Chapter 3- Galen's Order
Transport Tube - Aboard the Excalibur December 23, 2269
Like a third wheel on a date, Gideon watched the two technomages staring at each other with shifting expressions. They might look very different but the secrecy clearly universal among them. It figured that they'd leave him out.
"I hate to interrupt your reunion but I'm going back to the bridge. Galen, as soon as he coughs up telemetry on the Drahk, forward it to the bridge."
"Already done Matthew. We will be in Medlab should you need me to come up and hold your hand."
After what he said to Galen on the tram ride to the hanger, he had Galen's snideness coming. It almost felt like old times, almost. The new technomage seemed to have a restorative effect on Galen. As Gideon double timed back to the bridge gritting his teeth, he hoped that was a good thing.
#
Fed watched the Captain of the Excalibur leave. He didn't looked pleased to have Fed around, and the looks he gave Galen, made Fed wonder if they had just had an argument. Fed gingerly said, "He's more ... rough around the edges than I expected."
"He has his charms and we are here as well," replied Galen, standing and indicating to a door.
It had been a couple years but Galen looked and acted the same- aloof, in control, sure of himself. No answers there. "Aren't you curious about why I'm here?" Relaxed, Fed walked into what must be the infirmary of the ship.
"Actually, I'm immensely curious, but my tech can sense your pain, it's leaking into our link, and frankly I'd rather spare myself. You hid it well from the Captain though." What pain, thought Fed. Oh ya, he turned it off almost as soon as the plasma hit his skin. The sick-making smell of burning skin was enough, knowing it was his…. well, there were some serious downsides to this hero stuff Galen pulled off regularly.
His musings sputtered out when a beautiful woman walked out a back office and introduced herself as Dr Sarah Chambers. Like a book laid out to the right page, Fed read her- smart, bossy, generally human shaped. Exactly his type. Fed didn't catch anything she said expect, "… you'll have to remove your outer clothes, please." If he had a credit chit for every time he dreamed about a woman ordering him to take off his clothes the last couple years, it'd be enough for … something fancy anyway. The cold scratchy wax paper tunic she handed him to wear however killed the fantasy.
Galen said, "Doctor, may I speak with you?"
"Sure, I need a few things from my office anyway." The moment they walked away together, Fed began to strip his clothes, creating a heap. Gripping the grotesque wax joke of a shirt, Fed loathed the idea of putting it on. So he didn't. It felt good to feel the recycled air tussling the little hairs of his torso. It was the most action they'd seen since Hekuba dumped him last year. Thank the velvety Jesus painting for the occasional pity fuck Optima and Curenna threw his way, or he'd be as celibate as Galen, he assumed. He looked down at his own body. It had not been a good couple weeks. Curious he reactivated the pain center in his brain with a command issued to his tech using his geometric spell language. The tsunami of pain made him stagger. Unsure whether he'd throw up first or black out, he threw another command at his tech, to slam shut his pain registry. Phew. Definite downside to being a hero.
How am I going to talk Galen in to coming with me? Where do I even start? Trust him with the truth, his instincts told him. He could hear Hera's voice berating him already like she did when he learned technomage art of manipulation as an apprentice:
Stop blurting things out Fed! In a technomage, frankness- having a policy of truth as you say, means you've failed before you've started. Things work out best when you control what is true. The core must have just enough truth to be believed, then you can fold the lies around the edges.
He didn't agree with her than, now he wasn't so sure, but she was right, about him tending to blurt things out. As a member of the Circle he knew too much. He'd have to be extra careful talking to Galen not to let cats out of bags. The real problem- Galen was much smarter than Fed, and he might give away the bank without even realizing it. Still he had to try, this was too important.
Time to get to work. Closing his eyes he augmented his hearing to ease drop on the conversation in the small office. He caught Galen, speaking mid sentence.
#
The doctor wasn't happy, Galen thought as he watched her frown at his words. " …most thorough exam of him and let me examine your findings. He tried to hide the extent of his injuries from me and I want to know why."
"As if I could hide the information from you, but since you condescended to ask, I'll let you know when I'm done."
