Ruby released me as I fell straight down onto the beach. She then jumps off the porch onto the sand, aiming for me. I roll out of the way just as her gauntlet crashes against the beach. I slide very briefly against the coarse texture of the sand.

"Damn it, Ruby! You're still seeing her, aren't you? Can't you just be happy with Sapphire? Can't you just have a normal relationship? Can't you just let me stop helping you fuckers?" I shouted.

"Nobody said you had to get involved!" Ruby retorted.

~Ummm...~

Yeah, thanks a fuck ton, mom. You wanted me to help the gems, so that's what I'm doing, but what is given back in return? This mess. This gemforesaken mess.

~It's a process, Steven! This is the process. Please just fix this situation.~

Not like I have much of a damn choice.

"Ruby, I'm trying to make things normal again! I'm trying my damn hardest to keep us together, while you just fuck any gem that comes in sight."

"I-It's not my fault t-that I can't choose! It's not my fault for wanting more! I'm free to fuck whoever I goddamn please, with their consent. Stay out of my business!"

Ruby charged towards me, extending both her hands out. I tackled her onto the ground and held her down by the neck with my knee. I twisted her left arm around and grabbed her gemstone.

"Ruby, I'm not gonna reason with you anymore. Just relax and we can sort this out." I told her.

"What do you think you're doing?! Ahgg! Get off of me!"

"Here's your ultimatum: Either stop resisting right now so we can discuss this like the mature adults we aren't, or I rip your gem out and force you to recede back into it, where you can have some restrictive time to settle down."

"And here's YOUR ultimatum: Get off of me and take these hits or I rip your b-"

Well, no reason to let her finish that sentence. I removed her gem with one clean yank. She instantly disappeared back into her gemstone. I tossed her gem into the air several times.

"Sometimes, you just can't help the helpless." I mumble to myself.

~Yet here you are, proving it wrong~

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I'm a saint.

~Ehh.. more like hellish angel, but, we're going to take what we can get. So, when she comes back out of her gem, what do you think's going to happen?~

She's probably gonna fight me again. Not looking forward to that. Maybe I can have the other gems around to prevent that. In a perfect world, I'll have talked with Lapis, hopefully getting her to cut Ruby off, improved Ruby and Sapphire's relationship so Ruby stays with her, and then set my sights on the next gem to save.

~Which'll be?~

Hmm... Probably Pearl. I know she has her demons.

~You, sadly, don't know the half of it.~

Alright. Nuff of planning for now. I'm just gonna drop her off in her room and get Sapph-

"RUBY! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Oh fuck, Sapphire! Ok, new plan.

I ran up the stairs and approached Sapphire.

"Hey, Sapphire." I greeted her.

"Steven, do you know where Ruby went? She said she'd be in her room, but she's not there and it's a mess."

"Oh, uhh, that's actually what I wanted to talk with you about. See, uh, Ruby...fell down some stairs and went back into her gem." I explained, showing her Ruby's gem.

"..."

"..."

"...Stairs? She fell down...stairs?" Sapphire asked doubtfully.

"Y-Yeah, weird right? She must fell pretty hard or something, but I found her gem just below the stairs in the front of the house."

Sapphire snickered, took the gem, and said, "Oh, my poor, clumsy Ruby. After all we've been through, stairs is what makes you revert to just a gemstone?"

"Crazy. Must be some strong stairs."

~The fact that this is working disappoints me to incredible, yet limitless proportions~

Just go with it!

"I'll take care of her from here. Thank you for telling me, Steven."

"No problem. Also, Ruby wanted me to let you know that she can't wait to...uh... get to the center of your Icepop."

Sapphire blushed heavily, giggling to herself.

"W-Well, thank you again, Steven, for the, um, message. Heh heh."

"I'm not even gonna ask. Make she's taken care of."

"Oh don't worry. She will."

Sapphire turned away and headed to the room. Oh shit wait, the bra! I can't let her see that. I'm trying to save their relationship, not destroy it. Despite all the shit Ruby's given me, I still have to do her this favor.

"Wait up, Saph! Why don't I help you with cleaning up the room?" I abruptly asked of Sapphire.

"No need, Steven. I can take care of it." Sapphire replied.

"Really! I don't mind helping out a bit. I-In fact, uh... I-I was also wondering if you could tell me more about you two... you and Ruby, that is."

"Like what, exactly?"

Quick, Steven. A think of something reasonable and new. Something they haven't gone over before. Hmm.

"You know... stuff. Like... some stuff about you two. Little things. For example, uh, oh! Your favorite colors."

"...Mine is blue, hers is red. Bye, Steven."

Ah goddamnit!

~Wow, you're really bad at this.~

Yeah, yeah, I fucking know.

~Just tell her you owe Ruby a favor. Don't mention specifics.~

...Smart, smart. Ok...

"Actually, Sapphire. To be honest, I just want to clean the room because I owe Ruby a favor. Kind of have to, you know?" I tell Sapphire.

"Oh, so that's why. That's all you had to say. Well, if it's just a favor, then sure you can help."

Thank fuck. Now, to hide that bra.

~Just don't have any dirty thoughts while you're doing it~

As if, mom. You think I think about any of them like that? They're literally gay space rocks.

~Well...maybe? I can't read your mind.~

Ok, but you CAN though, so...

~Ok, so probably not, but things can happen. Horrible, sinful things. Don't let those things happen, you hear?!~

Alright, calm down. Trust me, I want to get this over with already.

"Coming, Steven?" Sapphire asked from inside the room.

"Sorry, I'll be right there!" I said, jogging to Sapphire.

She turns around to pick some clothes up off the ground and places them in the only dresser that didn't get knocked over from Ruby and I's scuffle.

