AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I totally know I said there would be sexy times in this chapter but apparently I lied. It was originally designed to have some smexy times but scenes ran long and since I haven't been to sleep yet, I'd rather write smut fresh from sleep rather than choppy and struggling.

Summary: The company has dinner with Beorn while within the company, all isn't as it seems...

When Beorn led us to the guest section of the main house, all of us were forced to follow quickly due to the large strides that our host was able to take. Gandalf followed closely, behind the main pack of dwarves like a watchful parent while Beorn directed us through a circular room with a fireplace in the middle that on the other side opened up to the main sleeping quarters for the guests.

Or rather, singular quarter. I expected for all of us to sleep together with little more than straw beds, but it appeared that Beorn's craftsmanship and need for consistent decorating extended even to his guest room. Inside the large room with more than enough space to accommodate Beorn's large bulk walking between them, there were rows of bunk beds all following the motif that the rest of the house did. Some of them had carvings of bears while others had the rest of Beorn's animals that could be found in the compound. As Beorn led us through them so that the dwarves could set what little they possessed down, I saw that the bunk beds were cushioned with straw and furs and left the option to pull a curtain so one could have a bit of privacy.

Beyond the main room of bunk beds, there was a hallway that Beorn directed us down to and going all the way to the back, I saw that there were doors, two on the left and one on the right. These must have been guest bedrooms for the more important lot in a group or when people needed a lot more privacy than just what a simple curtain could provide.

Beorn motioned to the room on the right, "Master Oakenshield, you'll be on the right," He then motioned to the room furthest back on the left, "Wee hobbit, you'll be there," He turned back around and started back off down the tiny hallway, knocking on the last door on the left as he passed, "Master Wizard, you'll be in here. Come along to dinner when you're all settled."

Excited by the prospect of actually having a room to myself while at Beorn's, I eagerly shoved aside the brothers and even Thorin to skip along to the end of the hallway, opening the doorway and peeking inside. Candles were already lit around the room, the brown furniture reflecting the glow almost like warmed chocolate. The room was a decent size given what was already expected of Beorn's entire compound with the bed itself the main decoration of the room, laden with straw and furs just like the bunk beds.

I went into the room and removed my jacket because of the heat in the room and set it aside on the end of the bed; my fingers smoothed over the furs and while I could not instantly recognize what animal was used for the blankets, I felt as if I'd seen it before.

I felt horribly self conscious about the lack of buttons on my vest and removed that as well, setting it aside next to my jacket once I folded it up nice and proper. A tiny sound caught my attention -a light tapping, as it were- and I looked down only to see a hint of gold in the light that was available. I didn't know what is was until I bent down to see and when my fingers picked up the object, I felt foolish that I'd forgotten.

The magic ring from Gollum's cave.

I turned it in my fingers, unable to take my eyes off of how beautiful it looked in the orange glow of the candles; as I turned it in my fingers, the ring appeared almost as if it were on fire, polished to perfection and smooth. It didn't have a scratch on it and it was still beautiful despite having been in Gollum's cave for an unknown period of time.

I almost wanted to put it on again but with the others practically waiting to go to dinner – already cheering about it even, as I could hear – I knew that it wouldn't be a good idea. Still, I couldn't help but stare at it, noting how perfect and pretty it was.

So engrossed I was in staring at the ring that when the door flew open, I squeaked in fright and accidentally dropped it. Quicker than I could understand, the brothers were coming into the room and removing their various weapons, all the while happily chatting away. Kili was already by the bed, his weapons unloaded and his outer most layers quickly following.

Fili smiled at me briefly, removing knife after knife and setting them down on the nearby chair.

"What are you two doing in here?"

The room was not theirs as Beorn made sure to point out and just barging in was poor manners. The brothers just laughed at my question, Kili carelessly throwing his bracers onto the nearby dresser, "You didn't think the perks went one way, did you?" Kili replied with a pinch on my bottom before he reached over and grabbed me, pulling me into his arms and shoving us both back onto the bed.

"W-what?!"

