Chapter Twenty-Three
"PROTECT THE QUEEN!" A voice cries out before succumbing to a brutal coughing fit as the suffocating clouds of thick, black smoke fill the room choking out all the air around them.
Queen Historia stumbles to her feet, small hands wrapped around her predecessor's hunched form as she squints through the thickening fog of smoke, intent on finding an escape route. There is a deafening roar as a heavy beam crashes down from the ceiling, narrowly missing them as they scamper out of the way.
The Queen freezes as she notices a second flaming missile wheeze past, burying itself within an amber curtain rack which immediately bursts into flames before clattering to the floor. Tears begin to sting her eyes as she shields her face with the hem of her once-white apron.
"It's the scouts, we're being ambushed!" Someone cries out above the din of crashing beams and thunderous footsteps.
A pair of strong hands shepherds them towards the circular stairwell as the flames swell with a mighty roar. A large body knocks the petite blonde to the ground, pinning her down fast against the ground as long, thin fingers tighten around her slender neck.
"Stop it! There's no time. We have to get out of here!" Someone barks to no avail. Her attacker persists, tightening the grip around the Queen's neck causing her eyes to bulge ever so slightly as she pants and wheezes for air.
"You! You bastard! You led your demons here to finish me and my children off!" Queen Portia shrieks as Queen Historia struggles to free her neck from her crazed predecessor's clutches.
"They…need…to see me," Queen Historia chokes out as tears streak down her now-bloodshot eyes. The impostor is about to protest when a sudden gust of smoke billows into the dark stairwell, engulfing her and her allies in a searing wave.
The blonde fights to her feet as the imposter falls off her stomach, clutching her mouth tightly to contain a violent coughing fit. Taking advantage of the commotion, the petite queen vanishes into the smoke, retreating back into the burning room. Blue eyes scan the flames warily as she desperately tries to make out a safe path to the window. Just then, the familiar groan of omnidirectional wires reaches her. She turns in time to watch a familiar silhouette block the window.
"There's no one here!" The silhouette calls out over its shoulder after scanning the room quickly.
"Connie?!" Historia cries out as she recognizes her bald classmate's lively voice. No sooner had words left her mouth did she double over coughing and choking against the gust of smoke burning a path with down her esophagus. She falls to her knees, desperately gasping for air as the silhouette descends from its perch on the windowsill approaching her with quick, urgent steps. She lets out a deep sigh when he finally reaches her, turning her face ever so slightly until their eyes met. She opens and closes her mouth several times as if to say something before slumping against his chest.
"Huh? Historia? What are you doing here dressed like that?" Darkness claims her as Connie Springer's wide hazel eyes peer down at her in alarm.
"Welcome back," Ymir greets with a warm smile that reaches her eyes. Historia freezes, blue eyes wary and suspicious as the taller girl shifts to make room for her on the fallen log. "It's alright. I promise, I'm not gonna hurt ya. Not like the last time."
"Is this real?" Historia's words echo eerily in the vast cavern around them. "Am I…am I dead?" Ymir shrugs, leaning back to stare up at the piercing darkness hanging above them drearily.
"Who knows," the titan-shifter offers at last turning to face her. "And honestly, who even cares? As long as I get to see you again." She chuckles, rubbing the back of her neck with a sheepish grin as a light blush tints her freckled cheeks.
"I miss you," Historia admits with a wistful smile as she settles down beside her.
"Only because he's betrayed you." The blonde purses her lips, not daring to say anything as she leans into Ymir's palm instead. She freezes as Ymir's frosty fingers gently stroke the side of her tear-stained cheeks.
"You're freezing!" Historia cries out taken aback.
"I know." Ymir nods, lifting her palm to eye-level examining it as if for the first time as she flexes her fingers experimentally. "I can still move my arms and legs, but I haven't been able to feel anything for some time now."
"Does this mean that you're dead?!" Tears sting the blonde's eyes when the freckled girl does not immediately respond. "No! You can't be!"
