Crups and Clabberts
It took longer than she expected to navigate the corridors but she eventually found the classroom. She pushed the heavy oak door open with her foot and started to drag her trunk inside, but a throat cleared and she dropped it.
"Professor," some habits die hard, and feeling like she was about to be told off by her old Transfiguration teacher was one of them. She had to remind herself that she was no longer a student and McGonagall was not her superior.
"I must say," the upright, severe woman looked at her with heavy-lidded distaste. "When Professor Dumbledore told me who he had appointed I was more than a little surprised."
Arundel straightened and studied McGonagall. She'd always wondered who would win in a duel, but today was not the day to find out. "You're my mentor," she said, keeping any kind of emotion from her voice.
"I am. I've come to induct you on to our staff. You will find miss Granville, that teaching here is very much harder than being a student."
Arundel doubted that, but she didn't voice her thoughts and in response dragged her trunk further into the room and sat on it as the door swung closed. McGonagall picked up a folder of papers and swept around the desk, crossed the floor with catlike speed, and handed them to her without even the slightest smile. "You will find a timetable and a year plan in there. The year plan is broken down into termly subject areas for your classes. You teach third years to seventh years, OWL's and NEWTS. You will take a registrar at the start of each class and you will set and mark homework. Grades will be collected the week before last at the end of each term, three times a year. Behaviour infractions are usually dealt with through detentions, I suggest you set detentions which have some bearing on your subject or the infraction. Filch has a list of banned objects. Don't put your students in the way of irreversible harm. Turn up for your lessons on time and be prepared for them."
Arundel flicked through the pack and noted that she had both Monday and Friday free of lessons but taught a full day on Tuesday to Thursday, that was not something she would complain about.
"We meet at seven thirty sharp for head teachers briefing, regardless of if we have duties in the day, we eat with our students in the great hall. Sometimes we go to Hogsmeade for lunch and on Quidditch days or events lessons might be collapsed. There's a year schedule in your pack. If you feel so inclined, you may run after-school clubs or activities."
"What about resourcing?" Arundel asked as she continued to flick through the pack. "Boggarts, Cornish pixies, Grindylows. Hinkypunks. Inferius, kappa, redcaps… Don't tell me the students will read a book and never work with these creatures."
"Ask and you will receive. You have autonomy over what happens in your classes Miss Granville if you want to make the OWL or NEWT test harder you can if you want to add more creatures you can, But the Ministry has a prescribed curriculum which must be covered." McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "If you want students to do well teach thoroughly, not quickly."
"Where does the money come from to run this place? I've always wanted to know."
McGonagall looked confused, "The Ministry, of course."
"What all of it? They are a bunch of tightfisted old bastards, this place must cost a fortune to run!"
The professor raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Should you wish to make a donation-"
Arundel smirked.
"Well." McGonagall had enough, she turned and swept to the door. "The day is your's Miss Granville, don't waste it."
"Hang on," Arundel called after her, "Where's my bedroom."
McGonagall's lips grew very thin, "What on earth makes you think we can afford such a luxury as our own bed, Miss Granville?" She wrenched open the door and left with her nose in the air.
"Your joking right?" Arundel asked as the door closed. "You must be joking."
The door didn't answer. Arundel lay back on her trunk and flicked through the lesson plans for her classes. When she had finished reading the realisation hit home that she would be expected to teach tomorrow. She thought it would be simple but this didn't seem so easy any more. What had she expected? To wing it? These lesson plans required a lot of work, she didn't know the curriculum and didn't have any of the resources, and the idea of teaching children who didn't care at all for the subject seemed insurmountable.
"Shit," she muttered and she opened her trunk. Inside steps led down into darkness, she climbed in and came out in a very comfortable lounge and kitchenette. She put the kettle on, spread the next day's lessons out on the table in front of her and with a hot cup of tea in front of her she read through what was expected. She would have four classes tomorrow. Two short third years, one longer fifth and sixth-year class, she was supposed to be introducing them to various tame animals but the more she looked at the work the less she liked it.
"What am I going to do?" she muttered, picturing the thirty or so students who would be looking at her to teach them and judging her on mundane objectives like 'was it fun.' She should be looking for the Grants Artifacts, but she didn't want to get kicked out before she had a chance to find them. "What am I-" she frowned and moved over to her bookshelf where she pulled down the Monster Book of monsters and Fantastic Beasts, as well as the Angry book of Arachnids and the Compendium of Pesky Pests. Boriss Blowers Beautiful BIG and the Magical Creatures Directory. The Monster Book of Monsters tried to bite her but she stroked it and it quietened. The last book she pulled out was called just called Banned and Dangerous and was definitely her most used book. She spent a good while searching through these until she had a good idea what was possible.
She had a plan by lunchtime, loosely based on the scheme of work provided, but with a number of more dangerous and interesting animals as well which would be introduced every few weeks in one-off lessons. She crawled out of her trunk, closed it up with a wave of her hand and then left to find Hagrid.
The half-giant wasn't in the great hall, and she grew quickly annoyed by the number of students who turned to study her with a mix of confusion and wonder. The whispers of 'that's the new professor' grew old very quickly. Leaving the castle she saw Hagrid's hut had smoke coming from the top, so she made her way down to him. Three knocks, a deep bark of a dog to alert its master and Rubeus Hagrid opened the door with a frown.
"I know you," he pointed a huge finger at her. "Ere, Fang, get away." The huge dog bounded through the door and knocked Arundel off her feet, she sat on the floor giggling as Fang licked her face. "E's not meant to do that, I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, I love dogs."
"You're the new professor? I've heard your name before, a guy down the pub used to talk about you."
"I'd like to know his name so I can shut him up," Arudel grumbled. "Hagrid I need your help."
"My help?" he echoed. "How's that?"
"Can you get these before tomorrow?" she pulled a list from her pocket. Hagrid read through and his eyes widened. "Tomorrow?"
"Yeah."
"That's not going to be easy, mind."
"How much?"
"Eh?"
"How much do you want?"
Hagrid scratched his beard, "It's not about money, you know there's a Ministry approved curriculum don't you?"
Arundel rolled her eyes.
"If you want my advice, start em on Crups and Clabberts."
"So boring."
Hagrid started to laugh, "There's a mooncalf and two unicorns you can track in the forbidden forest with the seventh years. I've got a Porlock you can start the fifth years on, but I'll try and get the flesh-eating slugs for you for the third years by tomorrow at least."
"Thanks, Hagrid."
"If I find anything else interesting i'll let you know."
The whole time Arundel had been sat on the floor scratching behind Fangs ears as he dribbled onto her lap. Now she stood up her robes were soaked. Hagrid winced but she started to laugh again.
"Do you think they would enjoy feeding my Sleeping Eyegougers?"
Hagrid chuckled. "I think they would love that, if they survive it."
"How do I get myself a set of goggles and cotton gloves?"
"Most teachers leave an order in the staffroom and their resources get delivered to the classroom ready for the next day."
Arundel thanked Hagrid profusely, said bye to Fang one more time and then started back to the castle, her plans would need to be modified but she had slightly expected it however that meant her next stop was the one she least looked forward to.