AN: Formatting! I cannot express how much I hate it. This site is a pain. Anyways, I recently went back and stuck in another chapter way back there because I left a gaping hole between either chaps 18 and 19 or 19 and 20 (I forgot, sorry), so if you haven't caught up on that you may want to go back. Thanks for sticking with me, guys.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Trigger warnings.

Please review!!

The library felt like a sanctuary, glowing in the yellow evening as though it had been lifted straight through the dusty pages of a fairytale. A certain Remus Lupin had not hesitated to settle into a crook of the maze of bookshelves and pile more than twenty books around him. His novel fortress, however, refused to keep out pestering thoughts.

Remus sighed for the hundredth time--he was probably an old man by now--and looked over his book at Sirius, who looked half-asleep and half-dead.

But it wasn't his condition that scared Remus the most. It was his eyes. The usually stormy gray orbs were now empty. Unknowing, uncaring.

And Remus knew Sirius was in pain. Not only his body, but him. Him, the 16-year-old who awoke screaming during the night, who spent hours running, who ignored his friends and skipped his meals. Him, because he was shattered, breaking. Not the smiling Padfoot or the cold and indifferent Mr. Black, but Sirius, who was in pain.

Remus had tried to approach him, but his friend had always shrugged him away. Remus wanted to push him, wanted to make him come out, wanted to help him, but he didn't pressure his friend.

James, on the other hand, was a different story. Either he was raving madly about Sirius and Sirius' parents or pestering his friend.

Speak of the devil, Remus thought morbidly as he watched James storm up the aisle to him.

"I'm reading."

"I have to have a talk with Regulus. Will you be my reinforcement?" James demanded.

"Regulus? Reinforcement?" Startled, he gaped at his friend.

"This Sirius-ignoring-us-thing has gone on long enough. I need to find out what they did to him to make him like this. As for the reinforcements, Regulus might be with his little Slytherin cronies."

"James, we shouldn't meddle with Sirius' family. Whatever your good intentions are, your plan won't work out. It might even make things worse for him when he's sent back home." Each word hurt, as rational as Remus knew he was being. He wondered why sometimes people said the exact opposite of what they wanted to say. "I won't let you."

James frowned, tousled his hair, pinched the bridge of his nose.

Remus exhaled and cast another glance over at Sirius. "I know what you're feeling, James, but we can't help him until he lets us in."

"Let's go to dinner."

Slightly wary of the other boy's sudden change, Remus nodded hesitantly. Casting a last wayward look back to his book fortress, he headed out.

At the Great Hall, seeing Sirius had avoided dinner once more, Remus wrapped some food in a napkin and put it in his cloak pocket. Damn it, he wanted to hug that idiot so bad.

When an uncomfortable, arguably sad dinner had finished, James motioned Remus closer. Then, fixing his gaze on the other for a fraction of a second, James called, "Hey, Regulus!"

Oh, no. "James! STOP!"

Regulus halted. "What is it, Potter?"

"What did they do to Sirius?"

Regulus' shoulders straightened, lips tinned. "Why doesn't he answer that?" His voice was crisp in its dismissal.

A scoff from James. Remus' stomach sunk to below his navel at the fury in the hazel eyes. No one messed with angry James. "So you see it? And you just let it happen?!"

"I assume you Gryffindors would just jump at the chance to be brave, wouldn't you? Slytherins are smart, however, not like you who'll just jump right into a battle before weighing you chances." Slick, Remus couldn't help but think when Regulus cocked an eyebrow. "So yes, I do."

But this time it was Remus who couldn't keep his temper. Bile festered in the back of his throat. How dare this slick rat show his face in here after leaving Sirius to die? "What--is--wrong--with--you?" He punctuated each word with a hissing exhale. "You're his brother, asshat!"

Without another word, Remus turned and stalked off, James right behind him.

"Good job, Moony," Prongs said, his expression one of bizzare surprise. Remus could almost hear his thoughts: did sweater-loving, rational nerd Moony just call a Black an asshat?

Remus suddenly felt tired. He may as well pass out at this rate--the horror never seemed to end. He just wanted to envelop Sirius in his arms and keep him safe in a pocket of the world, never let him go again. Sirius deserved the whole universe.

He took the napkin from dinner out of his pocket and sat on his bed, waiting for Sirius to enter the room. Checking his watch every two minutes, he finally caught a glimpse of Sirius at four minutes past midnight. Remus rubbed his eyes and pulled himself to his feet, intercepting the teenager as he stumbled to his bed, nearly tripping over his own trunk in the dark.

"Here." He handed a now-steady Sirius the food-filled napkin. "You missed dinner."

He was immensely glad that it was dark; he didn't think he could bear seeing Sirius' shadowed, aching features when there was so little distance between them. Enough to move an inch and have their lips brush against each other's.

"Sorry," the black-haired boy muttered and took the napkin,

Remus frowned. "You don't have to apologize."

His friend shrugged uncomfortably, then winced in pain. He turned away, a flashing red sign screaming go away. Remus didn't.

"You can tell me," he said softly. "I would never report anything, I just want to know how bad...how bad your--he hurt you. And how to help you."

"So does James," Sirius scoffed drily.

"You know what James told Regulus?"

"Tell him what happens in the Black house stays in the Black house." Sirius abruptly pushed past his friend and pulled his bed's curtains around himself, leaving Remus standing in the dark, a heavy feeling settling in his heart.