Author Note: This was written because when I joked about this au, a couple friends of mine liked the idea so much they wanted to see it done. It's good to challenge myself… I did research for this. See the end note for my works cited.
Sayo squinted against the glare of the bright computer screen. She had been searching the web for almost an hour now, trying to find the right class. No matter how she tilted the laptop monitor it strained her eyes just the same.
Around her, Sayo's apartment was sparsely decorated. With only one bedroom and the living space attached to the kitchen, there wasn't much room even if she wanted to do more. She had a couch, a bed, and a kitchen; that was enough. A guitar hung on the wall above the couch, a relic of times long past. The other walls were bare.
Her quest on the internet was to find a single session baking class, ideally within walking distance of her apartment. It shouldn't've have been too difficult, considering the size of the city she lived in, but was turning out to be surprisingly so.
Many bakeries offered classes over long periods of time, but that wouldn't work for Sayo. She only needed to make one thing, not many. It also needed to be simple, since the last time Sayo baked sweets was as a child. She could cook with a recipe, but couldn't manage baked goods very well.
Ironically enough, Sayo ate carry out pad thai as she searched the web. She had started out looking at a map search of bakeries, but soon gave up on that approach. Then she went to the search bar and looked for 'baking classes near me'. This turned up mostly long-term courses.
After Sayo finished her dinner and threw the box away, she was about ready to give up. She would look at a few more, but if she didn't find anything then she might just get a recipe and figure it out on her own.
That was when she found an article on the Hazawa café. Intrigued by the listed location, which was only about half a mile from where she lived, Sayo clicked on the link. A picture of a small corner bakery popped up, with a brown-haired woman standing in front of it. She was smiling way too big for the camera, but it didn't ruin the shot.
Below the picture, the text explained that the Hazawa café had been closed for a number of years. It was recently reopened by the daughter of the previous owner and would soon be hosting a series of single day baking classes. The dates of the classes were listed, as well as what would be baked at each one. Sayo's eyes stopped on the very first one, which just happened to be cookies; this would be perfect.
As Sayo wrote down the café's phone number to call the next day, she thought back to why she wanted to take a baking class in the first place.
To answer that question, Sayo had to think all the way back to college. She stayed in state for the lower tuition costs, but still was hours away from her family. Really, the only person she wanted to be away from was Hina. Her twin wanted to enroll with Sayo, but ended up at a bachelors program closer to home. If Sayo had gone to a different school, she likely never would've wanted to go to a baking class.
When Sayo applied she was told to pick a major in order for her application to be more competitive. She chose psychology. She'd always been good at observing others, at reading them from a distance. If this field didn't work out, she could always switch before her junior year since that was when the core classes started.
As it turned out, choosing this major set Sayo down the road of her career. She stuck with it all throughout her bachelors' program.
Sayo made a few acquaintances to study with during her undergrad, but stopped speaking with them after the class they had together ended. What did she need them for after that? The answer was nothing.
She graduated in four years through dedicated study and knew she wanted immediately to go into a master's program. One topic that interested Sayo greatly was the study of relationships between people. They way their relationships built and collapsed was fascinating to watch and analyze. She was never good at relationships for herself, but greatly enjoyed observing the ones of other people.
Thus, after talking to a school advisor, Sayo started her master's in marriage counseling. It was much harder than her undergrad and required significantly more studying and clinic time, but she still finished it in four years. She made one friend in that time, a young woman in the same program.
After graduating, Sayo started getting more clinical experience at a clinic associated with her college. She grew distant from her friend. After two whole years of additional clinic time, Sayo was finally ready to get her license.
Sayo passed the licensing exam on the first try, as she always did, and found a job in a therapist's practice. She moved to the big city and got settled a working adult.
It through this job that she met Yukina and Lisa, which somehow led to wanting to take a baking class.
As a couples therapist, Sayo worked with couples that were having trouble in their relationships. Sometimes they were fighting incessantly, other times they were already living apart and desperate to fix things, and even other times they were physically violent with each other. Sayo's job was to help them, if she could, and safely separate them, if she couldn't.
