DAY 15 - I MISS YOU MOST AT CHRISTMAS TIME (PART 2 - CHLOE'S POV)
Author's Prompt: Beca and Chloe had been together for almost a year when Chloe got a great opportunity to work at an Art Gallery in London, England. Beca was just getting started on her solo music career and was living in L.A. They broke up so they could both pursue their careers. Three years later, Beca is a Grammy award-winning artist, and it's almost Christmas time.
This is a follow up to Day 12's one-shot from Chloe's POV.
Chloe stepped back and looked at the set-up with a critical eye. She had been keeping herself busy so she wouldn't have to think of what happened on this date three years. The day her life was forever changed for the better and for the worst.
"That's perfect," Chloe told her Assistant Reginald.
"Take a break Chloe," Reginald told her. "You've been at it since before seven. Get some lunch. Take a walk. The exhibit is finished, and now all we have to do is sit back and relax for a bit."
"You're right," Chloe said. "I'm sorry, it's just today is, um." Chloe sighed. "It's just not a good day."
"I know what today is to you," Reginald said. "I've been your Assistant since you came here. You're allowed to take time for yourself and cry, yell, or whatever."
Chloe sighed again and looked at Reginald. "Why don't you take a break?"
"Why don't you take one with me?," Reginald asked. "You've never told me what happened on this date that makes you so sad and unhappy. It might help to talk about it."
Chloe looked at him and thought that maybe Reginald was right. Maybe she needed to talk about it to someone who didn't know Beca. She ran a hand through her hair and looked at Reginald.
"Get us some coffee and bring it to my office," Chloe said.
Reginald smiled and gave Chloe a quick salute and walked off. Chloe looked at the exhibit once more before turning to head back to her office.
Chloe sat at her desk with her chin in her hand thinking back to this day three years ago. She wiped a tear just as Reginald came in carrying two cups of coffee.
Reginald walked over and set Chloe's cup in front of her before sitting in the chair across from Chloe. He sipped his coffee and waited, knowing Chloe would begin when she was ready.
Reginald looked at his boss. She is a beautiful woman yet he hasn't seen her accept any of the many date invitations she had received.
"Three years ago," Chloe started causing Reginald to sit up and start paying attention. "I was offered my dream job. I love art, and I've always had a passion for it. I'm not an artist by any means, but I could put an exhibit together to showcase other people's works with the best of them. So, when the offer to become the Curator here at the National Gallery, I didn't think twice about accepting the position."
Chloe stopped and took a sip of her coffee. Reginald noticed her hand was a bit shaky. Whatever happened, still affected Chloe and he was more determined than ever to just listen to her tell her story. He truly believed it was the first step in healing.
"Anyway, that night I went home to tell Beca." Chloe saw the questioning look Reginald had on his face and explained. "Beca was, um, was my girlfriend."
Reginald's eyebrows shot up. His first thought was, 'No wonder she never accepted any dates from the many men who asked.'
"I know what you're thinking," Chloe said. "But, I didn't accept all those dates because they were men. It's because they weren't Beca. Despite what happened between us, I am still very much in love with her."
"Sorry," Reginald said. "Please continue. I'm intrigued to learn more about your Beca."
Chloe scoffed. "My Beca. If only that were true."
"So, what happened?," Reginald prompted. "The night you went home to tell Beca."
"I rushed home," Chloe said. "Excited to tell Beca about the job, about moving to London, and how this would be an exciting adventure for the two of us."
"Oh, my God, Beca," I called out as soon as I entered our apartment. "You'll never believe what happened to me today."
She came from the kitchen smiling and said, "From the way your acting, it was something exciting I assume."
"It's the most exciting thing ever." I was practically gushing. "I was offered a job as curator for the National Gallery in London."
She furrowed her brow and looked at me. "London? As in London, England?"
"Um, yeah." I was a bit confused by the way she said it like it was someplace she never heard of or something.
I realized later that if I had been paying attention, I would have noticed that her eyes were suddenly glistening; that she had tears in her eyes. Only I was so focused on my news I didn't see it. If I had, maybe things would have gone differently.
