Soft, silky, and cool fabric seemed to surround her. She rolled in it, finding it so soothing against her feverish skin. Sakura felt it, the aches of a heavy fever coming on. What a perfect time to stress herself sick.
The pinkette opened her mouth for a moment, but it was so horribly dry. Wincing as she opened her eyes to daylight she noticed she was no longer in that dirty room with boarded windows, but rather a nicely furnished bedroom with stone walls. She tried sitting up, but her body protested greatly. Next to her on the nightstand was a glass of water, and she drank it so greedily that a little bit dripped down her chin.
"You'll make yourself ill if you drink too fast."
The cup almost slipped from her hand as she whipped her head to face him. She wasn't expecting to see him in broad daylight like this, let alone in a nice living area.
Gaara sat in a chair in the corner of the room, sporting clean clothes, and what seemed to be freshly washed hair. He was calm, relaxed even, which was unlike him.
This felt... odd. He seemed so normal looking the way he did. The black t-shirt and cargo pants seemed to only push this fact. The only thing that still made him look like a ninja was the netting running down his forearms underneath the shirt.
"You're staring at me." The redhead withered with irritation. She ended up blinking out of it with a burn to her cheeks, she most certainly had not meant to be visually dissecting him. It was just so strange to see him looking so... human.
"I'm sorry-" At the sound of her croaking voice she immediately put her hands to her throat. It was confirmed, she really must be sick. With a painful groan she laid back down, and tried hiding in the pillow under her head. She didn't even hear him move.
"I stand corrected, you're already sick." Suddenly he was right next to her bedside, and his proximity made her nearly jump out of her skin. Her jade eyes peeped at him wearily from behind the pillow, and eventually widened as his face came frighteningly close to her own. With a gasp his forehead touched hers, causing her to close her eyes tightly as she waited for some sort of impending doom. "You have a fever."
Sakura opened her eyes with curiosity, however his face was still painfully close to her own. All she could see were his foggy aqua eyes, and the darkness that surrounded them.
Why wasn't he moving away? It was so invasive being forced to look nowhere but into his haunting gaze. Her heart started beating strangely, as if it weren't even her own body controlling it.
' "I said I didn't like your eyes... I lied. They remind me of a person I loved once. I crushed him to death, but I didn't want to." '
At that thought she felt her heart start to break, the memories had her wanting to start outwardly crying. She chose to bury it for the time being, but the idea of a loved one trying to kill her was too much to even imagine. Her captor had a past that certainly shaped who he is today, and she reminded herself not to judge a book by its cover. Even if that book was a frightening murder novel.
He didn't move away, he only continued to stare into her. The former kunoichi had to turn her face away just so she wouldn't breathe on him, but in return she could now hear him breathing softly with how close he was to her ear. His nose pressed into her hair, and took a deep inhale before exhaling through his mouth. The sound, as well as the sensation sent a nervous shiver throughout her whole body. It was such a animalistic thing to do, and for some reason it made her uncomfortable.
"Even though you're sick your scent is not offensive." Gaara spoke just above a whisper sending another bout of tingles down her spine. She also heard him wet his lips, as if she made his mouth go dry or perhaps he was hungry. "I think I like being around you. Your presence... is comforting..."
Sakura tensed, his breath was so warm fluttering against her ear, and his words alone were enough to make her stomach flip. He was so angry yesterday, and now he wanted to be around her. He was an absolute enigma.
Suddenly the redhead was curling up beside her, and the alarm bells began ringing wildly in her head. His hands snaked around her frame greedily while his face nuzzled against her hair. Her whole body tensed, but it was painful due to the fatigue. She could feel him molding against her, it was so strange that she tried turning away from him only to have her backside be pulled back to meet him once more.
Sakura tensed again, finding that she was now being forced into a rather intimate cuddling position with him right behind her. Yet his warmth, and his heartbeat was beginning to lull her sore body. Sleep was starting to fight with her, again, and she felt she was losing.
"Let me hold you." Gaara demanded with a lazy huff, pulling her even closer to him. His arms wrapping around her chest had her wanting to squirm, it was almost a passionate embrace, and far too familiar.
It was then that she felt her stomach churn, something was pressing against her backside making her frighteningly alert. She wanted to push him away, yet she knew that any effort to do so would immediately backfire. For now she accepted the invasive bedfellow, and prayed he wouldn't try to use it on her.
"You're so warm... you're burning..." Her captor nuzzled his face up to her ear once more, letting out a relaxed exhale so close to her ear.
The redhead seemed to be breathing calmly, but the way he was now stroking one of her arms told her that he was still awake. The touch was so light, and gentle, it was as if this young man was a completely different person laying behind her. His fingertips traced from the back of her hand all the way up to her shoulder in a soothing fashion, and she cursed the fact that it was calming her immensely.