One day, she had a couple named Yukina and Lisa in her office. Like the apartment, her office had mostly empty walls. Only her license hung in the space behind her desk. When a couple came in, they sat across the desk from her in two separate chairs. For the first meeting Sayo usually met with a couple together, so both were there on the first day.
Both women looked distinctly, yet differently, unhappy to be there. On Sayo's left sat Yukina, a woman with striking silver hair and gold eyes. She had both hands pulled together in her lap and was wringing them, eyes focused dead ahead. To Sayo's right, Lisa appeared cheerier at first glance. She was smiling, if only slightly, but there was a clear strain in her jaw. At first glance, the light brown-haired woman already seemed like someone who hid how they really felt about things. Every once in a while, her eyes would dart to her partner, checking on her. It was unusual to have a lesbian couple in her office, but Sayo was prepared for any challenge.
They had written a paragraph each about why they were coming to couples therapy, but it didn't provide enough information for Sayo fully understand them. "My name is Sayo Hikawa." She said, standing up to shake the hands of both of them. "I will be your therapist for this process. If I may ask, how long have you two been together?" As Sayo spoke, she looked between her two patients. She fully expected Lisa to respond first.
"We've known each other since high school." Sayo was correct. Lisa's smile slipped slightly as she spoke. "We started dating after graduating and have been married for five years now. It sounds like a long time, when I put it like that." Lisa chuckled, a forced sound, as her partner turned to look at her. Sayo made a mental note that they'd had a long engagement.
"It'll be six in a few months." Yukina added, her voice lower and much less energetic than Lisa's.
"That's a long time." Sayo commented, gauging their reactions as she did. "What brings you to couples therapy?"
Again, Lisa responded first. "We've kind of been…" She trailed off for a moment, moving her eyes to a spot past Sayo's head. "Fighting a lot."
"What about?" Sayo asked for more detail and watched how Yukina's posture stiffened as Lisa started to recount their struggles.
As the meeting went on, a few things became clear to Sayo. In this relationship, Lisa was more assertive while Yukina was more passive. They started fighting about six months prior to this, but neither was quite sure why. They bickered about many different topics without much correlation. They both felt like they were losing grip on the relationship and wanted to save it, but didn't know how.
Lisa was still holding something back in this meeting, evident in how she would go to say something, but then look at Yukina and stop. It only happened once, but that was enough. As it was, Lisa talked about 75 percent of the time between the two of them, with Yukina only taking 25 percent.
At the end of their time, Sayo gave each of them a questionnaire to fill out and return. They were going to schedule individual meetings with her to discuss their relationship, and then at the fourth meeting the three of them would all come back together.
The pair agreed and left to schedule the next two appointments with the practice's secretary.
Sayo started a file for them, adding in their initial papers and the notes she took during the meeting. They would be an interesting pair for sure.
Later that day she checked to see when they would be coming back and was pleased to see that they would both be in again next week.
On the day of the baking class, which was luckily on a Saturday, Sayo dressed casually. She walked from her apartment to the bakery, an easy stroll in the warm spring weather.
When Sayo reached the corner where the bakery was located, it was easy to spot. It looked just like it had in the photo, a quaint storefront with pastries on display in the window. A poster was up as well, displaying the dates of the baking classes. The words "Hazawa Café" were displayed over the top in bright red letters.
Sayo could see the woman from the picture inside, wearing an apron and talking animatedly to a customer.
It wasn't too late to give up on this, Sayo thought in a moment of trepidation. Sure, she had put an hour into searching and had walked all the way here, but it would only take a little bit of time to walk home and the internet could certainly provide a close to satisfactory alternative.
No, Sayo squashed that thought. Taking a real class would produce a much better product than looking online. Even if she embarrassed herself here, the odds of seeing anyone she met here today again was slim to none.
This was important to do.
When Yukina and Lisa each came for their meetings, each was more open with Sayo.
Yukina was first. She completed her survey with the bare minimum of words for each entry, writing barely a sentence where a paragraph would've been better. Since she was without Lisa at the meeting, she couldn't get away with doing only a quarter of the talking.
The primary issue for Yukina, what she said was causing the problems, was that Lisa was far too clingy. When Yukina tried to talk to her about it, Lisa didn't listen and it only led to arguments, so Yukina stopped trying.
