The Saving of the Technomages

by Dekri

This is a technomage story. It covers Federico's coming of age and my take on what happens to the technomages after the Shadow War. The main connecting story starts in 2269 with a cure having just been found. NOTE: This story was moved to Archive of Our Own... /works/8291483

6. Command Not Found

Excalibur Docking Bay – December 23, 2269

Pilots, mechanics, and deckhands scampered about preparing fighters for launch. They went about with an intensity born out of a rumor, which shockingly was true. The Drakh fleet stalked them. And so the Excalibur nervously vibrated and hummed with activity.

Except for one bubble of perfect calm. No one dared to pierce that shadowy sphere at the end of the docking bay, where two technomage ships sat side by side. As they worked, the deck crew gossiped among themselves. Everyone agreed … technomages never moved openly unless the metaphoric shit was about to hit the proverbial fan.

But none of that concerned Galen. He stood inside Fed's cluttered ship near one of its three sleeping cabins. If this were his ship he would have a short, clear path to, well anywhere. However here, crates, random machinery, and objects with no discernable function beyond being in his way blocked his path.

Galen messaged Fed's ship while taking a circuitous route to his goal, Fed's private cabin. The normal disquiet settled over Galen's mind whenever he entered someone else's private space.

/Ship access sensor log system. Uplink all scans made of and around the Vorlon home system bearing any timestamp./

/Transfer commencing.../

A copious stream of files hit Galen. Carefully, he shunted it aside into his tech's vast storage for later perusal, because, astonishingly, as he opened the door into a small, disorganized bedroom, on the far wall beside the bed, looming and dwarfing everything else was a Vorlon encounter suit.

In many ways, it was the opposite of the last one he saw. Years before, he had sought out a Vorlon, UlKesh, to help him enter Z'ha'dum. Ulkesh's suit was an intimidating tool that oozed authority and power. This one not so much. For one thing, it looked like it had been dragged behind a shuttle through re-entry. Without any of the usual fabric that typically obscured its exact shape, Galen could make out dents, gouges and black scorch marks. While otherwise intact, its head had been detached and sat on a nightstand by the bed surrounded by a smattering of tools. Perhaps the Vorlon homeworld was littered with them and Fed brought one along to examine. But then why would he take one in such poor shape? Perhaps he discovered the equivalent of a Vorlon junkyard. Either way, this suit won't intimidate anyone ever again.

Then from somewhere by his feet an alarm blared interrupting his examination.

A robotic voice trumped, "Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!..."

The suit distracted him enough that he hadn't noticed the mechanical spider that scuttled out from under the bed when he entered. Galen's attention snapped onto it just in time to see it leap off a pile of unfolded clothes, into the air toward his head. His first instinct was to hurl a well-placed fireball.

Lucky for the adorable little homicidal robot Galen went with, "Down Po!"

The spider executed a perfect somersault in mid air, landed in front of Galen's boot where it promptly sketched something with its leading right leg on the tip of his shoe. Galen tried to kick it away but it avoided him easily, only to scuttle back under the bed.

/Fed, what did your spider just do to my shoe?/

/Isn't it great? That was its guarding mode. It also has servitor, patrol and entertainment modes./

/I'm still waiting for an answer./

/It just sketched the rune for friend in infrared ink./

Galen walked up to the Vorlon suit. Dozens of probing wires lead out of the hole where the head should have sat. Deciding the suit could wait, he sat down on Fed's unmade bed. Moving aside the many colored pillows, he found a small smooth ball.

Galen immediately recognized it. After the mages went into hiding, Galen noticed that Fed carried around a small ball that he would absentmindedly bounce rhythmically. One of the many parts of Fed's peculiar charm that immediately grated on his nerves. This appeared to be the same ball. Galen had always assumed it was just an ordinary ball, but with careful examination, he found a tiny access port through which he could associate.

/PWD?/

Galen provided the passphrase Fed had given him. It accepted it readily but nothing else happened, no system daemon presented itself, no visual interface, no text … nothing, but a single waiting prompt, like the earliest arcane computer systems. Recalling enough of those esoteric commands, Galen tried to coax information out of it. However, no matter the sphere only responded with three useless words:

/Command not found/

Pulling himself back out of the link, he stared at the ball, rotating it in contemplation and indignantly uttered, "What can you do?"

Just once it would be nice if something came easily. Considering that Fed, was one of the most gifted hackers in the Order, why he would employ such a primitive, and clearly dysfunctional system was beyond Galen … for now.

He considered messaging Fed, but decided against it. That would be admitting defeat. This was a puzzle and one of the few pleasures Galen allowed himself was solving obscure thought puzzles.

Galen thought, Surely I can figure this I were Fed how would I access your files?Something simple and obvious. Let's try this.

/0/ (Suddenly, Galen's mind filled with Fed's voice.)

-18.01.2256

Today I learned Rhea is dead. Hera told me in her usual way, long-winded and indirect. Some stupidass accident. She used the word, vaporize a lot. Poof, all gone. I asked to go with her on the investigation but she forbade it.

I told Gwynn. She reacted with such a fixed cold stare I wondered if she heard me at all. Then she just cut the transmission. I told Roland. Of course he became weepy, then furious. He vowed to horn in on the investigation and asked me if I wanted in, he even offered to come and get me. I turned him down. It won't bring them back and Hera promised to tell me everything anyway. As for me I have the keys to the wine cellar so I'm thinking excessive drinking followed by a good long bout of crying myself to sleep. Dios ayudame.

-30.01.2256

Hera just got back. She asked me if Roland talked to me at all. I said no. He's poofed to. She thinks he killed himself. He always struck me as the half-crazy sort of technomage, so ya, probably.

She asked how I was doing. I lied. I think she could tell. She told me not to bottle it up, talking about your feelings is the best way to sort it out. I pointed out the obvious, that I've been alone. She said you're only alone if you choose to be alone. And that if I don't want to talk about it, that was fine but eventually I'd have to open up. She insisted I at least pour it in a journal or something. Already knew all this. And that it's half bullshit. Talking only gets you so far. You have to let go to.

-05.02.2256

Hera's been getting high as a kite since she got home. She thinks I can't tell. I can totally tell. She repeats herself and stares at her hands, because, you know, she never really looked at them before. She's locked herself in her office for three days now. I'm getting worried.

-11.02.2256

I confronted Hera. She blew me off. Made a macabre joke about how they were the Order's drug dealers so that was the best way to honor their memory. Then the jokes really started flying. Most were lame. I should have recorded it to show her when she was sober. (Laughter.) Most mathy- With great power comes … great difficulty in factorizing the polynomial. Most not funny- Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% mortality rate. My favorite - Do you know what the last Xon on Centauri Prime said, just before he died? "Aaaaargh!"

Anyway, I've kept at her to quit. I might have gotten through.

-13.02.2256

Learned the difference between a memorial and funeral. Memorial's when you don't have bodies. They suck as much as funerals. Walking around their house sucked more. Fuck my good memory.

I got half-drunk and just hung out in the back. No one cared.

Except Gwynn. After it ended, she dragged me into their house, and yelled at me for being two sheets to the wind. I cried like a baby on her shoulder. Then she started drinking. Man, Gwynn can hold her liquor. She unloaded on me- she had a blow out fight with normie BF, they broke up, and the Circle's already riding her. They want to assign her to another full technomage to oversee her transition to adept. She's flat out refused because duh, two masters dying on her is enough. I pointed out they're just worried she'll go bad.

I reminded her- we're each other's keepers. She shouldn't be alone, and invited her to come home with us. She said no, that what she should do was apologize to her normie BF for taking a swing at him. I kissed her on the cheek. I couldn't help myself. She looked so sad. She kissed me back, on the lips (sigh) … It was bad. Like I didn't think sex could be that bad. Gwynn declared all of it the unmentionable night. We're not allowed to talk about it, ever, to anyone. (Laughter). As if I'd brag about not getting it up for one of the hottest women I know.

-14.02.2256

Man, Hera is one grumpy piece of work coming off whatever she was on. She yelled at me for breathing too loudly. This better not last, or I'm getting short fused and yelly right back at her. I miss her jokes.

-20.02.2256

Sobriety rules our house once again.

Hera went down to the cellar and noticed half the bottles were missing. So we had a long, long ass talk. She wouldn't let it go until I spilled my guts. Here's what I learned from her: shit happens, deal with it, move on. You owe it to the dead to keep living, and enjoy life even more than before. I'm paraphrasing, she said it better, with colorful asides and allegories. And I better moderate my drinking or we're turning into a dry household, whatever that means. She's right, I need to pull it together. Thus ends my foray into nightly alcoholism, which is fine since I drank all the good stuff anyway.

-22.02.2256

Hera's unhappy with my attitude. So what if I don't shower and all I do is sit around in my underwear watching Trajan do its daily network traffic analysis. If I don't improve she's threatened to fix me.

-24.02.2256

I've been fixed! Woke up with Hera standing over me with a big syringe. Bam. Did the trick. It's like I have to clutch my desk to keep from falling off the planet. It's really weird suddenly going about my studies feeling normal, okay not normal- manically happy, hyperactive, over-focused. There must be some adderall in the mix. Good stuff.

