Single Lady
The next morning found Alex and K-Unit sitting in the soldiers' room in the same positions as the previous night. When K-Unit had first arrived, they had visited the small supermarket in the conjoining building to the hotel, and stocked up on various snacks to tide over their massive appetites between meals. Unfortunately, they had decided to spend breakfast in the hotel room, planning, and since sensitive information was present, they were unable to order room service.
Instead, they were raiding the fridge; however, this wasn't going to last for very long, as snacks hardly made a meal. Alex had been given the last slices of bread, spread with some traditional paste called 'kaya'. Wolf was onto his third cup of coffee of the day – the coffee cups supplied to the room were much smaller than his normal mug, apparently – Ben was sipping his tea; Eagle nibbled the remains of sushi; and Snake was eating a traditional broth called bak kut teh, cooked with boiling water from the kettle.
"Are you sure you don't want some of this lotus root, Alex?" he asked gravely. "It's very high in nutrients."
Alex shook his head, raising his eyebrows at the items in the centre of their circle. "Do we really need those, Wolf? Grenades and stun guns? How did you even get into the country?"
"We have licences. And of course we need them," Wolf frowned, "Murphy says so."
Ben laughed. "Gee, Wolf, I thought spies were meant to be paranoid, not soldiers! Anyway, anyone want any tea?"
"No," came the long-suffering chorus.
Wolf took out a dirty rag from the pocket of a black bag, and began to dismantle and polish a semi-automatic handgun. The gentle, almost fond expression that adorned his face as he did so unnerved Alex, though it undoubtedly would have been more unnerving had the polishee been a puppy or something equally cute.
Meanwhile, Ben set down his teacup, and approached Alex, reaching out with his hands, grinning when the boy flinched back automatically with a look of horror. "Relax!" He dug something out from his trouser pocket. "See? I just want to bug you – that is, wire you up… ah, you know. Lift your shirt."
Alex glanced away and bit his lip. "Do the bugs really have to go there? Can't they, like, go behind my ear or in my mouth or something?"
His fellow agent frowned in mock-concern. "Aw, is widdle Awex embarrassed of showing his body in front of big, strong men?"
The blond swallowed. Oh, dear God, why? "No, it's not that– "
"Then what does it matter? Come on; take it off and bite your tongue, you animal."
"It's just…"
"What?"
"Can we at least do it somewhere private?"
The man's smirk was positively evil. "Hear that, guys? Our little Cub is growing up! He wants to do it with me somewhere private!"
Snake frowned. "Get your head out of the gutter, Fox." To Alex, he said, "I see no reason why Fox can't wire you here, but go to the bathroom if you really want. And watch out for the knives!"
Knives, indeed. Scattered on every flat surface excluding the floor, hanging on the hooks that normally carried dressing gowns were knives: Swiss Army, carbon fibre and curved kukri.
"Why have you got so many knives?"
Ben had the gall to grin. Again. "It fits with my cutting wit. Where Wolf goes for guns…"
"Right," said Alex, "and what about Eagle and Snake?"
"Eagle tends to go for the gir…" Ben trailed off. "Don't think I didn't notice you trying to distract me. I'm going to get your shirt off whether you like it or not."
"Why, I never knew you felt that way about me–"
"I'm the gutter head here, and stop using old jokes. Come here." Ben lunged at Alex, carefully avoiding the knives.
Alex stepped back. "Why can't you just give me the wires, and I can wire myself up?"
They continued in this little dance around the knives, hopping around and contorting limbs cleverly.
"What are you doing in there?" came a call from outside and Alex, about to step around Ben, hesitated. The older spy, taking advantage, shoved Alex onto the toilet where he was stunned into submission.
"Damn," he said morosely.
"Will you take your shirt off, or will I have to do it for you, little boy?" Ben leered at him, somehow managing to wave the wires suggestively.
Alex contemplated the situation. If he removed his shirt himself, he would at least have some control to the extent of removal. That way, Ben and the rest of K-Unit would never have to know of his 'souvenirs' from his missions. Particularly the one above his heart, and on his navel.
