Tuesday, 3:30 PM. Another boring day at the house. Like, really boring. Haven't even heard from Lapis and Peridot at all today. Knowing them, Lapis probably has Peridot bound and gagged in the barn. Fucking deviants.

As for us, the most exciting thing that's happened so far would be Pearl and Amethyst's bickering. Something about Amethyst's bras and why she keeps them laying around everywhere. Pearl shouldn't be so high and mighty, though. I've caught her panties laying on the ground multiple times.

~That's because you were in her room, digging around in her dressers.~

It's her fault! What woman leaves the door to her room wide open while there's a teenaged boy around?

~Gems are genderless, Steven.~

So is mental disability.

~Steven!~

Oh, come on! How the hell are you gems genderless, yet you all are feminine, emotional, and use pronouns like her for each other?

~I'm surprised that out of all of our supernatural traits, gender is what you're concerned with.~

And another thing, mom. Why does Pearl even have panties, since she's 'genderless?'

~Fashion is universally accepted one way or another.~

Yeah, ok, sure. Whatever you say.

"Steven, what do you think?" Amethyst called out.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Were you not listening at all? Ugh! Me and Ms. Bunched Panties are debating about whether or not shoe sizes match up with dick sizes."

~As crude as ever, Amethyst..~

"1. You were talking about that filth. I was trying to change the subject. 2. Can you, at the very least, show some class?" Pearl sighed.

~And as prim and proper as the day I left, Pearl.~

"Sure thing, Pearl."

Amethyst stood up and grabbed onto her pants.

"I said 'class,' Amethyst! Class!" Pearl yells, catching Amethyst's hands.

Amethyst bursts out laughing while Pearl blushes. Wonder how Garnet feels about this. Megazord looking ass. Garnet justs chuckles to herself and tells the two to calm down.

"I'm just having a little fun, G. It's not like there's anything to do around here." Amethyst said.

"There's some chores to do if you're that eager."

"Chores? Chores?!" Amethyst scoffs.

"Chores."

"Chores that Pearl haven't already done?"

Garnet looks over to Pearl, who looks away meekly.

"Got a point there..."

~Garnet, still rock solid. At least she can handle a situation around here.~

What am I supposed to be, Gandhi? Let them sort their own shit. Besides, what we really should worry about is the troubled couple.

"Not to break up a loving conversation, but what about Lapis and Peridot? Are we all gonna keep letting Lapis abuse Peridot?"

"Steven, I thought we agreed a while ago that we would allow them to sort things out themselves." Garnet said.

"I don't recall 'us' letting abuse prosper." Garnet and I said...Wait, Garnet?

"Garnet?" Pearl asked.

"I...You know what we mean."

"You mean you, Ruby."

"Garnet, are you ok?" Amethyst asked.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Garnet asked, light glowing from her gems.

"Well, you're glowing brighter than a christmas tree, so..." I said.

Garnet groaned as she started to unfuse.

"Not again, Sapphire." Ruby said.

Sapphire pushed herself from Ruby and said, "Yes again, Ruby. I've told you time and time again that their relationship is unhealthy."

"Sapphy.."

"Don't 'Sapphy' me! Why are letting this go on? We need to help Peridot."

"I hear you, but can't you understand we can't force change in their relationship? We have to let do them."

"Trust me. They've been doing themselves a little too much lately." I added.

"Break it up, you two. We can settle this peacefully." Pearl said, getting in-between the two.

"Peacefully? What do you want us to do? Pat Lapis and Peridot on the back while Lapis puts a collar around Peridot's neck and drag her naked body around?!" Sapphire asked.

"Uhh...this is totally unrelated, but um...no one look outside, m'kay?" Amethyst mentioned from the door.

"Ugh! Despicable, little-"

"Sapphire, wait!" Ruby grabbed Sapphire by the dress.

"Wait for what?! For Peridot to get shattered?!"

Sapphire yanked her dress away and ran outside.

"Ughh! She always has to intervene. She can't just leave shit alone!" Ruby groaned.

Pearl put a hand on Ruby and said, "It'll be alright. Just focus on something else for the time being. In fact, I know just what'll help."

Ruby looked up and down at Pearl with a concerning frown.

"Pearl, I'm not into whatever you're about to suggest." She said, swatting the hand off her.

"I was suggesting meditation, you freak."

"Oh, I know. Just meditation. Then, after I drink the tea you make, I start feeling really relaxed. Then you catch me as I fall because of my wobbling legs giving out. And finally, before I pass out, you hum a nursery rhyme into my ear and start undressing me."

