(…one month earlier…)

"Ain't we even gonna talk about this?"

The question was asked so quietly that Leonardo almost didn't hear it. His hand paused briefly as it reached for a sai that was lying on the floor. Shaking his head, he snatched the weapon and added it to the pile of gear that he was juggling in his left arm as he crossed the room in pursuit of its mate.

"There's nothing to talk about."

Raphael's brow wrinkled as he frowned. "Like hell there's not!" Kicking covers out of the way, he stood from the bed and approached his still naked sibling. "After what we did last night…"

"Last night was a mistake," Leo stated resolutely, hyperaware of the fast shrinking space between him and Raph. "It was wrong and it shouldn't have happened at a-…"

"But it did happen," the hothead interrupted. He stopped just inches behind the older turtle and watched him bend over to retrieve the second sai. "And there ain't nothing that's gonna undo it."

"I know that."

"Do ya?"

"Yes," the leader declared. Straightening up, he turned about to face his brother. The close proximity unsettled him, but he refused to take a step back. "I do."

"Then why the hell are ya trying to pretend that it didn't?" Raphael demanded. He pointed a finger at Leonardo. "This ain't something ya can just sweep under the rug!"

"It was wrong!" Leo repeated. "Why would I want to broadcast the fact that I took advantage of you?"

"Geezus, Leo, I ain't asking ya to make an announcement to the whole world!" Raph stated incredulously as he folded his arms over his chest. "I'm asking ya ta talk about it with me!" His eyes narrowed. "And what the hell makes ya think that I'd ever let ya take advantage of me! I ain't a sucker!"

"You were drunk!"

Raph snorted. "I wasn't even close ta being drunk!"

"You were stumbling all over the place!"

"And yet I still managed ta keep ya from pulling out yer weapons," the sai-wielder stated smugly. Leonardo fell silent and Raphael chuckled at his embarrassed expression. "I know how ta hold my liquor."

"The point I'm trying to make," the smaller turtle said curtly, "is that it was wrong, regardless of how sober you may think you were."

"Oh, come off it," Raph commanded. "If ya really thought that it was wrong, ya wouldn't have let things go as far as they did." He took a step closer to his sibling. "I know ya, Leo. It's in yer nature ta turn away from anything that goes against yer moral code."

"It was a moment of weakness," Leonardo excused, feeling his heart flutter nervously. "I gave in to a selfish desire. I'm not immune to that."

A grin turned up the corners of Raph's mouth. "So ya admit that ya desire me, huh?"

The clan leader's cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. "Th-that's not what I said..."

"Sounded like a confession ta me."

"It wasn't!"

"Ain't no point in denying it, Leo."

"I'm being honest!"

"Are ya really?"

"Yes!"

"Then look me in the eye and tell me ya don't want me," Raphael ordered while inching forward.

The urge to flee threatened to overwhelm Leonardo. His mind was reeling with confusion over the whole situation and Raph bearing down on him was certainly not helping him make sense of it. Squaring his shoulders, Leo tried to meet his brother's gaze and failed miserably.

"I don't want you," he said quietly, glancing to the side.

"That ain't looking me in the eye," Raph chided. With one hand he reached out to cup Leo's chin and gently tilted the katana wielder's head until they were face to face. "Now tell me, do ya want me or not?"

Panic rising, Leo wanted to pull away, but something more than Raph's grip seemed to be keeping him in place.

"H-how are you okay with what we did?" he asked, trying to divert the conversation.

The red-banded turtle shrugged. "Some things just feel right." Not so easily sidetracked, he prompted his brother again. "Answer the question."

"I..I-I…" Leo's words stuttered and died. His arms and legs started to shake as he endured Raph's intent stare. Swallowing hard, he forced himself to speak. "…I don't know."

"Well, that ain't a 'no'," Raph said with a smirk and leaned in to press his lips to Leo's.

