TWO THINGS: 1. SORRY FOR THE LACK OF AN UPDATE LAST WEEK- IT WAS MOVE-IN FOR COLLEGE FRESHMEN (STILL CRAZY TO ME THAT I'M AN ACTUAL ADULT NOW LOL).
2. I WON'T BE ABLE TO UPLOAD TWO CHAPTERS AT A TIME ANYMORE BECAUSE I CAN'T WRITE AS MUCH AS I USED TO WITH COLLEGE BEATING ME TO DEATH. STILL, ONCE A WEEK YOU GET A "CHAPPIE" AS I CALLED THEM IN THE DAYS OF MY YOUTH ON WATTPAD.
TRUST ME, LEAN ON ME WAS A ROUGH TIME. THOSE WERE THE INTERESTING DAYS WHEN I WAS 14 AND LEFT THE HOUSE ONCE A WEEK (#VINNIEISNOTAMUSED WILL NEVER DIE). ANYWAY...
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
~5 months before~
A month. That's how long I've waited for word from Dern and I have yet to receive a thing. I'm tired of playing Jonan's games and earning money through simple one-man jobs. I pace back and forth down the main hallway of the Castean. No, I'm heading out to find him. Dern never disappears without assuring me of his safety. He ran off a few times in the beginning, but he always returned within a week. He always made sure I knew he was alive. But this… Something's gone awry. I just know it.
The first place I stop is the very same village he entered to make sure he was captured. He did it to make sure I could escape. He wouldn't know where I went; he wouldn't have any information for them. Surely the Imperials caught on within weeks. Archadians aren't fond of having useless materials hanging around their cells. Dern only has so much time left, if they haven't killed him yet. If they're still using him as bait. I know they'll be waiting; I can't find it in me to care.
I pull the black hood of my heavy black cloak over my head and hurry into the village. People wander through the dirt streets, eyeing me as I pass. I ask only the most socialized people where the sky pirate was taken. The blacksmith, the stablemaster, the general goods salesman. No one knows, shrugging me off with suspicious stares. If they turn me over to the Imperials, all the better. They'll kill Dern if I'm not fast enough to set him free, whether I'm captured or not. Finally, the gruff innkeeper has something to say.
"Ah, yes. The poor lad. Captured because of one affiliation or another." The burly man leans an arm forward on the counter, nodding toward the trio of Imperial guards huddled in the back of the lobby. "Them soldiers were talkin' about a gentleman they took away from here 'bout a month ago."
"Any mentions of where they took him?" I ask, keeping my voice low and my face shielded.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" The innkeeper chuckles, shaking his head when I scoff. "Why're you so interested, girly?"
"A favor for a friend," I reply, staring down at the wooden countertop. "What's it to you?"
"I generally make a profit off information," he shrugs, his voice hardly over a mutter as he leans closer to my face. "So what're you offering?"
"How often do you head out to Archades?" I ask, glancing up at him. He stares back thoughtfully.
"About once every full moon." His chapped lips turn up into a greedy smile. I nod, reaching down into my cloak and pulling a stack of wooden blocks free. The man stares at the pile on his counter.
"Six sandalwood chops for all you know." I nudge the stack toward him. "This'll get you to the higher status shops in Archades. Buy better stock, sell your rooms for a higher price."
"Now that's a deal I can't turn down," he chuckles, taken aback by my offer. "The gentleman? They took 'im to a base outside Archades. Some Imperial setup they got for prisoners less… significant to the public." He leans so close that I can smell the cheap ale on his breath and his voice lowers to a barely-audible snarl. "Now, princess, hand over the rest of them blocks before I raise a holler."
"Ah, so you've seen through my impenetrable disguise," I reply in a sickeningly sweet voice, wrapping my fingers around his collar and jerking him forward so our noses are nearly pressed to each other. "Good job, old man. Unfortunately, I don't have any more chops on me. Wasn't counting on a greedy, grimy innkeep throwing my plans to Hell." I stare daggers into his startled eyes. "Tell you what: you keep your mouth shut or I'll make sure that tongue of yours hits the grave long before you do."