"Sleep..." Gaara whispered, sending her into a state of tipping into darkness. He eventually rotated her arm so that he could stroke the soft underside of her palm, wrist, and forearm. It was hypnotic, and she quickly found herself blacking out to the sound of his calm breathing complimented with gentle touches.
- ... - ...
Sakura awoke again, this time she was completely alone in the dark of night. She found an oil lamp burning next to her, giving her only one source of light. She swore there was electricity in this building, but she new they were frugal about such amenities.
Feeling a bit better she got out of bed to pad about the large room, taking the oil lamp with her. She looked through a closet, finding it to be filled with clothes that happened to be Gaara's size. Luckily he wasn't too much bigger than her, so she grabbed a pair of black soft martial arts pants, and a maroon long sleeved shirt.
The pinkette searched behind another door finding a bathroom, making her sigh with relief over the fact that she could take a shower now.
She held the light up to her reflection with a confused curiosity. Looking at herself in the mirror she noticed that her cuts, and bruises were gone. Someone must have tended to her wounds while she was asleep.
Well, Gaara had stated that he didn't want her skin to scar for some reason. For what reason was left unknown.
Sakura sighed, and stripped down. Every mar on her skin had been healed to near perfection. She looked thinner, which startled her a bit, but she didn't look completely malnourished.
The pinkette finally entered a stone shower, pulling the dark blue curtain shut. She turned the water on a higher heat than normal, allowing the steam to wash over her as well as the water. Her head leaned against the sandstone wall, and she savored its coolness.
It was different looking at all the sandstone while she cleaned off, yet it was also quite beautiful the way it changed color under water. She started to rinse her hair-
The curtain ripped open abruptly, revealing the strange young man that she was forced to spend so much time around. With a shriek she covered her body with her arms, but he seemed completely unphased by it.
Something was off, Gaara was completely out of it. His eyes were unfocused with a faraway stare, and his clothes seemed to already be wet-
The ground was red under his bare feet, and it was spreading. Panic filled her to the brim, yet it was surprisingly over the thought that he had taken damage this evening.
"Oh my god, are you hurt!?" The pinkette surprised herself at her concern over his welfare. Since when did she actually care about what happens to this monster?
The redhead ignored her, and stepped into the shower. She backed away from him cautiously while he stepped into the stream of hot water. As it ran over his head a wash of crimson came out of his hair, out of his shirt, his pants, everything. He must have been soaked in it, and the pungent metallic smell was enough to make her almost vomit.
"Let's get this off of you, it's soiled." Sakura didn't understand it, but she was taking the initiative to strip him of his shirt. She peeled the garment off when he compliantly raised up his arms, then wrung it out to release the blood.
There was so much red that poured out, and it unfortunately covered her freshly cleaned body. With a groan she continued to rinse out the shirt until it ran clear. She tossed the shirt up onto the curtain rail to hang, and turned her eyes back to her captor.
He was noticeably toned under his netted top, the muscles were so nicely cut that they had her blinking with surprise. She hadn't noticed when she was trapped in that other room with him, but it was apparent now that he had some good genetics.
'He's really not bad looking, it's just a shame he's so bonkers...'
Without thinking her hands went to his pants that were starting to hang on his hips due to the waterlogged fabric. As she undid the first button his hands molded over her wrists. She looked up to see his eyes studying her in disbelief, blinking with confusion.
"Why are you doing that?" Gaara asked with suspicion, at the tone she immediately went to retract her hands only to find that he had a hard grip on them.
This was a mistake, she was making it out to seem like she was some sort of pervert. However, that was definitely not the case.
"Their filthy, Gaara. You wont get clean while wearing bloody clothes." The pinkette turned her head bashfully. "I wasn't trying anything-"
"It's fine. Just finish it." The redhead placed her hands back where he had found them rather quickly, and it made her flush head to toe over how intimate it was having him guide her hands to touch him. He waited with his lips pressed in a thin line, but she could tell from the expression that his patience was already quite thin. "Do it."
She startled at his light bark, and swayed on her feet nervously.
"O-okay." Sakura swallowed hard, no longer did she feel the mothering intent that she carried before. Now it had turned down a much darker street, but the fact remained that the bloody clothes were far more disgusting in comparison to the awkwardness of stripping him down.
The former kunoichi carefully unfastened his pants leaving her to witness grey boxer-briefs underneath. She had to kneel in able to pull the garment all the way down, and he stepped out of them graciously. Her eyes focused only on the pants instead of the intimidating area at eye level.
'Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.'