With a quick movement, the younger of the brothers hovered over me, his hair still tied up tightly in a ponytail. He looked content from his spot above me, a wide grin on his face. I couldn't deny either that with the way the candles reflected over his features, he looked gorgeous. Quite unexpectedly for him, I leaned up and threaded my fingers into his hair so that I could tug him down and kiss him.

"Perks like this?"

Despite the momentary shock of my kiss, Kili recovered quickly, leaning back out of my reach, "No, not like that. More like that if you can get special accommodations, we get them as well." He grinned at something then, chuckling, "Oh, how spoiled you would be if we were back in Ered Luin. A bed is the least you can offer us in return. Isn't that right, brother?"

When Kili looked back in the direction of where his brother was, the smile he had on his face fell and he looked confused, "What have you got there?"

I sat up, wanting to see what was going on since I too was curious over the change in Kili's demeanor. As soon as I saw it though, my eyes widened and I nearly jumped off the bed to shove Fili down to the floor. The urge to strike out at the older brother was powerful upon seeing Fili holding onto the magical ring that I won from Gollum. He wasn't even doing anything more than looking at it in the light, twisting it around the same way I did moments before. Yet, I couldn't help but want to take it back from him.

Just as Kili was getting up to go to his brother's side and look at the ring more closely, I sat up and called out, "That's my ring. I dropped it when you two whirlwinds stormed your way into my room."

Kili stood there by the foot of the bed, having stopped to listen to my explanation but his eyes remained on the gold band still being held by his brother. At the same time, Fili's eyes finally came away from the ring and after a moment's hesitation, he crossed the few steps it took to join me by the bed.

"It's a beautiful ring."

He mentioned, his voice a strange tremble on my rear as his eyes still beheld the simplistic beauty of my prized ring. There was something in the corners of his eyes, a lingering emotion while the gold of the band reflected in those blue depths. I was just about to reach out for the ring myself when he seemed to realize what he was doing. He chuckled in disbelief and held out his hand in offering; I opened my hand and couldn't help but feel a weight lifted off my chest when Fili dropped the ring into my waiting palm.

"Though it's not nearly as beautiful as you are."

He leaned forward to kiss me and I eagerly accepted such affection, groaning with how good it felt to finally have him kiss me again. Before we could really even think on taking the kiss a step further, Kili coughed, "As much as I'd hate to disrupt you two, I'm starving over here."

I laughed as Fili helped me up from the bed, "Boo, you don't love me."

I rather expected the younger brother to swoop in and make some kind of joke all the while groping at me but he just shrugged in response to my jest, "We all can't have everything; I'm starved and in desperate need to be fucked but only one of these things can happen in the foreseeable future," Kili motioned to the doorway, "So shall we go?"

I nodded, still chuckling at his statement and how forward it was and went on ahead, sliding the ring back into my vest pocket without much thought as I went passed the foot of the bed. Fili followed me and gave his brother a playful shove as he side stepped around him, "Be careful, brother, or else I won't love you either."

"Oh, you know I didn't mean anything by it."

Even as I looked back at them and saw that they were happily grinning at each other, there was an edge to their voices that was strange. It tingled in a strange way along the skin of my bottom but the tone with which they jested was light enough to not keep me from standing at the doorway and calling back if they were coming or not.

Most of the dwarves were absent from the main room when the three of us came out but Thorin, Dwalin and Balin remained behind to wait for us. We joined up with them and all of us went together back to the dining hall where we could hear the other dwarves already happy in their ales by the sound of it. The room was bustling with activity when we entered, Beorn's various animals helping to do their part in setting out the meal that Beorn invited us to. Sheep were carrying trays of food on their backs while some lean, skinny dogs were helping to set the table with plates. Other dogs were taking the trays and arranging them onto the table.

At the same time, horses were shifting around the furniture so that everyone could have a place to sit and eat; the entire room was so busy that I elected to stay clear out of the way until everything was moved where it was supposed to be and the animals were out of the way. As soon as Beorn saw me though, he called out to me in that rumbling voice and motioned for me to join him.

