Author's Notes: Hi again everyone! I'm just really really glad to thank everyone that has read, followed, faved and reviewed my fic so far. I will occasionally reply to some of the reviews and it really makes me happy to see all the support and love that this fic has received so far. So, it took me around 3 weeks to actually finish Chapter 2 and it's been a bit hard but I hope this would be to your liking as well...

Again, there's going to be a lot of spoilers throughout the chapter, so I'd suggest getting through the manga if you haven't already. This chapter is mostly set during the events of Chapter 437 to 447, the start of the Alvarez Arc.

So without further ado, we continue on with our story!

You think it's easy?

You think I don't want to run to you

She was full of doubt and insecurities. She has always had them but as the weeks flew by, she was sure that they were more prominent than ever in her own mind. And it wasn't like she wanted to have them or was constantly bringing them to the forefront of her mind. No, it was just there whenever she would look at her guildmates. At her team. At Natsu. With all the doubts that rested within her, Lucy Heartfilia could only be sure of one thing right at this moment. She didn't trust her guild as much as she did before. Lucy did not trust Natsu as much as she used to.

Lucy knew for herself that this was not for lack of trying however. And it wasn't like she didn't want to trust them either. It was really just that she could not seem to give her complete faith in them anymore. Not like she used to. She wanted to though. Fairy Tail was – is – her guild after all. And Natsu was – is – her partner. But whenever she looks at them – anyone from Fairy Tail really, there's this small nagging whisper that would make her doubt them and herself. Lucy was really starting to understand that it was easy to forgive but not so easy to forget.

There wasn't anything to forgive though. Lucy knew that. She knew it in her heart and in her mind. It still hurt though. It didn't matter that she understood. It still hurt.

She liked to think that she hid it well though. Hid the truth that it still hurts thinking of what happened a year ago. It was easier since it was only Team Natsu and Mest that was on a ten-day journey to Alvarez. In a few hours they'd be reaching Caracol Island so everyone was mostly keeping to themselves to immerse in battle and infiltration plans. Lucy tried to immerse herself in plans. But seeing – being with Team Natsu made her immerse in memories.

A year ago, Natsu and Happy had left first, leaving her nothing but a letter and memories. It took her by complete surprise and she ran in a futile attempt to chase them back then. It hurt then because she had just lost Aquarius and haven't even been able to talk to anyone about it yet. And Natsu and Happy had left her. She understood, he lost his father. And maybe it was selfish, but she didn't really care then with all the pain and betrayal that she felt, but what about her? She lost Aquarius – the closest thing to a mother that she had after Layla Heartfilia had passed on. And since Natsu and Happy had left, she also lost her partners. The next day, she lost her guild. The rest of her family. It was selfish to wish that they would stay, Lucy knew.

But it didn't stop her from hoping. And she didn't stop any of them from leaving.

Lucy had waved and said her goodbyes as guildmate after guildmate left. She wished them well and hugged each of them before they left Magnolia. She smiled as she watched them leave to follow their own paths. She smiled even as her heart was breaking each time a member left and she lost another part of her family. And yet, she smiled, because she understood. She understood that they needed to leave.

It didn't lessen the pain at all.

It took her everything to continue with her life. Took her everything to move on. And even then, it hadn't been enough. Nowhere near enough.

And so, when Natsu and Happy came back, Lucy had been stilled by the resurgence of memories and emotions that she had chosen to attempt to bury with mountains of work and training. There was so much that she couldn't even process all of them fully. It was a whirlwind since Natsu's return but there was one thing that happened that really managed to shake her down to the core and send her world into disarray – Natsu's confession.

But there are mountains

And there are doors that we can't walk through

Natsu was acting weird. That much Lucy was sure of as she watched him get lost in his thoughts for the umpteenth time that day. It wasn't like it was a bad thing that Natsu gets lost in thought, it was just that it happened so many times already that Lucy was beginning to wonder if this was one of the many changes that befell the dragonslayer during the year they were apart. It took her a while to notice this actually happening though and she could readily admit that the fault was on her part. It was hard to look at Natsu after all.

