Thirteen Day: Red

Written in 2015 (or 2016, idk it all blurs together).

"And all I do is drive! I just hop into my car, set the GPS and the money flows into my bank account. I love being a driver for–"

Sasori quickly changed the station, just wanting some music to numb his mind, not a radio commercial that he'd heard fifteen times before. But if he didn't find music to calm his mind, there was always the traffic light that was currently stuck on red that he could stare at as he waited for the light to turn.

With multiple factors in place, comfy car seat, air conditioning, and music just loud enough for his liking, he could fall asleep at his wheel. Fourteen hour work days weren't necessarily his favorite and sleep sounded as easy as breathing. Unfortunately, he was by a club that had bass strong enough to make his car shake, making him unable to rest.

He continued to wait for the light to change to green, as a door from the club opened, letting music blast into the streets. Checking in his rearview mirror, Sasori saw four people stumble out of the club, all standing on wobbly feet, except for one who was being held up by two people, their head down.

As they walked towards Sasori's car, the tumult of their conversation followed them until one of them yelled and pointed at his car. "Oh, my Jashin, he's here already! Guys, I told you this fucking app is awesome!"

Sasori's tired eyes narrowed at the man who was running towards him and he reached over to make sure his car was locked, but in his dreary haze, he unlocked the doors in the process. Only when the passenger door opened did Sasori realize his mistake.

"Hey, man, thanks for getting here so fucking fast," the man exclaimed, a large sloppy grin on his face. "Our friend got his ass wasted and now he has to go home, but like fuck we ain't driving!"

Sasori opened his mouth to correct the man about the situation, but he continued.

"Anyway, his roommate is home, so if you can get his ass to the door, that shit will be golden." The man then produced his wallet and took out a bill. "Here's a tip for getting here so fucking fast and helping us out." He tossed a twenty onto the passenger seat before closing the door, while someone opened the back one.

"Wait, wait, no I'm not a driver. I'm just waiting for the light!"

No one listened as they managed to deposit their passed out friend into the back seat. "Thanks again, man!"

Sasori had already unbuckled and he was getting ready to chase after them so they could get their friend out of his car, but they were already heading back into the club, and like hell Sasori was going to leave his car alone with a stranger inside.

The light turned green.

Sasori didn't go. It was late enough that no one else was out, so he stayed where he was and went through his options. He had no reservations about kicking the guy out onto the street, but considering that he was drunk and passed out, he would be unable to defend himself. Well, it was the idiot's fault for having shitty friends who would ditch him in the first place.

Thinking quickly, Sasori found somewhere to park a block over and carefully contemplated what to do, but considering his mind was mush, he wasn't getting very far. Maybe he could wake up the stranger and see if his friends would take him back? It was worth a shot.

He looked into the backseat and saw the stranger laid out across the whole backseat, one leg scrunched up near the door, and the other practically on the floor. A mess of long blond hair surrounded the stranger's face, but the clothes suggested he was male. Sasori began prodding him. "Hey, get up," he ordered, before grabbing hold of his arm and shaking him. "You have to get out of my car," he said, the words nearly a whine.

The stranger responded with a snore.

Sasori left him alone as he thought over what to do next. Well, he sure as hell wasn't going to take him back to his place, but he wasn't going to set him up at a motel either. Perhaps, he could drop him off in the Emergency Room, say he had taken drugs, not knowing which ones, and drive off. They would realize pretty soon that he was just drunk and bill the guy a fortune for an IV. That sounded like a good idea.

Sasori started heading for the nearest hospital.

Five minutes into the drive, Sasori heard groaning in the back seat and what sounded like retching. He looked into his rearview mirror to see the man trying to get up, back beginning to arch like a vomiting cat.

"Oh, my God, no no no no," Sasori barely checked over the streets as he quickly parked next a fire hydrant and got out to pull the man out of his car so he could throw up in the street. But as he tried to heave the stranger out with hands under his arms, Sasori's pants were covered in a neon green bile, the color probably due to whatever the man ingested. Sasori had to try very hard not to drop the man head first onto the pavement.

He had a plan. That plan was to drop this man off and have someone else to deal with him. That was his plan. Not murder, because murder would get his ass dropped into jail, and he had a cat at home he had to feed. He had to do it for Snowball.

