Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide (not the main OC)
How Far We've Come
It was just another night at Molly's, the music light, laughter filling the air, and alcohol flowing. Sam sat at the bar listening to one of Hermann's stories on how he was going to surprise Cindy for their anniversary. She knew the two loved each other and yet she had always wanted to question Cindy on how she dealt with Hermann's crazy ideas.
For a moment her eyes trailed to the clock by the door as it ticked closer to 8:32. A time she would never be able to forget because it happened to be the exact time her brother had been pronounced dead at the hospital after a drive by shooting exactly three years prior. To this day, the sight of his blood soaked shirt too easily came to the front of her mind.
"You okay?" Kelly nodded to Sam, tilting his head to catch her line of sight as he sat down next to her.
She shrugged, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you're drinking whiskey."
Sam offered him a small smile, she should know better than to try and hide what was going on from Kelly but how was she supposed to explain to someone else how she was feeling if she wasn't even sure herself; instead she took another sip from the tumbler and turned to Herrmann, "So, tell me about this new candidate."
"He seems okay so far," Herrmann answered, refilling her glass but only halfway. "He listens so that's something."
Sam rolled the glass between her hands, "Is he hot?"
Herrmann playfully threw the rag at her as Kelly rolled his eyes. "I was just asking! You firemen are all so strong. Some times a girl likes to be thrown around a bit."
Gabby laughed as the men made an array of faces, "You better stop while you're ahead you're going to end up giving one of them a heart attack."
"Good thing you're here to save them," Sam winked, taking another sip of her drink.
Kelly watched her closely because even though on the surface she was making light conversation and joking around with everyone he could see that she was silently dying on the inside every time it flashed through her eyes. She'd take a brief moment to clear the thought from her mind by taking another drink and go back to pretending everything was okay. He wasn't going to push her though, he knew she would come to him if she was truly in trouble or needed help though it didn't mean that he couldn't worry in the mean time.
"Speak of the devil," Gabby motioned to the front of Molly's where Jimmy, the new candidate, had just walked in.
Sam ran her hands through her hair as she ordered two beers from Gabby before making her way over to the candidate. The two watched as Sam threw her head back in laughter at whatever Jimmy had just said. Gabby leaned against the bar keeping her voice low so that only Kelly could hear. "How she doing with everything? I didn't expect her to even get out of bed today."
Kelly watched as Jimmy put a hand on the small of Sam's back as they moved off to one of the tables on the side. "She's handling it."
X-X-X
The night had winded down, Kelly switching to soda hours ago as he waited to see when it was all going to become too much for Sam and she finally broke down but it hadn't come yet.
"Hey," Kelly came up behind her, placing a hand on the small of her back as she swayed a bit on her feet from the liquor. "I'm heading out, you ready to go?"
She turned and lightly pushed on his chest, "Oh c'mon, dad. It's only one o'clock there's still drinks to be drunk and songs to be danced to and boys to-"
"Okay, let's go," He cut her off, trying to direct her toward the door.
She fought against him, thinking he was just messing around but when she realized he was actually making her leave she wretched her arm out of his grasp. "Stop it!" The exclamation drew the attention of the few people that were left in the bar.
Kelly didn't care how many people were staring, she wasn't thinking straight, and there was no way he was going to leave without knowing she got home safe. "Enough, Sam. It's time to go sleep it off."
"No, I'm not ready to go home." Her answer was defiant but the emotions she was trying to keep under wraps all night started to seep through her voice.
Kelly took a deep breath his face softening a bit as he carefully took the drink out of her hand and draped his jacket over her shoulders. "Come on, you can stay with me tonight."
They were a block away from Kelly's apartment when a car backfired causing Sam to scream and drop to her knees, instinctively covering her head from what she had perceived as a gunshot.
"Whoa," Kelly barely caught her and knelt down next to her on the sidewalk, "Hey, look at me. You're okay it was just a car."
She took a few deep breaths trying to calm her nerves because at the moment she felt as though her heart was going to beat out of her chest. "I thought…"
"I know."
