Doom357: Captain Bardiel, as soon as I read your review I began to picture Misato singing karaoke to Old Time Rock and Roll…and laughed my ASS off! Now I'm going to picture that every time I hear the song. Props, I give to ye.

Drew Carey: And, I'll give him a thousand points!

Doom357: Drew, what the hell are you doing here? This is a fanfiction, we can't have real people in them. So, get lost! The points are worthless anyways.

CHAPTER 12: BATTLE ON THE HIGH SEAS

Later in the cruise, as the group from the helicopter was riding the escalator up to another level Shinji was still giggling over Misato's reaction to Kaji. "That admiral's attitude gets on my nerves," Toji said trying to take Misato's side and win some points.

"He's got a lot of pride," Misato chuckled. "But too much of it is bound to make him cynical."

"Not to mention arrogant," Shinji agreed. "On the other hand," Shinji decided to throw in one last barb. "That Kaji seems like a pretty interesting guy. Don't you agree?"

"He hasn't changed at all!" Misato snapped angrily. It was too much fun to see Misato get worked up like this. "That chauvinistic pig!" At that moment Shinji felt like a dark envious raincloud had descended upon him.

"Hey, Third Child!" The banshee shriek from the top of the escalator confirmed his suspicions.

'Yup,' he nodded to himself. 'It's Beelzebub.' He looked up at the source. "What's up?" Shinji asked. Sure enough, she was standing in a defiant pose at the top.

"You're coming with me," Asuka said as if ordering him around.

"Trying to whip me already?" Shinji asked as he stepped off. "Usually that only happens after marriage."

"Shut up, you dumbkopf!" Asuka snapped. "I just want to show you what a real Evangelion looks like."

"By all means," he motioned to the door. "Lead the way." She led the way alright.

"Watch your back, Shinji!" Toji called out to him.

"No worries, punching bag!" Shinji waved back. Asuka then led him out to the flight deck where they boarded an Mi-2 'Hoplite' to the cargo freighter Othello.

"So," Asuka said accusingly from her seat across from Shinji. "You probably think you're hot shit, right Third Child?"

"What makes you think that?" Shinji asked still looking out the window at the assembled fleet.

"Kaji said it himself, 'Piloted an EVA in combat with no training'. Plus you've got three kills notched into your belt."

"I only count two of those," Shinji replied. "I don't really consider the first one a 'kill'." He looked down at his lap. "Considering, I don't really remember the battle."

"What's that?"

"Like I said, after getting my ass kicked I pretty much just blacked out. It's never happened to me before or since and there's no other way I can describe it." He shrugged. "I get bits and pieces in sporadic and chaotic flashes when I'm sleeping sometimes. But it's never really clear." He then looked over at her. "Kind of like in the Bourne movies. You ever saw those?"

"No," was Asuka's curt reply.

"Well, shit," Shinji said going back to looking out the window. 'There goes my only reference out the window.' "That last angel was a handful and a half. Actually, none of the bastards have gone done easy."

Once on board the freighter she led him onto the main deck and over to the tarp. "Now, get a load of this," Asuka said proudly as she lifted the tarp. Shinji just looked at Unit-02 casually.

"Don't you think hot rod red is a little…flashy?" Shinji asked rhetorically. 'She probably chose the color so she could stand out. She seems the type that loves attention.'

"The color isn't the only thing different about Unit-02," Asuka said climbing down into the hold.

"Uh, huh," Shinji waited for her to get to the bottom. He then mounted the ladder and slid all the way down. Asuka was not impressed. "Let me guess," Shinji said as Asuka led the way over a floating catwalk to the EVA itself. "It comes with a CD/MP3 player, Tom-Tom GPS, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, power steering, AC and cup-holders."

"Unit-00 and Unit-01 were the prototype and test type respectively," Asuka said ignoring his sarcasm. "The fact that Unit-01 synchronized with an untrained pilot like you is proof that it's inferior. However, Unit-02 is a little different."

"Really?" Shinji asked. "And here I thought that something that was easier to synch with would be more effective. But please," he waved in defense. "Shower me with your words of wisdom, Jedi Master." Asuka glared at him before continuing.

"Regardless, Unit-02 was designed specifically for combat. It's the world's first real Evangelion! And since it was designed for combat conditions it's the final production model!"

"If you say so," Shinji said. "But I will say this: you Germans sure know how to build shit."

"That's because we Germans value our engineers on the same level as doctors," Asuka beamed. "And that's why we're able to build the best Evangelions!" Just as Shinji was rolling his eyes at her arrogance an explosion ripped across the ocean and shook the freighter.

