I'm sorry this is so late coming and I really appreciate everyone waiting so patiently. I've had a lot of shit thrown at me in real life that's eaten up all of my time, energy, and inspiration. Watching the Supergirl fandom explode at SDCC was something else, too. Wow. And after coming off of Orphan Black, it was plain awful to see how insensitive some of the SG cast were. Just night and day with how they treat their fandom.
And of course, Orphan Black is some quality shit right there and Supergirl has just decided to push the whole 'hey now, aren't YOU being a bit judge-y?' to someone disagreeing with a whitebread shitstain slave-owner. Fuck off.
Well, at least there is still fandom.
Shout outs to the Kalex writers out there still writing, I love you all. Special hello to justanexercise and floorplan who hit me up to talk on tumblr and ask me wtf I'm doing. And the random anonymous that sometimes drop by to ask me if I'm continuing.
Hat tip to the Supercorp fandom. Ouch, man. I feel it for you.
And enough of my rambling, please enjoy this new chapter. It's a bird will be updating next, hopefully.
It was quiet in the house, now. There would be the occasional comment from Eliza, and the resentful reply from Alex, but it was quiet. Since Jeremiah left, Eliza was a lot more biting, but conversation was few and far in between, and Eliza was quiet, as if she realized the person who usually kept the peace was gone.
Alex stays in her room or was usually holed up with Brendan at the library, doing homework. It was a pretty awkward atmosphere all around as the women in the house moved around each other. There were times when Alex found her mother alone in the kitchen, fixing dinner and Alex would help out quietly. As long as they didn't speak, their presence in each other's proximity was like a balm on their mutual wounds. Eliza swept in and out of Alex's space quietly, sometimes with iced tea or a glass of milk if Alex was burning the midnight oil.
Kara travelled between Eliza and Alex, wanting to try and make it better but shrinking away sometimes at the way Eliza and Alex both looked at her. Kara thought that sometimes, she would catch glimpses of something like blame in Eliza's gaze and something like grief in Alex's.
The two Danvers, in their own way, tried to make Kara feel better. Eliza overcompensates, showering Kara with affection and attention, saying in no uncertain terms that it wasn't Kara's fault what had happened. Cooks Kara her favourites, spends time with her talking about all the things Kara wonders about, but Kara still sees Eliza watching her with pained eyes.
Alex tells Kara it wasn't her fault but Alex is still too young to be able to lie well about her feelings and her sudden avoidance of Kara says everything. Alex holds herself away from Kara and the familiarity of Alex's regular, casual touches petered off to awkward pats or stiff hugs. Kara knew, could feel it in the way Alex's posture becomes ramrod straight when Kara reaches for her. But Alex would bounce back and forth between extremes, from cold to hot. Equally, there would be times when Alex would seek her out and hold her so tight, Kara felt like nothing could hurt her, that Alex's arms would keep her safe. There were times where Alex would prepare sisters' night and get new treats that Kara had never tried before. Alex would also be suddenly super attentive, and-this was something that worried Kara-would get into fights at school for Kara at the tiniest provocation.
But it would be hot and cold, hot and cold… and the biggest difference is that Kara sleeps in her own bed at night and the conversations they usually have during that dark time are replaced with silence.
Jeremiah wasn't completely gone, of course, he still called as much as he could. It was just like he had gone away for work, or for a convention that was longer than usual. That's what the Danvers family did, pretend that Jeremiah was close by, that he hadn't essentially been traded for Kara's safety. The girls didn't know much, had obeyed and not listened in on the conversation when there was knocking at the door after their flight. Kara and Alex understood the events were all connected and their flight had lead to Jeremiah packing up hastily and leaving them by the end of that week with no determined return date.
Kara knew it was her fault. She did something wrong again and this time, Jeremiah paid the price. Eliza was tight-lipped about it, only telling them that this was just a new work arrangement for Jeremiah, that this was just temporary, and this didn't have anything to do with Kara. All her assurances were met with silence. The girls knew better than to call out these blatant lies because they had realized early on that they weren't for them, but reassurance for Eliza herself.