Everyone stared intently at Ruby without saying a thing.

"~Sploosh~" Amethyst broke the silence after a few seconds.

Aside from Amethyst's libido, Sapphire could be heard yelling outside. I was the first one out of the house.

"Let her go, Lapis! You've got to stop this!"

"Go back to Ruby, Sapphire. We're just going out for a walk." Lapis said.

"It's n-not a big deal..I mean..it's not too bad. It's not good! It's..uh..well. It's something." Peridot tried to explain.

"Hush, Peri. We've got nothing more to say."

"Take the damn collar off, Lapis!" Sapphire yelled.

"Why? It's a great accessory." Lapis replied.

"It's degrading. For Diamond's sake, she's on all fours! What's wrong with you?!"

"Hey, let it be known that I didn't force her on her knees."

"Oh, I doubt that."

"I bet you do. You've got no frame of reference for something like this. It's not like Ruby willingly got on her knees." Lapis reinforced her smug grin.

Large, icy cracks began forming all around Sapphire. Pillars of jagged ice erupted from the ground, stabbing through the sand and rocks.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Sapphire whispered.

"Oh! Hostile~" Lapis said in a singsong tone.

Peridot crawled behind Lapis.

"All I'm saying is it might've been a taxing task, getting her to do the do."

"If you're implying what I think you're implying-"

"I mean, I could or couldn't be. No one really knows with your ass. Future vision has you worse than a scatterbrain with endless anxiety, of which should go without saying."

"Lapis! Sapphire! Just drop it!" Pearl called out.

"Stay out of it, Pearl. And you, Lapis. I'm not telling you again. Release her from the collar before I come over there and do it myself." Sapphire demanded.

"Sapphy, relax. It's a shame you can't take a joke. Regardless, you should calm down before doing something reckless. I think we both know what end result that future vision of yours has predicted."

"You have 5 seconds to take that damned collar off."

"Sapphire, wait!" Peridot said.

"And you've got 5 seconds to reconsider your plan."

"Sapphy, this doesn't have to end in a fight!" Ruby pleaded.

It really doesn't, but you know how petty Lapis can be.

~Intervene, Steven!~

Can't. Too interested in the drama.

"Ah, there she is. How's it hanging, Ruby?" Lapis directed her attention to Ruby.

"Keep her name out your whore mouth, Lapis." Sapphire demanded.

"You keep MY name out YOUR whore mouth before I put it in Ruby's."

Sapphire erupted pillars of ice from underneath Lapis just after Lapis grabbed Peridot and flew upwards.

"Y-You saved me?" Peridot asked.

"Tch," Lapis threw Peridot 30 feet behind her, "I was taking flight and you happened to be in my arms."

"I dare you to say her name again." Sapphire threatened Lapis.

"Oh don't worry. I'll be screaming her name and she'll be screaming mine!"

"Wha...what the hell's that supposed to mean?!" Peridot yelled.

"What? Oh come on. She's the side, if that's what you're worried about." Lapis reassured Peridot.

"Ugh! Pig!" Peridot stomped off.

"Ahhh whatever. You'll be back."

"How about you pay attention?!" Sapphire throws a giant shard of ice at Lapis.

I jumped from the porch towards Lapis and surround us in a pink bubble. I sank us down to the ground before releasing the bubble.

"Enough, you two." I said.

"Thanks, Steven. Saved me the energy. Now I can focus that energy INTO FACE FUCKING RUBY!" Lapis said, cupping her mouth to yell at Sapphire.

Sapphire charged towards Lapis and swung at her. I had to catch Sapphire's fist and hold Lapis back, which, needlessly to say, was fucking hard.

"I said that's enough, damnit! Back off!" I told them both.

"Let me go!" Sapphire yelled.

"Calm it down!"

"No, let her, so I can put her in her place." Lapis told me.

I pushed them both back and pointed away from the house.

"You can take your ass back to the barn," I said, before pointing to the house, "and you, Sapphire, can chill out in the house!"

"But-"

"No 'buts!' Just go! Y'all can make up whenever you want. Go collect your thoughts away from each other."

Sapphire clenched her fists, as if she was gonna talk back. She sighed harshly and turned back.

"She's lucky Garnet's not here." She said, walking back to the house.

"And you're lucky Steven's here." Lapis said.

"So are you, Lapis. Now go back to the barn."

"Whatever. Peridot should be halfway there, at least. Maybe some mile-high make-up sex will cheer her up."

"Wait!" I stopped Lapis.

Lapis quickly turned around, almost falling over.

"Jeez, what?" She asked.

"...At least have some decency and fuck her behind closed doors."

