Thanks for the reviews an everything, you're guys are so sweet! :) Enjoy! ;)
Why did he do that? Why the hell did he do that? Real good job Salvatore. Great job Damon! Not only does Bonnie hate you, she's also afraid of you and...disgusted with you! Damon sat on the bed just like he did earlier; that was the first time when he didn't want his whiskey. The whiskey won't help this time. It's crystal clear that he screwed up. First, when he saw Bonnie in the little wooden house's door, he thought that this might be his chance to tell her how he really feels. When Bonnie shared her bed with him, it was a hint of hope that she is starting to trust him. Deep down inside her, she still trusts him and he wants to earn her trust but somehow, he was not able to say what he wants and acted like the usual idiot he can be. He knew Bonnie hated that side of him and quite frankly, he hates it too but it's much easier to play the jerky vampire. He is so afraid of her. Yeah, that's true; he is afraid. Damon Salvatore is afraid of a girl. But this girl is not just any other Plain Jane. This woman is Bonnie Bennett. What he feels is so confusing to him but it gets clearer as the days go by.
If life would be simpler, he could tell how much he likes, respects and wants the best for her. That is exactly why he couldn't be honest with Bonnie. She deserves the best and unfortunately, Damon is far from what is the best for her. He would try to change for her but that is not enough. She needs someone selfless, strong, patient and caring. Bonnie needs someone like…Stefan. His brother would be perfect for her. Saint Stefan… Even if he can help her with the power thing- and he's sure he can-Bonnie deserves someone who wouldn't have taken it away from her in the first place. She deserves someone who doesn't take away her loved ones for the sake of his own selfish goals and someone who can protect her from the monsters like him.
But what was the most painful to know was that Bonnie didn't want him. She didn't return the kiss; she just stood there motionless and terrified. She couldn't look at him; she didn't want to see the real side of him. He tried to open up to her but she closed up. 'I do care for you, Bonnie'.
"You are a freakin' idiot." Damon sighed and buried his head onto his palms. Maybe if she wouldn't have gotten the stupid phone call, maybe things would've been different… No. Even if she would kiss back, it would be the best for her if he let her. He has to let her go. He will keep his promise with the power thing but nothing more. No matter what he feels, no matter how much he wants to be with her, he will let her go and let her live the life that she deserves to live. Even if he will continue to endure the eternal suffering, she deserves to be happy. Bonnie needs the best.
A silent teardrop escaped from between his fingers and landed on the floor before it disappeared as if it had never existed.
oooOOooo
Bonnie knew she had two different sides to her personality. A part of her was glad for the call but the other side was angry and disappointed. Finally, Damon said those words; he said he does care for her. That side of her wanted to rush back to the room and finish that kiss or hear more honest words from the vampire but she couldn't follow this side because her mind knew she couldn't trust in him...yet. Maybe after she gets back her powers back, she can defend herself. Right now, Damon could play with her but she can't be a fool again. Maybe he is honest but Bonnie suffered enough; she needs more time in order to trust Damon again. Damon has to earn her trust.
She slowed down her steps as she approached the room. She stood before the door and took a few deep breaths. She had no idea what she would say; the whole situation was too awkward. One thing was for sure; she won't shut and scream again. She will act like an adult and let him talk. They need to talk and she knew that it's hard for Damon so she has to try and make it easier for him.
She grabbed the handle while she shook hands and opened the door with a faint smile on her lips. "Hey." She cleared her throat because her voice became shaky again. When Damon turned to face her, Bonnie felt like it took forever to see his face. Now it's up to Damon. She tried to look at him warmly and encouragingly so that the situation would be less awkward.
"Are you alright?" Damon raised an eyebrow and looked at her painfully indifferent. "You owe me a bottle of my love." Damon waved toward the broken glasses but Bonnie didn't follow his move. Her smile disappeared; she watched Damon and thought about how easily he could say my love for a simple glass of alcohol and how hard it was for him to say thank you or sorry to the people who are closest to him. "So, the little girly chit-chat went well?"
Bonnie sighed and put down her phone onto the table. She felt really tired. She knew that something of this sort would happen. Damon brushing off the last time they saw each other as if nothing had happened between them. That was his strength. Why can't he act his age? "I told her I'm with my cousin." Bonnie herself had heard the disappointment in her voice but she didn't care. She took of her jacket and put it down on the bed.
"Oh, Bonnie! Such a bad bad girl. You lied to your friends." Bonnie didn't care about Damon's smirk or his cocky tone. She turned around to take a towel and her shower gel. "Perhaps you are ashamed of me?"
