The living situation was awful. In a dark corner was a chamber pot, and it was filled with sand rather than water. Almost like some sort of human litter box, it was odd.
At one point a guard threw a bit of stale bread at her, but Sakura left it where it lay as she no longer had an appetite.
It had gone dark outside, and she wondered what time it could possibly be.
The pinkette had been crying for a long time, and felt terribly fatigued. She was so tired that one look at the 'pillow nest' had her stumbling towards it. Avoiding the broken crates she made her way to the pile of shredded pillows and blankets. She practically fell into the mess with a relieved sigh, her tired eyes had slipped shut almost instantly.
The bedding smelled like the beast that held her captive, and yet it wasn't an offensive smell at all. In fact it was oddly comforting.
Sakura didn't dream, but she did awaken abruptly out of nowhere. The room was nearly pitch black, with the exception of moonlight glittering through the boarded windows. A scent of blood seemed to hover in the air-
"You're in my spot." The tired low voice made her jump, and when she tried focusing she noticed a figure crouching right in front of her. She blinked at him while her stomach began to form knots.
"I'm sorry... it was the best place to sleep-"
"If I don't sleep then you won't either." Gaara growled, but it was less threatening than usual. However, his words put her so far on edge that she actually started to back away from him.
This reaction piqued his interest.
"You were so fearless earlier, I'm curious as to what changed your mind-?"
Suddenly the pinkette was yanked forward by her ankles, and she unfortunately screamed as a result. A dark laugh came from his throat, the sinister sound had her fighting him as hard as she could.
"Now you're really scared! I liked that little scream of yours, do it again!" He yanked on her thighs now, bringing her even closer to him, her fists punched at his chest as one pale hand her held her down at the neck while his other grasped at a wrist. When he squeezed, her other hand tried to fight him for air, and his sadistic eyes were made visible to her in the dark. "Beg me not to do it! Beg!"
Sakura felt true fear then. The humiliation, pain, disgust, and the torture of being made completely vulnerable while the body was used like a tissue.
It broke her like a stone shattering a pane of glass. She felt herself crumble into tiny glittering shards at the thought. She had no choice, her fear would not allow her to do otherwise.
"Please... Gaara... don't... don't do this... please, don't force yourself on me!" As she began to break out into fresh tears she felt the hand around her neck tense. His whole body went painfully still, and quiet. The only sound was of her crying out like a child for their mother. She continued to beg him to spare her such tortures, but yet he said nothing. He did nothing. "Gaara... please-"
"Why do you keep thinking that I'm going to do something like that?" The redhead suddenly snarled, and it made her jump once more. Her reaction only made him even more furious. "IS THAT THE ONLY THING THAT FRIGHTENS YOU-?!"
"Yes." Sakura whimpered in a small voice, and it had him sitting up ramrod straight. She was certain that he was probably looking at her in disbelief, but the darkness left her wondering.
"That's all it takes... to make you scream?" The way he asked was as if the question were rhetorical, but it didn't stop her from shivering. He gave a scoff for a moment, but then the moon glinted off of his eyes; showing his malcontent. "Well... there's a first for everything-"
"NO!" The former kunoichi shrieked, and started to kick at him violently. His sand held down her limbs as he pressed on her smaller frame, and the sobbing noises that came from her would have broken the most hardened of hearts.
Yet, this beast felt nothing. His heart was made of black diamond.
"I'm not exactly certain how to start this." Gaara admitted apathetically, and brought his face in to hover over her own. The moon reflected off his eyes like a cat, making it apparent to her that he was like an animal in more ways than one. Her tears started to blind her vision, and she could not see whether he was attacking or not. A warm, wet tongue lapped at her tear stained cheeks reminding her of a loving pet. It was too intimate, too personal.
"Please stop!" Sakura cried, and he lapped at the next batch of tears that rolled down her cheeks. His hands dove into her hair to drag his nails against her scalp, it sent goosebumps down her whole body making her feel shameful. He pulled away to watch her very carefully, as if judging every tiny reaction she had. Her breath was heaving painfully with anxiety, but it only seemed to keep him invested.
'He's not stopping!' She panicked as one of his hands smoothed down her throat, and stroked down the center of her chest. She kicked her legs , but he had his knees forcing them apart to the point that she couldn't get them around to get a hit in.