The blond lifted his shirt about an inch.
Ben rolled his eyes, but nevertheless started attaching the wires blindly under the shirt. "Do you mind lifting your shirt a little more? I swear I'm not into jailbait, no matter how close to adulthood you are."
"Jailbait? I don't look like jailbait, do I?" Did he? Jack was always saying he had a baby face…
"No, that was me trying to reassure you."
Idiot. "Well, you weren't doing a very good job of it." Alex lifted his shirt an inch more. Reluctantly.
"Yeah, well MI6 don't hire me for my good bedside manner. If I can fake it when it counts, that's all that matters." He winked before shoving his right arm all the way up Alex's shirt to loop something around somewhere, ignoring Alex's shocked yelp and subsequent attempt to find out if human incisors really could pierce arm-skin.
Ben withdrew before the scientific experiment could begin with an inordinately cheerful, "You beast!"
In between trying to see what exactly Fox had violated on his person and keeping a stern glare on the man, Alex muttered something about sneaky foxes that were altogether too pleased with their sly manoeuvres.
Having done his job, Ben waltzed out of the bathroom as if expecting to be greeted with applause, Alex slinking along behind with narrowed eyes and crossed arms, expecting to be greeted with sympathy, or at least some chocolate. He'd seen Wolf sneak a piece from the fridge earlier.
Despite his violated privacy, as Alex watched Wolf begin polishing another gun, Fox connect some wires to the laptop and Snake offer Eagle nutritious broth, the blond spy gave a quiet sigh of relief that he'd managed to distract Ben from his scars.
xxx
At three o'clock, Snake announced that no, they could not stay in the hotel room until the very last minute, eating (or drinking, as the case may be) snacks and instant beverages from the fridge. Besides, he said, hands on hips, they were as ready as they'd ever be. Wolf had started re-polishing the first guns he'd polished, and Eagle had snuck away to the corner to read furtively, occasionally offering bits of information that he thought Alex should remember. Fox had started grinning at the laptop, typing a word every so often.
"Okay," Alex agreed with Snake, "let's go to the supermarket."
Snake turned his face to the ceiling and sighed. "I pity anyone who goes on trips with you. We're in Singapore! We should be exploring: seeing the sights and absorbing the culture, not eating from a generic supermarket and sitting in the hotel room all day, even if you aren't really here for tourism."
Fox asked with a small frown, "Where do you suggest we go, then?"
"Well," Snake began, face already brightening as he geared up to a micro-speech, "I read this great article on Chinatown –"
"But there's a Chinatown in England!"
"This one's different. Anyway, I thought we could go there."
Wolf looked up from the gun he was polishing. "I'm hungry."
"That's because you've had nothing but coffee all day," Snake smiled triumphantly. "How about the rest of you?" He turned to Eagle.
Eagle put his book down. "What wouldn't I give for a pop biscuit or a hot-and-cold goody or a google bun," he sighed wistfully.
The rest of the room stared at him.
"What?" laughed Ben.
"They don't exist; not in this world," Eagle huffed, "if they did I'd give you a toffee shock…"
"Are you hungry or not?" demanded Snake.
Eagle crossed his arms. "I suppose. Don't mind me, if you're going to be so mean about it." He turned back to his book and turned a page before muttering, "Why are there always more drinks than food in the fridge? I really would kill for some food."
"As would I," Alex reminded everyone, "I'm a growing boy."
Wolf put down his gun. "I'm with Snake. And Cub, and Eagle." His argument was simple: "Food."
Against this show of solidarity, Fox conceded.
The men armed themselves and filled their backpacks with all manner of miscellaneous equipment they thought would come in handy. Despite the man's love for knives, Ben also equipped himself with a gun. "It's unlikely in a fight that I'd actually have the time to use a knife properly. I use them for general wire-cutting and other interesting stuff."
Alex himself packed up his manbag; it had faithfully served him well so far, and he couldn't bear to part with it, should something go horribly wrong. In it, he stocked up on money and complimentary food from his own room. He also stashed all the bottles of shampoo and conditioner he could find – hey, free stuff was free stuff. It could be useful sometime.