"Why not?" The titan-shifter wonders tilting her head ever so slightly to the side as she considers the now-sobbing queen. "Titans aren't completely immortal after all. Everything has a weak spot."
"You knew, didn't you? You knew that if you went with them alone, that they would kill you for what you did to their friend."
"Maybe," Ymir shrugs. "But who knows. Even I'm still not quite sure why I chose to leave you behind. Maybe I wanted to atone for my sins. Maybe part of me would rather give you up than risk letting you see me for what I really am."
"But I did see who you were. And I love you! No matter what. I told you, didn't I? That I would always be your ally! No matter what!"
"And yet, here you are," Ymir chuckles dryly shaking her head. The blonde's eyes widen at this.
"What, what do you mean?" Historia balks leaning away.
"The only reason you're seeing me now is because you're blocking him out with all your might."
"That's not true!" Small fists clench angrily as the blonde rises to her feet, shoulders trembling with anger as she turns away, hugging herself. Ymir's dark eyes soften as her smirk broadens into a knowing smile.
"Whatever you say, your majesty," Ymir shrugs, returning her attention to the crackling fire between them.
"Don't," Historia sighs settling down on the ground beside Ymir's log. "Don't call me that."
"Funny, most girls would kill to be a queen."
"Why? What's the point?! Being queen keeps me from the people I actually love—things I actually care about."
"Like him?"
"Like you!" Historia snaps digging her elbow into the taller girl's shin. Ymir adjusts her trousers but doesn't otherwise react or acknowledge the contact, instead rising to her feet with a weary sigh.
"Well then I'm glad, I'm glad that you being queen is keeping you from my side."
"Why? Why don't you want me beside you?" Ymir returns to her place on the log, staring blankly into the fire for several moments without speaking.
"I know you've been through some shit, but believe me when I tell you that life beyond the walls isn't something I would inflict on my worst enemy. Honestly, it's a miracle the scouts survived all those expeditions beyond the walls."
"You remember don't you?" Historia gasps turning to rest her chin on the taller girl's knee. "What was it like? Beyond the walls?"
"When I ate that kid—Reiner and Bertholdt's friend—I remembered my life before the walls. Not much at first, just bits and pieces. Enough to make me realize what a crap life I'd lived." The flames of the campfire flicker gently, casting a shadow over Ymir's hardened visage as she strokes the gleaming blade of Connie's hunting knife. "When I finally scaled the wall, I was so torn, so confused that I began to look for meaning in the most meaningless things. After a while, the memories began to fade. Ironically, this was also when things finally began to make sense. The few memories that survived became sharper and clearer. So clear that there were days when it hurt so much that I couldn't bring myself to stand up. Couldn't convince myself to go on living. And then, one day, it hit me. Just because I wasn't supposed to survive, didn't mean that I didn't deserve to live."
"Was that how you decided to carry on? To live for yourself? To only care about your own existence?" Ymir sighs once more before guiding the blonde to her feet.
"I did things that I'm not proud of," Ymir confesses as Historia's palm presses gently against the small of her back, pulling her flush against her petite frame. "Things I wish I could take back. Regret is cruel but so is death."
"No one's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Even I seriously considered eating Eren just to make my father happy."
"You don't understand." The titan-shifter grabs her shoulders and shakes her slightly as their eyes meet. "This wasn't some accident or act of desperation. Most of my crimes were deliberate and callous."
"Even so, I know…in my heart…that you are a good person…" Historia trails off as she reaches to stroke the side of the taller girl's cheek with an affectionate smile. She winces ever so slightly as the chill emanating from the titan-shifter nips at her fingers.
"How?" Ymir wonders, unshed tears brimming against her brown eyes. "After all that…how? How can you still care for me? How can you still love me?"
"Because…because…" the blonde's breath hitches as her eyes widen with the realization that for the second time in her life, she did not know the answer to this question.
The pressure in her chest is the first thing she notices when she finally begins to stir. The softness of the warm mattress beneath her is exactly as she had always wished growing up in her grandparents' farm. Her eyelids flutter ever so slightly as she turns away, shielding her face from the sun's soothing rays. Judging by the heat of the sun's radiance, it is sometime in the afternoon.
