Author's Note:
A slight NSFW warning is in order I guess. So there.
I've never written anything sexual before so I'm venturing into uncharted territory here. If anything is lacking in this chapter, please rip me to shreds. It's how I learn.
Oh and please forgive the slight excess of exposition in this chapter. I figured it's best to just get it out of the way.
Blackwell Academy – April 2014
Normally the late afternoon sun shining through my dorm room window brings me a sense of relief knowing that the day is over and I can kick back and relax. Today however, is different and instead I'm having a staring contest with an old photograph of me and Max Caulfield. I've deleted all the photos I have of her from my laptop and now this old selfie taken back in October is all that remains. The longer I gaze at the photo, the more it seems like she's talking to me. It's like she's in the room with me but I just wish she was saying something nicer than 'loser' and 'creep', not that she actually said any of that.
I've had an unhealthy obsession with Max ever since she started at Blackwell back in September and it's only become worse. I text her way too much, I stalk her online and sometimes even around campus. She consumes nearly every waking thought and yet here I am, one hundred percent single. I had all these fantasies that we would get together and she would be my first love and the girl I lose my virginity to but it simply wasn't meant to be. Over the last few months she's shot back all the ideas I've had for the two of us to spend time alone together and I simply can't do it anymore.
First, she was too stressed with classes.
Then she was all messed up over Kate's suicide attempt.
After that she said she was reconnecting with Chloe Price, an old childhood friend.
Then she and Chloe were away in Seattle for Winter break.
After so much rejection, Captain Friendzone was born. Worst super hero ever. I've wasted so much of my senior year chasing a girl who clearly wasn't into me and now with graduation getting closer with each passing second, it seems I'm doomed to leave this place a pathetic and nerdy virgin.
Enough of this shit! Be a man and put it behind you. Move on!
I retrieve my scissors from my desk and waste no time in cutting the photo in half. I know it won't purge her from my mind in an instant but it's a first step. I cut the halves in half and so on and so on until the photo that I've jacked off to countless times is in pieces. Max Caulfield, I am officially done chasing you. No more. Never again.
My moment of clarity is ended by a knock on my door. "Yeah? Who is it?" I scatter the pieces of the photo into my bin and turn my desk chair to face the door.
"It's me," a familiar voice responds from the other side of the door. Perfect timing. I need a distraction from Max.
"It's unlocked," I say and in walks Luke Parker, my best friend. As much as I hate thinking about it, I know deep down that I'm gonna lose Luke as a friend after graduation. High school friendships have an expiration date though I guess there are exceptions. Blackwell is a great school but it's not without its flaws, namely the people here and Luke has always had my back when things get bad. I don't think I could ever tell him but he's the closest thing I've ever had to a brother.
"Hey man, wanna get up to date?" Luke holds up his flash drive. "You can copy what ever you want to your own flash. I finally found a good torrent site that doesn't just bomb your screen with porn whenever you click on a link."
"Damn, that's like finding Bigfoot. Let's see what you got." Luke hands me his flash drive and the hours fly by as we talk shit, watch TV on my laptop and thoughts of Max become white noise, for now at least.
The latest episode of American Dad finishes which causes Luke and I to yawn and stretch in near unison. Okay, time to call it a night. "So you and Brooke going to the party tomorrow night?" My question makes Luke smile. He and Brooke are so good together. He's changed so much since they started going out. Earlier in the school year I knew Brooke was into me but my mind was elsewhere. I should have taken a chance with her but my obsession with Max won out like it always did. At least Brooke was smart enough to move on sooner rather than later. Now she and Luke have been dating for months and it's a real challenge to conceal my envy.
Warren, you have no one to blame but yourself.
"Yeah we're gonna go. It'll be Friday night so why not try to enjoy it? The vortex club may be run by a bunch of pricks but at least they know how to throw a party. How about you? You gonna come? You can hang with me and Brooke."
