Harry awoke happily, having just finished one of the best dreams that he'd had in a while. It was the kind of dream that, after waking up, one couldn't remember any details, just feelings. Harry could barely even remember any one part of the dream. It just couldn't be put into words. What the dream had lacked in simplicity, though, it made up for in the feelings of peace and happiness it left Harry with.
Taking a deep breath, Harry looked down at Hermione, who still seemed to be asleep. It all seemed so surreal, like at any moment he would wake up in Potions class and Snape would smack him on the back of the head. But here he was, lying in a bed with his best-friend-now-more cuddled up against him. Harry never wanted to leave. Then he became aware of Harry Junior, pressing against Hermione with a joyful determination.
Harry groaned. He began shifting himself, trying to get out of the bed without waking Hermione. He failed.
"Ugh, Harry, what are you doing?" Hermione's muffled voice came from somewhere near Harry's chest, so close he could almost feel the sound vibrations.
"I've gotta, you know, take care of something," Harry awkwardly answered. He didn't really want to elaborate any further.
"No, stay. I don't wanna move."
Harry sighed. "I'm kind of poking you."
"Don't care." She pressed herself even more tightly into him, as if she were trying to lock him in place.
Harry would have thought it quite cute if he hadn't been feeling both uncomfortably hard and aroused at the moment. Finally giving in, he stopped resisting and fell back into bed. In truth, he hadn't really wanted to move. He'd been quite comfortable too. And if Hermione didn't care, why leave? Harry Junior enjoyed being against her warm body too, even though he never seemed to be satisfied.
Back in dream world, Harry was experiencing the most amazing feeling. Hermione was there, and she was giving him a hand job. At least, that's what it seemed like. Her soft, warm touch felt so spectacular that it almost seemed real. Actually, there was no 'almost' about. It actually felt real!
Then Harry woke up. And saw Hermione, bright red, his second wand firmly in her grip.
"Uhhh...Hermione?" Harry wasn't sure whether to be happy, excited, embarrassed, nervous, or all of the above. Hermione looked equally confused.
"Sorry, Harry. Didn't mean to...um...wake you up. It's just that, well, you were poking me and I thought maybe I could shift it without waking you up."
"Oh, uh, ok. Sorry…?" Harry wasn't really quite sure what to do. What does one do when he wakes up to find someone holding his penis in an attempt to move it? The weird thing was, Hermione wasn't letting go. Harry most certainly wasn't complaining, though. Not at all.
"Does it hurt, Harry?" Hermione asked, suddenly.
"What? Well, yeah, I mean, no, well, kind of...not hurt exactly...why?" Harry was still extremely confused. He felt like Hermione was performing some sort of physical on him. It was quite a weird physical, admittedly. Even more awkward than normal ones, too. Pretty soon she'd be asking him to cough.
"It's just, you seem stressed whenever your penis is in an erect state like that."
"I'm kinda just worried about poking you. People tend to make certain assumptions when a guy presses into them when he's hard." Yeah, this was feeling more and more like some Muggle doctor's appointment. Hermione's parents were dentists, though. "Especially when it rubs against something or gets touched."
As if to prove her point, Hermione gave Harry Junior a firm squeeze, making Harry let out a gasp. Apparently satisfied, Hermione gave Harry one of her looks. "Doesn't hurt, huh?"
Still recovering from the squeeze, Harry tried to explain and defend himself. "It's not pain. It's just, like sensitive. Plus, you caught me by surprise with that one."
"And if I warned you ahead of time what I would do, are you saying you wouldn't make any sort of sound or give any evidence that things were out of the ordinary?" Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, you weren't exactly being all quiet and normal when I found you with that book," Hermione instantly turned bright pink. "What kind of book was that, anyway? Was it one from that library we visited, by any chance?" From Hermione's expression, Harry knew he was dead on. And slightly more hard on.
"That's different," she tried to argue. "That's how girls, um, relieve tension. It feels good."
"And how is that any different from this, which is how guys, as you put it, relieve tension?"
That shut her up. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, looking thoughtful.