Then she asked in a somewhat shaky voice, "So, is this where we talk about it or where you tell me you already accepted and your moving to London?"
I was a bit taken aback by the question. I walked over and took her hands in mine.
"Beca, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity," I told her, my excitement still evident.
That's when she pulled her hands away from mine and stepped back putting space between us. That should have been another warning signal to me, but I missed it.
"So, you're moving," she said sarcastically. "When?"
"They want me to start as soon as possible," I told her.
"What does this mean for us?"
I finally noticed that her voice had a cold tone to it and I was a little shaken by it. I was going to tell her that just because I'd be in London, didn't mean we wouldn't see each other. That I wasn't planning on letting her go. But all I got to say was, "Becs, I'll be in London but-"
And she cut me off by putting up her hand and saying, "Stop. I got it. Congratulations on the new job."
I was confused, and my brain hadn't caught up with everything that had happened thus far.
Beca walked to the door and turned to look at me. "I'll stay at Amy's until you've moved out."
It took me a second before I realized that she thought it was the end of us. I came to my senses and tried to get her to listen to me.
"No, Beca," I said and ran over to stand in front of the door to keep her from leaving. "Listen to me, please."
"I think we should just make a clean break of it. I wish you the best."
"No, Beca, we can-"
Beca pushed me aside and walked out the door. I knew there was no talking to her right then so I let her go. I thought I knew Beca well enough that once she thought things through she'd see that I wasn't leaving her behind. I found out that I didn't know Beca as well as I thought I did.
I tried texting and calling, but Beca wouldn't answer. I left her voicemails explaining what I hoped would happen but she never responded. I even went to our friend Amy's place a couple of times to make Beca talk to me, but Amy told me she was spending a lot of time at the studio. I wanted to go and camp out there until she talked to me.
Chloe took a moment and sipped at her now cold coffee.
"Why didn't you?," Reginald asked.
"What?"
"Why didn't you camp outside the studio until she talked to you?"
"My best friend Aubrey suggested I give her some space," Chloe said. "She said that if I kept bugging Beca she'd just dig in deeper and I'd lose her forever. I should have listened to my heart instead of my best friend."
Chloe wiped at a tear and Reginald waited until she had composed herself.
"I'm guessing that you never got your chance to talk to her before you left," Reginald said.
"No, I didn't. Aubrey was having a small going away party for me and told Amy to make sure Beca knew about it." Chloe swallowed visibly and looked at the ceiling, blinking several times trying to keep the tears at bay. "I thought it would be a good time to talk to her. Only, she didn't come."
"So, you moved to London and then what happened?"
"Stacie, one of Beca's best friends, promised she'd keep an eye on Beca for me," Chloe said. "I would have scrapped the whole move, but I had already signed a one-year contract and couldn't get out of it."
"I thought you said it was a once in a lifetime opportunity," Reginald said. "Why would you give it up?"
"Because at the end of the day it was just a job," Chloe said. "Beca wasn't just anything; she was my life."
"You talk about her in the past tense," Reginald said. "But, you said you are still very much in love with her."
"I gave up on her still loving me after six months," Chloe said. "I had hoped after a bit of time she'd come around and we'd talk. I'd have her visit to see what I was doing. But she never responded to any of my calls, texts, or emails. I'd ask Aubrey how she was doing every time I talked to her. Aubrey would tell me all the great things that were happening for Beca. Her first album came out, and it was a success. She had three number one singles from that album. I bought the album and would listen to it all the time. She was doing fine without me, so I stopped calling and texting."
"So, you haven't reached to her for over two years," Reginald said.
"I did," Chloe said. "But it was mostly through our friends. After the first six months of being here, the Board asked me to extend my contract for an additional two years, so I did. I was now locked into a three-year contract. I truly believed that Beca and I were never going to be together. I decided it was best if I just lost myself in my work and I'd be happy."
"How's that working out for you?"
Chloe let out a laugh. "Look at me. How do you think it's working out for me? Three years later and I'm still pining over someone who doesn't want to see me or talk to me ever again."
Chloe looked down at her empty coffee cup.
"Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year," Chloe said. "But now, having Christmas without Beca around is the worst."
~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~
"Hey, Brey," Chloe said as soon as Aubrey answered. "How's everything?"
"I'm lonely," Aubrey said. "Stacie is off in Paris with-"
"Brey, you can say her name," Chloe said. "You know I'm going to ask how she is anyway."
"I know," Aubrey said. "I can't believe that after three years you two haven't even spoken. I knew Beca was stubborn, but dammit, she needs to pull her head out of her ass and just talk to you."
Chloe laughed. "I'm sorry you and Stacie are stuck in the middle of all this."
"It's okay, Chloe," Aubrey said. "You know I've been trying to get Beca to talk to you. She just keeps saying 'she made her choice.' She won't listen to anyone when it comes to you. I'm sorry."
"I get it," Chloe said. "So, tell me about Stacie being in Paris. Is she going to be gone for Beca's entire tour?"
"She's only going to be with her until her London concert," Aubrey said. "Then she'll fly back to the States when Beca begins her American leg of the tour. She'll be all over the country for three months."
"That's good," Chloe said. "How's Bella doing with Stacie being away?"
"She misses her," Aubrey said. "But we're having a lot of fun together."
"When are you and Stacie going to get married?"
"We've talked about it," Aubrey said. "But, honestly. We won't until we know that you and Beca are okay again."
"Brey."
"No, Chloe," Aubrey said. "I want you to be my Maid of Honor, and Stacie said she wants to ask Beca to be hers. If that happens, it means you two will have to talk to help plan stuff, and we don't want our wedding to be a big dramafest because you two haven't dealt with your issues."
"It's not like I didn't try," Chloe snaps back. "I spent every day for six months just trying to get her to talk to me. She knows where I am and hasn't tried to contact me."
"I know, I know," Aubrey said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Stacie and I have both tried to get Beca to call you. As soon as Stacie knew that Beca had a show in London she tried to talk Beca into inviting you and talking to you."
"Well, I have some news that may change things," Chloe said.
"I hope it's good news," Aubrey said.
"I hope it is, too," Chloe said. "I'm coming home."
"When you say coming home," Aubrey said hesitantly. "Do you mean for a visit?"
"No," Chloe said. "I declined the Board's offer to renew my contract. I'm flying out on December 23rd to visit my folks for Christmas. And, I'll be looking for a place in L.A. after the New Year."
"Oh, my God, Chloe," Aubrey said. "You're moving to L.A.?"
"Yeah," Chloe said. "I kind of want to be in the same place Beca is. She won't be able to ignore me if I'm right there. I want to try and get us back to where we were. I still love her, Brey."
"I know," Aubrey said. "You know you can stay with Stacie and me until you find a place of your own."
"I appreciate that," Chloe said. "I'll be looking for a place while I'm home with my parents. And, if I don't find anything, I'll take you up on your offer."
"This is so exciting," Aubrey said. "I miss you."
"I know, and I'm sorry I haven't been back home," Chloe said. "I wasn't ready to have to see Beca happy and successful without me by her side. At least over here, I can ignore most of the talk about her."
"Let's forget all that," Aubrey said. "Let's just focus on the fact that my best friend is coming home."
~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~
"I'm sorry to see you go," Reginald said. "But, I get why."
"I've loved working with you, Reginald," Chloe said. "You and Maggie have been really good friends to me over the past three years."
"Maggie loves you," Reginald said. "And, so do I." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. "We have a gift for you. It was Maggie's idea."
Reginald handed Chloe an envelope, and she opened it.
"You got me a ticket to Beca's concert?" Chloe grabbed Reginald in a hug. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me, yet," Reginald said. "We're going, too. Thought you might need some moral support."
Chloe felt tears spring to her eyes and hugged Reginald again.
"Maggie thought it would be nice to go out to dinner before the concert," Reginald said. "Kind of a going away dinner with just us. The tickets are your Christmas present so don't be looking for anything else."
Chloe laughed. "This is the best present anyone could have given me. It will be nice to see her in person, even if it is surrounded by hundreds or maybe thousands of other people."