The redhead reached for the hem of her tank top, and began pulling it up with curiosity. The pinkette screamed again jolting her body with an attempt to get away from him, but it did nothing as he slowly exposed her chest to the cool night air.
He stalled for a moment, and with a cautious touch he ran his fingertips experimentally along one breast. It felt good, and that part also made her feel sick. She started to cry again, stirring something inside of him that forced his hand in groping her chest firmly. Her body jerked violently at the touch, but it couldn't stop his other hand from doing the same to her other mound.
It wasn't supposed to feel good, yet it did, and it had her wanting to vomit.
"Soft..." Gaara murmured to himself, and bent his head down to take a mound into his mouth. Sakura whimpered at the sensation in both fear and pleasure. Her mind forced her to drift as if she was getting prepared to leave her body- "SCREAM!"
The sound of his raw voice had her plummeting back into reality, but with it came the realization of something very important. Like a wakeup call.
This beast did not want her pleasure, he wanted her to be in pain. There was a way out, she could end this, but it would require a collected mind. If she focused on acting, and decided to pretend to be someone she was not then perhaps she could avoid this.
She'd have to play a person who might enjoy something like this. Someone who could be attracted to such a despicable man.
"I c-can't..." Sakura cursed her small voice, but continued to try her method. He glared at her for a moment, and surprisingly she could see the expression in the dark. His head dipped back down to lap at her breast greedily, and she chose that moment to let out an approving moan. However, the sound was unfortunately real, and as sick as it made her she felt that her body enjoyed his sinister attentions.
He finally broke away, proving her theory right that he did not actually want to do this out of desire for her, but rather his sadistic nature.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Gaara questioned her incredulously, but she played off acting coy. With a submissive whimper she executed her part well.
"I don't know... I thought I would hate this, but..." The former kunoichi looked off to the side shyly, and felt hope when she heard him snarl.
"How dare you!" His hand went into her hair to pull, making her wince in discomfort. She could feel his burning breath flay against her face. "Tell me you hate it!"
The redhead then pressed his mouth bruisingly hard over her own, forcing his tongue past her teeth. Normally she would have fought such an action, but to make her case seem real she returned the violent kiss.
Her lips parted further for him, and his hot tongue licked at the inside of her mouth without reservation. His one hand gripped hard at her hip, his mouth growling and panting against her lips as he viciously kissed her. Delicate hands traced along the tops of his shoulders until they draped gently behind his neck.
It was a fight for dominance, and it was strangely heady. Sakura felt herself go slightly dizzy while dragging her tongue along his own, and oddly felt him begin to slow to a more hypnotic pace. The inside of his mouth was hot, and wet, but still eager. The hand in her hair drifted down to her nape to tangle in the locks.
Gaara growled against her mouth once more, biting down on her lip to tug on it. Her breathing quivered at the attention, feeling his fangs sink into her flesh pleasantly rather than painfully. She tilted her head so that he could kiss her even deeper, and he surprisingly took that chance rather quickly.
The redhead left himself open and vulnerable, his body relaxing further as her fingers lightly scratched at the nape of his neck.
'He'll snap out of it any minute now.' At the thought she nibbled gently at his lower lip, forcing out a heated groan against her lips. His eyes widened at his carelessness, pulling away with a start he panted with alert.
'Got him.' The pinkette cheered inwardly over her small victory.
"You tricked me..." He blinked at her wildly before furrowing his naked brows. She was worried that he may have realized her initial plan, but in the end he seemed to have it skewed. "They told you to do this, didn't they? Thinking that I'd fall to the calls of a bitch in heat-!"
"No one told me to do anything, and you started this of your own accord. I couldn't do anything to stop you, so don't you dare blame me-!"
CRACK.
The burning sting on her cheek had tears welling up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. He may have looked lean, but he struck hard. She looked at the wall finding herself unable to turn her head at the moment.
She wanted to die, why wouldn't he just kill her already?
Suddenly she could hear the unmistakable sound of heaving breaths signaling some sort of breakdown. A wave of relief hit her knowing she was going to die for sure, but at least she would go before any damage was done.