So very begrudgingly, Sasori heaved the man back into his car, who just flopped onto the seat with a groan. Next, Sasori got his gym bag out from his trunk and changed into his track shorts which weren't very appealing to the rest of his office attire, but it would do.

Once his puke covered pants were in the trunk where he could barely smell them, he got back into his car and began driving again. If it weren't for the man in his backseat, he would say that the night was like any other. Music varied for okay to bad, and most of the street lights were functional, and flashing rhythmically through his windows.

But Sasori nearly swerved into one of those light posts as hands came from behind and began choking him. Not even bothering to park slowly, Sasori slammed on his breaks and he felt something heavy hit the back of his seat before he heard a groan and the hands left his neck.

"Owie, un."

Sasori was heaving gently as he unbuckled and looked behind him to see the stranger clutching his face, while mumbling something incoherent.

"You're awake," he observed, and then the stranger looked up through his fingers, baby blue eyes peering at him, smudged eyeliner accenting the glare. Then the man was on him again.

Sasori got a good look at his face as the stranger snarled swears and curses at him. "You fuckin' bastard, tryin' ta kidnap me..."

The rest fell on deaf ears as Sasori did his best to keep the strangers hands away from his neck. He turned to kick the man off, his back hitting the horn while his arm bashed against more buttons, the stations changing as cd's began sliding out of the cd port.

Sasori managed one good kick to the strangers abdomen who just groaned and heaved out some air as he fell back into the seat and Sasori just prayed that the man wouldn't throw up again. Taking a moment to catch his breath, Sasori turned back around and quickly parked his car against the curb before taking his keys from the ignition and getting out of the car. He then went to the backseat door and opened it.

"I'm not kidnapping you, and now that you're awake, get out," he said gruffly, because he couldn't take someone who was conscious to the ER when they were clearly only drunk.

The stranger looked at him through a curtain of blond hair and scowled, arms wrapped around his abdomen. "Why... why am I in your car, un?" He mumbled.

"Your friends put you in my backseat because they thought I was your driver. Now," he said as he leaned in close enough to look intimidating in his track shorts. "You will get out of my car and call whoever you have to so they can deal with your drunk ass, because I did not just get out of my fourteen hour shift to deal with some random guy choking me while I drive." He stepped away from the door, and the man was frowning up at him. "Now. Get out."

"You... you're an asshole, you know that, guy, un?"

Sasori's eyes widened and he pointed to himself, saying incredulously, "Oh, I'm the asshole? You and your friends are the assholes! Who just puts their drunk friend into a random person's car?!"

The man was just grimacing at Sasori and didn't say anything, but his eyes lost focus once he saw Sasori's shorts. "What're you wearing, un?"

Sasori stopped his rant and looked down at his attire of a white button up and shorts before taking the chance to point at the stranger. "I'm wearing this because you fucking threw up on me. You can't even handle your liquor, seriously how old are you that you just throw up on whatever you feel like, you brat–"

"Oh, my God~" The man clutched his head and groaned. "You're so-so fucking annoying, un." He snaked a foot out onto the pavement and lifted a hand to grab the 'oh shit' handle in the car. "I'll fucking leave then," he muttered petulantly and Sasori nearly gave a sigh of relief. Finally, he could just go home.

That was until the man fell down face first onto the road and Sasori was unable to do anything but watch. He almost thought that he was passed out until a muffled scream came from the man.

Sasori considered his options once more... If he got him onto the sidewalk, he really could just leave him there.

"If I get you to the sidewalk, will you call whoever you need to so you can get home?"

The man practically slithered the rest of his way out of Sasori's car, face still on the pavement. He looked up and squinted up at Sasori. "Are you wearing underwear, un?"

Sasori decided then that he was leaving the stranger on the road, fuck his plan to help him onto the sidewalk.

Surprisingly, getting into his car and leaving the drunk man in the middle of the road was easier than he thought. Sasori was slightly off-track from his apartment because of his detour to the hospital, but it wouldn't talk long to get him where he needed to be.

Until he got stopped by another red light. Again, there were no cars in sight, but this time there wasn't a club next to his car, so he had no distractions from thinking as he waited. Sometimes waiting was the worst.