"Would you look at that," Harry grinned, "Hermione Granger not knowing something. Between that book and your usual study habits, I would have thought you'd know everything there was to know about this sort of thing."
Hermione turned an even pinker hue. "It's...complicated," she admitted. "It's not like there's some how-to guide readily available in the library. And I looked! I don't think even the Restricted Section even has stuff like that." Seeing Harry's wide grin, she added, "Oh like you wouldn't! I mean I really didn't...much...Anyway, a lot of stuff you find or hear isn't all that accurate or helpful. There are all these details, and of course I've had an awful 'talk' with my parents, but that still doesn't leave you feeling like you know what you're doing." She looked at Harry, now a little worried and also embarrassed. "I'm not the only one who has that, right? You know what I'm talking about?"
"Oh yeah," Harry nodded, thinking of locker room and dorm conversations, "pretty sure it's not medically impossible for a girl to fart. Ah, First Year. So young, so stupid."
Hermione smiled. "Exactly. It's not my fault that I don't know everything about everything. I just make do with the 99% I've got," she added smugly. "It still counts as Outstanding."
"Well, then it's time you learned some things," Harry announced. "Welcome to Male Sexuality 101. That's a penis," Harry pointed to Harry Junior, who was proudly standing on display, "It likes attention. Especially from others"
Hermione smiled and happily gave Harry Junior a firm handshake. Both Harry and Harry Junior greatly appreciated the gesture, even if they were a bit surprised at the student's enthusiasm.
Then Hermione, in one smooth movement, lifted up her hips and slipped her pajamas and panties down to her ankles, effectively baring her own subject matter. Harry was speechless. Harry Junior was quite interested.
"Well, Harry, I guess I should introduce you to Female Sexuality 101. This is my vagina, or pussy if you prefer. It likes to be played with too, even petted you might say, although I'm guessing you already knew that based on your your little spying adventure." She glared teasingly at him.
They stared at each other for about thirty seconds. Then Harry started cracking up. Hermione smiled for a few seconds before starting to laugh too.
"All the other pairs are probably just shagging in a broom closet somewhere, and here we are enrolling each other in fake courses." He pointed accusingly toward Hermione. "This has to be all your fault."
She smiled. "Mr. Potter, if you wish to withdraw from the class, that is perfectly fine."
"Nope!"
"That's what I thought." They both smiled for a while before Hermione went back into 'research mode.'
"So it really feels good when someone touches it? That's how you get rid of your problematic tension?" Harry just rolled his eyes.
"Why don't you just try for yourself and give me hand if you're so curious?"
"Not a bad idea."
With that Hermione moved down lower in the bed, inspected Harry's personal basilisk for a moment, and then began slowly rubbing it. Harry had been about to say something along the lines of I was just being sarcastic when she started rubbing. "Screw it," he thought to himself, "if she wants to, who am I to stop her?" Soon after that Harry began to lose a considerable amount of coherent thought.
Hermione, seeing the effect her handling on Harry was having, began to up the pace, rubbing him quickly and tightly. She too was enjoying herself quite thoroughly.
"Having fun, Harry?" she teased gently.
"Yup." Harry's vocabulary was now mostly limited to single syllable words. His upper head wasn't really in control anymore. It had been too long anyway since he last polished his wand, and having someone else do it felt infinitely better than his own hand.
"Gosh, it's really warm and hard isn't it? But the skin feels soft to the touch."
"Mmm hmmm"
"Mind if I get my hand a bit wet?"
"Sure" Harry wasn't really even listening at this point. He did notice, though, when Hermione's newly salivated hand started rubbing his cock at an even faster, firmer pace than before.
Harry had never felt better. Harry Junior was experiencing sensations he'd never dreamed of. Hermione's small hands were soft and slippery, and he could barely contain his joy as she happily stroked his manhood with quick, smooth jerks. Soon, that joy just couldn't be held on to any longer. Harry felt his balls clench up and knew that it wouldn't be long.
"Hermione, I'm gonna cum!"