"I'm so tired... why won't it just..." Gaara started to whisper, and for some reason it sounded as if he was talking to himself. His tone was mournful, and it had her feeling strange. "I'm so tired of this. It keeps hurting in my chest... but I don't know why. I love only myself, so why does it hurt?! I'm not bleeding, but there is pain! I'M SICK OF IT!"
Sand started to whip around the room violently, and it cut at Sakura's skin. With her bonds loosened she pulled her shirt back down, and curled into a ball.
Something had gone terribly wrong, he was supposed to kill her. What was happening-?
"EVERYONE HATES ME! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! EVEN WHEN THEY THROW PEOPLE AT MY FEET THEY COWER AWAY WITH THEIR TAILS BETWEEN THEIR LEGS! GUTLESS BASTARDS!"
Suddenly everything clicked. She realized that he was very much alone, and possibly frightened. He was scaring people to test them, and killing them if they gave in. There was a man underneath the monster, but he was hiding because it was safe there.
This beast was making sense to her, and she was empathizing with him.
Before she could think she was up, and moving towards him as quickly as she could with the sand whipping at her. She could feel blood start to roll down her dusted flesh, but she ignored it as best as she could in able to reach the crazed man in front of her.
If she could just get him to wake up, and see that he was human perhaps things could change. Perhaps he could get her out of here.
"STOP!" Gaara snarled at her viciously as her hands came towards him first, but when her body formed against his own the storm slowed. Everything seemed to stop, and the sand fell everywhere as there was no more will to hold it.
She won.
"If you're tired... then rest. I won't hurt you-"
"LIAR!" The redhead growled, yet his arms still seemed to cling to her frame. The former kunoichi ran her fingertips through his red hair to soothe him.
'He needs someone to hold him gently... I don't think he understands what it feels like...' She mused to herself as she felt him nuzzle into the crook of her neck. His breath heaved against her raw skin, alerting her to his degrading emotional state.
"No more pain... hush now... ssh..." She continued to pet him, and eventually she felt his muscles relax under her ministrations. He breathed hard against her shoulder, and for a moment she felt a wetness there that made her aware to the fact that he was crying.
'The beast... cries...' That fact startled her more than she thought it would.
"I'll kill you-" He weakly threatened.
"Stop. No more, Gaara. I can't hurt you so there is no point. Let it go." Sakura whispered gently, and his body relaxed further.
She held him like this for hours.
Occasionally he would fight her, stating that he wasn't safe or that it was pointless, but she continued to practically mother him until he would settle down again. Back and forth this went on, but she would always win with gentleness.
At some point she started to fall asleep, and her body began to slide off of him. When he caught her she ended up jolting. He adjusted her for a moment, and she was certain that her was trying to shake her awake. Yet her head was suddenly pressed against his chest with his heart beating strongly beneath it.
For some reason she hummed pleasantly, as if she had missed the sound of a person's heart. She began slipping again, only this time she knew she would not wake again for at least a few hours. Her body had reached its limit.
She could only pray that he was merciful enough to let her live for now, and not take advantage of her.
- ... - ...
A cold water wake-up call is not exactly the best way to be roused from sleep, but it seemed that the guard wanted her to be completely awake. That or perhaps he was checking to see if she was still alive.
Sakura's body tightened at the shock, the burning room in comparison to the freezing water felt so odd, and awful. She felt all her aches, pains, cuts, and bruises pulse with inflammation forcing her to grit her teeth. She trembled afterwards both out of pain, and the cold.
"Lord Gaara wants you up, so stay awake girl." The plain faced guard hissed before moving back towards the hall. "You have bread and water by the door. Sorry, you don't get requests for last meals-"
"Why don't you take that disgusting moldy bread, and shove it up your ass!" The pinkette seethed before spitting at the man. The saliva didn't go far enough to hit him, but he was insulted enough to make his way back into the room.
He slammed the door behind him.
"It seems I'll have to teach you some manners before Lord Gaara returns." The nameless man stormed forward, taking out his kunai with a threatening gaze.
Sakura was already completely weak, and she knew fighting him without a weapon was no option. Scrambling to the back of the room past some stacked crates she found a sharp piece of wood.
"You think that will hurt me?!" The guard grabbed her shoulder, and as he pulled her to turn she used that momentum to stab the piece into his blocking forearm. He gave a harsh cry, and she took it as her cue to run past him.