"What the fuck!" Shinji cried out as he bolted for the ladder. "Come on, Asuka!" He shouted to her as he started climbing.

"Don't you give me orders, Third Child!" Asuka said reaching the ladder. Looking up she saw him bounding upwards skipping multiple rungs each time. 'Damn, he's fast.'

Topside, both pilots raced to the railing to see a light cruiser in flames and sinking. "Son of a bitch!" Shinji cried out as a guided missile frigate went up in a massive fireball. "It's an angel!" Shinji knew exactly what the cause of the devastation was. There was something very big moving very fast beneath the water, kicking up geysers of water as it went.

"An angel?" Asuka asked him. "You mean a real one?"

"Either that or it's Moby Dick's pissed off big brother!"

That's when Shinji heard Asuka purr in German, "Wunderbar."

'I got a feeling I'm not gonna like this.'

Meanwhile, in his room on the flagship Kaji was watching the devastation from his port hole. "An AT Field can't be penetrated with this kind of firepower," Kaji said to himself. 'All these conventional warships are going to do is slow the angel down, piss it off and get good men killed needlessly.' He picked up his phone and made a call. "You didn't tell me there would be an angel," he told the person on the other end. "This wasn't foreseen, was it?"

"That's why Unit-02 is there," the recipient replied. "And I even provided an extra pilot."
"Yes, your own son, too," Kaji said to Gendo. "How thoughtful of you."

"Worst case scenario," Gendo reminded him. "You can always make your escape."
"Eh, of course I can," Kaji said in disgust. 'But I don't like running like a dog with my tail between my legs.'

"In fact, it's probably for the best that you do. We don't want the angel to get a hold of the package."

XXXXX

'She's been in that stairwell for a long time,' Shinji said to himself. "Hey!" He called out to her stepping inside. "Just what the hell are you-? WHOA!" He recoiled back after getting the briefest glimpse of bare flesh.

"Ach!" She screamed. "Don't peep, you idiot!"

"Sorry!" Shinji apologized.

"Why do all boys have to be such perverted jerks?"

"You didn't exactly tell me why I needed to wait up here!"

"Perverse idiot!"

When she was finally finished Asuka marched back up the stairs. "Damn," Shinji said. "You really like the color red, don't you?"

"Shut up and follow me!" Asuka said as she grabbed him by the jacket.

"Hey!" He shoved her hand off him and followed under his own power. When they arrived back at the hold Shinji had already figured out what she was going to do. "So, you plan on taking on the angel without getting Misato's permission?"

"I'll get her permission after the fact."

"Sounds good to me," Shinji said smiling. "But doesn't that sound like something a stupid cowboy would do?" At that remark Asuka tossed something red in his face. "Uh, what's this?" He asked her.

"Well, put it on!" She snapped. Shinji held it up and then shot her a queer look. "What are you waiting for? Get moving!"

"No fucking way!" Shinji snapped showing her the front side of the plug suit. "I don't think this is my cup size!" He then tossed it to the side like the abomination that it was. "I'll stick with my flight suit and jacket, thank you very much."

"LCL zerfiel in Ionen," Asuka said in German after the plug inserted into the EVA. "Das Einleiten von Computersystemen. Bestätigt."

'So,' Shinji said to himself. 'She prefers using German as the default?' He had himself a little smile. 'I think I'll fuck with her a little.'

"Das Einleiten Nervenverbindung. Bestätigt. Das Einleiten des Herzmonitors. Bestätigt. Synchro start, null!" The entry plug lit up but then cut to red lettering reading 'FEHLER'; 'error' in German.

"Well," Shinji smiled. "I'm impressed."

"It's thought noise!" Asuka snapped. "I told you not to disturb me!"

"Hey, I'm just sitting here, fat, dumb and happy."

"You're thinking in Japanese, aren't you!" She snapped at him. "If you must think do it in German!"

"And what makes you think I know any German beyond bratwürst and strudel?"

"Dumbkopf!" Asuka spat at him. "Never mind! Switch default language to Japanese." And at that the screen went back to normal.

'Heh, heh, heh,' Shinji chuckled to himself.

"Telex from the Othello!" The radio operator cried out to the admiral. "Unit-02 is activating!"

"WHAT!" The admiral blared.

"Woo!" Misato cheered looking out the window. "Alright, Asuka!" On board the freighter the red EVA rose up, partially covered by the tarp as if it were a cloak.

