I couldn't exactly sleep that night. Not after what they've done. Not after what my mom said. Grr! Why do I always have to fix this shit? Why can't they at least show some class? Have some responsibility? Respect one another?

Bullshit after bullshit. And I'm going to sift through it all to find something worthwhile. So here I go, leaping out of my bed to fly to the city, known as Lapis and Ruby's coochies, to save the day once again...Sounded better in my head.

I pulled off my covers and marched towards the living room. Out the fucking house, I go. Traveled on down to the love shack of a barn Peridot and Lapis has. I slowly opened the large, rickety doors to find a sleeping pair of fucknuts. Lapis being spooned by Ruby in Lapis's garbage bed. I grab Ruby off of Lapis and start dragging her towards the exit.

Ruby groaned as her head banged against the wooden floor. Her eyes fluttered open right before she started shrieking. She kicked me off of her and launched herself onto her feet.

"What do you think you're doing, Steven?!" Ruby asked.

"Taking your dumbass back home so you can patch things up with Sapphire." I told her.

I grabbed her by the back of her neck and kept dragging her as she struggled.

"Let me go!" She demanded.

Lapis at this point started to churn in her bed, waking up sluggishly. She rubbed her eyes and saw me pulling Ruby away. Lapis fell out of bed and started dashing for me.

"Steven, leave her alone!" Lapis pleaded.

I kept her back with my bubble shield.

"Lapis, you two have had your fun. Your sick, disgusting fun. It's time for Ruby to go back to Sapphire and for you to go back to Peridot, wherever she is." I told them.

"Peridot won't take me back. She's probably halfway across the world by now."

"It's been like what, a day or so since she left? She has no means of transportation, no I.D, no money. Her ass is still in Beach City, Lapis, and you have to find her!"

"Y-You don't know that! She could somewhere else. How am I supposed to find her when she doesn't want to be found?"

"Yeah, Steven! Riddle us that. Peridot made her choice and left. We've got no clue where she is." Ruby added.

"It can't be hard to find a goddamned green-gemmed gremlin lurking around in this town. You just gotta try." I said.

"It's pointless...She'd be here if she wanted to be here." Lapis sighed.

"She'd be here if you got your head out of Ruby's ass and actually TRIED to find her! Let's go!" I drag Ruby out the barn.

"Ok, ok...Where do we start, genius?" Lapis frowned.

"Um, somewhere. Gahh...I don't know. Maybe near the pier? With my dad? She can't be too far."

Just then, my phone rang from inside my back pocket. I grab my phone and unlock it. Connie? Really? Right now?

"This isn't a good time, Connie." I answered.

"I could say the same thing, Steven. What in gem hell is Peridot doing here? She snuck into my room through my second floor window and now she won't leave my room! She's lucky she didn't wake up my parents." Connie told me.

"...Peridot is in your house?"

"Yes! She got here like half an hour ago, talking about how she needs to crash at my fucking place! What did you do?"

"Me? Nothing. Lapis on the other hand..."

"Oh great. Mrs. Blink-182 kicked her out?"

"Kind of the opposite."

"Steven, who's that?" Ruby asked, touching my phone.

"Get off, Ruby. I'm talking to Connie." I told her.

"Wait, is Peridot with her? Hey, Connie! Keep Peridot!" Ruby starts yanking my phone and yelling closer to it.

"Ruby, please, for the love of tranquility, shut. The. Fuck. Up! My parents are sleeping." Connie whispers.

"Sorry, Connie. Listen, we'll be right there to get Peridot." I said, shoving Ruby down to the ground.

"How about you come get her and leave the squeaker and Mrs. I'm Feeling Blue home? I'm not getting detained to my bedroom because of them."

"I'll be there soon."

"Sooner, hopefully. Peridot's going through my stuff...Peridot, get off my laptop! And stay away from my bookmarks. You don't want the trauma, I can assure you that!"

I hung up and rubbed my tired eyes.

"Listen, you two. As much as I want you to stay here...I'd really rather have you come along to help bring Peridot back. Plus, with your flight, Lapis, we can get there in no time flat." I told them.

"Ok. You ready to go?" Lapis hovered with her logic-defying water wings.

"I'll do it for you, Lapis...I suppose.." Ruby muttered.

"Good. Let's hurry up then." I said.