"We're not too far from the stage," Reginald said. "About ten rows back in the center. You'll have a great view of her."
"I'm nervous," Chloe said. "For the past three years, I've only seen her in videos from talk shows or in magazines."
"We googled her after you told me about her," Reginald said. "Maggie really got into her music. She didn't want to say anything to you because she felt as if she was betraying you somehow."
"Well, I guess you'll have to deal with me and Maggie fangirling over Beca at the concert," Chloe said with a laugh.
"As long at it brings a smile that beautiful face of yours," Reginald said with a smile. "I'll endure it."
~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~
Stacie called Aubrey less than a week before Beca's London concert.
"Brey, cancel whatever you have that afternoon," Stacie said. "Beca wrote a Christmas song and will be singing it as an encore. You have to hear it, so I'll Skype you, and you can hear it and see Beca singing it. She wrote it for and about Chloe."
"This is a good thing, right?," Aubrey asked. "Maybe it means that Beca is ready to talk to Chloe."
"I think so," Stacie said. "I mean she still says Chloe made her choice, but then she writes a song about missing someone most at Christmas time. We both know who she means."
"This is fantastic," Aubrey said. "Chloe told me that a friend of hers gave her a ticket to the concert and she's going. She just wants to see Beca in person even if she's lost in a crowd. She also told me that she's coming home."
"She's coming to visit?"
"No, she's coming home to stay," Aubrey said. "She's going to spend Christmas and New Year's with her folks. But, then she's moving out here to L.A. She really wants to get Beca back."
"I know you miss her," Stacie said. "Even if she and Beca don't work it out, I'm glad you'll have your best friend back."
Aubrey let out a small sob. "Me, too."
~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~
The day of Beca's concert was finally here and to say Chloe was nervous was an understatement. She changed her outfit five times before Reginald and Maggie picked her up for dinner. She doesn't know why because she's sure Beca won't be able to see her.
Chloe's stomach was doing flip-flops at dinner. She could barely eat.
"You need to eat something, Chloe," Maggie said. "Otherwise you're going to have an empty nervous stomach at the concert. If you feel the need to throw up, it will be better to have something actually to throw up."
"Maggie!," Reginald chastised causing Chloe to laugh. "We are trying to eat. Could you please refrain from talking about that?"
"I was just saying," Maggie said with a wave of her hand.
Chloe felt herself relax a bit and did manage to eat most of her food.
"Why are you so nervous, dear?," Maggie asked. "Is it because you haven't seen her in three years?"
"I love her so much, Maggie," Chloe said. "Seeing her in person for the first time in three years is scary, but I'm more worried about her songs. Beca was never really good at expressing herself verbally except through her music. I heard one of her songs that came out after I moved here and it was full of sadness and heartache. She was using her music to get over me. Whatever she plays tonight will tell me if she really is over me or if I may still have a chance with her."
Chloe wiped a tear from her cheek. Maggie took her hand and squeezed it.
Dinner was over, and Chloe was standing in line with Reginald and Maggie to enter the concert hall. Chloe was a bundle of excitement and nerves as she waited to get in. Maggie put a comforting arm around her shoulders.
"If you feel like you need to leave at any time, just say the word," Maggie said. "We're here for you."
"Thank you, Maggie," Chloe said. "That means a lot to me. But, no matter what happens, I plan to stick it out to the end. I want to drink her in and keep the memory of her doing what she loves with me forever just in case she really is over me."
The line finally moved, and the trio entered the venue. They were shown to their seats and sat down. Chloe looked around at the stage and all the people who came to see Beca perform. Her heart swelled with immense pride at how far Beca had come in three years. The lights flashed to let everyone know that the show was about to start.
Maggie reached over and took Chloe's hand. "Here we go."
~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~
Beca was great. Chloe yelled herself hoarse. She also had to wipe a few tears from some of the songs. The concert was a mix of sadness and lightheartedness. Chloe could not get a read on where Beca was emotionally. Their three years apart made Beca hard to read. Chloe wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~
"Thank you, London," Beca called out as she ran off the stage.
