Now I'd like say that when D3ath got out the conversation was easy, I was able to convince her to stop attacking me and said something along the lines of "we'll bang ok?"

Obviously it didn't go anything like that. So let's have a little flashback to when she got out of the shower.

-30 mins ago-

My head snapped around when I heard the door open and D3ath stepped out. She was back in her previous attire and was currently drying her hair with a purple towel.

"Feeling better?" I asked trying to avoid staring at her, what? Even if she looks different to a normal human she still looked good. Hey don't judge me there are people who think Krogans from mass effect are hot.

She didn't reply except to nod and continue drying her hair.

"Well shall we start negotiations then?" I asked trying to avoid making a joke. Something tells me this girl doesn't have a sense of humour similar to mine.

Looking at me she raised an eyebrow and slowly nodded still drying her hair.

"Good talk so far" I muttered before pointing to the opposite end of my bed "why don't you sit down?"

Doing as I asked she sat cross legged on my bed facing towards me, a look of minor annoyance on her face as she still dried her hair.

"Do... You want some help?" I asked hesitantly.

"You'd help a girl who tried to kill you dry her hair?" She replied stopping what she was doing and looking at me while raising an eye-brow.

"Every girl I've met has tried to kill me, except for the NPC's, Iffy and Compa. So yeah I would" I shrugged reaching under my bed and pulling out a hair dryer.

Now you guys must be curious as to why I have a hair dryer. Plutia has a lot of hair and I offered to dry it for her and she accepted going into her room and coming back with a hair dryer. While it was a fun experience it ended with Plutia falling asleep and I ended up taking her back into her room with Neptune sniggering as I tried to prise Plutia off of me.

Shrugging D3ath shifted so her back was towards me and stiffened slightly as I began drying her hair. I guess I'm not surprised I mean she is in a vulnerable position, not in that way you pervs, so it's pretty normal to be tense.

"So what do I have to offer you so you stop trying to kill me?" I started off as I continued moving the hair dryer up and down her hair. Her hair was surprisingly soft to the touch.

"There is nothing you can offer me. I am your death so I must fulfil my job" D3ath responded in a monotone

"But do you have to kill me now?" I asked catching onto a possible loop hole

"What do you mean?" Her head cocked to the side slightly

"Sure you are my death I'll believe you" I replied shrugging "But do you have to kill me now? Why not wait till I die in a battle or something and take my soul or something then?"

"I..." She trailed off apparently going deep into thought

"Nothing is forcing you to kill me right now is there?"

"No... but..." She murmured deep in thought

"But what?"

"What would I do while I wait for you to finally die?"

"Help me? Laze about and live your life how you want to?"

"But if I helped you surely I would be stopping myself from completing what I must do?"

"If you look at it that way then yes, but if you see it differently then you won't be as much"

"How should I see it?"

"If I die to some puny monster early on in this story, well the readers won't be too happy that the story ends a prematurely because a dogoo got a lucky hit in"

"So?"

"Help me reach the explosive climax of the story, where if I do die then you can reap me and then the readers will be happy. Well unless they wanted a happy ending but if they have read Shadow of Ash then they should know my stories could suddenly go dark"

Another awkward pause arouse between us as I finished up drying her hair. I'm pretty sure I can hear Noire groaning from all the 4th wall breaking. Hope the migraine doesn't hurt too much.

"Readers?" She asked turning and looking at me while cocking an eyebrow

"The ones reading this Fanfiction right now" I shrugged.

"This... Fanfiction?" She asked again looking even more confused

"Yeah wave to them" I replied with a grin. Oh using the 4th wall to mess with people is way too much fun.

"No" D3ath flatly responded

"Boo" I rolled my eyes "So do we have a deal? You don't try and kill me?"

"Fine we have a deal" D3ath let a small smile slip onto her face before becoming deadly serious again "But do not tell anyone about what transpired between us"

"You mean the masoc-" I started before she clamped a hand over my mouth, her cheeks tinged with the familiar grey.

"Yes. That" She replied slowly "Deal?"

Deciding it was best to avoid pushing my luck I nodded my head and she sat back and breathed a sigh of relief before the darkness around my room suddenly disappeared.

