They didn't do much the rest of that day, both too tired from the flight and the time difference in order to really do anything. So they ended up on the couch for a couple hours, watching a movie, but then Kate excused herself to her room in order to take a bath. Castle couldn't stop the images conjuring up in his mind but managed to keep himself away from snooping by sitting down in his office to get some writing done. Kate didn't really know how to act around him, they weren't solving crimes, they weren't building theories, they weren't working, so what were they really going? They never really hung out like this before. Sure, they'd done takeout dinner a couple times, and they'd had drinks, but that had always been after a tough case. That's why she'd escaped to the bathroom, saying she wanted to shower the flight off her body. She needed some time to think, needed to have some time to herself in order to figure out what to do. The fact that he had brought her to his vacation house in France had her mind spinning with thoughts of why. She'd known he cared about her, had seen the hurtful look he had the previous summer when she was with Demming. It had probably been the same look she'd had when he walked off with Gina, his ex-wife that same summer. But they were both single now. Where did that leave them? What did it mean he'd brought her out there?
"What are we doing?" she breathed out on a sigh before taking a deep breath and going under water to hold her breath for as long as she could.
How was she supposed to keep her heart from getting hurt when he kept doing sweet things for her? God, she could feel herself tripping. If she was true to herself she'd been tripping for quite a while though. Breaking the surface when she couldn't stay longer under water she decided she'd been in the water for too long and as she got dressed she couldn't help but wonder what her partner was doing. Walking out of her bedroom she started towards the stairs and therefore towards the kitchen and living area, but a sound coming from another room had her stop in her tracks. Turning around she saw the lights being on inside the room he'd told her was his office and that's when she recognized the sound as fingers dancing on a keyboard, he was writing.
As quietly as she was capable of being she tiptoed towards the open door, couldn't stop the curiosity of seeing him in his natural habitat. Peeking inside she was surprised to see him engulfed in his laptop, she was pretty sure she'd never seen him so concentrated. Well, perhaps except that Nikki Heat case they had when he had been very focused on trying to find the killer, or whenever her mother's case had been brought up. But seeing him like this, writing, was awfully enchanting. She wondered what he was writing, was he working on the next Nikki Heat? If he was, what were their alter egos doing? Leaning against the door frame she didn't know for how long she was standing there, simply watching him, but all of a sudden blue eyes met hazel and his body jumped in his seat at the realization someone was standing in his doorway.
"Jeez!" he exclaimed with his hand over his heart and she felt her cheeks blush furiously at being caught.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" she excused as she straightened up from the doorframe, her eyes looking around the office.
That's when she noticed the photo frames all over the book shelves and she found herself walking to one of the shelves in order to look at the photos. There were photos of him and Alexis from when she was a baby, a kid, even some from now. There were also photos that she assumed was of himself as a kid, pictures of him and Martha. There were even a few with the three Castles all together. There was one picture in particular her eyes got stuck on, it was one of him with Alexis as a toddler. Alexis was almost completely nude except for her diaper and her skin was covered in paint while Castle was standing behind her with only a pair of shorts and his skin as covered with paint as she was. The ground was covered with paper and Kate figured the writer and his daughter had been painting it together with their hands and feet instead of with the usual brush.
She found herself smiling, her heart warming with the sudden feel of family, it reminded her so much of the small adventures she herself had with her parents. She couldn't remember ever painting a paper with her whole body, like in the picture, but she remembered her mom and her dad coming up with the craziest of things to help her learn different things while having fun. She remember her mom turning their whole first apartment into a zoo with all animals from Africa represented by stuffed animals. Her mom and dad had let her use real binoculars and bought those typical adventure hats while they searched each room for every animal and tried to find out as much of them as they could. As a small girl she had believed the stuffed animals to be magic because she could indeed see them move and sound as they should, she was engulfed with the adventure that she believed they actually went to Africa and saw the animals in real life. It took them the whole day to walk through the whole zoo, and eventually Kate had crashed on her mom's chest, sleeping as deep as ever.
"What are you thinking about?" Castle's sudden question had her flinch and she opened her eyes to realize she'd closed them in order to remember. She hadn't even noticed when he'd walked up to her until he opened his mouth. Apparently he was now standing right beside her and when she glanced to him she could see he was observing her. Like always.
"Nothing," she bit her lip, hadn't meant to let her mind slither away like it had. "You got a little carried away, huh?" she teased instead, moved his focus from her to the picture of him and Alexis by pointing her finger to it.
She could feel the small disappointment from him when she changed the subject but as soon as his blues reached the photo she implied he let go of a chuckle, which immediately had her body loosen up.
"Actually we got a little carried away," he said in between chuckles. "The second Alexis thought she was done with the paper she started to paint me instead, it didn't take long before I had colors everywhere, including my hair. Thank god for the kids's paint being made to be easy removed from both clothes and skin."
