Sorry this took so long. Real life happened and the Orlando shooting threw me for a loop. Gonna take the chance here to say that a little something on that: the LGBT community is an international community and we all understand when someone comes into our safe space, a space we made for ourselves, and murders us. We feel it deeply. This could happen to you, me, a friend, anyone. It hurt like I never thought it would. My family flung all over the world, united by our common experiences.
Rest in peace and my heart goes out to those that lost a loved one in this tragedy. Don't let this hold us down, guys. We're strong and fuck the haters I'm going to make sure I make it to Pride this year.
Annnnndddd... On with the story!
Kara sat on the top step primly, waiting for Eliza while talking to Sharon. She was talking animatedly about this Discovery channel special she had watched.
"-what is down there?" Sharon gushed. "You never know! It's like 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea-"
Kara nodded amicably. The blonde had realized that there was a lot that she didn't know, such as common references to books and tv shows. Alex had assured her that it wasn't necessary to study up and it was fine if she had gaps in her knowledge, as not everybody knew the latest "in" quote the kids were randomly shouting at each other.
"You should come by some time." Sharon suddenly blurted out.
Kara looked at Sharon, wondering if she had missed something. "Pardon?"
"I mean, my parents wanna meet you." Sharon shrugged, scratching her nose, shrugging her shoulders in embarrassment. "I talk about you to them a lot."
"Why?" Kara asked warily.
"I dunno." Sharon shrugged, brushing her hair away from her forehead. "You're like, my BFF."
Kara frowned and couldn't help asking. "What is a BFF?"
Sharon just burst out into giggles, pushing Kara on the shoulder. "Oh my god, you're hilarious, Kara."
"Oh." Kara paused, then joined Sharon in the laughter, not knowing why but it seemed appropriate to laugh along with Sharon.
"So? You wanna hang out?"
"Oh! Hang out! I shall ask Eliza Danvers." Kara said, suddenly excited. She knew that word, 'hang out'! She was being invited somewhere! Kara had seen kids go home together to 'hang out' but had never been asked to go along. Alex was asked on occasion and went, and Kara would corner Alex when she returned home and hug the older girl to sneak a sniff so Kara could know what Alex had experienced. The Kryptonian smelled food, always, on Alex. Cheeses, meats, sour candy, butter, and soda… hanging out meant food!
"Great!" Sharon continued chattering excitedly about what they would do when they hung out when the Asian girl suddenly fell silent as a bunch of girls in their grades walked past them, snickering and whispering.
"Hi Sharon," Belinda called out, sickly sweet. The other two girls with Belinda broke out into giggles and whispers.
Sharon visibly stiffened as they walked past, only after they left did she continue talking as if nothing had happened. But Kara had heard what they said. And she saw red for a second because she knew whatever it was had made her friend sad. She could smell it.
"Hey-" Before she was even up, Sharon was in front of her, blocking Kara's way. The blonde had to stop herself quickly because if she knocked into Sharon, she might have sent her friend flying.
"They made you feel bad." Kara's hands were gripped into fists. "They called you Stinky Sharon. And I think that hurt your feelings."
"How did you even hear that," Sharon shook her head, the quaver in her voice made Kara even angrier. "It's fine. You know, my parents own the only Chinese restaurant in town."
"I will go and demand that they apologize to you." Kara said firmly, hands still clenched at her sides.
"No, Kara. Just let it go." Sharon tried to smile. "It's fine. They're always like that. At least this time they didn't ask me if I had dogs on the menu at the restaurant."
"Why?" Kara demanded to know, the unfairness, the unnecessary hurt they were causing Sharon flabbergasted Kara. Why? Why would anybody do things like that to make someone sad?
Sharon shrugged. "Because they're mean. And they've been doing it forever."
"I will talk to them." Kara said firmly.
"No. Kara, no. Please. Just leave it alone." Sharon was sad but… happy at the same time. It confused Kara.
"But they-"
"I'm glad you want to talk to them for me but what I need right now is just you to let it go. It's fine." Sharon patted Kara on the shoulder.
"But they shouldn't be mean."
Sharon gave Kara a pained smile. "Yeah. But sometimes people are just mean. It's better to just ignore them, cuz Belinda can really make school miserable for you."
"But you're already unhappy." Kara argued stubbornly. "I'll make her stop."
"Please, Kara." Sharon clasped her hands together. "Let me deal with this myself. It's already been a lot better since me and you started hanging out. At least now I'm not alone."
"You were alone before?" Kara tilted her head to the side.
Sharon shrugged, hunching her shoulders. "Come on, Kara. You must have noticed that besides you and the Science Club, nobody else talks to me."