She said I don't have a melancholy disposition so I won't be on them for long. She's right, I already feel myself letting it go. But man, my mind's going a million clicks per second. I'm thinking too much. Realized three things. The Good- Love's the wildest ride there is. The Bad- Love makes you a total sucker. The Ugly- I don't want to ride the love train again. If anything I want to get it out of my head.

-25.02.2256

I finally got good news, Gwynn answered one of the hundred messages I left her. I can't believe how relieved I feel. We talked for a while. She looked good but sounded like the Queen of the Ice-Queens. I asked her why she went quiet on me. She wanted time to think, and to make up with normie BF. They shacked up. I'm glad she's got someone.

We psycho-analyzed the unmentionable night. Her conclusion- emotionally vulnerable time, inhibitions lowered by alcohol, blah, blah, blah. My conclusion- she's the annoying older sister I never realized I desperately need. That got a laugh out of her. I begged her not to cut me off because I did a stupid impulsive thing while drunk. She promised to keep talking to me. So far she's kept her promise.

-24.03.2256

No more happy juice for me. Thank the chocolate covered Christ child. I was starting to get all these weird side effects. Surprisingly, I liked the three hour erections the least. But it helped, and I got used to working on like nine different projects at once. I'm Mr. Productive.

I was nosing around Hera's work files looking for ideas to steal for new projects when I stumbled on something super interesting. She worked out a way to insert nanoprobes into the visual cortex. If you arrange several layers in a sort of clustered dodecahedron pattern you can transit visual/auditory imagery out of any human brain. Very leet. I asked Hera about it and she got all weirdly stern. Then ordered me forget it and not to talk about it with anyone. I'm guessing it's secret Circle stuff. She found and deleted all my copies of her files but she can't delete my head. Three cheers for my photographic memory.

I gave it some thought. This is the perfect way to pour out my vivid memories. Get them out of my head. Put it away in something. Like a monument. I can take it out and look at it when I want, otherwise I can put it away, and forget her.

I'm going to digitize my memories. I mean sure, I can wait two and half years till I'm a technomage, but why, if there is another path, right? The technique looked easy enough, if you can ace a sub-micron platform to do the vasal micro-movements. The stroke risk is minimal, only like 6%. Since I've already mastered platform creation down to that level, I should have no problems.

I got it all planned out. I can do it through my chrysalis port and I've swiped enough microprobes. I'll just need thirty minutes alone while wearing my chrysalis without Hera around. I'll figure something out.

-28.03.2256

Madre de Dios! … That hurt! I hope I didn't do too much permanent damage. I can't seem to remember how to do differentiation. I'm sure it will come back to me. Now that I think about it, maybe I should have waited a bit until I was more skilled with my movement control.

Oh well. Hera found me passed out on our lab's internal imager. When I regained conciseness, she was completely freaked out and pumping full of blood thinner. I've never seen her like that. Luckily, she didn't get angry with me, just … scared. I think she blames herself for not locking up my chrysalis and hasn't punished me. Even though she must have seen what I did. I've gotten the rest of day to recover from my self-inflicted stupidity. She even made me chocolate chip cookies. They're still as good as ever. Let's see if I can eat two simultaneously right now, …(chomp, chomp argh, argh mmmmhh) … I'll try to pull an early memory tonight, as soon as the throbbing stops.

-29.03.2256

They sound fine, looks okay, like a dream, but more importantly, it worked! I'm seriously full of myself right now. But I can't leave this sitting in my network storage. Hera will find it and the hyper-encryption will just make her curious and more likely to spend the time and effort to crack it open. I'm moving everything to an isolated system. I can even disguise it, ya, something innocuous no one would look twice at.

EOF

Galen pulled himself out of Fed's memory sphere. Drugs were certainly a way to deal with emotional trauma. Inferior to the behavioral activation techniques Galen utilized, but drugs were far easier. The only down side, besides the immediate side effects, a not insubstantial risk of long term addiction. Galen wondered how he'd have reacted had Elric insisted he take chemical alterants to fix him. Galen couldn't even imagine it. Elric never would have. For the easy way was never Elric's way. And it was not Galen's way either.

Next.

/1/

-21.11.2252

This day. … A lot of firsts. Funny how the universe works that way. The first time I realized someone I love would die soon and the first time I met her. And it was also the worst first impression I've ever made, by far, and I've made some bad ones. (Trailing off to laughter as swirling, vomit inducing images formed.)

"Woohoo! Fun!" I yelled.

The image- confused blur of rotating motion. A distinct impression of sweating and being strapped to something.

"Recite the Code," asked by perhaps female voice.

I answered, "Solidarity, Secret, Mystery, Magic, Science, Knowledge, Good."

Pulling himself back out of the link, Galen realized that he is actually seeing Fed's memories as if he were Fed. As promised, the images- blurry, dreamlike with perspectives skewed. It surprised Galen that Fed managed to pull it off and not get himself killed. The six percent failure was no doubt per probe. Probabilistically speaking, that virtually guaranteed a stroke but clearly Fed did not understand that.

There were many memory retrieval techniques available to a technomage once they were fully teched, but this was the first technique Galen encountered that works on a brain, well a living one anyway, without employing the services of a telepath. No matter the means, viewing such memories was always headache inducing and possibly disturbing because of the immediacy of the images.

Galen considered whether or not he should keep going. On the one hand he could learn what he needed without censoring or wading through Fed's obtuse interpretations, but on the other hand it would be more time-consuming and … intimate then he was prepared for. He decided to try and split the difference.

He messaged Fed. /Your log system has a bit of a usability problem. Exactly how am I supposed to find anything?/

/You can't. I stripped most of the os to make room for the last few entries. I've meant to expand it with more capacity but you know, busy./

That would explain the sphere's unfriendly interface. Piqued, Galen responded. /You should have warned me your logs are in memory stream format./

/And ruin your fun? Nah./

/I would rather not bumble around in your private logs Fed. At least tell me which entries I should focus on or better yet, I can bring you the sphere and you can pull the relevant entries for me, avoiding any unnecessary intrusions./

There was a very long pause.

/You wanted to know all, to be some sort of supreme impartial judge. If you are going to violate my privacy, I would prefer you do it as completely as possible. And besides, if you want to interrogate Rhea properly, you had better learn everything you can about her, right? That sphere is a great source of information. Now leave me alone./

Fed seemed to have blown past anger and into full-blown peevishness. Odd. Perhaps he was under more stress then he guessed. Unfortunately, that left the problem of what to do. Abandon this avenue or plow through the entries in the sphere?

Compulsively rotating the ball in his hand, Galen considered. This would hardly be the first private interaction he had, there are no other words for it, spied upon. Particularly, not after spending years monitoring the technomage probe network, not to mention all the probes he's left scattered about the galaxy. He'd seen far too much. If Fed had no problem with Galen seeing anything on the sphere, should he even be hesitating?

Coming to a decision he said aloud at the sphere as if it could understand, "I am sure I will regret this, but here is hoping you are worthwhile."

Realizing this might not be a quick, Galen made himself comfortable, taking off his shoes, and coat. He neatly made Fed's bed then reclined on top of the blanket, propped against a wall of pillows.

Steeling himself, Galen dove back into the point he left off.

The swirling visual hurricane slowed until he/I could make out a vaguely human shape illuminated in the dull red glow of an alien sun.

The figure spoke clearly now, "Of those good is the greatest. It is what I have devoted my life to and so must you."

"Is that why you drag me with you into the slums to see your charities?"

The voice clearly female, made a mocking reply, "Oh, very perceptive Fed. Humanity might have mastered space travel but we are still very much smothered in violence, poverty and greed. Oh and the endless parades of petty wars."

"Hey, at least no one goes hungry anymore."

"That is only partially true. For many, human or not, life is still too short, and brutal. I will cut my lecture short today. The lesson you must take away is, great power is given to a technomage, great good is expected in return. Do you understand?"

"Sure. Be good, do good."

The figure snapped into sharp relief, clearly it is Herazade. With a frown, she said under her breath, "As succinct as ever."

With a wave of her hand, the straps suddenly loosen and I jumped down landing with a grunt.

"How do you feel? Lightheadedness? Nausea?"

"Nah. I feel great."

Probingly, she asked, "Fed, I have meant to ask … what do you and Aldous do on your Sundays together?"

Over-excited, I answered, "We have an awesome time!"

Her eyes locked on me, "Yes I noticed. Doing what exactly?"

"He said I don't have to tell you." She stepped into my space filling my view. As she leant closer, clearly trying to will me into answering with just her presence, I continued, "He said if you try to force it out of me, that I should make up stuff, the more awful and outrageous the better."

Looming over me, she said one curt word, "Unacceptable."

"He said that if you keep at me, I should tell you to leave me alone and go speak with him about it."

Sighing, her body relaxed and withdrew. A small smile played on her lips.

I asked, "If you don't approve, why did you suggest it in the first place?"

She plainly said, "Before I found you and took you on as my apprentice, your world was all negligence, and thuggery. I thought you should have a father-figure who was not a drug-dealing criminal and who better than my own former master and father."