And then they were off.
xxx
Eagle gawked at the large red oriental building located right outside the market. "What's that?"
"Hmmm?" Snake mumbled absently, "oh, that's the old Buddhist Temple. Don't dawdle. What do you think we'll need? Starfruit and jackfruit… Persimmon? Yes. And maybe chiku."
"I really have absolutely no idea what on Earth you're talking about, Snake, but I agree with you nonetheless," Wolf said, in the longest speech Alex had heard him speak since the reunion of K-Unit and Alex.
"Come on, then," urged Fox, "leave Eagle to look at the Temple while we get some food."
The three men started to walk away, leaving Alex conflicted between following them and showing solidarity towards Eagle.
The decision was made for him when Eagle suddenly jerked his head away from the Temple and jogged after the rest of his team, crying, "Don't leave me behind! I'm hungry too..."
When he caught up, Ben smirked at him. "You know we weren't really going to leave you behind, right?"
Eagle scowled.
"We knew you'd follow like a good little puppy – or should I say homing pigeon."
"I'm an Eagle. Not a pigeon!"
Alex got the feeling this was an old joke.
"If anything, you're a puppy," Eagle sulked. "For following your baser instincts for food and having no appreciation for other cultures."
"Other cultures, my arse. You wouldn't know culture unless it was a pretty woman feeding you some drivel about a native mating dance."
Eagle glanced at Alex, who quickly looked into the middle distance as if he hadn't been paying attention.
"Fox!" Eagle stage-whispered. "There are children about!"
Ben's glance was nothing but amused. "Speak for yourself."
They entered the market, still bickering.
"Right," said Snake, "We're going to get some fruit. And I don't– " he glared at Wolf, who was muttering under his breath about rabbit food, "I don't want any complaints. You've had your unhealthy breakfasts; you're going to have healthy lunches."
"You sound like my mother."
The floor of the market was wet with, explained Snake, water ("Obviously", muttered a snide Eagle) that the Singaporeans used to clean the floors, and keep fruit and vegetables ("Rabbit food," mumbled Wolf) fresh, and keep the fish and other seafood alive should they escape ("Be freed," sang Fox). Alex stayed silent and made sure to walk carefully so that the water didn't splash above his ankles.
Snake led them past tanks of fish and eels, and nets with frogs and turtles, past flower stalls and rows of meat to the very back of the market where, surrounded by shadows, shrewd ancients gazed critically over fruits shaped like tumours.
"Are you sure any of this is edible?" muttered Eagle, peeking over Snake's shoulder. "They look like painted dinosaur fossils."
"Don't be stupid; of course they're edible. I wouldn't try to poison you, would I?"
"You never know," was the rejoinder.
Snake rejected some of the more recognisable fruits: lychee, pomegranate, and pomelo. He bartered briefly with a wizened old man over a dragonfruit, before deciding that it wasn't worth it.
Eventually, all he managed to buy was a bunch of longan, a sad-looking jambu and a 'golden egg fruit', which looked less like an egg, and more like a yellow aubergine. To the bored mutters and whines of his teammates, he said, "Come on, let's find somewhere to eat."
They followed him out of the wet market, and up to the food court where tantalising smells taunted the unit. Ignoring Eagle and Wolf who were the most vocal about their complaints, Snake took a hotel water bottle from his backpack and started to wash the fruit over the floor.
"Guys..." Fox wheedled.
The Scotsman sighed. "Not you too."
"No, guys..."
"You're going to eat this whether you like it or not."
Alex looked at Fox. The agent's skin was paler than normal, and his fingers had started twitching, as if reaching for a non-existent knife.
"Snake!" pleaded Fox.
"What?!" The aggrieved man finally looked up, before seeing his teammate's face and following his gaze.
"Wolf's girlfriend is coming towards us with a gun…"
Now Wolf, who had been gazing sullenly at the many food stalls turned his head to look. "Ex-girlfriend. And I see no gun."