'Chance!'
The pinkette misjudged this man's recovery, as he quickly grabbed her still wet arms. She slipped out of his grip for a moment only to lose her balance, falling onto a crate that splintered into her hip. She screamed in pain, and the distraction had the man on her with a knife to her throat.
"You fucking bitch!" The ninja seethed, digging the kunai into her skin. With a slight pop she felt it puncture, the pain white hot as it pulsed up through her temples.
Sakura knew she was crying, and she knew she was screaming, but these were only natural responses for her body. It hurt, but she knew it would be over soon.
She didn't realize how right she was.
"Sand coffin." A rasped tone seemed to break through the chaos, and the last she saw of the guard was his ghostly expression before it became encased in sand.
The pinkette watched blurrily as the twitching form on top of her seemed to explode... or perhaps implode. For some reason the blood sprayed backwards rather than over her person, and it was possibly the most frightening thing she had ever seen.
When she thought about it, she had never actually watched Gaara kill anyone. She was present for his fight with Rock Lee, and the only injuries he sustained was to his arm and leg. She never saw what actually happened when he finally squeezed those pale fingers shut with true intent to kill.
Now she knew, and she understood why people were horrified of his power.
Sakura felt her form suddenly get dragged away from the bloody scene. Her eyes still locked in horror on the wet red sand that slithered about the room. Almost as if the sand was cleaning up the mess-
"He injured you." Gaara murmured softly, pressing his silky fingers against the deep yet not fatal cut on her neck. Her head was in his lap now, and her view was of his porcelain face looking down at her.
He looked furious.
"I should have ripped him apart slowly, I didn't realize that he actually cut you."
Was that supposed to be some sort of apology? A display of some sort of twisted chivalry, fighting for a maiden's honor? Her form remained in shock over it all, but she surmised that it was also from the fact that she had been starved, abused, and not allowed much rest in between.
The redhead tilted his head this way and that, examining her carefully. Finally when he made some sort of decision he hoisted her up, and sat her between his legs like he had yesterday. She could feel his strong heartbeat on her back, only this time it wasn't racing.
"I don't want it to get infected." Gaara murmured softly next to her ear making her shiver at his breathy tone. While it seemed like a sweet gesture she could tell that he was just trying to be careful with her. He tilted her head with care, and she let him expose her wound clearly feeling that he had no intent to actually harm her.
It was strange that she suddenly felt such trust in him when just yesterday he had such ill will towards her.
Sakura jolted when she felt warm lips against her still damp skin, his soft tongue dragged across the bleeding wound. Not only that, but he lapped at the blood that had traveled down her neck as well. Luckily the blood hadn't poured down her front since during the time of the attack she had been pinned on her back, but it did feel strange having him lift up her hair, and lick from her shoulder blades to the nape of her neck.
The pinkette hated herself when a shiver broke out amongst her whole frame, and she wondered just how sick in the head she was to actually find the action somewhat pleasant. He seemed to pause whenever it would happen, but after a second or two he would continue to lick her clean.
This wasn't sanitary, she knew that much.
"I don't think... this is safe." Sakura's voice croaked forcing her to wince in both discomfort and embarrassment. Yet her captor seemed to not care even as he took a break to speak.
"My saliva is different than yours." That was all the redhead said before he went back over to her wound. She inhaled through her teeth at the pain it caused, but eventually the pain began to dull, and she was growing dizzy. Her body started to really lean against him while her head lolled onto his shoulder, forcing him to break away from her lacerated skin. "Are you dying?"
The way he asked was so calm, and curious. It were as if death was the most casual thing in the world for him, and watching people pass away was like watching paint dry. She swallowed, feeling a bit numb.
"I don't know..." The pinkette answered him honestly, her heart was beginning to pulse slowly for some odd reason. His form felt so warm behind her, and she found it oddly comforting.
"Are you afraid?" Gaara asked a bit more intrigued, and while that fact had her also more interested she was in a state where her body was deciding to give up.
She knew the answer, but it still hurt her to say it.