"Ooh, is that an invitation to your room?~"

"Hell no. In the barn. And at least ask her this time."

"Pfft. Sure. Whatever you say, little man." Lapis chuckled.

And just like that, she ascended into the sky and flew out of sight. As Sapphire reached the top of the stairs, Ruby rushed towards her.

"Sapphy!" She called unto Sapphire.

Sapphire pushed Ruby out of her way and warned Ruby to leave her alone. Before Ruby could say another word, Sapphire was already in the house and in her room.

"..Sapphire?.."

"Don't worry, Ruby." Pearl said.

"Yeah. It's not like she's mad at you." Amethyst reassured Ruby.

"Yeah, but she's not exactly happy with me.." Ruby sulked.

Ruby looked into the sky, trying to capture a glimpse of Lapis flying away. Her eyes, slightly starry.

"Ruby?" Pearl asked.

Ruby barged into the house and activated the door to her room. It's been a while since she went in her own room. She usually bunked with Sapphire...you know, as Garnet. But during Sad Lesbian Hours, she retreats to her small, crimson room.

"Oh..I hope this is as bad as it gets." Pearl sighed.

"It's probably not. Lapis went a little too far this time." Amethyst said.

"We've just gotta give them space. Lapis is Lapis. She starts shit daily. Sapphire'll be the bigger gem here." I stated.

"Are you sure? Cuz that's the first time I've ever seen her like that." Amethyst said.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Sapphire's used to being calm, but...I don't think I've ever seen comfortable being mad. She was like another being." Pearl added.

"Trust me. This'll blow over in a matter of days...or weeks. Whichever."

"You must have some faith, Steven."

"Eh...Don't hold me to it."

Later that night, I'm awaken by my paranoid mother. Something about her hearing something from the kitchen.

~Someone or something's in the kitchen. I'm serious!~

It's probably Amethyst rummaging through the fridge butt naked again.

~...Don't check the kitchen. Go back to bed.~

Nope! You woke my ass up, so now we're gonna get to Amethyst's bottom of this.

~Point made! Point made!~

I exit my room and head straight for the kitchen. To my surprise, it wasn't Amethyst. It was...Ruby. She was leaning against the fridge...butt naked...with a zucchini...in-between her hips...

~POINT! MADE!~

"Ugh..Ah! Oohh, gosh. W-What's she doing to me? Why a-am I-I like this...why?" Ruby whispered through her gritted teeth.

I ducked behind a counter and peered over from the side.

~Stop watching, Steven!~

This could be informative! Relax.

"Ahh~ Why do you make me so..so..so ravenous?" Ruby asked no one, her walls slick against the poor, poor vegetation.

Why is she saying this out here, of all places? Is she talking about Sapphire?

~Just leave!~

No! I haven't figure what's wrong with her.

~Self-indulgence. Simple. Go back to your room!~

She's doing more than fucking herself, mom.

"Ahh~ Mmm! I'm-I'm close. So close. Faster!" Ruby rammed the zucchini further inside, repeatedly jamming it around her goodies.

~Stop pointing it out!~

"Oh! Ah! Eeyah! Oh, Lapis!" Ruby moaned into her hands.

My eyes shrank at the sight of Ruby's fluids splattered all over the floor. Her legs spasming, her breathing crazily, lips curled in pleasure. Her fluids soaked the floor entirely, spreading to my feet.

"Holy fuck!" I whispered to myself.

~I told you! Oh, why don't you ever listen to me?!~

Ruby panted as she got her towel to sop up her cum.

"Damn it, Ruby. If anyone ever saw you like this...If Sapphire saw you like this?..If...Lapis saw you like this? Hehehe..Lapis...Agh! Ruby, snap out of it." Ruby said to herself.

She stood on the towel and shuffled across the mess.

"I know how you feel, but you can't do this. You're with Sapphire. Your Laughy-Sapphy. No matter how hot Lapis looked, towering over Peridot...disrespecting her...disrespecting Sapphire...Talking about how she'd make me say her name..ahh! Goddammit! I want her so bad! Just to think what she could do to me in the air!" Ruby began biting her finger.

~Oh, why me, why?~

"Ngh! I just want her to break my back a little bit...and then start fucking me!"

"Oh my fucking god, I can't take it anymore!" I whispered, sneaking back to my room.

I dove under my sheets, pulled them over my head, and tried to hide my tomato face.

"What. The. Fuck?! Why?!"

~You gonna listen to me now, Steven? Huh?! Well, are you?!~

"Yes! Oh god! I'll listen! I'll listen!"