With a tray of instruments and several vials, Dr. Chambers and Galen walked back to find Fed standing in the middle of the room facing them, naked. The burns- on his neck, shoulders and a narrow band from the top of his chest to his lower abdomen. They didn't look too bad, thought Galen. Only small areas looked melted through all the skin layers. But other injuries covered him- the large scabbed over slash across a thigh, a bite mark from something far larger than a man on a shoulder, faded greenish bruises on the shoulder. Last, not an injury, on his left pectoral muscle, in small runic script, the tattooed phrase One of Us hid under the coarse thick hair on his chest. With his arms casually at his sides, it took Galen a moment to notice Fed's left hand was missing. This was serious.
Galen sighed. "Really Fed, you could have left on your underwear."
With a bemused expression Fed sent a response. /But then how will your hot doctor do her most thorough exam./
/Eavesdropping? How unbecoming./
/Not for me. I have nothing to hide Galen. These injuries aren't important./
/We will see. Tell me everything./
Doctor Chambers handed Fed a drape. "Well at least you're not a shy one. Lie down and cover yourself up with this."
"Too bad, I was enjoying the air," said Fed reclining onto a Medlab bed.
"Do you need a painkiller?" asked Dr. Chambers.
"Sure, for Galen's sake," said Fed. His eyes twinkled with humor at the doctor, who puzzled at that before injecting something in his neck. With her fingers applying small patches to the worst of the burns, Fed seemed riveted by the doctor's work. Galen watched Fed's heart rate and galvanic skin response shoot through the roof. Unbeleivable, he's enjoying himself, was all Galen could think. Loosing his patience Galen sent a prodding message.
/I can leave you two alone if that is why you came./
That snapped Fed to attention. "What? No!"
The doctor stopped. "I'm sorry did I just hurt you."
"Um, no. You have a lovely, umm … deft touch. It's all good." /Hold on. I need to get a grip before I embarrass myself./
Galen crossed his arms and tapped his foot with impatience until he received another message from Fed.
/How much did you see last time you were with us?/
/Everyone seemed to be running about pointlessly busy. New lab levels, the hydroponics garden massive expanded, a practical forest. I enjoyed the new pool quite a bit./
/Ya that was me, I modeled it on the one at Disneyworld Proxima. The rest, Hera's got us brute forcing a solution to our whole lack of tech situation./
/A fine solution for cracking a problem, given infinite time. A foolish choice considering the actual practical considerations./
/Desperate times and all that, but ya I agree. I've argued a lot with the others that we need to leave the hiding place, and look outwards./
/I have a hard time picturing that./
/I know. What can I say? The power went to my head./
/Wait let me guess the Circle's response. I love this game. They humbly admitted their mistake and thanked you for you're efforts./
/Exactly, except for the part where I was censured, and Herazade threatened to boot me from the Circle
if I kept at it./
/That sounds like the Circle I know and love./
Fed broke into chuckles while Galen's somber feeling grew. His hope for the Order having any future at all, dimmed. Dr. Chambers stopped long enough to say, "The least you can do is let me in on the joke."
"It wasn't actually funny," said Galen. /Are you the reason why Gwynn's little group was bumbling around outside of the hiding place./
/Not exactly. We all agreed to send Kane, Gwynn and Finian to Centauri Prime. They were given strict orders - no REDRUM, to only collect supplies, observe and relay information to the Circle./
/You should have told me about them. Kane might still be alive had I known./ The warmth coming from Fed vanished as he grew silent and distant. Galen should have resisted the I told you so. It would not bring back the dead, but Galen guessed Fed at least had the potential to become the better leader the Order desperately needed. Long ago, Galen gave up on Herazade ever leaving behind her controlling paranoia. Lost, Fed didn't answer him. Galen pushed him.
/Is the Circle aware that they are doing more? They are involving themselves in planetary affairs./
/Let's just say after Kane was killed by the Drakh, I explained to Gwynn and Finian that when it comes to dealing with the Circle it's easier to say sorry then to ask for permission. I learned that from you by the way./ Perhaps there was a sliver of hope for the Circle after all.