"No." Sakura whispered this time, her head growing thoroughly fuzzy. Why all of a sudden was she feeling like this? She knew she wasn't bleeding out-
"The kunai. It's laced with a sedative." Suddenly she was in his 'nest', how she got from his arms to there she didn't know. He was leaning over her, and oddly brushing hair delicately out of her face. "Only I can kill you. You're mine."
The pinkette nodded, barely even understanding what he was saying yet hearing it crystal clear. He seemed to smirk at that, but not in a sinister way like she had thought he would.
"I should have sedated the girls before you, I like your compliance." The redhead leaned in to study her, then as his hand accidentally brushed her hip he seemed to notice the wood splinters sticking out.
Sakura saw sand moving above her, and felt it slither over her body, but she couldn't move her head to see. She felt the grains move against the wound, taking out each splinter from the large spikes all the way to the microscopic slivers. After the grains left her she felt the familiar heat and wetness of a tongue against the wounds.
It frightened her to think about it, but her body would barely react let alone give her the focus to do anything. He licked at the sensitive area, and his hand crossed over to hold onto her waist. It was almost nurturing, yet it felt ultimately twisted.
"You'll live. However I think it might scar. I'd rather it didn't though." Gaara was leaning over her again, blood still clinging to his lips. Time had jumped once more, but the effects of drugs like these were most definitely the cause. "I said I didn't like your eyes... I lied. They remind me of a person I loved once. I crushed him to death, but I didn't want to."
That sentence was so odd, it came out of nowhere. She started to wonder if he was slipping into some sort of a psychotic episode. His face came closer, studying her pupils most likely.
Those eyes... they were soul sucking, yet hauntingly beautiful.
"Yashamaru, he was my uncle, my dead mother's twin. He said he loved me, but then he tried to murder me. I had no choice... I had no choice, Yashamaru..." The redhead moved her hair out of her face, his expression filled with pain and longing.
He no longer looked like a beast, he looked like a man in mourning.
"I was only six... and you tried to kill me... you said you hated me...Yashamaru!" Gaara's fist went into her hair, clenching the semi-long pink strands painfully. He was shaking violently, his breath quaking with rage.
Who was this injured man? Why did his heart hurt so much? She asked herself these questions as her hand managed to move just the slightest, grazing his arm with the back of her fingertips. The tiny motion startled him enough that he not only gasped but his body jolted.
'He's so scared...' It was true, his eyes looked absolutely fearful right when her fingers stroked his arm, as if the touch was meant to kill him somehow.
"I'm sorry." Sakura spoke with an almost inaudible quietness. His expression looked so broken, and confused over it.
She had meant to apologize for touching him, but he seemed to have taken the words far deeper than she could imagine. With a tight breath he placed his head over her heart, and cried silently.
Was it a dream? She didn't know how much was real before she finally blacked out.
- …. - ….. -
The redhead clutched at her frame desperately, his tears wetting her dirtied clothes.
He knew she wasn't Yashamaru, but to hear a genuine apology from someone was a first for him. It rang through him like a tolling bell, forcing the reminder that he was indeed a human being.
This woman apologized to him after he had left her in pieces, he could see her mirroring his pain for just the briefest of moments. She had held him in a time of vulnerability, and while he cared for her injuries she still managed to feel his sorrow over her own.
What was she? Was she some sort of goddess in human form? Perhaps a reincarnation of the love his mother might have held for him...
Wishful thinking at its finest. He knew she was simply delirious, however he wasn't one to judge on such things. He knew delirium like an old friend.
Sakura had passed out, and he used that to his advantage. His pale hands roamed her frame innocently, and hugged her to him like a heavy blanket. She seemed to mold in his arms to whatever way he held her, and he felt a warmth blossom in his chest over how well she formed to him. Draping her unconscious body in his arms he held her like a bride, savoring her warmth as her head lolled against his chest.
"I won't let anyone have you... mother..." Gaara murmured as he began rubbing his cheek against her own like a cat rubbing its scent on a post. He nuzzled his face into her silky pink hair, breathing in her feminine scent. "Sister... friend... mate..."
He couldn't place a proper term on her, so he rambled out all the words that he found attachment to. She could be all these things if he wanted, so he decided that she would fill whatever hole he had inside his chest in whatever way he deemed suitable.
The redhead stood up, carrying her like a ragdoll in his strong arms. He decided that she needed to be in his quarters, and that real medical attention should be administered.