Kal hadn't visited at all since he left her here. He called her, but he never visited. And yesterday, Kal had called to speak with Eliza, to ask if he could do anything to help Eliza, had APOLOGIZED for the inconvenience of Kara and offered to look for someone else who might be able to HANDLE Kara. Kal had talked to Kara after, quiet disapproval in his voice, reminding her about why she had to hide. Kara, when she had finished being lectured by her younger cousin, had gone to the beach looking for stones. She spent a long time, crushing fist-sized rocks into fine sand, methodically grinding the stones into nothing, wondering what other emotions she was feeling besides loss and longing.
Alex had finally come looking for her when it started getting dark, taken Kara's hand and gently brushing them off. Alex's hand in hers had loosened up that tight feeling in Kara's chest until it was just a dull ache, soothed by the steady thrum of Alex's heartbeat through the skin of their connected hands as Alex lead her home. But they broke apart when they were back at the house, the spectre of Jeremiah's absence driving them apart.
And now, Kara found herself retreating to Viox, hiding inside the comfort of Viox's familiar interior. She had spent almost two decades, protected inside Viox. It offered Kara some comfort, some insulation from the reality of loss, of blame, of survivor's guilt. She would stay in here and imagine that she was still suspended in a stasis. Kara found herself wishing she was still out there in the darkness. Or imagining how good it would've been if she had been with her world when it was destroyed.
"What should I do, Viox?" Kara asks, one day, tucked safe in the egg-shaped spacepod. "It's my fault."
"We can bring him back." Viox suggested. "You said that they took him because of you? We can surmise that they are probably not friendly, and therefore must be dealt with accordingly. We can mount a rescue mission."
"Jeremiah went willingly. And I know what you mean by 'rescue', Viox." Kara rebuked Viox gently. Viox was a survival AI, and he had defensive and offensive functions, but he had always been more… action-inclined after Aunt Astra had him for a bit. "Viox, as a proud member of the House of El, we'll exhaust all options before we resort to violence. The Earth phrase, violence begets violence might also be a warning, too, Viox."
"The humans and their primitive technology?" Viox's voice was dripping with derision. "Let them try. They do not even have phones with proper camera integration yet. Their medieval technology barely lasts and their communication devices power down after a quarter of a day of heavy use, on average."
"But what kind of life would the Danvers have as fugitives?" Kara remembered fugitives that had been escaping Daxam. The group had made their way to Krypton, exhausted, harried, their faces hollowed and fearful. The youngest, whom Kara had played with while Kara's mother spoke to the older refugees, kept looking over their shoulder at the slightest noise. Kara's aunt had helped escort the refugees back to the homeworld they had been stolen from, and Kara never forgot the look in that child's many eyes as they chittered fearfully.
There was a bit of silence before Viox let out a sigh. Viox had been adopting speech patterns, emotional sounds and colloquial phrases. Kara thought that the AI was learning Earth behaviours better than she was, really.
"What do you want to do, My Lady?"
"I need to learn to really integrate into Earth society." Kara felt her heart get heavy. "I need to hide my powers better so Alex and Eliza will be safe. I need to really commit to living like a human being."
"… if that's what you think is best, Lady Kara." Viox deferred to Kara.
"Yes." Kara nodded. "I think I need to… try to be more human. No flying, especially. Definitely no flying."
"But you enjoy it, my Lady."
"Not if they take another person away." Flying had been one of the only things that made Kara feel at peace, made the pain bearable. It was odd to be able to fly, but she loved it. Kara drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly. But she would give it up to keep the Danvers safe.
"I wouldn't let them, my Lady. And Alexandra wouldn't let them either."
"She's mad at me right now. I don't know what to do, Viox." Kara hid her face, arms wrapped around her legs and squeezing herself as hard as possible, trying to make herself smaller and smaller. It was strange how Alex could make her feel so much. "I'm not worthy to be hers."
"Well, Lady Kara, you're from the Great House of El. Of course you are worthy. Alex is one of the best Earth has to offer but she's-"
"She's the best of what Earth has to offer and it's me who should worry about whether or not I'm worthy of her. She's the light of my life, the apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee." Kara quoted the last movie she saw with Alex, remembering what the cartoon rabbit had said. "I'm… I'm thinking of leaving here. It may be better to leave the Danvers."
