A/N: DragFire, military otaku's RULE!
CHAPTER 10: PRIVATE INTERESTS
"Are you serious?" Shinji asked Kensuke one day at school? "And just what is this 'future replacement for the Evangelion'?"
"Well," Kensuke said pushing his glasses up his nose. "I first heard about it from my dad. He said there was a lot of talk going around about some super robot being built in Old Tokyo. With that in hand I began surfing the internet looking for more information."
"So what did you find, Scooby Doo?" Shinji asked as Kensuke flipped his laptop around so Toji and Shinji could see.
"Please, don't call me that," Kensuke complained.
"Would you prefer if he called you 'Thelma'?" Toji shot back with a grin. Kensuke responded by giving him the one finger salute. Shinji took a look at the screen. It showed a Wall Street Journal website, translated into Japanese, featuring a front page article titled "Jet Alone: Humanity's New Secret Weapon?" It even featured a flashy computer generated image of said robot. "That thing looks ridiculous," Toji said. "Like something out of one of those old sci-fi movies from the nineteen-sixties or seventies."
"No kidding," Shinji nodded. "That oversized windup toy looks extremely clumsy. It might be able to take out an armored division, and maybe, a big maybe, hold its own against a carrier strike wing; but against an EVA or even an angel I'd doubt it'd do anything other than slow it down." He then looked out the window at the remains of the previous angel, which the crews were still trying to remove even after a week of 24-hour work. "That last one nearly did me in. That bucket of bolts would've been mere target practice."
At that moment Shinji heard squealing tires and the loud revving of an engine. 'Here it comes,' Shinji said as he ran his hand through his hair. Over the past few weeks he had let his hair grow to just over his ears and it was starting to annoy him. He was planning on getting it cut down to size since this was the longest he's had his hair in his whole life and he wasn't sure he liked it. He had also just gotten his hands free of the bandages they were in from when he opened Rei's plug. His hands wouldn't scar but they did require some careful bandaging.
Shinji looked down just as Misato hit the brakes and power-slid into a parking spot at the end of the row. 'The hell does she think this is, Fast and the Furious?' At that moment Shinji sensed potential danger behind him.
"YAHOO!" Toji screamed as he and Kensuke nearly knocked Shinji out the damn window as they rushed to the window. "She really came!" At that moment, the object of their focus stepped out of the car. Misato was wearing a yellow sports jacket, purple skirt and high heels. And sure enough, Shinji looked along the other windows of the school and all the guys were practically dangling out the windows trying to catch a glimpse of the babe in the parking lot.
"You mean she's Ikari's guardian?" A boy in their class asked Toji who nodded.
"He gets to have a babe like that as his bodyguard?"
"Heh, Shinji doesn't really need a bodyguard," Kensuke replied. "But he does need a woman's touch around the house."
'Heh, 'woman's touch',' Shinji rolled his eyes at the thought. 'I wonder what these guys would think if they saw how terrible her apartment could get if I didn't keep it clean?' He turned around and sat back down in his chair shaking his head.
"Those idiots," Hikari, their class rep, grumbled along with some other jealous girls.
"I think it's disgusting for them to lust after an older woman," another girl added. Rei just sat there, paying no attention and not really caring.
"Don't judge a book by its cover, girls," Shinji said off-handedly as he slid back into his chair. "And in this case the table of contents isn't too promising from my viewpoint."
"YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!" Toji and Kensuke surprised Shinji by speaking in complete synch.
'Did they practice this shit?'
"YOU CAN HANDLE KEEPING THE EARTH SAFE. AND THE TWO OF US WILL TAKE CARE OF MISATO!" They wound up to slap him on the back.
"Eh, herm," Shinji coughed. "Anyone for Round Two?" That got them to withdraw their hands. Other guys within ear shot choked on that as well.