At that, I laughed loudly at her.

Frowning severely at my response, she waved a dismissive hand, "It seemed like a good idea at the time. We will revisit this. But for now you can have tonight and most of this week to yourself."

"Yes!" I pumped my fist.

"Put everything away first."

I whined, "Oh come on! It's heavy and it will take me forever. Why don't you just wave your hand and put it away in two seconds?"

Annoyed, she pointed one finger at me.

"Rudely whine again and you will spend your evening in my office studying the Italian Renaissance. Our guests will be here soon. You are not to spend all night in the VR pod avoiding them like you did with our last guests."

I defensively answered her, "That's because I hated being around Kell's apprentices. Whenever we were alone, the nicest thing Elizar called me was a buffoon and his sister, don't get me started about her!" I drew circles near my temple. "Total bag of nuts."

Glaring at me she snapped out, "Why didn't you tell me?" I crossed my arms. She mellowed quickly and stopped glaring. "I'm sorry. Of course. Kell is our leader. You did not feel empowered to speak up. And it is too late for me to do anything about it now. Well, our new guest, Coeus, also has two apprentices but you will find they are very different. I will be helping Aldous set up for the convocation. I expect you to be a perfect host, and take excellent care of them. "

Smiling, I bowed formally and dramatically. "I hear and obey my Queen!"

She pointed me toward what appears to be a large gyroscope but I remained in place. A short, husky, old man, in an embroidered tunic swirling with clashing colors, stepped through the nearest door. His long white hair bounced freely about as he floated toward us.

Herazade muttered with a smile, "Ah, speak of the devil …"

She turned to the man, tipped her head and said, "Aldous."

He asked us loudly, "Ready to meet our guests?"

I shrugged. "Umm, sure."

He pointed at the gyroscope. Instantly irritated, he said, "That makes my house look like a sodding circus. Put that thrice-damned eyesore away already!"

Immediately, I jumped to obey him. They begin to slowly walk off toward the other end of the courtyard.

Grunting with exertion, I drug the gyroscope slowly into an open shed but overheard their receding conversation.

As they retreated, I heard Aldous say, "You should discipline him more."

"What? Spare the rod, spoil the child? You know that is not my way. Besides I have you."

He interrupted her, impatiently, "Yes, yes. So you and Coeus finally kiss and makeup? Ten years is a long time to hold a grudge only to suddenly give it up."

"There was no grudge. Our disagreement was more about style than substance."

"How very vague. How about you explain that to me?"

They paused and stared at each other for a good minute. Aldous' expression slowly turned surprised and pleased as he exclaimed, "Ha!"

They walked off with silent animation as I lost sight of everything inside the shed. When I stepped back out, I looked around to find three new people had joined us. I ran quickly toward them. In the middle, Aldous sat on and invisible chair, a platform supporting him no doubt.

A middle-aged man stood next to him, examining the old man with a crystal in hand. A stream of tiny glittering motes flowed from the tip of the crystal into the elderly man's neck. I studied the new man. His receding shoulder length black hair was slicked back, yet a few willfully stuck out at right angles. On his expensive gray suit festive red and green branches of holy spun as they flowed along one jacket arm, across the shoulders, down the other arm and back.

Silently, two very different young women stood by the examining man. The taller of the two, by more than a head, was bald and dressed meticulously in the traditional black apprentice robe and cloak. Her attention locked on Herazade, who spoke to her, but too softly for me to hear. Her severely angry expression marred an otherwise stunningly beautiful face. The other woman, the shortest of the group, barely above my eye level, carried a cylindrical container. Her apprentice cloak carelessly draped about her shoulders like an afterthought. Underneath, she wore a bright red silken scarf, a vibrant green tunic and worn tight brown pants with one poorly applied patch on the right knee. Her long black hair mostly hung loose trying to obscure her vision. She ignored all around her.

As I joined the group, I heard, Herazade say at the tall bald apprentice, "Mirenda was an excellent mage and a very good friend. She is still missed by many. I count myself among that number."

To that the beautiful bald apprentice said nothing but her face relaxed, turning away from angry to distantly icy.

"Aren't you done yet?!" Aldous said filling the silence.

"Nearly ... Is there pain?" asked the middle aged man lowering the crystal.

Aldous waved a hand looking affronted but replied, "Just give me a couple of those party in a box bottles you always carry around. Well, what's the verdict?"

The man put the crystal in a pocket and withdrew two small white containers. He handed them to Aldous without comment and said, "I would like to speak with you in private."

"No, we're all family here. Just spit it out."

The man paused and looked first at Herazade and then down at me. He slowly said, "I … have confirmed your suspicions. As I'm sure you know, there is still no cure. There is little I can do apart from slowing its progression."

A stunned silence settled like a fog. Confused my mouth hung open as I looked back and forth between the adults with growing unease. The seconds ticked by as no one said a thing.

Finally, Aldous gruffly said under his breath, "Well fuck me. I was hoping I was just being a hypochondriac. How long?"

"I can not be precisely sure unless you allow me to analyze your genome. Your tech has been compensating for some of the neuromuscular junction atrophy. It is usually slow. My guess is you still have a few years."

"Will my mind go?"

"Typically it does not affect the mind. As you have noticed it affects your voluntary muscular control and is tolerable until it begins to affect your intercostal muscles..."

With a wave, Aldous dismissed the rest. "At least Kell will finally let me retire, or not. He keeps his cards clutched so closely to his chest who the hell knows."

He looked up at Herazade and they stared at each other silently. My eyes filled with tears. I wiped them away and swallowed hard.

"Hera, I've mentioned this possibility to Kell. We decided you will be my replacement. I will bring you to a few of our Circle meetings during the convocation. They want to talk to you, and by talk I mean grill really."

"That is not the traditional progression. Typically there is first a vacancy. Not to mention, I haven't even agreed to..."

Aldous interrupted, "Since when do you give a bloodied Xon about tradition! Kell only calls for an election when he's certain who he wants to win and who actually will win are the same person," He stopped speaking suddenly noticing the audience intently listening to his harangue, "We'll talk about this later. I'm off to finish preparing the convocation site."

"I will assist you." offered Herazade, adjusting her clothing.

Aldous cut her off yet again, "No. I want to be alone." He smiled oddly as he looked around, "You kids stay and have fun. Besides this is my 5th hosting, I could set up everything with my eyes closed."

He stood and shot off into the sky like a bullet. I tried to track his trajectory but only saw a vapor trail and heard an eventual audible pop. A pained and awkward silence remained behind his wake. Finally, Herazade cleared her throat and with hands on my shoulders forced me to fully face the newcomers. "I'm sorry Fed. I should have introduced you before this."

My head spun. The blood drained out of my face. A wave of nausea filled its place.

"Fed this is Coeus, and his two apprentices, Rhea and Gwynn. They are from Earth. Coeus is one of prime healers and soon Rhea will be ..."

Her sentence cut off when I vomited on the pants and shoes of the one called Rhea.

She screamed, "Gah!" Still she caught me before I fell to the ground. I looked into her angry eyes as she maneuvered me onto my back on the ground.

Crouching next to me Herazade nodded left and right, disapproving. "I specifically told you not to eat anything today. You need to follow my instructions precisely. What am I to do with you?"

With sympathy, Coeus looked down at me then said, "Rhea, attend to him."

She shot back, "Why am I stuck with him?"

As an order, Coeus, "We are each other's keepers."

That erased Rhea's angry scowl. Coeus took Herazade by the hand pulled her to a standing position.

"I wish to consult with Herazade. We are not to be disturbed."

All three of us watched as they walked hand in hand out of the courtyard. Gwynn and Rhea exchanged glances.

Gwynn spoke with her hand extended to Rhea as if demanding payment, "I believe you owe me 100 credits."

After an audible sigh, Rhea said, "This is not an auspicious start to my initiation. First I rip my lucky pants, now this … gah," examining her clothes Rhea said, "Gwynn, please get my bag from the ship."

"Do you need my help carrying him?"

"No, I'll be fine."

As Gwynn's long strides carried her away, Rhea opened her container, moved her hair out of the way and slipped a chrysalis carefully on her head. It made a small sucking noise as it settled like a large wet cap onto the back of her head, neck and down her back. Her peculiarly green eyes cut into me, studying me.

"I'm very sorry. I'm really..." I tried to get up but she restrained me to the ground.

"You should be sorry. These are my favorite pants and most expensive pair of boots."

"I can…" My words fumbled away when her fingers traced up the back of my neck to the base of my skull. The tips of her fingers pushed painfully in the junction between my vertebrae.

"Ack. What are you doing?" She stared past me with unfocused eyes.

"Being your keeper." Not removing her hand, she smiled at me and commanded in a strange voice, "Relax. Sleep. ..."

Her words floated away along with my body and mind as everything went black.

In the next instant I awoke tucked in bed. I looked under my blanket. Naked. Looking about, Rhea, no longer wearing her chrysalis or apprentice cloak, sat looking at a terminal at my littered table. With her feet propped up on the table, she looked to not be wearing pants or shoes. I stared at her bare legs, looking them up and down repeatedly. My face flushed as my blanket bulged. I pulled the blanket up to my chin, slipping one hand down under to make my blanket flatten.