Ever since Natsu and Happy's return, Lucy found that going back to the old routine was difficult. Actually, it was more than difficult. It was painful. It was really awkward at first, seeing them after being released and treating them to food. Even spending time with them in her house had been a bit awkward and tiring. She was glad they were back. But, that was it.

She didn't know where to go from there. It wasn't like one of those cliché stories that they just got back into their old rhythm and swing of things. No, it was more of Lucy knew she was glad that they returned, but she didn't exactly feel it. Every smile and laugh was just a tiny bit forced and every tale she told was laced with a bit of hesitation.

It was like she was trying to get them back in her life, but she didn't know how. She didn't know where they fit anymore. And it bothered her. Greatly. Because if she didn't know how to be with Natsu – one of the people closest to her in Fairy Tail – then how did she know that she could handle the rest of the guild. Assuming that they even got the guild back together.

Lucy was slapped back to reality. The thought was like ice cold water being splashed into her very being. Where had that thought even come from? They were getting the guild back together with Natsu, right? Right?

The Celestial Mage was stupefied with the realization that she wasn't sure. That she had doubts.

Lucy shook the thoughts out of her head and turned her attention back to Natsu sitting across from her, the campfire in between them. He was still lost in his own thoughts apparently. She cleared her throat hoping that this would snap the pinkette back to reality. "Natsu, are you sure you're alright? You've been spacing out an awful lot today," she asked softly as to not wake the sleeping Happy. It took a while for his reply. "I love you, Luce."

Laughter was the immediate response she could think of to hide her shock, nervousness and fear. Why was she nervous? Or afraid? She didn't know. She couldn't think of anything to say. "I love you too, silly dragon," was what flew out from her lips but "Lies, lies, lies," was the mantra of thought in her head. "Gosh, I didn't think you'd miss me that much. Gonna tell Gray that too when we find him?" was her sad attempt at teasing.

She didn't understand what was happening. What he was saying. Why he was doing this.

"No Luce. I mean I love you. Just you. I love you."

There was no hint of humor in his eyes. Only dead certainty. And her own attempts at humor faltered and dispersed completely, leaving only the true emotions that were boiling within her.

Surprise and confusion were at the forefront of her very being. She couldn't for the life of her figure out where this had come from. It wasn't a joke, it wasn't familial love, it wasn't even a love for friends that Natsu held for her. He loved her. Romantically. "How could he say that? After all this time?" was the thought that ran through her head. How could he tell her he loved her when he left her? She had been left in the dark for a year when it concerned his whereabouts, his well-being. And now, he was telling her that he loves her? Was he even sure that he loved her? Was he even sure that he knew her still? Or was it the old Lucy that he loves? She wasn't even sure if he was still the same Natsu –

"I'm sorry. I need to go. You should sleep, I'll go take watch around the woods," she uttered, a certain tightness in her voice as she struggled to speak and abruptly left camp to head into the direction of the woods. Her stride was full of purpose, her fists clenched at her side, her lips formed a tight line, but her eyes. Her eyes were misted, struggling to keep her vision clear as memories flooded her from every crevice of her mind. She walked until she felt safe enough. Safe away from Natsu. Safe enough to let the tears fall.

Every bit of repressed tears of the past year came flowing. She hadn't cried since the night Natsu had left. She had struggled to forget all of these emotions that flooded her now. But with the memories, it was getting harder to ignore them.

Why did he have to tell her he loved her? Why now?

Lucy cried for all the pain that she felt right at that moment. For all the pain that she repressed and ignored in the year that he had gone.

She cried because she just wasn't the same anymore.

She cried because she loved him too.

She cried because she never really stopped loving him.

But she could no longer bring herself to trust him to hold her heart.

I know you're wondering why

Because we're able to be

Time flew by quickly since Natsu's confession and Lucy's own revelation. Or at least that's what she thought. Everything was a blur between finding Wendy and the battle against Avatar. Every event seemed like being dumped cold water though in the Celestial Mage's own perspective. Wendy's initial refusal to leave Lamia Scale and Gray's "betrayal" that is.