With all her will power she ignored him, and stood to perform the process she had done with the shirt. The blood covered her like a horror movie, and unfortunately left trails of red down her naked body as if pointing out the fact that she was indeed nude.
'I can't believe I'm even staying in here with him, I should have just gotten out...'
With another sigh she hung up the pants, and jumped when a netted shirt was practically slapped over the rail next to her hand. Looking over, she found her captor to be completely bare as his underwear was halfway down his thighs.
Sakura had never turned her head so fast in her life, and she found herself huddling over to the corner of the shower. She tried hiding her face in the junction between walls, and let her wet hair shade her eyes even further. What happens now? What were his plans for her? Should she try running?
Fingers went into her hair making her tense up, but the curious thing about it was the sudden smell.
White sage, cedar, aloe, and some sort of herbal floral. She could hear, and feel the lather against her scalp as his fingers moved throughout her pink locks.
He was... washing her.
"Blood... it was in your hair..." Gaara murmured softly, but did not stop his movements. His hands eventually left her scalp to run down her naked frame, smoothing the soapy foam over every inch of her skin. She squeaked, and curled in on herself when he reached her breasts, but he forced through the awkward stance to finish what he was determined to do. When his invasive hands went for her groin she began to pull at his wrists, however his strength was still overpowering her still weakened form. "Stop fighting me."
At the sound of his authoritative tone she conceded knowing that he would probably do something worse if she didn't let him do as he pleased. His fingers rubbed, and lathered what little bit of soap he had left on them. He worked down her legs, then up again to go back between her thighs. She tried turning her body away from him, but he was persistent.
"Stop." The redhead barked at her, but she continued to try to evade his touch. Growing impatient he flipped her around to face him, causing her to yelp with fear. His eyes seemed hurt. "Stop... please..."
'Please? Did he really just say 'please'?' The pinkette blinked at him in disbelief, and was even more confused when his hands reached for hers. He squeezed a bit of soap into her palm before placing the container back off to the side, then he guided her hands up into his red hair.
'He wants me to wash him?' Her hands instinctively scrunched in his red locks, and as she came to realize that he wasn't going to try anything else she began working the soap into a thick lather.
Her captor would lean his head this way, and that way to press her fingers further onto his scalp until she finally noted just how firmly he wanted to be scrubbed. His eyes slowly closed as he hummed with contentment.
This man who was at times a frightening beast was now as innocent as a purring kitten. It almost made her giggle thinking about how he would look with a pair of cat ears.
'Sakura, he's not a pet. Just do this for him and get the hell out.' She scolded herself for thinking lightly of the situation.
Her hands started to travel to his neck, shoulders, collar, chest, ribs, back, and abdomen. She gently washed him, massaging as she went as well to try to keep him relaxed. However she was disturbed by the red foam that started to appear the more she went at it. She had almost forgotten about the smell of blood hiding under the scent of the soap, and the red tint was an eerie reminder.
Her hands stopped at his hips, and it was enough to draw him out of his peaceful reverie.
"Something wrong?" Gaara asked softly, almost shyly if one were to dissect it more. Her jade eyes flicked up to meet his, and she wore an expression of worry on her face.
"I can't... go further." Sakura started to blush at the thought of it, and she had been adamantly keeping her hands and eyes away from the dangerous territory. Suddenly his hand came up, and pressed over her eyes to put her in darkness.
The pinkette panicked, breathing harshly yet did nothing to move out of the blinding grip.
She felt him take her hand, attempting to guide her forward even though she was now trying to pull away.
"Don't think." Right as he said those words her hand molded against his groin. She let out a small whimper of discomfort as he forced her hand to smooth over his genitals.
'Oh no... oh no no no...' Her anxiety went through the roof. There were smooth parts, plush parts, and a strange texture that let her know that she had reached the tip of him. Thankfully he wasn't exactly 'hard', although she felt that might change soon.
He pulsed in her hand, making her yelp in surprise while he stifled a small breathy laugh. When she thought her face would explode from the shame of it he forced her hands down his thighs until they could no longer reach without her having to kneel.
Surprisingly his skin with the exception of his head, and unfortunately to her newfound knowledge his nether region, had no hair to be found. His pale flesh was softer than she could imagine, and she wondered if that's why he looked so flawless.
'The man surrounds himself in sand all the time, of course it would rub all the delicate hairs off.' The former kunoichi mused to herself as her hands continued to glide across his skin. However, it was then that she noticed that he was no longer guiding her, and that her hands were merely stroking along his hips and waist mindlessly. With a small gasp she pulled her traitorous hands back to cross over her chest, imagining him watching her work like some sort of slave girl.
That's what she was though, wasn't she? His slave? Or perhaps he viewed her a step above that now, carrying the title of a pet. That sounded much more mischievous though, and she didn't know if she liked that.