The other dwarves moved around the hustle and bustle of the animals, sitting on the seats arranged for them while I was lifted onto the seat nearest Beorn by the skin-changer himself. He sat in his giant straight backed chair while I was on his left and Thorin on his right. Gandalf sat opposite Beorn at the head of the other side of the table while the brothers sat next to Thorin and Dwalin hovered next to me. Beorn was generous with his ale, already reaching out to pour me some into a wooden drinking bowl that had a bear for a grip.

As he did this, already cheery and loud with the eagerness for a party, I couldn't help but stare at the dogs that still helped put the various selection of foods on the table. I sipped my ale and realized that the sight of dogs on their hind legs, carrying anything around in their fore legs was just the freakiest thing I'd ever seen. Given how they were taller than me when they stood like that as well, I felt I was justified in my belief that they were unusual.

The food that was set before us was a strange meal for the dwarves but right at home with what I expected of Beorn from Gandalf's tales. The funny thing as well, I was acquainted with a lot of what was on the table because of the more unusual hobbits, who didn't enjoy the taste or texture of meat. Everything on the table was originally a selection from Beorn's garden but it wasn't raw or simply made like the elves first served to us back in Rivendell. The vegetables were made into delicacies that had rich looking colors and textures.

On the outer most ring were plates and bowls with a various assortment of salads and soups. Beorn took the largest of the bowls in front of him for himself and reached out for a smaller one, offering it for me to take. My mouth watered I was so hungry and I accepted it without thought, setting it down and looking around for a fork or spoon. Though Thorin was frowning, he eagerly dove into his food and ale while the company around us seemed ill at ease with the thought of there being no meat.

I watched as Beorn reached back behind him and threw a bundle of utensils for the company to use while he specifically offered Thorin and I a set that was elegantly made. Now finally able to dig into the beginnings of my meal, I delighted in the look of the yellow and orange soup and spooned it before tasting. I groaned because of how unexpectedly delicious it tasted with its unexpected blend of ingredients. I hadn't a clue what it was when I first let it wash over my tongue but the taste of fresh cantaloupe and orange juice was so sharp, chilled and light. In my delight for the dish, I leaned up from my spot to see if Thorin or the brothers had a similar dish near them.

When I couldn't find one that looked similar, I excused myself politely and offered the bowl to Thorin, "You need to try this. It's delicious!"

Beorn laughed at the compliment and watched as Thorin reached over for the bowl, giving a long glare to Beorn as he slowly dipped his spoon into the soup to try it. He did not comment on its taste but from the way his eyes glanced at me, I knew that he enjoyed it. Without a thought, he offered up his soup to me across the table and I took it with ease, tasting it as a thick tomato based soup. "Oh wow, this is even better than the cantaloupe one!"

Thorin quickly smirked up at Beorn before he casually went back to eating the soup that I gave to him. As I wanted a more solid dish next, I looked at the outer ring of food and selected a salad that practically dazzled my mouth. I could taste bits of celery, barley, with a hint of mint. In the salad was also thin apple slices and I eagerly bit into one and groaned at the perfect taste of it. The dwarves didn't seem to appreciate what they were eating like I did and I wanted to try a bit of everything though I knew it would be rude.

Next to me, Dwalin picked at his salad and I eyed it hungrily since it was different than my own. Once he caught the sight of my eyes watching, he sighed at the very look that I was giving him and offered up the plate for me to try a bite of it. "Oh, that's amazing!"

He didn't bother holding onto the dish after that, just giving it up and going for something else that seemed to look edible. Why Dwalin seemed to complain about his salad, I would never know. The fresh taste of apples, spinach, and walnuts was delicious and with the hint of honey and lemon, it was something that I would need to write down so that I could remember it for my own recipes back home.

Once the outer ring of food was eaten and the bowls were set aside for the animals to take from us at their leisure, the inner most ring was exposed to us and already there were plates and bowls missing from it. I reached out for something that looked to be three stuffed rolls of bread and a bowl next to it. The bread was actually stuffed full and baked with a mixture of beans, cheese, and a tomato based mixture while the bowl was filled with a type of chili that had a brown tinge to it rather than a red one.

