My friend,

I hope my address to you answers your first question, but just in case it doesn't I will clarify for you, we can remain friends, even if you wont tell me the answers to the most basic of questions… What is your favourite color?

You have such a way with words, you make falling asleep outside in the rain sound appealing. I will trust your judgement though and as I stated before, will take care of the book until you wish to take it back.

It wouldn't frighten me to have a friend who cares for me. I have witnessed so many frightening things that having someone there for me makes me feel the opposite.

Not American… Will you tell me where you're from?

Bella.

I scanned the letter once more before folding it and placing it within its envelope, this time with a little more restraint than I had with my first reply. For the first time since this began I allowed myself to sit and examine my feelings on the subject. I could feel myself drifting away from Edward, after so long mourning his absence I had gone through the process of letting him go and came out the other side, only to get him back again.

I didn't think this feeling was one i'd ever recover from. I still adored him, but I couldn't help but think that had more to do with my inability to resist whatever Vampire pheromones it was that they emitted, rather than genuine adoration. I adored all the Cullen's and now realised I almost felt the same way about Edward as I did Jasper and Emmet.

I chewed on my lip as I looked at the letter in my hands, this correspondence hadn't triggered my change of heart, I knew that. But it helped nudge me in the right direction, showed me the feelings I should be having about Edward but instead felt them towards a mysterious letter writer who genuinely cared about my wellbeing.

For a moment I allowed myself to daydream about having a normal human life with whoever was sending me these notes. Having children and a home, enjoying being alive…

But that just wasn't me.

Now that i'd had a glimpse of the world that lay hidden beyond the shadows, I didn't want to pull myself out of it. I knew that one day I wanted to become a Vampire, I just wasn't sure when or if I even wanted Edward to be the one to do it. To be tied to him more irrevocably than I already was didn't hold the same appeal to me anymore. I was my own person and maybe one day I would find someone who appreciated my strength, rather than my weaknesses.

My chest ached as I thought about Edward. I had tried to make it work, through all the pain and suffering he had caused me I had tried not to hold a grudge, to let it go and work on our future. But how could I have a future with someone who so plainly didn't want one with me? Sixty years to him would have passed in the blink of an eye and he didn't want to turn me, so i'd die an old woman and he'd carry on. I knew that because he had sworn to Carlisle never to pull a stunt like that again on the agreement they didn't vote for me to be turned. I frowned in displeasure as I recalled the conversation we'd all had upon our return to Forks.

'You have chosen not to live without her, you leave me no choice. I wont lose my son.' Carlisle had said, his expression one of beautiful sadness.

Edward had moved to lean against the banister, gripping it tightly in his hands as he spoke between gritted teeth. 'Fine, I wont do it again. You have my word. Just… Don't agree to this Carlisle, don't do this to me.'

And so the other Cullen's had followed in Carlisle's lead and decided that they couldn't put Edward through the emotional pain of condemning me. Even though I felt glad now that they had voted no, at the time it had stung. I had been so pumped full of adrenaline and joy at having Edward back by my side that I hadn't stopped to truly think about how I felt.

I smiled sadly as I realised that whilst I had come to the decision to stay human for now on my own just as Edward would have wanted, I had also decided to do so without him.

I remembered something Charlie had said to me once, when i'd asked why he still hadn't moved on from Mom. He had said 'There are some things in life that you just cant bounce back from. Some wounds just cut too deep and until they've healed properly you can't move forward. It would just be like rubbing salt in the wound to try before you're ready.'

That was exactly how I felt about this situation. What Edward had done to me was selfish, he had known the turmoil it would have placed me in and decided to do it anyway. Clearly as time held no significance to him the thought of me pining for a few months meant nothing in the grand scheme of my life. But the problem was that it meant everything. He took my love for him away from me that day in the woods. I had mourned him and now realised that what I had said to him in Volterra really was the truth, I could let him go.

I sighed softly as I tapped the letter against the palm of my hand and gazed out of my window blindly. How was I going to tell him?

My heart ached at the thought of his reaction and I wondered if it had hurt him to leave me at all? If he had felt anything like the way I was feeling now at the very thought of severing ties with him.

I heard the door slam and glanced down to realise Charlie's car was parked out front, I couldn't help but smile as I heard him call through the house.

"Bells? Where are you? Get down here will ya, I've got a present for you."

I rolled my eyes and padded downstairs, watching my step as I held the envelope tightly in my hand. As I stepped into the kitchen i put my hand behind my back to shield it from Charlie's view.

"What present?" I asked, smiling at him genuinely.

He seemed surprised for a minute, his open mouth gaping slightly before he seemed to shake himself out of it and present me with a poorly wrapped package. "I'm glad to see you're enjoying your birthday for once. Have you been anywhere with… anyone today?"

I knew who he was referring to and shook my head as I wedged the envelope between my hip and the kitchen counter, still keeping it hidden from view but freeing my hands so that I could open this gift properly. "No, I've spent the day here reading a book and just enjoying my own company."

Again he looked surprise before brightening considerably. "Well, that's great Bella."

As i peeled back the paper to reveal the gift I shook my head in astonishment, not quite believing Charlie to be this astute.

"If you don't like it I can take it back. I didn't know what to get you and I must have looked a bit helpless in the shop because another guy came to my rescue, asked me what sort of things you liked once i'd explained that I was shopping for you. I told him I'd seen you writing a lot so he suggested this." Charlie rambled on, panic and embarrassment lacing his voice before I shook my head at him and smiled brilliantly, the writing set clutched to my chest.

"No Dad, seriously this is amazing. I just couldn't believe you knew what to get me before I even asked." I shook my head again before something he'd said niggled at me. "Wait, you said another guy helped you? What did he look like?"

I felt my pulse speed up as Charlie frowned whilst he tried to remember. It couldn't have been him, could it?

"Tall with dark hair, was wearing an expensive suit. To be honest Bells I wasn't paying much attention to him through the haze of gift buying panic. He seemed to know what he was talking about though." Charlie rolled his shoulders into a shrug before leaning over to the top of the refrigerator to grab a beer from the surface.

As he strolled into the living room to take his customary seat before the TV I looked down at the set in my hands, pulling the letter from it's hiding place and setting it down next to Charlie's gift. Part of me was tempted to re-write the letter on the paper in my new set, but instead I decided to wait and see if he mentioned it. I needed some clue first that It was him before I asked.

Whilst Charlie was watching the television I slipped outside and placed my letter in its usual place before I joined my Dad on the couch, the gift still held tightly in my hands. He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes before returning his gaze to the screen. If he found me sitting with him strange, he didn't comment on it and instead we enjoyed a companionable silence whilst he watched sports and I tried to picture the tall man with dark hair that he had described to me.

I'm so glad you're all enjoying this. Don't forget to review with your thoughts.