You Were so Happy… with Some Other Guy
A few hours later Ash returned back to camp and went immediately to bed. Next day he refused to say anything at all. It was to the point that it became a concern for Brock and May, they watched as Ash said nothing to Misty, and vice versa. Max seemed oblivious to the tension.
When they got through Mt. Moon after an endeavor involving a lost Cleffa and Team Rocket's usual shenanigans, Max began to develop a deep respect for Misty when they realized that they both had older sister problems. It wasn't long after that however when Max started to catch on to what was happening. After Misty left, they all noticed Ash's face became a lot darker than usual.
Anytime they would mention Misty or the past 72 hours he'd become more irritable, he would walk faster or start talking about something else or would scoff and ignore them. His tone dripped with sarcasm and acted very hostile, so they decided to drop the topic. They all tried asking him what was the matter, but Ash refused to answer.
They all became even more concerned when they watched him train his Pokémon later that week. "Grovyle! Bullet Seed on Corphish!" he yelled. Despite that they all knew that Ash's Corphish tended to be hardy, they were rather disturbed that Ash was being more intense with the water-type than usual, subjecting the Ruffian Pokémon to various strong – if not super effective – attacks.
"Phish!" Corphish cried out as the Wood Gecko Pokémon's strong grass attack struck him. Ash just watched with a hard stare.
Misty always boasted how water-types were the best… he thought bitterly, it was because of his friend's high opinion of them that caused Ash to suddenly feel the need to push Corphish even more harder than usual. I'll show her… she thinks that just because Tracey has a Marill and that I lost a battle to her that I'm no good with water-types! Grr…I'll show her that I'm just as good a trainer she is…
It was an odd string of thought, but it wasn't without merit. What Misty had said to him those few nights ago angered Ash. It wasn't his fault he was always away, he questioned why that should've mattered at all – and if she had needed someone's support, she could've easily called him. Heck, he called her his best friend, yet she went off and kept her relationship a secret from him, it was as if she was saying he wasn't worth it. Well, he wasn't going to stand for that, he'd show her.
"Cor…" Corphish groaned.
"Harden, Corphish," the Ruffian Pokémon did as told. "Now use multiple Aerial Aces, Swellow!"
His friends watched on, dismayed. "This is absurd," Brock murmured.
"It won't be long before Corphish will be knocked out. He can only stand so many attacks, even with the Defense boosts," Max agreed.
May couldn't stand to watch the training session any further. "Ash!" she yelled, "Stop this! Stop it right now! Can't you see Corphish is in pain?! This is too much, this isn't you! Ash, stop it!" she yelled at the top of her voice.
May's rise in volume and the meaning behind her words must've worked, because the once cold and angry expression on Ash's face melted away as he processed what she just said to him. Ash then turned to Corphish who looked exhausted and ready to faint. Meanwhile Swellow was u-turning in the air and was about to strike again when Ash noticed this and panicked, he had to stop this.
"Stop, Swellow!" Ash suddenly called out. The Swallow Pokémon quickly opened its wings and halted its assault on Corphish, the Ruffian Pokémon breathed a sigh of relief before kicking to the side and fainted. "C-Corphish are you all right?" Ash asked worriedly. He felt a bit better when Corphish managed a weak smile and nod for him before closing its eyes once more. Brock quickly came towards them and began to administer health care to it.
Ash stepped back, sighed, and quietly made his eyes disappear under the brim of his hat as he went to go stand to the side. He felt so stupid, what had he been thinking training Corphish like that? It wasn't him, it wasn't the way Misty taught…. Crap, don't think about her dude! Ash inwardly scolded himself, just the very thought of her was enough to upset him.
"Okay then, Ash," May began as she walked up behind where Ash stood, "how about you explain why you were being so hard on Corphish?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Ash replied glumly. He refused to turn around.
"I'm not buying that, Ash. Something's up with you, you've been cold, distant, and generally unpleasant to be with," May snapped back. "What happened to you? You use to be cheerier, fun to be with, and you certainly weren't training like this," she accused, turning her head towards where Corphish was resting. But Ash remained silent, May didn't see it, but he began to tremble. "And that reminds me of another thing," May went on, "just what really happened to you? A few days ago you were fine, but ever since Misty showed up you…"
"I said I don't want to talk about it!" Ash suddenly thundered at her, the very mention of Misty by name infuriating him as he turned to face May.