Lapis grabs us both and slowly takes off towards Connie's place. The city was unusually dead. The lights dim and no one to be found outside. The carnival wasn't even open. Guess it's one of those nights.

As I expected, the flight to Connie's home took no time at all. We landed around the back, close to her bedroom window. She opened her window and motioned us to come in. Lapis flew us in gently.

Connie's room was more of a large, geek-like hangout. Various posters depicting anime and game characters were hung. Gaming consoles, various works of literature, awards, magazines, and a few, somewhat dirty, clothes spread around her room...Even some of the more...gender specific wear were idle on her carpeted floor.

"Before you ask, yes, my room looks messy, but not because of me. I don't usually have my underwear in the dead center of the room, if you could tell. Peridot's been going through all my damn stuff and I'm really close to throwing her out the window." Connie explained.

"Hey, I'm not here to judge your lifestyle. It's been a while since I was in your home anyways, so you know." I joked.

"Har har har. Hilarious. Can you take Peridot back now, please?"

"Well, where is she?"

Peridot opens Connie's bathroom door and asked, "Hey, Connie. Do you think Lapis would lust uncontrollably for me if I wore just these articles of human clothing?"

The clothing she had on consisted of what I can only assume is Connie's bra and underwear, both of which were a tad smaller than Peridot's usual size. Needless to say, she looks very inappropriate and will be in my nightmares for days to come.

"Peridot, what the actual fuck are you doing with my stuff!" Connie whispered, barely containing herself.

"I told you, it's to..to..to...Lapis?! What're you doing here? Get lost!" Peridot said, realizing Lapis was present.

"H-Hey, Peri. I, um..c-came by c-cause- well, because...I want you to come home, if that was o-ok with you?" Lapis explained herself, wiping a streak of blood from her nose.

"Well, as Connie's told me after my recent complaints with her living space, 'Tough Titties!' I want you gone, now."

"Same here, except towards all of you." Connie added.

"Peri, please. Just..please. Come back? Maybe?" Lapis half-assed her begging.

"That's terrible begging. You came all the way here to say that crap? Well, I'm not having it. I'm not coming back to the barn." Peridot scoffed.

"Welp, we tried. Let's go." Ruby excitedly said, walking back towards the window.

"Peridot, what Lapis is trying to say is that she feels bad about what she said. She wants to make up. Please, give her another chance. She wants to make things right." I told Peridot.

"Well if she wants me so bad, I want to hear it from her."

"Steven.."

"Lapis, tell her you love her and you're willing to do anything to fix yourself and this relationship, or I'll tell her where and what Ruby buried herself in for hours." I whisper in Lapis's ear.

"Please no! S-She won't take me back after that!" Lapis whispers back.

"Then you'd better get on your fucking knees and beg like the bitch you are." I push Lapis forward.

"Oh, fine!"

Lapis clears her throat and looks away from Peridot as she began.

"P-Peridot?" She asked.

Peridot looked coldly upon her.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I just wanted to piss Sapphire off...you know?"

"Yeah, Peridot. It's not like Lapis was seriously gonna fuck me." Ruby snickered.

I hit Ruby to her dismay while Lapis continued.

"You're the only one I want, Peri. Please, just come home?"

Peridot marched straight up to Lapis, stomping ever so vigorously.

"I swear to all that is scientific, if this 'Green Giant' bitch doesn't stop stomping..." Connie whispered.

Peridot, grabbing Lapis by the neck, whispered, "I'll come home when I fucking feel like it. Got it?"

Lapis attempted to pull away, but was tugged back. She struggled to get out of Peridot's grasp. Peridot clenched her throat harder and harder, gagging Lapis.

"I just asked you a question, pet. You had better answer it."

...Oh...god...not this shit. Not. This. Shit!

"Gah! Crsss! Yess! Yesssss!" Lapis uttered softly.

Peridot released Lapis, flipped her over, and planted her foot on Lapis's back. She...Fucking Christ...She gently messaged Lapis's gem.

"And I feel like going home. This place was mere rubbish compared to the barn anyways." Peridot said.

"Thanks. I sure appreciate hearing that from you." Connie sarcastically replied.

"Well, that's settled. Let's hurry and leave." I hastily said.

I started shoving the gems out of the window and climbed out myself.