It was a little irrational, Lucy knew, but she couldn't help but think over the events sometimes. What if Wendy really did want to stay in Lamia Scale? What if Gray really did become corrupt? It wasn't like she actually communicated with anyone in the past year. And what if they really were getting ahead of themselves in this attempt to bring back the guild? The ones that they had managed to meet up with had been ecstatic about it. But what about the other ones? It's not like she received any replies, after all. Even if what she sent was just a vague letter telling everyone to meet at Magnolia and spread the word of Fairy Tail's revival.

That had been all Lucy could do before they set off for Magnolia. The rest was up to them. But what if they didn't want to come back? Thoughts like this continued to plague the blonde mage as they walked through the streets of Magnolia.

It was hard to be back. What if the others thought so as well?

Lucy was almost – no – she was afraid to continue walking towards the guild. Her steps faltered and halted. There were so many memories in this town but what was flooding her was the day that Master Makarov disbanded the guild. What was flooding her were memories of the guild members – her family – leaving to follow their own paths as each day passed until she was the only one left in Magnolia. And then she too, left.

She didn't think that she ever really left Magnolia though. Not in the way that mattered. She never really moved on. Lucy was stuck in the past and it was making her scared. Call her a coward, but about this, she wouldn't care. She would even admit it. And she did.

She confessed her fears. Even just a small portion of them. She confessed them to Wendy and Carla and Happy. She confessed them to Natsu. That she was scared to go on further. That what if they can't revive Fairy Tail. That maybe they won't be able to get everyone back together.

Then, Cana was there. It was a sight that Lucy had to process for moments. Cana was there and Lucy had remembered how angry and devastated the woman was a year ago on the day she had set off to find her father. And yet, here she was. Smiling and drinking and grinning and healed. Cana had moved on and yet she came back.

"Come on! They're all waiting!" the Card Mage yelled right as Lucy felt herself getting pulled. "All?" the blonde asked, her thoughts in chaos and screaming. That maybe, just maybe, everybody else came back.

Lucy ran as she was dragged by Cana. She was almost afraid to look but she didn't turn away from the approaching sight. She didn't dare look away until they stopped, and she just stood there. She just stood and looked at everyone.

Because they were all there. She wasn't looking at an empty space in front of the rubble that was once their guild hall anymore. She wasn't imagining them. She wasn't looking at them waving and walking off to find their own paths. She was looking at them after they did and they still came back – because Fairy Tail is still home.

Lucy could feel herself shaking, trembling with the sheer amount of force that was flooding her because of all these emotions and memories. She found every face to be a punch in the gut or maybe a grip on her throat as she struggled to control the flood before she was completely overwhelmed. But Mira, sweet and gentle Mirajane with her warmth, smiled.

"Welcome back!"

The tears fell before she could stop them. Everything hurt. She was struggling. She still couldn't forget. She still hasn't moved on. She wasn't the same anymore. Her own insecurities remain and she doesn't trust everyone as she once did. "I'm home…"

Everyone's together. It wasn't anything special because Fairy Tail was probably always meant to rise again as it always did. But Lucy was still so overwhelmed with emotions – happiness and lingering pain – that her chest hurt and she could only sob "I'm home!" and hold on to Mira for dear life.

But as she looked to the tattered banner of her guild standing proud through tear-filled eyes. As she watched the tattered remains of the banner flowing with the wind, Lucy thinks that she has come home. That maybe, she will also start to heal and move on and trust again.

That maybe, everything will be okay.

Just you and me within these walls

But when we go outside

Lucy shook her head to rid herself of the memories that plagued her. It doesn't do any good to dwell in such thoughts right now. After all, they were on a mission to rescue Master Makarov in a country full of danger. The blonde mage sighs as she stood from where she sat on the deck and strode over to the edge, waiting for the island of Caracol to come into view.

It was only Gray, Erza and Mest on deck with her. Natsu and Wendy were resting below deck with their exceeds to help take care of them while they suffered from motion sickness. Although it was a mean thought, Lucy thanked Mavis for small favors.

Her interactions with everyone was limited due to the rebuilding of the guild and right after that was this sudden mission to Alvarez so it was no wonder that it seemed like she was interacting with everyone normally. She wasn't though.