Yukina felt like Lisa was growing farther and farther away, with nothing she tried to do helping to fix it. The longer Sayo and Yukina talked the quieter Yukina became, making less eye contact as the meeting went on.
A few days later Lisa came for her appointment. Her survey was filled out far more than her partner's had been, with long paragraphs for each question.
For Lisa's concerns, she said that Yukina didn't tell her about things. She just did things without talking with Lisa first or communicating effectively. Lisa went out of her way to try and talk more with Yukina about this, but that only led to arguments.
Nothing she did seemed to help.
Lisa started crying midway through the meeting, her frustration clear.
After the meeting, Sayo requested for them to schedule a follow up for their fourth appointment. Until then, she had a chance to gather her thoughts on the pair.
The common thread that tied both of them together was their fear that the relationship would collapse and their immense desire to save it. They expressed this in different ways, but both were committed to trying to fix their relationship.
This was a good start, since Sayo thought she would be able to help them. She suspected that their relationship was suffering from 'fusion', which sometimes occurred in lesbian couples and displayed itself as overdependence. Before making plans, she needed to meet with them for the fourth time.
Luckily, the pair scheduled their next meeting for only one week later. They sat in the same seats in Sayo's office as they had the first time, mirroring their posture as well. This meeting would be a feedback session, where Sayo would tell them about her observations and how they could benefit from couples therapy.
Yukina's expression was blank as Sayo talked to them, while Lisa looked even more nervous than she had at previous sessions.
"From what we've discussed, I think the two of you could greatly benefit from this program." Sayo told them honestly. "Here is what the two of you told me."
She read off her notes what she recorded about each of them, as well as her conclusions about their relationship. Yukina nodded along as Sayo recounted what she had said, almost imperceptibly. Lisa looked like she would cry again but wiped away the tears.
When Sayo got to Lisa's part, she pulled herself together. Yukina's frown only deepened, her eyebrows knitting together as she listened.
After laying out what she learned from them, Sayo explained the plan. "For the two of you, this will be a two-pronged approach. The first part is to work on developing a more firm identity outside of your relationship, to separate you from the couple so to speak. This will help you see each other more clearly. The second is to work on understanding and accepting each others flaws." They had both relaxed slightly during this part of the conversation. "If you choose to continue with therapy, we will meet once a week for twenty weeks. Each week we will work towards understanding both yourselves and each other. Please take time to discuss it and schedule the next appointment if you are going to continue." Sayo dismissed the pair from her office, optimistic that they would call and schedule the next meeting.
They proved her right by scheduling an appointment for the next twenty weeks on that very same day.
For the first full appointment, they talked about the most recent argument the pair had. They had argued about where to put the napkins on the kitchen counter.
Yukina thought they should go where they always did, while Lisa wanted to move them farther from the sink. The contents of the argument were arbitrary compared to the feelings and emotions involved.
Sayo worked with them to unpack those emotions, to communicate them to each other, and to understand where their partner was coming from.
For the third appointment, they discussed their lives separate from one another. Yukina was in a band, as the lead singer. Sayo shared with them that she used to play the guitar, which made a good talking point. Lisa enjoyed knitting as well as following fashion trends. For both of them, Sayo tried to help them put their partner out of their mind during their hobbies.
In the tenth appointment, the band started to cause tension. Yukina had forgotten to tell Lisa when rehearsal was, and thus was not home when she said she'd be. Again, Sayo helped them work through their emotions and on conflict resolution strategies.
After that, things steadily improved. Each meeting had more positive stories than negative, with Yukina and Lisa implementing the techniques Sayo taught them. They talked more about personal things, finding similarities with Sayo outside of just having once been in a band.
By the time their twentieth session came around, Yukina and Lisa were ready to fend for themselves.
As Sayo walked into the bakery, a bell tinkled overhead. The brown-haired woman, who Sayo assumed was the owner, looked over at the sound. "Welcome!" She greeted Sayo warmly.
"Hello." Sayo said politely, closing the door behind her.
"Are you here for the baking class?" The woman walked over, and Sayo could see at this distance that her eye color matched her hair.
Sayo nodded. "I am, I called last week to sign up. Should be under Sayo." She had to tilt her head slightly down to make consistent eye contact.
