„Do you even hear what I'm saying?"
Damon dragged himself out of his thoughts for Elena's angry voice but he was careful not to pay more attention than necessary. He found Elena's voice more and more annoying as the days went by. He got even more frustrated by her presence.
Suddenly, the things he loved the most about her became the things he loathed the most. Like her voice that Damon used to compare to a flawless angel's smooth whisper in the past but now it sounds dumb and harsh. The words that leave her lips were now meaningless and stupid. Her lips were always so soft and shiny to the point that he felt like every time he looked at those perfect lips, they almost begged for a kiss. He would sell his soul for a quick taste but now when he got that taste, the shine was gone, the inviting lips became commanding and the desire had vanished.
Suddenly he found Elena's eyes too big, lips too thin, cheeks too soft, hair too straight, skin too white…Despite this, he knew the problem is not in Elena but in him. What bothered him the most is the fact that he felt sick of himself. Elena was his brother's girlfriend. What he did – what he does- is beyond every bad thing that he has ever done to him. It just made his sinful relationship with her even worse now that he realizes the blindfold love that led him into this madness. If that would've been the cause, maybe his heart could find forgiveness someday although he wasn't going to be on that list for a long time. Still, the fool heart filled with hopeless dreams, love and desire could ease his guilt.
He doesn't love Elena-maybe he never did. He started to realize this logical fact almost a year ago. It was the same year when he started to recognize the feelings of real love with Judgy. He finally realized how real and deep feelings do feel. At first, he tried to suppress these strange feelings but he only caused her to suffer even more with his denial. He deserved her hate and he accepted it. He tried to protect her but he failed. He failed so many times but still he never gave up. He kept an eye on her until now. This time he gave up and let her fly away. He let his little bird go against the wild world, to face all the troubles on her own.
Damon closed his eyes for a quick moment. 'No Damon, stop it. She is fine. She can protect herself; she is safe.' That was a huge lie or a huge denial at least. He had no idea where Bonnie could be. It's been a whole week since he got that message from her. Since then, he heard nothing new from her. To tell the truth, he didn't bother to ask…
"Stefan is out for the rest of the afternoon so we have some time…"
Maybe he could ask Caroline. She has to know something about her; after all she was always the chatty one. She won't even recognize his motivation so she won't ask annoying questions like Stefan or Elena. Yeah, that's what he gonna do. A happy smile appeared on the corner of his lips.
"I knew you were gonna be happy to hear that."
Damon finally pulled himself out of his daydreaming. Damn he almost forgot about Elena sitting next to him. What did she say? Shit. Who cares anyway? Alright something about… He had not much time to think but he felt a soft hand start to slip under his t-shirt so he didn't have to figure out what she was talking about anymore. Yeah, something like that...
And here we are; the weirdest and the worst thing about Elena. It's barely more than a week since their first 'mistake' and now she is the one who wants this. She is the one who enjoyed this the most. No resistance, no swearing, no shy looks, no regret and most of all…no guilt.
If he wasn't such a coward, he would've ended this a long time ago but no-he knows he needs this. He needs this shame, this betrayal to help him forget.
This is the only way.
oooOOooo
"I want to see her."
Her voice cut through the sound of madness like the room would be a silent waiting room instead of what it really was: a room full with crazy, drunk and blood thirsty vampires. Bonnie sat next to Katherine on a couch; a bottle of Champagne on her right hand while the other woman's delicate fingers held a glass of deep red liquid. When she spoke up, Katherine narrowed her eyes like a warning but Bonnie ignored her.
"Want to see what, my dear?" Klaus knew exactly what was she talking about but he decided to obligingly give her a chance to rethink her words. He smiled when he heard no answer and took a bite from the peach that was on the fruit basket displayed in front of him. The sweet liquid flew over his chin and hand.
His joy didn't last long because in the next moment, Bonnie put down her drink and stood up, "The Mother. I want to meet her."
"So do I." Klaus' laugh filled the room which was quiet by now. Every vampire watched them in deathly silence and waited for the thunder. Klaus stopped the laugh and stood up as well. His voice was serious but calm. "I already told you precious Bonnie; I don't know where she is. I have never met her."
This time Bonnie was the one who let out a quick laugh before she spoke again, "I was watching you Klaus and I don't believe you. You had to have met her. You are an original and obsessed with witches. Do you think I believe you have never encountered the most powerful witch of all? I could imagine you were dying to meet her."
Klaus' face twitched but he forced a smile "That's none of your business sweetheart."