I said softly, "Um… hello?"

Her head turned to me with a relieved smile. A toss and the terminal landed on a pile of small circuit boards. Walking over, she spoke, "You're awake. That's good. You were out longer than I intended. Oops. Here drink this, all of it."

She offered me a glass as she stood beside the bed. When I hesitated she added, "It's just water. There is nothing wrong with you apart from the obvious shock. But you were slightly dehydrated. Drink and rest."

When I still didn't take it, she put the glass on the only open spot on my nightstand.

I blurtted out, "I'm naked!"

She pointed at my blanketed form and defensively said, "Your clothes were unfit. I assumed you would prefer not to sleep in them. And I could not find anything resembling pajamas."

"Oh. I don't wear any."

She raised both eyebrows at that. "That does provide a certain ... convenience," She pulled up her shirt. I inhaled sharply, as she revealed tight fitting short shorts, "I hope you don't mind, since we are the same size, I borrowed your shorts."

"Those are my underwear."

"Really? They look just like what I saw in the shops ... never mind. Rest, I'll be downstairs, looking for Gwynn."

She headed for the door, but paused to say over her shoulder with only one eye on me, "Don't worry. It's a perfectly average size."

A small chuckle floated back to me as she left. I bit into my blanket to keep from screaming. Throwing my blanket over my head, I said at myself, "Arrrgh. A woman finally takes off my clothes in my own fricking room and … Smooth Fed. You are the King of Sexing."

I guzzled the water, threw off my blanket, dressed and ran after her downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs I overheard an angry exchange. I stopped well back of the tiled foyer, close enough to hear but not be noticed.

Angrily Rhea said, "Where could you possibly have to go on this sweltering backwater province?! Let it go. She was testing your reaction Gwynn. Aldous probably put her up to it. And do you blame him after all the punches you threw around?"

Silence. A stalemate. Rhea continued in a controlled manner, "Besides, you said you would help me review the final version of my illusion. Not to mention you should be studying."

Gwynn's answer, cold and steady like a machine. "I have my terminal. I can study anywhere. With Herazade going on about my mother and Aldous, ... I need to clear my head. I plan to take a walk into the downtown of the city we passed, and you should give that damn presentation a rest already. If you make me watch it again, I will gouge my eyes out with the nearest fork. I will now give you the advice you would give me if our situations were reversed, relax. The Order is perpetually short on healers. I suspect you'd have to deliberately murder someone before they'd not initiate you."

"What if Coeus asks about you? I don't relish lying for you."

"I seriously doubt their consultation will end before tomorrow. Knowing your father, we won't see them for days. I'll be back most likely before he notices and definitely before he cares."

"Do you at least have Proximan credit chits?"

"You do remember who you're talking to right?"

Gwynn turned so quickly, her black cloak billowed dramatically. And she was gone. Rhea stared after her, with balled fists.

From behind I spoke, "I can help you with any work you need to get done."

She whirled about in surprise and yelled, "I thought I told you to sleep! I did not ask for your help."

Calmly, I said, "Ya, but one I feel fine and two you shouldn't take your anger at Gwynn out on me."

Startled she looked back at the open door. And deliberately began to breathe in and out deeply. We stood looking out the door into the setting sun.

Eventually she said, "Forgive me. The most infuriating thing about Gwynn is that she is right and knows it. I should just try to relax. You don't by any chance have a lot of ice cream and early 20th century vids kicking around? Some liquor would be nice to."

I opened my mouth, but before I could answer Herazade's voice boomed, "Fed!"

"I'm over here."

She appeared at the top of the stairs only clad only in a full length blue robe.

Without descending she ordered, "Prepare the evening meal, the roast I think, pair it with a couple reds. One of ours and one from Earth, any bottle covered with dust will do. Oh and decant some of our Limoncello as well. Then have one of your servitors bring it to my quarters."

My eyes flared a bit as I said, "Um…sure."

We both stared at her retreating form before I uncomfortably turned to Rhea. She looked at me with barely restrained humor in her eyes.

I said, "Oh God. I can never un-see that."

She advised, "It's best not to think about it. That way lies madness. If you can't help yourself, pretend they are playing chess. That always worked for me."

"Wow, you just saved my evening."

She tipped her head to me slightly and asked, "You can cook?"

"Yes. I've done all the cooking for the last year. Hera started teaching me four years ago. She called it the only true alchemy and said it would increase my charm immeasurably. Are you hungry?"

"Always. How old are you?"

"I will be 16 in one week exactly."

She smiled approvingly. "Well, I will be 22 in 10 months 8 days, and I'm about to become an initiate technomage, but I doubt I could prepare a full dinner for six easily. Do you need help?"

I shrugged. "No. I love to cook. I just hate cleaning up. So if you want to help you can do that."

"Huh, I was going for the sous-chef position, but I guess I get to settle for dishwasher."

I grinned. "I'm supposed to do everything. You can just sit back and keep me company."

"Then I will take Gwynn's advice. Ice cream, liquor and vids it is."

"I'll make the ice cream now. I believe strongly in eating dessert first. We have all sorts of hard liquor. But … that stuff is in Herazade's quarters and umm… sorry I'm not brave enough to go get it. As for the vids, we have a huge library of them. I've been enjoying the dark humor era stuff from the 21st century, if you don't like that I can pull more from the net."

She stared at me quietly for an unnerving amount of time before finally deciding, "I believe I'm going to like you Fed."

EOF

Galen pulled himself out of entry smiling. Fed wasn't kidding when he said he made a bad first impression, and yet he obviously turned it around. His natural charm asserted itself and clearly won her over.

Not that he made a good first impression on Galen either. He could still hear Elric's certain and grave voice commanding him…

"That is Federico. He is Herazade's newly adopted apprentice and a member of your cohort. You will introduce yourself to him. Stay with him until he is well situated." Elric paused then added with gravity, "Choose your words with care for all words have lingering power and once spoken cannot be unsaid."

Elric's strong arm pointed Galen's attention to a lone boy. He could see the short boy wore new apprentice robes. They sat well askew on his shoulders with some of the hem dragging on the ground. As he kicked a stone around the muddy ground, occasionally he glanced at a small group of young apprentices loudly and eagerly socializing nearby.

Gravely Galen obeyed. "Yes Sir."

He hurried, running rapidly toward Federico, who at that moment kicked the now quite muddy rock hard sending it sailing through the air and right into the middle of Galen's chest.

"Ack!" yelped Galen more from the small clumps of dirt strewn in his face then any pain.

When he saw he hit someone Fed rushed over. "I'm sorry! I didn't see you there." He ran over as Galen brushed the dirt off his formerly pristine black apprentice robe, "Let me help you." It did not help, "I'm really sorry for ruining your clothes. You can have mine."

He began pulling off his robe.

Galen immediately said, "No. That is not necessary. I have others and can change later."

A small relieved smile crossed Fed's face as he stopped undressing. He said, "You're Galen right?"

Surprised, Galen carefully asked, "Yes, how did you know my mage name? I have only told it to Elric."

Fed vibrated and bit his lip as if he was just caught doing something wrong.

"Um … I don't know about that. I just memorized all the names and pictures in the ID database Herazade had sitting around. I thought I might make a better first impression if I knew people's names. But instead all that happened," Fed pointed so quickly at the other group of apprentices that Galen missed who he meant, "was the Alphamale saying An idiot savant roams among us."

Understanding filled Galen, "Ah, that would Elizar. He can be …"

Fed completed Galen's sentence,"A biting ass. What's his damage?" Galen opened his mouth to answer but Fed kept speaking, "I'm the new kid and he wanted to make sure I knew my place." He held out his hand, "My name is Federico, but you can call me Fed."

Shaking it quickly and dropping it out of discomfort, Galen asked, "Did you really memorize 500 names and likenesses?"

Fed shrugged. "It was 506."

Exhausting the one topic Galen thought to discuss, they stared at each other in awkward silence neither knowing what to say to find more common ground.

Realizing he should be obeying Elric's intent, he offered, "Come. I will introduce you to those who bite less deeply."

That was the last sentence Galen spoke to Fed that day. Not because there was no conversation between them, but rather, Fed managed to carry whole conversations with little more than the occasional nod from Galen. Until Galen introduced Fed to Kane and Finian then even nodding was no longer needed. The three of them became instant best friends and remained so even after the Order went into hiding. Fed always went out of his way to draw him into their activities, never deterred by his continuous lack of success or Galen's excuses. Growing up, Galen had found profoundly annoying but now he can only think of it warmly.

The only other, who was still alive, that repeatedly attempted to pry into his life like that was, sigh, Dureena. Not that they spoke anymore. Whenever they were around each other, she silently stared at him, a protective hand on her sword, as if he was the thief and her the technomage. He could not image what it will take to overcome the power of his last lingering words to her. A quiet answer came in Elric's voice, You can start with an apology.

Shaking himself, he thought having three days of quiet until they arrived might be a good thing. For he could not seem to avoid falling into nostalgic reveries. Equally bad, he learned little of relevance that would help Fed to deal with the current situation. Refocusing, he moved onto the next entry hoping that would change.