"You wouldn't," he huffs, though he jerks away and straightens, snatching up the sandalwood chops I offered originally. "Take your leave, then."
"Thanks for the tip," I reply, nodding and turning to quickly exit the inn.
The Imperials make no move to follow me, though I see them watching my every move as I briskly pace out of the village. Rather than returning to my cloaked ship, however, I hurry toward a nearby cliffside. Dragging myself up the side of the rock, I stand on the very top, turning to search for an Imperial base. And there it is, a low-set building deep within a shield of heavy forestry. Taking a deep breath, I slide down the towering rock formation and rush toward the base. Dern… I shake my hair out of my face, ducking under a heavy branch as I run. Hang on just a little longer.
The sunlight is warm and bright and, paired with the gentle sea breeze, the weather makes up for the dramatic events of last night. I feel the steady rise and fall of a chest against my cheek and I come to the conclusion that I fell there when Balthier slumped in his sleep. I don't want this to end. But the second I shift to get more blood flow to my stiff leg, it's over. Balthier takes a deep breath, awakened by my movement. I sigh, thinking this must be it. He'll push me away, pretend nothing ever happened, and keep his distance like I know everyone else will.
But instead, I feel a hand brushing the hair from my face absently and another resting on the raised ridge of my hip. I peel my eyes open and stare out at the bright blue sea, the precise color of Jonan's eyes. The only sounds that surround us are the chirps of the birds and the waves crashing against the sandy shore below. The hand resting on Balthier's leg twitches; he realizes I'm awake.
"Sleep well?"
"Decently," I yawn, though I don't move away. Not yet. "You?"
"I've slept worse, I suppose."
I scoff, forcing myself to sit up and face my problems head on, not that there are any here—yet. His green eyes practically glow in the sunlight, a familiar sight I can't place. I suppress the thought and stretch my arms over my head. Before either of us can speak again, the grass crunches behind me.
"Vaan," Balthier huffs, leaning back against the wall. "What are you doing here?"
"Basch told me to look for you," the thief replies, forcing his eyes to skim over me. Way to sour my mood.
"To make sure I didn't kill Balthier, you mean," I grumble, standing and plopping myself back down on the edge of the cliff, hugging my knees to my body. "Well, there he is. Looks like big bad Shera didn't get him."
"Shae…" Vaan sighs, scratching at the back of his head. "It doesn't matter who you are, you know. You can still come with us."
"And what does Ashe think about that?" I bite back. There's a long pause.
"She's beginning to wonder if you were a spy for Vayne all along. That it's no coincidence the Imperials found us so often."
"Exactly."
"… Were you?"
"No," Balthier answers for me, the tips of his boots appearing at my side. His voice is light, teasing. "She's smart, but not that smart."
"Gee, thanks," I sigh, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath of the sea's fresh, salty air.
"Well, anyway, Fran looked ahead and found a little village of hunters and their families at the shore. Ashe wants to head there right away so we can regroup."
"They've already left?" Balthier asks.
"Yeah."
"Sounds like Her Royal Highness," the pirate mutters. There's another pause and then I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Coming, Lady Solidor?"
"Don't you dare," I scoff, shrugging his hand off. My voice isn't nearly as venomous as I wanted it to be.
"It wasn't really a question," Balthier replies smoothly. "I fooled you yet again. Seems to be easy these days. You can't get soft now."
"Soft?" Vaan laughs. "This is the girl who threw the future queen onto the ground without any hesitation."
"I do recall a rather nasty word or two being thrown in there as well. Seems you ran away too early for your manners classes, Shera."
"Shut up."
"I wonder if she can still set a table," Vaan muses.
"With lace napkins and all?"
"For the love of the gods," I snap, standing and pushing past the two.
I don't miss Vaan's victorious cheer and Balthier's chuckle behind me, fighting my own smile. Those two will never fail to win me over with their obnoxious natures, will they? We trek down the hill and then Vaan takes the lead, shouting about this and that while Balthier slings his gun onto his shoulder and strides at my side, speaking in a low voice.
