"You should sleep." he hears a familiar voice behind him say.

"Sleep is for the weak." he half-jokes, not looking up from the heavily marked map on the table.

Suddenly, two arms snake around his torso from behind, pulling him back into the larger man's chest.

"It's 3 a.m." the man admonishes.

"Much too early for you to be awake, yes." He backhandedly agrees, ignoring the jab.

The arms around him tighten, pulling him closer still even as warm lips softly brush over his temple. "Come back to bed. Please."

He sighs, "I can't. This supply run is really important, we need to be prepared for anything."

"I think we're plenty prepared. Things happen, you can't possibly prepare for every possibility."

"I'm taking that as a challenge. I'm not losing anyone tomorrow."

A pause, a deep breath, "Is this... is this about Ed-"

"Don't!" he interrupts, tensing at the name. He fidgets a bit to widen the grasp on him before turning around and grasping at the other's shirt as if clutching a lifeline, hands trembling all he while. "P-please. Please don't..."

A sigh,"Oh love."and a hand on his cheek, gently lifting his face, brown eyes locking onto blue, "Do you still blame yourself?"

He wants to look away. He wants to, but his neck won't move, his eyes won't budge.

"I..."

A gentle chuckle, "Of course you do. It was your fault after all."

His eyes widen, stomach suddenly heavy, "...what?"

"You really are terrible at this leader thing." The fingers at his cheek sharpen, nails digging into his skin. "Either you get your friends killed," Two red eyes stare down at him, one warm and one cold metal, "or you drive them to betrayal."

A fanged snarl, framed by a metal jaw. Claws leave scorching red lines on his cheek.

"Why did you leave me behind?"

He feels like he's crying but his eyes are dry.

"I... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorryimsorryimsorryimsoso-"

Cold breath at his throat burningscorchingblazingpleaseno

"Sorry doesn't cut it."

painstabAGONY

He sat up much too quickly, bile crawling up his throat. He managed to swallow it back down somehow, his lungs screaming for air. The red, gleaming can in his hand now sported an imprint of it, squeezed tight. There was sweat dripping down his face, arms, back and the world felt too cold and too hot and it spun and spun and spun.

Finally, Edward managed to orient himself. He was in an unfamiliar room, sitting on a threadbare mattress. The sun outside was low, shining through the only window.

His brain then finally registered what woke him up. There were people yelling on the other side of the door, voices dreadfully familiar. What-

The yelling stopped suddenly, giving way to almost absolute silence. He could hear the murmur of quieter conversation, and there was something off about this situation, he just couldn't quite recall what.

Still sleep addled, the fog of terror on his mind not entirely lifted, he walked over to the door and opened it, slipping into the hallway. The voices grew clearer the further along he walked and why was this place so familiar why did it make something in his chest ache-

He walked into a living room, its inhabitants all tense and facing the door and he knew these people it was on the tip of his tongue.

And then the front door opened fully and oh.

Oh he's alive.

This man, this wonderful, terrible man.

The can slipped from his numb fingers.

He knew he recognized everyone else in the room but this- this-

His name, his name, his name was so important what was it what was his name.

Ah.

"...Eduardo?"

The man turned to look at him and he was so so achingly young and there was no recognition in those eyes, but he was alive and that was so so important and so so impossible.

Eduardo was saying something but Edward couldn't hear it over the pulse in his ears, rushing and beating and pumping so loudly. He took a step forward without meaning to, then another and another and another, hands reaching out to grasp at his shoulders, affirm that this was real that this man was solid, living flesh and blood.

He looked up and couldn't really bring himself to take in whatever expression Eduardo's face was forming when he spotted that spark or life in his eyes, blazing and bright.

Suddenly he found himself embracing the other man tightly, tears slipping down his cheeks and body trembling. A litany of quiet apologies slipped through his lips and he couldn't possibly hope to silence them.

Eventually he noticed that Eduardo was stiff as a board and finally allowed himself to take in the rest of the room.

"-dward, Edward, you need to let go of him, I think he can't breathe, Edward, come on."

There was a green-clad man beside him, face familiar yet also so utterly foreign, bearing no scars and no marks of fatigue, hair trimmed neatly and beard non-existent.

He managed to process what the guy was saying and with great effort made himself let go, retreating a few steps and looking blankly between the two men.

Eduardo seemed frozen in shock while Edd displayed a conflicting mix of emotions, although concern was at the forefront.

The silence was finally broken by one very eloquent "What the fuck." from Tom behind him, which seemed to be enough to finally unfreeze Eduardo, who shot a seething glare to Edward before turning to Edd.

"Control your damn relative, freak! What the fuck was that?"

Edd blinked, raising an eyebrow, "Uh, relative?"

Eduardo seemed put off by the question, looking back at Edward. "Well, I mean, there's definitely a family resemblance." Jon piped in from behind him. Eduardo was just a tad too mystified to tell him off for interjecting.

Matt giggled, "Oh silly, that's not Edd's relative. That's Edd form the future!" he proclaimed much too cheerfully.

Mark and Jon made complicated faces while Eduardo seemed to choke on air at the sudden declaration, disbelief warring with realization when he let his gaze swerve over the room, once again taking in the new additions to the household.