/2/

- 22.11.2252

Walking down a long stone corridor, I approached a heavy wooden door covered with runes. A clickity-clack sound of metal against stone followed me. At the door, I looked down and behind me. At my bare feet a red robotic spider skillfully balanced a small tray on its back while walking forward.

"Po, stop at the door and wait for further instructions." I placed my hand over the center rune. It glowed under my hand and I whispered, "There is no spoon."

I waited but no answer came. So I opened the door and walked into a dream. Hundreds of tiny long staircases interconnected at different angles like they existed in more than 3 dimensions. On the stairs tiny dancing figures frolicked. I studied the figures. Mushrooms of various sizes covered with eyes, prancing colorful daisies with grinning faces. The illusion collapsed, leaving Rhea standing in the center of the room wearing her chrysalis.

I blurted out, "Wow! That was interesting." She frowned at me. I continued, "Sorry you didn't respond to my chime. I brought you lunch if you want it."

Radiating a limitless self-assurance, she said, "Aren't you overly considerate or were you just trying to see what I'm up to?"

"A little of one, a lot of the other. I'll let you decide which. Um ... I thought an apprentice wasn't allowed to cast spells unless a full mage is present. Not that I care. It's just I'll keep it to myself if it'd get you into trouble with the old..."

My voice trailed off as she laughed. Confused, I could not tell if it was at me, what I said or both.

Noticing, she said, "Yes the Order has a great many rules. That one has some latitude, at least according to my father. Coeus hasn't bothered to be with me for months."

Pointing around her to where the illusion was, I asked, "What was that? I thought you were a healer, shouldn't your presentation be, you know, medical in nature?"

"What you mean like dissecting a liver in an unusual way or reattaching a severed head?"

"You can reattach a severed head?!"

Rhea adopted a lopsided smile. "Literally yes, but if you actually want them alive afterwards, no. It can be whatever I want as long as I display some spell mastery and it reflects my talents. I fancy myself, first and foremost, a connoisseur of culture. But like my father, I do plan to become a dedicated healer for the Order and a true coercer. I'll be the fifth generation of my family to serve the Order in this way."

"What's a true coercer?"

She looked puzzled, "You do not know?"

I shrugged, "Herazade told me not to worry about studying the spell stuff until I build my spell language and that's not till I get a chrysalis. Aren't the 14 words a coercive spell?"

She answered, "Yes, the 14 words to make someone fall in love is actually one of the simplest and best understood coercive spells. It's far more than just words. It works by flooding the brain stem with oxytocin while the subject is thinking of their future love object. Works every time. There are others that many technomages can learn- sleep inducement, the command voice. But a true coercer, well, I'll put it this way, there are some of us with additional talent who can cast certain, advanced spells. The Centauri technomages enthusiastically call it spirit oppression. It's not telepathic coercion instead it works ...actually no one knows how those spells really work but there are some guesses based on the fact that they work best with physical contact."

"So you can make anyone do anything?"

She raised an eyebrow at me. "A full mage might be able to resist such spells at least partially or a strong telepath. But you, I could easily coerce."

"Really?! What does it feel like?"

Still as a statue, she said nothing. Then abruptly she walked over to a workbench and picked out some small gears. She approached me with the gears in her palm and deliberately grasped my wrist.

"Stop."

I tasted metal as my mouth was filled. I spat gears out. She regarded me with a wicked smile.

"How did ...? I don't remember …"

Her erupting into a full-throated laugh halted my stuttering.

"I can't believe how easy that was. I have only tried that on Gwynn and she fights me tooth and nail. I can barely drag her under. That was fun."

We smiled at eachother. "Fun for you. Will I be able to do that?"

"You will be taught a great many things. Your natural talents will determine what you can do well. But all technomages must learn how to manipulate perceptions of sentients in some way or another."

"Here's hoping I don't disappoint. I wasn't born into my line. Herazade found me working for a stim smuggler at a recycler. I still don't understand what your illusion meant. Can I see it all?"

"No, but anyone can see it at the convocation if they wish. I will tell you it is how I see the mind and its progression from a chaotic state to an ordered one. Okay that's enough. I'm beginning to bore even myself, also I'm suddenly starving, you mentioned a lunch?"

"Hold on."

I headed to the door.

"Po come in. Serve second occupant. Have you heard from your sister?"

She retrieved the tray from the back of the spider. After she stood up, she looked at me confused. "Do you mean Gwynn?"

"Yes."

"No I have not. Nor am I really surprised. And she is not my biological sister," she added with a distinct annoyance.

Excitedly I asked, "Is she adopted?"

"No, well actually sort of. Her mother, Mirenda, was a fellow technomage. My father took care of when she became ill. Coeus volunteered to complete Gwynn's apprenticeship after she died. That was a few years ago. She was … difficult at first but now I suppose our relationship resembles that of siblings. We certainly argue like sisters. Of course, it's turning out that she has no skill at healing, though my father suspects she will also be a true coercer. That's part of why he was eager to help complete her apprenticeship."

She fixed me with a piercing and unblinking stare.

Getting the hint I said, "I suppose I should go now."

She said only, "Yes."

EOF

Galen let out a hard, unhappy breath. A true coercer. Galen knew exactly what that meant for he was one himself. Manipulation in all its forms, was the thing technomages excelled at. The Shadows were the true masters of it. So of course they made sure the technomages had such abilities.

It had been a while since Galen thought of his spell research. He has been so profoundly busy that he had to leave all his research behind until the universe no longer conspired to keep him miserably occupied.

Much of his time while he had lived in the hiding place, he devoted to discovering the seven root spells at the base of all technomage spells. He revealed and used four of them so far. The first that shocked so many before his initiation and the basis of all offensive spells- his spell of destruction. The second the basis of all their communication spells. That one enabled him to listen in on the Shadows communications years ago when the Order was fleeing before the Shadow war.

The third involved the base shielding spell which offered near perfect protection and concealment- a shadow shield. An invaluable spell, thought Galen, when he managed to cast it in time. He ruefully touched his shoulder where Dureena impaled her knife.

The fourth- the root of the spells of association or the merging directly with technology. That base spell enabled Galen to become one with his tech and how he freed any Shadow tech he came across.

The next two, the ability to create illusions with substance and the mastery over movement with their platforms, Galen had too little time to pursue currently.

Which left one last base spell. The basis of the most Shadow like spell family- the root of their spells of coercion. He could see the base spell for coercion in his mind but he dared not cast it. He was certain it will enthrall whoever was unlucky enough to be its victim, leaving their intellect intact but stripping them of their free will. A permanent slave for Galen to use as he wished.

The Shadows had turned many sentients, like Anna Sheridan and Mr Morden, into thralls. Eager, willing, and permanent puppets. Galen liked to think he would never use the base coercion spell. Then again he never thought he'd use the 14 words to make someone fall in love forever. It was a spell Galen used, once. He did at Vir's request, on Londo's ex-wife, Mariel. It gave Vir a vital and perfectly placed tool to help him wrestle control of Centauri Prime away from the Drakh. Galen wished there had been a another way. He did not discover it. And regrettably, he compromised. There were no good options in that ugly situation. Only the least bad.

His head dropped down to stare at Fed's sphere in his hand. What was most disturbing about Rhea, was she blithely coerced Fed with barely a second thought. Elric never allowed him to practice coercive spells as an apprentice. His explanation was they were too dangerous for a chrysalis staged mage and even for most initiates. Nor had he allowed Galen to use his chrysalis unsupervised going so far as to lock it away. Taken together Rhea's behavior, and that of her master, Coeus, screamed willful carelessness and arrogance, but those were two traits all too common in the Order.

The question was how strong of a true coercer was she. Galen made a mental note to discuss just exactly how strong her abilities were with Gwynn, soon. He moved on to the next entry.

/3/

Only one word comes to mind to describe this night, awkward.

- 22.11.2252

The room was dark except for a large screen displaying a frozen image of an animated corpse biting into the head of a very unhappy man. The eerie glow of the screen illuminated the room. The table in front of the screen covered with empty dinner dishes. On walls around the room hung tapestries of complex geometric fractals. Little mirrors weaved into the wall hangings reflected the glow.

I lounged on an incredibly large comfortable red sofa with my bare feet propped up on a step stool.

Adamantly I shook my head no as Rhea loudly said, "I'm technically correct. It's not necrophilia if they are the undead." Her long hair hung loose and rowdily on her head obscuring some of her face. She wore a tight v-necked olive t-shirt, and had tucked her legs under a blue throw blanket.

I argued back, "That's a trivial technicality. The spirit of what you said was clear - you prefer your men, tall, dark and dead."

Rhea said haughtily, "One, being technically correct is the best sort of correct. Two all I said was, He's cuter as an undead. It's not my fault your mind jumped to a perverted conclusion. Three ..."

I interrupted her, "You're stringing me along, aren't you?"

I sagged back against the couch. She fell back next to me and leaned in laughing. "Thank you for taking the bait. I really enjoyed that, unlike this vid. I'll have to remember to avoid anything with the phrase 'of the dead' in its title."