"Trying to skip out on the hardest part, are we?"
"You know me," I breathe. "Always running away."
"So I've heard. I suppose it's time to change that pattern, hm?"
"It's not hurt many so far," I shrug. Balthier stops and I do as well, raising an eyebrow.
"And what should you all do if something happened to the Leading Man?" he asks, pressing the side of his gun to my chest. "I'd need a Leading Lady to replace me. I disapprove of any of the other woman taking the job." I fight a smile, gently clutching the weapon. Before I can reply, Vaan calls to us with his hands cupped around his mouth.
"Hey, lovebirds! We caught up!" Love? I shake my head and pick up the pace, chasing the blonde boy. No, not since Dern.
"Look who's returned," Basch comments, getting patting my shoulder. "I'm glad to see you've stayed loyal."
"I'm on neither side," I remind him. "Just here for personal vendettas and such."
"Right," he nods, but his voice is light, relieved. The man's seen enough betrayal in his lifetime.
"And no one welcomes me," Balthier points out, feigning disappointment. Fran raises an eyebrow at him and he shakes his head. "No, I didn't expect anything from you."
Once we reach the top of the grassy hill, I can see an expanse of beach stretching quite far out. Huts and hunters line the sandy shore, a merchant or two waving their hands around and shouting at their stalls. Vaan and Penelo laugh about something before running off.
"Race you to the water!"
"Hey, no fair! Pen!"
Basch wanders away and Fran heads off to buy more arrows. I take a deep breath, walking by Ashe. She glances at me before turning her gaze back to the water. Finally, feet dragging through the sand, I decide to speak up.
"Listen, I apologize for—"
"Oh!" She trips over something in the sand, caught only by Balthier's lightning quick grasp. Stunned, she stares up at the pirate for a moment before straightening with a huff. She quickly starts to pace away and I fight the annoyance tugging at my growing impatience. Balthier speaks up once she's a few feet away.
"Why the capital?"
Ashe is dead silent for a moment, the sounds of laughter and seagulls and waves filling in the gap. Eyes narrowed, she replies.
"The nethicite. I must destroy it."
"Are you sure?" There's something bitter in Balthier's voice as he rests his hands on his hips. "You don't want it for yourself?" I cross my arms. Just what are you playing at? Ashe doesn't reply so the pirate continues. "Use its power to restore Dalmasca—something like that?" He shakes his head, spreading his arms out to the side. "The best intentions invite the worst kind of trouble." A pained expression flits over his face and I fight a wince.
"Lusting for ever greater power, blinded by the nethicite," Ashe muses. Suddenly, she turns on her heels frowning at him. "Is that how you see me?" Balthier sighs, pacing past her.
"That does sound like someone I know." Someone you know…? Left with little choice, Ashe and I follow him to where the others have gathered at the shore, not quite allowing them to enter our vicinity. "He was obsessed with the nethicite. It was all he cared about. He'd babble nonsense, bling to aught but the Stone's power." I can feel my heart sinking lower and lower with each word, my mind rushing a million miles an hour. It can't be… "He'd talk about some 'Eynah,' or what is 'Venat'? No matter." His green eyes glaze over, eyebrows drawn together.
"Everything he did, he did to get closer to the nethicite, to understand it. He made airships, weapons…" No, no, no, no, no… "He even made me a Judge." I stop walking then, my knees too weak to continue as nausea washes over my head like the ocean waves that lap at the shore.
"You were a… a Judge?" Ashe asks, stunned. He walks up to the water's edge, shrugging.
"Part of a past I'd rather forget. It didn't last long. I ran. I left the Judges… and him."
"Cidolfus Demen Bunansa," I breathe, earning both pairs of eyes. Balthier nods, his gaze falling to the ground before tracing back out to the ocean.