It made sense in a way. They were exactly like his neighbours yet also not at all. They seemed older, taller, more worn down and scarred.

And the Tom lookalike was staring at him. Wait, no, not him, behind him. He was staring at... Jon? His expression seemed pained, lips pulled back in a grimace, and none of the earlier aggression present.

Likewise, cyborg-Matt was staring, although his gaze couldn't seem to decide on which of the three to settle.

This was all... really creepy. Especially since he could still feel apparently-future-Edd's stare boring into him, an almost physical force on his profile. And seriously, what the fuck had that been just now? When he'd looked at him, Eduardo had seen fear, guilt, hope and an all-consuming, choking desperation that almost made him shudder.

Yeah, no, he couldn't deal with this, it was shaking him up. And judging by the looks of the various time-travelers, they couldn't either.

"Right. Fuck this." he declared with a sense of finality and pushed his two minions out the door before slamming it shut behind him.

Maybe some other day, when he was extremely drunk and felt like dealing with something entirely too troublesome.

Inside the house, all the stares moved from the closed front door over to Edward, who either didn't notice or didn't care, still staring after his... his... yeah, there was no label for that.

Edd was the first to break the now exceedingly awkward silence, "Um, you alright?"

Edward blinked dazedly and looked down at the younger man. He took a moment to process the question and finally cement himself in the present before giving Edd a small, mirthless smile.

"Not really."

Edd seemed to wince a bit and Edward would feel bad about that but he really had no energy to care at the moment, "Well, uh, there's food in the kitchen I can reheat for you if you want."

Edward considered the nausea he'd been feeling since he woke and realized that maybe not all of that was from emotional turmoil and leftover terror. He tried to remember the last time he'd eaten. Probably before the heist, except no, not then either because he'd been too nervous to even sleep, let alone eat, so maybe the day before that?

"Only if I get something to drink before that." he said absentmindedly, acknowledging his parched throat.

Edd grinned, "That can be arranged." he said, and practically dragged Edward to the kitchen by his coat sleeve.

As Edd stuck a plate with the last remaining noodles and sauce in the microwave and Edward melted into a chair once again from the blissful taste of cola (he was getting spoiled, seriously), there was a comfortable silence between them, accentuated by the electric humming of the microwave.

"Is that one of Tord's old coats?" Edd asked suddenly, having been wondering this for a while. He recognized the scratches on the left sleeve and that particularly used up spot on the right lapel.

Edward tensed, grip on his can tightening as he looked to the side with a frown, eyes far away.

"Yeah."

"Oh, so did you meet him again or something?"

Edward's eyes darkened, jaw clenching as he muttered "Or something."

Sensing this might be a sore spot, Edd reluctantly let the subject go. He was curious, really. They hadn't heard from Tord for a good three years now and he was admittedly a bit worried. But if Edward didn't want to talk about it there was little he could do.

Once the food was ready, Edward enthusiastically dug in, almost moaning and mumbling something about "real food" and "heaven".

It was a bit concerning but the man seemed happy for once, so Edd didn't ask.

Done with the food, Edd grabbed two more cans of cola, handing one to Edward (he usually didn't like to share his precious stash, but there was something about his future self melting in absolute delight that he really couldn't take away from him) and walking back to the living room, pieces of a conversation drifting into his ears.

"-ever happened to keeping an eye on him?"

"I didn't see you go check on him at any point in the last three hours. Besides I'm pretty sure you're what woke him up, yelling like that."

"I-" a sigh, "ugh whatever, what's done is done. He hasn't tried to escape yet so I guess that counts for something."

Edd walked in to see Matt and Tom off to the side, while Thomas and Matthew argued. Matthew was sitting once again, leaving Thomas still standing in the middle of the room and rubbing his temples.

Edward seemed to completely tune out their presence and simply sat down on the couch. Edd shrugged before following. Even though the man had been trying to kill him the previous evening, he honestly felt rather at ease with his presence. Maybe it was his current general apathy towards life, much like Tom's, that seemed soothing to him.

(Or, you know, maybe it was because he was literally sharing space with himself. Time travel was weird that way.)

Matthew and Thomas stared for a moment. Then Matthew shrugged and Thomas borderline facepalmed.

"I'm sharing living space with Edd fucking Gold, what the hell." he mumbled in partial disbelief, as if just now realizing this fact.

"Better get used to it, Blue. Unless you've got a third secret time machine somewhere, we might be staying here for a while. Or you know, you could just leave me alone." Edward said, not once looking at Thomas but staring ahead.

Thomas glared darkly, "Just you wait, Edd. You can't escape him forever."

Edward shrugged, still looking straight ahead, "I've managed until now."

Edd turned the TV back on at this point, sharing an uneasy glance with Matt and Tom. Beside him, Edward seemed to relax marginally, the grip on his can not quite so tight. Edd counted that as a win.

AN:

ah, the first flashback of many to come. probably. also first hint of past ship that kind of inserted itself there without permission, yay. also, hey, if you have a nicer suggestion for a story title im all ears, i named this fic at 3a.m. and i hav s