It was not a move the leader had anticipated. Eyes widening with shock, Leonardo could do nothing but stand there frozen in place as the larger turtle kissed him. Several seconds ticked by and Leo felt his face growing hotter with each one. He was shaken from his stupor when Raphael wrapped an arm around his waist and tried to push a tongue into his mouth. Pulling back, Leo glared at his sibling.

"It wasn't a 'yes' either!" he informed Raph angrily.

His harsh tone made the hothead frown.

"Leo…"

Jerking his head to the side, the katana-wielder freed himself from his brother. He shoved the armful of gear and weaponry he had been holding back at its owner who reflexively accepted it. Grabbing Raph by the upper arm, Leo yanked him towards the door.

"You need to leave," the eldest decided as he released the lock and turned the doorknob. "Right now."

"Leo…"

"Just go!" Leonardo snapped and pushed his brother out of his room.

"Leo!" Raph protested a third time while the door was shut in his face. Reaching for the doorknob, he twisted it fiercely only to discover that it had been locked already. Temper rising, he pounded a fist against the wood. "Dammit, Leo! Open up!"

Silence answered him. Raphael raised his fist to hit the door again, but stopped himself. Although he wanted to confront his brother, he knew that starting a ruckus that would wake the rest of the family was a bad idea. In no way was he prepared to give them an explanation as to why he was standing outside Leo's room stark naked with his gear in hand, trying to beat down the door. Nor did he have the patience to wait for Leo to emerge which, given his reaction, wouldn't happen for quite a while. Growling, Raph turned and marched towards the bathroom.

About halfway there his steps slowed as his awareness of the painful sting underneath his tail intensified. Grimacing, he ruefully rubbed his rear to try easing the discomfort. Doing his best to ignore the sensation, he hurried to his destination.

It wasn't until Raph was in the shower that the full weight of what had happened between him and Leo dropped on his shoulders. While the hot water streamed down his body, he stared at the white tile near his feet, trying to deal with the riot of thoughts and emotions now raging inside of him. He had actually lost his virginity, something he never thought he would accomplish in his lifetime…

…he lost it to his own brother…

…and he was completely okay with that.

Had someone asked him yesterday if he wanted to have sex with Leonardo, Raph probably would have punched them just for suggesting it. Though his teenage hormones often left him wishing desperately for a mate, he had never imagined that he could find one among his siblings. His mind always entertained the idea that he would be miraculously paired with some human female who wasn't bothered by his mutant form.

But now?

Now that it had happened, the dark green mutant wondered why he had not considered it before. Leonardo said last night that it made sense for them to be in a relationship and the more Raph thought about it, the more he agreed. They already knew each other's habits, likes, and dislikes. Why go to the trouble of learning all that stuff with someone new? And besides…

…Leonardo turned him on.

The hand that had been scrubbing at his skin with a washcloth paused as that thought entered his mind. At what point had Leo gone from being simply his brother to someone that he found attractive? Was he only thinking this way because they had slept together? Or had he always harbored these feelings unwittingly and the events of last night had been the trigger to releasing them? Raphael wasn't really sure, but decided that he really didn't care.

Because he wanted more.

Raph couldn't recall the exact details, but what he did remember was intense passion and blissful relief, followed by an unfamiliar happiness. All of those feelings had been incited by his fearless leader. If sex had been that good when he was half-drunk, experiencing it sober had to be a thousand times better. The problem would be convincing Leo that this was a worthwhile pursuit. Resuming the task of cleaning himself, Raph contemplated the possible ways he might do so.

First, of course, he would have to get his big brother to actually talk to him.

XXX

Practice later that morning was awkward.

Mostly because Raph could hardly move without little darts of pain shooting through his ass. Gritting his teeth, he did his best not to let his distress show as Master Splinter led the four of them through their katas. Unfortunately, the observant rodent noticed the few winces that his hot-tempered son failed to suppress.

"Raphael, are you injured?" Splinter inquired suspiciously mid-way through the session.

The question caused all movement in the dojo to cease. Both Donnie and Mikey looked over at their temperamental sibling, one with concern and one with curiosity.