Lucy smiled and joked around with everybody, but at times, it was just a little bit forced.

Joking around with Gray felt a little awkward and Lucy struggled to hide how she was forcing her laugh or how she would think that he might suddenly disappear if a whisper of END was heard.

Planning with Erza was just a little harder but Lucy continued to put forth some ideas as she did in the past, it was hard not to think though if Erza had secret battle plans that the team was not privy to. And so, Lucy made her own just in case.

Casual talk with Wendy was a tiny bit forced when Lucy would wonder if the Sky Dragonslayer ever regretted leaving Chelia and Lamia Scale behind.

Mest, basically, she ignored most of the time, it wasn't hard – they didn't really know each other except in passing.

Natsu was the hardest. Lucy never let herself be alone with the dragonslayer since the night he confessed. Well, except for that one time that they were heading to the guild to help with the rebuilding. "I won't give up Luce. Not until you give me a chance," was what he said whilst they walked. Lucy pretended not to hear and quickly set off to work. They hadn't talked about anything related to the confession since.

Lucy was once more snapped away from her thoughts when the captain of their ship announced Caracol Island. The blonde mage squinted as she tried to make out the looming figures on the island's harbor which turned out to be military ships. She bit her lip in trepidation as everyone tried to find out why the military was present, only for Natsu and Wendy to show up on deck – seemingly like they dragged themselves to get there – to tell them that the military was looking for a spy. More specifically, it was likely their spy.

Of course, this led to the rest of the ride being used to plan how they were going to get into the island without getting caught. Pros and cons were weighed until they could come up with a feasible enough plan that could get them past the guards.

Surely, they could pass of as tourists, right? Just a couple of mages going on a little vacation.

Yeah right. Who the hell was she kidding?

You're gonna wake up and see

That it was hopeless after all

Everything pretty much went to shit not even five minutes since they got on the island. Lucy expected that really. Having Natsu and Gray together on a team together pretty much dashed away any chances of going undercover successfully. And it's not like any of them would just stand around and watch a couple of bullies threatening a child.

So yep, getting in had been the easy part. Setting off any alarms was the one they were guaranteed to fail. Fighting off military, aka today's bad guys, that one they would likely have some success. It had been pretty easy, if Lucy was really honest with herself. Between the guild brawls and this, well, guild brawls were just a tad bit nastier and messier.

It was too easy. Until someone blew up the star mango shack that is.

Lucy should have known that when Erza couldn't use her magic, something was already wrong. Very wrong. Someone strong enough to block Erza's sheer amount of magic would undeniably be a fearsome opponent. And she really should have already thought that if Erza couldn't use her magic, then surely, she would fail as well.

She didn't think it would harm her to try. "Open! Gate of the Archer!" She was wrong.

Her body was tingling, raising goosebumps on every surface of her skin, and when she looked, Lucy could see her body vanishing. The tingles were unpleasant. It felt like she was being violated in every crevice of her body. She tried to ignore the feeling, tried to will herself to stop vanishing. But her magic was unreachable.

Next thing she knew, she wasn't at Caracol Island anymore. Lucy was quick to survey her surroundings as she stood in the middle of a room, Erza was nowhere in sight.

The room had no doors. No windows. Just four walls, the ceiling and the floor, colored by random patterns of blue and green and black like it was one big colorful zebra. There was a white mattress on the floor and beside it was an oak dresser beside it, sealed so tightly that Lucy could only imagine and fear what was inside. Both items were such stark contrasts to the room itself that the sight in itself was creepy. She tried her magic once more, she could feel it residing in her in gentle waves, but untouchable.

There was no way of escape. She was at the mercy of the creepy guy that attacked them.

Lucy sat herself on the floor, as far away from the dresser and the mattress as possible. She hugged her legs and buried her head between her chest and her knees as she closed her eyes, waiting. There was nothing else she could do but wait. She was useless. Again.

She knew she shouldn't let this get her down. She was stronger now. She trained long and hard in the past year. Even Erza wasn't able to use her magic. She knew she shouldn't let this get to her but damn it! She'd been trying to get stronger, so they wouldn't have to save her ass all the damn time.