"It is my business, Klaus." Bonnie snapped. "I don't trust you with this power thing. If I really get her power, I wanna hear the risks from her. I'm not stupid; I know every wish comes with a price. I'm curious about how high the price will be this time. Plus there has to be a reason why is she throwing away this precious gift."
"It does not matter what the reason is. All that matters is with her power, you will be the most powerful one of them all. Although right now you are acting like a spoiled princess, I'm starting to wonder if you are able to handle that much power."
Bonnie's face darkened. Klaus spoke to her like a father who is scolding his little daughter for misbehavior. What a prick. How dare he decide that he has the right to do that! A deep growl escaped from between her lips. "You're not sure?" Bonnie stepped out from behind the coffee table and walked toward Klaus very slowly, like a panther approaching its prey. "Let me tell you something dear Klaus. You have no idea what I can handle. You have no idea what I'm able to do because if you did, you would know that when I'm this close to you…you should cry for help." She whispered the last words right into Klaus' left ear. "But fine." She pulled back and shrugged indifferently. "If you won't tell me where the Mother is, I will find her on my own. I have a feeling she won't be happy when she realizes you have her precious spells. Just a guess but I don't think she chose you to babysit her magic. After all, she hates vampires right? Then here's the question: why?"
"You're so naïve Bonnie if you believe you are able to something that I can't." Klaus hissed the words and gripped her arm, forcing her to step back a little. "I spent years looking for her with no luck. What makes you think that you will succeed?"
Bonnie smiled and ripped out her arm from his grip. "The difference is, like the Mother, I am a witch. I know how to find someone like me so now if you'll excuse me, I have to go." As she passed by the couch, she looked at Katherine. She had no idea why but she wanted her to go with her. As if Katherine understood and wanted the same, she emptied her glass and stood up to follow the witch.
"Katherine…" Klaus raised his voice warningly. "Bonnie can go but you're mine. You owe me and your punishment is not over yet. It never will be so sit back and pray for my mercy." He barely finished the sentence before a sharp pain split into his head causing an unbearable pain he only had the displeasure of experiencing once before.
"Katherine is coming with me. If you or one of your puppies comes after us, I will kill them one by one. After I'm finished with them, I will come for you as well." Bonnie heard Klaus' husky laugh as he said, "You will come back precious Bonnie. Your power needs my spells in order to access them. Don't worry; you are always welcome no matter what."
"So how will we find this Mother thing?" Katherine asked as they left the house and walked towards a parking car. Bonnie didn't mind to stop or even turn, she just shook her head. "I have no idea."
Katherine halted, her always confident face showed uncertainty for the first time. "But you said…" she started but Bonnie interrupted her. "I was bluffing." She said calmly and opened the car door.
Katherine growled frustrated before she got into the car. "Great."
oooOOooo
Damon prepared the dinner with Elena in the Salvatore kitchen. Stefan would like to spend a pleasant family dinner just the three of them. It's totally not going to be awkward at all…
"Are you sure he's not surmising anything?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Elena replied simply. Damon watched as the knife cut the tomato into two pieces. How could she be this calm? "How can you be this calm?" he asked out loud.
"How couldn't you?" Elena put down the knife and looked at him unbelievingly like Damon asked the stupidest question in the world. "We were just having fun, there's no need for him to know." She explained and took the knife again. "And we are always very careful. He will never know about us. The only way for him to get this knowledge is if one of us tells him directly." Elena giggled on this statement and shook her head like she had mentioned the joke of the year. Damon frowned and put the salad into the big wooden bowl. When he turned, he saw a plate full with chocolate cookies on the other side of the counter. It was like a sign and he won't let it slip from his hands.
"These cookies…witchy used to make them right? Was she here?"
Elena let out an annoyed breath as she faced Damon. "She is not even in town Damon. I can't believe you; it's been over a week since she left and you never realized her absence?"
Of course I did. I did and it's tearing my heart apart. I lose a bit of myself with every freaking day without her..
"…Damon?" Damon cleared his throat and put on his usual smirk. "I don't really care about the witch and her whereabouts until we need to know where she is when shit starts hitting the fan. But then again, she's power-free therefore, quite useless."
Elena rolled her eyes and took some plates to carry them to the dining room. Damon followed her with the meat and vegetables. "You're childish beside you're acting like a jerk. If you must know, she's with her cousin Lucy."
Damon raised his eyebrow. "She found her? I thought she didn't know where she was." Something is wrong. Something is very wrong.
Elena sighed and put down the plates to adjust them on the table. "We didn't really have a chance…to talk."