"Ugh, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. My messy, messy, little ember. First thing we'll have to do after you come back is improving your living standards. *SNORT* Hehehe!" Sapphire said to herself.

I immediately rushed towards Lapis's bra, balled it up the best I could, and stuck it in my back pocket. Normally, after completing my main objective, I'd leave right away, but sadly, this won't work this time. It'll be suspicious if I leave now without helping clean this shit-sty.

"You know, Steven, things weren't always like this with Ruby and I. We could, at the very least, keep our rooms tidy and manageable."

"Of course. You two were perfect back then. Way back then."

"No, no. I don't mean that far in the past...Actually, it's a lot more...recent."

Sapphire's gleaming smile waned into indifference.

"In fact, I'd say we were really having issues when that flying water hussy dared to steal her from me."

Attempting to resolve this peacefully, I rebutted with, "Lapis may have been out of line, but she's not the end-all, be-all for you two's relationship. You two are stronger than that."

"We should be, but even I, blessed with this damned 'Future Vision,' never could've imagined such unpleasant and frigid attitudes we display to one another. I love Ruby more than anything, but...I just can't help but think she's in love with someone else."

Does...Does she know?

"Sapphire, she's with you for a reason. She loves you, even with you two's problems. She wouldn't do that to you." I lied, knowing full damn well that Ruby has literally done exactly what Sapphire fears.

"Maybe not. Maybe...not. Oh, these visions. So many telling me she's swinging leg for that..that...THAT SLUT!" Sapphire growled as she clenched some of Ruby's shirts.

"And those visions, as we all know, are possible outcomes. 'Possible' being the keyword here. It's not like it's true."

"I hope not. After all we both have been through...she could never-"

"She would never do it, Sapphire. Trust me."

"Perhaps I'm just overreacting. Rubies are loyal and upstanding gems, after all."

Boy, if that's true, our Ruby must've come from a fucked up kindergarten. Shit, with that description, she was probably near the Amethysts.

"Thanks for your reassuring words, Steven." Sapphire thanked me.

"No prob, bob."

"Who?"

"It's a saying. Well, one of the ones I use, anyways."

"What?"

"It's- Know what? Never mind."

After the final piece of clothing was tucked away in the walk-in closet, I sigh in relief. This fucking mess of a room is finally the same mess it was before.

"Ok, look's like everything's done here. I'll catch you later, Sapphire." I tell Sapphire, stretching a bit before making my way out.

Sapphire grasped my arm and said, "Wait!"

I turned around as she planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Thanks again for looking after her. I suppose I'll just have to keep up with her more."

"It's fine, really."

Sapphire closes the door after I walk out. Oddly enough, a deep pang of worry ran through me as soon as the doors were shut. What if Ruby blows this ruse and ends up revealing to Sapphire about the affair. This should work. Ruby wouldn't just tell the truth about her fucking Lapis. It's Ruby! So everything should fall into place.

Suddenly, I felt a hand creep into my back pocket and yank out the bra from within it. I yelped and sharply turned around to find a blushing Lapis looking away, the bra now behind her back.

"Lapis?!" I shrieked.

"T-Thanks, Steven. Wouldn't want...well...this lurking about." She motioned her right hand which clasped the bra tightly.

"You need to get your shit together. I can't keep covering for you two. You and Ruby need to end this NOW, Lapis."

"Don't worry about us. We'll...We'll figure something out. In the meantime, keep up the good work." She pat my head near the end of her sentence.

I swat her hand away in disgust.

"I should just fucking snitch on you two asshats and ruin both of your relationships. Better be grateful that I'm too stupid to not help."

Lapis sighed, almost painfully. It was like she actually felt remorse for screwing Ruby behind Sapphire and Peridot's backs. Like she had a heart.

"I didn't want things to get this extreme, you know. Just wait, for my sake, ok? I'll see what me and Ruby can do."

"Not too reassuring, given you twos' history."

"I'm not trying to make you comfortable, nor even convince you that I'm going to make things better. What I can say is that I am trying. I'm trying something, ok? Please, just give me time. I promise that Ruby and I will stop having these...um."

"Fuckfests?"

"Affairs."

I figured this was the best I was getting out of her for now. Goddamnit all! She chooses now to have a conscience and I, of course, become weak towards it.

"I'll give you some time. Some time. Not a lot, not plenty, SOME! And I swear to god, if I have to find anymore of your bras, or underwear, or whatever, I'm beating both of your asses. Got it?" I asked.

"Thank you. You don't know what this means to me." Lapis smiled.

"It better mean a lot."

"It does, Steven. Truly. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got something to bend over."

"...Uh, do you mean you got something to straighten out?"

"..."

"..."

"No." Lapis says, cracking a slightly toothy grin.

And with that, she walked out of the house and flew off into the sky. She faded out of sight, behind the clouds hanging below the full moon.

"Ugh." I groan.

...

You know, it's at times like this I'd usually just say "Fuck it," and just give up. Let them sort themselves out. Stand idle. Do nothing...and it would always work out in the end.

~It's a miracle, Steven, that you can't take for granted. I doubt that my dear followers, my dear friends, would still be united together under such paltry, yet heavy events. It's thanks to you that they're all still together. Take pride in it. Continue keeping them together...please.~

Geeeeah! Ok! Ok. Fine. I won't stop now. I think I've helped those 4 out plenty. Who's getting saved next?

~There's no one else that poses an obvious emotional dysfunction.~

Obvious problems are the only problems that exist, mom. With that logic, it's a no-brainer as to why they're all like this. But I do get your point. Choosing at random would be better than nothing, I suppose.

~Then, perhaps you should help Pearl. She has to be bottling up something egregious and unspeakable.~

Yeah, no kidding.. If I had to compare her to one thing, she would basically be your worshipper...