X-X-X
Kelly woke up next morning and after stretching out his sore muscles from sleeping on the worn couch he went to check on Sam but instead of finding her in bed where he had left her the night before he found her curled up on the bathroom floor next to the toilet.
He leaned in the doorway and watched as she moved ever so slightly to be able to see him without having to lift her head off of the floor. "I'm on my death bed."
Kelly tried to hide his smile, "You have a hangover."
"It's was nice knowing you," she groaned, curling further into herself, pulling the towel off the rack to use as a blanket. "You can have my music collection when I'm gone."
"You have shitty taste in music."
"Screw you, asshole. It's not nice to insult someone who is dying."
Kelly rolled his eyes, "You want to go back to bed? Need a glass of water or something?"
She grunted in response, closing her eyes in hopes that when she woke up she wouldn't feel so horrible.
"Okay, well, I am going to go grab something greasy for breakfast and when I get back I'm throwing your ass in the shower."
X-X-X
It took Sam most of the next day to start feeling like herself again. She felt foolish for how she acted but knew deep down that she had a valid reason but it was a new day and she was going to push forward.
Cruz threw his cards down on the table as Sam pulled up to the firehouse. She smiled at everyone as she came into the bay with a tray of fresh baked cookies. Capp kissed her on the check as she handed him his own container of brownies just the way he liked them.
"Are you driving Kelly's car?" Cruz questioned, not even caring about the goodies she had brought in that the rest of Squad was already digging into.
She shrugged, pushing her sunglasses up so that it held her hair back, "Yeah."
"But he doesn't even let me borrow it!"
Sam sat down at the head of the table where Kelly normally sat and picked up his hand of cards, deciding he was going to bet this hand. "I'm a better driver."
Cruz stood there with his arm outstretched to the truck behind him. "But I drove for 81!"
"Wanna cookie?" She offered, gaining a laugh from the rest of Squad. When Cruz didn't answer she motioned to his cards. "Are you going to bid then because I'm telling you Kelly has an awful hand."
As if he heard his name, Severide walked out from the building, "You're not supposed to tell him what cards you have. That's the whole point of poker."
Squad thinking they were actually going to beat Kelly for once all bid up their hands until it got back to Sam who smiled as she laid down her hand showing a straight flush beating out everyone sitting around the table. Getting up so that Kelly could have his seat back she grinned, "I know how to bluff."
"That's cheating!" Cruz complained as she laughed as she walked past him to start cooking up some lunch for the crew.
X-X-X
"Have you and Severide ever…?" Brett asked as Sam moved around the firehouse kitchen as if it were her own.
When Brett first started there she had been a bit envious how easily Sam fit into the group when she didn't even work there but over time Brett realized that it was all because of Sam. She was the easiest person to get along with, to talk to, and would go above and beyond for those that she cared about.
"Ever what?" Sam questioned back, confused at where this was going as she gave a few of the scraps to Pouch who was waiting patiently by her feet.
Brett glanced around the room to make sure they wouldn't be over heard. "You know…" When Sam just stared at her, Brett shifted on her feet feigning annoyance that she was actually going to have to ask Sam straight. "Ever sleep together."
Sam burst out laughing, causing Pouch to bark playfully, "No."
Brett stared at her not believing it for a second, "I've never seen him act like he does around you to anyone else."
"I swear," Sam held up her hand, "he's like a brother to me. He's my very best friend. There's nothing I can't tell him or go to him for and that goes both ways. There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for him."
Brett shook her head, "Sounds like love to me."
"You watch too many movies, Snow White."
X-X-X
She had stayed through lunch with the crew at the firehouse but needed to get home and unwind from the last few days. After a long shower and making a hot cup of tea she had settled on the couch with a few movies.
Sam shuffled through the pile of blankets on the couch searching for her phone as it began to ring incessantly. Hold on, hold on, I'm coming, she repeated in her head as the song continued to play. Quickly checking the caller ID she saw it was her sister in law Callie.