Her fingers stroke and knead the soft feather pillows cradling her head as she inhales the soothing scent of lavender. She freezes when she discerns the familiar rhythm of his breathing above the pleasant chirping of birds. Tears of anger spill down her cheeks as the events of that ill-fated encounter with her predecessor come screeching back. Her fists begin to tremble violently against the sheets beneath her. Squeezing her eyes, she forces herself into a sitting position with some difficulty, ripping the covers off with a sudden snarl as she surveys the room for any sign of the pint-sized Captain.
Blue eyes blink in bemusement when they find the room completely empty. She strains her ears for any signs of retreating footsteps and immediately detects the muffled footfalls on the other side of her bedchamber doors. From the corner of her eye, she notices movement and turns in time to see the doorknob turning gently. Kicking off the covers, she dashes forward, snatching the doorknob with one hand and ripping the door ajar.
"Get back here," she calls after his retreating back. To her dismay, her voice comes out in a pathetically hoarse whisper that barely reaches her own ears. Gritting her teeth, she marches after him, reaching out to snatch him by the sleeve of his coat. A savage grin twists her lips as she takes in the stunned expression on his normally-stoic visage. He stumbles badly and begins to fall sideways prompting her to reach out and grab him by the collar of his coat, holding him firmly in place as she bears down at him.
"Rest, we'll talk later." Anger twists her eyebrows as she moves to shove him into the nearest wall. He plants his feet firmly beneath them causing her to lose her balance instead. A large hand immediately shoots out, catching her by the breast as the other sweeps her feet from beneath her.
"You're a monster. Let go of me," she croaks as he presses her against his chest. "Do you hear me? A monster!"
He easily carries her back towards her chambers, pausing briefly to shut the door behind them before returning her to her bed. She reluctantly releases the front of his coat as her back sinks into the soft mattress, moving her forearm instead to shield her sobbing face. The pressure in her chest swells as she feels his weight dip the mattress beside her. When he reaches out for her, she smacks his hand away with a fierce growl, shooting him a baleful look through the gap in her fingers.
"Go away!" A small sigh escapes her as their eyes meet. A shadow crosses his boyish features, highlighting the dark circles around his dark blue eyes. He slowly rises to leave, his features schooled into an inscrutable mask of serenity. She turns to watch him and immediately wishes she hadn't as their eyes meet once more. Regret gnaws at her as she recognizes the sheen of dejection brimming beneath.
"Thank you." It takes her several seconds to recognize the low wheezing sound of her own shocked voice as he calmly crosses the threshold, pulling the door closed behind him with a soft click.
Hours later, his words echo endlessly within the depths of her mind as she tosses and turns with an anguished grimace.
What did he mean? Did he mean to say sorry but instead say 'thank you'? No. That doesn't make any sense. But then again, why would he be thanking me after what I said to him?
"Levi Ackermann will come through them doors tonight. I know because I raised him to hunt down anyone who threatens his existence."
What? Why? Of all the things to think about, why do I keep coming back to Kenny's words that night? How is that even relevant right now? Sometime around midnight, if finally hits her with enough force to finally dispel any notions of her falling asleep.
You are my greatest love… I know this now
"What on earth were you thinking meeting with that impostor secretly?!" Dhalis Zachary fumes as he slams his palm against the sturdy mahogany surface of his desk. The conference winces collectively as all eyes turn towards the petite queen staring resolutely ahead seemingly unfazed.
"I was thinking that I could prevent a civil war by reasoning with her." The Queen replies softly after some time much to the chagrin of the frustrated Commander-in-Chief.
"Did it work?" Commander Pyxis wonders quietly as she turns to face him. "Did she see reason?" Although there is some scattered laughter at this, it is clear from the eccentric commander's eyes that he fully expected a serious answer. Queen Historia turns away, biting the corner of her lips.