A hit of lavender smell. I looked down into her cleavage, and stopped breathing. Noticing she stopped as well. Confused at first, she looked down to where my eyes were. We both looked up at the same time. Smoothly, I leaned toward her face focused on her lips, but two firm hands planted in the middle of my chest stopped me.

Out of the darkness a voice said with startling effect, "Well aren't you two all chummy."

Rhea vaulted to her feet, and faced the darkness.

"Enjoy your walk Gwynn? Let's see it's been, almost 36 hours"

Gwynn stepped out of the shadows and into the illumination of the screen. She wore a police uniform while endlessly twirling some sort of badge in her right hand.

"Immensely. New Alhambra has a certain charm all its own." She looked away dreamily for a second before her attention snapped back onto me. Her smile vanished into an icy, judging stare. "Where are we sleeping?"

At this I stood. "I'll go prepare your rooms now."

As I walked away Gwynn whispered, "You don't have a room yet? Whose bed did you sleep in last night?"

I stopped just outside the room, out of sight and listened.

"I fell asleep here, watching vids. Forget this, why are you wearing a police uniform?"

"A souvenir. No, let's not forget this. Even in this light he looked flushed. Please tell me you weren't about to commence his initiation."

Rhea sputtered, "Of course not!"

Her voice all disapproval, Gwynn lectured, "Really? You should keep in mind that the age of consent on Proxima is 16. He doesn't look near it. "

The response was immediate. "He will be 16 in a week and it doesn't matter! I am the victim here! Wait, why in the world would you know what the age of consent is on Proxima?" Silence. "Look, he misinterpreted my kindness for interest. Loneliness and curiosity emanate out of him so strongly that I missed the signs. And apparently he's the assertive sort. Don't worry I know how to shut him down."

Gwynn pushed, "If you speak to him again about anything, he's just going to take that as encouragement. You should just cut him off."

"Oh you're an expert on men now? Correct me if I'm wrong but you have the dating history of a conservative Victorian dowager. Have you even been deflowered yet?"

A long silence punctuated at the end by a distinctly wry laugh from Gwynn, who crisply answered, "I would rather keep my own council on that front. Look take my advice or not, it was offered in your benefit."

"I know, but the one thing I remember from 15 going on 16 was that I desperately wanted to be taken seriously. Hopefully, he's mature enough to hear the reasons for my lack of interest. … Oh don't look at me that way! Fine you win, if he is unreasonable, I will cut him off."

Disappointed, I left and bound up a flight of stairs two at a time, at the top of the stairs sat the red robotic spider.

"Po, unlock bedrooms 3 and 4. Synch environmental settings with master. Stock them each with a complete set of linens. Hook the terminals up to the network "

The robot scurried off down the hallway.

I hurried back down and eavesdropped again to overhear Gwynn say, "Yes, before we left he wanted me to read some of his research, but he was really vague about what he wanted me to do."

"He's just feeling you out to see if you'd be interested in helping us with backwards engineering the suit. You know neither one of us is good at that sort of thing."

I walked in. Rhea looked at me without smiling and ordered, "Fed, show Gwynn to her room then come back down here, please."

A feeling of dread washed over me but I muttered, "Sure."

Silently, I led, as Gwynn stalked me to her room. "The terminal is unlocked and we have an always on, connection to EarthNet. Rhea is in the room to your right and I am across the hallway should you need anything."

She stared at me with a withering expression. Her voice suddenly sultry, she said, "You mean like in the middle of the night, if I get lonely?" She drew out the last word as if it was a song lyric. I gave her a strained smile and turned to leave.

"Fed." Her voice returned to cold and crisp.

I stopped at the door. "Yes?"

"Leave her alone. You are too young for her. Do you understand?"

"What? Why did you just say that?"

"You're about to be on the receiving end of a convoluted and numbingly clinical lecture. I thought I'd save you the trouble of trying to puzzle it through. Now I'm exhausted, go away." She waved her hand as if batting away an insect.

I closed her door behind me and stood there for a minute slowly taking in what she said. I headed back taking the stairs two at a time.

I caught Rhea examining a tapestry. The throw blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a coat that hid her body completely. "Ahh, there you are. Have a seat."

I sat on the sofa and she sat opposite me well away on the step stool.

"Fed, I think you're charming, witty and quite a cook. Your company has been a real pleasure. But sometimes as we mature out of adolescence we develop certain inappropriate feelings which stem from the rapidly ..."

"Please stop." She looked surprised then suspicious but remained silent fixing me with a stare. "Ummm … I know what you are about to say. I get it. I won't lie. I think you're beautiful, smart, fun and I don't plan to make a fool of myself again. I know when to bide my time."

She let out a sigh and frowned staying silent for several painful seconds.

"That is not what I had in mind but I had better leave it alone. Tomorrow, I will spend my time alone or with Gwynn. I don't need anything brought to me, I'll just forage off the land." She stood and so did I. "No! Stay there, I'll figure it out. Good night Fed."

She walked away. I let out a slow heavy breath as I watched her retreating form. The moment she was out of sight Aldous decloaked beside me causing me to jump in shock.

He said first, "I have a new respect for you Fed. At your age I would never have had the courage to try and kiss a woman like that. It is one of evolution's cruelest little jokes that just as we reach sexual maturity, full grown women find us repulsive and pitiful, well the sane ones anyway."

I turned away feeling my face burn.

"I see I've embarrassed you. Well one advantage to learning you have a terminal disease is you don't give a crap anymore about social niceties or sparing others feelings."

"Mierde, does everyone get to see me make a fool out of myself."

He chuckled. "I think I'm the last one. You should be careful when you eavesdrop like that. Those words were not meant for you. You need to be prepared to hear the worst about yourself from another."

I stared into the darkness around us as I quietly answered, "I had to know."

He patted me on the back, causing me to look in his grinning face.

"I don't disapprove. Such behavior is how I know you will make an excellent technomage."

"Umm how much did you see?"

"Obviously, I caught the exciting conclusion. It was almost an absurdist farce. You two put on an entertaining show."

Pleading with him, I begged, "Please don't tell Hera!"

"I'm not cruel. She might be a liberal master, but perhaps some advice man to man is order. Here is the sum total of my accumulated wisdom for you in this situation, give up. Or at least practice on something smaller than a Titan."

I said, "But what if I don't want to give up? You know women right. What do I, I mean, how would you …?"

He interrupted me, "No! I will not play a Cyrano for you."

"Please?"

"You're clever. You'll figure it out."

"Oh come on! At least give me a hint."

He stared at me sternly and the stand off continued for a good long time.

I gave up first and blurted out, "I can't believe you're going to ... I mean I'm sorry that... I don't even know what to say... ," my voice trailed off into uncertainty.

He pulled me into a tight embrace and said in my ear, "Stop. I will not have it. If you get to be my age it means you win at the game of life. My only regret is I won't get to see how your life turns out first hand. All I ask is you honor my memory. Obey your master better. Build up the Order and guard it with your life because it is your life."

He let me go as we neared tears. I said back, "I can do that. But, you know, maybe I could do it better if I knew how to get the girl to."

Sighing, he said through a grin, "You win. I'll say this, in my rich and deep experience if you can make them laugh that is half the battle won. But she has clearly decided against you. Respect that. But then again, that does not mean you can not lay siege to the city. It took the Greeks ten years to conquer Troy. Perhaps you'll have better luck, but you might want pace yourself."

I exclaimed, "Ten years?! What do you mean lay siege? Wait, didn't the Greeks destroy Troy?"

He waved a dismissive hand, explaining, "I mean the gentle, friendly sort of siege. But do not pretend to be her friend if all you want is sex. Be honest in affairs of the heart. In the meantime you'll survive. Masturbation is your friend but take my advice, do it sparingly, use a light touch and learn complete control now, you'll thank me later."

He smiled at me while I burned with waves of mortification. "Now that I've no dignity left can I slink off to my room, please?" I pleaded.

Out of the dark Herazade spoke to me. "Exactly why would you have no dignity left?"

I could say nothing to her.

Aldous leant over and whispered in my ear, "Courage lad. Once more into the breach."

EOF

Everything abruptly ended. Unbelievable, Galen thought. He never realized how much of a little spy Fed was. Then again, Fed always seemed to know all the gossip when they were apprentices. Yet it had never occurred to Galen that he would actively eavesdrop on conversations. Galen made a mental note to assume no conversation was private if Fed was near.

Otherwise, the only interesting thing he learned was that Rhea completely rejected Fed. Of course that had not deterred him, quite the opposite in fact. He moved on, oblivious to what was happening on the Excalibur.

Recreation Room 1- Aboard the Excalibur December 23, 2269 - Racing with the cure back to Earth.

Even with a pause in the music the party rolled along at a dull roar. Tired of dancing, Max and Dureena seated themselves at the last empty table right by the makeshift bar. Max gently nursed a drink in one hand and a portable terminal in the other, waiting for Dureena to answer him.

"Why?" She demanded, a distrustful edge to her words.

Max snorted out a laugh as he knowingly observed, "While I firmly believe no good deed ever goes unpunished, you saved the thing I hold most dear, my life."