Looking far away, Fed smiled sadly. /Kane used to call my parties, the gathering of Galen's Order because most of us, for lack of a better phrase, looked up to you. We talked a lot about rejoining the universe, how we'd use our powers for good and you./
Ah yes, this feeling. The embarrassment that came with being the center of attention for being the freak. To know he had been a frequent topic at Fed's infamous parties made it all worse. Those affairs were something to break up the monotony of living inside a large rock or to be avoided at all costs in Galen's case. He'd received many invitations, before Fed seemed to wise up to the fact that Galen avoided them like one would an ebola outbreak.
/I'll have to take your word for it, I am not fond of affairs that are all talk and no action./ Galen regretted his words as soon as he sent them.
Fed laughed out loud. /There was plenty of action. Drinking, games, vids, and plenty of … Aky used to call it fun without pants./ Galen groaned, at the conversation not worth having. The message kept flowing, /It took a life of it's own, you know. I kept tract. There are 38 of us in Galen's Order, including Finian and Gwynn, if you're wondering./
Galen felt his patience slipping. /Let me see if I understand. You've created some sort of technomage subgroup, in my name, selected by you, populated with drunkards and libertines./ Galen mumbled to himself, "The universe must be playing a joke on me." /What is it you want of me? To come back and lead your merry band in some sort rebellion?/
The hurt and shock plain on his face, Fed sent, /No, nothing like that. You know Galen you're really hard to talk to./
I've been listening to your rambling long enough to qualify me to sainthood, Galen wanted to answer.
Instead he sent, /This has been nearly interesting but I hope there is a point to this./
Fed combed his fingers through his thick black hair, making it somehow look better for it. Not immune to his handsome charms, even the doctor stopped and stared at Fed's unself-conscious grooming.
Dr Chambers said, "I … I don't mean to interrupt whatever is going on but I'm finished. Try not to move for at least four hours. I'm sorry, but I can't do anything for your hand. We don't have any prosthetics onboard. I'll be in my office if you need me." Grabbing Galen's attention with her head jerk toward her office, the good doctor slipped away.
Galen picked up Fed's left arm and began to scan the stump. It looked cleanly done and well healed.
"What happened to your hand?"
/The Vorlon homeworld happened to it./
The shock registered as if Fed had handed him an exploding grenade. "Well done. You had my curiosity now you have my undivided attention." This could not be true and called for a cross examination. /Their realm is impenetrable, last I checked./
Fed shrugged. /It was until a few weeks ago. Let me tell you it's a real let down once you land. It's cold, creepy, smells bad. There are wall to wall traps and hordes of things that want to bite you./
/How did you manage to even enter their realm, let alone land on the surface?/
Squirming in place, Fed looked pained in a way Galen had never seen before. The meat of the matter was about to be revealed.
/One of the Order is there./ A vague answer and a matter that made Fed uncomfortable to discuss. This would be much more than diverting, he realized.
Galen thought of his last face to face encounter with a Vorlon, Ulkesh, and it's last words to him, When it suits us, you will all die. The Circle never heard that threat. Could they be making good on it after all these years? He needed more information and with Fed suddenly playing his part, the quiet thoughtful one, he would have to dig it out of him. /Who is it?/
Automatically, Fed's good hand rubbed his spine on the back of his neck. Odd reaction. /Do you remember that accident after we became chrysi's./
/The Order has had a great many accidents. The nature of our interests and lives guaranteed a parade of them. Which one? /
/In '56. Herazade's first assignment when she joined the Circle was to investigate it./
With a touch to his tech, it contacted his ship which provided the official Circle statement. /I have her summary - Three mages- Rhea, Coeus, Tomoe, accidentally blew themselves up looking for … a vague and unspecified artifact on Valen's Rest. There was … dna from all three, and … plenty of ship debris. Conclusion: … Vaporization … demolitions improperly handled ... triggered by unexpected seismic activity./ Galen knew where this headed. The core of truth, lies hidden in the details. /Wait let me guess. Herazade covered up some hideous little secret./
/Wow Galen, you got in one./
The indignation built in Galen. His parents dying had also been labelled an accident. The truth too ugly to face, that they had fought and caused the accident that killed each other and innocents. And now another little ugly secret swept under the carpet by the Circle. The Order's carpets were so lumpy the only surprise was there was any room for more under it.