"What do you mean you didn't get a chance to chat?" Damon analyzed the girl's face and tried to figure out what happened. Elena nervously played with the fork in her hand until finally, she sighed and sat down. "She came here the same night you came back and I…I told her I slept with you and she didn't take it well."
Damon felt like the air around him had frozen and Elena's voice sounded so distant like he would be deep underwater. Bonnie came here…maybe she came back looking for him and changed her mind when Elena told her about them sleeping together. Could it be that she wanted to give their relationship a chance? Damon stared at the table motionlessly like a statue. When he spoke, his voice was husky and barely understandable. "What did she say?"
"What?" Elena cleared her throat and looked up at him.
"What did she say?" Damon repeated, this time a little louder.
"She was quite mad at me. She said what I think she will come to regret saying. She said she was tired of me, that everything is always about me…" Elena sound offended like Bonnie had no right to speak that way to her. Damon smiled a little on this; finally someone gave a lecture to Princess Miss Perfect. "She also spoke about Stefan…she was mad at me because of him. The rudest thing that she said was about you and me." Damon picked up his head, he was afraid of what he was going to hear next but he knew he had to hear it.
"What did she say?" he asked for the third time now. Elena raised her eyebrow. "Why do you even care anyway?"
"That's none of your business Elena." He growled angry. "If you were that stupid to tell this shit to the most loyal people in this freaking group I wanna know every word that left her lips."
"This shit?" Elena looked at him and Damon knew she was getting prepped to shout but he didn't care. "So what's between us is shit?"
"You really don't want me to answer that question." Damon murmured not caring about Elena's offended face. "And now tell me what she said about me."
Elena folded her arms but answered. "She said we deserve each other. She said we only play and use the people who try to love us."
Damon's eyes widened. "That was what she said? She used these words? She said we are using the people who try to love us?"
Elena smirked, the smirk that was an exact replica of Katherine's as she continued, "Yeah she said that. Why? Suddenly you care about her?"
Damon couldn't answer because a voice broke the sudden silence. "What's happening?" Stefan stepped into the room with a box of cake in his hand. "Are you guys talking about Bonnie?" He asked as he put down the box and looked at his brother curiously.
"Yes." Damon growled the answer and left the room with angry footsteps.
A few minutes later, Damon heard a knock on his door. He didn't answer because he knew who it was but the person let himself in anyway without his permission.
"Are you alright?" Stefan asked.
Damon looked into his brother's brown eyes and said nothing. Stefan sighed and closed the door behind him. His expression became Stefan-serious which is the highest level of serious in the universe and only he is able to achieve it. Like a special ability.
"What's going on between you and Bonnie? Were you two together when she had disappeared a few weeks ago?"
Damon looked away but nodded his head hesitantly. Stefan sighed again and closed his eyes for a quick moment. "What happened?"
Damon didn't want to begin the whole story so he walked to the bottle and poured some gold liquid onto a glass. "She had left me." He said simply and handed the glass of bourbon to his still brooding and surprised brother. Stefan took the glass and nodded. Damon knew he wouldn't ask any questions. He understood that if he doesn't want to talk about the circumstances, he doesn't have to. Stefan sipped his drink and looked at his older brother. "You two…" he started but Damon interrupted. "I kissed her, she kissed me. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Do you…?" Stefan started again.
"Love her?" Stefan nodded his head and analyzed the other vampire's face. For a while, Damon didn't answer but then he nodded his head followed by numerous mini nods as he concluded more to himself than his brother, "Yes, I think I do."
Stefan stepped closer and put his arm on Damon's shoulder so he could squeeze it a little. "Then go and find her."
Damon shook his head sadly "She doesn't want me. She has every reason to hate me."
"Then you have to give her reasons to love you again. I'm sure you can. Just show her this side. Show her the Damon I know. The Damon who has feelings." Stefan slowly removed his hand from his brother's shoulder. He smiled at him encouragingly and turned to walk towards the door. "Good luck." He said as he grabbed the doorknob.
Damon watched his back and thought about the previous exchange of words in his room. The Damon I know…He couldn't help it, the words slipped right out of his mouth.
"I slept with Elena."
Thank you sweet randomlittleme! :)
Thank you for the reviews and everything, your wonderful! please tell me what do you think and what would you like to see in the next chapter. :)
Music: Bonnie -THOUSAND FOOT KRUTCH- Courtesy Call; Shinedown- Cry for help
Damon- Adelita's Way - Last Stand; Thousand foot krutch- Somebody