"So let me get this straight," Arthur Weasley sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "After practically throwing herself at you and getting pushed back by Hermione, my daughter then proceed to initiate a mild blood feud, without the consent or notification of myself or my wife, which I don't even think should be possible, nevermind how incredibly stupid it is, that forces you to get her pregnant if you lose some prank war. Please tell me I've misunderstood something here?"

"Nope, you've pretty much nailed it, Mr. Weasley" Harry replied. He hadn't intended to explain the full situation, but one thing had lead to another and he really didn't want to lie to the Weasley patriarch. Thankfully, Mrs. Weasley was out of the house when Harry called. Molly Weasley was like a mother to him, but Harry preferred his eardrums not exploded, thank you very much.

Arthur sighed again. He shouldn't have been too surprised. He'd known about Ginny's crush on Harry Potter since before he'd even met the boy. Why Molly had thought reading her all those children's books about the "Boy-Who-Lived" was a good idea he'd never know. Though in truth, the books hadn't been half bad story-wise. The homemade Harry Potter quilt might have been a bit much though. And the Hairy Potter Shampoo. And the Harry Potter "Pot your own flowers" gardening set. Not to mention the Harry Potter Porta Potty. Molly had assured him that it was just a phase, but Arthur was beginning to think they might have pandered to their youngest daughter a bit too much. When one's youngest child of seven is your only daughter, it's a bit hard not to dote.

"I'll talk to her as soon as I can," Arthur eventually replied. "As her Head of House and her father, I think I can pretty much force her to forfeit this troublesome feud. Even if she won't budge on it, I'm almost positive as Head of House Weasley I can have the whole thing thrown out. I'm not entirely familiar with this specific type of feud, but I would think it shouldn't be too different from other minor feuds declared. Believe it or not, this issue of children trying to declare feuds happens more than you might think, especially when those children have grown up in powerful families and think they can do whatever they want."

"Malfoy?"

"Malfoy."

Harry grinned, though Mr. Weasley just looked more tired than amused. "Actually, Mr. Weasley, while that's good to know, I'm hoping that such tactics won't be necessary. I'm planning on meeting someone else for help in that regard. The main reason I called you...well, there were actually two reasons, but the second would benefit from Mrs. Weasley's presence...anyway, I was hoping you could maybe tell me a bit about being a Head of House. You see, Hermione and I just visited Gringotts, and one of the main things we were talking about was how I'll soon be assuming my positions of Lord and Head of House Potter. Neither Hermione nor I knows much about this sort of thing, since we were both Muggle-raised. We plan to do plenty of research regardless, but I was wondering if you had any advice or information you think might be helpful."

Arthur nodded. It was about time that Harry started coming to terms with and preparing for the responsibilities he had as the only remaining member of an Ancient and Most Noble House. Why Dumbledore had insisted that the boy didn't need to worry about any of that he would never understand. The Headmaster had claimed that Harry needed to enjoy his childhood. Arthur knew that most Heirs to important houses typically had a lot of pressures forced on them from a young age, but surely such duties and lessons would pale in comparison to Harry's fame and his numerous encounters with He-Who-...Voldemort.

"Being the Head of a House is a very big responsibility, Harry," Arthur answered. "The Head of House is expected to care for all members of a house, acting almost as a secondary guardian. Since you don't currently have family members depending on you, that won't really be an issue, at least for a while yet. However, another one of your duties will be to manage or oversee the management of your house's finances, properties, businesses, and assets. Since the House of Potter is an Ancient and Most Noble House, you'll likely have a large number of things requiring your attention."

"Hold on," Harry interjected, "sorry to interrupt, but what do things like Noble and Ancient mean, exactly?"

Raising an eyebrow, Mr. Weasley scratched the back of his head and again sighed. "My apologies, Harry. I keep forgetting how little has actually been explained to you. I would really recommend finding some books on politics and history of the magical world to get a bit more of an idea of the world you and I are living in. A knowledge of these things will be especially important once you assume your lordship. Keeping close ties with Ron and especially Neville would be good ideas as well, since they are much more versed in wizarding culture and law. Neville might very well be in the same boat as you, actually, if he's been paired and emancipated also. He is the Heir to the Ancient and Noble House of Longbottom, a longtime ally of your house, though now or very soon he may also assume the position and title of Lord and Head of House. Back on track, though. An Ancient House is one that has been an independent house for over a millennium, while the added prefix of "Most" is added when the house has existed for 1500 years or more. The House of Ollivander, in fact, has nearly reached a status of Most Most Ancient. Not the most eloquent or clever of titles, granted, but that's another matter. The title of "Noble" for a house is given when that house has performed numerous acts of valor benefitting the magical world. The House of Potter has been well known for its contributions to the wizarding world throughout its existence, and quite recently gained the status of "Most Noble." The efforts of you and your parents against V...Voldemort were considered the final push for the title's acquisition. Most thought it was deserved as early as a few centuries ago. Again, though, that's another matter that I don't think we need to get into now."