/What was the truth?/
/The artifact hunt was just a cover story to hide what really happened. Coues, was Rhea's master and father, they were obsessed with the Vorlons, they collected any Vorlon junk they could get their hands on, and Tomoe made her home on Valen's Rest. So it made sense. The truth. Kell sent them to deliver a message to the Vorlons, who reacted like this.../ With a wave of his good hand Fed, a vid spooled in his hand.
Three Vorlon fighters exited hyperspace and glided to orbit above a white green world. They orbited serenely until one unloaded a glowing sphere that streaked down to the surface. The precise orbital strike looked like a tiny dying star. The image cut out to static.
/In Hera's defense, even Kell thought they were dead and all he told Hera was they were in the wrong place doing wrong things. Hera assumed he meant they were grave robbing or desecrating something and got killed as punishment. The truth is Vorlons met them and took them prisoner. The orbital strike was to cover it up./
Galen added to himself, and Herazade wasn't clever enough, or was too trusting, to question Kell. Why did the old leader of the Order do it? This was around when the shadows first stirred. He must have been trying to make an alliance. After all, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Kell must have seen the obvious- the Vorlons as the best possible solution to the Order's many problems. Kell got an answer, a bloody no. And all it cost were the lives of three technomages. That pushed him to choose the uglier course that Galen all too painfully lived through.
/Who survived?/
/Rhea./
/And the other 2?/
/3/ Fed corrected him. /Another technomage, Roland who knew them well, didn't buy Hera's report. He kept at Hera until she spilled what little she knew about the Vorlon strike. He went after the Vorlons./ Another tech request to his ship, and the Circle's file on this Roland presented itself to Galen. He skipped to the end. The final entry by Herazade, listed Roland- Dead 2256, by suicide. Cause mal-adjustment to emotional shock. Another lie, another secret swept away. Galen began to pace. Walking made him think better. He fired off questions as fast as they came to him:
/What happened to the other three?/
/Experimented on, then, there is no other word for it- butchered./ No doubt the Vorlons did more. Nothing pleasant probably. And yet one left alive, very suspicious.
/How do you know this Rhea is real and not some sort of apparition or illusion?/
/I didn't believe it at first either. But her self image comes through the electron incantation perfectly. We tested her, all the memories are there anyway./ The Vorlons were the most powerful telepaths in the galaxy, ripping apart a mind for its memories, Galen guessed would be trivial for them. Yet, as far as Galen knew fooling an electronic incantation had never been done before. It would the first of its kind. A reason to hope, and clearly why Fed trusted so easily.
/Who tested her?/
/Myself, the rest of the Circle. Herazade and Gwynn both knew her well from before. They looked hard at her self-image signature and are sure it's her./ Not an astute or illustrious group for sure. Yet far from incompetent and the best the Order had apart form him.
/Why is Gwynn involved?/
/She finished her apprenticeship with Coeus and was the initial contact point./
/How?/
/A text message./
A disgusted sound slipped out of Galen. The obvious popped to Galen's mind. /Why would a technomage stoop so low when she can instantly communicate with anyone, anywhere. And for that matter why wait over a decade to contact us./ Fed squirmed about uncomfortably. He doesn't want me to know something.
/She's got a thing around her neck, and before you ask, we don't know what it is. Rhea says it keeps her from using her spell language, so she can't cast. With us in hiding, she had to improvise./ And there it was, Galen's mind began to repeat the mantra, It's a trap waiting to be sprung.
/Then how in the world did she gain control. Did the Vorlons leave their keys laying about with an owner's manual to their system?/
/No, but she's not stupid. She figured out their automated systems. Rhea showed us the way past the still very active and numerous defense systems. I was there Galen, she guided us in safely./
/How very convenient./ Like a spider welcoming you into her lair, all you had to do was get caught in the web.