"I shall return to the room the girls had me in before, next time they through they should employ guards who can stay awake through the night and ones who can lock a door" She shrugged before silently leaving through the door without a look back.

"Well... that was a thing" I breathed a sigh of relief flumped back onto my bed and quickly fell asleep again.

-three hours later-

"Come on cutie you need to wake up~" A voice purred in my ear, but of course I was still about ninety per cent asleep so I couldn't make out the speaker

"No thanks..." I managed to mumble "Five more minutes?"

"Nope~" The voice replied, popping the 'p' "You owe me remember? So today you're all mine"

"I owe you?" I mumbled trying to get my brain to finish its morning cup of tea "I don't owe anyone anything... Wait... I don't owe Neptune..."

"Cute as she may be I'm not Neptune" The voice giggled

"I don't owe Noire anything..." I mumbled my brain slowly beginning to process the information while my eyes began working.

"I'm definitely not Noire" The voice giggled again, sounding a little louder like they were speaking in my ear "Try again~"

"I definitely don't owe Blanc or Vert anything... so you must be..." I had barely finished that sentence before alarm bells began ringing as my brain made the connection. Seductive and sexy voice? Pushy and forward? Cute and sexy?

My eyes snapped open to see Iris Heart sitting just below my chest while she had her hands pinned either side of my head, she wore a simply black and white dress with a Iris coloured rose on the side of her hair. A large grin was plastered on her face as she could see I was fully awake now.

"Its me" She licked her lips while continuing her predatory stare and grin.

"Yeah I guessed" I tried to sound confident but failed miserably.

"So sweetheart are you ready to pay me back?" She purred running a finger along my cheek softly, it was like she was leaving a trail of fire along it.

"O Of course" I stammered as she drew closer, my eyes could tear themselves away from hers.

"Excellent" She replied with a similar purr before kissing me quickly, the usual heat barely having time to rise (Take that as you will) before she broke it off and climbed off. "What do you think?"

Giving a quick twirl the skirt part of the dress rose slightly revealing black, knee high stocking running down to black heels to go with her dress.

"You look really good" I replied smiling feeling my brain drop down from Defcon 5 to Defcon 3

"Stop it you'll make me blush~" Iris giggled before opening the front door "I'll see you in the reception area handsome, don't keep me waiting too long and dress in that sexy suit of yours!"

With that she swept out of my room within seconds, a tornado of love, fire and domination.

"Best move faster killer, don't want her to be upset about taking too long" The Author whispered kicking my brain into overdrive.

Rolling out of bed I jumped into the shower quickly scrubbing any dirt off my body before rushing over to the suit that was hanging off the side of my wardrobe, a note on it reading "Looking good handsome~" followed by a purple kiss telling me Iris had been there, and began getting changed into it quickly.

"I really hope Iris is a switch" I muttered pulling the shirt on.

"Why's that?" The Author asked

"Because if she is then I can counter some of her pushiness and make her be the one blushing" I replied, buttoning it up.

"If not?"

"Then I'm probably going to have a permanent blush on my face all day"

After finishing getting changed I straightened the collar on the suit before opening the door.

"Ah Thomas I was jus-" IF spoke up from my right before I raised a hand sharply to stop her.

"Whatever it is it'll have to wait" I replied not looking at her, instead into the distance at the trees and mountains on the horizon.

"What? Why?" IF asked confused and slightly annoyed

"I have a date with Iris Heart and it is going to last all day" I managed to say aloud, already feeling my face warm up slightly.

"Good luck" IF barely whispered

Turning sharply to her I nodded before making my way towards the elevator shaft, like a soldier walking his final few steps before he sacrifices himself for the good of the team... I've been playing too many video games.

Entering the elevator I turned and looked back at IF as the door closed and gave her a short salute before the doors closed,

"Do you really think its gonna end that badly?" The Author asked

"Probably, if it doesn't end with a fight it'll probably be me threatening someone to back off" I shrugged

"So why do you sound so carefree about it?"

"Well beside me being able to create any weapon I want just by putting my mind to it I am going to be with Iris Heart" I rolled my eyes "So I'm pretty sure I am safe"

"Point taken"

Before I could follow up with some sass however the doors opened and after taking a deep breath stepped out into the reception area.