Kara frowned thoughtfully as she tried to remember a time when someone not in the Science Club actually said something to Sharon and engaged her in conversation. Besides Brendan in Alex's grade, nobody else seemed to approach Sharon.
"Why?" Kara asked again, suddenly horrified that there was an imposed isolation on Sharon. The Asian girl smiled sadly and shrugged.
"I don't know."
"Don't worry," Kara put a hand on top of Sharon's shoulder. "I'm your friend. Your… BFF. Is that correct?"
"Yeah, Kara." Sharon grinned. "Yeah, that's great."
Kara grinned, then perked up, turning to face the front doors of the school.
"It's Alex!" Kara reported happily, just as Alex pushed through the doors, a smile already on her lips as she sighted Kara.
"Waiting long? Hi Sharon." Alex reached out and placed a comforting hand on top of Kara's head. Kara practically purred with happiness as the thrum of Alex's heartbeat connected with her skin, grounded her to this Earth.
"You're like a puppy sometimes," Sharon laughed at Kara, and it did seem that if Kara had a tail, she would be wagging it furiously at the near proximity of Alex. "And it's like you have Alex-radar. You always know when she's about to arrive."
Alex's hand left Kara's head abruptly. Before the conversation could continue, they were all distracted by someone calling out to them.
"Alex! Kara!" Eliza was coming up the steps. "Hi, Sharon."
"Hi Dr. Danvers!" Sharon said respectfully. "Can Kara come over and hang out some time?"
Alex and Eliza both had matching looks of panic on their faces before it smoothed over.
"Well, I don't know, Sharon. Kara is-"
"I can do it!" The thought of food motivated Kara to jump from one foot to the next. "I can go! I can do it!"
Alex and Eliza exchanged looks again.
"Alone, sweetheart?" The spot between Eliza's eyebrows furrowed in worry.
"I'll be with Sharon. It'll be fine." Kara nodded. Eliza looked from one hopeful child to the next and sighed.
"Let me ask Jeremiah and then we'll see." Eliza sighed, conceding. The two girls squealed and jumped around together while Alex looked on in worry.
"Alright," Eliza glances at the watch on her wrist. "We have to go in soon, the school counsellor is probably waiting for us."
It was a monthly check-in with the school counsellor and a school board-appointed psychologist to deal with the circumstances of Kara's adoption. Superman had thought it was best to keep as close to the truth as possible, that Kara's parents had died the Danvers had adopted her and the school had responded accordingly with trauma like this-scheduled visits with a mental health professional.
"See you tomorrow!" Sharon waved good-bye and headed out while Alex stood there, looking determined.
"I'll wait." Alex announced, like she always did. Alex had only ever missed the first few sessions, when Kara was new to Earth and Alex resented Kara with a deep anger. But now, Alex wanted to stick around and support Kara.
"Alex, you don't have to stay here, you head on home." Eliza repeated herself, the same song and dance they always did.
"I'll stay and just go home with all of you later." Alex's answer was always the same. They would argue but Alex would stick around. Eliza alternated between being proud of Alex for taking the responsibility of taking care of Kara so seriously, to worrying that that was all Alex was focusing on. Jeremiah had brought up that Alex was focusing on this 'problem' with the single-mindedness determination that their daughter had, reminiscent of when Alex was just four and a half years old and had been determined to ride a two-wheel bike. She had borrowed an older neighbourhood kid's bike and attempted to ride it until she could. Jeremiah and Eliza had been horrified when Alex came back bleeding from head to toe.
But. This was different. Kara needed so much looking after and Eliza was certain that her husband was just worrying needlessly...
"Hey, Alex!" A voice calling out to her distracted the two Danvers women from their burgeoning argument. Brendan was heading up the stairs, grin on his face, a crowd of kids at the bottom of the school steps looking up at them curiously.
"Oh, hey Brendan." Alex greeted.
"What are you doing? Want to come to the mall with us? We're gonna watch a movie! Mrs. Danvers, is it okay if Alex came out with us?" Brendan asked in a rush. "We're just going to the mall."
"No, I can stay-"
"No, it'll be good for you, Alex." Eliza patted her daughter's head fondly. "Go on-how are you kids getting there?"
"Someone's older sister is going to drive us. She has a van."
"Alright. Alex," Eliza reached into her pocket and took out twenty bucks, handing it to her eldest. "Don't spend it all in one place, okay? If you need me to pick you up, just give me a call afterwards."
