CHAPTER 11: THE TEUTONIC TORNADO
Shinji was stuck in the cramped passenger cabin of a heavy lift crane helicopter NERV requisitioned from the Russian Federation Air Force with Toji and Kensuke. Kensuke had gone into Otaku-Overdrive mode the moment he set foot on the massive chopper. Toji on the other hand was in la-la-land thinking he was on some kind of date with Misato who was riding shotgun in the co-pilot's seat. Meanwhile, Shinji was a little uncomfortable riding in a Russian helicopter. The last time he was in one wasn't exactly a pleasure trip.
'It's the sightseeing tour from hell,' Shinji, his hair cut back down to a high and tight flattop, had decided only two minutes into the flight. Shinji was only wearing a khaki flight suit, his jacket and sunglasses and listening to his I-Pod. "Misato," Shinji spoke up a half-hour into the flight, pulling his ear phones from his ear as Back in the Saddle by Aerosmith was playing. "How much longer are we going to be trapped in this flying sardine can?"
"Just until we touch down on that cute little boat down there," Misato winked back. Shinji looked out the window and saw the UN Pacific Fleet below.
'Oh great. If Kensuke was in overdrive before he's going to break the speedometer when we land.' And he was right. Kensuke went ape shit the moment the doors opened.
"Cool! Cool! Cool! Cool!" Kensuke cried out as he jumped off the chopper and onto the flight deck of the super carrier. "F/A-18 Hornets! Ka-29 helicopters! EA-6B Prowlers! E-2 Hawkeyes! OH MY GOD! I'M IN HEAVEN!"
'Take it down a notch,' Shinji said as he raced ahead to keep him from hurting himself. "DOWN BOY! DOWN! HEEL!"
"AH! MY HAT!" Toji screamed as his cap was blown off his head in the wind. "COME BACK!" He chased after it as Misato followed keeping one hand on her beret and the other on her jacket. Toji finally caught up with it, only to find it crushed beneath a red shoe. "HEY!"
"Kensuke!" Shinji shouted at his friend as he dragged him away from a group of red shirts working on some dangerous looking ordnance. "Get back over here."
"Aw, come on, man!" His spectacled friend complained.
"Well, hallo, Misato," he heard an accented voice greet the Major. "How have you been?"
"Just fine," Misato said in reply. "Gosh you've grown some, haven't you!"
"Yup. And I'm not just taller," the girl replied. At her feet, Toji was still trying to pull his hat free. "My figure has filled out as well."
"Dude," Shinji let go of Kensuke once he had him back with the group. He ordered with a firm gesture of his hand, "Control yourself, grasshopper."
"Let me introduce you," Misato said to the group. "This is the pilot of Evangelion Unit-02, the Second Child: Asuka Langley Soryu." The girl was about Shinji's height, had an athletic build, long strawberry blonde hair, baby blue eyes and was wearing a yellow sundress with blue choker collar and red dress sandals.
'Kind of the wrong attire to be wearing on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier,' Shinji said to himself. As if to illustrate his point the wind kicked up and blew her dress up. "Whoops," Shinji said taking the moment to look down at his watch.
His attention was brought back when he heard a loud slap accompanied by swearing in German, "Perverse idiot!"
Followed by an, "OW!" from Toji. "What the hell did you do that for!" The jock screamed at the girl.
"That was the viewing fee," Asuka replied angrily. "Quite a bargain, nicht?"
"It's overpriced," Toji replied.
"Don't do it," Shinji warned knowing what the jock was about to do next.
"Here's your change!"
"Fuck," Shinji dropped the F-bomb just as Toji enacted 'Operation: Faux Pas'.
"AH!" Asuka screamed as Shinji slapped his forehead. "Ach! Schmutzig idiot!" He heard an even louder slap from a powerful right hook that sent Toji to the deck. Shinji just shook his head and walked up to the pair. He looked down at the pathetic sight before him.
"That's what happens, dumbass," Shinji scolded him.
"Hey!" Kensuke cheered jumping forward. "I got the pwnage on camera!"
"Awesome!" Shinji smiled before he bent over and grabbed Toji by his arm. "You'd better get him away from her, Kensuke." He said picking Toji up and handing him off. "Before he gets himself killed."
"She's just lucky I don't hit girls," Toji mumbled as he was led back to Misato's side by the otaku.
'I'm sure she is, Mr. Punching Bag.'
"So, Misato," Asuka said stepping past Shinji in confidence. "Which one of these dorks is the famous Third Child?" She looked over at Toji and said, "Ach, nein."
"Don't worry, Asuka," Misato chuckled. "It's him," she motioned to Shinji. "Shinji Ikari." Asuka turned and looked him over with an examining eye.
"Hmm," her eyes squinted. "So you're the mighty Third Child? Not much to look at."
"Keep staring," Shinji said looking over the rim of his shades. "I might do a trick."
"Heh," Asuka chuckled. "I've heard a lot about you, Third Child."
"Oh? Like what?" Shinji said folding his arms.
'This ought to be good,' Toji thought. 'Those two going head to head?'