/Convenience ended when we arrived in orbit. There is only one domed city left on the surface with a space elevator that stretches up to a small moon. The whole thing is covered with some sort of material that looks crystalline but simmers and pulses as if it's alive. It was completely impenetrable to us. I mean we spent two weeks trying to get through it./
/Who is with you?/
/Gwynn. She's been an overly eager beaver./
/Has she been harmed?/
/Not a scratch. Turns out I might not be very good at my job./ Fed chuckled at his own expense.
Galen went back to pacing. If it was a trap the time to spring it would have been when they landed. Galen turned it over and over in his mind wondering what pieces he missed. /What have you tried in order to get into the city?/
/Everything short of nuking it from orbit. I touched the substance of the dome, to try and scan it. It infiltrated my hand and attacked my tech, slowly consuming it. It hurt like hell./ Fed frowned at his stump, then seemed to shake it off like a sweater once you are warm enough. /Gwynn amputated my hand to stop its progression. Anyway, I've had a few more ideas about how to crack the egg open./
Galen knew the answer, /You want me to come and try my spell of destruction on it./
Fed said, "Two out of two Galen. You always were quick. My ship can get us there in two days."
Sitting up fully, Fed swung his legs over the side of the bed, retrieving his clothes. Clearly he thought the matter settled with Galen agreeing. This over eagerness caught Galen's attention. A piece had been left out.
/What are you not telling me?/ Fed froze mid-buckling the golden gear clasp of his thick black leather belt. With a huge sigh he leaned back against the examination table, shirtless.
"Can't get anything past you." /Rhea and I had a thing./ More vagueness, and there he rubbed the back of his neck oddly again.
/Like the sort of thing you've had with other women in the Order./
Fed shook his head yes. Fed smiled as he switched to speaking aloud. "Remember when I got into jokes." Galen groaned. Fed practically terrorized their cohort for months with daily messages loaded with cliched jokes and puns lifted from tired old books. "Like that but much more."
"How much more?"
"She um… broke me in. And like the idiot I am, I fell in love with her."
"Did she return this regard?"
"I thought she did but the last time I talked to her, she dumped me, so I'll go with a no."
An image of a worm at the end of a hook, with Fed the fish circling about it, came to Galen's mind.
"I'm sorry but I can not go with you."
Freezing in place Fed said, "What do you mean?"
Galen looked away, hating to disappoint. "I made two promises to Gideon. First the Excalibur carries the cure for the plague and I promised Matthew I would stay to guarantee we deliver it."
Fed dismissed that with a wave. "I've taken care of the only Drakh capable of stopping you. Nothing else can stop this ship. Not to mention the entire Ranger fleet and half of EarthForce is on it's way to escort you."
"You cannot be certain of that."
His leg began to bounce nervously, Fed demanded, "How long do you plan to stay onboard?"
Galen transmitted, /We arrive in the Sol system in three days. I will remain until the final transfer is made to one Dr. Franklin. Then second Gideon and I will go to Mars." Recoiling from the word, Fed reacted as if Galen dropped an ice cube down is back. More oddness Galen thought, but he kept outlining his plans. "I plan to help him find those who are responsible for the destruction of the Cerberus. This will be of interest to the Circle. Perhaps more important than your work on Vorlon. Just before we stumbled across the cure, I found discarded tech like what is implanted in us but disfigured or mutated. I believe someone is trying to create a version of, well us. I do not know much of significance. But the evidence points to a base of operations on Mars. I will let you know if I find anything specific that will benefit the Order./
As Galen spoke, he studied Fed's face. It morphed through different emotions: shock, anger, sadness, and finally, disappointment.
"I don't like the sound of this at all. How do you know about this supposed base?"
"That is a long story."
Fed snapped, "We have three days. Will that be enough?"
Letting out a long breath, Galen started slowly, "A short time ago, I discovered Gideon was in the thrall of an Apocalypse Box. Do you know what that is?"
"I wouldn't be much of a technomage if I didn't. The last one was suppose to have been destroyed 100 years ago."
"Apparently our records are imperfect. It had been giving him information while slowly feeding on his life energy. I confronted him and told him exactly what it was. He didn't care. He said he would gladly give up his life if it saves Earth."