Maggie and Reginald turned to Chloe with big smiles on her face.
"That was amazing!," Maggie gushed.
The audience cheered and chanted, "Beca! Beca! Beca!" After a minute or two, the crowd went wild as Beca came back onto the stage. None were as loud as Chloe and Maggie. Reginald just smiled and laughed at the two.
"Well, I guess you want to hear more," Beca said with a big smile.
Chloe couldn't help but watch every move Beca made as she walked over to the piano that was in the center of the stage. Chloe furrowed her brow. Beca seemed nervous. She seemed relaxed during the concert, but now Chloe could see a tenseness to Beca.
The band took their places, and Beca sat on the piano bench and looked out over the crowd. She adjusted the microphone.
Chloe smiled as Beca cleared her throat. Another sign that she was nervous.
"This next song is one I just wrote," Beca said. "So, you're the first to hear it." The crowd cheered, and Beca smiled again. "It's about Christmas, but it's not your usual Christmas song. This is a song about a special someone who made Christmases special for me, and how I miss her the most at Christmas time. I hope you like it."
Chloe put her hand to her mouth and saw Maggie and Reginald looking at her. They all were thinking the same thing; the song is about Chloe.
Chloe watched intently as Beca shook out her hands and placed them on the piano keys. The crowd grew quiet as the first notes started. There was almost complete silence from the crowd as Beca began to sing.
Ooh
The fire is burning
The room's all aglow
Outside the December wind blows
Away in the distance
The carolers sing in the snow
Everybody's laughing
The world is celebrating
And everyone's so happy
Except for me tonight
Beca sounded so sad, and Chloe couldn't help but tear up a bit.
Because I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
Chloe's eyes filled with tears as the noticed the spotlight catching what she thought to be the sparkle of a tear on Beca's cheek. Chloe's heart clenched, and the crowd remained surprisingly quiet as Beca put so much emotion into the words.
Ooh, yeah
Mmm
I gaze out the window
This cold winter's night
At all of the twinkling lights
Alone in the darkness
Remembering when
You were mine, yeah
Everybody's smiling
The whole world is rejoicing
And everyone's embracing
Except for you and I
Baby, I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
No, no, no, no
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
Chloe let the tears fall unabated as she listened to Beca. She felt the words as much as Beca did as she has been living with the same torment for the past three years.
Oh
In the springtime
Those memories start to fade
With the April rain
Through the summer days
Till autumn's leaves are gone
I get by without you
Till the snow begins to fall
And then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can't get you
No, no, no, no
Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along
And I'm all right
But then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
Ooh
Chloe could barely see through her tears. She wiped them away with her hands as the song ended and Beca slowly moved her hands from the keys and clasped them in her lap. Chloe felt for Beca because she could tell the song had taken an emotional toll on her even from where she was sitting.
The crowd sat in silent awe for a few seconds before the cheering and clapping became deafening.
Chloe watched as Beca let out a small laugh and reached up to wipe the tears from her face. Beca finally stood and waved at the crowd before making her way offstage.
Chloe continued cheering along with the rest of the crowd. As the noise settled, she flopped back down in her seat as her tears continued to fall.
Maggie sat next to her and gathered Chloe in her arms. Chloe nestled her head in Maggie's neck and cried. Reginald reached around his wife and wrapped them both in his arms. It had been quite an emotional night for all of them.
~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~ ~25 Days~
The concert hall was practically empty when Chloe finally pulled back from Maggie and Reginald. Reginald hand her a handkerchief which she gladly accepted.
"How are you feeling?," Maggie asked once Chloe seemed to be in control of her emotions.
"I feel like we may still have a chance," Chloe said. "Or do you think I'm reading too much into that song?"
"I think you still have a chance," Maggie said. "Now, what are you going to do about it?"
"I'm going home so I can get my girl," Chloe said with a laugh.
"Good answer," Reginald said with a smile. "Come on, you two. Let's get some ice cream before we go home. Ice cream makes everything better."
After getting ice cream, Reginald dropped Chloe off at her apartment without too much fanfare. Chloe was going to spend her last night in London with them, and Maggie had invited a few work friends to dinner the next night as a bon voyage since Chloe was leaving the day after.