And yet, here she was. Trapped in who knows where by a creeper and she won't be able to do a damn thing about it. She could fight him off when he arrives, but even if she took him by surprise, she wouldn't last long in a fistfight. If she would even be able to last at all.

Everyone's changed and gotten stronger. Lucy felt that. She thinks she's changed too. Because she wasn't that same girl they left in Magnolia anymore. But somehow, it also felt like nothing's changed – and not in a good way. Because she was still useless and weak. She can tell herself over and over again that she's gotten stronger or put off a brave front. But that is all it'll ever be. A front.

Like every other damn time, she can't stand on even ground with her teammates. Like every other damn time, she needed someone – or everyone – to save her damn ass.

Self-destructing thoughts were continuous until Lucy felt the shift in her surroundings. The feeling more unpleasant than earlier. While the earlier one had been tingles of being violated, this one was like a constant drain. A drain on her magic and her consciousness even though she could feel that her magic containers were unchanging in their levels. The drain continued until she could no longer hold herself upright and she felt herself falling.

The next thing Lucy knew was pain and sand. And an overwhelming magic power. Lucy could only watch, stupefied into silence by everything that was continuing to unfold. The Alvarez Empire was on to them and they could barely stand against one of their wizards.

She had felt powerless before, but Lucy had never felt so overwhelmingly small in her whole life than she did floating in the ocean whilst the woman stood on the rock that was once the island of Caracol.

No one can rewrite the stars

How can you say you'll be mine?

They were stopping for the night. Apparently, the temple could only be powered by Angel thanks to her actual magic and since the Alvarez Kingdom was about a five-day boat ride from Caracol, Lucy could say that they were making good time. Not that she could really tell since they were under the ocean. That was probably another reason they were stopping for the night. Even between Erza's wits and Mest's past as a Rune Knight, it was only Angel that actually knew how to navigate underneath the ocean.

Thus, how they found themselves in different rooms within the temple to get some rest. Angel estimated another day and half before they can get to Alvarez. Until then, they had time to recuperate and strategize. In Lucy's case, gather herself mentally for the upcoming fight.

The events in Caracol Island had been a severe wakeup call for the blonde. They were severely overpowered. They couldn't even defeat a lackey, let alone one of the Spriggan 12. Hell, Lucy couldn't even do a thing! And it stung. It stung her pride and self-esteem. How could she help save the Master if she couldn't even do a thing? Why was she even there?

Lucy was snapped away from her reverie when she heard a series of taps. Looking at the doorway, the Celestial Mage could make out the Fire Dragonslayer standing outside her "room".

The place in the temple that Lucy had commandeered was just like any vacant room in the temple. It had four walls made of bricks and a single doorway which let anyone come and go as they pleased. Her bedroll was laid out on the far side of the room facing the doorway and the rest of her stuff was placed right beside it.

It was on the bedroll where Lucy was sitting when Natsu had arrived.

"Natsu," she managed a small, if not slightly awkward smile at the salmon-haired mage.

"Lucy," Natsu said, barely looking at her, his hand scratching the back of his head as if unsure of himself. "Can we talk?"

That was the last thing she wanted if she was really honest, but perhaps they needed this. There was so much friction in their team that Lucy feared it could cost them the mission. That it could cost them all of their lives. "Sure Natsu. Come on in."

The dragonslayer was uncomfortable. That much Lucy could see as Natsu situated himself in the room, sitting on her bedroll and facing her. He looked at her and his eyes were filled with so much intensity that Lucy didn't know what to do with herself. Neither of them spoke for a while. Both of them unsure of where to go from the point that Natsu was allowed inside to talk.

"Luce. What happened at Caracol, it… I was scared. Really scared," Natsu whispered, and yet it seemed so loud in Lucy's ears. She could understand though, she was too, but she really didn't get where Natsu was going with this. That and it was weird in itself that he was actually admitting to being afraid. "I know. I was too. Their magic is nothing like I've seen before. Especially that woman."