Alex stood there, gaping. Her plan to stay had been completely dismantled in seconds as Brendan started herding her away from Kara and her mother and shuttled away in a van through her protests, with other children. Kara could still hear Alex, protesting and saying she had to stay with Kara while Brendan soothed her quietly in the noise of the van full of kids. Telling her he sees her and sees that she needs time to herself, too. That it wasn't helping Kara if Alex babied her. And that Alex needed to concentrate on herself and shouldn't just give up everything to take care of Kara.
"I can take care of myself." Kara said aloud as the van disappeared around a corner. "Right, Eliza?"
"Right, Kara." Eliza nodded, not having been privy to Alex and Brendan's conversation in the van. But Kara had heard every word and now strode to the counsellor's office like one would stride off to war. She would show them!
"Kara!" The counsellor, Mr. Richard Shears and the psychologist, Dr. Caroline Turing, turned to her in surprise as she barged in through the door, just remembering to pull back on her strength so she didn't break the door.
"Mr. Shears, Dr. Turing, I'm ready!" Kara declared, her face determined.
Dr. Turing smiled encouragingly. "I'm glad you're so ready for your session. This time, Dr. Danvers-"
"Yes?" Eliza smiled.
"Would you mind if we spoke to her by herself?"
Eliza felt momentary panic again, but kept the smile on her face. "Of course."
Eliza walked outside of the counsellor's office to wait in the reception area. The man and woman in the room smiled at Kara and Kara smiled right back. She liked these two people. Dr. Caroline Turing was… very young. Or so everyone seemed to say but Kara didn't really know why that was a problem. By the time children reached adulthood on Krypton, most were involved in a chosen profession and strove to excel at it. Kara had been shadowing her mother and other adjudicators to explore the possibility of following in her mother's footsteps.
"So, Kara. How are you today?"
"Very well, thank you." Kara looked from one to the other. Mr. Shears, though older, seemed to be following Dr. Turing's lead. On Earth, Kara had noticed that the older the person, the more respect was expected to be shown to them, regardless of whether they deserved the respect or not. This was refreshing to see as Kara did think Dr. Turing was more effective at talking to her than Mr. Shears, so Kara smiled and hoped they could see she was happy with this arrangement.
"Is there anything you want to talk about today?" Dr. Turing asked. Kara was distracted by the highlights in her hair and since Dr. Turing had asked, she pointed it out.
"I would like to talk about your hair. How did you get it that colour? Were you born with it?" Kara squinted behind her glasses.
"Oh, these are highlights, and my hair is not usually this colour. My hair stylist did this for me. Do you like them?"
"Yes." Kara nodded.
"Would you like highlights in your hair? Or would you like to change the colour?"
Kara paused, thinking about her choices seriously. "I think I do like my hair this way. But, I would like a strand of my hair a different colour, like my aunt."
"Oh?" Dr. Turing smiled encouragingly. Kara turned to look over at Mr. Shears who was scribbling frantically in his notepad. The sound was distracting. Dr. Turing noticed her distraction and placed a hand on top of the notepad, stopping Mr. Shears from writing.
"So, Kara? You said your aunt had a strand of hair a different colour… is that the colour you like?"
Kara looked back up at Caroline Turing's face. "I like the colour of Alex's hair."
"And what colour is that?" Dr. Turing brought out her own notebook now, jotting down a quick note and stilling her pen immediately after.
"Humans… I mean… like we're all humans," Kara stuttered. "It's a… human colour. A colour humans have. And, uh, we're all humans. You, and Mr. Shears. And me."
Ms. Turing nodded, used to the tangents that Kara would go on.
"It's the colour of Ra-the sun. At sunset." Kara smiled wistfully. "I know Alex's hair is brown, but I can see tints of it, in her hair. The red."
"Alex, your foster sister, is that correct?"
"Yes." Kara nodded, pleased. She liked the way that Dr. Turing always confirmed what she was saying and didn't seem annoyed when Kara would ask for clarification sometimes in their conversations.
"The colour is called auburn, I believe." Dr. Turing supplied gently. "Why do you like that colour?"
"It reminds me of home." Kara answered honestly, blinking rapidly as she felt the onset of tears. It happened sometimes when she would think about Krypton.
"Kara, why don't you tell me about Alex?"Caroline Turing leaned back as Kara's face brightened, like the sun bursting through the clouds, as Kara talked about her favourite person. It was freeing, telling someone whose sole purpose it seemed, was to listen to Kara talk about everything and anything. Of course, Kara could see when Dr. Turing would sometimes try to direct the conversation towards an area she wanted to explore but it was always at Kara's pace.