Bonnie faced him and looked deeply into the icy eyes of the vampire. "Yes." Then she opened the bathroom door and left Damon behind. It wasn't long before she heard Damon leave the room. She clutched the towel and her other stuff to herself before she threw herself against the door. What she felt was unexpected; the pain was so real like a little thorn in her heart. She tried to fight the tears because Damon didn't deserve her tears but he still got them like everything else. Bonnie was glad he had left so he couldn't hear her sobs. She was beyond upset. She thought they could talk and then everything would be different. Whether the conversation went sweet or sour, they could talk honestly about their feelings and everything concerning their relationship status- or whatever is it they had- can develop but Damon is unable to have the balls to finally do it.
Bonnie closed her eyes and took a deep breath to stop her tears. It was too good to be true. She has to get over herself. If Damon wants to forget then she will forget as well. They will get her powers back her and then that will be it. Nothing more, nothing less. That would be the best for the both of us. Then why the hell does it hurt so much? Bonnie shook her head and took off her clothes to take a shower. Maybe the chilly water will wash her pain away.
oooOOooo
She was under the water for almost half an hour but it felt like minutes to her. The pain was still present and hurtful just as before. She wrapped the towel around her and opened the door knowing that there is a high chance of Damon being out there. She walked out the kitchen table to see it covered with papers. Bonnie was sure they weren't there before. She lifted one up from the top and looked at it. It was a map. She put it down and took the next. It was filled with various names and addresses. She realized that it was Damon's research. She also saw the yellow highlighter next to a spell book. If the papers are here…
"Are there any familiar names on it?" Bonnie jumped a little when she heard Damon's voice behind her. "No." Bonnie put down the list and took another with spells on it. "What's this?" This time she didn't care about Damon's gaze on her wet body; this time she would be the emotionless one of the duo. She read the paper and ignored him completely; a water drop fell onto the paper from her hair and moistened it.
"You are dripping." Damon still stood beside her, frozen like an ice statue. "You need to dress up."
"I don't think I can show you something you have not seen before." Bonnie said indifferently and turned the paper in her hand. "What's this?" She asked again.
Damon cleared his throat and tried to look away from the gorgeous caramel body and the ebony shiny, wavy hair. "You tell me. Do you remember the spell from that night?" Bonnie snorted contemptuously. "No. Do you?" Damon stayed in silence and lowered his eyes. He looked so repentant, Bonnie felt sorry for him. "Alright, what did you find out?" She asked with a big sigh.
"I will tell you as soon as you dress up. You know it's pretty hard to concentrate beside a beautiful, wet and naked woman." Damon winked at Bonnie but she stayed serious. She decided she would be the one to finish the game. If Damon wanted to pretend like nothing happened between them, she's accepted it but she won't give him a helpful hand to his circus. "I will put the books on my bed then I will tell you everything." Damon also became serious; Bonnie saw a little awkwardness in his eyes too.
"Good." She nodded her head, picked up her clothes then went back to the bathroom. When she came out fully dressed, she saw that Damon really did what he said he would do. He was sitting on the bed reading a book which was close to the nightstand, "I never thought you used such things."
Damon looked down at the highlighter in his hand and laughed. "Well, sometimes it does come in handy."
"You know those are very precious and old books." She smiled and walked to his bed. Damon watched her every motion as she sat beside him so close he almost lost his mind. "So have you found anything?" Bonnie leant over to see the lines that Damon highlighted, making her get even closer to him. Damon closed his eyes and inhaled her scent deeply. He will lose his mind that was for sure. It was like Bonnie intentionally did everything to drive him crazy. That's it! Of course! She is the player this time but what she is up to?
"Can you lean back? I can't see anything." His voice was nervous and impatient. Bonnie only makes things harder in this predicament. Bonnie rolled her eyes and pulled away. "Yes sir."
"Great. Do you know anything about some Mother?"
Bonnie frowned as she tried to remember. "The Mother of all…yeah…I remember something. Every witches' Mother. Why? Can she can help me?" Bonnie asked as lifted her hair up with her right hand and massaged her neck with the left. Damon swallowed when he saw her delicious neck and remembered the night when Bonnie asked him to turn her for the first time.
"Only she can help …" he started "…can you finish this? " Damon snapped when Bonnie moaned a little during her neck massage. Bonnie let her hair down and looked at Damon with wide eyes. "What are you talking about? I did nothing."
"Nothing? Then what was the deal with strolling around the kitchen with only a towel, the leaning too close for comfort thing before and now that sultry moan? You've been watching too many teen flicks. What are you trying to do? Seduce me?"
Bonnie's eyes widened even more as she looked at him with clear surprise on her facial expression. "You're acting paranoid for no reason. First of all, I didn't know you were in the room when I came out with my towel. Secondly, I leaned closer because I'm not exactly tall and couldn't see the text and third, my neck was aching that's why I moaned. Oh and last point, you're an idiot."