"I heard you were raised in Amerika." Shinji didn't really like the way she said 'Amerika'.
"What of it?" Shinji asked with detectable frustration.
"Other than they're a bunch of backwater, perverted, rednecks? Renegades who are too independent for their own good? No. Nothing. But it did come as no surprise when they said you were a cowboy."
"You'd do well to be careful what you say about my country," Shinji replied. "I tend to get a little frisky when people talk shit about it. But, then again, I heard that you were a bit of a whirlwind yourself," Shinji retorted getting a growl in response. 'That struck a nerve.' "But from what I've seen I'd say 'dominatrix' would be a more fitting title."
"Ooh," Toji chuckled. "Burn."
"Schweinhund!" Asuka snarled. Shinji didn't need to see her hand cock back to know he was in for a bitch slap.
"Before you slap me, Asuka," Shinji said standing perfectly still. "You should ask Toji about my policy regarding physical violence." Asuka looked over at said person for an answer.
"He'll let the first one land for free," Toji smiled folding his arms. "Normally, I'd advise against trying to take that second shot. But in your case: I say go for it!"
'So he wants me to kick her ass, huh?'
"First one for free, eh?" Asuka looked back at Shinji as Kensuke tip-toed into a position to record the event from a safe distance.
"As long as it's nothing below the waist, you have my word," Shinji promised. SLAP! She ran her hand across his face with such force that it knocked his sunglasses off.
"Oh, SHIT!" Kensuke swore when he saw Shinji stumble. "Now that one had some power behind it!"
"Ah!" Shinji exhaled in pain. "Well," he said picking up his aviators from the deck. "I've got to give you an 'A' for passion." He replaced them and held his hand out in greeting. "Truce?" She just grunted and turned away. 'Yeah. She's a bitch.'
XXXXX
The Rainbow, formerly the USS Enterprise of the US Navy, was the flagship of the UN Pacific Fleet, having been turned over to them in 2015. The world's first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was, according to some, past her prime. In fact, when it was turned over to the UN she was obsolete compared to later the upgraded Nimitz-class, and especially the newer Gerald Ford and Queen Elizabeth-class carriers. The UN spent considerable time and money upgrading her with modern technology, not an easy feat for a warship nearly a quarter-mile in length that displaced more than 94,000 tons and built before the Vietnam War.
Shinji noticed other ships in the UN Fleet: Kirov-class battle cruisers, Perry-class frigates, Udaloy, Kidd and Type 052 class destroyers, Tarantul-class Corvettes, and even the Admiral Kuznetsov aircraft carrier. During the 70 Day War that ship caused serious headaches for the US Sixth Fleet in the Mediterranean. Her aircraft even sank the command ship USS Mount Whitney. Now it was augmented to the UN Fleet as a 'goodwill gesture'.
The British admiral in charge of the UN fleet wasn't the least bit impressed by either Misato or NERV's authority over the Evangelion they were escorting. "You must be the leader of this little school trip, Major Katsuragi," the admiral said with audible annoyance when they stepped onto the bridge.
"Yes, sir," Misato replied, ignoring the jab that was thrown at her. This only served to upset the admiral even more. "I'm here to oversee the transfer of Evangelion Unit-02 from your charge to NERV. I also brought instructions for connecting the EVA umbilical cable to your reactor system."
"Hmph," the admiral grunted. "I don't see why you bothered. No way am I going to authorize that oversized toy to deploy while I am in charge."
"Call it being prepared," Misato grinned as she handed the instructions off to the engineering officer. "I. no engineer, but I've been told that the modifications are relatively simple and require little to no alteration to your ship."
"I suppose beggars can't be choosers, then."
Shinji just chilled behind the entourage and kept an eye on Kensuke to make sure he didn't wander off and do something that would end with him getting locked in the brig. Plus, carriers were big fucking ships and it would be too easy to get lost on one. Misato handed over the specifications for retrofitting the power cable they brought with them to the ships reactor. Of course the admiral was reluctant to transfer anything though he did allow the cable to be hooked up to the reactor system.
Shinji could understand. Ship commanders were used to running tight, regimented ships. Everyone had to work as a team with every specific task for one specific goal: making sure the ship was ready to fight. If one cog of that military machine broke down the whole ship would be in jeopardy; that could range from as little as twenty seamen on the smallest mine sweeper to nearly six thousand on board this very carrier.
"Well," a smooth voice announced from the sidelines. "You're just as confident as always."
"KAJI!" Asuka squealed in delight at the newcomer convincing Shinji that she had the ability to make dogs go deaf. The person identified as 'Kaji' smiled and waved from the hatchway not five yards away. He was wearing a white button up shirt and tie with the top button undone and the tie loosely around his neck.
"Mr. Ryoji!" The admiral barked as Misato looked like she had a sudden onset of sea sickness. "I must insist that you stop inviting yourself onto the bridge!"
"Oh!" Kaji smiled again. "Sorry about that, admiral." Misato then gathered the teenagers and made a quick exit from the bridge.