"What's in this?"

I asked Beorn, who drank from his large tankard before looking down into my bowl. "That's my chili; made with tomatoes, onions, chickpeas, peppers, and chocolate."

I raised my eyebrow at the addition of the strange ingredient because I had never heard of someone putting chocolate into such a dish but I was a hobbit and Beorn looked on eagerly as I readied to try it.

Oh, by Yavanna...

Beorn burst out into laughter at the look on my face but it was simply the best chili I ever ate in my entire life! I had eaten so many of them in the past and all made so very differently but this one. Oh, by the Valar, this one! I eagerly cleaned the bowl and ate the baked bread, reaching into the pile of food for pieces of bread spread with honey.

Throughout dinner, my drinking bowl remained full and I drunk freely without even realizing that much like the rest of the company, I was getting fairly drunk.

Sometime during the main course and my fourth (?) bowl of ale, the company took to telling stories since they needed something to do in between forced bites of food. Beorn and I ate eagerly but he didn't seem to pay much attention to the stories that the dwarves told since they all involved gems and riches that he didn't seem to take much interest in. Instead, the two of us ended up more than once exchanging bowls of food and talking about recipes and which ones we thought were best for the season.

He had a great love of honey, which was why he was in the possession of so many bee hives and I told him of my great love of mushrooms, to which he responded that the last hobbits that came through gave him a great many recipes for how to cook mushrooms. Once the stories went away from the topic of food, he told me all about random events of the various times he held feasts for his fellow skin-changers that could sometimes be found wandering around the wood.

"Wait, do your lot still not like the elves?"

By now most of our group was thoroughly drunk and while I had slowed down, I was still a little faded around the edges and very much too quick to giggle. At the mention of the rivalry between the dwarves and elves, I giggled at the obviousness of the question and took another deep swig of my ale. At the same time, the dwarves grumbled and hollered about their distaste of the beautiful creatures, sloshing their drinks about roughly while Dori fell off his seat in a fit of laughter.

"You'll love this one then; so there was this one time that we held a summer feast. Brings all of the clan together for a few days."

"Youurre acthully part ufa clan?"

Kili, who was pretty drunk questioned out in a slur of words, his voice doing the strangest things against my flesh that nevertheless got me to giggle. Beorn just slammed down his tankard in response to the question, "Of course I am! We bears are proud and very clan-like! We just don't like to be around each other all the time. Once a year!"

"What do you do once a year?"

From down the table, Gandalf shook his head, already looking to know where the story was going, while the rest of us listened on eagerly, "Well, we normally get together about this time to ma-" Beorn stopped, his hair wild and his eyes widening before he looked at me and a red color spread across his cheeks. All of us hung on the edge of his story, leaning close and wondering just what he was going to say.

Beorn hid his face behind his paw of a hand and made the most unusual noise, a loud 'Urrrhhh!' sound that made me squeak from the strange rumble of sensation. Given the laughter around me, it must have been delightful for the rest of the company but in an attempt to save his dignity, Beorn gulped down his drink quickly.

"Talk . We just talk. But the best of our women only talk with the most daring of us so every year they make up a new challenge. This must have happened many, many years ago now and it was the first to actually involve our neighbors in Mirkwood."

Every so often, he crammed bites of food into his mouth, spearing bread with globs of honey, "So, me and like, five others went up to the elf kingdom that's there and each of us shat into a sack," I spat out my drink in the unfortunate direction of Dwalin, "I know! Great stuff that was! So we went and set it down by the entrance while one of us roared loud enough to get their attention."

"What happened?"

Fili stared wide eyed up at Beorn as if the skin-changer was his newest hero and even Thorin, who was less than polite to our host looked as if he wanted to offer the man a drink. "The obvious happened, lad! They thought a great monster had come to their lands and, we didn't think we'd get so lucky, but the Elven King himself came out to investigate."

