Hopefully you guys don't hate me for the shortness of this chapter and Simon. Sorr about all the book references alse, but can you blame me?
So this is an extremelty short chapter, more of as fiter because I can't think about what to do next. AndromedaChaseHerondale, this pretty much answers your question. Guest, I can't answer all you questions but just know I am a fan of Clace. (Spoiler) Also a thanks to Ella Blackrose for your great comment. Thanks to anyone else I neglected.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but plot, everything else belongs to the creative Cassie Clare.
Simon POV
I still can't believe that Clary doesn't love me. Well she does but not in the way I do. Not to mention how I completely screwed up any other chances I might of had with Clary after school.
I told Clary that I didn't want anything to do with her, I wanted to cut off all connections to her. Was that what I really wanted to do to Clary? She may not love me but I am the only person she confides in, so what happens if I cease communications with her?
Thoughts where swirling around my head, manly me blaming myself but I felt like would collapse. It was as if the weight of the world had collapsed on my shoulders, there was no way to describe that. Scratch that, Percy Jackson did in "The Titan's Curse".
"It was the heaviest thing I'd ever felt, as if I were being crushed under a thousand trucks. I wanted to black out from the pain, but I breathed deeply... Afterward, I tried many times to explain what it felt like. I couldn't." Even the great Rick Riordan couldn't explain the pain I was feeling. What Percy was feeling was all physical pain. But It's the emotional wounds that leave the deepest scars.
Who felt the most pain? Had a loved one ripped away from them, for some unjustified reason? Of course, the book reeling the most tears and crying readers. The Fault In Our Stars (WARNING SPOILER FOR TFIOS) Hazel had Augustus taken from her, and he was her true love. "It was unbearable. The whole thing. Every second worse than the last." Seems like Hazel gets it.
When you love a person more then you love yourself, when you would do anything for them no matter what happened to you, when you finally found that someone you can be in a blissful state. But if you get forcefully yanked from that blithe state and get stuck in a life with only memories of them, it can ruin you.
Why did this have to happen to me? I mean it's not like I've done anything regretful in my life. Except admitting to Clary. I'm serious, WHY DOES KARMA HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME!? Was it something that I did? What did I do to Clary to make her detest against me? If I loved her then why couldn't she?
I am sick. I am sick and tired of always being at the bottom. I'm one of the least popular people in the entire school, I was always fine with that. But that was when I had Clary with me. Now I have no one. There has to be some way to get out of this, think Simon! How can I fit in with other people and forget about Clary? There's only one way to do that. Become popular. It was the perfect solution. This way I could have more friends then ever, meet someone new, and to top it all off, anger Clary. Both of us hate the populars. Sorry I hated the poplars, past tense. All I had to do was set up a couple appointments and spend a day at the mall, spending all my money. However, if it worked then I would be reinvented into someone I had always dreamed of being.
"Mom I'm not going to be home until dinner, don't get worried."
"Of course not sweetie. Enjoy yourself."
The end of that call, was the start of the new Simon.
Hopefully you guys don't hate me for the shotness of this chapter and Simon. Sorry about all the book references also, but can you blame me?