"Oh! Yeah I remember your voice from the phone." The woman gestured further into the shop, where some other customers milled around some tables. "You can head on back, we'll be starting in about ten minutes." It was a little odd that she'd remembered her voice, but Sayo wasn't going to let it bother her.
"Thank you."
The door bell dinged again, so the woman went to greet the newcomer as Sayo walked back to the tables. She claimed a decent sized spot, hopefully large enough for baking cookies. Ingredients were already laid out on each table.
Sayo had ten minutes to think again about how she ended up here.
It was week twenty. Yukina and Lisa sat in Sayo's office in the same chairs as they always did.
It was the end of their time in couples therapy and they would soon be off to face the world without Sayo to help them.
"We were thinking." Lisa spoke for the pair, her fingers intertwined with Yukina's. "You've been such a huge help to us, we'd love to take you out to dinner."
That was a surprise; it hadn't ever happened before. Usually at the end of therapy, couples would just leave. If these two had remained her patients after this, then Sayo would've had to turn them down. However, they were done and today was their last meeting with her. She wasn't one to turn down a free meal.
"That is very kind of you, I accept." Sayo responded in her usual tone. Lisa's smile grew, while Yukina displayed only a small one.
They exchanged cell phone numbers to make the plans later. Sayo had no idea what she had gotten herself into.
One dinner became two, and then five, and then ten.
They only bought Sayo the first meal, but she still kept meeting them after that. They were good company and it was nice to see them; it felt like she had done a good job helping their relationship. They were fun to talk to as well. It was nice having some friends.
However, after they continued inviting her out, Sayo wondered what they still saw in her. She wasn't doing anything for them anymore or helping them with their relationship; they didn't need her.
What could she do to provide something meaningful to the relationship?
That was how she ended up looking for a baking class. Everybody loved baked goods. If Sayo could make some decent cookies, then she could give them to Yukina and Lisa as an effort to strengthen their friendship.
This was what she told herself when she sat down in front of her laptop to search for a baking course.
"We're going to get started, everyone please wash your hands before we begin!" The shop owner called from the front of the café, instigating movement from the customers. Including Sayo, there were about fifteen people there to participate. While she waited earlier, Sayo had paid for the class. A few customers went to wash their hands; Sayo didn't move since she already took care that as well.
Once everyone returned to their tables, the woman spoke again. "Thank you all for coming. My name is Tsugumi and I will be your instructor today." So that was her name. Sayo turned it over in her mind, and then filed it away.
Tsugumi called out the first instructions, which Sayo followed carefully. She managed to crack an egg without getting shells in the bowl by following Tsugumi's directions, which was a strain but manageable. She then added each ingredient that Tsugumi specified, carefully measuring the correct amount.
The next phase was stirring, which Sayo felt competent at. Tsugumi walked around during this part, checking in with each participant.
"Yours looks good." She complemented Sayo's gooey mixture, pushing a flush of warmth to Sayo's face.
"Thank you." Sayo continued stirring. She was surprised when Tsugumi didn't immediately move on to the next person. This girl was hard to read.
"What brings you to baking class?" Tsugumi asked cheerfully. The question rang in Sayo's ears, eerily familiar to one she asked patients.
The answer was fairly simple. "I'd like to bake cookies for my friends to provide something of value to them." As a therapist Sayo should've known better than to overshare, but something about Tsugumi's demeanor drew her in. Perhaps she was just trying to get a reaction out of her.
For her part, the woman's expression barely changed. "That's interesting." Tsugumi's smile tightened only slightly. "I know we just met, but I think your presence alone provides something of value." Sayo's hand stopped mid stir. What? What was that?
For once Sayo found herself without words, without a response. Her presence alone provided something of value? What a notion that was, an anomaly from her normal state of being. This girl sure was something.
Tsugumi must've noticed her deer in headlight expression, because she said she needed to check on the others and vanished to the next table. Sayo watched her go, unable to formulate a response in time.
A few minutes later, they started adding the dry ingredients to the mix. Again, Sayo measure everything carefully. She wanted the cookies to be just right. When it was time to mix again, she did so firmly. Sayo made sure her dough was as close to perfect as it could be.