"I hadn't even thought about Neville's position," Harry muttered, more to himself than to Mr. Weasley. "But that's true. He probably is in the same position as me since he got paired up with Hannah. I'll have to ask him for his advice the next time I see him."

"One thing I would especially recommend," Mr. Weasley continued, "would be to start getting more acquainted politically. As Lord Potter, you will have a seat and a vote in the Wizengamot. The plague shifted power somewhat, so that means that your participation will be especially important. It would be a good idea to start reforging alliances with old Potter allies, as well as looking to make some new ones. Don't just mingle with Gryffindors, either. A lot of the kids in other houses, especially ones in your year, have strong and important political ties."

Harry nodded. That made a lot of sense, especially since a lot of powerful, old families had been headed by now-dead Death Eaters. One thing nagged in his mind regarding the Ministry and politics, though.

"Mr. Weasley, I don't know if you've heard yet, or not, but we have a new professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. She's supposedly from the Ministry with its approval, but I don't see how anyone could possibly-"

"Bumridge?"

Harry nodded.

Again, Arthur Weasley sighed heavily. "I've met the woman several times, and in my opinion there are very few who would make a worse instructor. But if you're asking about her views on...human reproduction, well unfortunately she is indeed speaking for the Ministry, or at least Fudge." Arthur rolled his eyes. "The very idea of their position is downright absurd. Anyone with an ounce of common sense could tell you that meditation or some sort of magical bond won't successfully produce a child, at least as it's been currently approached. Sure, you've got a few nutjobs who claim the technique has worked, but no one ever took them seriously. Actually, this theory has in fact been around for a long time. One of the magical world's most influential early thinkers, Anita Neujobb, hypothesized that, since magic separated us from the mundane, her term for Muggles, then perhaps there was a method of reproduction magically that was also separate from the 'mundane' way. This idea has since been reintroduced into magical society many times throughout the centuries. Recently, it has resurfaced again, and many in the Ministry, including Fudge, are latching onto for two reasons. The first is that some have hypothesized that, since the fertility of magical folk was targeted by the magical plague, sexual intercourse is somehow connected and its practice could somehow bring forth a new outbreak. That the plague was channeled by the Dark Mark, not a sexual act, seems to have escaped their notice. The second is that, if a new form of reproduction does exist, then magical folk might be able to reproduce in this way, negating the need for all this 'repopulation' by younger people and helping keep powerful houses from dying out."

"But they're seriously going to try and force those new ideas on us? Even if this new method were a thing, do they actually think they're going to stop horny teenagers from having sex?" Harry angrily replied, blushing when he realized who he was talking to.

Arthur merely chuckled. "I was young once too, Harry, and I agree with you. Unfortunately, any attempts to get the Minister to see some sense have been unsuccessful. Now, is there anything else you'd like to ask about or know? I don't know if you heard, but Molly just got back, if that affects what you'd to say or not say-"

"Arthur, who are you-" Harry heard Molly's voice calling out for her husband. "Oh there you are. Hello, Harry! I hope you're well. How's school going?"

Arthur grimaced. "Harry was just, um, filling me in on some interesting items of note, but I think it'd be better for me to just tell you later so he doesn't have to repeat himself."

Harry inwardly sighed with relief. He definitely did not want to be around when Mrs. Weasley heard about her daughter's most recent actions. "Actually," Harry answered, both Weasleys turning toward him expectantly, "there is one more thing I could use some advice on. You see, Hermione wants us to get married…"

"Well, I'm glad to see you looking well, Harry. I hope everything at Gringotts went smoothly. When it gets busy there, the goblins tend to be a tad irritable. Anyway, to what do I owe the pleasure of this call? Since you went with our home Floo address, I'm hoping that you're not in any legal trouble, but given all that you've had to deal with already I would admit that I wouldn't be overly surprised."

Harry chuckled. She had a point. Sometimes it felt like he was the living example of Murphy's Law. "Well, Mrs. Henderson, I will admit that though I would appreciate your husband's advice on a few matters, I wouldn't say that I'm currently in trouble, so to speak. More just hoping for a professional opinion on the feasibility of a few ideas."

"Well, that's fine. And please, call me Bethany. Philip should be arriving home any minute now. How's Hermione?"

Harry smiled. "She was fine the last time I saw her. Right now she's in Flourish and Blotts, no doubt accumulating a giant stack of books that, if not for magic, I'm sure I'd be stuck carrying out."