May was shocked; she took a moment to regain her bearings. "But when Misty…"
"I said I don't want to talk about it!"
"But Ash," May responded, she started to quiver fearfully, Ash's hard glare was scaring her, "we're just a bit worried because you haven't been the same since we left Professor Oak's laboratory and well now…"
"I'm just having a bad day, okay?"
"Well that's the thing, isn't it?"
"Oh really, some 'thing'?" Ash snapped sarcastically. "Oh, pray tell May, what thing is it?"
"Well… it's just that you have been angrier lately…"
"Well you're making me angrier now as it is! So just drop it already!"
"Woah… easy Ash," Brock cut in as he joined May. "May just is wondering what happened, that's all."
"Well I don't want to talk about what happened, and that's final! As if anything happened! I don't feel anything as happened so there!"
"But Ash…" May interjected. "It's just that…"
"Just what, May? Just what exactly?!" Ash rallied as he trembled, it took a lot of willpower to not get up in front of May's face as he said that.
"Ash!" Brock roared. "Calm down and just…!"
"Knock it off!" Ash yelled back suddenly, as tears started to run down his face in fury. "I don't want to talk about it, so just leave me alone!" With that Ash quickly turned on his heel and began to run.
"Ash!" May yelled and was about to run after Ash, but Brock stopped her.
Ash's remaining Pokémon quickly tried to chase after him, but stopped when Brock ordered them to.
"Brock, why?" May yelled. "Let me go!"
"I don't like any of this either," Brock began, "but given his state of mind I think it's best we leave Ash alone. It's obvious that whatever is troubling him is something he just isn't comfortable talking about, and that whatever it is, it's really taking a toll on him…" he ended ominously, turning to the direction Ash ran to…
OoOoO
Ash fled to a clearing, his mind burdened by what he had done to his Pokémon, it wasn't fair to them that they should suffer for his own selfish reasons. Ash also thought about his friends and if they should know about his issue. But the more he thought about it, the more Ash rationalized that telling them wouldn't be a good idea, the thought of the problem had already caused him enough grief, just the thought of Misty in Tracey's arms caused a wave of anger and sadness to overcome him.
Ash figured if he talked about it, his friends would just tell him, 'Oh well too bad, get over her. Find someone else.'
"Pah, as if I could if I wanted to!" Ash hissed under his breath. But try as he might, he couldn't see anything he could do to better his situation, Misty loved Tracey, Misty didn't love him, and from the way she spoke about their relationship, it didn't sound like one that could be broken apart. "Blast it...guess…I guess I will just have to forget about her."
Soon enough Ash finished blowing off steam and returned to camp. He was nervous about it as he had been pretty mad at May and Brock, he hoped he wouldn't have to explain himself.
Upon arriving back, Ash saw May seemed to be camping for him. She stood up and walked over to him instantly. Ash looked shamefully away, but what May said surprised him. "Ash, are you feeling better now?"
Ash blinked at the question. "Listen, May, I'm sorr…"
"Ash," May interrupted, "are you feeling better now?"
Ash stared. "Um…yes. Yeah… I'm…I'm feeling a bit better."
"Good," May smiled, and began to walk away.
"Wait, May!" Ash yelled. Luckily this caught her attention and she faced him. "I'm sorry for snapping at you."
"That's all right," May answered. Ash blinked and was about to retort but May silenced him with a raise of her hand. "I mean it Ash, it's okay, you don't have to say anything – you just needed to blow off some steam anyways. Besides," she went on cheekily, "this is the first time I've seen you so hung up on something besides Pokémon."
Ash stared before realizing what May meant by that. "Hey! I resent that!"
May said nothing but smirked before continuing, "Anyways, I'm sorry, I'm the one who began to interrogate you on the spot, right? It's not me you should apologize to, I mean, I fight with Max all the time so I'm used to it – really it's Corphish who you apologize to." And with that, May offered a genuine smile and walked away.