Kate laughed with him, looked back at the picture and saw how his naked chest was filled with small handprints, as if the small girl had drummed her hands on his chest along with his stomach to paint every inch she could find. He also had two very bright colored handprints on his cheeks, as if his daughter had squeezed his face between her hands.
"You know, sometimes I forget how great it must be for you to be able to reach your innocent child so easily," she said before she really processed her thought and she felt his eyes on her.
"What do you mean?" he asked and she cursed herself before turning to him, meeting his asking eyes.
"I mean, Alexis must've loved the way you so easily could connect to her world. You're not just a boring adult like me but can be a child whenever something magical catches your interest."
His eyes widened at her comment and she was surprised to see him shaking his head almost immediately. She was about to ask him why he didn't believe himself to have so easy access to his inner child when he opened her mouth and surprised her with what had truly upset him.
"You're not boring, you've never been boring. If you were boring I hadn't shadowed you for these past three years," he argued, his blue eyes piercing into hers. "When you get a kid you'll see how easy it is to connect to their world, you know a few magic tricks right? Just that is enough to become one of them, besides you've been a kid right?"
She was a bit taken aback with his sudden need to assure her of this. As if he could see the fright in her eyes even though she hadn't intended for him to see it.
"But I don't believe in magic," she said with a shrug. "I don't believe in most things that I can't see or touch."
"Did you believe in magic when you were a kid?" he countered and she immediately thought back to the memory she'd relived only minutes before.
"That's different," she started to say but he shook his head with a smile on his lips.
"Not really, if you believed when you were a kid you already got some of it in you. Besides, you can always pretend you do, for the sake of your kid," he assured her with bright eyes before he bit his lip. "That is, if you do want kids, I'm well aware not everyone do."
It almost sounded as if he was asking her, if she wanted kids, but didn't want to force her into answering it. He looked to the photo that had started this whole conversation and they went silent for a few minutes. Kate was suddenly very aware of him, how close he was standing, very aware of their conversation about kids, why did it make her feel nervous all of a sudden? She'd always assumed she'd have kids eventually, it wasn't like she wanted them right away but, still, the feeling of creating a family always felt like a possibility she wanted to explore. She wanted to have what her mom and dad had. She wanted to wake up to the sounds of small feet padding around the bed, wanted to know the feeling of a little boy or girl hugging her like she was one of the greatest things on earth. But ever since her mom died she'd been so focused on her career that she'd just figured that time would come eventually, just not yet. She wanted it in the future, but just not right now.
"I don't know about you but I'm starving again, care to join me for some dinner?"
Once again Castle interrupted her thoughts but she was rather thankful this time, because she still didn't know if she wanted to answer his non-question or not. She looked at him and smiled at the gentleness evident in his eyes.
"I could eat," she nodded and they set their steps towards the kitchen.
After dinner Castle made them some coffee and told her about the amazing view the balcony had over the sea during the sunset, which had apparently been one of the reasons he'd bought the house in the first place. It was due to this that they ended up on the couch he'd placed on the balcony, the two of them sharing a blanket over their laps with their coffees in their hands. Kate couldn't agree more, the view was absolutely stunning, and it was kind of magical to see the sky change color in pace with the sun lowering towards the end of the horizon. It was getting a bit chilly though, and Kate found herself scooting closer to the man beside her, so close their thighs were brushing, as she cradled her coffee mug in order to keep her fingers warm. Every now and then she took a sip to feel the warm liquid slide down her throat and burn her insides.
"This is perfect," she sighed out, not aware she was thinking out loud until he hummed in agreement.
She felt her cheeks blush at that, she was certainly not used to this softer side of herself, wasn't even aware she could be anything other than tensed and alert. Ever since her mom was... she hadn't ever felt the tense go away, unless she had passed out from way too much work and no rest.
"Thank you for coming here, for not being your normal stubborn self and staying put," Castle whispered and she put her hair behind her ear.
"Yeah, I'm... thanks for inviting me," she said and they went silent as they continue to watch the colors of the sky.
She could feel herself relax even further, once her coffee was gone she found herself getting sleepier and soon couldn't stop her head from slowly falling down to land on his shoulder. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear a voice yelling at her how she shouldn't be getting cozy with the writer, shouldn't let her guard down so completely like she'd done about a year earlier when he'd broken her heart by leaving for a summer with his ex-wife. Though, that hadn't been totally his fault considering she had been with Demming. Right there, sitting so close to him, she really couldn't think of a better way to spend her vacation. And that thought frightened her, made her insides tell her to run, but she didn't know where to. Especially not when he, a few seconds after her head landed on his shoulder, carefully put his arm around her. Besides, she felt safe with his arm loosely wrapped around her. She couldn't stop but wonder where the hell this trip would take her. Where it would take them.
A/N: Thank you all for your support on the last chapter! Hope you'll enjoy this one too, only one chapter left after this, until next time, xxxx