- ... - ...
Gaara watched them work like a mother wolf entrusting its pup to strangers. He placed himself against a wall with his arms crossed, eyeing every piece of equipment they used on her.
The majority of the work involved chakra repair to her skin, but there were other things involved including the administration of needles and fluid bags. Apparently the pinkette had been dehydrated, malnourished, and frighteningly fatigued on top of the wounds she had received.
Guilt slipped in, and he honestly hadn't felt that emotion in a very long time. He would try to make it up to her somehow.
They started to cleanse her of blood and dirt, but as they began to lift her shirt he ended up snarling. The medical staff halted their work fearfully as he bared his teeth at them.
"Get away from her, you have done enough!" The redhead seethed before crossing the room, they all scattered away from her unconscious form as he approached his bed. His fingers ran through her hair in a way that could be considered loving, and with another growl the medics scurried out of the room fearing for their lives. "No one can see you like that... no one but me-"
"If you're planning on courting her I'd say that you should probably take a bath first." The sound of his older sister's voice broke his train of thought. The hand in Sakura's hair twitched before leaving her alone, and he turned to address the other woman in the room.
"You shouldn't be so forward." Gaara narrowed his eyes at the blonde in the doorway, but she simply smiled.
"You should listen to a woman's advice if you want to connect with one. You stink of blood, and no offense but that's not very attractive." Temari laughed slightly, but it did nothing to ease his permanently raw nerves.
However, she did have a point. She was his only insight to what females found desirable. Whether that desire lay in a mate, a brother, a father... it didn't really matter. His sister most likely held all the answers to what women wanted.
"Any other advice?" The redhead murmured, gaining a rather curious expression from the blonde.
"You really like her-?"
"'Like' is a strong word, I'm merely intrigued." Gaara interjected, pushing his point quite strongly to avoid confusion. His sister blinked in awe over it.
"Um... yeah. Just shower, and be very delicate with her. She's fragile. Also, don't get too upset if she's not into you right away... these things take time." Temari seemed to blush for a moment, although he didn't understand why.
After a moment of silence she finally nodded, and wished him luck before leaving the room. As the door clicked shut he looked over towards his new companion.
Sakura lay peacefully in his bed, resting away the damage he had inflicted on her.
"I'm sorry." The redhead whispered, and then decided to take his sister's advice for once. He entered his bathroom, and turned on the shower that he barely used.
It wasn't like he was truly dirty, like a chinchilla he was quite used to dust baths. His sand exfoliated him wonderfully enough for daily hygiene, but the blood that caked his skin and hair would still get stuck on him if he wasn't too diligent. He wasn't used to water, but he also wasn't completely foreign to the idea either. He had showered before, he just hadn't in a long time.
Gaara turned on the hot water, and stepped in fully clothed. The red that mixed into the stream flowing down the drain made him wince slightly. He was nose blind to the blood, but looking at it now made him frightfully aware of just how much he must have smelled of metallic death.
The water felt rather nice, and he peeled out of the drenched fabric that clung to his pale skin. He knew Sakura would probably be more accepting of his presence if he smelled more like soap than like blood, so lathering up was essential.
Part of him wanted to laugh over the effort he was going through to be more appealing to a girl, but another part of him craved for her affection. She had held him so gently that he never wanted her to stop, and if doing this meant that she would hold him in such a way again then he would do it in a heartbeat.
At that thought he hurried through the rest of his shower. Something about being close to her had him rushing to finish just so he could go back to watching her. He rinsed, shut off the tap, and toweled off before going to his closet.
The redhead opted for comfort, but still sported the normal shinobi qualities to his outfit. The standard netted shirt was in place underneath a black t-shirt, and a pair of black slacks were donned as well.
Making his way out of the closet he approached her unconscious form on the bed. Her face was scrunched up, revealing a nightmare to be in progress.
"Don't... leave me... please..." Sakura whimpered in her sleep. He answered her call by sitting on her bedside, and leaning towards her gently.
"I wont leave you." Gaara murmured just above a whisper before taking her clammy hand in his. She was sweating, and that worried him. The pinkette had to be in good health, he would accept no other state for her.