"Okay, but what does that-"
Hermione's question was interrupted as Harry erupted in her hands, shooting out white strands of sticky cum. Nearly every single one landed on Hermione's shirt. As Harry slowly settled back down to Earth, feeling his muscles lose practically all their tension, he noticed Hermione glaring at him.
"Why didn't you tell me it would make that much of a mess?"
"Huh?" Harry, breathing hard and still coming back from post-orgasmic bliss, wasn't in the most intellectual of states. "Uhh, that's what happens when a guy cums."
"But so much? And so far?" Hermione shook her head and looked down at her shirt, which was now soaked. "Oh well. I guess now I know. Better get this thing off."
With that, Hermione grabbed the bottom of her shirt and lifted it over her head, flinging it in the corner of the room. At least, that's where Harry assumed it went. The moment the shirt went above chest level, Harry's eyes were glued to Hermione's pair of glorious tits. Just like when he'd caught her before, her nipples were rock solid and pointy. When Hermione saw where Harry's gaze was directed, she sighed.
"Honestly, you've seen these before. Are they really that special?"
"Hmm?" Harry had been too busy staring at the boobs in front of him, which moved ever so slightly as Hermione breathed and talked, to actually pay attention to what had been said.
This time, Hermione covered herself with her hands before asking, waiting for Harry's eyes to meet hers (which took some time). "What," she repeated, "is it about breasts that excite you so much? Guys have nipples and stuff too."
"I don't know," Harry replied, disappointed and angry at her stupid hands, "they're just, um, hardwired in."
Hermione rolled her eyes and, after seeing Harry's longing look, uncovered her boobs.
After staring for a while, Harry innocently asked, "Well, since you so kindly helped me, do you want me to return the favor?"
Needing a second the understand what he meant, Hermione's eyes widened and she stuttered, "Well, um, I...I guess if...that is, if you...well, yes?"
Before she could talk any more, Harry's hand had begun slowly rubbing on her inner thighs, enjoying the feel of her soft, smooth skin. Hermione let out a moan at his touch, a shiver going through her as his hand was so close. Without even meaning to, she let out a little moan.
"Is this good?"
"Yeah, Harry. Yes."
"Anything else?" Harry was thoroughly enjoying himself, slowly rubbing up and down along her thighs, and against the edge of her knickers, which were quickly growing damp.
"Mmm my knickers, Harry. Take them off. Please?"
Harry grinned, deciding to have a little fun. "Oh, you mean these knickers?" he teased, rubbing her at the dampest spot with a maddeningly light touch.
"Damnit Harry!" she growled, writhing on the bed and opening her legs up, trying to touch herself as well. Harry pushed her hands away, though. "Just take them off! I need this!"
Still grinning at having her like this, Harry slowly took the hem of her panties and slid them down, Hermione arching her back to allow him to easily remove them. Once they were at her knees, that was apparently good enough, as Hermione quickly sat back and spread her legs, allowing Harry easy access and a lovely view to boot.
Grinning, Harry began to slowly tease her wet folds, paying special attention to the little knub Hermione called her clit, which seemed to especially rouse a reaction out of her. Unable to contain herself as Harry teased her wet folds, Hermione let out a low moan and started playing with her nipples, pinching and pulling on them.
"See, Hermione?" Harry smirked. "You're not silent and normal either." Hermione was too caught up in her own pleasure to retort.
Soon Harry's hand grew tired of simply stroking Hermione's slit. Very slowly, he took his middle finger and slowly entered It felt amazingly warm and tight, with just the right amount of friction and slipperiness, that Harry could barely believe it. Even having his finger inside of her felt so nice! He could only imagine how it would feel to really be inside of her. Hopefully he wouldn't have to imagine for much longer.
Hermione seemed to really enjoy Harry's finger as well, starting to moan and writhe with even more vigor. "Yes Harry! That's it! Ohhh yes! Fuck!"
"Hermione!" Harry admonished teasingly, fucking her with his finger faster, occasionally slowing and stroking the top of her walls with his finger, like he was beckoning someone. "What's a good girl like you doing saying a naughty word like that?"
