Their grasping emotions and responsibilities and hopes and demands suddenly lost their grip and I took off at a stumbling run. I rushed forward, into the awaiting arms of peace and death. I stumbled and tripped just before reaching their awaiting comfort and slammed back into reality, head getting scrambled and eyes blurring as everything went dark. I had been in a car crash. I had been about to die. What stopped me? What kept me from the arms of peace?
"Karma," winds whispered among the grounds, to me. Karma? What did I do? I felt consciousness try and redeem itself, and I shoved it as hard as I could away from me. No, no. Others no longer expected anything from me, I was free! Don't do this to me! I was in a constant battle with consciousness, trying to keep it as far away from me as possible.
No. I refused.
Suddenly, a man appeared in the blank place I was in, looking at me battling with my own mind. I fought my consciousness off once more, focussing on the man that was intruding upon my empty being.
"You need to wake up now," He said, sounding stern. An avatar of me appeared to speak to him.
"No, I don't. Just let me die," the avatar pleaded, sounding more annoyed and inconvenienced than sad.
"What? No! No. I'm here to wake you up, and trust me, I have all the time in the universe to do it," He promised, determined. My avatar made a face at him.
"Nah, you have a few decades, maybe less. I don't know how long I've been fighting consciousness, but I can deal." My avatar makes a rude gesture and the man rolled his eyes, exasperated.
"You've been unconscious, with me, for a few days." He answered, and my entire being gaped at him. It had felt like an eternity, and I had been tiring of fighting wakefulness off recently. I couldn't react besides in shock for a good few moments before recovering.
"No, go fuck yourself and leave me alone," My avatar snapped, going to walk further into the depths of my conscious, putting me deeper into sleep. The man stopped my avatar, somehow, and I stared, irritated at the man.
"Really? At least be mature!" He snarked, and my avatar nodded wisely.
"Ah, okay. Fellow associate of my conscious, may I ask of thee to go and diddle the twiddle off with discretion elsewhere?" My avatar said wisely. Sarcastically. In a mature manner.
"Fellow as- diddl- what?" He asked, utterly incredulous. I felt confusion, before shoving the emotion away and fighting the consciousness once more. My avatar dissipated into the depths of my conscious and the man was once more alone.
"Wait! No! Come back," He whined, calling out. He sighed heavily, looking around the blank area, "Your mind is different. It's… it's dark, where's all the memories? The emotions are hanging around, I can feel them, but where is the random jumbled mess of a human mind?" The man commented casually. When consciousness left, my avatar appeared, panting.
"I deleted them. I kept the knowledge but the memories are all gone. I planned on dying and hoped on it, so I let my memories fade and burnt them, metaphorically. I now know things, but I have no idea how I know them, why I know them, or where the knowledge even came from," My avatar answered, panting fading as the mental exertion wore off slightly.
"Why would you delete your own memories?" He asked, bewildered. My avatar stared at him, shocked into a blank state.
"I feel hatred towards what I lived, and I don't even remember it. It was boring, repetitious, and extremely dull. A bit like shakespeare?" My avatar said, slowing down at that last bit. It sounded like something I should say, as if it were a reference that I no longer understood.
"Why was that last sentence a question?"
"Why are you asking a lot of questions?" My avatar shot back, uncomfortable in the knowledge that I just made a reference that I felt the love of, but didn't remember.
"You're uncomfortable, why are you uncomfortable?" He asked, ignoring the avatar's last words.
"Why are you in my mind?" My avatar asked instead of answering. The man looked around, confusion blasting off of him in waves.
"I… Need to wake you up. You need to wake up, that's why I'm here." He murmured, looking as if he were thinking. "You said you knew but didn't remember, do you know who I am?"
At that question, I gazed over him. I scanned him, observed his appearance and recalling his voice from moments before. His voice echoes around.
"Who I am? Who am I? Come on, you got this, you!" His voice echoes, an undertone of my own whispering it under his accent.
"I am, I am, I'm the Doctor, and I'm here to save you," His voice said, sounding happy and dramatic. The man whose voice was echoing separate from him gaped at the sound of his own voice.
"That… that- how did you do that? To have such accuracy in my accent, and able to change the words you've heard…" He trailed off as his voice echoed once more.
"That is- that is physically impossible! - Allons-y! - I'm the Doctor -" And the voice shifted, turning older and gruffer. Less… the accent that the man had and more… something else.
"I just need to remember-" the voice changed again, turning more the man's accent and younger, way younger.
"And then everything will unravel! Come on, you have to remember."
Images of the same man, the man standing in my mind, flooded the blank area, many different voices and many different creatures and images and memories floated around, but only of the man called the Doctor and things related to him. A faded version of my avatar appeared, and began to speak.
"These memories are the only ones I, as in the me before the memory wipe, wanted to keep. They will be the first, and the only memories that are able to be recovered. Good luck, amnesic me." And then the faded avatar vanished. They reappeared, "Oh, and a few songs and melodies. Outrunning Karma, Tainted Love, and any unlyrical pieces I've ever heard. And… any D-W songs." And then my mind was a bare library, a single blue book on the massive shelves while dramatic music played in the background.
My avatar looked around, and I filled a shelf with all of my knowledge, organizing it by title and coloring the books whatever color I felt suited them. Only a single shelf, in the massive library. The blue book was moved to a pedestal in the center of the maze-esque library. Then a large poster was put up, the man standing in awe at the moment was in both pictures, in different outfits. One was him, the man, the other was different, insane, and named Barty Crouch Jr. I was confused, but it was a solid meme, that I knew.