Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; parentheses italicized means that it's a message/email and parentheses italicized and underlined is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

Part 17: The Close Call

When he first asked me what I thought about someone smoking, I assumed he was talking about cigarettes. Remembering my uncle's addiction problem with cigarettes, my text discouraged him from continuing to smoke. However, it wasn't cigarettes. He was talking about weed. The drug that gave users a "high" from smoking it. Although some states have legalized weed, I was worried about possible heath problems and possible addiction; so I asked how long he had been smoking. And he said more than 3 years.. Remembering his depression and anxieties, I discouraged him from continuing to smoke. Although he listened to my concerns, he would continue to smoke and something more troubling would come up, something that I'd always remember.

I remember the night that I received this text. I remember the exact conversation. I had just stepped out of the shower and was back in my dorm room, checking my phone for messages from him. His text read:

"I'm gonna be up all night. Not mentally right atm."

"What's on your mind?"

"Everything."

I could tell. He was depressed again..

"Will you share some of it with me?"

"I really just wanna contemplate suicide."

Swallowing hard, I typed back "...Why?"

"No will to live."

"...none at all?"

"Not too sure."

"What about the ones you leave behind?" His family? His friends? Me? Did he consider any of our feelings?

"Don't really care how they feel about it, I guess."

On baited breath, I typed back, "...not even me?"

"Honestly. no. That's just how I feel. I'm just not ok I guess." I didn't care for the latter part of his explanation. That just.. stung.

"...That's so selfish of you.. When you have so many people who care about you.."

"Is it?"

Remembering the pictures he took with his mom on Facebook, I typed back:

"Yes. when you have friends who want to be around you, when you have family who love you. Have you seen how brightly your mom smiles in pictures with you?"

"It's her natural smile. she poses well. Adorable. It's selfish eh? I'm selfish then."

"...You're not considering anyone else but you.. How hurt you'll leave those around you.. Please don't go.."

"You know I'm suicidal, right?"

"... I thought it was getting better."

"No."

"You're strong, you've been getting through it, why give up now?" I didn't know why he was being so stubborn.. Why can't any of my words get through to him at all?

"Why not?

"Because I don't want to see you dead."

"You won't." Was he rubbing it in that I've never met him in real life? That I just wouldn't see his body in real life? Shaking away the horrible thoughts, I had to think quickly.

In many short messages, I quickly typed back the reasons that came to my head at that moment.

"Because you'll always be important to someone.

Because there's so much more to life.

Because you need to survive for those who haven't."

"Both are lies. and the third is even worse." He wasn't listening.. None of it was getting through to him at all.

Then, I could only speak from my heart.

"I don't want you to go."

"Oh?"

"You have it in you to survive this long."

"Not really."

Getting fed up with his "I don't care" attitude, I sent my next text quite rashly.

"Damn it! You do! Why are you just giving up?"

"Why not?"

"Even if I told you why not, you know better than anyone why you need to keep hanging on."

"I don't."

"You do. That's why you've fought for this long."

"I don't."

Knowing that he was starting to slip. That he might just slip away from me, I took a deep breath, and released it, over and over again. Squeezing my hands into fists and releasing over and over, helped to take the shaky edge away. For the first time in my life, I was terrified. I didn't know what to do. What would I do if I lost him? What would happen? What consequences lay in wait in this dark path? Hitting the side of my head, I shook myself out of it. No. Right now, he needs me.. Now more than ever.. I can't focus on myself. I need to be strong for him. Even if he pushes me out.. If I can help to save him.. If my words carry any weight at all in his heart..

"If others won't give up on you, why are you giving up on yourself..?

Dying is such an easy, cowardly way out.

You're really only strong when you prove to others and most importantly yourself wrong by staying alive.

I know my replies seem suckish, but I don't know what exactly to say, I don't know what to do.

.. I just can't stop shaking to type down my thoughts.. I don't want you to go at all!"

He didn't reply that night. And I didn't sleep. No. I couldn't bear to sleep while he was suffering somewhere far off, by himself. I'm helpless once again in this situation.. Laying in bed wide awake, I held onto my phone tightly. Waiting for a buzz, waiting for a reply. Minutes ticked by, hours moved slowly as I waited. Nothing.

Hearing my alarm go off, I turned it off and went to class. My brain took down the notes, while my heart wasn't there. It was still waiting for him.

Around noon time, I went to lunch, where I was able to check my messages. His reply read:

"I'm okay?

Thank you so much."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure."

"But you're ok now?"

"I'm being social to improve my mood but I'm better."

Finally relieved, I put down my phone. Wanting and feeling like I might face-palm my full soup soon, I moved it out of the way to lie my head down. That's great.. He's alright now.. I'm so happy. So happy. Smiling softly, I re-read his message, before writing back a response.

"I think that's great. the best way to go about depression and those types of feelings you've been having lately is to keep yourself busy. Hanging out with people more, attending events, having a job, hobbies.. just keep yourself busy. Life gets better. No matter what you're dealing with. And how awful it may seem, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. And the people in your life that love and care for you so much (including me) are willing to help you reach that light. I care about you so much. There's always something to look forward to in life. Please don't hold back talking to me about whatever it is that's giving you trouble. I'm here."

"Thank you." His newest text read.

Finally feeling the emotional toll it took on my body, I covered my face, set a timer on my phone, and napped in the dining hall.

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!