Stiles

I don't understand why this never works. All this time I spent being crazy about Allison…and now she's gone. Because of me. I don't understand how I manage to screw everything up, every single time. It makes me wonder what would've happened if I was the one who got bit, instead of Scott.

…Everything would be so different.

The twins got separated, Allison is simply gone and everyone hates me because I'm the one who caused all this. It's everyone's first day being back at school and I will vomit the next time Lydia walks by me.

She was always a bystander. Someone I never really thought twice about…until now. Now I cant get even look her in the eye. She lost her best friend because of me.

I walk in to English and Scott is sitting with his head down and hood over his head. I avoid sitting behind him and instead sit all the way in the back. We've all been gone too long from school so all I plan on doing is just catching up on homework for the rest of this week.

"Hey, you disappeared on me. Where have you been?" asks the girl who doesn't know that I just killed my best friend's girlfriend.

"Around." She needs to stay away and I plan on making sure she does.

"Oh, uhm did I say something? You can sit with your friend if you want, I can sit back here." She's clinging on to her binder for dear life and all I can focus on is her hair falling on top of her fingertips.

"No, I just don't feel well, you should probably stay away. Highly contagious." I start fake coughing and try to shoo her away.

"I have some advil if you need it." She starts digging in her backpack. What is it going to take, Autumn?

"What are you, my mom? I already had medicine, thanks, I'm not stupid." I roll my eyes the best that I can without my voice cracking and she slowly starts walking away.

I feel like a douche but tell me that it wasn't the right thing to do. I hate all this. I hate me.

The teacher gives me homework from hell that will take me at least a week to catch up on and I can't stop thinking about Autumn.

Hours pass before I'm even able to lift my head from my endless assignments.

English is the worst, Autumn is everything that I could have and everything that I can't have.

On my way out, she gives me a small binder.

"I didn't mean to get you upset, I photocopied some of the notes from when you missed just in case if you needed them. The book does a lousy job at explaining the stuff. I won't bother you again." She says and starts to walk away.

Why, Autumn, why? Just leave me alone and let me be an asshole.

"Hey, look I'm sorry I was just a little pissed off yesterday cause of all this shit I have to do. Nothing personal. This is awesome, seriously."

She gives me a hint of a smile and walks away. I probably ruined any chance I had and it's probably for the best.

After school I gather all my notes and assignments and make my way to the one spot where even Scott can't track me down.

He's been checking up on me now and then to make sure that I'm still no longer possessed but I know he's just doing it cause he's a nice guy. He probably hates me just like everyone else.

I park my newly salvaged jeep next to the lake and sit down in the beat up bench. I don't know how no ones discovered this spot. It's just outside of town with a really tiny pond that popped up cause of the excess rain. But it's gorgeous. And it's exactly what I need.

I spread out all my assignments on the table and prioritize which ones I need to do first. Hours pass and I hear a car drive by. The car stops and backs up to where I'm sitting.

I don't fucking believe it.

"What are you doing here?" Autumn asks.

What is this?! A fucking movie?! What the hell is she doing here?

"Better question is, what are you doing here? No, Why are you here? Its nightfall, you shouldn't be out." I ask and realize just now that indeed, it is nighttime. I should probably check my phone.

"I was taking a small drive, trying to get familiar with the town and all. What about you? This your secret hiding spot?" She asks and gets out of her car.

Great.

"No, I was just gonna meet someone and figured I'd get some work done." She knew I was lying out of my ass. I had empty red bull cans and shit ton of snacks everywhere.

"Riiiiighhttt, well let me know if you got stood up, maybe I can help with all this homework." She says and leans on the table. Her jeans are doing me no favors in staying away.

"Uhh, I think I'm okay. Just clearing my head." I say and keep my head low.

"I know it's not my place but… what happened? I mean all three of your seats were empty for 2 weeks and then Allison- never mind, I shouldn't have said anything. I'll see you later." She starts walking away and I can tell she's got a million things running across her mind.

Maybe it should stay that way. But I can't help myself.

"If you promise not to ask any questions about Allison, I'd love it if you'd stay and help. Math is not my best friend right now." I offer a smile and I'm partially lying. Math has always been my friend. But she doesn't need to know that.

"Sure. What do you need help with?" She asks and suddenly my mind goes to the sleepless nights and baggy eyes but I realize her question is about the math book open in front of us.

Did she always smell this good?