"Well you certainly didn't take your time" Iris purred snaking her arm around my own.

"When you have a date with a very important goddess you don't want her standing on ceremony" I grinned already going into smooth operator mode.

"Oh you spoil me~" Iris giggled before pulling my arm towards her chest before leading me outside "Now this very important goddess wishes to begin the date"

First place we went to was a clothing shop (Surprise surprise) but this time it was for Iris, she said she needed more clothes but I sincerely doubted that as the clothes she chose got slowly more and more revealing until I was forced to drag her out of the shop with my face burning up from embarrassment. Why am I telling you like this? Because we are heading to a café and this is where I would take my revenge.

"Oh they look so tasty~" Iris smiled, bending over slightly to look at a row of brightly coloured cupcakes.

"Not as tasty as you though" I grinned, she had presented a perfect opportunity to start my revenge spree.

Iris looked over at me with a grin, batting her eyes at me, before returning her attention at the cupcakes.

"Damn guess I'll need to push this to the next level" I growled under my breath as I sat in a nearby booth.

Looking around in a half desperate bid to find something that could help me tease her, my attention settled on the woman behind the counter; something about them just did not seem right, like they were out of place and they knew it. They shifted about the place and looked exceedingly nervous.

But before I could stand up and make a point of it Iris suddenly stepped in front of them blocking my view of them, soon after she turned and started towards me holding a cupcake.

"I thought we could share this" Iris grinned placing the bright purple cupcake on the table "It'll be an indirect kiss every time we do it~"

"You're so childish sometimes" I chuckled pushing the thoughts of the woman out of my mind.

With her usual grin she took a small bite out of the cupcake, closing her eyes in appreciation.

"Hey Iris?" I saw another chance of revenge on her lips. I'll let you all guess what is going to happen next.

"Yes cutie?" She looked up curiously when I reached forward and wiped a piece of icing that had gotten on the side of her lips off and stuck the finger in my mouth.

"You missed a bit sweetheart" I winked at her as her eyes widened slightly before they narrowed as her usual predatory grin took over.

"So that is how you want to play it huh~?" She purred winking at me.

"Can't let you have all the fun" I tried to sound confident to hide the fear welling up inside me, because I may have just triggered her dominant side.

Before I could take the cupcake and take a bite out of it she pulled it away, apparently she had a devious plan in mind.

"Say ah~" She cooed, breaking off a bit of the cupcake off and holding it out to me.

"Really?"

"Yup, you can do this to me afterwards"

Rolling my eyes I did as she asked and she smirked as she placed the cupcake in my mouth. The icing was smooth and brought a whole array of flavours to my mind as the chocolate base followed up with a rich and also smooth texture.

"Is it good?" she asked sweetly

"Yeah it's quite good" I replied before taking the cupcake "Your turn, say ah"

"Aaah~" She replied, opening her mouth and half closing her eyes.

Trying to keep any perverted thoughts from entering my mind, (I know at least one of you will be thinking those thoughts) I broke off a piece of the cupcake and rested it on her tongue but before I could remove my fingers fully her lips clamped around it and she held me hand so I couldn't pull it away as she... ahem... licked the crumbs off my fingers.

"Now Iris my dear I am not a cupcake" I managed to keep my voice level despite the vast array of emotions going through me.

"But you're sweet like one and I bet you could really fill me up~" She purred

"Ok now I know you are trying to make this an M-rated story" I rolled my eyes trying to avoid twitching my finger. That's when I noticed that the woman had suddenly disappeared, then something felt wrong.

Looking at Iris as she started reaching for the cupcake I knocked it across the room where it hit the wall with a thud.

"What the-" She started but after that point I missed the rest as my body failed me and I collapsed, hitting the floor hard. From the way she had suddenly became rigid tells me it had just hit her as well.

Looking around I heard a pair of heels clicking against the floor until a pair of black boots came into my field of view and an evil laugh belonging to what sounds like a very old lady.

"Looks like even the CPU's from another realm can't resist a simple cupcake" She cackled before my eyes refused to stay open anymore.

This casual date went from a very happy and nice thing with only a "little" sexual tension to suddenly kidnappings by an old lady. Hooray! Here comes the next cliff-hanger while the author tries to avoid making this go extremely dark. Wish him luck.