Thank you to all the people who kept leaving me comments. Really motivated me to write and I needed a lot of motivation for this chapter. There were several revisions of this, actual FULL LENGTH CHAPTERS DONE. And then I erased it because it didn't jive with everything. And I was feeling super weird, what with this new world that we're living in where someone so vastly unfit could win over someone who spent her life being ready. Fuck, man.
So hopefully the lot of you like this. Tell me how you think this might go, or how you want it to go. And apologies for the long hiatus and I hope you all enjoy.
Kara didn't like Rebecca that much. She told Kal as much during one of their weekly telephone calls.
"Well, you know Alex has friends, too." Kal-El's voice was tinny and small. But it was better than the primitive form of 'video-calling' they have on Earth.
"I am not jealous." Kara replied firmly, scowling. Rebecca had come calling for surfing. It seemed that now that there was something Alex could do without Kara, Rebecca was taking every opportunity to drag the older girl out without her blonde shadow.
"It's been hours." Kara whined. "She should be back by now!"
Kal chuckled. "They'll be fine. They're probably having a lot of fun."
"She could be having lots of fun with me. And she could be safe." Kara huffed. "I was watching the television, and there are sharks in the water! They eat surfers!"
"They eat a lot of things, Kara, not just surfers." Clark chuckled. "And didn't Alex enter a contest with her friends? She has to practice."
"She doesn't need to," Kara's chest puffed out with pride. "She's already better than everyone else! That's why she should come home. I heard sharks come out during dusk."
Kara shuddered at the thought of the creatures and their many teeth.
"Well, sharks are necessarily bad, Kara-"
"I know, Shark Week explained that. Sharks just remind me too much of the creature living in one of the oceans on a tribute planet I once visited." Kara replied solemnly. "There are too many teeth. And don't get me started on the dolphins… those creatures have the truest ability for evil as defined by humans, wrapped in a deceptively cute package."
"Ooookay." Clark made a note to himself to talk to the Danvers about limiting Kara's intake of animal documentaries. "But besides Alex, how's school?"
"School is unchallenging." Kara replied. "Except for my peers. They are difficult to understand, but I am learning their slang."
"I see," Sometimes Kara slipped into a more formal way of speaking, as if she was a walking textbook, but her speech was more casual than when Clark had first met her on Earth. "And I heard you have a school-appointed doctor looking after you?"
"Yes, Dr. Turing and I have very good conversations. I find her very intelligent." Kara smiled, remembering the doctor with the secretive smile on her face. "She is helping me to fit in."
"That's very good." Clark was pleased. There was a moment of silence on the phone, before Kara asked her next question.
"When can I see you?"
Clark winced. He always dreaded his calls with Kara because she would ask him this question. "Kara, you know I can't at the moment, I'm just… I'm really busy right now."
Clark barely had time to even rest as a new journalist, let alone fly around saving people. Lois Lane and him were also together a lot for assignments so that was something he didn't want to miss, either. Sure, he could quick change like nobody's business, but there was only so many hours in the day, and maintaining his human persona AND saving Metropolis and the world at large was a 24-hour job. His cousin was well-taken care of and… he just didn't have the time. Truthfully, taking care of a young Kryptonian teenager was a task that even he, as Superman, found incredibly daunting, if not impossible.
"I know." Kara's reply was soft and wounded.
"But is everything okay?"
"Yeah." Kara tried to sound more cheerful, but this was her baby cousin. Or not so baby cousin. She just wanted to see that he was okay. He was her only family.
"I'll try my best to come out to see you soon." Clark promised. He knew he had to... maybe the next holiday he had he could take off for a quick visit.
"Alright-Oh!" Kara had been looking out the second floor window, facing the road. "Alex is coming back! I have to 'hang-up' now, Kal-El!"
"It's Clark, remember? Talk to you later, Kara." Clark's smile was audible on the phone, but his words made Kara's heart hurt. She tried to keep her spirits up, though, remembering that Alex was coming home as she pressed the end call button.
Kara watched Alex approaching from far away, could hear her heartbeat in her ear, beating quicker because she was pedalling. Kara frowned when she saw Rebecca biking beside Alex and it didn't seem possible, but her frown deepened when Rebecca said something that caused Alex to throw back her head and laugh uproariously.
Kara watched until they had rolled to a stop on the driveway, on their bikes. Kara… Kara had never seen that look on Alex's face. That look was so unsure, as Rebecca leaned over on her bike, coming way too close to Alex. Almost talking in her face.
"Now wasn't that nice? Just you and me, out on the ocean." Kara could hear Rebecca's voice, pitched lower than normal, and Kara bristled at the tone.
"Yeah," Alex laughed, and Kara could hear her heart beating triple time, even though she wasn't pedalling anymore. When Rebecca lifted a hand to grab on to the sleeve of Alex's shirt, Kara suddenly understood the expression, 'seeing red'.
"Hey!" Kara exclaimed angrily in Kryptonian. Apparently, she was loud enough for them to hear outside as Alex sprang away from Rebecca and almost tripped over her own bike. Rebecca looked around until she spotted Kara at the second floor window. Her sneer said exactly what she thought about Kara and really, for Kara, the feeling was mutual.