"Hey, Cal," she answered, "Sorry about that you know I can never find this thing when I need to."
"Sam," her voice was soft but pleading and it set Sam's nerves on edge.
"Callie, what's wrong?"
"I just wanted to call and tell you how sorry I am for all the trouble I cause you."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Sam's blood ran cold realizing she was too busy dealing with her own grief on the anniversary of her brother's death she had never even thought to check in on her sister in law.
"But you don't have to worry anymore because from now on I won't be around."
"Callie? What's going on? You're starting to scare me. Just talk to me we can figure it out. Where are you?" Sam started to pull her shoes on while balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder. Grabbing Kelly's car keys, she ran out the door ready to head to wherever she needed to.
"I'm sorry."
"Listen to me, there is nothing to be sorry about, okay? Tell me where you are and I'll come for you right now."
"I just miss him so much."
"I know you do, honey, I know you do."
"The last time he told me he loved me was right here."
Sam drove as fast as she could to the bridge, talking to Callie along the way because as long as she kept talking it meant she wasn't going to jump and that was something that Sam would never let happen. Seeing one of her very best friends standing on the other side of the railing only holding on by her finger tips made Sam physically ill but she swallowed her fears as she sprinted from the car barely putting it in park.
"Stay back!" Callie cried.
Sam stopped where she was, a mere ten feet away from her with her hands up showing she wasn't a threat. "Callie, talk to me. What's going on?"
Sam heard sirens and internally thanked any higher power that was listening that someone had called 911. She knew that 51 would be the ones to respond but at the moment she couldn't tear her eyes away from Callie in fear that the second she looked away she would jump and it would all be over.
"Hearing isn't as important as listening," Callie sobbed, tears still streaming down her face. "Every one wants to hear this sad story of mine but no one wants to listen!"
"I do!" Sam promised, taking a step closer ignoring the warnings she was now getting from 51 behind her. She vaguely heard Boden telling the rest of them to prepare for the worst but to allow her to try and talk her down first. "I'm here to listen for as long as you need about any and every thing. I just need you to come to the other side of the railing. Can you do that for me?"
"No," Callie shook her head.
Sam stepped closer and she could feel Kelly behind her mirroring every step she took. "Yes you can. Cal, look at me. It's just you and me out here right now, okay?"
"I miss him," Callie cried, "I miss him so much it hurts. We had our whole lives ahead of us. It's not fair! He was a good guy!"
"The best!" Sam agreed, reaching her hand out over the railing for Callie to grab onto. "Tommy loved you so much! There was never anyone else that had his heart but you. What can I say that will make you change your mind?"
"Nothing."
Callie let one hand go and Sam grabbed onto her jacket, trying to keep her from going over the edge. In the moment, fear over took Callie as she clung to Sam, dangling above the water beneath her. The weight was too much for Sam to hold up on her own and the momentum of reaching for her sister in law ended up propelling them both off the side of the bridge.
Kelly jumped in after them without a second thought as the rest of 51 hurried down to the edge of the river. He came back up for air four times before he finally emerged from the water with a limp body. He pulled Sam along to the edge, attaching the rope to her for the guys to pull her up.
Brett and Chili went to work on Sam right away, starting chest compressions to get her breathing again as Kelly dove back into the water with Capp to search for Callie. Seconds turned to minutes before Sam started to cough up water and gasp for breath, the crew of 51 letting out a sigh of relief that was only short lived as they helped pull Callie up to the shoreline.
Blood stained her shirt and when Brett pulled it up to take a look at the wound she saw pieces of her intestines. Checking her pulse, Chili shook her head to those standing and waiting.
"Cal?" Sam called out, trying to push herself over to where her sister in law lay on the ground.
Kelly moved in front of her to block her view, "She must have hit something in the water when she went in."
"No," Sam whispered, her breathing still ragged from the fall. "I was right there with her. I'm fine!" She tried to push past Kelly, "Callie!"