The steam of the shower as well as the situation was starting to overheat her, so she leaned back against the cool wall behind her. He seemed to follow in step, keeping his hand over her eyes to kill her sense of sight.
A hand on the small of her back left her trembling, anticipating the worst as he finally pulled his other hand away from her eyes. The moment the light blinded her she felt the weight of his head on her shoulder, and his arm pulled her tightly against him.
Sakura could feel every inch of her captor, and it should have worried her, but for some reason right now it didn't. When he gave a shaking exhale she could tell that his intentions were actually quite innocent.
The hug was tight, almost painful as well as embarrassing, but she could tell that he was just desperate for affection. Just like the other night when she began to soothe him, stroking his hair while his breath quaked against the crook of her neck. At one point he had placed his lips on her neck, but went no further than that. He simply nuzzled, and breathed painfully.
' "He said he loved me, but then he tried to murder me. I had no choice... I had no choice, Yashamaru..." ' Those words echoed in her head, along with the ones that followed. His hold on her was desperate, and afraid.
'I wonder if he's ever had someone hold him like this before. Has he ever cried with someone? Has he ever held hands? Fallen asleep next to anyone-?' She was quickly reminded that he didn't sleep, and that fact made her heart hurt for him even more. No rest, no time to get away from the pain... just a constant discomfort... constant hatred.
A living hell.
Gaara felt no love, so in return he gave no love. He turned into a monster because of how people treated him, and he hates them even more for fearing him.
'He's so much like Naruto...'
"Don't stop please." The redhead nudged her with his head forcing her to notice that she had stopped petting him. She almost had to laugh at his spoiled behavior, but of course he would be a glutton for affection, it made perfect sense as to why.
She continued, and pet him until her arms grew too sore to hold them up anymore. He had tried whining in protest, but then quickly regained his senses when he saw how exhausted she truly was.
They finished up quickly. He was the one to turn off the shower, and he even handed her a towel before he grabbed one for himself. Her eyes questioned him, and he simply looked away awkwardly.
'This must be strange for him. I'm sure he has nothing to go on for how to interact with people...' Sakura dried off before quickly dressing herself in his own clothes. As he wrapped a towel around his waist he seemed to notice her wardrobe.
"Those are mine..." Gaara stated it rather than accused, so she merely nodded in return.
"I had nothing else, I hope you don't mind me borrowing them." The pinkette wrung her hands, and also fidgeted. Every interaction between them was so horribly awkward, how could he even enjoy having her around?
"I don't mind... it's just odd seeing a woman wear my clothes." The redhead was soft spoken now, and wasted no time leaving the bathroom. She was a bit surprised by the odd behavior, but she chalked it up to lack of social experience.
The night went on like that, awkward and quiet, but when it was time to sleep he was there. Desperate for any nurturing she was willing to give.
She wasn't a love interest at the moment, so she was fine with taking a motherly role for the time being.
'It'll be okay, as long as it stays this way I can handle it.' Sakura thought to herself as she fell asleep in his arms once again.
- …. - …
Another day of bloodshed.
Gaara had claimed he was done with this work, yet somehow he found himself out maiming again. Only this time it was torturing someone for information.
It went well enough, he got the info the council wanted, but it cost him his maroon duster.
Blood dripped onto the floor once again as he trailed down the hall back to his room. He was exhausted, and yet there was to be no rest as per usual.
However, Sakura would be there, and that always seemed to put him at ease.
The redhead entered the room without knocking, finding her to be sitting at the coffee table with a book in hand. He had brought her all sorts of books, any tome she desired he would place in her eager hands.
The pinkette looked up from her reading with a shy smile at first, but then it quickly dropped with concern.
"Again, Gaara? You should really be more careful." She scolded him before placing the book on the table. He watched her curiously as she walked his way, wearing one of his black shirts and-
Were those his boxers? He didn't really know how to feel about that one.
"Why are you wearing my underwear?" Gaara blinked at her as she came up to him, readying herself to tend to his blood soaked attire. She paused before placing her hands on him, and a bright blush came to her cheeks.
"I... didn't realize... I thought they were just compression shorts..." Sakura started to turn completely red, and her hands were suddenly fiddling with the hem of said clothing.
"I'm not upset, I was just curious. If you wish to wear them then you may do as you like." The redhead remained calm on the outside, but something about the idea of her wearing things that he had worn against his own body at one time usually had him feeling strange. This time, however, that feeling had grown tenfold just by the fact that he had worn that underwear just last week... and now it was touching her in the same area.
Why was he so warm all of a sudden? Strange...
"Ah! No, I'll go change!" The pinkette almost squeaked as she turned tail to go into the closet, but he snatched up her wrist before she could truly take flight.