That man could be run over by now because Sasori was sure that there was no way he could move out of the street with how drunk he was. Maybe someone saw him and decided to help him out? But not everyone was necessarily sympathetic enough to care. Sasori was a prime example. He was the one who left him in the road in the first place.

It didn't take Sasori too long to get to his destination, which was where he left the drunk man in the first place. Guilt was a bitch, and it intensified when he saw a car just drive around the man he kicked out of his car. Quickly, but safely so he wouldn't run the man over, he parked next to him and got out of his car.

Sasori nudged his shoulder with the toe of his loafer. "Hey, are you still conscious?"

The man looked like a kid who had just been woken up from his nap. "Hey, shortie is back, un," he hiccuped and began laughing. "Your fucking shorts, man."

Sasori tried to curb his ire. "Can you just tell me your address so I can take you home?" He kneeled down next to the man and helped him sit up.

"I want a burger, un."

Sasori was really regretting that he came back. "Look, just get in the car."

The man then began struggling. "You tryin' to kidnap me again, un?"

Sasori left him alone and stood up. "No, but if you want help, this is about as much as you're going to get. If not, I'm sure that all of the cars passing by will just avoid your body while you take a nap."

That seemed to spark some awareness into the stranger who grumbled something and held his hands up. "I want a burger."

Sasori felt his head throb as he grabbed the sticky hands and pulled him up. "I'll see." Once the man was standing up all the way, Sasori unfortunately realized the man had a good five inches on Sasori's five foot six height. The man began stumbling towards him and Sasori had to keep him still with hands on his shoulders.

"Oh, you're short too, shortie, un."

"Shut up, and get in the car," Sasori growled as he began dragging the man to the passenger side of his car, opening the door and settling him inside. Once Sasori was in the driver's side he took out his phone and got the map out. "Okay, what's your address?"

The man mumbled something and shrugged as he began messing with the hair in front of his face and Sasori sighed in impatience. Finally, the stranger's whole face was revealed, and past the nasty scrape the man had on his forehead, he looked familiar.

"Do you have a wallet with your address on your license or something?"

The man just groaned. "Dude, I just really want a burger."

"Well you aren't getting one if you have no money, now where do you live?"

"Ugh, fucking ball buster, man, un. You're better when you're screaming." He began to reach around to his back pocket and he managed to pull a card out.

"You have no wallet?"

"I don't know, un," he drawled and Sasori quickly snatched the card from him to see if there was any information on it that could help. It was an employee badge to a local art store. Deidara, was printed neatly across the lamented card.

At least Sasori knew why he looked familiar.

"Your name is Deidara, right?"

The quizzical look he received also confused Sasori. "How do you know my name?"

"Jesus Christ," Sasori muttered. "Okay, now that I know your name, where do you live? Or do you have a phone on you?"

Deidara shrugged, eyes now closed like he was about to fall asleep.

"Hey," Sasori yelled as he began shaking Deidara's shoulders to keep him awake. This got Deidara's eyes to widen hysterically before they settled back into a squint at Sasori. "Where do you live?"

"Hm," Deidara hummed as he leaned his head back against the headset. "Uh, in a house. I think, un." He shrugged and began listing forward, but he caught himself with hands on the dashboard. "Asshole," he muttered. "Making your fuckin' car all turnry."

Sasori was close to pulling out his hair as he put down his phone, because Deidara obviously had no idea where he lived. For now, Sasori's best bet to getting this guy home was to just wait for him to get sober, because apparently Sasori wasn't a sociopath who was okay with leaving him in the street.

Giving a deep sigh, Sasori got his car into gear and began driving to the cheapest fast food place he could find. Deidara didn't seem to mind the motions of the car as he did before, but Sasori assumed that was because he was asleep. Five minutes later, they arrived and Sasori turned off the car.

He shoved Deidara roughly against the passenger door, while saying, "Get up."

This got Deidara awake again, but he looked worse than before if Sasori were to be honest. "Fucking hell, just let me sleep, man, un."

Sasori considered that option and realized it was probably better if Deidara stayed in the car while he ordered, so he wouldn't break something inside. But he really didn't want Deidara to break something inside his car.

"I'll get you a burger if you get out now."