Dr. Turing smiled a little secret smile as she jotted down small one-line notes. From what Kara was saying, the psychologist could surmise that Kara thought Alex hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Needless to say, it seemed that Kara was doing very well with the Danvers' family and seemed set on making the best of her situation despite the tragedy that had befallen her. Kara had been diagnosed as having high-functioning autism but Dr. Turing didn't think the diagnosis was correct. Neurologically, Kara was different, but to classify it in certain terms didn't fit for Dr. Turing. Kara was… different. Almost alien. Kara was not like any of the other people Dr. Caroline Turing saw and Dr. Turing watched people meticulously. The little blonde girl seemed to struggle with social norms and languages, which most doctors would diagnose as autism, but Dr. Turing just wasn't completely satisfied with that explanation.
Kara was, for all that had happened to her, healthy and as happy as she could be given the circumstances. The Danvers seemed to care about her and Alex Danvers in particular seemed a particularly bright spot. They talked some more, then Dr. Turing decided to cut the session short when she could see Kara's attention wavering.
"You seem impatient about something." Dr. Turing pointed out.
"Alex went out with her friends." Kara's lips poked out in a little pout. They had come a long way. Before, facial expressions and body language seemed to escape Kara.
"That's okay, though, right?" Dr. Turing smiled encouragingly. "She has friends and so do you."
"But I like her best." Kara responded truthfully.
Mr. Shears chuckled, adding in his two cents. "I used to hang out with my brothers all the time, too. But then we got sick of each other. Then they had their friends and I had mine."
Kara looked at Mr. Shears, concentrating on his words.
"All the time?"
"Yeah," Mr. Shears smiled at Kara. "We would get into fights and everything. I was the youngest, so I guess I was kind of annoying."
Kara nodded seriously.
"Alright, let's bring Dr. Danvers in and we can wrap up." Dr. Turing got up to bring Eliza in. Throughout the rest of the session, Kara wasn't paying much attention, fidgeting with her hands and occasionally pushing her glasses back up her nose when they slipped down. On the ride back home she was quiet, only asking if Alex had called. The older girl had not, but had texted to say that the movie would take maybe two to three hours, then Brendan would get her home.
With Eliza busying with dinner, Kara excused herself out to the shed. Viox opened itself up for her, and Kara clambered into the pod.
"Lady Kara, it seems that you are in some distress. Is there anything I can do to assist you?" Viox asked, it's interior glowing a comforting red.
The red of Rao's dying light at sunset.
The colour of Alex's hair.
"Viox. Am I annoying?"
"No, my lady." Viox answered earnestly.
"Do you think… do you think Alex will ever get tired of me? Get annoyed with me?" Kara wrapped her arms around her knees, curling up as small as possible.
"Alexandra Danvers is an honourable person. And she genuinely cares about you." Viox pointed out. "I know at the beginning you had reported that you were having difficulty connecting with her, but she is truly for you and would make a loyal companion."
"I don't think they do that here, Viox." Kara's breath hitched in her throat. "I have no-one, except you and Kal-El."
"My lady, what has happened?" Viox was at a loss. He… had never developed his understanding of emotions as he had no need of it. He was a survival pod and he focused on the necessities to sustain life for his charge. He never thought he would need to develop his understanding of how to make Kara thrive.
"Will she get sick of me?" Kara asked, wanting and not wanting to know the answer at the same time.
"You had your counselling today. Was this because of something they said?" The tone of Viox's voice could be considered angry. "I shall submit an anonymous complaint against your mental health provider. I have already accessed her credentials and they seem most peculiar. I will advise the local law enforcement-"
"No, Viox. It's… Dr. Turing is great. It's just, something Mr. Shears-"
"He is not even a doctor! Why would they allow-"
"Viox," Kara laughed through her sadness and allowed a smile on her face. "By merit, not by credentials. My father had always stressed that. Just because he does not have a title does not mean he may not be helpful."
"But in this instance, he was not." Viox was pulsing angrily and his exterior was prickling into furious spikes. "Let me call Alex and have her come to you, you always feel better-"
"No, no, don't call her!" Kara wiped at her face frantically. "She's having fun with her friends. I can do this."
Kara smiled tremulously at the display in front of her. "I am strong. I am the l-last daughter of Krypton. I'm grateful for everything, for the c-chance that I had been given on t-this planet."
"Lady Kara…"
"Let me just stay in here for a bit. Please."
"As you wish, my lady." Viox dimmed the lights and the interior changed so it was like she was looking out at Krypton from her room… Kara ducked her head down, willing the tears to stop. This overwhelming grief had come farther and farther in between… but the thought of that just made her even more sad. One day, will this hurt fade? And when this hurt was gone… what would she be left with?