"Get away from her!" Kara shouted angrily. Rebecca rolled her eyes at the blonde, not understanding, and the building muffling Kara enough that Rebecca didn't quite get that Kara was screaming in a different language.
"I'll see you at school?" Rebecca patently ignored Kara's incensed shouting.
"Uh, yeah," Alex was looking up at Kara, trying to tell the little alien to just chill out silently, and was totally unprepared for the quick hug Rebecca gave her.
Alex was red as a tomato. Kara was, too, but for entirely different reasons.
"AGH!" Kara felt her eyes heating up and clamped them shut, though she was still furious and secretly, wouldn't have minded shooting Rebecca into space. The blonde sat down on the floor, holding her hands over her eyes and glasses, and feeling just so angry. She could hear Alex saying goodbye to Rebecca, could hear her parking her bike and putting her surfboard back on the rack in the garage. Kara could hear the garage door closing, could hear Alex bursting through the door in the garage, calling out a hurried greeting to her mom and running up the stairs.
"Kara!" Her foster sister's voice was loud in her ear, angry.
Kara kept her eyes squeezed shut and now clamped her hands over her ears, shaking. The feelings roiling through her was… unpleasant to say the least. On Krypton, she didn't remember ever feeling like this. Everything was a rational, even, atmosphere. There were no explosions of emotions to bring her to tears all the time, no white noise of… EVERYTHING closing in… no emotions, nothing she couldn't think through… even when Aunt Astra had been taken away, even when her mom had put her into the pod… she was never as emotional as she was on Earth. She just had to calm down…
"Kara," Alex sounded far away, but Kara could hear the older girl's heart, steady and faithful, thrumming in Alex's chest. Kara startled when she felt Alex's hands over hers.
"It's okay." Alex was in front of her, pressing her forehead against Kara's. Sometimes, for Kara, it felt like Alex was as hot as Earth's yellow sun. And as Alex whispered to her, telling her to calm down, Kara thought about how it wasn't right. It wasn't right for Alex to be so close to Rebecca, for people to touch her. It wasn't what Kryptonians did, people were NOT. SUPPOSED. TO. TOUCH. HER.
"It's okay, Kara. Just breath. Listen to the sound of my voice." Alex's nails raked through Kara's hair, grounding her in touch, the sensory overload clearing, the pressure of Alex's fingers beating back that loud whiteness that encroached all around.
Kara opened her eyes a little bit, feeling that the heat behind her eyelids had dissipated. Kal-El had warned her about this, one of the first things he told her was the unimaginable power bestowed upon her on Earth.
"Feeling better?" Alex entwined her fingers in Kara's, pulling her hands down. They were both kneeling on the floor, Alex studying her with a worried frown.
"I'm sorry." Kara muttered.
"It's okay. But hey, it's been a long time since you've conked out like this." Alex stroked Kara's head affectionately. But Alex didn't know what Kara was apologizing for. The blonde was apologizing because she knew Alex didn't belong to her in any sense. Adoptive family or not, they weren't anything to each other, nothing permanent, nothing Kryptonian strong. She will always be Kara Zor-El. While she tried to integrate into Earth society, she had to use the identity of Kara Danvers but she will never forget where she's from.
Kara was apologizing for coveting Alex Danvers. They were nothing to each other and owed nothing. Alex was not her Companion, and was not of the House of El. There was no bond between them that would require Alex to commit special loyalties to Kara.
"Are you okay? What happened?"
"I'm fine." Kara smiled, trying her best to keep a 'stiff upper lip' but she felt… ashamed of herself. "I just need to… I'm sorry."
"Why don't we relax a bit? There's still some time before dinner, we can watch TV." Alex knew Kara liked the shows on TV, even though the blonde sometimes would gesture with her hand at the television and when nothing happened, Kara would make little noises of discontent and then make a little comment about how primitive human technology was.
"Ok." Kara acquiesced. She tried not to make a sound as Alex ran her fingers through Kara's hair again, thrilling the Kryptonian to the core of her being. This was something that those who BELONGED to each other did back on Krypton, but Kara didn't tell the older girl, knowing that that would 'freak out' Alex. The ability to physically touch someone, and to be able to do it when and where you want, were dictated by the rules of Kryptonian society. It was to show bonds, to show your politics, to show kinship, to show acceptance and welcome… Kara didn't remember ever seeing physical affection like she saw here on Earth. The most she saw that was slightly akin to Earth's physical affection was her father and his Companion when they thought they had been alone, and her father had been gently held from behind as his Companion pressed her cheek against his back. That was already quite a bit of physical touching. Her father and mother only ever held hands, and only in public at that to advertise their union. That had been enough and… it just wasn't like on Earth where it seemed everyone was obsessed with physicality. Even Kara, now that she was on Earth. Kara sometimes felt breathless with loneliness. And when she did, she keened for Alex and wanted the brunette to be next to her.
It felt presumptuous to Kara, for some people to shake her hand, to touch Kara, at first. But she learned the manners of this strange planet and shook hands and 'high-fived'. She accepted the needless encroachment into her personal space and learned to enjoy this. Kara sometimes wondered if all humans were like that because she did notice that Sharon's family weren't especially physical.