After that Ash went to apologize to Corphish for the rough training session; luckily, the Ruffian Pokémon took it in its stride and waved it off. But Ash was more put off by the behavior of his friends, as all evening May never brought up what had started the argument, and Brock and Max remained stone cold silent as well. Instead they acted as if it didn't happen, or brushed it off as no big deal and were casual about it. By the end of the day, Ash decided that if they were willing to let the matter slide, then he would as well.
In a way Ash welcomed that silence, it meant that during the day he could focus on Pokémon and his training. But the problems soon began every night when he couldn't sleep, in his tired state of mind somehow his thoughts became those about Misty, he would look hazily around and see her, only for him to blink and suddenly she wasn't there.
Ash honestly could say he tried to focus his attention on his Pokémon and having fun, it worked during the day but at night she haunted him, and it was even worse whenever they passed by places he remembered from his days of travelling with Misty, or if they ran into an old acquaintance of theirs, it made the dreams worst. He could open a book and suddenly before him was her image and name, only to fade away from his sight just as fast. The worse was, every time he thought of her, that ocean from that night would come back, raging a storm, and even though there was a great distance between the two of them, her face was always clear as crystal to him, Ash would cry out in vain to Misty across that ocean, only for her to turn around and suddenly fade into the wind and rain. Each time that happened Ash would suddenly regain his consciousness and snap back to the real world. It pained him, but somehow he always managed to keep a straight face.
Brock, Max and May all seemed oblivious to the problem, they thought that when Ash's sudden fits and rages had stopped that whatever previous issue that had been troubling him had been resolved, but it wasn't the case. Ash still had his demons; he just managed to keep it well hidden from them. It's better this way… he would rationalize to himself.
But with every day that passed with his secret kept safe amounted itself to another day where his mental state would decay even further...
OoOoO
"Now Sceptile, use Bullet Seed!" Ash called out. Damn it, surely now you've gotten over it?
"Scept… tile?" Sceptile sighed in defeat, once again unable to perform an attack
The others sighed. "Poor Sceptile must still be feeling the pain of a broken heart," May murmured. Ash snarled at May's words, as if Sceptile had any right to be so bummed out over a Meganium that they had all known just for one day.
Ash angrily strolled up to Sceptile. "Hey, come on, you can do those moves! You have to try harder. Get that stuff out of your mind and do it!" he snapped. All the while his thoughts drifted somewhere else… As if you ever know true heartbreak, try knowing you like your best friend for years only for her to…
"You're just making it worse, you know," a suave voice coolly interrupted, as stepping into the groups view was Drew Hayden. "You're not thinking about it from Sceptile's point of view."
Drew then walked to the front of Sceptile to comfort the grass-type. "Telling your Pokémon to try harder only gives them more stress – and you don't need that, right?" Drew went on.
Screw you! I know enough to tell you it's stupid to think that way, Ash angrily thought as his eye twitched, Pikachu murmured uncomfortably from where he was on Ash's shoulder. I know what's best for my Pokémon and I know they don't need to be bogged down by stupid love issues!
Ash was ready to snap at the younger male for his interference but then May started up a conversation with the coordinator, something to do with a note May had found in her room with no sender labelled last night. Drew, as per his usual self casually, but confidently, told May that doing that wasn't his style. Ash and others quickly called his bluff, and Pikachu laughed heartily as Drew blushed under everyone's gazes of mocked wonder.
Pff, this dude is so freaking obvious, just ask May out already you grass-headed chump, Ash thought to himself as Drew explained his situation. The signs were easy to tell but for Drew's own sake, Ash decided not to let onto May that is was obvious Drew's roses and snide remarks were all just a variation of flirting.
As the day went on Ash and the others watched as some girl named Brianna stepped into the fold. From what Ash and the others could gather Brianna was a new coordinator who in Ash's opinion clearly saw May as a love rival for Drew's affection, and Ash just couldn't help but inwardly feel put out as May paid casual attention to the matter. Not that the teen drama mattered to her, as May had a perfect scapegoat in obtaining her Contest ribbon.