"That's because you're blind," joined Eagle.
"Do you see the gun?"
"No."
"I don't see the gun either," said Snake.
"Oh, come on," groaned Fox. "Alex, you see the gun, right?"
Four pairs of eyes turned to the teen. He shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah."
Wolf looked ready to argue, but Fox slapped his forehead. "Why are we arguing about this? You trust me, right? So if she's coming towards us with a gun – and she doesn't look happy – we should be running. Or attacking."
"Not attacking," muttered Snake. "There are civvies about. We don't want to cause a national scandal or something. And there's no gun."
"Oh yeah? Willing to bet your life on that?"
In the meantime, Wolf's ex-girlfriend had managed to gain at least three metres of them and, as the men and teen started to leave, she raised a dangerous-looking fruit covered in spikes from a hidden pocket in her skirt and threw it with great speed at them. It splattered pink juice everywhere. She grabbed another large fruit and broke into a trotting jog, hurling fruit every which way.
And then the screaming started.
"We need to split up," Wolf barked. "Meet as soon as you can with icy. We need to get to that hotel"
Alex grimaced. "Yeah, sure."
As the men left on their separate ways, Alex swerved around a food stall and burst through a door. Behind him, the screams were dying away, replaced by whimpers and sobs. A heavy feeling settled in his stomach.
Alex stumbled as fast as he could down the wide staircase that the door had opened to. As he reached the bottom, he slowed and listened carefully. No splatting fruit. No sound.
He edged out into the sunlight, peering hard. Wolf's girlfriend – ex-girlfriend – was nowhere in sight.
With tentative steps, Alex exited the stairwell onto the pathway and into the blinding afternoon sun.
Nothing happened.
Alex took another few steps away from the safety of the stairwell.
Nothing.
He breathed a gusty sigh of relief. Nothing, not even a passing car. Had Murphy forsaken him? The blond shrugged and started to walk quickly away.
Click-click-click!
A quick glance behind him showed Wolf's girlfriend round a corner, catch sight of him, and begin to totter at an impressive speed on her homicidal heels.
Alex ran through the walled footpaths that closed in on him like hallways, round the twisting, turning corners, past gaudy lantern-adorned shops and statuettes of fat Buddhas.
She chased him uphill, downhill and on the flat like some swaying tower of menace, clicking as she went. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Alex didn't know why she was after him instead of Wolf, but there was no time to think.
Click-click-click!
He flew past startled Singaporeans and tourists alike, who stepped, blinking, into the sun. There was more to see than could ever be seen in this country of jungle and gleaming spires, but he missed it all as he ran from the clicking menace behind.
Eventually, he managed to lose the woman and her heels and fruit outside a bright blue Indian-like religious place.
Alex looked, panting, around.
Well, the place looked familiar. But so did so many other places in Singapore. The country was cramped and confusing, and… Well, like England. But without all the home-country experience that enabled him to navigate good old London with ease.
So where was he?
Alex choked back a hysterical laugh. Escaping, all to wind up starving to death or something because he didn't know where he was. He'd have to spend the rest of his life on the run, a fugitive, forced to the jungle where he would become a wild man or something, like Bear Grylls.
An elderly woman seemed to sense his despair and approached him.
"You lost?" she asked.
He stared at her. "Yes."
"Where you go?"
Where did he…? Alex racked his brains. "Fullerton hotel."
The woman nodded. "I take you," she said, and then she turned around and started walking away*.
Bemused, Alex followed.
She took him up a road lined with terraced shophouses of almost every different colour: yellow, blue, red. Crossing a road, they transitioned to steel and glass buildings, with Singaporeans in suits, and swanky cafés that served Western food. Past the OCBC bank, and a burger shop, with colonial houses on the other side of the road. Water features and palm trees and road works.
Eventually the woman stopped and pointed at a large white building. "There. You go there."
Alex thanked her gratefully, and with a pleased demeanour, she wandered off.
*This might seem a little unrealistic, but it has happened to me on numerous occasions, so I thought it was worthy of an inclusion in this story.