Viox's interior walls rippled in agitation.
"Maybe you're being a little bit emotional, Lady Kara. We talked about how the yellow sun affects you, beyond your enhanced strength and invulnerability."
Kara shook her head, tears starting up and Viox immediately changed tactics, trying to sooth Kara. "And where would you go? Kal-El seems to not understand what 'El Mayarah' means. I am loathe to say that maybe your cousin had made a good decision; the Danvers are best suited to taking care of you."
Viox, who spent all it's time exploring Earth's relatively new information superhighway, kept a lookout for news about Kal-El. Viox didn't make it a secret that it didn't like the son of Jor-El and pointed out quite bluntly that Kal-El had abandoned Kara. Kara was quite sure that Kal was doing this for her own good. She did her best to understand. Because Kal wouldn't just abandon her. They were family, part of the great House of El. Blood bound them all. But Kal… Kara was now, more and more, realizing that Kal didn't know what that meant in the Kryptonian sense.
"Let's not talk about Kal." Kara said miserably.
"Alright, my lady-"
Viox was interrupted by a soft knock on the outside of Viox. That side of the pod became translucent so Kara could look outside. Alex stood there, holding up a bowl, heaped full of Neapolitan ice cream. Viox opened quickly, so Kara could jump out. The young Kryptonian stumbled, glasses becoming a bit lopsided on her face at her haste in getting out.
"Kara," Alex huffed out an exasperated laughed. "Be careful."
"Yes, of course." Kara nodded eagerly, eyes on the ice cream. "Is that for me?"
"Yeah."
Kara sat down on the ground, holding out her hands eagerly. Alex sat down across from her and handed her the bowl. Kara was about to dig in, but stopped to hold out her spoon to Alex first.
"Do you want some?"
"Maybe some of the chocolate." Alex reached out to right Kara's glasses, then quickly withdrew her hands. Kara wilted a bit at the retreat of Alex's hands, but spooned out a big chunk of ice cream for Alex.
"Here!"
"I can't eat all of that." Alex chuckled, but took the spoon and started working on it, her tongue darting out to lick at the ice cream. Kara watched, pleased that Alex was happy. Alex raised an eyebrow at Kara's blatant staring.
"So you give me ice cream but you want it back?" Alex jokes.
"No, I just… I just like watching you. Enjoying." Kara stumbles over her words. "I like seeing you happy."
It seemed like it had been forever and seeing Alex smile at her, that soft, fond smile that was just for her, made Kara feel warm and tingly all the way to her toes. Alex handed the spoon back to Kara and the blonde, blushing, wolfed down a few spoonfuls of ice cream quickly, hoping the treat will give her the courage she needed.
"Woah, you can slow down." Alex laughed teasingly.
"Alex." Kara put the bowl down and stood up, hands flexing nervously.
"Kara?" Alex was looking up at Kara worriedly. "What's wrong?"
"I…" Kara had read about sweating. She didn't think she had the sweat glands necessary for sweating but understood the metaphor, now. She understood the feeling of nervousness, the shakiness. "I want to…"
"Kara." Alex had gotten to her feet, slapping at the back of her jeans to get rid of the dust that clung to them from sitting on the floor. "You don't have to apologize. It wasn't your fault."
"Oh, I'm not apologizing."
"What?"
"Uh," Kara floundered. "Not that… not that I'm not sorry. I really am. I didn't want to, I didn't know that-I just. I should've stayed with Kal-El."
The topic of Superman made the both of them wince. It was a topic they tried to skirt around, knowing that there were some things that they just couldn't talk about, some things they knew instinctively wasn't a topic they wanted to explore, especially since Viox grumbled enough about it.
"Kara," Alex sighed, taking Kara's hands in hers. "I'm sorry if… if I've been distant the past while. It's just with dad…"
Alex struggles with the words and smiles when Kara laces their fingers together and squeezes gently, trying to reassure Alex.
"Kara, you don't have to be sorry. None of this is your fault, I know that. It's just..." Alex starts, then stops a couple of times, trying to get the words out. She's so much better than before, before, when Kara wasn't here. Before, Alex kept her feelings inside, didn't verbalize them, didn't want to, didn't need to. But Kara needed explaining, needed answers. And Alex was willing to change, and learn, and give answers to Kara.