"There's no need, they suit you just fine." Gaara spoke honestly. As odd as the feeling was he rather liked the warmth he felt from seeing her wear his things. It was similar to how he felt when he held her, when she'd pet his hair, or when he'd see her wearing nothing at all.
The latter had him feeling more hot than warm, and he wondered why her nakedness had that affect on him. His mind would grow curious, and the urge to touch her flooded him with impatience. It was why he would disturb her when she would change, or when she would bathe. He wanted to see and touch as much of her as he could, but he tried hard to remain delicate in such situations out of fear of scaring her away.
So he savored any small moment he had, sometimes he tried to make those moments happen on purpose. He didn't know why he craved it, but he did.
"It's... thank you, but... I can't wear these knowing-" Sakura's words were jumbled, occasionally stammering here and there as her hands continued to fiddle with the hem of his boxer briefs resting at the tops of her lean thighs. His eyes wandered down to them, watching her lithe fingers clench at the stretching fabric. "Let's just get you cleaned up, then I'll change. If you want, a nice maid brought a deck of cards for me. We can play a game if you'd like."
'A game?' His eyes came up to hers silently, and when he saw her hopeful expression he found himself unable to deny anything that she wanted.
She was so... beautiful. He understood why that was important to people now. Her appearance made him want to be close to her somehow just so he could continue looking at her.
They called it 'attraction'. He knew that much, and he knew it was something that was sought out in a romantic partner. However he didn't rightly know if he had that desire yet, yes he felt heated around her, and he wanted to touch her, but did he want to actually mate with her? That feeling was completely foreign, and he couldn't tell if that's what he actually wanted from her.
'When mating... the male inserts himself in the female... and tries to inject his seed. That doesn't sound very pleasant-' His thoughts were disrupted when she took his bloody hands, guiding him into the bathroom with her. He followed obediently, and once inside he allowed her to thumb at the blood soaked buttons on his maroon trench coat.
She was smiling to herself, but it was small and hardly noticeable if one didn't pay attention. Perhaps she secretly enjoyed bossing him around.
That was fine, he had decided. He enjoyed her authority over him, it made things a bit easier on him in the face of making any decisions. If he wanted to reassert his dominance he could easily do so, and they both knew that, but for right now there was no need.
'When would there be a need for dominance around her? She hasn't made me want to do such things.' At that thought his mind wandered to what he would actually order her to do if he desired something...
The idea of her undressing in front of him came to mind, as did forcing her to touch him gently. Why it was those particular things he couldn't find an answer, he just merely wanted to see her form... see her vulnerable.
The coat slipped off his arms revealing a black shirt underneath, and for a split second he caught her eyes wandering his frame. Most likely checking him for injuries, he surmised.
She placed the coat in a wicker basket, grimacing at the red liquid on her palms before turning to help him remove his shirt. Once that was over his head the same thing happened again, only a bit slower. Her eyes searched his pale skin, taking in his physical shape with a slight flush to her cheeks.
Maybe she felt similarly about him, like she wanted to see him without clothing. That was an interesting thought. As his hands went to his belt he watched her turn around shyly.
That part always had him curious, something about taking off his pants or seeing what was below the belt had her flustered. Yet he kind of liked her bashfulness, for some reason it made him feel powerful like his body was something greater than she could handle.
But he also wanted her to see him, to look at him the way he looked at her. He wanted her to have that strange desire to touch him too.
Gaara stripped down completely, stepping out of his clothes only to stand patiently for her to turn to collect them.
The silence was deafening, and finally her curiosity got the better of her when he did not hand over his clothes. As her face turned towards him her eyes widened, her cheeks reddened, and her fear took over as she quickly avoided her eyes before scrambling to grab the articles he left on the floor. In a rush she tossed them in the basket, and as she desperately went to escape he grabbed her by the arm.
"Gaara-!" Sakura squeaked as he pushed her up against the wall, the now dry blood on his hands crackled as he gripped into her shoulders. Her eyes shut tightly as her lip trembled, she seemed to be so fearful of this, but he had no intention of doing anything.
"Look at me." The redhead ordered in a low voice, and when her eyes peeped open her flush only worsened. Her breath quaked anxiously as her eyes remained locked onto his own.
As much as he liked her keeping eye contact, this wasn't what he wanted.
"No..." His hand grabbed her jaw, and the base of her neck gently. He began tilting her head down even though he felt her resisting. "Look at me..."
"Why?!" She squealed, and as if to soothe her his thumb circled against the point where her jaw met with her skull. His other hand ran his thumb along her throat with a loving touch. Her breath shook, exhaling sharply through her mouth as he forced her to take in his naked image.