The beating Shinji had given Toji a while back had spread through the school like a wild fire. On one hand it kept the typical school yard bullies away from him and got him respect from the other guys in his class. But, on the other hand, it only served to make the girls more ape shit about him. And when word spread of him being a Wolverine, which Kensuke helped to spread more than anything else, it only got worse. That otaku was one nosy little geek. All it took was one simple question he asked Shinji, "Where did you go to school before this?" When Shinji gave the curt reply of "Philadelphia" Kensuke began to dig.
After getting home the otaku began an internet search for 'Philadelphia' and 'Shinji Ikari'. At first all he got was just a quick registry of Philadelphia area high school students. This confirmed that Shinji had gone to school there. But then he had to ask himself 'what happened when the Russians invaded'. It took him almost all night but he eventually found a video posting on a social network site where someone had made a slideshow music video to the Saliva song Pride and used footage from the Russian invasion.
Among the pictures were grainy photos of 'Wolverine' resistance fighters. Most were poorly shot and little detail could be made out of the individual 'Wolverines'. But, then, as Josey Scott said "…it's an eye for an eye…" Kensuke nearly had a heart attack and quickly paused the video. There, in fairly good lighting, thanks to same fires, was Shinji. In his right arm he was cradling a Kalashnikov assault rifle while his left hand was giving the photographer a thumbs up He was kneeling next to a standing US Army soldier who was similarly giving a thumbs up as his M4 was held in the other hand, barrel pointed skyward. "Holy shit, batman," was all Kensuke could say.
This probably wouldn't have turned into a big if the next day Kensuke wasn't approached by a cute girl. As she batted her eyelashes she asked, very sweetly, "Do you know anything about Shinji?" And just like that, the sucker fell victim to his 'Y' chromosome. The rest, as they say, is history.
Every morning Shinji would find no less than twelve new e-mails on his computer from girls. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to theorize about their contents and a few did have 'attachments'. Again, just put two and two together. He just hoped he didn't pick up a few stalkers. 'Eh, Section 2 might be able to take care of that,' Shinji said. 'If any are still tailing me that is…' He then recalled the ass-kicking he delivered to the pair of agents a couple weeks prior. 'Shit. Law of Unintended Consequences is a bitch. Or is that 'karma'?' The only upside was that Shinji extorted a 'favor' from Kensuke to pay him back at a later date.
Meanwhile, Commander Ikari was traveling on a virtually vacant stratospheric transport liner en-route to a conference on the other side of the world. Also on board was one of his collaborators inside the United Nations, an 'attaché' from China. "All the permanent members of the Security Council," the attaché said to Ikari, "except the United States, have approved the budget for Unit-06. It's only a matter of time before they approve it as well." The attaché chuckled at his upcoming attempt at humor. "The Americans seem to be allergic to unemployment." If only he knew the real reason the US of A was delaying. "That and their pitiful state of affairs is still causing them enough headaches to keep them busy for a while. They may have 'won' the 70-Day War against Russia, but they were still wounded."
"And your country?" Ikari asked.
"We'll begin with the construction of Unit-08…"
XXXXX
As Shinji and his friend, turned devout worshipper of his culinary skills, Pen-Pen were having breakfast he couldn't help but wonder how NERV was officially going to handle the Jet Alone situation. His train of thought was interrupted when Misato came into the kitchen. Now, normally she'd half-stumble in wearing her skimpy pajamas. Plop down at the table, pop open a beer and chug it down in a way that would make any college frat guy jealous. This time caught both him and the waterfowl off guard.
Misato was dressed up in an immaculate black dress uniform complete with stockings and dress shoes. "Hrr?" Shinji grunted in confusion. The fish Pen-Pen was about to eat simply dropped to the floor as his beak dropped at the sight.
"Good morning," Misato said, not showing a slight hint of being hung-over.
"Morning," Shinji replied. "Did you hit your head on something? Or am I talking to Misato's evil twin?"
"Oh, shut up," Misato snapped as she marched past. "I'm going to Old Tokyo to attend a conference," she said making for the door and slipping on some dress shoes. "I'll probably be getting back late so just fix yourselves something for dinner. Bye!"