During the contest Drew's words played on Ash's mind, each time he thought of them, he would just scoffed inwardly to. As far as Ash was concerned, Drew knew nothing about real broken hearts; he was just trying to save face in front of May...
Lucky May, Ash thought to himself, feeling slightly jealous.
OoOoO
Months went by and it was near the end of summer, but the changing seasons weren't on Ash's mind. Recently he had just defeated Salon Maiden Anabel – a girl who he soon picked up had a crush on him. Ash had played it cool and acted indifferent and was relieved that Anabel didn't try to use her psychic abilities on him to try and read his feelings, otherwise it would've revealed every dark and upset thought that he had stowed into the back of his conscious. All the same in spite of the awkward situation he had prevailed and earned his Ability symbol – this left him with only the Brave symbol left to obtain.
The Battle Pyramid was near Pewter City, but May had been insistent after the Mulberry Contest that she wanted to take her Eevee and Squirtle to the coast, and that meant having to go to Cerulean City…
She said they'd only be there for a day but the moment she revealed where she wanted to go Ash's anxiety levels went up. He had a fight with May over why, but in the end gave up trying as May refused to budge.
Brock saw the opportunity as a great way to stock up on supplies, and Max wanted to see all of the water-type Pokémon. They all took care not to mention Misty, they didn't know why, but they had the feeling something would go terribly wrong if they did. Ash at first wanted to just wait around for them at Sable City, but the risk of separating was too big so Ash begrudgingly agreed to go.
When they got there, the group split up. "Right," Brock began, "I'll go check on some breeder material, pokechow and that sort of thing. Max, you're coming along with me, right?" The black haired kid nodded, he then casted a wary glance at Ash. "Good, how about you Ash, want to come along?"
"No thanks," Ash quickly said. "I'll – uh – wait for you guys outside the city."
Brock and Max looked at each other in concern but weren't sure what to say. "Okay then," Brock began, "just be safe out there. We'll see you later."
"Right," Ash replied, nodding as he went to go. "Let's go Pikachu, let's get the heck out of here."
Ash wouldn't say that he knew Cerulean like the back of his hand, but he had seen enough of the place to know the farthest path he could take that strayed far away from where the Cerulean gym, it went along a street covered with houses and apartment buildings. Ash would occasionally glance around, it may be a city, but it wasn't safe to assume that somehow you couldn't run into old unwelcomed familiar faces. He was two miles away from the gym, it was safe enough he kept telling himself.
"Pikapi, chupi, pika pik Pikachu pikachupi!" Pikachu scolded at him.
"Be quiet," Ash hissed. "It's none of my concern, not as if what I think matters anyways. I just want to get out of here and everything will be okay." Turning a street corner, the map had told him this would be the last stretch before the city limit came within view, he was so close…
But as he turned towards a narrow street, Ash's heart skipped a beat and his stomach pinched – Pikachu stared alongside him, both of them were stunned speechless. Ash tried to move away, but it was as if cement was holding him in place.
There in front of him was Misty out in the street, with Tracey, holding hands, and they were in the middle of a kiss. Her hair was down, and Ash noticed immediately that it went a little ways past her pale shoulders…why was he thinking like that? He cringed on hearing her moan from the kiss. It sent shivers down his spine and kept him glued to the spot, yet at the same time gave him the urge to run up and punch Tracey. He didn't know what to do and so he stood there, unable to move.
Misty sighed as Tracey moved off of her. "I love you, Tracey."
Something in Ash churned seeing her look at Tracey the way she did, and cringed when he saw Tracey smile back at her. "Love you too Mist. Are you ready to go to lunch now?" Tracey asked her.
"Very," she happily responded. But when she turned to walk ahead, she had to stop as her eyes fell to the last person she was expecting to see. "Ash? What are you doing here?"
Ash couldn't say anything. Seeing her move to face him made him more paralyzed than he was before, his eyes met her shimmering cerulean ones, and his gaze couldn't help but notice the pale blue dress she was wearing, and the way her hair flowed looked simply awing to him. She looked so stunning…
"Ash, are you even listening to me? I asked 'What are you doing here?'!" Misty yelled. Her voice snapped him out of his reverie and his gaze fell on her as she looked at him with an indescribable look.