"None of this is your fault. It's just that dad's gone, and now things have changed and they're not good changes and mom's worried-" Alex clamped her lips shut at the look in Kara's eyes. "I'm not making this better, am I?"
Kara laughed wetly, not knowing how to reply.
"Should I… should I go? I feel like, if I wasn't here-" Kara asked meekly. Alex's reaction was immediate, pulling Kara in, holding her as tight as possible.
"No, no Kara. You don't have to go anywhere. None of this is your fault."
"But I can… I can survive by myself if-"
"You're mine." Alex said ferociously. "And I'm yours. Kara, you don't have to go anywhere else, you belong here with me."
"This is like one of those classic Kryptonian Companion epics." Viox was swooning and ruining the moment. "I will write one and be known throughout the space-traveling galaxy! Also, in my story, I will really emphasize the role that the non-biological beings play."
"Viox," Alex groaned as Kara giggled, hiding her face in the crook of Alex's neck shyly. "You are making this really awkward. And self-insertion? Seriously?"
"GREATEST. EPIC. EVER." Viox insisted, in English this time.
"Girls?" Eliza's voice rang out in the yard. "Can you come in, please?"
"Oh, dinner must be ready! We'll be right back, Viox." Kara touched Viox's hull, thanking the survival pod wordlessly. The difference in light outside the shed blinded Alex for a second but when her vision cleared, her jaw dropped in shock.
"DAD?!"
Jeremiah stood there on the back porch, grinning at the two girls. Alex broke into a run, throwing herself at her dad happily like she once did when she was much smaller. Even though she was a teenager now and a lot bigger, Jeremiah caught her effortlessly, squishing her in a bear hug.
"Jeremiah!" Kara called happily, jogging over. "You're back! I am so glad!"
Jeremiah held out a hand to her, palm out, so she could press her hand against his, before she nodded and he gathered her in a hug.
"Well, I have to come home sometimes, right?" Jeremiah smiled widely. There were dark circles under his eyes, Alex suddenly realized.
"Come on, I had dinner going and I'm sure we'll have enough for you to eat, too." The girls let go of Jeremiah, and Eliza tucked herself under his arm. He kissed the side of her head fondly, eyes crinkled in pleasure. The family, all chattering, swept into the house, the two girls talking excitedly, asking where he'd been, what he had been doing, what he had seen, and Jeremiah tried to answer as much as he can.
"Could you take a look at some of my college picks?" Alex said excitedly. "I know it's still like, years away, but Brendan and I were thinking we should probably start planning stuff out now?"
Kara stayed nearby, beaming up at Jeremiah in barely contained happiness, following beside Jeremiah as closely as possible. It was wonderful how they all kept bumping into each other, crowding around Eliza in the kitchen, getting shooed away, then having dinner together where they fought for seconds of the pie Eliza had brought out for dessert. Kara had scarfed down a couple of pieces of pie and happily accepted another helping.
"Oh, that was fantastic." Jeremiah rubbed his abdomen. "I haven't had food this good in a while!"
Eliza's smile dimmed a bit, but she shook it off, leaning over to kiss her husband on the cheek.
"Are you staying with us long?" The question was one the girls had wanted to ask but both had been too afraid to.
Jeremiah smiled apologetically, looking pained. "No. No, unfortunately not."
"Oh."
A silence fell over the table.
"Oh, come on," Jeremiah smiled winningly. "I'm going to be home more often. That's something, right?"
"Yes." Eliza nodded. This would have to do.
"Now," Jeremiah folded his napkin and put it on the table. "Alex, can you help your mom out with cleaning up? I want to talk to Kara a little bit."
Alex nodded, watching Kara go out the backyard door with Jeremiah, offering a small smile when Kara glanced back to look at Alex for reassurance. Kara walked with Jeremiah all the way to the middle of the backyard, far enough away from the house that Eliza and Alex wouldn't hear them from the kitchen.
"How are you doing recently, Kara?"