That idea seemed to agree with Deidara, as he was struggling with the door handle not a second later. "Finally," he muttered. After Sasori got out, he helped the drunk man with his door and led him inside the twenty-four hour burger place.

The employees behind the counter looked panicked as they saw Deidara but Sasori just dropped him off in a nearby chair before he went to order. "Two number sevens, combo." He pulled out a few bills from his wallet and handed them to the cashier. The girl at the counter was putting in the money into the cash register when Deidara groaned.

"Is he okay?" She looked ready to call the cops.

"Yes," Sasori hissed. "He's just been complaining about food for a while now. It's been a long night."

Her eyes skimmed Sasori up and down. "I'm sure," she said warily.

As their food was being prepared, Sasori sat across from Deidara who was messing with the napkin dispenser.

"Do you feel like you'll throw up again?"

Deidara shook his head, bloodshot eyes stuck to the advertisement on the napkin dispenser. "I'm pissed, un... My friends are jerks."

Sasori gave a sigh. "Yes, I'm glad you realize that as well."

After a moment, Deidara looked straight at Sasori. "I'm pissed cause they couldn't get a driver who knows what the hell he's doing, un."

Once more, Sasori had to repress the urge to just leave Deidara, and take the food out of spite. "I hate to break this to you, but I'm not the driver they called. I was at a stoplight when they decided to throw you in my backseat." Another strong sigh. "I already told you this."

"Meh," Deidara said with a shrug, before laying his head on the table. "You're okay, I guess. Cute too, but I have to knock off points for yelling so freaking much, un."

"I think I'll live," Sasori retorted. A minute later their food arrived and they both began to dig in. The casserole that Sasori had planned on reheating was going to have to wait till the next day.

Deidara had no reservations eating like a pig, pickles and tomatoes falling out his burger due to excess special sauce, but he just picked those up and dipped them in ketchup before snacking on them. When he reached for his drink, he almost knocked it over and Sasori handed it to him. With a sip, Deidara groaned and pulled the straw away. "This isn't cola, un."

"It's water, sober up already," Sasori muttered before biting into his burger, albeit more neatly than Deidara.

They both finished their burger with ease, but Deidara looked like someone drizzled his hands and arms in various condiments, so Sasori sent him to the bathroom as he cleared their table. Two minutes into the wait, Sasori went to the bathroom to find out what was taking so long.

He found Deidara heaving into the toilet.

"Holy shit," Sasori hissed as he closed the bathroom door and locked it. "Why didn't you vomit before?" he exasperated, stepping close enough to see Deidara's hair almost falling into the toilet. Groaning, he reached over and plucked a few wet strands away before grabbing the entire handful that was still dry.

"I–I think this is food poisoning, un," Deidara muttered after a loud heave. He looked up at Sasori. "You aren't sick?"

Sasori made him face the toilet bowl again. "No, because I'm not drunk." As more regurgitated food splashed into the toilet, accompanied by Deidara's groans, Sasori turned on the bathroom fan and sink to muffle the noise. "They're going to be pissed when they find out so can you hurry up?"

"Don't rush me, un," Deidara sputtered, before spitting out the leftover saliva. "I'm done, let go my hair."

Sasori helped Deidara up, gave him a wet paper towel to wipe away the stray vomit on his face, and rushed him out of the bathroom. He didn't check, but he was sure that the entire toilet seat was covered in half-digested burger and fries.

As they left the establishment Deidara groaned. "What about my burger?"

"You know exactly what happened to your burger." Sasori got Deidara into the passenger seat again and managed to drive off just as a worker exited the restaurant, looking for them. "We're lucky we got away in time," Sasori muttered as he looked in the rearview window at the establishment. "Now where do you live?"

Deidara stared out the window for a good minute before saying. "The waterfront looks amazing at night. It's like a light show, un."

"That's nice, where do you live?"

"I'm not telling you, creep, un." Deidara stared at Sasori, incredulous. "Stop asking."

"I'm asking so I can go home," Sasori retorted, eyes straying from the road. "I can't take you home with me."

"Oh, so you get to know where I live, but I don't get to know where you live? That's fair, un."

"Fine," Sasori muttered. He pulled into an empty parking lot and turned the off the car. "I'm not wasting another vapor of gas on you."