"I have no desire to mate with you... I just want you to look." Gaara tried reassuring her, but she merely trembled under his hands. "What do you see-?"
"You're naked! That's what I fucking see!" Sakura's voice went raw, forcing a feeling of guilt to wash over him, but he remained strong in the face of shame.
"My body offends you?" The redhead questioned, and suddenly her shaking grew more violent. "Are you afraid?"
"You'd like that, wouldn't you-?!" Even though her words hurt him, he still cared for her. He didn't want her to react this way over seeing him in such a state.
"I don't want you to be afraid. I want you to see that my nakedness will not harm you. My flesh is just that; flesh. Nothing more." His touch on her throat and jaw remained soft, and eventually he felt her relax. Her breathing slowed to a calmer state, and it almost had him smiling. "Just as I can look at you, I want you to be able to do the same-"
"That's perverted!" The pinkette argued, but did not bother fighting him physically. Yet her words had him confused, he wasn't trying to pressure her into intercourse. So why was it painted in that light?
"I already told you that I have no desire to act, so why is it that you can't look at me? Nothing will happen." Gaara tilted his head to the side, trying to see her eyes from under her pink locks. She shifted on her feet, but he couldn't see her expression.
"Well, what do you think when you see me naked? That should be enough of an explanation as to why I shouldn't be looking at you." Sakura sighed, and his curiosity took control as he finally lifted her head to look at her in the eyes. She was looking off to the side with a fierce blush, refusing now to make eye contact.
"I don't know what to think when I see you like that. I'm mostly... confused over it, but I don't mind it either." The redhead's words forced her to finally look his way, her expression incredulous.
"Don't play stupid! You're a man! Your main focus is to fucking breed!" The pinkette hissed at him, clearly insulted by his statement.
Although, her words hit at his ego, and that didn't sit well with him.
"How can I even begin to want such things if there is no availability for it? I wouldn't even begin to know how-" He tried to get her to understand, but she refused to hear him.
"It's instinctual! How can you not look at a naked woman and not want to go at it?! It doesn't matter if there's an available woman or not the urge is still there-!" She was yelling at him, pushing at buttons he didn't think he had.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT URGE FEELS LIKE!" Gaara screamed inches away from her face, and not only saw but felt her recoil.
No, this wasn't how he had originally wanted this to go. He just wanted there to be some sort of mutual understanding-
"Are you telling me... you've never touched yourself before?" Sakura bit at him in disbelief, and he was shocked that she still had any fight in her.
His mind tinkered with her words, trying to decipher just what she had meant by it, and yet as his thought process went to work he watched curiously as her eyes widened at him.
That reaction... was odd.
"Oh, Gaara..." Suddenly her eyes went sad, and in response his brow furrowed.
What did he do? Did he mess up? Was he supposed to say or do anything?
"I'm so sorry... god it all makes sense-" The pinkette began, but everything just had him even more lost.
"I'm not following." The redhead shook his red hair, trying to get his brain to figure out what it was that she was implying to. "I'm so confused-"
"It's okay. Forget what I said... just go take a shower." Sakura pet his blood crusted hair, and he almost leaned into her touch.
"Come with me..." Gaara's eyes closed, wanting nothing more than for her to continue petting him. He heard her open her mouth to say something to him, but then retracted whatever statement that was initially there to formulate a different response.
Was this still an issue? They had done it before... so why not now? His eyes opened once more to find her biting her lip in thought
"I already took a shower today-" The pinkette looked off to the side again, avoiding him like the plague.
No, he needed her. He needed her to be around him even if she didn't make a single move or sound.
"Please." The redhead whispered in prayer to her, and when her lashes fluttered he felt he couldn't handle how thick they were. His hands were suddenly tugging at her arms, pulling her to follow him regardless of the fact that she was trying to deny him.
Sakura stumbled on her feet awkwardly as he forced her into the shower with him, whimpering nervously as he turned on the hot water.
"Don't think." Gaara urged, pulling her into an embrace under the steaming stream of water. Her head rested against his bare shoulder while her breathing grew tight with anxiety. He reached for the shampoo, and forced her hand to take some in her palm before guiding it to his head. She went through the motions of washing his hair easily, but when his hands went to clutch at her hips she gave a small squeak.
"This is so wrong-" The pinkette murmured, and in his desperation he shook his head at her.
"I don't care... just stay with me..." The redhead gave a shaking exhale before truly clinging to her frame. He felt her soft curves mold to his firm hands, and her whole figure would bend to fit best in his arms. He could feel her body was relaxed enough to drape against him, and it was wonderful.