"Sasuke... Naruto... Kakashi-sensei..." A tear rolled down her cheek before she began to calm back down into a deeper sleep.
The redhead knew these people she spoke of. He remembered their faces almost instantly as his mind pieced together every instance he had experienced with them. Negative they may be, he knew she loved these people.
Sasuke especially, she had risked her life to save him, and Gaara's jealousy punished her for it.
At that thought he sighed, finding all these regurgitated emotions too taxing. Slipping away from her he wandered over to a chair in the corner, opting to sit there to watch over her instead of hovering like a cautious parent.
He was already too attached to her, but he couldn't stop himself. For the first time in ages he genuinely wanted to connect with someone, and for any reason at all.
Loneliness... it pissed him off that he still felt it.
Sakura began to stir, and he wondered how she would react to him being in the same room as her. Would she be afraid of him now? After all he had put her through he assumed the answer would be a very stern 'yes'.
She looked wearily about herself for a moment, not noticing his still form sitting in the corner. She reached for a glass of water, and began chugging the liquid.
"You'll make yourself ill if you drink too fast." The redhead stated calmly enough, but still regretted saying anything when her head whipped towards him like an alerted deer to a hungry wolf.
Their eyes met for a moment, but the she curiously looked him over. Her jade orbs burned his image, tracing every inch of him in a sort of daze. It had him feeling a bit self conscious...
"You're staring at me." As Gaara grumbled he noticed the warm flush to her cheeks at his discovery. Her hands wrung in her lap anxiously before she ended up looking away from him.
"I'm sorry-" Her voice cracked, and her hands went to her chords to touch them with a wince. With an bashful whimper she tried hiding herself in her pillow, as if the sickness would disappear with enough willpower.
However, the redhead could care less about her pride. Suddenly he was on the move making his way to her bedside with the idea of helping her in some way. He hadn't realized just how sick she had become.
"I stand corrected, you're already sick." Gaara peered down at her while she peered up, and without warning he lowered his face down towards her own. Her fear was evident, and as their foreheads touched she closed her eyes tightly to avoid him. As much as that hurt him he still let it slide. "You have a fever."
Sakura opened her eyes with curiosity, and to his delight her irises stared right into his own. The details to her jade orbs were far more stunning then he had initially realized, he could stare into them forever.
The pinkette finally turned her face to the side, but this only revealed her soft hair to his nostrils. He reveled in her scent, breathing slowly to memorize her.
"Even though you're sick your scent is not offensive." The redhead spoke just above a whisper. As her form shivered underneath him he licked his lips on instinct. He wanted so badly just to hold her.
She said nothing, and he felt that reassuring her was best.
"I think I like being around you. Your presence... is comforting..."
A small hitch of breath came over her, and her body clenched up tightly. This wasn't how he wanted her to react around him. She needed to know that he meant her no harm.
Gaara lifted her blankets, and slipped in beside her trembling form. As her muscles tightened further he smoothed his hands around to embrace her waist before burying his face in her hair. As she turned her whole figure away from him he pulled her flush to him, molding his front against her back.
Sakura's heart was beating rapidly for the longest time, and she tried fighting the fatigue that was claiming her as well as his embrace.
"Let me hold you." The redhead ordered, pulling her even closer to him. He noticed how hot her body had become, and it warmed him almost painfully. He could feel every inch of her against him, and it was making him tingle with a foreign feeling.
Her body tensed suddenly, but why?
"You're so warm... you're burning..." He nuzzled his face up to her ear, letting out a relaxed exhale against the shell of it. A light tremble escaped her, and he could feel her entirety move against him.
Remembering some of his sister's words, Gaara tried soothing the pinkette by petting her arms gently. His fingertips savored her smooth skin from her wrist to her shoulder, dragging against the flesh with a feather soft touch. As she began to relax he felt himself smile, which was a rarity for him.
"Sleep..." The redhead whispered in a near inaudible fashion, feeling his own peace as she let out a contented sigh. After a while he rotated her arm so that he could stroke the soft underside of her palm, wrist, and forearm. It was so incredibly soft, in fact her skin was almost softer than his own.
Sakura's soft breathing let him know she had reached a pleasant slumber, and it warmed him to know that he could do that for her.