"I don't think so," I tell him and begin to clear away the soda cans and candy wrappers from my desk. Fan-fucking-tastic. Soda and chocolate are great things to chow on before going to bed. No way am I getting a good nights sleep. "Besides you don't me being a third wheel and I ain't cock blocking my best friend." Luke suddenly smirks and looks away as if he's trying to hide something. "What?"
"Nothing," Luke says quickly. Something is up, I can feel it.
"Dude, out with it already."
Luke sighs in defeat. "Okay okay. I shouldn't be telling you this since I thought you and Brooke were into each other ages ago."
I can see how he would think that.
"It was never like that, don't sweat it. Just tell me what's going on. No trouble in paradise I hope."
Luke clears his throat starts pacing around my room. "She kinda… well… blew me, last night."
I can feel my face heating up. Locker room talk has never been my thing but it seems Luke wants to share. "For real?"
"Yep, for real."
I can't deny the jealousy I feel right now, but it's more jealousy of the idea of having a girlfriend rather than Brooke herself. Or perhaps rather the idea of having a girl in your life who wants to put your dick in her mouth.
Knock off this pathetic jealousy and be happy for your friend!
"That's awesome man. Seriously…" I hold up my fist and Luke bumps it. "I'm psyched for you. How was it?" I regret the question as soon as I ask it. Fuck, I shouldn't have asked that. Did I just cross the line?
Luke doesn't seem to be phased by my question. In fact, the ridiculous look on his face suggests I'm about to get more info than I care to hear. "Dude... it was mind blowing. It's like I'm dating Asa Akira." Asa Akira? Who the hell is that?
Before I can ask, Luke continues. "That girl is a total freak, not that I'm complaining. She hides her true self behind a nerdy personality and a pair of glasses."
"Ahhhh…" I can't help but smile at what he just said. "You just described Clark Kent."
We both start laughing like a couple of idiots. "I knew you would say that!"
I toss and turn in my bed hoping that it will dispel the excess sugar from my system, but it doesn't. This is fucking hopeless! I won't be able to fall asleep until classes start in the morning. Instead of having too much sugar which would cause me to crash, or too little which would allow natural sleep, I ingested the perfect amount to keep me up all night.
Fuck.
Shit.
Just let me go to sleep! PLEASE!
Jerking off may help but I know it's a bad idea since I would end up thinking about Max and avoiding thoughts of her in ANY context is my mission right now. Well that and falling asleep.
Rolling over to check my phone, I find it's 2:36am and that there are no texts or emails that will distract me from my restlessness.
Fuck this shit. I need a breath of fresh air.
Once I'm out of bed, I throw on a t shirt and some sweat pants along with socks in case my feet get cold. I've never broken curfew before but right now I couldn't give a shit.
The main hall of the dormitory is deserted as expected and I don't see light coming from any of the other rooms. I'm also delighted to find the Stephen Hawking quote that I put on my room slate is still there. Why the fuck does Blackwell have those slates anyway? It's just a way to bully people behind their backs and we already have social media fulfilling that purpose.
It's strange walking through the dorm hall at this hour. Usually this place is so alive with muffled chatter and music emulating from the rooms but all I hear now are my own footsteps which I hope don't wake anyone. I can't deny that the silence comes as a complete surprise. At the very least I was expecting sex sounds coming from certain rooms such as Logan's or Zach's or even Trevor's, but I guess sometimes people just gotta get some shut eye. Either that or they all wrapped up their hormone mandated fucking hours ago.
Having no clue as to weather or not security guards actually patrol at night, I slowly open the door which leads to the main courtyard and find it to be empty. All I see are fire flies and all I hear are crickets. Good. Perhaps the claims of patrolling security at all hours were all just smoke and mirrors after all. Old man Wells must have learned a thing or two by watching The Village. I smirk at the thought.