Bethany laughed. "Yes, magic really does help solve a lot of problems. A shame that many tend to rely on it so heavily, though. It's amazing what people can forget when they're so accustomed to using magic to do things for them. Both my husband and I are Muggleborn, and we want to make sure that Vinny doesn't take for granted the world he's been born into."

Harry nodded. He'd noticed that too, and when he had a child he'd want to ensure the exact same thing. Another thing stuck out to him though. "Bethany, you said you and your husband were both Muggle-born, right?"

She nodded. "Yes, it can be a hassle at times to stay connected with family, but we do our best. What about...oh….I see." Bethany smiled, with a knowing look in her eye. "Yes, I think my Philip will be able to help you with that quite nicely, if I'm assuming what you're here for correctly."

Harry nodded, smiling. Her husband may be the lawyer of the family, but Bethany had a sharp mind as well.

"What am I helping with now?" came an articulate, well-projected voice.

Philip Henderson was not a tall man, but his posture, stance, and sense of authority made him seem much larger. He had short brown hair combed in such a way that he seemed to be both formal and casual, and he was dressed smartly in what seemed a combination of a suit and the traditional robes of the magical world. It looked impressive, and Harry made a mental note to look for something similar. It looked much better than any dress robes he'd seen.

"This is Harry, dear. The one I told you about while we were having lunch earlier."

"Harry Potter, sir." Harry added. "I'd offer my hand, but…" Harry looked meaningfully below at the fireplace. Shaking hands can awkward when you're only a disembodied head in a fireplace. True, he could stick his hand through, but that still wouldn't make things any less weird.

The man chuckled warmly. "I can't fault you there, Mr. Potter. And please, call me Philip. I'll admit I was rather surprised when I heard of your meeting with my wife and son. Quite the fortuitous event, for sure! Now, what do you need help with?"

"Then by all means please call me Harry. And, well, there's actually two things I was hoping to ask you about," Harry answered. "The first," he continued, a bit hesitantly due to embarrassment, "well, you see, I was kind of tricked into entering into a contract with, shall we say, less than ideal terms."

Harry then proceeded to explain to the lawyer what had happened with Ginny. Philip patiently listened throughout, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"So, I was thinking that since Ginny changed the contract, and since she did it without consent of her Head of House, there should be a way to reverse this right? I mean, if it came to it, could we sue her to get the contract annulled?"

Philip shook his head, but for some reason he was grinning. "No, I'm afraid she's got you by the balls on this one." Anticipating Harry's groan, he added, "Sorry, couldn't resist. I am a father, after all. Those dad jokes aren't going to tell themselves. Anyway, unfortunately, her changing the contract doesn't matter since you signed the final one. A lot of shady businessmen operate that way, making certain lines invisible or with Notice-me-Nots placed on them. Many lawyers, including myself, have been trying to push for a new regulation system, since a great many of these conflicts waste everyone's time, especially ours. However, neither the Ministry nor the Wizengamot has budged on the issue. The Head of House's aid would probably work, though it could have complications of its own. However, I think there's a very important detail that both you and this Ginny seem to have missed."

Harry frowned. He couldn't think of anything they had missed.

"It's more of a potential loophole, actually. If you correctly told me the exact wording of the contract, you should be golden. Loopholes like this aren't surprising when a teenaged witch tries to write a legally and magically binding contract."

Harry's eyebrows scrunched together (making his scar look noticeably more funny in the process) as he thought. What had he and Hermione missed when looking at the contract? How could he get out of impregnating Ginny?

"Does it...does it have something to do with time?" Harry asked. "I know there will be magical compulsions and side effects if I resist, but if I don't actually resist but just put it off, I'm fine since there's no deadline?"

Philip smiled but shook his head like a person observing someone else trying to solve a riddle he told. "Not a bad theory, but it wouldn't work. Eventually, the compulsion would become so strong that you wouldn't be able to put it off any longer. Your magic and mind would actually start convincing you that it was a good idea to impregnate her. Here's a hint. What would you say it means if you are 'required and magically obligated to impregnate the issuer of said feewd'?"

Harry felt himself go red. "Um...well, it would mean that I have to...that is to say that we'd...I'd…"

"That you'd have to have sex with her, with the result being that your sperm fertilized her egg, causing her to become pregnant with your child," Philip supplied.

"Yeah, that," Harry agreed.

"Well, where does it say in the contract that you need to do that?"

Now Harry was confused. "Well, I have to get her pregnant, don't I?"

"You do," Philip nodded, making a 'go on' gesture with his hand. "But….?"