"Whatever. Stop it." Damon cleared his throat and stood up to pour a glass of whiskey. To his biggest surprise Bonnie also walked to him and lifted up a glass. "Do you want some?" Damon raised an eyebrow and poured some of the gold liquid into her glass as well.
"I need some." Bonnie lifted the glass to her mouth and took a large gulp. The whiskey burnt down her tongue and throat. She never liked the alcohol but it's hard to avoid some when you're with someone like Damon.
"Whoa Judgy, I think I've become a bad influence on you." Damon watched her as she emptied her glass in less than a second.
"You're a bad influence to everyone." Bonnie murmured and grabbed the bottle from Damon's hand to fill her glass again.
"Ouch, you hurt my feelings."
"Your feelings? Sure." Bonnie laughed dryly and drank some more.
"You don't think I have feelings?" Damon didn't sound hurt-that was a simple question. Bonnie shook her head and stepped closer to him. "I do know that you have feelings. I think you have deeper feelings than anybody else that I've ever met in my life." Damon looked into her green eyes silently as Bonnie leaned even closer to whisper, "You are just too cowardly to show them."
"I think you have had enough whiskey for the day. You are already drunk." Damon didn't step back; he took the glass from Bonnie's hand but never broke eye contact or the closeness of his body and hers.
"I am completely sober."
"Good. I don't want you drunk when you are with me." Damon's eyes wondered from the beautiful green eyes to the delicious lips.
"Why?" Bonnie breathed the word; they already knew the answer but it needed to be said.
It wasn't unexpected when Damon stepped back and looked away. "You are my responsibility and I don't want to hear Elena's preaching if something bad happens to you."
"Coward." Bonnie laughed tiredly. "You tried to kiss me. Don't you want to add some input to that?" Bonnie was done with pretending. If she has to be with Damon on this trip, they'll have to straighten some facts out.
"There is nothing more to talk about. As you said, I have a thing with the human girls, that's it." Damon shrugged indifferently.
"I know you're big on this concept of shoving things under the rug thing but I'm not. I can't pretend. You said you do care for me. I wanna see it, I wanna hear it. I want to see your feelings Damon. Show me!" Bonnie felt herself getting nervous but she tried to keep herself as calm as possible. She looked at Damon almost pleading but she couldn't see through the icy mask.
"I only said that because you were hysterical again. That was the only way to shut your mouth."
Bonnie growled angrily, she is here to help him but Damon was a lost case. She doesn't have to do this. She doesn't owe him anything yet she is still here. "Do you even know why I am here? Do you wanna know the real cause?" Bonnie asked as she walked to her bag; her foot banging on the floor loudly. "It's not only to get my powers back. I am here because of you Damon. I am here because of this." The little black diary landed on the floor and stared at Damon accusingly. Damon's whole body numbed all the way to his face.
"I am here because of you. I am here because of the real side of you. I wanna see the real Damon." Bonnie's voice softened, she slowly walked toward Damon. The next thing she knew, her back was against the wall as Damon roughly pressed her to it.
"You wanna see the real side of me?" He growled in vampire mode; he was just as scary as when he offered his blood to her. "This is who I am. I am a monster." Bonnie didn't look away, she didn't closed her eyes; she looked deeply into the black eyes until she was able to see the blue ones behind them. "No, you're not." Bonnie whispered and caressed the vampire's face with a very shaking hand. "All you have to do to is tell me how you feel and it will be better. I can help you but I need you to be honest with me."
"What do you wanna hear?" Damon pushed away Bonnie's hand. "You want to hear how sorry I am? Alright! I'm sorry, Bonnie! I'm so sorry for everything that I've done to you! You've always helped me but I wasn't even able to save your father. Your life would be better without me. I used you like a puppet and I didn't care how much pain it caused you. I am selfish; I only saw my problems and never cared about the troubles I brought to you. I…I ruined your life because of my stupid obsession! I'm sorry Bonnie. I'm so sorry. I am…"
Bonnie never saw Damon's tears but now he stood beside her with tears, a lot of guilt and self-loath in his eyes. "Thank you." She whispered and ran her finger over a dark vein on his face. Damon closed his eyes; Bonnie watched as the veins slowly disappeared. She waited till Damon opened his eyes again and leaned closer. Her heart and breath sped up; she parted her lips.
"What are you doing?" Damon whispered. He can't let this to happen.
"Do you want me to stop?" Damon knew the right answer would be yes but he wasn't able to protest so he finally breathed a quiet "No" before Bonnie's lips touched his and the miracle happened.