It's almost a little unsettling how dark this courtyard is. I've walked through here at night before but its never been like this. Many of the lights that usually illuminate the area are broken and there's no moon out tonight either. I guess Samuel will have a few bulbs to change in the morning. Star gazing isn't something I've ever been a fan of, usually because it strikes me as something couples do but I lie on one of the benches and take it in the view of the cosmos.
Oh man, this place has changed so much over the last few months. Or maybe it's the people that have changed. Bullying is down, fights are down, gossip is down. What changed? Was it Kate's suicide attempt or perhaps it's the fact that graduation is so close and people are over all the generic high school drama bullshit. I just wish I was changing too. Everyone else is slowly forming into an adult while I still cling to shit li-
An all too familiar sound takes my eyes off the stars and my thoughts are broken. I sit up towards the source and see someone sitting in the dark, crying alone.
Crying alone in the dark huh? Well I've been there, so who am I to judge?
Whoever it is faces away from the courtyard, so I can't get a decent look at them. That's definitely a girl but it's too damn dark to identify them. I get to my feet and feel an internal dual within me.
What should I do? Should I go over there and offer support, or should I just go back inside? Well if this girl truly wanted to be left alone she would have stayed in her dorm, right? Then again, she obviously doesn't want people hearing her through the walls.
I take another look around just to make sure we are alone and that no one has been woken. There's no one else in sight and I can't spot any open windows or switched on lights around the dorm. Looks like it's just me and the mystery girl.
Okay, at the very least I should get a closer look and see who it is. Nothing wrong with that right?
I take gradual steps in her direction, grateful that I didn't put on shoes or she might hear me coming. Don't be creepy Warren, just figure out who she is and go from there. Upon getting closer I notice she's dressed similar to me, except her t shirt is purple. She's quite slim, with short blonde hair and…Hold the fucking phone. Is that Victoria Chase? I take another close look just make sure I'm not crazy. Yep, that's her. I recognise that hair do anywhere. My concern for her crying suddenly dissipates and whatever sympathy I had within vanishes.
The fact that Victoria hasn't been expelled is a vile injustice that makes my stomach turn. Late last year Victoria was the spears tip of a bullying campaign aimed at Kate Marsh which drove the poor girl to slit her wrists one night. I wasn't there but the story that circulated around campus is that Kate left a suicide note of some kind on her room slate then locked herself away and opened up a few veins with a pair of scissors. Once it was clear what she had done, Max and Dana Ward managed to break down her door and slow the bleeding until paramedics arrived. I never figured Max as the type to kick down a door but I guess I misjudged her, as did everyone. I still remember talking to her the day after. She talked so much about being covered in Kate's blood and that it just kept squirting out of her veins. Kate wasn't the only one who was scarred that night.
I have no idea exactly what kinda price Victoria paid for triggering Kate's breakdown weather it was in the form of detention, unofficial suspension, a stern lecture. All I know is it wasn't enough for that hate filled cunt.
And now here she sits, crying her eyes out in the dark for one reason or another. A part of me wishes I brought my phone so I could film her and show the whole damn school just what the queen bee does when all the workers sleep. That would be poetic justice in its sweetest form. I shake my head at the idea figuring Blackwell doesn't need another scandal. What good would it serve?
I don't why this bitter skank is crying, and I don't give a rat's ass. She ain't worth my time. Besides she and I have never spoken a word to each other. She's not my problem.
Without an inch of remorse, I turn to leave Chase to her misery and head back to my dorm. Instead I accidentally smash my foot into a trash can that I didn't see and stub my toe.
Damn it that hurts!
Victoria jumps to her feet, "Who the fuck?"
Oh shit, this ain't good.
She turns to face me and despite the near blinding darkness, I know she recognises who I am. FUCK! The unanticipated wave of anxiety flowing through me instantly erases the pain in my foot. "Warren?" She blurts out. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? You perving on me?"
Something about her self-righteous tone sets me off. I never liked Victoria, but hate is a word I save until it's truly earned. Well, she earned it. I hate this fucking bitch!