"I'm not sure. The scouts attacked just as we were beginning to find mutual ground." The accusatory tone of her voice is followed by a pregnant pause as all eyes shift to Commander Dawk's stoic form. The military police Commander opens his mouth to speak when the Queen clears her throat, indicating her intent to continue speaking. "But, with that being said, I've been thinking about it for some time and I realize now that perhaps…it's better this way."
"What do you mean?" Premiere Zachary inquires pinching the bridge of his nose with a heavy frown.
"Think about it, any truce Portia and her allies would have agreed to could very well end up delaying the inevitable," Historia states bluntly. "For all we know, they could even pretend to lay down their weapons only to pick them up again once the Scouts left for their expedition to reclaim Wall Maria."
Scattered murmurs of agreement fill the room as Commander Pyxis silently takes a swig from his flask before returning it to its place in his inner pocket.
"You look like you don't really believe that," Premier Zachary opines as he watches her clenched fists carefully.
"I don't. Not really, after all few things in life are ever certain," the Queen admits with a resolute frown. "But life's not about certainties. It's about understanding and minimizing risks each and every day."
"I see," Commander Pyxis chuckles. "Because Queen Portia's loyalty and continued corporation could never be certain, it was better to eliminate her and her children once and for all. As long as her family survives, disgruntled nobles will always have a rallying figure for their cause. I must say, while it is somewhat callous, your logic is sound. Unfortunately for us, our enemies have not exactly given us the luxury of allowing any unnecessary risks."
"Still," Commander Dawk grumbles through clenched teeth. "By destroying King Fritz's family haven't we essentially made them martyrs?"
"What are martyrs compared to an angel?" Commander Pyxis shoots back with a dismissive chuckle. "Never underestimate the power of blind hope. Enough people saw her land the killing blow that saved Orvud from devastation. Her association with the military alone has caused an unprecedented surge in trainee enlistments—far greater than the one we experienced five years ago after the fall of Wall Maria. Or so I'm told."
"That's right," Premier Zachary mutters begrudgingly. "Her presence in Stohess alone has attracted an outpouring of funds and support from some of the wealthiest guilds in the kingdom. Guilds that were once hard-pressed to donate to any cause that didn't directly benefit them."
"Still," Commander Dawk presses stubbornly. "How far are we going to press our luck? The people can only endure so much before revolting. That is exactly what happened to our predecessors."
"I agree," Historia chimes in with a nod. "Our current situation is too delicate to be left in my hands."
"What are you saying?" Commander Pyxis asks watching her from over the tip of his interlocked fingers. "Do you mean to step down as queen?"
"No," Historia replies. "When I accepted this role I did so for extremely selfish reasons. I knew that then, even though I didn't want to admit it. Now, I know…I know that I am not nearly wise enough to see what must be done. Not nearly brave enough to do what is necessary to preserve peace within these walls. And not nearly strong enough to live with the consequences of that peace. I know all that now. And even though, deep down inside I am ashamed and disappointed in myself, part of me is relieved and grateful to know that my former comrades will always step up to make up for my shortcomings. Which is why…which is why…I have decided to step back and act as a symbol for our new regime."
Stunned silence follows her words as the blonde resolutely bows her head, folding her arms meekly over her lap. Nervous glances pass between the council members as the chatter swells to a deafening din. Premier Zachary bangs his palm on the table several times, finally restoring order to the room before clearing his throat as he prepares to address the Queen.
"Are you sure about this?" Queen Historia nods. "You do realize that if we go through with this, it might be impossible to reverse it."
"I understand," Historia insists, turning to meet his eyes. "This was not a decision that I reached overnight. I have been thinking about it ever since Queen Portia's death."
"Very well," Premier Zachary sighs. "If that is your wish, we will do everything in our power to honor it."
"Thank you." The blonde bows. "In exchange, I will do everything in my power to strengthen the people's opinion of the military."
"Interesting," Commander Pyxis muses with an amused chuckle. "We overthrow one puppet regime to install another."
"I agree with the Queen," Commander Dawk declares. "It's the best way of making this work. As long as we keep up appearances, the people will be content and will not revolt. However, I don't think it would be wise to see this as a permanent solution. When the time is right, I firmly believe that the Queen's powers should be restored completely."