Natsu shook his head. "No Luce. I wasn't scared because of that crazy lady," Lucy's eyebrows furrowed at that. Then - … "I was scared 'cause I thought you'd disappeared. For good this time. And I couldn't do a thing. Again. There wasn't any Michelle or Future Lucy to save you this time. And I couldn't protect you. And you were vanishing, and I couldn't do a thing."

Lucy could see that Natsu was shaking. She was too. However, Natsu was shaking from fear apparently. She was shaking with fury of being reminded of her own failures. Of her own incapability and utter uselessness. She clenched her fist. "Do you think so little of me that I need protecting? Do you think I'm that weak?" she asked, looking down so as to not look at the dragonslayer's eyes.

Natsu shook his head, a sorrowful smile on his face that didn't really fit with her image of him. "I know better than anyone just how strong you are. But can you really blame me for wanting to protect the woman I love?"

Lucy bit her lip at his easy declaration. "How can you say that?" her voice was strained as she closed her eyes and struggled to contain her emotions. How could he so casually say that he loved her after everything?

"Because I do, Luce," Natsu sighed. "We're mages, Luce. A normal day is dangerous, a bad day is a downright near-death experience, and on our worst, someone could die. I want to be with you as much as I can, I want to be able to protect you. I don't want to give up. I can't handle you disappearing ever again Luce," he said with as much gentleness that she didn't know he had. Or maybe she did and had just forgotten.

But this was too much. Lucy didn't want this, her eyes squeezing shut. She didn't know how to handle this.

"I know you're still mad at me and I really am sorry for leaving you Lucy," Natsu reached for her shaking fist. Her eyes opened and met Natsu's. Lucy pulled away as if she'd been burned.

A look of pure pain crossed Natsu features as he pulled his hand back. "Why won't you give me a chance Luce?"

"Because I don't know if I can trust you again," she whispered, and she heard Natsu's breath still in the silent room. "I don't know if I can trust you or Happy or Gray or Erza or anyone in the guild," she inhaled through her nose, trying to steady her breathing. Hoping that it would somehow calm her raging emotions.

"I understand you know. I know just how much everyone lost that day. I know just how much everyone needed to be stronger or how much they needed to move on. I know that. And maybe it's selfish to ask, but do you know how much I lost?" she saw him flinch, saw him begin to think – try to recall. But he won't because there is nothing to recall. She hadn't told anyone, hadn't had the chance to because they all left. "I lost everything."

It was at this point that Lucy let the tears flow until she could no longer contain the sobs. "You had Happy. Gray had Juvia. Wendy had Carla. Gajeel had Lily and Levy. Hell, even Erza had Jellal and the Seis! What the hell did I have? A fucking note telling me to take care of the damn guild, that's what! A guild with nothing but memories and rubble!"

That and a broken key.

But she wasn't going to tell him that. Not about Aquarius. It still hurt too much. She couldn't even talk to any of her spirits about it yet.

Apparently, everything still hurt too much. Aquarius. The guild. Natsu. Her own weakness. Everything was a blow. She hadn't moved on. Not by an inch. She couldn't by herself. And she couldn't when she could barely trust a soul in her reformed guild.

Everything keeps us apart

And I'm not the one you were meant to find

Lucy Heartfilia was one big gaping wound. One that was still open and bleeding. Natsu Dragneel could see that now. And so, he inched closer and closer at the sobbing blonde until he could encase her in his arms. She fought him off with weak pounds at his chest and feeble flails of her legs. But Natsu held on because he feared that letting go would only worsen the wound.

Seconds became minutes. Minutes became hours. Natsu didn't know how long until her sobs turned into evened breaths of slumber, but he continued to hold her as he laid her on her bedroll. He held her until morning came and he had to stagger out of the room as the temple was set into motion.

The following night, he sneaked in while she slept and held her again until morning.

Lucy had half an ear on the plans for rescuing Master Makarov when it was being discussed back at the temple. It's not like they had much plans to begin with anyways since there was not much any of them could do with regards to this.

Basically, Mest was going to teleport them out of the temple and to Alvarez soil, they were going to then travel all the way to the outskirts of Vistarion, the capital of Alvarez. From there, Mest was going to teleport to Makarov then back to them and then they'll head back to the temple the way they came.

Easy.