But it didn't feel presumptuous at all, when Alex took her hand. But this would have been a statement, in Kryptonian society. A very clear statement for Kara's people that whoever held her hand was hers in some way, as she was Alex's.
"Come on, I know they have those animal shows you like to watch now." Alex turned on the TV and flipped to a channel where a disembodied voice was narrating animals and their mating rituals. Kara half watched this show, more distracted by the fact that Alex kept their hands connected.
They watched TV for a while until they were called to help set the table for dinner. Kara knew Alex hated doing it so she always tried to rush ahead and do everything before Alex got there. By the time Alex had gotten up from the couch, Kara had already finished setting the table.
"Alex," Eliza tsked, entering the dining room with a deep pan.
"What?" Alex feigned innocence, but grinned at Kara when Eliza turned back to the kitchen.
"Everything smells so good!" Just like his daughter, Jeremiah appeared just as everything was ready.
"You two are doing the dishes after dinner." Eliza was back with a plate of asparagus. "Don't think for one second either of you are getting away without doing some chores tonight."
The father and daughter groaned but sat at the table to patiently wait for Eliza to get settled down. Kara had ducked into the kitchen and was bringing out the salad bowl.
"Thank you, Kara." Eliza smiled. As soon as Kara was seated too, everybody dug into their meal.
"So how's surfing going along?" Jeremiah heaped some salad on to his daughter's plate. "Rebecca was with you, right?"
"Yeah, she's really helping me with my form." Alex started talking enthusiastically about the other girl, who would help point out areas that she could improve in her technique. While Alex was a quick learn, she was impatient in her surfing. Rebecca helped pull her back a bit.
"She's really good at surfing, you know, but I'm a bit better. But if she worked a bit harder, she could be even better." Alex gushed about her new friend. Kara glared at her salad, not liking how this conversation was going.
"So do you need me to drive you over to her place after you shower?"
"Yeah, dad."
Kara's head shot up. "What?"
"Alex is sleeping over at Rebecca's. They're doing some early morning surfing." Jeremiah grinned at Alex. "Shredding those waves!"
"Dad," Alex groaned at how embarrassing Jeremiah was.
"No, she can't." Kara looked over at Eliza desperately. "That's not something she can do, right? She has to sleep here."
"Rebecca's closer to where we wanna surf, and we have to go early to get the good waves." Alex explained blithely. "I'll just see you at school in the morning."
"But you have your bed here." Kara argued. "Where will you sleep? It'll be easier to sleep here with your bed instead of bringing it over to Rebecca's."
"Well, I'm not bringing my bed over." Alex laughed a bit and her parents chuckled, too. "Rebecca has a queen sized bed, so I'll just sleep with her."
"You can't!" Kara was up out of her chair, suddenly incredibly angry, Kryptonian spilling out of her mouth so quickly Alex barely understood. "She's nothing to you and you can't go to someone's house at night and just sleep there and be in the same bed as them and then I can smell her on you and you don't belong to each other!"
"Kara, honey, calm down. We don't understand what you're saying, try using English." Eliza was out of her chair and rubbing Kara's shoulders soothingly, but Kara was quivering with all the emotions that were bubbling up at the thought of Alex in the same bed as Rebecca.
"What's wrong, Kara?" Jeremiah was halfway out of his seat, watching Kara worriedly.
"I can do what I want." Alex said sullenly, reacting badly to what Kara had said, only able to focus on the fact that Kara had tried to get Eliza to stop her from going surfing. "And I want to win this competition, so I'm going over the Rebecca's. And what's it to you?"
Kara let out a breath that froze her salad to her plate, not that she noticed since she was so frustrated by the whole situation.
"On Krypton, there should always be a guest room separate from your host, if you are visiting. Sleeping in the same room is not acceptable! And sleeping in the same bed is-you just can't!" Kara wrung her hands. They just don't understand! And explaining the nuances of Kryptonian culture and society and the importance of how this system was for the House and the distinction that must be drawn, how Kryptonians felt about physical touch and proximity-
"Well, if it was a boy, of course she can't." Jeremiah joked, but the glare Kara shot him told Jeremiah that had been the wrong thing to say.
"Why does that matter? Rebecca is not of the House of Danvers so Alex cannot go-"
"Earth is not Krypton!" Alex was on her feet, angry that suddenly Kara was trying to stop her from doing something she wanted to do and suddenly she could feel all these words tumbling out of her mouth but she just didn't have any way of stopping them. "And you can't tell me what to do! Who are YOU to tell me what to do, anyways? By your logic, you shouldn't even be living here, you're not even really a Danvers!"
A sudden horrible silence fell over the table. Kara blinked owlishly at Alex, who was too stricken to move or say anything to fix what had happened. Alex wished, just really wished that there was a time machine and she could go back in time and just stop herself from saying what she had said, but it was too late. The alien in the room looked all too human now, but Kara didn't say anything, just turned away from the table and walked away quickly, her exit punctuated with the creak of the backyard screen door and the subsequent swinging slam signalling that Kara had left the building.