"Just don't stop, I'm so fucking close!"
"Though I guess your true F-word is 'fail,' isn't it?" Harry teased, slowing down again and rubbing on her clit with his thumb.
"Harry!"
Harry's finger was now ramming into Hermione at full speed, and her walls were tightly clenching and unclenching around it. Realizing how close she was, Harry quickly pulled out. Then, taking both his index and middle fingers this time, began thrusting again. It was a tight fit, her walls now extremely tight on his two fingers, but the effect on her was almost instantaneous.
"Oh fuck! That's it, Harry! Don't stop! YES! Yeeesss!"
Hermione's whole body clenched, almost wrapping around Harry for a good ten seconds, before she simply crumpled, quivering for a few moments before lying still. Both were left deeply panting and covered in sweat.
They two lay on the bed for a few minutes, both thoroughly exhausted even though they'd just recently woke up. Finally, Hermione slowly sat up.
"Wow, Harry. That's...that's about all I can say."
He grinned. "Do I pass the course?"
"Oh, with flying colors." Hermione looked down at Harry, whose one-eyed snake was beginning to stir again.
"What about me?" Hermione asked.
"You're a lot better than just me by myself. You even tamed the monster for a while. Though I think now he's coming back." As if in response, Harry Junior gave a little twitch.
She smiled. "Well, that's going to have to wait. We're going to have to hurry if we don't want to miss breakfast. I'll take first shower."
Hermione reluctantly climbed out of bed, leaving Harry alone in the bed. Sighing, Harry got out of bed. "Oh well," he thought. "Best class I've had all year."
Harry smiled the next Monday morning as he and Hermione went down to breakfast. They'd had another session of 'early morning classes,' which had been just as enjoyable as the previous morning's had been. Harry had initially been worried about what this would do to his and Hermione's relationship during normal hours, but his fears had been misplaced. Things were still perfectly normal and friendly between them, sometimes a little more, and it wasn't nearly as awkward as he'd once worried it could be.
Almost immediately after sitting down, Harry and Hermione were treated to the latest gossip that had taken a hold of the student body. Apparently, Dumbledore had finally found a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and classes for the class would be starting as early as today! From the sound of things, she was actually being provided through the Ministry of Magic itself. Some of the students were wondering if she was partially coming to help promote and enforce the new laws, which did make some sense.
Ran Diyader and his staff hadn't done very much at all besides meet with eligible students and coordinate meetings. They were supposedly open every day for counseling and advice, but Harry didn't think anyone had actually gone to that. The man had seemingly no social skills, either for students or the faculty. You'd think the Ministry would have classes or seminars for interacting with people! Most figured anyone the Ministry sent would be more qualified than him. For the students that hadn't been paired, which was a definite majority, school life hadn't changed much at all. Many were horny teenagers, but that was hardly any different from the usual. Perhaps this lady would change things up.
Soon students were shuffling inside the newly decorated Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. It was something like a running joke in Harry's year to bet on what the new DADA room would look like, as each new professor decorated it to their own interests and preferences. Needless to say, no one had done too well with the betting this year. This time around, instead of skeletons or other Dark-looking items, the room seemed to be covered in pink. This wasn't just some light, easy-to-miss pink either. No, this was bright hot pink. There were lacy curtains, little frilly pillows, and even some pictures of kittens on a shelf. Harry knew he shouldn't make snap judgments about a professor based on her decoration, especially before he met her, but this certainly raised a red flag in his mind. He had a feeling he wasn't the only one, either.
"ahem...ahem...HACK!"
The students frightfully turned around, looking to see what had made such a hideous noise. What they found was a very short, dumpy looking woman dressed in more pink who seemed to be recovering from a very bad case of allergies or something, which would explain the awful hacking. After the woman had recovered, blowing her nose into a disgustingly pink, laced handkerchief, she slowly made her way over to the desk, proceeding to write her name upon the blackboard in a flourished cursive style and introducing herself as she walked.