He easily held her back and she cried into his chest, feeling as hopeless as Callie had felt just a few short moments ago.
X-X-X
Sam was curled up on the couch, Kelly sitting with her.
"You are always saving me. I thought I could save her."
Kelly kissed the top of her head, pulling the blanket off the back of the couch to cover her up. "You did everything you could."
"It wasn't enough." Sam adjusted her head on his chest as she stared off in front of her. "I should have been there for her…realized that she was still hurting."
"No one could have seen this coming."
"Tommy would have."
Kelly tightened his grip on her for a moment, trying to reassure her anyway that he could, silently letting her know that she wasn't alone. They sat in silence for awhile and Kelly thought she had fallen asleep she had been still for so long that it startled him a bit when she spoke again.
"I can't believe she's really gone. I feel like I let him down. I was supposed to take care of her and I couldn't."
X-X-X
She stared at the black dress that hung in front of her. She hated it. She hated the fact that putting it on meant that she had to say goodbye to someone else that she loved. The first time she had worn it was for her father's funeral and Tommy had told her how grown up she looked wearing it. She had worn it to Tommy's funeral knowing he would have teased her relentlessly if he had been around and she wasn't dressed to the nines for her own brother's funeral.
How Callie had died and Sam lived she would never be able to figure out. Pushing herself off the bed, she took the dress off the hanger and stormed out to the kitchen where she shoved it in the trash.
Sam took a cab across town to the little hole in the wall bar that opened at noon every day. The cigarette smoke would have bothered her on any other day but she barely noticed it as she slid onto the stool next to her mother.
"Sammy," her mother sighed, tapping the end of her cigarette into the ashtray. Sam ordered a bourbon and took one a cigarette from her mother's pack, lighting it, before blowing the smoke slowly out of her lungs. "What are you doing here?"
Sam shrugged, taking another drag from the cigarette. "What? Not up for a little mother-daughter bonding time, ma?"
Her mother glanced at her daughter beside her, "I heard what happened to Callie. Girl lasted longer than I thought she would. She didn't know how to breathe without your brother it was only a matter of time before she suffocated."
Sam stared in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
"Don't be so dramatic, Samantha." Her mother rolled her eyes, blowing smoke into her daughter's face. "You're the one looking to drink her problems away. You could have gone to any other bar…you could have drowned your sorrows at home…or even riding them out with some guy who wouldn't even remember your name but you came here. To this bar. To me."
Sam finished the drink in front of her and motioned to the bartender for another. "God forbid I actually thought you'd be a mother for once and actually give a shit."
"I gave a shit before the world took away the best thing in my life. I loved your father with every bit of my heart and if it wasn't for you and your brother I would have swan dived off the bridge just like Callie. The only good thing that came of all of this was that they didn't have any children together. She didn't have to be reminded every single day of Tommy's death by seeing him in their children's faces."
X-X-X
"Borrelli," Kelly got the candidate's attention as he walked into the firehouse to start his shift.
Jimmy turned at the sound of his name, "Yeah, Lieutenant?"
"Have you talked to Sam?"
"Not since the other night," he answered. At first he thought this might be some kind of talk about how not to date his friend but he got the feeling something else was going on. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, just curious."
Casey and Gabby shared a look before the latter followed him back to his office. "What's going on with Sam?"
Kelly checked his phone for any missed calls or texts and shoved it back in pocket. "I don't know. She never showed up for Callie's funeral."
"I'm sure she's just figuring out how to deal with it all," Gabby offered. "Remember for Tom's funeral we had to basically drag her there." When Kelly still didn't look convinced Gabby added, "If no one hears from her within the hour we'll go check on her."
X-X-X
Sam kept her sunglasses on as she walked through the bay and into the firehouse, careful to avoid anyone on shift. There was only one person she needed to see at that moment and she was happy to see he was in his office alone. She knocked lightly on the open door to get his attention and he spun in his chair to see who it was as she stepped in and closed the door behind her.