Until something goes wrong. Which was basically bound to happen. It was a solid plan though.

Basically, nothing had happened yet, and they were already well on their way to Vistarion. They were already nearing the outskirts and would just have to find a place that would be secure enough for Team Natsu to hide and Mest to teleport out of and come back to.

Everyone was travelling in silence due to the dangerous nature of their mission, which basically led to Lucy's wandering thoughts. She's been having much of that lately it seemed. Today's thoughts were of the salmon-haired dragonslayer that sneaked into her bedroll last night.

Of course, she knew. She wasn't a light sleeper, but she wasn't that heavy of a sleeper either. And so, at some point the night before, she did wake up and was quite surprised to find a warm body encasing hers. She had half a mind to kick him out. But… She didn't.

Being in Natsu's arms felt so wrong. But it felt so right at the same time. It was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Her love for him and her utter fear to trust him. It was so conflicting. So contradicting to be having such feelings.

She shook her head, as if doing so would shut off her thoughts. Shut off her emotions. "You alright, Lucy?" a half-naked Gray spoke beside her. "Hmm. Yeah, just thinking about where we should stop," she lied with a small smile and the Ice Mage dropped the issue because Mest spoke up. "Here's near enough," and the magic vehicle screeched to a halt.

They all got off the vehicle and walked to the cover of more trees in order to wait just as they had planned hours ago.

One moment, Mest was standing there with them. The next, Lucy was staring at an empty space. Not more than three minutes later, he returned. Master Makarov in his arms. The short-lived joy was replaced by shock and fear.

"Zeref! Zeref was there!" Mest had yelled in between panting breaths. Lucy stilled, trying to digest this information all at once but was stopped as Makarov began to speak.

Began to shake. Began to cry.

This was the man that caused her family to leave. The man that disbanded Fairy Tail.

Out of love of his children. To protect his children.

Lucy couldn't see the proud and angry man that disbanded her guild.

All she could see was a tired, old man that had been giving his all in a dangerous land far away from home. Far away from his children.

She heard all of Makarov's reasons from Mest. She'd known it when they travelled to Alvarez. But her anger and distrust of the old man stemming from the disbandment had been clouding her judgment. It had been one thing to hear his reasons.

It was a whole other thing to see it with her own eyes.

How broken he had become. How sad. How regretful. How tired.

Lucy could not bring herself to hate this man. This man that had become the grandfather she never had. The one that guided her through her time in Fairy Tail.

Lucy loved Fairy Tail. She still does. But as she looks at Master Makarov in tears and being pulled up by Natsu, Lucy realizes that Makarov loves Fairy Tail more than Lucy ever did and more than she ever will.

She thinks she feels some of her pain and anger ebb away.

It's not up to you, it's not up to me

When everyone tells us what we can be

The small piece of joy that Lucy had gained with a small part of her soul being healed was cut abruptly by a large amount of magic that arrived in their small area. The sheer amount of magic alone was comparable to the woman's they had seen in Caracol.

Another member of the Spriggan 12.

They retreated with haste. And for good reason. A man that could find them in no more than five minutes and with magic containers rivaling a woman that could shrink a whole island was a very dangerous foe. The speed at which Erza drove the vehicle despite the large toll it would surely take from her was a serious sign of the urgency of the matter.

And yet that man had no trouble keeping up. "Lucy! Let's hold him off!" Gray growled and Lucy could only agree. There was no time for hesitation as she climbed up to the roof of the vehicle. There was no time for hesitation because there was no one else that could fight.

Erza was driving. Mest, Carla and Happy didn't have magic useful enough for combat at this degree. Natsu and Wendy were incapacitated by motion sickness. Master's magic was not fit for a moving vehicle. Only she and Gray could do this.

"Star Dress… Sagittarius Form!" Lucy could feel the magic enveloping her, changing her senses and equipping her with a weapon. A bow and arrow befitting the constellation of the Archer. Beside her, she could feel Gray changing as well – the air surrounding him getting colder and on the underlying surface of his aura was a hint of darkness. Barely there but still existing due to his Demon Slaying Magic.