Once the dough was mixed, it was time to put it on the tray. These were simple chocolate chip cookies, so the dough just needed to be balled and placed far enough apart.
Sayo was measuring the distance between two of her dough balls when Tsugumi appeared next to her. "It's okay if it's not exact." Tsugumi placed one hand gently on Sayo's arm as she spoke, likely in an attempt not to surprise her. "They just need to be far enough apart so that they don't meld together in the oven." Tsugumi's hand pulled back as soon as she finished speaking.
"Okay, thank you." Sayo nodded and moved the balls slightly closer together. She continued to roll and place them as Tsugumi scooted along to the next person.
Once that was done, they went in the oven. Sayo set her oven timer for ten minutes as instructed, and then had to wait. She cleaned her station in that time, putting away the bowl and utensils she used. When she made it back, there were still five minutes until the cookies would be ready.
"How are they coming along?" Again, Tsugumi appeared by Sayo's side as she was checking on the cookies.
"They look good." At least, Sayo thought they did. She didn't know enough about baking to say for sure.
"I'm glad." Tsugumi peered in as well. "I was worried about today's class, since it's the very first one I've taught." She stepped back as Sayo closed the oven and turned towards her. "So, thank you for coming!" She smiled earnestly, eagerly.
"You did a great job." Sayo couldn't help but smile back. "If you hadn't helped me, I still would be putting the dough on the tray." This earned a laugh, which sent a trill down Sayo's spine.
Tsugumi soon moved to the next person, leaving Sayo to wait the last couple minutes. After waiting the time out, Sayo put on oven mitts and retrieved her bounty from the oven.
The cookies were perhaps a little lighter in color than they should've been, but when the timer was up it was time to go. Sayo placed the hot tray on the stove top to cool. A few minutes later she was able to pick her cookies up off the hot surface.
Sayo had to try one, just to make sure they were ok. It was good, way better than she'd expected it to be. The café had some bags available for the cookies, so Sayo grabbed on and put her batch inside. She felt satisfied as she tied it shut, certain it would a great meaningful gift for her friends.
With that done, she washed the tray she baked on and started getting ready to leave.
Sayo didn't usually hesitate when leaving somewhere, but today she did. She wanted to say goodbye to Tsugumi, the delightful woman who helped her bake these delicious treats. She was milling about, helping some of the customers take their cookies out of the oven.
When Tsugumi looked like she had a free moment, Sayo approached her.
"Getting ready to go?" Tsugumi asked, glancing at the bag clutched in Sayo's hand. "It was great having you here!" Normally, when someone at a business said that, it rang with insincerity. Not in this instance, however. Sayo remembered what Tsugumi said earlier, that her presence provided value. She gathered her courage.
"I'm glad I came." Sayo replied simply. She told herself this was easy, that she helped in relationships all the time so stop being a coward and do it. "I would love to take another class; would you like to exchange numbers to discuss it?" She had the store's number, of course but that wasn't what she wanted. The question had come out wordy, but Tsugumi seemed to understand.
"Sure!" She pulled a slip of paper out of her apron along with a pencil, scribbling something down on it. "I don't have my phone right now, but here's my number." She handed it to Sayo, who accepted it gingerly.
"Thank you." Sayo thanked her for what felt like the fifth time that day. "I look forward to speaking with you."
"Have a good day!" Tsugumi waved as Sayo turned to leave, the bell ringing again overhead as she exited the bakery.
Sayo almost turned the wrong way after walking out the door, having to remind herself which way her apartment was. She held the cookies in one hand and the slip of paper in the other. Carefully, she unfolded the paper to take a look inside.
The number was different from the store's number.
As she walked home, Sayo's heart felt warmer than it had in years.
End Note: I had to do research for this, so here are my citations. I'm sorry if it's not perfect MLA format.
"About IBCT" integrative behavioral couple therapy, accessed 01/04/2019, .
"Be a Marriage Counselor: Education and Career Roadmap" , accessed 01/04/2019, /be_a_marriage_
Spitalnick, Josh & Mcnair, Lily. "Couples Therapy with Gay and Lesbian Clients: An Analysis of Important Clinical Issues." Journal of sex & marital therapy. 31. (2005): 43-56.