Satisfied that the world was at it should be, Dureena relaxed. "Then this is your way of thanking me despite acting like nothing had happened. You should know I did it by instinct, had I thought about it-" She smiled at the implication.

Max cut in impatiently, "Are you going to accept or not?"

"As fun as stealing a shuttle would be, instead, yes, I accept."

"Good. One chartered freighter to Theta 49 coming up. I'll make sure its holds are filled with goodies for," Max paused seemingly stumped. "I don't even know what your people are called?"

"The Mayurin, it means simply the keepers in my language. But now you are being suspiciously generous again."

"Hardly, I won't spend a penny of my own money for any of this. I come from one of the finest and oldest families of Mars. So, I know all the best families and exactly who uses money to pretend they care enough to help those unfortunate, disadvantaged," he abruptly stopped becoming unusually self-conscious.

Dureena offered the bitter word that completed his sentence, "Savages."

After a brief pause Max gallantly offered, "Say what you will about me, at least I know enough not to call you that. I was surprised you let Galen return to the Excalibur without a couple knives stuck in him."

Max seemed about to laugh at his own joke but stopped himself when he saw Dureena's reaction, severe.

Dureena thought about the last month. It seemed to have lasted for years. All confusion and turmoil, with him at the center.

One month before the cure was found.

Dureena boarded the tram and took her usual seat opposite Galen. He sat in his usual spot near the window staring out, expression grim, body slightly tense.

In advance, she decided to ask him a question simple enough that perhaps he would give a clear answer. When she felt ready, she spoke, "Why do you ride these endless circuits?"

Steely blue eyes turned to Dureena, his answering tone as imperious as ever, "Why? …Why this is the natural state of Man. Running in pointless circles. Endlessly repeating."

She digested his smooth and practiced answer and countered, "If that were true shouldn't this train be packed? No, I think it is just your natural state."

Surprised eyebrows animated his brow and when he answered, his tone was all amusement. Dureena wondered if it was because she challenged him. "Perhaps … but since you are sitting here, it is more correct to say it is our natural state. Are you about to ask me to take you on as an apprentice, again?"

That question took her aback. Yes she had originally started keeping him company to press her suit, but quickly it had morphed into companionship. His opening up to her, however slightly, pleased and comforted her more than she cared to admit. Truth be told it had been days since she even thought of asking.

She chose to answer him honestly, "No. I hadn't thought to ask. I think I will wait until there is chance you will say yes."

Dureena looked away out the window of the moving tram, embarrassed for giving such a weak and frank answer. And truth be told to hide her reaction. As always, she was sure he could see right through her. Yes, she wanted his secrets. Her true motivation filled her. Instantly, every part of her overwhelmed by hatred and the need for revenge- for what was done to her people, to her. Against those who enjoyed murdering Jouric and poor cowardly Muri. All while she was forced to helplessly look on. Then afterwards … there was no savior, no justice and another year to endure before she escaped. She swore never to allow herself to be so powerless again.

Thrusting away the feelings, she regained some sense of control, enough anyway to look back into Galen's eyes. Her breath caught. All thoughts of anything bad fell out of mind, because instead of the usual arrogance or aloofness, all she saw was concern and sympathy. Her heart leapt toward him then as they stared at each other. She had wanted that moment to go on and on, but some awkwardness seemed to overwhelm him. He broke off, looked toward the floor, and shifted his weight crossing his legs stiffly. She continued to stare at his profile.

Whatever spell was on her broke when he spoke, "An improvement." He turned to look back out the window, but with a frown tugging the corner of his lip.

He continued speaking at the window, "You should know I have decided never to take you on as an apprentice."

Shocked, every part of her wanted to demand, Why?! Was this a test? Was it his real and final decision? She could not be sure and so she stayed quiet. Showing her anger would only prove his point that she was somehow unworthy. She continued to sit there, stop after stop, with eyes digging holes into him, and a hand hovering near one of the many knives she always had on her person.

As the first wave of fury subsided, she began to study him, giving her instincts full reign. They told her two things that she had missed till that moment. One, at least part of his discomfort with her was that he was affected by her, the way she affected too many of the males about her. Two, for once, this was not un-welcomed by her. Although clearly, it was unwelcomed by him. Was that the answer to her silent why? For a moment, she ruefully thought about her life in the Thieves guild. While a vast improvement over life as a slave, she had to trade too many of her nights for the knowledge she needed to prosper with them. Perhaps like some men he saw her as compromised, tainted. Could it be that he didn't want a compromised apprentice, and so refused to accept her tainted past? How could he even know? She had no idea, but she would not be ashamed of doing what she had to survive, and prosper in the guild. The tram halted at the docking bay stop. Galen stood and silently headed for the exit, mightily ignoring her. Dureena instantly decided, she would not give up.

"Wait," she said.

He stopped at the door gripping the bars with his hands till his knuckles turned white as she finished speaking, "I will be here tomorrow, anyway."

Something between a laugh and cry burst out of him, making her look up at him in surprise.

His sharp gaze and tone burned at her as he spoke, "Not giving up then?"

A flash of Jouric's smile as he held out his hand inviting her to dance went through Dureena's mind. She answered, "No." silently adding, 'Never again.'

He swept out of the tram. Part of her had wanted to follow him and make him speak to her about why, but she did not. As of that moment she was confounded by the feelings he had stirred up. The next day she was there and the day after, but he never came again.

Dureena came back to the present celebration. Absentmindedly, she stroked the small triangular sword inside its sheath on her waist. As always her fingers tingled slightly and turned cold. It was her sword, a large knife really. Two rounded blades pointed toward each other, fused at the tip, a handle completing the triangular effect, all a blue–gray metal. Sharp, cold, silent, deadly, reassuring, and dependable. For years, knives were the only things she trusted. That was until he entered her dreams … Galen, the living knife.

Whenever he saw fit, he cut into her more deeply than anyone she had ever known. The most recent is the most painful. It was like he held up a mirror and showed her what she really was. Not that she was afraid to see. It was just that he caught her completely unguarded. It seemed that once again, he just needed the right reaction of her. But this time it was not to make her weep to unlock the Path of Sorrows, it was to … she was not sure, to shock her perhaps.

Why had he said that. No it was no use dwelling on the past. Who knew why he said anything?! That man was utterly frustrating and confusing. When it came to Galen there as nothing but whys?! Why would he fight to destroy the Shadows technology when he was filled with it literally? Why did he want the sword so desperately only to give it back to her, like an act of charity? Most importantly, why did he choose her in the first place? He never explained himself. Never did. The few times he does speak, it was in suitably vague, wise-seeming utterances that contain little in the way of real information.

Silently, she cursed, Damn him! She slammed her fist against her thigh. Here she was once again obsessively thinking about him. She silently swore she was done trying to pry explanations out of him. At the same time she knew she would eagerly listen if he offered to explain himself. Dureena chastised herself for trying to get close to a technomage. Only fools tried to enter their shadow-soaked world. She should stop thinking about him. Yes, that was it. Just forget him, focus on getting back to Theta 49 and helping what was left of her people. The small voice in the back of her mind reminded her, easier said than done.

Max brought her back into the conversation with a soft question, "Are you going to forgive him?"

"There is nothing to forgive. He didn't say anything that wasn't true."

Max said with a conviction that spoke of experience, "From a woman that usually means no. Not that I'm complaining that leaves you free for the rest of us."

Quickly annoyed that he managed to read her inclination, she said, "Max ..."

He stopped her with a wave, "Don't worry I won't breathe a word of it to anyone and," He mimed between them, "Too bad. If I thought for a moment you'd say maybe, I'd invite you to see my collection of Pak'Ma'Ra mating stones." He raised his eyebrows at her.

Amused Dureena shook her head no and summed up her feelings toward him, "I'm glad to see you are still an ass at heart. I'm going to get something to eat."

She walked away from the table to Max's snide comments, "I'd avoid everything but the fruit if I were you."

Excalibur Bridge - December 23, 2269

Gideon sat hunched over a small display attached to the captain's chair, reviewing the Drakh fleet telemetry data for the tenth time.

Walking up to him, Lt. Matheson reported, "Both EarthForce and IA command have acknowledged your report sir." Not looking up, Gideon grunted a vaguely affirmative response. "Find anything new sir?"

"There is always something new Lieutenant. For example, I just noticed their speed. They weren't exactly going all out trying to catch us. Only after they were redirected did they go to full throttle."

"Are you saying they were shadowing us?"

"Not exactly, they were closing in, but slower then I would expect."

"Why would they do that?"

"Good question."

Matheson stood expecting him to continue but Gideon said nothing more.

Finally Lt. Matheson asked, "Care to let us lesser mortals in on the secret?"

"I promise you'll be the first as soon as I figure out what the hell is going on."

Worry entered Matheson's voice. "I'll feel a lot better when the White Stars show up."

Gideon grunted in agreement and asked, "Have there been any … unexplained fogs, holo-creatures flying about, or system security breaches?"

"No sir. Actually, there was a frozen door lock on observation room 1. I sent a repair team, but when they got there it was behaving normally."

I dry laugh came out of Gideon. "I think we can live without one of our ob. rooms."