"Abort!" The admiral got on the radio to the Othello. "Stop the EVA activation sequen-!"

"Don't listen to that moron, Asuka!" Misato shouted snatching the device from the older officer. "Go for it!"

"What are you doing?" The admiral growled. "That EVA and its pilot are under my jurisdiction! You're violating my authority!" The two then began to fight over control of the radio.

"Who gives a damn about your procedures!"

"Oh, no!" The Captain of the boat said. "Unit-02 was shipped with the B-type equipment!"

"Who's the genius who decided to ship an EVA over water without equipping it to fight in water!" Shinji screamed over the radio.

"HEY!" Asuka snapped. "Don't scream next to my ear, you jackass!"

"You're doing it, too!"

"Shinji!" Misato beamed. "Are you in there, too?"

"Yes, ma'am. Hi!"

"They're just kids!" The admiral barked.

'If Shinji's in there with Asuka there's no way they'll lose.' "Asuka, take off!"

"There it is!" Shinji pointed it out. "Ten o'clock and hauling ass in our direction!"

"Let's do it," Asuka said confidently. The red EVA jumped off the ship seconds before the angel slammed into it. It then landed just aft of the superstructure of a heavy cruiser. The tarp fell away into the ocean. "Where is it!" Asuka asked.

"Eight o'clock! It's swinging back around." Shinji announced playing the part of lookout. That's when the battery clock appeared. "We've only got a minute of power, Asuka," Shinji said. "We need to get to the carrier where they've got the power cable hooked up."

"Let's play a little hop-scotch." And with that she bounded from ship to ship as the flight deck was cleared off for the EVA. As a joke, the deck crew erected the emergency barricade.

When Unit-02 landed on the carrier Asuka almost caused it to capsize. She also sent over half of the planes on the flight deck into the ocean. "That angel's getting closer!" Shinji warned her.

"Switching to external power," she said as she plugged the umbilical into her EVA.

"Looks like it's going to be a knife fight," Shinji said as Asuka drew out the tanto bladed prog-knife. The angel broke the water and Shinji spotted the skull like object along the top of the monster. "That's a big fucking fish."

"Good," Asuka said. "I'm feeling like sushi." When the angel got near the ship it leapt out of the water and onto the flight deck nearly capsizing the carrier a second time. Asuka dropped the prog-knife and began to wrestle with the angel.

"Watch it," Shinji said noticing how close they were to the edge. "If we fall in the water and we're fish food." As if on cue Unit-02's foot slipped onto an elevator and caused it to buckle. Asuka tried to grab onto the flight deck but only managed to snag one of the few fighters left on deck before both EVA and angel fell into the sea.

"SHIIIIT!" Shinji screamed out loud as the angel bucked and jerked through the ruins of the city under the ocean, trying to dislodge the EVA.

"Quit crying you moron!" Asuka snapped at him. "I'm not letting this bastard get away!"

"Asuka," Misato got on the radio. "It's impossible to fight underwater with the B-type equipment!"

"Well, you don't know until you try!"

"You're crazy!" Shinji snapped at her. "We need a better plan than 'don't let go!'" At that moment the cable ran out of line and jerked the EVA free of the angel which crashed into the ocean floor.

"Verdamnt!" Asuka swore.

Top side Kaji arrived on deck in the back seat of a vintage two seat Yak-38B, "Hey, Katsuragi!" He called out on the radio.

"Kaji!" Misato smiled.

"I'm just going to make a little delivery," he smiled. "So I'll be taking off."

"Huh!" Misato croaked as the VTOL aircraft took off.

"He…he ran away," Toji mumbled.

Inside the cockpit Kaji kicked himself for running like a coward. 'I don't like leaving my friends in the middle of a battle like that.' "I'm so sorry, Misato."

"Aw, shit!" Shinji said when he saw the whale-like angel come back around. "Here comes Moby Dick!"

"This time it dies," Asuka said.

"But…"

"Shut up and watch this, dumbkopf!" She snapped at him. She moved the controls but nothing happened. "Huh?"

"I was going to say that it's B-type equipment!"

"What're we going to do?"

"Oh, so now you want my help?"

"You're the famous Third Child, aren't you? Do something!"

"Like what? Bend the laws of phys…Spread your AT field NOW!" Shinji cried out as the angel opened its mouth.

"TEETH!" Asuka reeled in fear.

"Spread your AT FIELD!" Asuka spread it just as the massive jaws snapped down on them. As they both felt the pressure on their abdomens from the bite Unit-02 was able to move its arms and keep it from closing all the way down on them.