"I – um – er – I well…" Ash stammered, her beauty alone confused him making him unable to concentrate. He quickly averted his gaze to the cement. "I w-was j-j…just passing through."
"Just passing?" she repeated, as if skeptical of his reasoning.
"Yeah…um…" Ash could only trail off, his mind was racing and he couldn't get it under control. "I'm clearly interrupting something," he quickly turned around on his heel before continuing, "and I need to be somewhere so I'll just be going and–"
"Hold it right there Ketchum," Misty burst out suddenly, catching Ash off guard. "In the first place what are you thinking coming here to Cerulean City without telling me figuring that somehow I wouldn't bump into you? Secondly, I'm not that busy nor in the middle of something, I think you're…"
Ash suddenly turned around on her. "I think the better question, Waterflower, is 'Why are you sneaking around so far away from your gym?'!" he snapped as he pointed in the direction of the Dewgong labelled dome indicating the cities gym location in comparison to theirs.
Misty glared at him. "What does it look like I'm doing Ash?"
"G-g-going…on…a d-d-da…" he knew what was going on, but Ash couldn't find the courage to say it.
"Yes Ash, a date."
"Oh um…"
"Misty," Tracey muttered impatiently whilst looking very uncomfortable, "it's almost time for our reservation…"
"Oh right!" Misty said, with more cheeriness than what she gave Ash. "Yes of course sweetie, it'll be fun!" Ash felt a surge of animosity well within him and he stared hard at Misty in a way that conveyed just how he felt about the situation, he was so upset, why Tracey, why not him. The very fact he just heard her call the Watcher 'sweetie' made his blood boil. Misty noticed this and stared back. "What's wrong with you?"
Ash's lips formed a tight frown and he looked away. "Nothing – it's nothing at all."
"Tracey," Misty asked politely, "could please wait for me by the corner? Ash and I have something we need to talk about."
"Uh okay, sure," Tracey responded and walked away. Misty smiled in his direction till he disappeared behind the corner, and then swung round to face Ash.
"What on earth is up with you?"
"What are you talking about? No clue what you're going off about, I'm fine."
"Ash," Misty said impatiently, "I can tell when something is bothering you, now spill it!"
Yeah, there's a ton of things I want to say to you right now, Ash thought to himself, but he wasn't sure if he could say what he wanted to say. To admit his thoughts had been that he was jealous, that she shouldn't date Tracey, and that he loved her more than anything. But could he do that, admit it all when she looked so happy? Ash took a moment to meet her eyes – and in that instant he knew his choice. "I just…what about me Mist?" he finally said. Misty was confused.
"Huh?"
"Considering that well…" he began as he buried his hands deep into his pockets, kicking the cement as he did so, "you're dating Tracey! It…it's as if you don't have time to be my friend anymore!" Even though I wish you'd be more…
"Oh…" Misty murmured. "Well it's…kind of hard to be friends with a boy when you're dating, y'know."
"I…I…I don't…"
"Ash," Misty began, the softness of her voice tugged on his heart strings, Ash regretted his decision. "I know this sounds hard, but being together with Tracey…it's been the best times of my life these past few months. We've become more comfortable with our relationship these past few weeks, and it's wonderful, and I've been feeling that all because…" she trailed off, as if not sure what to say.
Ash was confused why Misty stopped. But when he saw her eyes he suddenly felt that same ocean from before coming in between them, he shivered, in truth it was actually just a small breeze, but to Ash it felt like a gale…
"B-b-cause…?" Ash barely got out. He spoke as if Misty couldn't hear him, but she heard him loud and clear. Her voice came to him like a lighthouse's foghorn.
"Because I've moved on from you," she said.
Ash stared, "W-wait, what's that supposed to mean?" No…no…t-that's not – you aren't saying that you…
"I'm saying it now, because I need to – Ash Ketchum, I use to be in love you!"