"Good morning, class!" Despite the awful coughing fit she'd just experienced, the lady seemed eager to talk in a grating, high pitched voice, "My name is Professor Bumridge, and this term I will be teaching you about the dangers that you currently face each and every day."
With a wave of her wand, Bumridge sent a stack of books down the aisle of students, dropping a book off at each one.
"After looking through your records, it seems to both myself and the Ministry that your curriculum has been extremely very fragmented and unregulated. You were exposed to many dangers, and there are many things you are still unaware of. It is understandable, of course, given the...characters...that have attempted to teach you now, with no consideration for you in terms of long term planning and lesson development. It is now my job to bring you through a Ministry-approved course, specially designed for your circumstances, which will be especially important due to what has happened over the summer."
"Well, that's good." Harry thought. "Seems they still want to continue teaching us Defense. I was all worried that they wouldn't since Voldemort's gone. And you know, it's a fair point that we've been pretty chaotic in this class. Maybe this lady knows what she's doing after all!"
"A lot of you have been hearing a lot of rumors lately. Older students, and maybe even students in your own year, have been spreading false ideas, poisoning your precious young minds."
The red flags were starting to go off in Harry's head again. What was this woman saying? Was she trying to deny things that had happened, like Voldemort's botched return or the results of the plague? There was no way the Ministry would try and cover up something that should be common knowledge, right?
"What the Ministry and I are here to do is to correct these wrongs, and help set you on the correct path."
"That's it," Harry thought. "Cedric didn't die for nothing. All the victims of the plague didn't die for nothing. Can these people really try and deny what's so plainly in front of their stupid noses?" Harry was just about to stand up, or maybe at least raise his hand in a rebellious way, when he finally looked down saw the book that had just landed on his desk. It was titled "Healthy Procreation: A Look at the Dangers of Sexual Intercourse and Proper Methods to Avoid It."
"The danger that I am speaking of here is known as sexual intercourse. It is one of the vilest practices upon this Earth. This vile action, and other derivatives of it, lead to many horrible, incurable conditions. It is known to pass horrendous diseases. It corrupts both the magic and the mind. Even actions that may seem more innocent, such as heavy physical touch or kissing, can lead to symptoms."
Harry glanced around skeptically, looking at Hermione, Ron, and the other students. This couldn't be happening! Why? How? Maybe this was some sort of amazing prank. It had to be. Then again, from Bumridge's face, it really didn't look like it. She was completely serious. How in the name of Merlin's left earlobe had the rest of the staff approved this? How had the Ministry?
"As you know, the Ministry has passed laws recently that require students to bear children. You may have been taught from woefully uninformed members of the population, likely with Muggle ties, that the only way to do this is through the reproachable act I have mentioned already. However, this is most certainly not the case. The Ministry has sent me to help you relearn and better understand what is required of you. One of my colleagues, whom you have unfortunately already met, does not fully agree with this stance. I assure you that efforts to remove him are already under way."
That explained why Diyader hadn't been very active lately. But did Bumridge even know what he'd done besides meet with students? Harry highly doubted that she and the Ministry approved, for instance, of the contents of the library he and Hermione had found. "Speaking of which," Harry thought to himself, "I think we're due for another visit. Things might turn out a bit differently in there this time."
"Now," Professor Bumridge smiled, "why don't you all open those wonderful new books in front of you and take some time to read the Introduction." With that, she happily plopped into a pink velvet chair next to her pink desk, leaving the students to muck through what had to be the largest pile of dragon dung any of them had ever encountered. Harry sighed and opened the book, starting with the introduction:
Welcome, student, to the Ministry's Guide to healthy procreation! This passage you are reading will lay out for you what you can expect to be covered throughout this Ministry-approved course. Our first major section of learning will be in regards to the mental and magical dangers of sexual intercourse. In short, this act leaves the perpetrator drained of magic and unable to coherently think. It modifies and even lowers magical core levels, can tie participants together in rituals considered extremely Dark, and has even been found to block off certain sections of the mind! Our second major section will cover the physical impediments sexual intercourse brings. Studies have shown that sexual acts will lead to increased acne, palm sweating, warts, unsafe pheromones, and loss of bladder control, among others. The third major section will cover harmful diseases passed on through sexual actions, such as Dragon Herpes and the dreaded Flaming Firewhiskey Crotch Disease. Our final unit of study will cover the many safe, Ministry-recommended reproduction methods available to you, such as proper, sustained meditation (a technique known as "Happy Baby Thoughts"). With this knowledge, by the end of the course you should be able to safely produce offspring within the next 3.14159 years. I hope you enjoy this course!