It was like something they had both never felt before. Their bodies almost trembled for joy like they had waited for something like this for a long time. Damon's cold lips softly caressed Bonnie's warm ones and created an electric thunder between them. Sparkles filled their whole body as their tongues danced with more passionate at every motion of hands on each other. They can't let each other go, every inch of their bodies were touching. It felt so crazy yet deliciously good. Everything went dark, only the two of them existed. They didn't need anybody else just each other. Bonnie slipped down her hand to his neck while her other hand caressed his side under his shirt and slowly wandered up and down on his torso.
"Bonnie….Bonnie stop." Damon tried to speak but it was harder than he thought. "We can't do this. I don't deserve you. You deserve much better than me."
Bonnie smiled and kissed his lips softly. "I know but still, I think you are the one that I want." Damon smiled back gratefully and this time he started the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Bonnie and hugged her tightly. It was unbelievable; he can't believe what was happening. He slowly ran his fingers over her spine causing Bonnie to moan against his lips. Just when he thought about where they will stop, Bonnie's phone started to ring.
Damon moaned grudgingly and buried his head onto Bonnie's neck. "Elena?" He asked and gently kissed her neck. Bonnie nodded because she wasn't able to create words thanks to Damon's chilly lips.
Damon pulled away and smiled at her. "I will wait here" he said "and we will continue." He finished with a wink. Bonnie rolled her eyes; Damon will never change completely. But she can get used to it. "I will be right back." She said with a smile on her lips. They look like idiots; two smiling idiots. She kissed the cold lips again, ignoring the rings. "Craziness" she breathed when she pulled away. "Yeah" Damon agreed as well.
"Heaven Sent"
It's freaking me out that I didn't see
You're so damn hot girl it's just crazy
And without a doubt I still can't believe
That you were right there in front of me
Never saw the chemistry
That was there with you and me
It's been a long time coming
[Chorus:]
Just waiting for an angel
To take me out of my hell
I'm falling for you
Just dropping out of thin air
You came out of nowhere
Right out of the blue
When heaven sent you
And night after night I didn't sleep
But that was before you laid beside me
When all of my demons were dancing with me
I'm glad you came down because I was in too deep..
oooOOooo
Bonnie went down the stairs and walked outside. No, she wasn't walking-more like dancing. She felt like everything around her was beautiful. She never thought that would happen when she went on this road but she was as happy as ever. She knew it is Damon who was causing all this happiness but that was fine. Damon Salvatore, her enemy...She was still very drunk; very drunk on the kiss. Damon was so gentle she never thought he would be able to be like that. The best was her knowledge of every word, every motion that he had exchange with her had been honest.
She couldn't wait to hang up the phone and go back to Damon. She didn't really listen to Elena's words; she didn't really care what she was saying. Finally, Elena gave up and said she will call her tomorrow again so Bonnie slipped back her phone into her pocket and rushed back to the motel. She needed some air.
"My favorite witch..." Bonnie had frozen when she heard the familiar voice.
"Katherine." She turned to face the name's owner. Katherine smirked at her and Bonnie knew that by the way she was feeling about this moment, things were going to turn sour.
"Do you enjoy your days with my sweet, lovely Damon? Oh, I see everything sweetie." She said as she rolled her eyes when she saw the witch's surprise on her face. "Don't worry. I prefer you than the lame look-a-like of mine."
"I don't think you have the right to choose Damon's dates. And even if you did have that power, you lost it when you let him suffer for so many years." Bonnie didn't care about her lack of magical abilities and the fact that Katherine could easily kill her anytime. All she knew was that she couldn't hear her talk about Damon that way.
"You're such a cutie for trying to be his knight in shining armor."
"What do you want Katherine?" Bonnie interrupted her impatiently. If she has to die, she wants to get over with as soon as possible.
"I want to offer you a deal." Katherine became serious.
"A deal?" Bonnie didn't except that possibility when she saw the vampire.
"I can get your powers back to you." Bonnie felt a lot of things at once but she tried to stay firm. "What is the price?" Katherine smiled; she was waiting for that question since she saw the witch. "You have to come with me to join us. It means…"
"It means I have to choose." Bonnie whispered when she understood what she meant.
"Yep. So what's it going to be? Your huge witchy power or whatever it is you have with Damon? The deal is in effect 5…4…3…"
Sooo what do you think? What will be Bonnie's choice? Will she choose this fresh but honest relationship with Damon? Or she will choose the power what she has long been known? Can she trust in Katherine?
Music: Hinder- Heaven Sent - everybody go and listen it right now! :D That's my Bamon song. That was the first song which I heard and thought of Bamon immediately.