Ash had no words to say, he felt all the air in him leave his body and he felt light headed, he leaned back against the wall behind him in shock. Pikachu was instantly shocked and wanted to yell something on behalf of Ash, but could only squeak out, "Pikachupi…"
Misty misinterpreted Ash's action. "I know it sounds absurd, doesn't it?" she began, not paying attention to the boy's expression. "I don't know when, or how, but somehow…I fell for you. In the end, I guess it didn't matter how I felt back then."
Ash wanted to respond, but couldn't, his throat was dry.
"You saw me as just a friend," Misty continued, "and well, I suppose you'd want to know why I didn't say anything back then? I didn't want to risk our friendship, I liked having you as a friend so much – that and you never really showed that much interest in me, can't blame you, you never saw me as pretty, most of the time you thought I wasn't even close. That and the bond we had as just friends was too good to just break over my little crush – and then well…we separated, you didn't even call me any time afterwards, at all. I'll admit, I missed you a lot during those times. During that time I soon began to see Tracey around a lot more often and well I fell for him, with Tracey for the first time in my life someone I liked began having feelings for me, feelings that I could reciprocate without regret, he helped me out so much…I don't know what I'd have done back then without him.
"Lucky you, right?" she continued, as Ash stared helplessly. Misty mistook it as Ash not understanding. "So now you don't ever have to worry about breaking my heart if you didn't feel the same. Honestly I was hoping that I could tell you how I felt, I kept thinking that you would reciprocate, but in the end those were just fevered dreams. But now that I've been able to look past my old feelings for you, I've enjoyed a loving new relationship, now I can't help but feel that it was silly of me back then to think that we could ever work as lovers, because what me and Tracey have now is so perfect. I mean you and me? That would be silly, right? 'No sense in going out of your way to get the attention of someone you like' or whatever it was you said."
"Mist…" Ash barely choked out from the dryness, once again his own words were being used against him, and he felt like his chest was freezing over. But Misty didn't hear a word.
"As I said, I've come to terms with my old feelings. Sorry I had to tell you like this, you probably have a bunch of things on your mind, and finding out your best friend had a crush on you isn't what you had in mind on finding out today, but now you know…but don't worry! Don't feel guilty over not feeling anything for me." Ash felt as though ice was falling on him again, nothing she was saying about him was true! "Moving on from you and looking forward to my future, it was for the best. You and I as a couple just wouldn't have worked out."
But to Ash that wasn't true at all, nor did he agree that 'it was for the best', he tried to say something in objection but the words couldn't come out as his body felt colder and colder as he fidgeted uncomfortably. He felt dizzy and was trying his best not to cry, to scream, to do anything – all of these revelations were making him dizzy and his body weak.
Ash raised his head, hoping the dizziness would stop, but instead met Misty's eyes, her cerulean orbs made him lose his breath, he now felt that he had to say something…
But just as their eyes did fully meet, Misty broke away to check her watch and suddenly became excited. "Oh! What a way to lose the time! Only five minutes till our reservation time, gotta go! Bye! See you round." And before Ash could say anything, Misty ran off. He watched her go, distress written all over his face as he was left to reflect on the conversation that happened, and just how…happy she was, with another boy, and he wasn't him.
He had seen her happy before, but this was different, she was happy with a boyfriend, a boyfriend who wasn't him, and would never be him, the smiles she had made coincided with everything she said last time. Tracey was the one, and now, it seemed like he was the one she would want to marry. The thought made Ash feel weak, inadequate… Misty was happy, smiling and laughing…and it was all because he – once the crush-Ash-Ketchum – was out of picture…
The moisture fully returned to his throat and Ash began to cry, he gave up holding himself up and gravity forced his legs to buckle and his backpack ground against the wall. He hit the cold pavement with a thud which he failed to feel the pain from, the pain in his heart was already excruciating enough.
Pikachu was frantic. "Pikapi! Kachu pika pi pika chu!" Ash! Don't let it get to you!
But Pikachu's encouragement didn't help, Ash was hugging himself by the knees and his crying intense, he was so overcome with grief. "I'm…I'm so…s-stupid…" he sobbed. "She…she…like…I…" he didn't get further and continued to grieve, the cold waves of his imaginary ocean enveloping him, making him feel colder and colder.