Kara gave a thumbs-up. It was something she had learned to do from Sharon's dad, Mr. Pan. Jeremiah smiled and patted Kara on the shoulder, before putting both hands in his pockets.
"I have something I need from you, Kara. I need you to do something for me." Jeremiah looked up at the sky. "And… it's difficult. I'm… I need your help. But it's something only you can help me with."
Kara's eyes studied Jeremiah's face curiously, anxious to help. What did he want? He had taken her in and there wasn't much she wouldn't do to help the Danvers.
"What can I do, Jeremiah?" Kara asked solemnly.
Jeremiah looked over at the shed, his shoulders slumping. "I'm… I'm not enough."
"What do you mean?"
"They want to see more. My research and my knowledge is worth a lot, but they want more than what I have. They want alien technology." Jeremiah struggled to get the words out, trying to give as little away as possible. "They're coming for your ship."
"What?" Kara was... not understanding.
"You have to let me take your ship. This will help keep you-keep our family safe." Jeremiah seemed to become more confident as he spoke, finally looking at Kara. "I know this is the last thing you have, but it's just a ship-"
"It's not just a ship." Kara's arms were tight against her side, hands clenched into fists. "Jeremiah… I can't. You can't take Viox away-"
"All I need is the ship," Jeremiah said soothingly, hands on her shoulders now, trying to sooth her but doing the opposite with his touch. "Just the ship, Kara. Superman's told me about his ship and I expect that yours is similar. Kara, help me."
Kara walked away from Jeremiah, unsure of how to react, how she should react-how she WOULD react. Kara escaped to the shed, closing the door behind her and putting a foot against the bottom of the door to prevent Jeremiah from following her.
"Kara." Jeremiah's voice came through the door. "Kara, I'm sorry. I tried to find another way. But I came back to tell you, because they'll come for it. You have to let them take it-"
"Who are they?" Kara called back, frustrated. "Why should I let them do anything-"
"They just need an excuse." Jeremiah replied softly. "Any excuse to come down hard on all of us. Kara… Kara, please."
Kara stayed inside the shed, listening as Jeremiah stayed there on the other side for what felt like forever, then listening to him walk back to the house, heard him open and close the door. With Jeremiah gone, she turned and slumped against the door, her mind racing.
"Lady Kara?" Viox's voice, in Kara's native Kryptonian, soothed her slightly. "Are you well?"
"Did you hear, Viox?" Kara threaded her fingers through her hair, grabbing handfuls and pulling. Just pulling and hoping that sensation would dull the emotions she was feeling. "Viox, I cannot lose you, too."
Viox glowed, casting a soft light around the little shed.
"But we know what is the best way. You don't even have to be an extremely intelligent AI, like me, to know that." Viox said gently. It was a survival AI. It's directive was given by Alura, a lot of it's methods programmed in him by Astra. Between the two twins, Viox had an impressive amount of patience. And it was an AI, what was time to it, anyways? Viox was thinking ahead, planning out it's movements just like it planned while in stasis in the Phantom Zone, caring for it's precious charge. Viox knew what was necessary and what was not necessary for survival. It also knew what was necessary for thriving, for growing… and Viox was just a survival pod. It's main directive, to keep Kara alive in their exodus from Krypton, to send her after her cousin, had been fulfilled. Viox's new directive, ensuring Kara's happiness, was paramount. Kara would be sad at first, but she was in good hands and Kara would be able to integrate more with a human family.
"No, Viox-"
"This option will be the easiest. I, with my great intellect, have surmised that this is the best course of action. And it will give me the ability to strike at the heart of the enemy should I need to." Viox's answer produced a weak laugh from Kara.
"Mother regretted lending you to Aunt Astra for the longest time. She said Aunt Astra was a bad influence on you." Kara smiled tremulously at the egg-shaped pod. "But you are perfect just the way you are, Viox."
Kara could hear the backyard door open and someone walking quickly to the shed. That person's heartbeat told Kara exactly who it was. Kara got up and flung the door open, Alex's one hand already reaching out to encircle Kara's waist and the other to close the door behind her.
"Viox, you can just hide-" Alex started to say immediately.
"It's already been decided. I will go because it will be best for everyone. And maybe this will help Jeremiah Danvers."