"So needy, Gaara. One of these days I'm not going to be able to do this for you." Sakura was stern in her words, but she was still scrubbing his hair gently. His arms clung to her tighter, feeling her drenched clothes crinkle soggily in his grasp.
"I don't want that day to come." He choked, and the being in his embrace tensed considerably. However, she said nothing.
Was it because he wanted her to stay forever? Or was it because he sounded so vulnerable? He was certain that she would never tell him the truth on the matter.
The rest of the shower stayed that way, painfully silent.
- ... - ... -
"Okay, so I think we should play an ice breaker game." Sakura shuffled the deck of cards on the coffee table, the room lit only by oil lamp seemed to set a strange mood for the redhead. As if this game was almost intimate. "It'll play like this; we draw a card and ask questions. From the two up to seven we can ask innocent questions. For example, 'what's your favorite color' so on and so forth."
"What about eight through king?" Gaara interrupted, and funnily enough she shushed him.
"I'm getting to that! Eight through king we can ask questions about our pasts or feelings on certain things, but we keep the questions within our current set boundaries. For example, 'what went through your mind when we met'. Stuff like that." The pinkette let the cards flutter through her fingers as she shuffled, a small smile was currently gracing her beautiful face. "As for the aces we can ask the deep stuff like 'how it feels to be a jinchuriki', or 'what it's like to lose your village'. The painful stuff."
Sakura's smile faltered then, and it hurt him more than he thought it would.
"What about the joker?" The redhead pointed to the two joker cards she had placed off to the side. She blinked at them, and with a shrug she added them to the deck.
"I guess we could spice it up a bit. You can ask a perverted question if you pull a joker." The pinkette smirked, probably pleased that she could come up with something so quickly on the spot.
"Could you give an example?" Gaara murmured, not really sure what exactly a perverted question would entail. She scoffed for a moment, but then quickly came to realize that he was being serious.
"Um... okay, well... I could ask what you fantasize about when you ma-" Sakura stopped herself, and her cheeks flushed. He honestly wanted her to finish her sentence, but she cleared her throat instead. "Ah ha ha... no maybe not... okay... um. I could ask 'are you a virgin' or something stupid like that. Let's just play."
With a curt nod she placed the deck on the table, and motioned him to draw a card. He blinked at the stack, and gingerly took a card from the top.
"It's a seven." The redhead placed the card down on the stone table's surface to show her that he had gotten the seven of clubs. This seemed to brighten her smile a bit.
"Alright! Ask away!" The pinkette beamed with her arms crossed, crinkling one of his maroon shirts.
He thought on his question for a moment, finding it difficult as he had never honestly tried to get to know anyone before. It took about a minute for him to actually formulate something.
"What's your favorite color?" Gaara asked, and her eyes lit up brilliantly.
"Red. It's the color of passion." Sakura giggled, and the sound seemed to tickle his ears.
Also, the fact that she liked the color red made him feel quite light. Obviously his hair was that color, that was a given, but he also liked that color as well. Only, it was mostly because he liked the color of blood, 'passion' was not necessarily the first thing on his mind when he thought saw red.
The pinkette reached forward with a contagious smile, plucking up a card from the top. Her expression dropped for a moment before placing the card down on the table.
Ace of hearts, how ironic.
"Alright, a nitty-gritty question..." Sakura took a deep breath, and he found himself breathing in just the same way. "What happened with Yashamaru... your uncle?"
As much as that memory hurt him he felt almost a sense of relief. Talking about his past was painful, but for some reason it was liberating too. As if it healed him in some way. So this wasn't such a horrible question after all.
He took a breath.
"Yashamaru raised me up until I was six, he was kind and loving during that time, but I quickly found out that it had been a lie." Gaara looked hard at the ace of hearts, almost as if the card was a symbol of his life. A lonely heart, only left to love it's self. "He was ordered to raise me, he wanted to love me as I was his only sister's son. However, he could not forgive me for killing my own mother during my birth-"
"That's awful! You can't blame a baby for that!" Sakura interjected vehemently, and when his eyes found hers he did not see pity. He saw anger. "I hope you don't feel responsible for that, because that is certainly not your fault."
The redhead remained silent, in shock over her strong words. He quickly shook his head of it, returning to his initial train of thought.
"It doesn't matter. At any rate my father ordered him to kill me, if possible. Yashamaru executed that order, but failed in completing it. He hid himself under a mask, and I crushed him until he was hanging to life by a thread." Gaara sighed, leaning back in his chair he covered his eyes with his hand. "He told me he had always hated me, that my mother had hated me, and that I was born from her hatred of our people. I was born with the hopes of destroying everything... I lived up to that purpose."
"I'm... so sorry." Sakura tried to empathize with him, and he found it amusing that her heart would even try such a stupid thing. "Is that why you have that tattoo-?"