And true to his growth, in the blink of an eye, hectares upon hectares of soil and trees and sand was encased in ice. And yet that man still escaped and continued to chase them, sending hordes of sand monsters their way. "Leave them to me!"

Lucy aimed, cataloging all the monsters she could see. And with a burst of magic, she released the arrow that multiplied as it was released from the bow. "Star Shot!" Each one had found their mark. It continued for a while. A small while. Gray freezing the sand monsters with her shooting the others. Until the man disappeared. And they found themselves sinking.

In a pit of sand.

The man was despicable. Lucy could understand that much as she was sinking in the sand. She was reaching, reaching for her magic, but it wouldn't do anything that could actually help her – help everyone get out of the sand.

"You're not even in my league, you pathetic little bugs! Even the gods have abandoned the land of Ishgal!" the man cackled and it angered Lucy. It angered Lucy that he was right. That she wasn't in his league, nowhere at all near it, but damn it all, she was going to fight for her guild.

The next thing Lucy knew was warmth. A familiar warmth. Burning but never hurting. Burning the transformation magic that hid her guild mark.

Lucy looked to the source of that warmth. To the dragonslayer standing tall and proud. And nothing else but this fight and her pride as a Fairy Tail mage mattered. Because no matter how hurt she'd been because of the guild, she still loved it. Fairy Tail was – is her family. And family forgives and protects – and trusts.

She's still a long way from erasing that fear of trusting again, but as Lucy watches Natsu punch that sand guy, she thinks that being abandoned by the gods is not such a bad thing.

As long as Fairy Tail stands strong.

How can we rewrite the stars,

Say that the world can be ours, tonight?

Alright, maybe it was a little disconcerting to find that the man had actually liked being punched by Natsu. Still, Lucy found that it was quite nice to be standing with her guildmates – with her team – again. It was giving her more courage to actually stand despite her quaking knees and shaking hands.

After all, the power they were facing was more than anything they had ever faced in the past. And it was showing. Because with this man, it was one surprise followed by the next.

First, it was a sand pit. Now, the sand was just swirling and sucking them in. And before they even had time to realize it, they were in the palm of Master Makarov's hands. Literally.

"You are not going to touch my kids!" the booming voice of the master was all Lucy could hear even with the shouting coming from Natsu. It was the sheer determination and force and love that was in the Makarov's voice that shook Lucy down to her very core. She could feel him sweating from the heat and maybe, Lucy thinks, because he is afraid.

Lucy doesn't think any less of him. Because she was afraid too.

She couldn't see what was happening outside. She could only hear – and she couldn't even hear everything. But she could hear the rumble of the earth. And with the master not moving, she thinks it's a bad sign.

"Now… swallow … Sands … Death!" were the garbled words Lucy could make out from where they were situated. And she fears. Fears for the Master because she understood.

Understood his desire to protect. Because she had the same desire last year when everyone else was trapped. The desire to protect even at the cost of one's life.

Lucy thinks she's screaming, but she wasn't. She thinks she's crying. Maybe she is. All she could process was that Master was about to sacrifice his life for them. For her.

And she could also die. They could all die.

But mostly, she realizes, and she regrets.

She realizes it hurts. The past hurts. Moving on hurts. Betrayal hurts. Abandonment hurts. But nothing hurt more than regret. And she realizes that has a lot of regrets.

"I'm going to protect you all no matter what it takes! I promise." Lucy could feel her tears as she held on to the Master's calloused palms, pleading for him to run. So, he could survive. Because she can't lose another one. Not when she had barely begun to heal.

She regrets fearing to trust because of the past. She regrets doubting those she held dearest. She regrets letting fear control her.

"Master! Run away!" Lucy remembers screaming. So much screaming. And the crash of deafening thunder. Laxus.

Lucy remembers tears when she hears the voices of her guildmates. Remembers feeling so relieved that they were saved. Remembers the sensations of the first real smile she's had in more than a year forming as she first sees her guildmates on Christina. Remembers the realizations that came to her while being held in Master's hands.

And now, Lucy knows. Everything still hurts. It still will for a time. But it's okay. Because she wasn't going to let fear stop her anymore.

It was a start – and exactly what she needed.