"But," Harry continued, racking his mind for something that they would have missed. What would Ginny not think of? Ginny was pretty young, and she'd grown up without knowing much at all about the Muggle world. So she didn't really know much about how Muggles could keep from getting pregnant with pills and other ways more complicated than your basic condom or 'strategic withdrawal.' But that would only matter if the contract was more along the lines of "Harry needs to have sex once with Ginny." But then again, Muggles also had ways of getting pregnant that-

"Artificial fertilization!" Harry triumphantly answered. "I don't actually need to have sex with Ginny. I can just donate some of my sperm and then have them artificially implanted!" While he normally wouldn't feel comfortable with someone basically going off with his sperm and having his kid, Harry knew Ginny and the Weasleys well enough that that wouldn't be an issue. In the very least, it meant he didn't have to have sex with Ginny, even if he still got her pregnant, technically.

Philip smiled. "Not bad. You're right, you could do it that way. But there's an even better way."

Harry frowned, once again confused. Philip relented with the guesswork, thankfully.

"You're right that it doesn't say how you need to get her pregnant, only that through your actions she becomes pregnant. However, does it mention specifically that she needs to become pregnant with your child?"

"No, but isn't it implied that-"

"In terms of a legal and magical contract, nothing is implied. Therefore, you would be fulfilling your task if you gave her anyone's sperm. Or if you arranged for someone else to have sex with her. Really, there are a number of ways you could go about it. She'd could then either still get pregnant, or retract her claim and you would be declared the winner of said feewd."

Harry's eyes widened in comprehension as the implications dawned on him. It was so simple! How had he no one noticed it before?

Philip smiled again. "If the look on your face is any indication, I believe this problem has been solved. That only leaves one more, yes?"

"Actually," Bethany chimed in, returning with a large envelope, "I don't think Harry needs much advice on the front. He just could use a bit of note sharing in regards to the guest list of our wedding. Am I right?"

Harry nodded, still not believing his luck. Philip was right. His run in with Vinny had been extremely fortuitous. Bethany handed Harry the envelope through the fire.

"This is a copy of how we planned out our wedding. I think it should help you solve the issue with inviting certain guests. Will that do?"

"This is wonderful. Thank you so much, both of you." Harry answered. "What do I owe you?" he asked, turning to Philip.

"Why, nothing at all, Harry," the lawyer answered with amusement. "After all, I didn't do anything, did I? I just gave you a push in the right direction! And of course, my lovely wife was the one who helped with your other concern."

"Sir, I recently discovered I had more money than I ever hoped," Harry argued. "I have no idea what I'm going to do with it all. Seriously, I want to repay you for your help."

"Again, Harry, I did nothing," Philip answered. "The kindness you showed my wife and son is more than enough. However," he added with a charmingly devious grin, "if you're really set on keeping me around, you could always put me in charge of some aspect of your numerous holdings or legal matters once your Lordship becomes official."

"I will definitely keep that in mind," Harry replied with a similar grin. 'Wait, how did you know about my Lordship?"

"Harry, your last name was pretty well known to the magical world even before you defeated Voldemort. The fact that your parents, the last known Potters, died when you were a baby leaves it pretty obvious who will be the next Lord Potter. Plus, the emancipation granted you by the laws that no doubt initiated your marriage allow you to assume the Lordship much earlier than you normally would. It's quite obvious, really."

Harry groaned. "I really need to get out more, don't I?"

Bethany laughed. "It might help. Who knows? Maybe next you'll run into the child of some famous Quidditch player and end up with an in for a professional Quidditch career!"

The three laughed as Harry said his goodbyes and exited the Floo. Harry couldn't help but just sigh in wonder. That had gone so much better than he had even dared hope!

"Well, it's about time!" Hermione exclaimed when Harry walked into Flourish and Blotts. "I thought you had abandoned me here for good!"

"Wow, wouldn't that be awful," Harry sarcastically answered, giving his wife a peck on the cheek while eyeing the stack of books taller than he was. "Maybe I'll have to save that for an anniversary present."

"Funny," Hermione answered, though in the back of her head wondering if he was kidding or not. Not that she minded. Truth be told, she'd had a marvelous time. She just couldn't resist giving Harry a hard time. Granted, normally when she made things hard for him he enjoyed it quite a bit. Harry also enjoyed her bits during those times, which she enjoyed as well.

"I try," he answered, taking a fake bow.

"By the way," Hermione added, "I talked to my mother briefly while you were gone."

"Oh?" Harry answered, hoping to sound casual while he tried to subtly avoid her gaze.

"Yup," she answered, not fooled for an instant. "Mum says that dinner will be ready for us by the time we get there."

"Oh that's nice," Harry replied as he loaded the books into one of the Feather-weighted, Self-Shrinking book bags that Flourish and Blotts provided its Premium Members with. Needless to say, Hermione had been a member of that group for quite some time now, and would be for a while longer with the new source of funding Gringotts had brought to light. It wasn't until he shouldered the bag and turned to see Hermione waiting for him at the door that his mind finally began to register the words that had last left her mouth.

"Wait, dinner? By the time we get….no...NO...HERMIONE WATI!"