AN: sorry I haven't updated in a while, I was very busy with RL. I send loads of thanks to all my reviews, they're what spurred me to keep writing. And now, enjoy!

Disclaimer: everything belongs to dear J K Rowling, not me. Except for the plot, obviously.

He knew he was falling. He knew it in every meal he missed out of shame and fear, every flash of dizziness invading his senses, every time his heart sped up into what he supposed counted as arrhythmia.

I don't deserve to eat, he told himself. I don't need help; my heart is perfectly normal.

But Sirius was falling.

If anything, his grades showed it. "Mr Black, you have to pay attention in class," McGonagall would say. "You are lacking the power - the energy - to do the spell," his Defense professor chastised. "You have to work harder."

Sirius did work hard. Of course, he had ended up getting good grades in previous years despite his lacking concern for homework. This year he was more disciplined, yet his grades had dropped magnificently.

Remus saw him. He saw Sirius write and study and read, but it didn't make a difference. Sirius would fall asleep in almost every class, and be unable to do repeated practicals.

He still ran in the mornings, however. The exhaustion was pleasing, as though tiring himself was rewarding.

And he practically lived off of coffee.

"Pass it," Sirius grunted. Peter complied, handing him the coffee pot. Remus rolled his eyes over the Daily Prophet he was hidden behind.

"Why won't Lily say yes?" James was groaning. "It's unfair!"

"Stop bothering her," Remus suggested mildly.

"I only asked her once this whole week!"

"I don't get why she keeps refusing you," Peter offered, as if hoping to comfort the distraught James.

Sirius yawned into his cup, thoughts already drifting from his best mate's dilemma.

oOo

"It's Halloween!" James cheered.

"Great, Prongs," muttered Remus. "And why do we care?"

Sirius grinned. "Don't be so rude, Moons. We have a great plan for this one."

"Lemme guess," his friend said dryly; "a prank."

"Exactly!" James pumped the air with his first before summoning a sheet of parchment. "Look. So, we're going to put something into the food--"

"That turns the Slytherins' hair all red," Sirius cut in. "Red and gold."

"And make the food explode in their faces," James finished.

"Guys, there's a major flaw. Tsk, tsk. Some Marauders aren't up to scratch, are they?" Remus grinned.

Sirius crossed his arms. "Go on, tell us what's so wrong!"

"Padfoot, there's no way to stop the other houses from eating the food!"

"Oh, yeah." The bespectacled boy deflated and Sirius muttered something under his breath. "But we go down to the kitchens, right?"

"Yeah?"

"And we put the charm on only the Slytherin table."

"So you aren't going to charm the food, you're going to charm the table," Remus clarified.

"Same thing. Now come on, let's go! We've got it worked out already."

The other three Marauders followed James to the painting that opened up to the kitchens.

Immediately house elves began surrounding them.

"What would you like, Sirs?" one squeaked.

"Nothing, thank you," Remus said. "We're quite alright. We just wanted to see how you make the Halloween feast."

"Come on," James hissed to Sirius, and both walked nonchalantly over to the Slytherin table. When they were sure no one was looking, the boys charmed the table silently, wands rustling as they stuffed them away.

James grinned. "This is going to be great."

oOo

Sirius had eaten too much.

When he had seen all the food, that giant feast laid out before him, he didn't think before diving in. Let Father go to hell, Sirius had thought. I've got no rules here.

And thus he proceeded to watch the Slytherins' hair turn bright red and gold and the food exploding in their faces, and he laughed.

But now he was certain he was the one in hell. He wasn't sure how Peter was still alive after eating four servings of pudding.

"Padfoot, are you okay? You look unwell," Moony commented, eyebrows creasing.

"I'm fine, I just ate - fuck - a bit too much." Sirius tried to appear nonchalant about the whole matter, when really his stomach was writhing at the sudden, unexpected amount of food, and bile rose in his throat.

As soon as he was liberated from dinner, Sirius ran to the nearest bathroom, casting a weak excuse over his shoulder. He immediately locked himself in a stall and threw up, shaking madly.

Exhausted, Sirius leaned back against the door as dizziness overwhelmed him. Goddamit, I can't do this!