Sincerely,
Knobang Enivan Ava
Harry wasn't sure whether or not to laugh or to cry. This had to be joke. It had to be. Didn't it? But again, from Bumridge's expression, it certainly didn't look like it. Was the Ministry that stupid? Or was it just this woman? Is this how the law expected them to repopulate? Harry noticed that Hermione had finished reading, and her hand was boldly raised.
"Yes, dear?" Bumridge clearly wasn't happy that Hermione's book remained untouched.
"Please correct me if I'm wrong here," Hermione stated, "but are you trying to tell me that sex is something to be avoided at all costs and that it can be replaced reproductive-wise by meditation?"
"Exactly, my dear. Marvelously put. The Ministry is even in the process of banning the vile act altogether."
"Wait," Ron interrupted, "you mean that if I meet some cute witch who likes me back, the Ministry doesn't want me fuck her brains out? Or even kiss her?"
"Language and hand!" Bumridge practically shouted. "I will not tolerate such actions or words. This classroom must maintain order, and if we are to describe this act at all, you shall only refer to it as sexual intercourse."
"We can't even call it sex?!" Dean shouted.
"Hand!" Bumridge yelled. "And no, you most certainly cannot."
Harry was about to put in his two cents' worth when Bumridge held up her wand a released a loud "BANG!" before yelling, "Class, I can see that the lies are harder to fight that what was originally thought. There will be no more talking of any kind for the rest of the class. Instead, I want you to begin reading your textbooks and start opening your minds to the truth!"
For the rest of the class, since they were toward the back, Harry, Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Neville all exchanged smirks and extremely inappropriate gestures and facial expressions. It most definitely beat reading the book. Bumridge almost caught Ron pretending to deepthroat his want, but Dean managed to distract her with a loud, obviously fake sneeze. Obvious, at least, to every student in the room.
When the class was finally over, Harry saw Fred and George hanging around near the classroom entrance. When they saw him, they gestured for him to come over, which he did.
"So, Harry…"
"How was your first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson?"
Harry made a face, and the twins laughed.
"That woman has to be completely mental," George whispered as Bumridge walked by. Harry nodded in agreement.
"You know," Harry added, "there might be some good that'll come from this."
The twins looked puzzled. "How so?" Fred asked.
"I have a feeling there'll be a lot more orders coming in soon. And I've got some plans for pranks just for our new favorite teacher."
All three smiled evilly, and the trio set off, devising the best possible pranks for their prude new teacher.
/:Note:/ Well, there you go! Another chapter, and Harry and Hermione have finally started having a bit of fun. Maybe you did too. Don't hesitate to let me know how you liked it. I'm not very used to writing lemony stuff, so hopefully that went fine. If not, I'm open to suggestions/advice. I'm still taking pairing suggestions, and hopefully there'll be some sort of vote within the next few chapters. Harry/Luna and Draco/Ginny seem to have the majority right now. Apologies if you didn't like waiting a bit longer for this chapter. I had to completely rewrite it, which wasted some time. Plus, the rate I was going at before is kind of hard to maintain. I'd still like to have a life away from my computer. If you want more to read, I've published the first chapter of a little spin-off featuring Neville and Hannah (Creatively known as Magical Repopulation: Neville & Hannah. I'm quite the literary genius, aren't I?). It won't be anything big, maybe a few chapters max to add to when writing is slow or something, but I thought I'd put it up just for fun. Anyway, thanks for reading, and have a great day!