"How…?"

"The AT field can create a small bubble around the EVA allowing us to move. Barely, but still move," Shinji explained. "But that's not going to help us much like this!"

"What's that?" Asuka said pointing further down the mouth. Shinji looked up and saw the familiar red orb.

"That's the S2 core," he said. "The most vulnerable spot on an angel. But we can't reach it."

"So what now?" Shinji began to look around. "Well?"

"Shut the fuck up! I'm thinking!" He was also trying to find any kind of weapon or improvised weapon. He looked at the fighter in Unit-02's right hand. "That plane," Shinji said. Asuka moved the hand and Shinji zoomed in on the ordnance. His mind then flashed back to him dragging Kensuke away from the red shirts on deck. The reason he did so was because they were mounting an N2 missile onto the wing of a fighter. By some miracle it just happened to be this fighter. "Looks like we've got ourselves one badass, improvised hand grenade." He then switched on the radio. "Misato!"
"Shinji!" She came back panicked. "Are you two alright?"

"Oh just fine!" He replied. "We're nice and cozy lodged in this fucker's mouth!"

"What!"

"Listen fast, Misato! We grabbed a fighter on the way down and it's got one live N2 warhead on it. We need the arming code!"

"Got it!"

"That absurd!" The admiral shouted. "I'm not authorized to release those arming codes except with approval from fleet headquarters."

"Misato," Shinji came back on. "Put him on, please." She handed the admiral the headset with a sly grin on her face. "Admiral, with all due respect. If you don't give us those arming codes, when I get out of here, I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN, YOU OLD FART, AND PUT MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR FUCKING ASS THAT I'LL KNOCK OUT YOUR GOD DAMN DENTURES! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!" The admiral recoiled in absolute terror and beaded sweat at the threat.

"As…as I was about…to say…" He replied nervously. "I could…make an exception. Being that this is…an emergency…"

"Thank you, for your assistance, admiral," Shinji replied cheerfully.

"You want to set off an N2 bomb inside this thing!" Asuka asked? "And you called me crazy?"

"You have a better idea?" Shinji asked. "We set it for a thirty second time delay, toss it next to the core and then we push the mouth open and Misato reels us out!"

"You expect me to open this thing all by myself?"

"No," Shinji shook his head. "No I don't." He gave her a look.

"Right," she said. She then flipped out the control sticks for a two handed hold. "I'm going need your help."

"Shinji," Misato came back. "We've armed the missile. Just tell us when and we'll start the clock!"

"On three, Asuka," Shinji said. "One…two…THREE!" Shakily the EVA's arm moved and tossed the improvised N2 grenade down the angel's mouth. "Hit it, Misato!" 'Now I just hope we don't have a premature detonation.' "Let's open this bitch up!" And the two of them began trying to force the angel's mouth open as the clock began to tick down. Slowly, the jaw started to open up.

Both were thinking 'Open. Open. Open. Open.' Using their collective willpower to force the giant angel's mouth open. Gradually, the mouth opened allowing Unit-02 to begin to pull itself free.

"Misato!" Shinji called out. "Get ready on that cable!" They got it open far enough to take the risk with five seconds left. "HIT IT! NOW!"

"Retract cable!" Misato screamed. The umbilical then began reeling in and Unit-02 was ripped from the angel's mouth like a broken fishing line.

"Brace for the shock, Asuka!" Shinji said as they spread the AT field to its max.

A bright flash lit up the ocean from below and a massive column of water shot into the sky as the angel was destroyed. "Shinji…Asuka?" Misato whimpered hoping she didn't lose them both. A shadow passed over the carrier and, like a graceful acrobat, Unit-02 landed on the carrier deck. It then slumped forward and shut down.

XXXXX

As he exited the entry plug, Shinji felt like a drowned rat. His flight suit and jacket were soaked in LCL. "Are you two alright?" Misato asked running out onto deck. "Shinji!" She gasped when she saw his face.

"I'm alright," Shinji replied holding the bridge of his nose. When the shockwave from the N2 explosion hit his head slammed onto the central console in the plug. His nose was split across the bridge and blood was flowing around it. Medics bounced onto the flight deck and rushed over to patch him up. "That was officially the worst fishing trip I've ever been on."

"Well," Misato smiled. "At least you're safe."

"Hey!" Asuka yelped in glee as she jumped out of the plug cutting off the medics who were forced to go around her. "Where's Kaji! Did he see me in action!"

"He took off!" Misato snapped angrily. "He's probably back at headquarters by now, that jerk!"