"Uh…no, Sensei?" the sai-wielder replied, attempting to appear puzzled by the question.

Splinter quirked a dubious eyebrow. "Your performance seems to indicate otherwise."

"Fell asleep on the floor last night," Raph lied easily. "Must've slept on my shell wrong." He rolled his shoulders as if to relieve an ache. "My back is feeling kinda outta whack."

"Dude, you have a bed. Why would you sleep on the floor?" Mikey chimed in.

Raphael glared at him.

"Why indeed?" the mutant rat wondered.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Raph kept his focus on the tatami mats. "Guess Casey and I got a little carried away with our celebrating. Couldn't really manage ta climb inta my hammock, if ya know what I mean."

The mutant rat pursed his lips as he eyed his largest son disapprovingly. Although he had given Raph permission to indulge in the spirits, it was under the conditions that Raph do so occasionally and never to the point of being drunk.

"I see," Splinter commented, fingers drumming the top of his walking stick. He glanced briefly at the family's medic. "Do you need Donatello to examine you?"

"Nah, I'll be alright."

"Very well then. You are dismissed."

Raph's head snapped up. "What? Why?"

"Raphael, exerting yourself physically when you are already hurt only causes more damage," his adoptive father explained for the umpteenth time. "I cannot in good conscious allow you to continue, even if your current predicament is a result of your own poor judgment."

"Sensei, I'm fine…"

Splinter held up a hand, signaling Raph into silence. "You shall have the rest of today to recuperate. I suggest you use that time to reflect upon the repercussions that come with consuming too much alcohol."

"But…"

"We shall discuss your drinking habits later."

"I said I was fine!" Raph thundered, fingers curling into fists. "I ain't skipping out on training!"

"Raphael!" the rat shouted, his stern tone cautioning his student that it would be unwise to continue arguing. He gestured at the entrance to the dojo. "You have been dismissed."

With a defiant sneer upon his face, Raph turned to leave, grumbling angrily under his breath. "Un-fucking-believable."

Shielding his mouth with a hand, Mikey told Donnie none-too-quietly, "Geez, maybe I should have spent the night getting wasted so I could get out of practice, too."

The comment further agitated Raph. Whipping back around, he aimed a punch at his orange-banded sibling, hitting him squarely in the cheek.

"Fuck off, Mikey!" he snarled.

The heavy blow caused Michelangelo to stumble backwards a few steps. He rubbed at the stricken area, convinced that a bruise was already starting to form. Eyes narrowing, he prepared to retaliate.

"Boys!" Master Splinter exclaimed before either one could act. "That is enough! Raphael!" He pointed at the doorway again. "Leave! Now!"

Raph shot a warning glance at his younger brother before heading for the exit on a path that took him by Leonardo. Growling lowly in his throat, Raph stared at the leader menacingly as he stomped past. It was, after all, Leo's fault that he was in pain. But Leo refused to look at him, his expression completely impassive. Though tempted to say something, the sai-wielder held his tongue. Splinter's voice faintly followed him as he left the dojo.

"Positions, please."

XXX

The day did not improve much for Raphael.

Sitting was difficult. Standing was tiresome. Lying down was boring.

Splinter lectured him for over an hour about responsibility, self-control, and lashing out at others. It was a recycled speech that Raph had heard on more than one occasion and he struggled to keep his focus on his father's overused words. Somehow he managed to answer at the appropriate times thus avoiding a harangue about inattentiveness. The rat master must have been feeling gracious because he let Raph leave with only a verbal reprimand.

But the sai-wielder didn't have a chance to be happy about his lucky break. Not even a minute after he left his sensei's room Michelangelo began to harass him. The youngest turtle was not one to just let things go and he was trying his hardest to goad Raph into a fight so that he might have his revenge for the sucker punch he received earlier. Mikey's relentless badgering had given Raphael a massive headache and his right eye twitched nervously from the stress of self-restraint.