"Is this a card you are pulling, or a genuine question?" The redhead lowered his hand, revealing said mark on his forehead. She looked down guiltily at the table, and it made him feel just as shameful that he had made her feel that way. "It's... a scar. Not a tattoo. Up until I was thirteen it was the only time I had ever been physically injured, and I had managed to do it to myself. The first time I had ever felt physical pain, just to carve this symbol on my face."
Gaara sighed, feeling that pain resurface once again.
"To remind me of the one thing I needed most... and the fact that I would never truly receive it. Only I could provide love for myself, and that's the way it will always be-"
"-And since your cup is empty you can't give anything to anyone else. It's why you can't show love or compassion... because it was never given to you to begin with." The pinkette's voice sounded small, and fragile. His eyes found her again, only this time she was the one looking at the lonely card. "You... deserve better."
Something cracked inside him. His eyes went wide at her declaration, and his lips parted in disbelief.
He deserved better? How could she think such a thing? He was a monster that not even a mother could love...
Somehow his heart was beating so fast he thought he was actually dying.
"Please, pull a card. I asked you a very personal question... you should be able to do the same." Sakura gave him a broken smile, and while he appreciated it he also felt that his pain should not be hers to bare. He flipped up a card, finding it to be a quick turn of events.
Joker, fate must be laughing at him.
"I have no clue what to ask..." The redhead stared at the card, but didn't miss her audibly gulp.
"Eh heh. Just go ahead, ask the most perverted thing you can think of." The pinkette seemed to appreciate, and loath the sudden topic change, but he humored her none the less.
What was the most perverted thing that he could think of? He wasn't educated very well on what sex entailed, he only knew the basics of it. Asking her if she was a virgin was counterproductive as he was almost completely certain that she was one.
Perhaps asking her if she ever desired to was the best option.
"Have you ever wanted to participate in intercourse with anyone?" Gaara asked innocently, but still got a blush for his trouble. She squirmed in her chair for a moment before answering him.
"I had, yeah, but that person turned out to be a not so great friend-"
"Sasuke?" He interjected, watching her bristle at the name. Her eyes found his anxiously in the dim light before turning away.
"Yeah. I liked him a lot, but now I kind of hate him. My teammates are bastards." Sakura soured, and he felt that this wasn't necessarily going the way he wanted it to go.
"Just him? Or has anyone else caught your interest?" The redhead pressed, getting a rather flustered expression from her as her jade orbs quickly locked onto his own.
"That's two questions. I answered one, I'm not going to answer another." She snapped, suddenly making it aware to him that there might have been or that there is another man that has captured her interest.
'How curious...' He thought to himself, watching her reach for the next card with a huff.
"King of diamonds. How do you feel about the ongoing war between our nations?" The pinkette was quick to hiss out the question, making him raise a naked brow at her animosity.
"I'm bored of it. I'm tired of killing your people." Gaara answered honestly, but it seemed to have an odd effect on her.
"Do you... kill leaf ninja often?" Sakura pressed him for more information, but there was no need. He would have told her the truth regardless.
"Yes. I killed one today during questioning-"
"Name." The pinkette was suddenly wide eyed, leaning forward desperately. "What was their name!?"
"Kojima. I didn't get a family name from him." The redhead answered quickly, hoping that he didn't actually maim someone she cared about. To his relief she sighed, a visible burden lifting off her shoulders.
"Thank god, I don't know him." Her hand went over her heart, but he felt the guilt continue to sink in.
He decided to tell her about Lee.
"Rock Lee..." Gaara began, and watched painfully as her hands covered her mouth. "I... fought him the other day... but I let him go. He's still alive."
A choked sob came out from behind her hands, forcing him to turn away awkwardly.
"Sorry... I don't know why I brought that up. I didn't mean to-" His words were cut short as Sakura pushed out her chair roughly. His charcoal rimmed eyes flicked over to watch her push herself around the table, growing confused as she flung herself against him with a tight embrace.
The redhead tensed in his chair as she slid down him until she was kneeling on the floor. She held him around the waist tightly, sobbing against his chest while settled perfectly between his open knees. He didn't know how to console her so he did what she always seemed to do for him, and pet her gently on the top of her head.
"Th-thank you... for sp-sparing him..." The pinkette was praising him for his 'mercy', but her voice sounded mournful. It had his heart aching painfully in his chest.
He didn't want to make her cry, or even make her worry. Suddenly her feelings were so important to him that he felt like making any sacrifice possible just for her comfort.
Gaara nodded, finally relaxing in her arms.
He decided then that if she asked it of him, he would not kill anyone who's death would injure her heart. He never wanted to see that look of fear on her face ever again.