"You can't. We'll-we'll run away together!" Alex threw out. "We can just go! You can't do this!"
"I am not a 'robot' with basic computing powers. I can do whatever I want." Viox scoffed. "I was given this prime directive and accepted all that it would entail. Over time, my directive evolved, and I am very concerned with Lady Kara's happiness. That being said, I think that this is a very good place for her to stay and thrive. I am not necessary for her further survival and if taking me hostage would help, I am more than willing to go."
A heavy silence fell on all of them. What more was there to say? The silence was broken as Kara started humming. It was a curious sound, not quite humming, two toned in nature, the music was otherworldly. As Kara hummed, she added words, Alex struggled to make sense of them. She could tell that they were Kryptonian, but was it… a different dialect? Alex wasn't sure, but she held on to Kara as she sang and Viox glowed softly. Alex didn't understand, but for some reason, she could feel something like pride radiating from Viox.
At the end of the song, Kara stepped forward and placed a hand on Viox's hull.
"Viox of the House of El. Until we meet again."
"Lady Kara. I look forward to our next meeting." Viox hummed. There was a knocking on the door again, and this time, Eliza slipped in, smiling kindly at Kara.
"Kara. We'll do whatever you want. If you don't want to give up your ship, we understand." Eliza said soothingly. "We can deal with anything. I told Jeremiah-"
"No. It's fine." Kara nodded jerkily. "Viox made the decision to go and I will respect it's wishes."
"It… is it alive?" Eliza stared at the spaceship in awe, now. She had no interactions with Viox at all and the ship, for some reason, never talked to the doctors Danvers.
"As alive as you and me."
Eliza wanted to ask more questions but shook herself out of it, urgency back in her voice as she held out a hand.
"Come on, Kara. We're going to go for a drive. Maybe down to the beach for a bit." Eliza tried to keep her voice as light and as comforting as possible.
Kara let her hand fall off the hull of the ship. One last glance, and she left with Eliza, trying for a smile, but she looked… broken. Kara looked back once, before disappearing with Eliza out the door. Only Alex was left now, and she reached out to touch Viox's glowing body.
"She sang me the song meant to honour warriors departing for battle. When General Astra left on a mission with me, I heard it once, sung by members of the Military Guild." Viox hummed. "I think the phrase, 'deeply touched' applies. I am deeply touched. Lady Kara honours me."
"It was a beautiful song."
Viox hummed, then his body dimmed. "I will be going into hibernation, Alex. There will be no way that the humans will be able to extract any information from me. I have already locked everything away and downloaded the release protocol into a key."
"What key, Viox?"
Viox's glow continued dimming, his voice softened. "I've made it so no-one will be able to make sense of anything without the key. In case they have some other AI capable of hacking into me. Or a Coluan. I always hate interacting with those minds."
"Viox-"
"Promise me you will take care of Lady Kara, Alex." Viox's glow dimmed even further, almost all dark. "Promise me."
"I promise." Alex pressed both hands against Viox's hull, watching the light die. Alex tapped against Viox's body lightly, waiting for that dry, sardonic voice. When there was no reply, Alex couldn't hold back the sob that had pushed past the lump in her throat. "I promise. Do you hear me, Viox? I promise I'll watch her."
With her hands pressed against Viox, she heard the door opening behind her. Alex wiped roughly at her face, turning back to look at her dad, her eyes accusing.
"Alex." Jeremiah's eyes was regretful. "You have to trust me. I'm protecting Superman and Kara the only way I know how."
"How is this helping if it hurts her?" Alex asks hoarsely.
Jeremiah shook his head, his face drawn and tired. "We all make choices like the ones I'm making. I hope you never have to feel the way I feel or make decisions like the ones I'm making right now. But that's not how the world works. And one day, Alex, you'll understand."
Alex fled, speed-walking away, her mother catching her at the back porch and hustling her through the house, into the family car. They pulled away and drove, passing three black SUVs with tinted windows, speeding towards their house, followed by a mid-sized moving truck. Alex didn't say anything and didn't complain at how tight Kara's grip on her hand was, trying only to return that pressure and remind Kara that she still had her, still had Alex. And Alex would never let anyone take her away from Kara.