A nearby traffic light turned red, stopping another car in the empty street.

Deidara stared at the window. "You won't even roll down the windows, un?"

"If you want fresh air, go outside," Sasori said.

Finally, Deidara looked over at Sasori in wonderment. "I don't know your name, shortie."

Sasori sucked his teeth. "I don't think you need to know that."

Deidara scoffed. "And you want to know where I live, un..." He stared at Sasori for a bit longer and his eyes went wide. "I know you! You're that guy who always buys varnish at the store."

Sasori's brow twitched and he decided to entertain Deidara for a bit longer. "Yeah, so what, I buy a lot of varnish."

Patting Sasori's shoulder, Deidara laughed. "Yeah, a buddy of mine who works with me said that he thinks you're making furniture, un." Deidara stared at Sasori with intensity. "Are you?"

Exhaling slowly, Sasori allowed himself to relax. "No, I am not making furniture. I actually make puppets."

Deidara gave an exaggerated shudder. "Freaky, un. Do you give them dresses and curl their hair?"

"No," Sasori hissed. "They aren't porcelain dolls, they're puppets and do more than just look pretty."

Deidara struggled with his seatbelt and Sasori undid it for him. The man got comfortable in his seat so he could look at Sasori properly. "I actually saw some weird puppet things on display at the university. One looked like a freaking lizard and the other one had three eyes, un! In a triangle!"

Sasori didn't know why this was so shocking to Deidara, but he humored him. "Congratulations, you've seen some of my work."

Deidara's eyes went wide. "Oh," he drawled. "So you're that puppet freak." After a moment, his eyes narrowed. "Bastard, you've been taking up that display case for an entire term, un. The school won't let me display my art," he grumbled.

Sasori didn't want to admit it, but this was starting to interest him. "Do you go to there?"

"Nah, I used to, un." Deidara smiled crookedly. "What about you? You must, if your shit is still there."

"No, it's been a couple years, but they still let me display some of my puppets if no one has anything to show."

Huffing, Deidara leaned against the seat. "And they tell me that the student's art comes first, un. That's bullshit."

"For you it is," Sasori replied, allowing himself to let loose a smile.

Deidara didn't say anything for a moment, still staring at Sasori who returned the gaze. "Even though your puppets are little ass goblins and take up space, you win some points back, un."

"Is the grand prize knowing where you live?" As much as Sasori was starting to enjoy the conversation, he was extremely tired.

"You get another point if you tell me your name, un," Deidara replied, grin now shit eating.

Sasori thought that Deidara sucked at flirting, but he conceded. "My name's Sasori."

Deidara hummed obnoxiously, leaning further into the seat and rubbing his face against it. It was a reminder to Sasori that he was still drunk. "Sa-so-ri, un. It rolls off the tongue." Deidara peaked at Sasori through the curtain of his hair.

"What does another point win me?" Sasori inquired, curious enough to see if Deidara came up with something helpful.

Deidara sat up and leaned towards Sasori. With a smirk, he purred, "A kiss, un." Before leaning in.

And as much as Sasori was beginning to enjoy Deidara's company, he was not about to kiss a drunk man he had just been introduced to, especially not after such a long night.

He stopped Deidara with a hand to his mouth. "With the number of times you threw up, that is not a very enticing reward. Also," He pushed Deidara back into his seat, but gently, considering the man was pouting. "You're not in your right mind."

Deidara scoffed and looked away from being rebuffed. "You act like a drunk make out is the same as stealing someone's virginity, un." He practically sneered at Sasori. "Or you don't swing that way."

"It's rude enough to assume that someone is gay, as well as straight just because you got rejected," Sasori mused. "Think what you want, I just don't want to taste your vomit."

Deidara shrugged and yawned. "Your loss, shortie, I'm a great kisser. Could probably get you to ignore the throw up, un."

"I wouldn't doubt it," Sasori mumbled, feeling his lids grow heavier. "I'm gonna take a quick nap, okay?"

"Yeah, un," Deidara replied, crossing his arms and resting his head against the seat once more. "That's cool, just wake me up when we get there."

Sasori made sure his doors were locked before curling up in his seat to rest briefly.

–

Knock knock!