"What are you doing here!" Misato demanded to know as they rode the overcrowded elevator down to the galley.
"Accompanying her," Kaji said slyly. "I'm on a business trip of sorts." Shinji didn't need any sixth sense to tell that Asuka was infatuated with Kaji Ryoji.
"Such a tender reunion," Shinji commented offhanded, barely containing his giggles. "Makes me all warm and fuzzy."
"Shut up, Shinji!" The Major snapped before grumbling. "I can't believe it. I should've expected this."
"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE TOUCHING!"Both Asuka and Misato screamed at Toji and Kaji respectively.
"I CAN'T HELP IT!"Said male passengers responded.
'Jesus! Is everybody in this organization trained to speak in harmony with each other?' Shinji wondered as he was squeezed between Misato's chest and Kaji's knee.
Down in the galley, as Shinji munched on some beef stroganoff Kaji kept teasing Misato about her love life. Of course when Misato avoided the topic and sent barbs his way Kaji would coolly feign hurt. "Hey, Kensuke," Shinji whispered. "What's more entertaining? Watching me and Asuka butt heads or these two?" Kensuke chuckled in reply.
"So," Kaji said looking over at Shinji. "I understand that you're living with ol' Katsuragi here?"
"Yeah," Shinji nodded. He noted the tension rising in Misato as the conversation developed. 'This might be fun.'
"Tell me," Kaji grinned. "Is she still so…wild in bed?" At that everyone-else at the table save for Shinji recoiled in horror. It took everything he had to keep from losing it when Misato counter-attacked.
"Just what are you implying by that!" She screamed in his face. Her skin had changed to match the color of a raspberry. Kaji kept his cool through the whole thing, along with the smirk.
"No, she hasn't changed at all. Has she Shinji?" Misato looked at him with a distraught look on her face.
'Please don't encourage him, Shinji,' Misato whimpered inwardly. 'Please?'
"Doesn't look that way," Shinji said going along with it. "Why just the other night I caught her jumping around the apartment wearing her underwear, a cowboy hat, army boots and screaming at the top of her lungs like a wild Indian." Everyone, save for Kaji, recoiled at the bald, faced lie.
"SHE DID WHAT!" Kensuke and Toji screamed at him. Shinji kept his cool much like Kaji.
"Oh yeah," Shinji nodded in a picture perfect imitation of Kaji. Misato was shivering with rage at her end of the table. "Her favorite thing to do, however," he heard Misato's nails scratch the table as her hands abled into fists, "is to down a couple beers, change into her PJs, grab the karaoke microphone and sing along to…"
"NOT ANOTHER WORD, MISTER!" Misato snapped at Shinji before he could spill the beans. "AND AS FOR YOU!" She turned to Kaji. "WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET OFF PULLING THIS SHIT!"
"I have a feeling you and I are going to get along just swimmingly, Mister Shinji Ikari," Kaji smiled at the kid at the other end of the table.
"Seems so," Shinji nodded. "What exactly have you heard about me?"
"Quite a lot, actually. You're pretty famous in the defense business you know," Kaji explained as Misato depressingly slumped back into her seat. "The famous Third Child, who piloted an EVA in his first battle with no training. And, rumor has it, out of a noble desire to protect a girl you didn't even know."
"They're a little generous," Shinji waved it off. "I got lucky."
"Luck or not, it's part of your destiny! It's your talent!" Kaji said encouragingly; when he said that Shinji felt a definite aura of envy coming from the Second Child. "Well," Kaji said standing up. "I'll see you later."
"Yeah, later gator," Shinji waved him off. Asuka was right on his heels.
"It's a bad joke…a bad dream…" Misato was cowering under her hands in her chair. "No…it's a nightmare." Shinji couldn't help but finally let out a chuckle.
"There, there, Misato," he teased her. "I won't let the mean old Mr. Kaji hurt you."
"Shut up, you asshole!" Misato reeled at him. "You didn't help any, you know!"
"I was just having some fun!" Shinji laughed.
"Oh, just leave me alone!" Misato slouched in her chair. As Shinji got up to use the head he suddenly felt a feeling of dread wash over the room. He looked around but they were the only ones there.
'What the hell is going on?' He asked himself. 'I've got a feeling the shit is going to hit the fan soon.'
On the fantail of the ship Asuka was happily dangling on the railing as Kaji was taking in the sea breeze. "So?" He asked her. "What do you think about Shinji Ikari?"
"Oh? The 'famous Third Child'?" She quoted his earlier words. "Er ist ein Arschloch. I'm pretty sure he's even worse once you get to know him."
"But, you've got to admit," Kaji replied. "It takes one hell of a kid to have a synch ratio of nearly 50% in combat with no prior training."
"MEIN GOTT!" Asuka was surprised to hear that.
A/N: Just an FYI, I wrote this and more prior to MW3's release. But, I've come up with how to incorporate MW3 events into the back-story (I think). More on that later though.
F-14 Tomcat Lover: in this story Misato is a Major.
P.S.: Go Navy! Beat Army!