Pikachu could only watch on helplessly before deciding the best course of action for Ash was to get Brock as soon as possible. He ran off quickly to go search for him.
At first Brock and Max were incredibly confused when they were walking out of the Poké Mart and saw Pikachu running up frantically towards them, but when they saw how worried the Mouse Pokémon was they became concerned that it might concern Ash and so they quickly followed Pikachu.
When they got to Ash both were shocked to see Ash sitting on the pavement leaning against a properties wall, his cheeks stained with tears. He was still sobbing.
"Ash!" Brock yelled as he came up, he put a hand on the raven haired boy's back. "Ash, what's wrong? Did something happen?" Ash didn't respond, he just opened his eyes, revealing red eyes and a very melancholic look, after looking Brock in the eyes, Ash just went pack to staring at the pavement. Bonsly, who was outside of his Pokéball and in Brock's arms began to bawl his eyes out at the sight of Ash's depressed state. Brock tried to get Ash to talk, but Ash remained stone faced.
With the help of Max, Brock lifted Ash up to his feet, without another word or acknowledgement Ash began to slowly walk forward. "Ash?" Brock and Max both began gently. "What happened?"
Ash stopped, and turned towards them, he was debating on whether or not to say anything about what really happened. Max was a tease and Misty's false belief in that Ash couldn't change was rooted thanks to Max's timing, and Brock was a relentless flirt who had yet to win a heart. There was no way he'd say anything.
"I saw something unfold that was beyond anything I ever wanted to witness," Ash ominously replied, "it caused me pain here, that's all," he went on as he motioned to his heart. Brock and Max were confused by the cryptic message and tried to get Ash to talk about it, but he only kept brushing their concerns off saying he didn't wish to discuss what he saw, citing it was personal and kept on walking towards the city limit. There he simply sat down on the grass outside and brooded until May caught up.
OoOoO
May had no luck either trying to get Ash to talk. In the end all three gave up trying to get him to say anything, they figured that whatever personal problem it was affecting him that it was something only he could deal with. But whilst they all carried on like normal, Ash's mood declined, he felt upset that he had allowed his vanity to make him believe that she would wait for him. Jealousy also wasn't out of the question, it was clear Misty was making strides to further her relationship with Tracey, and he had completely terminated theirs…even if he hadn't meant to. It was a real conundrum and it caused him to reflect on his relationships and thought a great deal about how his current three friends handled their relationships.
May and Max often made calls to check in with their parents, and even Brock kept loose contact with his folks via email. But Ash didn't even bother so much as to call his Mom every now and then, and worse still, he hadn't even called Misty as much as he should've. Misty and him, they were friends, but Ash began to feel like they weren't even Best Friends anymore. "What kind of 'best friend' doesn't even call or check in?" he would say to himself in his alone time. "She's so happy, but here I am feeling jealous all because I couldn't bother to pick up the phone every once in a while…what kind of friend does that make me?"
He felt so guilty, Misty was happy with Tracey that much was clear to see. In turn he should've been happy for them. Two of his good friends together in a relationship, that should be something to feel good about, but to him it wasn't, and he felt terrible for feeling that way.
Ash sighed, his thoughts kept going back on everything she had said from the first day he got back to Kanto to the last time he saw Misty and he couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking in regards to him to make her change her view of him so much. He couldn't get her out of his mind, about how she had evolved since leaving him, her Gyarados and boyfriend all serving as symbols of that change, and he didn't even have a clue about any of it.
Ash could only blame himself, and not just for failing her, but it was becoming obvious that Misty was affecting him so much he began to fail even his own Pokémon.
Pyramid King Brandon hadn't gotten his title for nothing; the fact that the man had not only a Regirock, but a Registeel in his party of Pokémon was solid proof that he had earned his title as Battle Frontier King. Normally Ash felt he could focus solely on winning his battles, especially against strong opponents. But even as he fought hard against Brandon's Registeel with his Torkoal, for all Scott's talk about how he looked so calm in battle, inwardly Ash still felt numb, numbed at the thought that whilst he was there battling for a prestigious title, elsewhere was Misty leading her life, having fun…fun with Tracey.