"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" Commander Ervin says finally breaking his silence as he meets his fellow Commander's gaze.
"I am." Nile Dawk nods. "The powers of the Founding Titan must eventually be restored to the Reiss family. Commander Smith's features harden at this as he considers his friend's words.
"We're getting ahead of ourselves," Premier Zachary sighs. "Depending on whatever secrets Dr. Jaeger left behind, that may not be necessary." He turns to face the Queen as he adds. "Your efforts will be greatly appreciated. Let us know if you need any help with that."
"Understood."
"Now, about the Portia incident, what are we going to tell the public?" Commander Pyxis asks shifting to face the Premier. "Rumors of military policemen clashing with bandits are already spreading like wildfire. If we act quickly, we can be able to fan or quell those flames."
"I would recommend that we tell them the truth," Historia opines. "Lying about it would only make it seem like we did something wrong."
"I agree," Commander Dawk offers. "Owning up to it will show the people that we are determined to avoid the same mistakes the prior regime made while sending a message to any other nobles who might be tempted to try something similar."
"Speaking of nobles," Commander Pyxis interjects. "What are we going to do about Judge Schaeffer and her allies? We have no concrete evidence corroborating Portia's version of what happened. However, my gut tells me that we'd be foolish to ignore those opportunists."
"That may be," Premiere Zachary says leaning back in his chair with a triumphant smirk. "However, the deal she struck with Commander Ervin and I can be rescinded based on their failure to turn over the former queen and her supporters as promised. The evidence against them might not be as strong as what we have on Sannes and company, but it should be enough to make life miserable for them for the foreseeable future."
"Very well, so it's decided then." The relief in the Garrison Commander's voice is evident as he empties the contents of his flask into his mouth.
"In that case, if that is all I suppose it's time to adjourn this meeting," Premier Zachary announces as he rises to his feet. The other officers gathered imitate him, each dipping his head into a respectful bow in the Queen's direction before departing.
"Commander Ervin, could I talk to you alone?" The blond scout halts at the queen's words. Historia turns to watch him as he reclaims his seat across from her.
"How are you feeling?" He asks once the door shuts firmly behind Premiere Zachary, leaving the pair of them alone in silence. "Your voice seems to have improved significantly since the incident."
"I'm doing well, thanks for asking." She purses her lips, fists clenched beneath the table as she forces herself to meet his gaze. "You knew all along, didn't you? How this would turn out?"
"Not really. I simply gambled like I always do…relying on the strength and judgment of my subordinates to save the day," he replies quietly. The Queen shakes her head, blonde locks dancing loose from her ponytail, coming to rest on either side of her heart-shaped visage.
"I wasn't talking about Queen Portia."
"I know," he sighs rising to his feet. "You were talking about Levi weren't you?"
"That day in Orvud, you could have pulled me aside and ordered me to become queen," she pauses, blue eyes narrowed suspiciously as she finally meets his gaze. "As my commander, I would have had no choice but to obey. So…why didn't you?"
"I think you already know the answer to that question." She leans back in her chair, chest heaving with the rumblings of a soft cynical chuckle as she squeezes her eyes shut in frustration.
"I think it's high time you told me how you managed to force Captain Levi to join the Survey Corps."
She watches as Ervin Smith rises from his chair, turning as if to walk away before reaching out instead to pour out a glass of water. When he holds it out to her, she accepts it without thinking, cradling it idly as she watches him pour out a second cup for himself. He lifts the glass to his lips and pauses, staring off into the distance briefly before catching himself and tipping the glass towards his waiting mouth.
"Nile and I had been a lot closer back then," he begins as he lowers his cup from his mouth with a contemplative frown. "He had just gotten promoted and was eager to impress his superiors at any cost. Even if it meant picking my brain for clues every now and then. One day he told me about a gang of hoodlums using ODM gear to rob greedy merchants and corrupt MPs. Naturally, I became intrigued and agreed to help him catch these criminals. Within days of investigating, I began to hear whispers of Levi's name in bars and brothels. Even some MPs seemed terrified of him when they spoke of him. But what really struck me as odd was how someone so notorious still managed to elude capture given all the information the MPs had about him. Even more alarming was the fact that his heists seemed to become more and more audacious as time went on."