Chloe was smiling when she walked into her apartment. She decided to change into her pajamas and finish packing a few last minute things since the shipping company was coming early the next afternoon to pick up everything she was taking back home with her. Chloe walked around the apartment thinking back over the last three years.
Chloe checked the time and decided to call Aubrey before going to bed.
"Hey, Brey," Chloe said and smiled.
"Did you go to the concert?," Aubrey asked.
"Yes," Chloe said. "It was wonderful."
"So, you heard the song?"
"Yeah."
"I, um, told her you might have heard it. That you might have been there."
"What, um, what did she say?"
"She said that you could have called. But then, I told her you were moving back to L.A. because you were hoping there was still a chance that she might still want you."
Chloe swallowed but didn't say anything.
"She said she did."
Chloe let out a small sob. "Really?"
"Yes," Aubrey said. "Then she asked for your number, and I gave it to her." Aubrey paused for a moment. "She wants to talk to you, Chloe."
Chloe pulled the phone from her ear and wiped her face. She put the phone back up to her ear and asked quietly, "Did she say when she might call?"
"No. But I have a feeling she's back at the hotel thinking about it right now."
"I leave the day after tomorrow," Chloe said. "Do you think she'll want to see me before then?"
"I don't know, Chloe," Aubrey said. "But, I think you should hang up in case she calls. If you don't answer or it goes to voicemail, she might not try again for a while."
"Okay," Chloe said. "Thanks, Brey."
"Good night, Chloe," Aubrey said and disconnected the call.
Chloe laid on her bed going back over the conversation with Aubrey. Beca really wants to talk to her, and she said she still wanted to be with Chloe.
Chloe had her phone in her hand as she slowly started to relax and drift off to sleep. She was startled when her phone rang. She immediately answered.
"Hello?" Chloe's heart was in her throat waiting to hear the first words Beca would speak to her in three years.
"Um, hey, Chloe, it's me." Tears sprang to Chloe's eyes at hearing Beca's voice. "I heard, um, that you might have been at my concert tonight."
"I was," Chloe said wiping at her tears. "I just, uh, I just wanted to see you in person."
Chloe's resolve almost failed when she heard Beca sniffle causing her to do the same.
"So, what'd you think?," Beca asked. "Of the song."
Chloe doesn't know why but all she could think to say was, "I miss you most at Christmas time, too."
Beca let out a small sob causing tears to fall from Chloe's eyes. She heard Beca clear her throat.
"Look, it's really late, but I really think we should talk."
"I'd like that," Chloe said.
"I've got like three months left on my tour," Beca said. "Aubrey told me you were going back to the states."
"I am," Chloe said a bit calmer now. "I actually fly back in two days so I can spend Christmas with my family. I wanted to move back home sooner, but I couldn't because I signed a three-year contract. I didn't renew it. I just want to go home."
"Okay," Beca said. "Um, it's late now so I think we should talk later. Like maybe when I get back from my tour. It will give you time to get settled, and we can both think about what we want to happen."
"I'd like that a lot," Chloe said. She's waited for three years; she could wait three more months.
Chloe didn't hear Beca say anything for a minute or two. But, when Beca spoke again, it pulled at Chloe's heartstrings.
"I really have missed you, Chlo."
"I've really missed you, too, Becs," Chloe said trying to hold back tears. "I'm not gonna lie; I'm hoping that our talk leads to us trying again."
"I'm kind of hoping the same thing," Beca said.
Chloe wanted to cheer at hearing this. She decided to push things just a bit.
"Can I text you or call you while you're on the road?"
"I'd like that," Beca said, and Chloe could hear the smile in her voice. "I'd better let you go. I have an early meeting with Theo tomorrow."
"Oh, um, okay," Chloe said. "Good night, Beca."
"Good night, Chlo," Beca said and ended the call.
Chloe laid in her London flat with a big smile on their face. And for the first time in three years, she fell into a restful sleep, looking forward to the start of something new.
Song Used: Miss You Most (at Christmas Time) by Mariah Carey