Sasori groaned, brow furrowed angrily. "Shut up." Another knock. "I just fell asleep," he whined.

A voice accompanied the knocking. "If you continue to sleep here, I'm going to have to arrest you."

That got Sasori's eyes to pop wide open, and he sat up quickly with a gasp. "Wait, what?" He looked out the window to find police officer standing by his car. "I didn't mean to fall asleep, I'll leave," he assured as he fumbled with his keys.

"Your friend okay?" The officer pointed to the passenger seat.

Sasori looked over and found Deidara snoring against the window. He looked even worse in the early daylight, hair matted (some with vomit), eye makeup smeared, and drool dripping from his mouth. He was probably still drunk. Giving a quick nod, Sasori said, "Yeah, we had a long night."

"Been drinking?"

Sasori gave a small chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. "He has been, but I'm just driving him home. We got tired after a couple of burgers."

The officer hummed and took a step back. "I hope I won't see you again."

"Ah, likewise," Sasori replied before turning the ignition and driving off. Deidara only managed to wake up when Sasori shoved him roughly against the passenger door. "Wake up," he ordered, feeling worse than the night before. Sleeping in a car was not ideal, and his whole body ached at being crunched up. Sasori berated himself for not moving to the back seat while he was still conscious.

Deidara inhaled sharply and sat up to survey his surroundings, finding Sasori with relative ease. "Oh, hey... I forgot your name, un."

Sasori gripped the steering wheel, the material squeaking in his hold. "This is my last nice deed for the day. I'll drive you home, or I'm kicking you out now, so tell me where you live."

"Yeah, yeah okay." Deidara looked out the windshield. "Oh, we're close. I live on Ivy, un."

"You live that close," Sasori questioned, wanting to smack Deidara. "You piece of shit, we slept in my freaking car. My cat didn't get fed last night because you–"

"Sasori, you're name is Sasori and I remember that you bitched all last night, un," Deidara muttered as he brushed his hair back. "Fuck, my head hurts."

"And I'm going to bitch some more because–"

"Yeah, yeah my friends are douchebags for putting me in your car, but you didn't have to drive me around, un." Deidara yawned. "God, my mouth tastes like ass."

After a moment of silence Sasori saw that Deidara was staring at him from the corner of his eye. "What?" he snapped.

"You're a lot cuter than I remember, un."

"And your compliments mean jack shit, even when you're sober."

Deidara laughed, confident as he spoke. "Well, thanks for taking care of me, man. Can I make it up to you, un?"

"Pay for my gas, never talk to me again, and I'll be peachy keen," Sasori listed as they got stuck at a red light, one block away from their destination.

"I can give you a discount at the art store, un?"

"After last night, you've lost a customer."

"I doubt it, we're the only store that sells your favorite brand of varnish. Dinner then?"

"I gave you my offer," Sasori said, and the light turned green. "Also pay me back for the burgers."

Deidara whistled lowly. "You're hard to cater to, un." The man continued to smile softly. "Dinner, I promise it'll be good. I'll pick you up, and pay for everything, I swear, un."

"You're persistent," Sasori muttered. He pulled onto Ivy and Deidara pointed out a small yellow house. "Give me a reason why I should bother with you?" Sasori parked next to the curb.

Deidara shrugged and smiled slyly. "You've put up with me so far, what's another night?" Deidara found a pen in Sasori's cupholder and grabbed the man's hand, scribbling down a series of digits. "If you don't want to, don't call me, but if you want dinner, hit me up, un."

Sasori didn't say anything, not wanting to give him anything else.

Deidara let go of Sasori's hand, still smiling. "And you don't have to, but feel free to wear the shorts after dinner, un." He winked and exited the car, leaving Sasori slightly flustered.

While red in the face, Sasori drove off, and ignored the fact that he was doing well not to smudge the phone number on his palm.

What a love story. Deidara loves telling it, especially at his and Sasori's wedding reception.

Goes something like, "I would like to thank my piece of shit friends for dumping me into a strangers car, really appreciated that, especially because I got to meet my future husband, who didn't kick me out and bought me a burger. Love you, my man, un!"

There are some WIP's after this but like before… they aren't finished and or I need to finish other chapters first sooooo yeah idk when I'll post again lol

Review?