Ash had been so focused on himself and what he was doing along with his friends, the thought of what other people were doing at the same time never crossed his mind, and it caused him to miss out on so much of their lives. He couldn't explain why he felt the way he did, but something about just thinking about his ignorance made him feel weak, pathetic and undeserving of any friendship that he called strong. Especially, he felt, if he had done that to Misty, and he had done exactly that.
When Torkoal was pronounced unable to battle, Ash felt ashamed, not only had he just lost, but he has lost on account of Misty plaguing his mind. It felt awful, he wondered why couldn't just forget about her, but he couldn't.
Professor Oak came to see him not long after the battle with gifts. He presented Ash with a special art piece made by his Pokémon along with a 'FIGHT' logo…by Tracey. Ash couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt course through him when he resented hearing Tracey's name, it wasn't Sketchit's fault, but deep down he still felt livid that it was Tracey who asked Misty out first and not him. His other present was special bento box made for him by his Mom.
"…And," Professor Oak went on after revealing the bento, "here's a present from Misty." Ash felt his heart skip a beat the moment the Professor said 'Misty', and stared as Professor Oak revealed a lure in her image that he knew she made herself. He took it into his hand and stared longingly at it, her special lure, the one she crafted herself that she had never wanted to share at first. He touched the lure's shape in a sort of daze as he was entranced by its portrayal of her in her old travelling clothes and her countenance winking at him filled him with a strange happiness – it awed him that she would even consider gifting him it.
Pikachu certainly was pleased to see it, squealing excitedly, "Pikachupi!" upon glancing at it. Ash however continued to stare.
Brock smiled upon recognizing the object. "That's the Misty special."
"It sure looks interesting," May said.
"Like it'll catch anything," Max chipped in.
However Ash didn't hear a word they said, he tightened his hold on the object, and blinked away the small tears that were threatening to come out. It was Professor Oak who broke him out of his trance but Ash was barely paying attention, he heard something about fishing but Ash was hardly interested in doing any of that. The Professor also brought attention to what Gary was up to, something about him being based in some region called Sinnoh, but Ash wasn't paying all that attention, but he did have to admit, the postcard did at least look nice. But pine trees and a lake wasn't anything when compared to the one whose image was encompassed by that lure. Even as the Professor and his friends discussed the revelations of what his old rival was up to, Ash couldn't be bothered by it.
He thought instead of her, he quietly slipped a few feet away from their sights – except for Pikachu who watched him the whole while – to handle the lure, something about doing that brought him comfort. Yet it also saddened him, they never hugged once when they travelled together, the closest was hand holding or shaking, or if he dared to remember – her sleeping on top of him or next to him whenever that Jigglypuff stirred up trouble. Touching her image only reminded him of how far apart they really were, under most circumstances this might've made him realize an ugly truth, but it only worked in making his need for her stronger – perhaps this gift to him was sign, or just a symbol of their friendship. Ash couldn't pin it, but something about this lure made him conflicted, yet affirmed something, he sighed and gave it a quick squeeze from within his pockets, and quickly removed his hand to rejoin his friends.
Pikachu gave him look, "Pikapi, Pikachu pika pi chu chu pi? Pikachupi…chu pika pika chu pikachue pika…pik, Pikachu pika chu chupi, chu pika cha?" Ash, just how can you keep going on like this? Misty…I like her just as you do…but, she's made her choice, why fight it?
Ash was pretty sure there were times when he understood Pikachu, but sometimes he had a feeling that often it wasn't just a hunch of what his partner was saying, but a strange psychological connection that made it out as if he did fully understand everything Pikachu was saying, but just didn't know he did.
"Buddy," he began quietly. "I don't how, I don't know when, but I know, I can't give up." But even if his words were strong, Ash and Pikachu somehow both felt deep down…that maybe Ash was just merely grasping at straws…Ash tried to bury the thought, but for the rest of the day it gnawed at him, Pikachu stay wisely and respectfully silent.