"Rough night?" He teased, noticing her sunglasses as she sat at the end of his bed. He instantly knew this wasn't just one of her visits. "Sam?"
Slowly she took the sunglasses off revealing a black eye and a few scratches on the bridge of her nose.
"The hell happened?" Kelly scooted his chair closer, brushing the hair away from her face so he could get a better look. "Did someone do this to you?"
"No," she shook her head, a single tear rolled down her cheek. "I don't know."
A hand on her knee, letting her know she was safe now, he leaned down to catch her line of sight. "What do you mean you don't know?"
"I don't remember." Before he could question her further she continued, "Callie's death…I can't get that day out of my head. It's the only thing I see when I close my eyes. I was right there. I literally had my hands on her and it wasn't enough. I let Tommy down." More tears spilled down her cheeks, "I know I should have said something sooner but I thought I had it under control and I didn't know what to say and I just feel like I'm drowning in it all."
Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61 structure fire 65th and Main.
Kelly paused just for a moment and as Sam nodded to him letting him know she wasn't going anywhere. He kissed her on her forehead and ran out to the truck leaving her behind in his office only hoping she would be there when he got back.
X-X-X
He returned a little over an hour later and went directly back to his office to make sure Sam was still there. He saw her curled up on his bed, sleeping. Standing in the doorway he watched her, arms crossed.
Hermann came to stand next to him, "She's a tough girl. She knew she needed help and she came to you. That's all we could ever ask for."
Kelly didn't respond. He knew that Hermann was right but he also knew that Sam had hit rock bottom and he'd do anything he could to get her out of that dark hole.
He closed the door carefully so that her sleep wouldn't be disturbed and made his way back out into the common room where he was stopped by Borrelli.
"Lieutenant, can I ask you something?" When he was sure he had Severide's attention he continued. "I know Sam has had a lot going on recently but we seemed to really hit it off the other night…" he trailed off as he heard Mouch and Cruz chuckling at the exchange.
Kelly stared Borrelli down, not letting the younger man see how much he was enjoying this.
"It's just the Gala is coming up and I'd really like it if she came with me."
Kelly was silent a moment, choosing his words carefully, "Oh, you would?"
Borrelli refused to back down, seemingly swallowing his nerves as he nodded. "She can say no if she isn't up to going."
"Damn right she can," Capp mumbled starting the break the serious expression on Kelly's face.
Finally, Kelly broke, clapping his hand on Borrelli's shoulder. "I'm not her keeper. Go ahead and ask."
X-X-X
"Oh my God," Gabby breathed out, her mouth falling slightly open at the sight of Sam walking into the fireman's gala on Jimmy's arm.
The small group that she had been standing with turned to see what had caught her attention. Sam was wearing a navy blue floor length silk dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. Her normally tied up hair hung in loose curls over her shoulders and Kelly noticed the necklace her mom had given her hanging around her neck.
"Are they a thing now?" Brett questioned and Gabby shrugged in response.
Kelly, however, couldn't take his eyes off of her. She fit in so easily with the people he worked with every day. She lit up whatever room she was in at the moment.
"Samantha," Benny greeted her, "You look lovely tonight."
She forced a smile, her nails biting into Jimmy's jacket to keep from lashing out at the elder Severide in front of her. "Thank you, Benny."
"Here I thought you would have come with Kelly. Could it be that ship has finally sailed?" He patted Jimmy on the shoulder as he went to walk away, "looks light you might actually have a shot now, son."
After making sure Benny was out of earshot Jimmy turned his attention back to Sam. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing."
Jimmy got called over by his brother, Danny, and Sam let him go saying she would grab them some drinks. Standing at the bar waiting for her wine and his beer she felt a hand on the small of her back that sent shivers up her spine.
"You look amazing." He whispered in her ear, before stepping to the side to set his empty glasses down at the bar. "Amazing and annoyed."
"You don't look so bad yourself, Severide."
"Wine?" Kelly questioned as the bartender set her order in front of her.