"I'll make it up to you some day, Connie."

"You'd better, Steven. I'm not babysitting anymore attention whores." Connie groaned.

"Well, what're you waiting for, Lapis? Fly us back." I addressed Lapis.

Lapis laid on the rough, dirty grass, with Peridot's foot still pressing her down. Faint grunts were emitted in the process.

"Change of plans, Steven. We're flying back to the barn to...mmmm...'catch up.' To teach my dog a few 'tricks.'" Peridot replied.

"W-Wuff?" Lapis whispered very faintly, despite my curse of great ears listening in on her weird pleasures.

"You two can walk back."

"You bitch!" Ruby angrily spouted.

Peridot let her foot off Lapis. Lapis wrapped herself around Peridot and flew off.

"Oh, isn't that just swell?! Peri-Bitch's back and took over my saddle. And now we have to walk back home?!" Ruby ranted.

"Quit your complaining, Rubes. We ain't got legs for nothing. Let's go already." I push Ruby forward.

"Man, I didn't have legs just so I could walk. I got legs so I can straddle someone while they walk." She muttered.

"Move it. If we hurry we can get back before anyone realizes we're gone."

And so we headed back home, many complaints swarming Ruby and many agitations tormenting me.

We weren't even a step up the stairs when Sapphire bursts out the door.

"Ruby!" She exclaims.

Falling down on top of Ruby, Sapphire hugs her unfaithful mate with the greatest of affectionate groans.

"Ok, well, maybe just one person will notice." I said.

"Wow, ya think?!" Ruby snapped back.

"Where have you been?! I've been worried sick!"

"Well, I-"

"Shh, shh, shh! It doesn't matter. You're here now and that's all that matters. I'm sorry for driving you away. Please forgive me."

"What? Sapphy, you didn't-"

"I did! I did, and I'm sorry. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!"

Sapphire planted several kisses on Ruby's cheek while Ruby resisted her forceful affection. A light emerged from them both as they slowly fused back into a single gem. From the light sprouted Garnet in her usual wear. Garnet, cheery to be whole once again, triumphantly lands back onto the coarse sand.

"Garnet. Finally back." I comment.

"Steven! It's wonderful t'be back. How long has it been since they fused?" Garnet asked.

"Not... too long."

"That's alright, then. It's just so great to be back."

"Nice to hear, G. Now, if you don't mind, I'll be going back to sleep to have Cookie Cat nightmares." I strolled up the stairs and grasped the doorknob.

Garnet, having leaped up the stairs, stopped me and asked, "How is everyone else?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, you know! Pearl, Amethyst...Lapis."

"Uhh, she's ok?"

"Great! Great!...to hear. So great."

"..And so is Peridot."

Garnet scoffed, "Whatever."

I stared intently at her, wondering what was her malfunction.

"Oh, uh, great! Nice. H-How's Bismuth?" Garnet hastily asked.

I open the door and answer, "I'm not too sure. Haven't heard much of her. Maybe she's just in her workshop."

As Garnet enters, I poured myself a glass of milk. Garnet, hands together, looks at me while I drink my milk.

"Y-You..umm..need something, Garnet?" I asked.

"Nope. Just fine." She responded.

I nodded my head and took the next minute to greedily smash through the drink. I faked a yawn and walked towards my room.

"Well, good night." I told Garnet.

"Night, Steven!" She said back.

Strange...she seems a little...off. Eh. Better than being fucking unfused, I'll tell you that. Least I can keep track of them better as one than as two gems. Hopefully we can work out the kinks the new Garnet's having by tomorrow.

I jumped in bed, pulled the covers over, and...noticed Pearl staring at me from the corner of the room.

"Oh, uhh...ahem...Sweet dreams, Steven?" Pearl stuttered.

"Get out, Pearl."

"But-"

"You're not watching me sleep! Not again! Leave, damn it."

"Grrr, fine! I'll just protect you when you aren't looking then." She walks out of my room, leaving the door open a little.

"Close my door, please!"

She closed the door, but instantly cracked it back open. I saw her protruding slightly out of the door, an eye piercing in.

"Just go to sleep, Steven." She whispered.

I grumbled to myself and pulled my cover over my head.

"This is your last night watching me sleep, Pearl!"

"Oh, are you already dreaming, Steven?"