"Draklor Laboratory's very own Doctor Cid. That's when he lost his heart to nethicite, lost himself." He shakes his head. "And I suppose that's when I lost my father." Ashe gasps, staring long and hard at his back. But my shock is three times the strength of hers, a cold sweat breaking over my skin and my head spinning uncontrollably.
"Don't follow in his footsteps." He sighs. "I ran away. I couldn't stand seeing him like that, a slave to a Stone." And you think your brother could? "So I ran, free at last. Funny I went for the Dusk Shard. How could I have known that it was nethicite? And then, of course, I met the two of you." He shakes his head. "All that running, and I got nowhere." And he got nowhere? "It's time to end this, cut my ties to the past."
"And what of your brother?" I force, my hands clenched at my sides. Ashe turns to stare at me, confused. Balthier doesn't look back. "You left him behind after your father abandoned you both and when he needed you the most." I step toward him, my voice cracking as my throat tightens. "He sent you a cry for help and you never…" I shake my head. "That letter you received just months ago pleading for help? That was me. All I needed was to find the very Ffamran that Adamar needed the most."
"I couldn't help—" His voice is oddly quiet.
"Of course you couldn't," I snap. "You were too busy running while your brother was being killed." He doesn't reply. "You knew, didn't you? Ever since Larsa mentioned Dern, you knew who he was and who I was. Didn't you, Balthier?"
"You didn't see me attacking you for your choices last night," he retorts. "Fran and I were tied up ourselves."
"Would you have helped him had you been free?"
"… I can't say for sure."
"When were you going to tell me?"
"I just did."
Unable to take any more, I turn on my heels and rush out of the village. My trembling limbs hardly carry me down the hill before I collapse, emptying my stomach onto the bright grass. It feels like a century later that I stop retching, my skin covered in a sheen of cold sweat. Choking on air, I drag myself into taller grass and fall, closing my teary eyes with a groan.
It feels like I'm locked in a prison of sweltering heat and screams, of fearful green eyes and cries for mercy for an eternity. I toss and turn, trapped between sleep and consciousness. I can't breathe half the time, and the other half is spent drowning in sweat or my own startled, tortured cries that leave my partially aware throat sore. Finally, I fall into the dark recesses of sleep.
When I wake again, I sit up gasping. Sweat drips down the side of my face and soaks my hair. Sunlight beams in through cracks in the wooden panel surrounding me. I'm laid on a hammock of white rope, my boots and gauntlet set off to the side on the floor. Tugging my sleeve down over my burn scars, I open my mouth to address the only person in the room, only to be beaten to the point.
"Two days."
"Why?"
"Illness of some sort," Balthier mutters, picking at the dirt splattered across one of his rings. "Vaan was hit with something similar, but not quite the same. Penelo says it was food poisoning, Ashe called it heartbreak."
"… Vaan suffered from heartbreak?"
"Her diagnosis was for you," he replies abruptly, green eyes flitting up to meet mine. The eyes… How did I never notice? They're practically identical. "Though, I've not the slightest idea what would've caused such a thing."
"I think…" I sigh, falling back into the hammock and staring at the ceiling. "It was only shock. Shock, and maybe exhaustion."
"Sounds about right."
"Listen," I say, straightening again with a wince. "I'm sorry. About what I said? I just never thought I'd run into Dern's brother." I give a weak shrug, glancing down at the wooden floorboards. "I... tried hunting Ffamran down for a while after Dern... I wanted to..." My voice trails off.
"No need to apologize," he sighs, finally making regular eye contact with me. "You had every right. But you can't blame me and Fran for what happened." He pauses. "What did happen?"
"… I don't want to talk about it," I mutter, pushing my hair out of my face. "Perhaps another time."
"Perhaps." He nods.
"So… Are we headed off to Archades now?"
"As soon as you're well enough to walk," he nods again. "You've healed quite a bit."
"Yes, well," I huff, trying and failing to climb out of the rocking hammock. "I may need help getting out of here." He merely raises an eyebrow. I sigh, rolling my eyes. "I'll give you the full reward, you incompetent fool."
That, at least, elicits a smile.