The memory of yet another clash between Gideon and himself made Galen withdraw into himself. He stopped talking. Fed offered, "You decided Gideon's life was worth more." Fed nodded his approval. A tiny pang of joy sprung up in Galen as he realized another of his Order agreed with him. Such things were too rare.
"Of course! I told him it had to be destroyed immediately. It was in his quarters. Matthew tried to stop me."
Fed eagerly asked, "The technomage who destroyed the others ended up having to chuck not just the boxes but himself as well into the black hole at the center of our galaxy. They are almost impossible to resist. How did you deal with it?"
"As I approached it, the box spoke to me. It said I was just delaying the inevitable, that Gideon was destined to die. In a moment of foolishness, I responded flippantly that we are all destined to die, but that if I have a say in the matter, Gideon will die of a predictable terminal disease brought on by reaching an almost obscene old age. Once it had me speaking to it, the box immediately began to tempt me, and more foolishly I listened. It said all I have to do is leave it be, and it would tell me everything I desire- where to find the cure for the plague, how to keep our Order from ending, how to communicate with the dead. At that moment, I regained my senses and deadened my hearing and sight cutting off its tempting litany. I sent a sphere of destruction at it and that proved to be sufficient. (Galen let out a hard breath.) … After the smoke cleared, I saw it had burned something in the bulkhead, GO TO MARS. …
Galen fell into his memory.
Galen waved smoke away from in front of his face, to scan the ruined remnant of the Apocalypse box. Dead. For the first time, his eyes noticed on the bulkhead directly behind it, savagely scrawled into the metal, GO TO MARS. Galen thought Go to hell would have been a more appropriate curse from the box.
Astonished, Galen asked himself, "Why Mars?"
The fire suppression system rained water on him.
"Ugh!" Annoyed, Galen flicked a hand in the air and the water shut off immediately. He crouched down to Gideon lying unmoving on the floor behind him.
Placing a hand on Gideon's forehead, Galen ordered, "AWAKEN!"
Gideon moaned and feebly uttered as an arm slapped Galen's knee, "Galen don't … No! I can't feel it. No!… you already did it." With Galen's arm for support, Gideon climbed to his feet.
Shaking in frustration Gideon screamed, "The box might have been Earth's, humanity's only hope! How dare you play God! It was MY CHOICE you son of a…"
Gideon took a weak swing at Galen, but instead of fighting back Galen captured him in an embrace and gently whispered near his ear, "If I was willing to feed a man like you to a thing like that, humanity deserves a bad end. … The emptiness you are feeling will pass with time."
Gideon shoved Galen away and collapsed on his hands and knees weeping. Galen reached out to Gideon's prone form but stopped when pounding on the door started.
A muffled voice from Lt. Matheson broke through. "Captain! The security overrides have been engaged, we can't open your door. Back up. We'll have to blow it!"
Galen instructed the door to open. Six crewmen rushed in wearing fire-fighting gear, followed by Lt Matheson.
With a calm gesture, Galen said, "Everything is settled, there is no need for that."
Surveying the destruction, Lt. Matheson asked, "What happened?"
Sadly staring down at Gideon, Galen answered, "Something ended. Matthew … had a bit of a shock. Take him to Medlab. He should be well in a few days. I will be in my ship should you need me."
With his eyes open, Galen came back to himself when Fed asked, "Galen?"
"Where was I? … Oh yes, when Matthew regained consciousness and realized the box was gone, he said … nothing, just wept with frustration. Since then I've began to pay much closer attention to Mars."
Fed's eyes had grown wide. "Wow! You have the best stories. You know there is a reason why the Order called them Boxes of Lies. They only mean harm. If I were you, Mars would be the last place I'd go." Fed eagerly nodded yes at Galen.
No matter what happened, Galen knew with the same certainly that he would keep on breathing today, that he will go to Mars when the cure is safely tucked in bed with Dr Franklin. "I'm not done. Very soon after we encountered a ship identical to the one that I destroyed when we fled to the hiding place. We followed it to a secret base. I found the disfigured tech there. It had been embedded in patients from a Martian mental hospital. While I was distracted Matthew got himself into trouble and unfortunately learned about the source of our tech. I saved his life, yet again, but instead of saying, 'thank you my dear chap,' he confronted me on the flight deck, in front of the crew, including Dureena, and threw me off his ship.