"At least I can look classy as I get drunk."
He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. "Have fun tonight and find me later if you need a ride home."
"My night in shining fireman gear."
Sam found Jimmy talking to Danny over in the corner and joined the pair, overhearing his brother stating, "…I'm just saying be careful. Sam is known for going after firemen just like her mother and when it ends badly they have to deal with Severide. Just make sure it's worth all the trouble before she goes jumping to the next fireman."
Jimmy didn't have a chance to reply and as he went to apologize to Sam she shoved the beer in his hand, turning to look his brother in the eye. "There something you wanted to say to my face?"
"Nope, just having a conversation with my brother."
"Keep my name out of your mouth while you do," Sam fumed and Danny put his hands up in mock surrender sending his brother a wink before walking away completely. Jimmy immediately started to apologize and Sam shook her head. "Maybe it was a mistake coming tonight."
"Sam…" Jimmy tried but she just offered a sad smile as she went to find Kelly.
She found him throwing back another beer as Casey finished some story about when he had first joined 51. She slid into next to him and linked her arm with his own. "That offer still stand to bring me home?"
He free hand on top of her hand that was holding onto his arm. "Always."
"Can I stay with you tonight?"
"Yeah, everything okay? Did Borrelli...?"
"No, no Jimmy was a gentleman all night."
X-X-X
Things had just been getting back to normal or as normal as they could be when Sam got the one phone call that was her worst nightmare. She raced to the hospital and through the emergency room doors in search of Kelly. She finally found one of the nurses she had met when Hermann had been in the hospital and she pointed Sam in the direction of the doctor that was taking care of Kelly.
"I'm sorry but he's in critical care at the moment."
Sam tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "I understand that. I really do. But Benny, his dad, won't be here for another couple of hours and I don't want him waking up alone."
"Are you family?"
Every fiber of her being wanted to scream yes but she slowly shook her head, "No, no I'm not."
"Then I'm sorry," the doctor patted her shoulder before stepping away.
Sam heard the doors close behind him and without thinking she turned, punching the nearest wall that she could trying to get out some of her frustration -not that it helped. She composed herself the best she could and made her way into the waiting room that had been filled with everyone in 51 in just a short time.
Boden was the first to speak as they saw Sam round the corner, "Any word?"
"Just that he is critical," she started and had to pause for a moment to get her emotions in check. "No one can see him and they won't give me any more information until Benny gets here."
Boden pulled her into a hug and could feel her fighting back the tears. He locked eyes with Brett and Chili over Sam's head and gave a slight nod, silently asking them to pull any favors they could. If they weren't allowed back they at least needed some answers. The absolute worst was the fear of the unknown.
X-X-X
Sam waited outside the hospital needing air. The waiting room was starting to suffocate her with all the people that were waiting for news on the only person she really had left in her life when she saw Benny finally making his way up the walkway. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"
Benny stopped in front of her, "Samantha, I got here as quick as I could. How is he?"
Sam scoffed, pushing herself up from the stone wall. "Why? Why do you even care? You were never there for him!"
"He's my son!"
"You have a funny way of showing that," Sam nearly spat in his face. "Maybe I should have set a fire in the hospital. Maybe that would have gotten you here a little quicker. But wait, what do they say 'firefighters run in while the rats run out'? Maybe you'd just run the other way."
Ignoring her Benny walked through the automatic doors to find out what was going on with his son and Sam followed a few feet behind, veering off to the waiting room once they got to the correct floor.
Joining Casey and Gabby in the waiting room, the anger was radiating off of her. Gabby offered her a cup of coffee that she gratefully accepted. "Everything okay?"
"Benny is here."
Casey rolled his eyes, "Enough said."
X-X-X
After several hours Kelly was moved out of the intensive care unit and into a regular room. Now all they had to do was wait for him to wake up. Most of the team had gone home to get some sleep but a few stayed behind, rotating in and out of the room though Sam refused to leave until she knew he was going to be okay.
