Chapter 5

"So… what's he like?"

I raise my eyes from a pharmacology book. Ino avoids my gaze and does her best to look preoccupied by the bone diagrams she's studying, but I know her better than this. Curiosity has gotten the best of her this time. For how long has she been fussing over this question in her head?

I shrug, like it's nothing. "He's an okay guy."

"Is he anything like…?"

Ino stops herself from saying his name and I appreciate it. Deep down, I still haven't begun to untangle the mess of my love for Sasuke. I'm reluctant to open that box of shards for fear I might cut myself.

"He'san Uchiha," I say, as if that explains everything. I realize I'm not being forthcoming with my answers and that she wants more from me than these vague, halfhearted affirmations. "But he's not like Sasuke," I concede. Itachi grew up learning to love Konoha, while Sasuke grew up learning to hate Itachi. Ino wouldn't know any of this.

"I see," she says, looking disappointed, but she doesn't push her luck. She twirls a crayon between her fingers and returns to her bones.

I close my eyes and lean back in the chair. The library is quiet at this time of day. Most people are outside, enjoying the very sun that pours through the window and warms my skin. This may well be the last warm day before winter comes. I hate to miss it, but I have to decide the best treatment for Itachi's affliction. After a month in prison, the progress he's made under my care has turned into regression.

My eyes skim over the pages, which I turn one after another. Pharmacology has never been one of my strong suits, truth be told. All these plants, so many combinations, so many effects, both beneficial and adverse… I'm at a loss. I close the book with a definite thud. I might have to ask for help on this one. Would Tsunade-sensei help? A patient is a patient, after all.

"I'm done here," I tell Ino, picking up the book and my bag. "I have to run some errands. I'll see you around?"

Ino nods in assent, too caught up in her own studies to even glance up. She's got a theoretical exam coming up and the stress is starting to get to her judging by the way she nibbles on the end of her pencil.

I walk away from the table and among shelves towards the Medicine section, where I must return my book. There is someone else there when I arrive and the long mane of dark hair looks familiar. Somehow I'm not surprised to run into Akane. I seem to be bumping into her a lot lately. We greet each other as student and teacher and not a look passes between us that would suggest anything more than that.

I put my pharmacology book back on the shelf and a thought crosses my mind. I turn to look at her. She's leafing through a volume as thick as my forearm, seemingly absorbed in it. I don't want to interrupt her, so I wait.

"Yes, Haruno-san?" she asks without lifting her eyes from the pages. There it is, that unnerving shinobi awareness.

"I… was wondering if you might help me out with something," I say. She's a full-fledged medic-nin. She's a Nara. Naras supposedly know a thing or two more about medicine than your standard medic-nin.

She throws me a guarded look. "What is this about?"

"Medicine."

"Shoot," she says.

I hesitate. That's enough to pique her interest. She puts her book down and we file out of the building into the glaring sun. It's always strange to see her in civilian clothes, with her hair down like this. She looks like a competely different person. Her manner, however, doesn't change. Even in civilian clothes, she's still ANBU.

"Have you decided what kind of medic-nin you want to become?" she asks. I'm not sure whether she's genuinely interested or trying to make small talk en route to… wherever it is we're going. By the way, where are we going? It seems I left the library with her, not the other way around.

"Not really. A lot has been going on lately…"

"You shouldn't put your own future aside for anything in the world."

"I'm not. I've just been a bit distracted, that's all. I have been thinking about it. I'd like to be a combat medic-nin, but I don't think I have what it takes, so I'll probably work in the hospital."

"If Tsunade-sama's apprentice doesn't have what it takes for this job, I don't know who does."

"My combat skills are lacking, regardless."

"Your combat skills can be trained to conform."

Reasoning the hell out of anything seems to be a Nara clan trait. There's just no arguing with her, because unlike the men, the Nara women are perseverant. I almost wave the white flag of defeat when we stop in front of a teashop.

"Is this place alright with you?" she asks.

"Sure," I say, and we step inside.

It's small, but empty. We sit at a table by the window and I watch the passers-by while she places the order.

"Now," Akane says as she sits down opposite of me. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

I keep my voice down as I tell her about Itachi's illness and every step I took in treating it up to this point. She listens without interrupting me once, without making any remarks on the medical decisions I had to make. I honestly can't read her expression to ascertain whether or not she agrees, but by the time it's out of my system, I realize it's a relief to finally be able to consult with someone on this. I've been keeping things bottled up for so long, I've forgotten how to let them go.

When I finish, she thinks for a few moments and then says: "I'll mix something up for him and give you the recipe. How is he doing otherwise?"

"You're the head of the surveillance team. Shouldn't you know?" I ask, perhaps unnecesarily harsh. Even so, it doesn't seem to affect her. Does anything ever get under this woman's skin?

"I don't read his mind through those cameras."

I take a sip from my tea, which has been growing cool. "He's… like a tiger in a cage," I say. "He's not used to spending so much time in one place."

She remains quiet at that. Thoughtful. For a moment, she looks almost… sad. I'm so surprised to see through this chink in her armor that I set down my cup before I drop it. I want to ask her if she's alright, but she catches me staring and the steel is back under her skin in the blink of an eye.

"How did you know what really happened that night?" I ask.

She crosses her arms and leans back in her chair. I can tell by it that she's reluctant to talk about it. I can be perseverant, too, though.

"Trust only takes you so far. You went beyond that when you gave him copies of classified documents, like my personal file. You must have known the truth." I'm starting to sound angry, which I am. Whatever the reason, she had no right to give him those documents. She knows it and I know it.

"You defected with a stolen Bingo book," she points out. I'm caught off guard. I'd forgotten about that. She must have read the report I gave Tsunade-sensei if she knows. Bingo Books offer sensitive information about a village's targets. If one fell into the wrong hands, the outcome may even be war between nations.

"You haven't answered my question."

Akane measures me with her grey eyes for a long time and I can't help but wonder what battle wages within her. Why is it that every time you ask someone for the truth, they look at you as if you're asking for the moon?

"I was on patrol duty that night," she says. "When something didn't seem quite right at the Uchiha compound, I went to investigate. I was the one who called it in."

"Sasuke-kun?" His name is out of my mouth before I can stop it.

"I found him unconscious, on the street outside his house."

The image of a little dark-haired boy lying on the cold pavement made my heart cringe painfully.

"I picked up on the attacker's trail and followed him. I didn't realize it was Itachi until we'd almost reached the village gate. I tried to stop him, to make him explain what I'd just seen. In the end, he showed me. Everything."

It's like a great darkness hangs from that final word. I try to wrap my mind around it, but it's too horrible to contemplate. Itachi shared his pain with Akane all those years ago. This simple truth goes a long way in reflecting just how close they were back then. A seed of doubt has been planted within my heart. I can't help it. I almost wonder why I didn't see it sooner. Bitterness fills my mouth as I drink the last of my tea. I've had enough truth for one day.

"Thank you, Akane-san," I say.

Then I pick up my things, leave the money on the table and leave.