"Dureena is your little thief right?"
"She is no one's little anything. The Shadows annihilated her people. You can imagine how she reacted to me. At least since then she's stopped asking me to take her on as my student." The universe's perverse sense of dark humor made Galen want to laugh and cry at the same time.
"Sounds like you've had a really rough time with them."
Cold control asserted itself over Galen. "I always expect the worst and I have yet to be disappointed."
"Gideon must have gotten over it, you're here now."
"I brought them the cure. Gideon is practical when he needs to be. Although now, I get the distinct impression I am on 'probation' with him."
Hesitantly Fed offered, "You know Mars can wait. Please Galen, just come with me."
Guilt nipped at his heels but Galen would not bend or apologize. Fed had to get in line and wait his turn. "I can not because Gideon will not wait. He'll get himself killed much faster if I am not there."
To Galen's shock Fed challenged him. "We can't just leave one of our Order trapped. We owe it to Rhea to come to her aid."
It almost felt good to be questioned. Fed was right, there was one way a Vorlon expedition would take precedence. "Is she in danger?"
Reluctantly Fed shook his head no. "Fine leaving her aside. This is an unprecedented opportunity for the Order. Imagine what we'll find and learn if we can just get in there."
What path could he offer Fed but that caution was the best approach. "I understand the enormous temptation. To know all that is knowable is at the heart of our Code. Yet if this is a trap, and yes I think that likely, perhaps that is what the Vorlons were counting on with this temptation."
With an almost audible click, Galen watched Fed lose his patience and cut him off. "No more Galen! As a member of the Circle, I can command you to come with me!"
Galen thought, Well, it took twenty years of knowing Fed, but at least now he saw what it took to get an angry reaction out of him. Could he be reasoned with? Probably. But he was injured. Let him recover more before we argue again. For now he must instill some caution into Fed's, and the Circle's, recklessness.
A sense of calmness flooded Galen., "Yes you can try to order me about, but I believe you know how well I listen to the Circle. I suppose you can always attempt to manipulate or force me to help you."
"No, I know better." Fed sagged in defeated.
Of all people, Galen hated to see Fed despondent. He had to leave him with some hope. "I can offer you my counsel at least. As soon as I am done on Mars I swear to you I will do everything in my power to help you. Now you should rest like the Doctor instructed."
Silently Fed finished dressing. Then laid down again. The despair and anger that had just sat on Fed like a cloak evaporated as he ran his hand through his hair. Acceptance seemed to come easily for him.
"Fine. There is a bunch of stuff onboard my ship you can look at. I have given you full access permissions."
"I will go then."
Galen stopped in Dr. Chambers office on the way out.
"What did you find?" A bit rude, he corrected himself, but that had been a hard conversation to have with an old friend and he was in no mood for niceties.
The doctor silently brought up a scanned image of a human male on her screen.
"Your friend must have had a rough time recently. The burns are the most recent injury. I couple bite marks form I don't know what, found a broken collar bone, a deep contusion, and even the remnants of a small subdural hematoma, consistent with falling at speed. All the injuries are healing very well but at slightly different stages, so my guess is they did not occur in one event. His hand though is a different story, it looks like a clean amputation, and I'd say skillfully done."
"That's enough doctor and thank you. Also when you are done…"
The doctor waved him away. "Yes, I'll erase these files."
Galen nodded and turned to leave.
Dr Chambers asked, "Is everything all right? I thought I heard raised voices."
Galen frowned. He had not thought to ward the area to make their conversation inaudible. The doctor seemed to sense his unease but still asked, "Did you argue?"
"A private matter doctor."
"I hope it works out. I'm sure it will with you involved."
Caught off guard by the praise, Galen didn't quite know how to answer. "It will not impact our mission."
"I'm glad you're around Galen." The verbal pat on the back felt wrong to Galen, yet at least someone appreciated his efforts.