"Are you expecting trouble from the other technomage?"

Gideon shrugged. Galen, despite their clashes, he trusted to be around. But this Federico. He was Galen's friend and that in of it by itself was enough to show courtesy. And the fact that he risked his life to misdirect the Drakh, a huge plus. That fight would have been ugly. Gideon looked down again at the terminal displaying the Drakh fleet and watched them slowly move away tangentially from the Excalibur. Maybe fatal. Did he trust Fed? That remained to be seen.

What really troubled Gideon, how surprised and concerned Galen was with Fed's arrival. Gideon hated it when Galen turned unsettled. It was never good news. His brow furled.

Turning to Lt. Matteson, Gideon ordered, "We need to stay on our toes. Double the marine guards on all vital areas. Let's go to battle ready stations and I want every gun issued to the crew starting with officers, NCOs and specialists down."

"Including the senior staff?"

"Yes. I doubt this is the last we've heard of the Drakh. They can't be this easy to fool."

Looking now equally worried, Matheson returned to his duties. While Gideon went back to studying the Drakh fleets movements trying to wring every last bit of information out of it.

Mars - Syria Planum - Conference Room of Top Secret Research EarthForce Facility - December 23, 2269

At the large conference table two men, who pushed just past the end of middle-age, sat facing a large tactical display on the wall. It showed the very report Captain Gideon just submitted to EarthForce.

One man wore the rank of General on his lapels. His chest while unadorned now, when he wore a full dress uniform, ribbons covered his chest, most earned painfully during the Earth-Minbari war.

The other very simply dressed- gray slacks, a collared tan shirt and a warm yellow, buttoned sweater. A cup of herbal tea steeped on the table in front of him sending up steam. His mustache and hair had been going gray for years. His face etched with a warm expression that any child would want on their grandfather, except for the eyes. Justin's shone with an arrogant certainty few managed to ever acquire.

The General said, "The Professor went over their doctor's report. It's not as effective as what we have but it appears to deactivate the virus and make it non-contagious. It should work as a cure. And as you can see," he pointed at the screen, "it now looks like they will avoid the Drakh."

The old man's mustache moved about as the warm expression to be replaced by instant irritation. "I can not believe that damn gambler pulled it off and years early to boot. He would make an excellent associate."

An incredulous look ran across the General's face for a moment. He challenged, "Please tell me you're kidding Justin. He half-destroyed Remil's base."

The other man said, "No, that was that Order technomage, Galen. That one, we should kill at first sight."

The General said with some apprehension, "Our contact aboard says there is another technomage. He was able to tight beam these."

Two blurry images from the Excalibur docking bay appeared side by side on the large screen; one of a second technomage ship landing and the other a fuzzy shot of three figures talking.

The old man studied the images. The flying gear symbol on the second technomage ship was not one he recognized. Of course the list Mr Morden compiled of the known Order technomages was over ten years out of date. This one must be one of the younger, newer mages. What a bother.

The General asked nervously, "Didn't they say the technomages were all dead except that Galen."

"Yes the Shadows thought so. Until we recovered the first hybrid's black box after the Cerberus incident. It showed a fleet of technomage ships fleeing. We investigated. But they had too much of a head start. They hid well. Even the First Shadow couldn't locate them."

The General looked to him for instruction. "What should we do?"

"Why contact our associates on Centauri Prime of course and let them know they are being played for fools. And move up the council meeting."

Angry now the General said, "The Minbari have already dispatched the Star Riders to intercept. Why not let them take care of the lizard heads? The original point of all this plague crap was to take the fucking bone-heads out of the game, yes? At least this way a few of them will finally die. And besides it's not like the Drakh will trust our word any more."

The old man reassured the soldier, "Now, now general, you need to keep your eye on the big picture. We'll show them all what humanity is capable of. The Minbari will wind up under our heels before you know it. Senator McQuate says he needs until the next election cycle to build the coalition. It is our job to give him that time. As for the Drakh, they won't trust us but they will use the information anyway like the good little servants they've always been. I'll come up with a contingency in case they fail us."

The General leant back in his chair, hesitating.

Justin didn't take that hesitation well. "Am I going to need to go through Mr. Jones's channels?"

"No. I just hate losing more of my people!"

The warm gentle expression returned as he reassured the General, "This cure can not make it back to Mars, and if it will not allow itself to be captured, the Excalibur must be destroyed." The General nodded once, and strode from the room.

When the door closed, two figures appeared out of nowhere flanking the seated old man. The one on the left, a very young man dressed in a black suit with an angel's face. But one distracted as if he listened to some heavenly conversation that barely interested him. The second, a tall lithe blonde in a blouse and a short skirt that thumbed its nose at societal modesty.

The woman placed a hand on Justin's shoulder and rested her chin on it. She whispered in his ear, "Please let me have Galen before you kill him. I need to thank him properly for saving my life on Z'Ha'Dum."

The old man shook his head at that for a while before announcing, "That hero never does know when to quit. No, he has proven to be too troublesome."

She withdrew her attentions to his shoulder. With a twirl, she planted her rear against the table, jutting out her chin, pouting.

"You're no fun Justin."

Justin shrugged and considered the pair. Finally he said to her, "Turn around. Take off your blouse"

The blonde's eyebrows arched at that. "I didn't think you were the sort to sexually harass his underlings. And in front of Mr. Alpha no less. You know you should watch out, he's the jealous type." She complied, eagerly slipping out of her blouse.

She braced herself against the table revealing her back to him. Two dark channels ran under her skin on either side of her spine, and up across her shoulders, down the backs of her arms like black subterranean rivers. Near her spine black tendriled spouts anchored the river at regular intervals on each side of her vertebrae. They stretched down disappearing below her waist. He gently prodded the thickest part along the spine with his fingers examining the length of her. The blackness writhed slightly at his prodding.

Satisfied he asked, "How do you feel?"

The woman practically purred her answer, "I thought being a P12 felt powerful. Now I feel indestructible."

Justin said, "Show me something offensive, both of you."

The young man blinked. With a laugh, he said, "I got something offensive, in my pants." Justin scowled at him. The young man sighed. Held out his hand, three fingers up and out. A tiny fiery ball formed, shot across the room, splashed across the wall leaving no scorch mark behind.

Slowly, the woman considered as she buttoned her shirt back up. The woman held out her hand over the tea mug on the table. A swirl of ice formed between her hand and cup. The tea chilled.

Furious, Justin yelled, "You haven't been practicing, have you?!"

The two, unconcerned at his outburst, stood there without restraining their smiles.

Mr. Alpha said, "It's not exactly easy. Plus, I'm finding it hard to concentrate." He winked at the blonde.

She waved back at him as she offered her excuse, "Actually, we've been practicing all morning."

The old man lost all patience. His hands lashed out and grabbed each one by the throat. As if they weighed nothing, he lifted them and slammed them on their backs on the conference table.

"I am unhappy with you. If you two do not improve rapidly, I will personally rip out your implants as painfully as possible."

The man twisted uselessly struggling against his choke hold. The woman sent a telepath strike to pierce Justin's mind. It hit as effectively as a twig striking a steel door.

Justin maintained his grip and said more, "I need to be able to rely on you two. Particularly as the new agents come online." They both began to turn red. Justin kept his deathly grip. "I hoped you would train and lead them, but you are not irreplaceable. If you do not behave and obey me, I will find more grateful recipients."

Just as they began to pass out, he let go. The man collapsed off the table on all fours panting. The woman remained on the table cradling her throat.

Incredulous, she hoarsely demanded, "How the hell did you block me?"

Justin condescendingly answered, "My dear Bunny, I served the Shadows longer than anyone else. Do you honestly think they'd leave me defenseless against your Vorlonish mind tricks? Now get up, we're moving up our plans. Get the primary seeder ready to move to our back-up facilities. The secondary seeder with the Professor will remain. Try to organize the functional betas to guard it. When you are done with that, you will spend all your time practicing until you are so exhausted, you collapse where you stand."

Mr. Alpha was the first to rise to his feet. "Why bother? That's a lot of work."

Shakily standing up the woman answered for Justin, "The other technomage."

"Very good my dear. A second one showing up suddenly and our plans being disrupted... I don't believe in coincidences. They might have crawled out of whatever hole they've been hiding in for the last dozen years. We must be prepared. I want you with me at the next council. I plan to introduce you," He pointed to the woman, "I've been negligent. It's been too long since the last loyalty scans. You will scan everyone. Go as deep as you need to. And you," He pointed to the young man aggressively, "will take care of any failures. No negotiations. No explanations. No hesitation."

The young man smiled. "No problem."

Bunny talked back, "Fine but don't expect me to humor those fossils. I don't believe in your xenophobic bullshit. I won't be gentle."

Justin relaxed. The grandfather returned. "I don't either, my dear. In many ways, the average alien is superior to any human. But what we lack physically and intellectually, we more then make up for with clever ambition. Add a little bioengineering and we will rule this galaxy. Now run along you two and do as you're told."

He dismissed them with a genteel wave of his hand. They left quickly while he was in a good mood.

He gently sighed, shaking his head disappointedly. "Kids today."