He started to stir in the bed and she couldn't help the sigh of relief that left her lips or the tears that rolled down in cheeks. She quickly swiped them away as she smiled at him, "I'm staring to think you purposely get knocked out for the nurses."
"Yeah that's it."
Sam adjusted herself so that she was more comfortable in the plastic chair next to his bed. "You scared me, asshole. Getting that call from Casey. My heart about stopped."
He coughed a bit, clearing his dry throat, forcing himself to be more coherent. "Then you could be in the bed next to me."
"Kel…"
"I'm okay," he promised, squeezing her hand in reassurance.
She couldn't help but think back to all the friends they had lost over the years and how it never got any easier. Realizing she was lucky he always came back to her she joined him on the bed, adjusting herself so that her head was on his chest. "Don't save too many people and forget to save yourself too."
X-X-X
Kelly could hear her music blaring from the sidewalk and knew it would be fruitless to knock. He let himself in to her apartment, attempting to call out her name above the bass that was vibrating the windows. He found her in the kitchen, using a wooden spoon as a microphone. Her hair flew all over the room as she shook her head, swinging her hips to the beat of the music. He stood in the doorframe, crossing his arms with a smirk on his face.
During one of her turns she noticed him but instead of jumping or even being embarrassed she dramatically finished singing the song into the wooden spoon. Only once the song was over did she finally turn the music down so that they could speak.
"Your neighbors must love you," he commented as she went back to stirring the sauce she had been working on.
"Who doesn't," she winked, turning the burner down so the sauce could simmer. Grabbing two beers out of the fridge, she handed one to Kelly. "What's up?"
"Last call we got before shifted ended was a rough one."
She nodded in understanding, placing a hand on his arm for support. She had tried to argue with him to take more time before going back to work but it was useless. "You want to talk about it?" When he shook his head in the negative she smiled, "Want something harder than beer?"
"It's ten a.m."
"It's five o'clock somewhere."
He accepted the beer and they moved into her living room, a day time soap opera playing on the television. She could see that whatever happened on that call was still playing heavily on his mind and Sam wanted to try her best to distract him.
"You realize I could have gotten a cheaper apartment on the other side of town, right?"
He stopped picking at the label on his beer and turned to her, "What are you talking about?"
She shrugged, pulling her feet underneath her. "I wanted to make sure I was in 51's district just in case."
Kelly blinked, "That's morbid."
"That's being smart."
He thought back to earlier in the day and the look on the husband's face when Brett had to tell him she didn't make it. He shook the memory from his head and laid a hand on her knee. "You could be on the other side of the state and I'd still come for you."
"I know."
X-X-X
Sam thought she was being helpful suggesting that they go for a walk to clear his head but the skies had opened up and the pair was soaked to the bone. The umbrella she had brought with her did little to stop the rain that seemed to be coming from every direction.
A flash of lightning illuminated the sky for a moment and her fingers intertwined with Kelly's as they ran down the sidewalk towards her apartment in search of shelter from the weather.
Sam suddenly stopped and started laughing right there in the middle of the sidewalk. What was the sense in rushing to get home when they were already soaking wet? Being out in the rain was freeing.
Kelly eyed her as if she had lost her mind and just as he was about to ask her what she was doing she kissed him. It was quick and barely a kiss at all but it happened for the first time in their whole relationship.
The rain continued to fall around them but in that moment it was just the two of them. The umbrella she had once been holding was now at her feet collecting water instead of protecting them from it. This was her best friend. She had no idea why she did it. Part of her wished she could take it back.
She went to step away but he pulls her back to him. Their eyes lock. The world around them melts away. Their soaked from the rain but neither make a move. They are so close now that the air between them is mixing with their breath. Sam subconsciously runs her tongue along her bottom lip. His eyes move to her lips from the movement. She feels as though her heart is going to beat out of her chest because even if they feeling had always been there it was as if she was admitting for the first time that she loved the man standing in front of her.
They lean in at the same moment and their lips lock; frozen for a brief moment as electricity flows between them.