"Uh, bye," Shinji said to her back. He then looked down at Pen-Pen who was still in shock at what he had seen. "That was unexpected."
"Wark!" Pen-Pen chirped in agreement.
XXXXX
Shinji was relaxing at home listening to some Rock'n'Roll on his I-Pod Omega. He had finally broken down and spent some of the hard earned combat pay that NERV gave him. It was a weekend so he had the day off from school. He was rocking to some Twisted Sister when Pen-Pen nudged him. "What's up?" He asked the bird.
"Wark!" He warbled pointing towards the door. At that moment the door bell sounded.
"Ah!" Shinji said standing up. As he approached the door he felt a very familiar presence. "Who is it?" He asked through the speaker. He then felt something in the back of his head telling him that it was a certain blue haired girl.
"It's me," he heard Rei's soft voice through the device.
'That's odd,' Shinji said to himself. Shrugging it off, he opened the door and allowed Rei to come inside. "What brings you over, Rei?" Shinji asked as they sat down at the table. He then poured her some water.
"I find your presence…comforting," Rei said. Shinji nodded as Pen-Pen walked up to the albino girl.
"Urr?" He tilted his head in curiosity at this new person. Rei looked down at him in confusion as well.
"That's Misato's bundle of joy, Pen-Pen," Shinji said grinning. Rei leaned over, picked up the bird and sat him in her lap.
"Wark!" Pen-Pen chirped happily.
"He seems to like you."
"He is…fascinating," Rei said. "But isn't this climate too warm for a penguin?"
"Urk," Pen-Pen just looked right back at her in curiosity.
"Misato said he was the result of a genetic experiment at the lab she worked at before joining NERV," Shinji explained. "When she heard they were planning on euthanizing him she took him in as her pet instead." He then rubbed the birds head from over the table. "And now we've got a pretty smart bird to keep us entertained." Rei nodded and rubbed Pen-Pen's head in the same manner Shinji just did much to the pleasure of the bird. "So," Shinji said changing the subject. "Anything new?"
"Dr. Akagi has canceled my medical prescription," Rei said.
'So she took my suggestion.' "Really? How are you feeling?"
"I've been feeling…uneasy," Rei explained. "And I've been having some minor headaches."
'You're also talking more openly.' "You're probably just going through some withdrawal from the drugs," Shinji said. "You were taking them your whole life, right?" She nodded. "So your body isn't used to all those chemicals suddenly being absent."
"That is a logical assumption," Rei said turning her attention back to Pen-Pen. The bird seemed very content sitting in the blue haired girl's lap.
A few minutes later the phone rang and Shinji picked it up in the other room. Rei and Pen-Pen were startled when Shinji blurted out, "Jet Alone's gone WHAT!"
Shinji rushed to NERV with Rei in tow. He dashed down to the locker room and broke a speed record in donning his plugsuit. When he exited he nearly ran over Makoto. Together they double-timed up to the airstrip where the EVA carryall was already loaded up with Unit-01. "Jet Alone is heading directly for Atsugi," Makoto briefed Shinji as they loaded up. "Not only is it not responding to abort commands from its control center but its reactor is overheating."
"What does that mean for Atsugi?" Shinji asked as the doors closed.
"It'll explode with the force of ten megatons."
"Just great!" Shinji snapped. "The US Navy has fighter squadrons in Atsugi," Shinji said. "I'm pretty sure they'd be more than happy to scramble a couple of F35's of F/A-18's and blow the bastard sky high if we told them there was a walking nuclear bomb running straight at them." They were now at the airstrip and they dashed out to the waiting transport.
"Except there's the danger of radioactive debris," Makoto argued as the engines warmed up. "And there are still hundreds, maybe thousands, of people living in the nearby hills."
"Great," Shinji shook his head. "Only two words come to mind in this situation: 'epic' and 'failure'!"
"Not if we've got anything to say about it," Makoto grinned before taking off.