Queen Historia starts ever so slightly when she finally notices the pressure of her vice-like grip on her cup. Without realizing it, she had been leaning against the wooden conference table, hanging on to the Commander's every word. Gently setting it aside, she returns her attention to studying the shadows dancing across Commander Ervin's face.
"When I recruited him, there were two others with him—Farlan Church and Isabelle Magnolia."
"I've heard about her," Historia mutters in spite of herself, earning a bewildered look from the Commander. "Petra mentioned her in her diary—although it didn't seem like she ever learned more about her relationship with the Captain. I don't think he's ever spoken about her with anyone. I can only imagine the type of pain he must have been in when he lost her…or rather them."
"From what I understood those two were the only family he had left in the world and he seemed to cherish them both equally." She turns to face him but frowns when she finds herself staring at the back of his neck instead, his broad shoulders slumped heavily as he stares at the cup in his hand.
"I see…" Historia sighs, rising to her feet as she shakes her head in disgust. "Was it before or after he lost them that he turned to you?"
"I think…" Ervin Smith pauses as he finally turns to give her a rueful frown. "You already know the answer to that question."
"I see…" she repeats dully, shoulders slumped in defeat as she moves to watch the sinking sun through the nearest window. "Back then in the carriage, when I asked for him in exchange for agreeing to be queen, you knew that he would never completely be mine. At least not while you are alive."
"It was a dirty trick," the Commander admits with a sad smile. "I'd apologize but I'm not sorry that it worked. As much as I care for him, I care too much about the fate of humanity to let him jeopardize in any way."
"Even at the cost of his own happiness?"
"Yes, even then."
"I give up," Queen Historia sighs, turning to give him a resolved smile. "He's all yours. It was a mistake to try to take him from you. You understand him better than he understands himself."
"Levi has never been a complicated person, your majesty" Commander Smith informs her bluntly. "He is guarded but compassionate and he despises violence almost as much as he hates bullies. And still, if it is for the sake of his comrades, there is nothing he cannot overcome. No matter how painful or traumatic it might be."
She is reminded of that moment days ago when the Captain had refused to seek the Commander's help with Judge Schaeffer after she had refused to divulge Queen Portia's location. Although it should have been apparent earlier after all that had happened, that moment finally convinced her that there was no order Ervin Smith could give that Levi Ackermann would not carry out. No sin Levi would not commit to realize the callous Commander's dream.
"And so you keep prodding. Testing the limits of his loyalty. Pushing the boundaries of his sanity further and further for the sake of your so-called dream. Even if it means breaking him completely. You will not stop until you've squeezed every last drop of blood from his body." The words came out in a low, violent hiss as she crosses her arms over her chest, blue eyes ablaze with white-hot anger. Commander Ervin stiffens visibly at this as an uncomfortable silence stretches between them.
"He is not as fragile as you'd like to think." He offers at length. His gaze hardens when he notices her tightly clenched fists quivering at her side.
"Do you think I want him to be fragile? I know he is. What sane person wouldn't break after going through all that?!" She barks trembling badly as she resists the urge to grab the Commander by the front of his shirt. "In case you hadn't noticed, he only sleeps for two or three hours a day and he barely eats anything. It's a miracle he hasn't collapsed on the battlefield."
"He can take it."
"And so what if he can? Does that mean that he should?!" She roars slamming her palm unto the table with enough force to knock over her glass of water.
"If he doesn't take it, who else will?" She opens and closes her mouth several times before finally deciding against responding.
Commander Smith dips his head into a low bow before marching out of the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Hope you are enjoying the story. The next chapter will conclude the Never War Arc and resume the anime-canon storyline. I expect the story to end in the next two chapters. Until next time.