Beorn edged closer to the table now, "So the Elven King, having no idea what was in the sack bent down to pick up whatever it was. Probably thought it was one a youngin' of ours or something, I dunno. But he bent down to pick it up and..." He trailed off, waiting for us to ask him what happened next. I sat there with the most horrified expression on my face because he was literally ruining my perfect image of elves!

"And?" Thorin asked, intrigued enough to actually play along with the story.

"You all ever see an Elven King hurl his supper all over the front porch to his own kingdom?"

Everyone was silent in the room for a long moment until Kili hiccuped and slammed his bowl down, "I fuuckin' louve you, man. Youurreeee a hero!"

Despite how horrified I was by the actual story itself, the way that Kili delivered his final seal on the story broke everyone from their silence, the room erupting in a laughter that was near deafening to my ears. The entirety of their voices shook over me and I had to cover my ears to try and alleviate the mess of sensations that relentlessly pounded against my skin until their laughter started to die away.

"Needless to say, we got to so much talking when we get back."

Given the nature of the story, I was made aware of what Beorn exactly meant by 'talking' and I shook my head at the notion that they decided to show their worthiness by how well they could make the Elven King throw up. Loosened up with drink, the dwarves were eager to share many of their own tales after that. Beorn seemed most interested in the ones that centered on daring adventures of manly stupidity involving women.

Throughout the ranging array of stories that even had Ori at one point telling everyone of how he tried to woo some dwarf lad, the ale still poured freely for some of the dwarves but at some point, Fili took away Kili's bowl and the younger brother with nothing better to do took to snoozing on the table. Thorin was quietly watching the company while I continued to stuff myself full of foods, much to the amusement of Dwalin and Beorn.

The night was growing more and more quiet, laughter a bit more subdued as the hours passed. The animals once again came to clean away the plates off the table, leaving behind only the ones that still had food on them, and then threw on fresh logs in the nearby fire pit. Fresh flames brightened the room, dancing shadows of the company across the walls of dining hall.

I watched the shadows of Thorin and the other dwarves as they flickered along the back walls of the room, appearing so tall that they almost seemed to be the same size as Beorn's.

After eating so much and drinking more than my usual fill, my head felt heavy and without even realizing it, I began to doze off with my cheek resting against my palm. I heard the light shuffling of things being moved about and opened my eyes to see Dwalin moving plates and my drinking bowl out of my way in case I jolted awake at any point.

With my eyes closed, I heard the sound of the hall and the voices of the dwarves more clearly, fading sensations against my arms, stomach, and cheeks that tickled and poked. In the background of that though, there was something else that was lurking; so faint that I wouldn't have noticed had my eyes been open, it was a wispy sensation of something against the skin of my fingers. So faint a whisper of a voice in the air.

I jolted awake at the sound of Beorn suddenly scrapping his chair back away from the table and leaving us, the resounding slam of the door marking his leave from the dining hall. We all waited for him to reappear but when Gandalf explained that we would not be seeing Beorn again for the rest of the night, the dwarves went back to their drinking.

"I beg you all to remember even in your drunken stupors that we were told not to venture outside this house under any circumstance." With his words of warning, Gandalf excused himself and walked in the direction of the guest hall where the bunk beds and bedrooms were. The rest of the dwarves seemed to take that as a sign to either continue the party or head off to bed themselves. Bofur, Bifur, Bombur, Oin and Gloin decided to stay up and continue eating and drinking to their leisure while Dwalin nodded to Thorin that he would stay as well.

Balin was already heading back, though he stopped when Fili got up from the table so that he could whisper something into his ear. With a quick glance at Kili, who was quietly getting up himself to go to bed, the elder of the brothers went off with Balin to talk about something. Kili didn't bother to hang back and wait, stumbling and grumbling about the still spinning room.

After a glance towards me to silently ask if I was heading to bed as well, Thorin slipped away from the table and yawned quietly before following after his youngest nephew.