#
Feeling indignant, Galen walked away from Medlab reviewing his conversation with Fed. Galen's Order indeed! Of all the ridiculous things I've seen and heard Fed do, that was the most preposterous… Thirty-eight … that was more than he would have guessed. If I were at all vain … He stopped in mid-thought and smiled slightly to himself, feeling almost flattered.
As he entered the elevator he stood by the far wall and said, "Nearest tube access point." The elevator sped downward.
He tiredly leant backward onto the cold metal and closed his eyes in repose. Vorlon. Yet another galactic sized matter that tugged at him. Curing the plague, safeguarding Gideon on Mars, dealing with the Drakh's growing influence on Centauri Prime, finding a way for the Order to survive, and, as if that wasn't enough, now Fed wanted to drag him into a certain trap on Vorlon.
As he took inventory of his responsibilities, Galen's anger escalated until tiredly he let out a harsh breathe. When will my time ever be my own again?!
The elevator door opened stirring him back out of himself. Galen entered the transport tube, sat in his usual spot by the window and commanded, "Docking Bay."
Staring out the window, Galen wondered, What would I do if every crisis suddenly disappeared?
Galen cast his mind back through the years, to before he was a technomage. All those peaceful happy years under Elric's tuteluge on Soom. His anger abated. And not far behind, thoughts of Isabel, the love of his life, raced through his mind. The happiest time of all was their quiet, few short weeks together. His soul stilled as it yearned, consumed by his desire to have that again.
Eventually Galen sighed in resignation and thought, but it will never be. Soom- destroyed by the Shadows, Elric and Isabel- murdered. Meanwhile, Fed seemed to be rewarded with everything. His old home, Proxima, prospered in the ISA. His old teacher, Herazade - alive, and the only real power left in the Order, besides himself. And if I'm wrong about Vorlon, the universe might be about to throw Fed into the arms of his oldest flame. The profound injustice of it hit Galen with full force igniting his anger again.
Then unbidden, his tech showed him an image of Dureena. A very different emotion filled him. Not this again. Every time she was near him, he had to assert his autonomic controls to keep his heart rate in check and to stop the adrenaline surges. It can't be… Not wanting to recognize it, he turned this feeling over and over trying to examine it from every angle- a sure facet of lust here, recognition of her soul there, comfort underneath, above- a sense of loss when not in her company. But it's so different then with Isabel. He knew within the first minute that he loved her. With Dureena … definitely not. He thought, She was my tool. I used her, more then once, to accomplish my goals. I chose her because I recognized myself in her, a repeat survivor with an indomitable spirit. And now he found himself in the middle of … something. When did it change?'
His tech again- An image of Dureena covered in mud handing him his lost staff. Yes, that was a shock. For the first time he noticed her. How exceptional she was. She invaded me then. A romantic would say, on that day, her knife hit more then just his shoulder.
Closing his eyes he let the memory of that instant flood him. Galen felt the pain and smelled the mud, blood, his blood, and the antiseptics of Medlab. Then her, striding in and handing him his staff. The moment he took hold of it, its comforting energy flooding him, and just for a split second while she still held on to, he felt it- her energy.
In his mind, he froze the image of her at that moment. So mud encrusted, she was more statue than living being. Like one of the classical works his mother used to show him when he was learning Greek as a boy, except Dureena was made of clay instead of marble. Still she was an Artemis returning from the hunt, while he, a mortal, struggling to keep his composure.
Back on the planet before Gideon had evacuated him back up to the Excalibur, she must have recognized his pain and deeper loneliness, and grief for what he lost when he flung his staff. Returning his staff - her offering of help and solidarity in the trials that lay ahead.
Galen focused again on the frozen statuesque image of Dureena in his mind. He let the image envelope and comfort him, but it fractured, and fell away as reality intruded. Then she learned about the source of his power, and that damn, thrice damned, sword. A wall stretching to the sky went up. If she knew the whole truth would it make a difference?
Galen chided himself, Enough. This was idiotic. Dureena deserved more than an emotional cripple like him. He must walk his path alone. The old familiar loneliness settled back around his heart like a favorite well worn coat.
When Galen opened his eyes, he realized his transport had sat still with the door open for who knew how long. He looked around in discomfort glad no one was there to witness is daydreaming.