"Hooyah!"
Down on the tarmac a pair of red eyes watched the massive flying wing aircraft depart. 'Be safe, Shinji,' Rei said to herself as it disappeared into the clouds.
XXXXX
"And you call me a cowboy!" Shinji snapped when Misato told him her plan as they closed in on Jet Alone.
"Okay," Misato smiled. "I guess I've got to give you that one."
"Seriously though, Misato, this is more up my alley as far as ballsy-fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants-and-do-something-fucking-stupid moves go. Go by M.O. alone one would think I should be doing this."
"And just who else would pilot the EVA?" Misato asked him.
"Rei would do it." Misato just shook her head.
"You're not that cold, Shinji," Misato said. "Besides. I know more about computers than you do."
'Doubt that.'
"Plus, my conscience won't allow me to do anything else." She then looked into his blue eyes. "Isn't that what makes you do stupid things?"
"Okay," Shinji shrugged. "I'll give you that one." Misato smiled and chuckled at their agreement.
"Target's in sight, ma'am," Makoto announced from the cockpit.
"Get in as close as you can," Misato ordered. "When we're down take the aircraft up to a safe altitude."
"Roger." Shinji stood up at that and held his hand out to Misato.
"Alright then," he said as he helped her stand up. "Let's go do something stupid." And with that he entered the entry plug.
Unit-01 was dropped from about one thousand feet and came to a fairly gentle landing on its feet. Once the shock of the landing had passed Shinji took off in a mad run for Jet Alone carefully cradling Misato in the unit's right hand. "Just hang on, Misato," Shinji said as they got nearer and nearer. "Almost there!"
"We've got less than four minutes!" She announced. "Get me up there!" Shinji reached out and grabbed the back of the rampaging robot.
"Here you go!" He deposited Misato right next to the access hatch. As the robot tried to get away she lost her balance and nearly fell off but Shinji kept her from falling. "Be careful, you klutz!" Misato just smiled and flashed him the 'V' for victory sign. She opened the hatch and slid down inside. "And now you bastard," he said looking up at the robot. "You hold still!" He then flipped around in front of it, grasped it by the shoulders and held it in place. "Hurry it up in there, Misato!"
As the clock ticked down Shinji kept the robot in place and as still as possible for Misato. But as it neared closer and closer to explosion Shinji started to get a bad feeling. 'There's no way it would take Misato this long to punch in the abort code,' he realized. 'Something else must be going on.' "MISATO!" Just as he was on the verge of ripping into the robot and yanking out the overheating reactor himself the robot stopped trying to move. "Huh?" It then righted itself and the control rods on the back lowered into position. He then got the confirmation from Makoto that Jet Alone had shut down. "Finally!" He cried out. "I hate these climatic moments!" 'But what the hell happened in there?'
Inside the control station in the robot Misato slumped against the wall thinking the exact same thing.
XXXXX
Meanwhile…
"You made good on your end of the deal," Commander Ikari said into his end of the phone. "I must admit I did not expect it to be this successful. I apologize for doubting your abilities…Of course. As I said, you held up your end of the deal so it's only fair that I reciprocate. The funds have already been transferred. And rest assured, they are untraceable…" Commander Ikari had many needs for such off-the-books solutions. And such a solution was used with Jet Alone. The man he was talking to was one of his most reliable 'troubleshooters'. "I don't expect any fall back on NERV. Though we would be the natural suspect for sabotage I have already taken steps to ensure that whatever any investigation digs up NERV will not be implicated. If need be I can have Section 2 allow certain information to reach certain channels that could lead to any number of international terrorist or criminal organizations…Take your pick, GLA, PLR, Orange Dragon Triads, the Al-Asad Front…Once again, you have nothing to worry about. Your participation is not on any documentation…Of course. If I have any more job opportunities for you I will let you know…Dasvidaniya." And with that Ikari hung up the phone.
A/N: And for the next round…! Shinji vs. Asuka!