Balin and Fili were still talking quietly away from the main group and every so often, I could see Fili nodding or shaking his head about whatever was being said before throwing his hands up. I decided not to wait up to say goodnight to him because it had been a long night and because Fili had his own business at times to worry over. I said my own good nights to everyone else and shuffled my way back to the main guest hall where as soon as I opened my door to my room, Kili was on me.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Huh?"

His eyes still were far from clear and he swayed a little on his feet but at least he wasn't slurring anymore. "Can you do me a favor?"

He repeated and I, always eager to help out whichever way that I could, nodded.

"Do you think that I can borrow the room for the night? You can bunk up with Uncle."

I thought about the request for only half a second and I saw a myriad of emotions pass through Kili's eyes when I failed to respond fast enough. He looked hurt and momentarily overwhelmed and figuring that he was emotional because of the drink, I instantly went to soothe him. My hands rubbed along his arms as I smiled up at him.

"Of course! Just let me get my stuff and I'll get out of your way!"

From the delay in my reply, Kili probably wasn't expecting the answer I gave him from the reaction on his face but I didn't mean to make him so anxious. Never would I think of coming between he and his brother and their need to find some alone time with one another. It was only because I was so tired that I failed to process the words that he spoke to me as easily as I would have any other time.

I gave his arms a quick squeeze before I scurried off to retrieve my vest and jacket, bundling them up tightly before once more going to his side. The look on his face was a little morose and I felt a pang of sympathy for whatever he was going through; it wasn't a common thing in the Shire to come across sad drunks and it was a little interesting to know that Kili was considered among their ranks.

I wanted to cheer him up so I did the only thing I could think of. I leaned up and tried to kiss him but at the last minute, he seemed to snap out of whatever mood he was in and turned his face to the side so that my lips pressed gently to his cheek instead. My eyes blinked in surprise, a tiny pang of rejection spreading so quickly through me that I couldn't help the hurt that shone in my eyes.

He smiled at me and hid his mouth behind his hand, "My breath is really bad right now."

I frowned at the obviousness of his excuse but actually figured it to be the truth when I really thought about it. My own breath must not have been very grand either considering that I drank almost as heavily as Kili did, so I just smiled and nodded, squeezing his arm again before I left the room.

Almost as soon as I left the room though, I was bumping into Fili. His eyes were sharp as he looked down at what I carried in my arms, slowly coming back up to direct that questioning gaze on me. "What's this?"

There was a playful note in his voice, a slight tease to the sensation as it groped me; he seemed intoxicated by my presence, stepping closer until we were backed up against the door frame and his body was flush with mine. I smiled at him as he nuzzled along my neck, kissing and nipping at the skin there as I tried to keep from giggling. "Kili wanted some alone time with you."

I made sure to whisper it so that any other ears couldn't overhear but when Fili tensed, I thought I still shouldn't have said it out loud. He stopped his easy affections, leaning back so that he could look at me and glance back at his brother, who was still in the room behind us.

"Is that so?"

There was something lurking in those blue eyes, a dark tinge of emotion that prickled along the skin of my bottom in a way that was familiar and yet so far removed from immediate memory. Even with such an emotion in his eyes, the rest of his face looked to be carefully schooled into a happy grin and only when I shifted his face to look back at me did he seem to loosen back up.

"I'm already jealous just thinking about it."

Fili laughed at the suggestion, "I'm not. He's been drinking and he performs badly when even the slightest bit tipsy."

His voice pinched pleasantly at me and he kissed me deeply before he let me loose. I said my well wishes and good night's to him and his brother, hoping that the hint of exhaustion was gone from my voice. I slipped around him and pointed to Thorin's door to inform him of where I would be should he need me, watching as he nodded and saw me slip inside Thorin's room nearby.

From behind the sturdy wood of Thorin's door, I heard Fili sigh followed a moment later by a loud slam of the door.

As you can see with my chapter, I didn't agree with Tolkien in Beorn's main source of food. I'm all up for fantasy but how bread, honey, and cream can healthily sustain a man, who can change into a bear, is just a giant pile of rubbish.

I've rounded out Beorn's diet to include healthy vegetarian meals.