I had been bored plenty of times before. The planet of flowers was beautiful but I was very often bored there. Even the Mists planet had me twiddling my thumbs occasionally. But I never thought that here of all places, in my cave full of family and friends, a place I finally felt like I truly belonged. I never in all my years thought I'd actually be bored here. With Ian, and Melanie and Jamie. The fact made be feel a little guilty. I had to remember that boredom was a good thing here, because that meant we were safe and had been for a very long time. But I ached for a little adventure anyway. A little danger.

"What's on your mind, Wanderer?" Ian's soothing voice pulled me out of my trance. He rolled over on the bed and wrapped his arm around my stomach, "you're a lot harder to read now with that face."

"Just about Jamie. I'm still not 100% convinced he's needed on the raid," I lied. It scared me to think about how fluent I'd become at lying. I could lie with ease to almost everybody now. Only Melanie and Ian were able to still call me out. And that was only about 50% of the time. I had to hold on tightly to the parts of me that was still pure Soul. As much as I loved my humans, I was born Soul and was afraid to lose those parts of me. I craved danger and lied to my love ones… Did that mean I could become violent too?

Ian didn't pick up on the lie. Maybe because it wasn't fully a lie. "Wanda," he sighed and pulled his face up to mine. Looking deep into his blue eyes automatically eased my mind.

"I know. You're sick of hearing about it and so am I, to be honest." I wrapped my arms around his neck and held his face inches from mine. I'd had lots of practise taking charge and a kiss like this was something I was very comfortable with. I held him with a steady grip and looked down at his lips. He let out a small groan. I loved to make him wait for it. I could be so easily self conscious in this body, and hearing that little groan of suffering slip out his lips; well that was just the reminder I needed.

I pressed my lips against his softly. I was only going for a good morning peck on the lips. But like always, Ian's body immediately responded in urgency. With enough force to push my head through the back wall of the cave, he started to move his lips against mine rhythmically. My arms went limp around his neck as he put his own hand behind my head to hold me steady. The other started undoing the buttons of my shirt. This was where my whole 'I wear the pants' routine would end. As much as I wanted to mesh our bodies together and twist around in these sheets and make him desperately happy, I felt extremely shy and unsure of what do with myself. I let him go as far as pulling my underwear off before I turned my body away from him and curled into the pillow. Again this was almost routine now and he wasn't surprised.

Ian stopped and lay down beside me, his arm wrapped around my stomach again. I knew he didn't mean to come across as pushy and whenever I made it clear I did not want to- he would stop immediately. We've had sex maybe 4 times since I got this body. The last time being well over a month ago while on a raid. I wanted to be with him more and I knew he would be with me every night if he could. I didn't know what was holding me back. I was just thankful he still loved to cuddle as much as I did. So we lay for as long as we could get away with, not talking.

I must have fallen back to sleep as I woke up later that morning alone in our room. I assumed the boys and Melanie must be ready and waiting for the next supply run, so I slipped on my clothes as fast as possible and grabbed my overnight bag as I ran out the door. As usual I'd probably waltz out into main plaza and find all my chores done and a to-go breakfast waiting; either supplied by Ian or Jamie. This body also seemed to tire easy and needed a lot of sleep. 1 year on and people were still being easy on me, protecting me, telling other people to look out for me etc. It wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't true. Maybe I just had high expectations because Melanie's body was so capable, but I'd been working so hard to get my physical strength up and yet I still struggled under the weight of a 7kg bag of potatoes. Only thing I was good for now was talking to other Souls. Although as Ian likes to reassure me all the time, it is the most helpful thing I could do anyway.

In the kitchen I spotted Jeb with Lucina's children. He was seemed to be teaching them how to bake bread but from the looks on their stunned faces, none of it was going in, "Morning Jeb, where's the boys at?"

"Morning hon, they're waiting for you I'd guess." I was not even a little surprised. I affectionally rubbed Isiah's head as he giggled at me and made my way to the back exit. "Don't forget your breakfast!" Jeb called out behind me.

With my small over-cooked bun in hand with an extra one for Jamie, I embarked on my 13th raid.

"Jared, come on, please. We've never had any problems! And the Souls would never assume she's lying, right Wanda? Even with Sunny there too!" Melanie protested, tugging on Jared's sleeve like a toddler. She was careful not to knock Jamie's head that lay on her lap. It was only his 3rd raid but the novelty wore off after the his first day out of the caves. Now he just slept through the whole thing, to Jared's dismay. I think Jared wanted Jamie to be like his apprentice. He saw Jamie as somebody to take care of the next generation when Jared became too old to do it himself. I smiled at the sweet sleeping boy, now 16 years old.

From the boot of the truck Kyle pipped up, "Exactly. It's not in their nature. They have no reason to suspect anything." He smiled at Sunny for reassurance and she nodded.

"I think we're getting too comfortable. Why add a little risk just for some extra comfort? It's not a necessity." Jared was always the level head. Despite how secure we felt on raids these days, he would never let down his guard until it was over and everyone was back to the safety of the cave walls. I stayed mostly quiet in the argument. I wanted to side with Jared, but not for his reasons. Getting a second hotel room for the night meant Ian and I would have a very private space to ourselves. And that made me nervous.

"Can you ease up for a second, please? We've done this a million times and an extra room makes no difference to our procedure. You can even sit watch at the window all night if it makes you feel better," Melanie was not giving up on this fight. And even if she won, I was pretty certain there was no way she would let him sit at the window all night either. "Ian? Can you back me up?"

Ian looked over at me and I was suddenly thankful for the boxes piled between our seats. But the distance did not save me from the blush that worked its way up my neck.

Ian reached over and squeezed my fingers, his eyes narrowed with concern, "It's your choice, Wanda. I don't want you doing anything that makes you feel unsafe." He looked a bit shy himself for a second then and peeked a knowing look at Melanie, "But it would be nice to have our own room."

Kyle laughed, "That's dramatic, O'Shea. Wanda is a leech too, what danger would she be in from them?"

Sunny and I both gasped. Sunny, because Kyle had used the word leech. (I'd sort of came to see it as an affectionate term). But it was Kyle's use of the word danger that had distracted me. Yes, maybe this would be fun. A small, innocent bit of danger. But at the same time, the thought of being alone (like properly alone) with Ian was a bit too overwhelming for me. Yet maybe it was time to face those fears. I wanted to make Ian happy and even more so than that I wanted to conquer my own stupid anxiety.

"It's easy-peasy," I said.

Melanie actually let out a squeal of excitement, "Easy-peasy!"