A soft knock at the door alerted him, and with an irritated huff he left her side to attend to whatever business was calling. His gate was long as he closed the distance to the door, swinging it open with a glare.
"What." Gaara hissed more than what was usual for him, but Baki remained undeterred by it.
"The rebels didn't appreciate your gift, some of them have decided to stalk the border. I need you to take care of them." The jounin remained apathetic, as was the usual interaction between them.
For the first time in a long while, the redhead actually rolled his eyes as he slipped the strap to his gourd over his head.
"I'll leave no more gifts then. Unappreciative bastards." He pushed past his sensei with a grumble before stalking down the hall.
He would have to make this quick.
- ... - ... -
The blood was dripping down his frame, he had been careless in the slaughter.
The ninja on the border had been part of the leaf's resistance, and they hardly held up a fight. However, he had met up with an old acquaintance.
Rock Lee, the boy who had at one time kept Gaara on his toes was now fighting again. Imagine that. However, it was still easy to knock the now young man down regardless of how far he had come in his taijutsu.
Little did Lee know that the redhead had also been practicing taijutsu, the master of sand had become frightfully aware of the fact that his ultimate defense was not impregnable due to said 'green' ninja. The look on Lee's face when he had figured that one out was rather priceless.
Surprisingly, Gaara had left him alive. He told the Lee to go back to wherever it was he came from, and to tell his people to scatter into the wind like the fallen leaves they were. The redhead had no more desire to fight them, and wished for them to go off to find new lives somewhere else for a change.
He knew his words had come off somewhat passive after the brutal slaughter he had committed in front of his old enemy, but he wasn't one to really care about his standing or his pride. He just didn't want to deal with them anymore.
Perhaps it was the fact that Sakura was at one time a leaf kunoichi, and he did not want to cause her pain anymore. He knew deep down that if she found out he was slaughtering her former kin this way she would probably end up crying.
He didn't want her to cry.
"Ah, Gaara! Just the little brother I was looking for!" Kankuro was suddenly walking towards the redhead down one of the kage halls. As he came into a clearer view of his kin he noticed the puppet master begin to grow anxious. "Woah... I see we've been fighting this evening-"
"You can tell Baki that the rebels on the border are dead, I left one alive to tell the rest of the resistance to leave. I'm done with this shit." Gaara sighed wearily before looking at the floor, his body ached from overexertion and no form of rest.
When no answer came, he looked up curiously to see his brother gawking at him.
"What?" The redhead furrowed his naked brows, getting a rather sporadic reaction out of the puppet master.
"Ah! Uh... well... it's just unlike you to be merciful, let alone lose the will to fight." Kankuro scratched the back of his head, laughing nervously as he looked anywhere but at his baby brother.
"Just do as I say. I don't want anyone to call on me for a while, if there's a problem then settle it yourselves." Gaara huffed one last time before turning tail to go to his quarters.
"Gaara, hold on. About Sakura..." The older brother began, forcing the younger to stop in his tracks. "Is she still alive-?"
"That's none of your concern. Tend to your own women for once." The redhead hissed, and the silence behind him told him that there was nothing left to be said.
Gaara walked strongly through the building, gaining as much distance as possible from his nosey brother.
His mind went blank as he found his stairwell, and all he could feel was his blood drenched clothes tugging at his skin roughly with their sticky residue.
The redhead felt numb, blank, tired, and empty. It was the same thing day in day out, bodies piling up to be grinded into nothing but blood.
He was sick of it. Nothing felt good anymore, not even the thrill of a good kill was enough to keep him going. He felt like the walking dead.
Gaara entered his room to find it vacant, and while he would have panicked he felt nothing. His ghostly orbs gazed lifelessly around the room until he heard the sound of running water.
A shower. That's what he needed right now. Without thinking he opened the bathroom door, stepping in unceremoniously to find the shower curtain shut. His hand came up to the dark blue fabric to slide it open abruptly.
He heard her scream with fright, but he still couldn't feel anything. He just stood there, dripping blood onto the floor.
"Oh my god, are you hurt!?" Sakura's concern sounded genuine. It called out to him like a siren's song beckoning him into the water.
Without a word the redhead stepped into the stream fully clothed, not even registering her nakedness.
Gaara wanted desperately to wake up from this nightmare he called his 'life'.
He needed help.