Just before he was about to snap and throttle his pestilent brother, Donatello intervened to inquire about his "back pain". As a self-appointed doctor, Donnie felt compelled to make sure his patients were really okay especially those who had the tendency to understate the true extent of their injuries. It hadn't been easy to shake the genius off. To escape both Donnie and Mikey, Raph had to resort to barricading himself inside his room which was not where he wanted to be.

Not without Leonardo there, too.

Unfortunately, the eldest was doing a damn good job of making sure Raph couldn't get him alone. With three other people living in the lair, it wasn't exactly a hard task to accomplish, but it sure was irritating as hell. If Leo wasn't in the company of their two siblings or their father, then he was shut tightly in his room. Raph figured that Leo, the turtle who hated to leave conflicts unresolved, would come and talk to him by the next morning.

Two days later, as he sat eating dinner with the rest of his family, Raphael was seriously considering dragging Leo from the kitchen to his room by the tails of his mask regardless of who was watching since it seemed to be the only way he'd get to have a chat with his dear brother. Leo's aloofness left Raph feeling sullen and his temper was shorter than ever. He nearly bit Donnie's head off when the scientist made the simple request that Raph pass the salt. Kicking his chair away, the hothead stormed off.

Restless and frustrated, Raphael paced the floor of his bedroom. Did Leo really think that he could avoid Raph forever? How were they supposed to move on from what happened if Leo continued to ignore him?

Anger surging through his body, Raph stopped pacing and drove his fist into the wall. The painful contact gave him a twisted feeling of satisfaction and he repeated the action twice more. Resting his forehead against the stone, the sai-wielder tried to calm down.

His thoughts eventually returned to the night he had spent with Leonardo. Even after three days, the memory of it still excited him. A little too much. While his mind replayed images of a breathless, sweating, and red-faced Leo, Raph felt fire ignite in his groin.

Cursing, he turned and leaned his carapace back against the wall. Hands shaking slightly, he reached for the knot in his belt. After a few seconds of struggle, the strip of leather loosened and fell to the floor. Raph's fingers instead settled over the forming bulge in his lower plastron.

He wanted Leo. Of that he was certain. And even if the leader eluded him in real life, at least Raph could have him in his fantasies.

The hothead ghosted his thumb over the slit that kept his budding erection hidden from view. As he pictured his brother bent over before him, his cock dropped down. A small hiss of relief escaped him and he wrapped a hand around his swelling flesh.

Then to his great and utter embarrassment, the door creaked open.

Across the room stood the object of Raphael's desire. The tall terrapin watched Leonardo's eyes widen and his cheeks flush as he realized what he had walked in on. For Raph it felt like an eternity passed before he could force his mouth to work.

"D-do ya mind?" he sputtered, face burning with a combination of rage and shame. "Shut the fucking door!"

Leonardo quickly obliged. Stepping into the room completely, he pushed the door closed and locked it for good measure. The action rendered Raph momentarily speechless once again.

"I meant from the other side!" he said exasperatedly.

Silently, the clan leader crossed the floor. Raph swallowed nervously. All through his approach, Leo kept his gaze focused on his brother's face. Sweat began to bead on Raph's forehead and he felt his breath catch when Leo stopped but a few inches in front of him.

"Leo, what the hell…" the hothead started to say.

The rest of his words morphed into a grunt as a hand that was not his own closed around his hardened cock. Heart rate increasing, Raph locked eyes with his older brother.

"Leo…"

Raph ducked his head to kiss the other turtle, but then paused, believing that he had to be dreaming. The hesitation made Leonardo frown. Leaning forward, he brushed his mouth against Raph's softly.

"Leo," Raphael whispered the name against the owner's lips.

Eyes sliding shut, Raph kissed his brother firmly. His fear that this was all a vivid hallucination disappeared when an arm curled around his shoulders. Reaching out, Raph pressed one hand to the middle of Leo's carapace while the other found rest along the solid curve of Leo's buttocks. The two ninja stepped forward, further closing the gap between them.

And before they knew it, they were sinking to the floor.