"Don't flatter yourself," I shoot back at the bitch. "I came out here cos I couldn't sleep and these are campus public grounds, even if we are both breaking curfew. So get off your fucking high horse." Shit, where did that come from? I've never been so hostile towards someone in my life.
Victoria approaches with her usual confident façade and we are now face to face. "Well, well. Look who suddenly grew a pair."
It's a little scary how quickly she changed gears, from sorrow to anger in the blink of an eye. And I thought two face was bad.
"Am I supposed to be to taking lessons of courage from the girl who was just crying alone in the dark?" Her face falls ever so slightly and I know I have her on the ropes. "Piece of advice Chase, if you wanna cry alone, try doing it somewhere private." Telling off the head bitch of Blackwell has filled me with an overwhelming feel of pride of which I've never felt before. FINISH HER! "It should have been Kate out here tonight instead of me. I wish she could see how her tormentor is really a pathetic insecure sack of shit." Her face remains the same, broken. "Tell me, who's cock did you have to put in your mouth to save yourself from expulsion? Was it Wells? Or maybe it was Nathan's Dad."
Before I know it, there's a small hand with freshly manicured nails slapping me in the face. The left of my face feels inflamed all of a sudden and the smell of perfume is swimming through my nostrils. Is that why women spray perfume on their wrists? To leave a signature after a slap?
"How dare you talk to me like that!" Her smug words and the sudden surge of pain on my face all make me want to do something I never thought I'd do. "You're nothing but a laughable geek who can't escape the friendzone."
NO, THAT'S NOT WHO I AM ANYMORE. THIS BITCH DOESN'T KNOW ME!
My facial expression must have fallen like hers just did because she doesn't relent. "That's right nerd, Max will never fuck you." She suddenly giggles as if knowing something I don't. "You ever wonder why that is?"
I unconsciously clench my right fist.
HIT HER WARREN! Cave in that pretty face! For Kate, for Max and for yourself. Take control!
NO! DON'T DO IT! Think of your future. If you lay hands on a girl, you'll be expelled. How will an expulsion from Blackwell look on your MIT application?
GAH! This duality is killing me!
Without a chance to stop myself, my hand is around her throat and in the blink of an eye Victoria's smug face is replaced by ego shattering fear.
My heart is racing.
My breaths are like a machine gun.
I'm grunting like a caveman.
I can hear my teeth grinding.
All my repressed hate is unleashed.
Who am I? What am I doing?
"You," I spit out. My hand remains around her throat but I can tell she's not choking. "You have no idea how much I hate you."
Don't do this! Stop!
In that moment, something passes between us. I have no idea what it is, but it doesn't put out the fire. If anything, it throws gasoline on it. Victoria's face changes once again, now from scared to something I haven't seen before. Her eyes, in fact her whole body becomes limp almost as if in submission.
What the fuck is she doing?
Victoria raises her left hand in what I assume is an act of self-defence and I brace myself for the worst. Give me your best bitch! However, her hand isn't clenched and her eyes aren't filled with rage or fear. Instead, her delicate hand softly caresses the arm that holds her throat.
She places her right hand behind my neck with a ghost of a smile running across her face which is devoid of any makeup.
Wait, is she gonna-
Victoria Chase pulls my head down towards her own and our lips connect in a primal and unrestrained fashion.
What?!
I have no idea what I'm doing but the need to kiss her back consumes me, so I do. Everything in this moment just feels so natural and right. The taste of her lips are… beyond description.
I want her!
The kiss is broken after a few seconds. We are both panting like animals, the need to fuck overcoming any sense of logic or reason. Jesus Christ, I am rock hard right now. I can feel my erection pressing against my sweats like never before. We kiss again but this time I pull her towards me. Our tongues meet in a messy of collision of saliva and hormones.
I take my hand off her throat and instead put it around her perfectly formed ass, my other hand following suit. God her ass is spectacular. She moans like a whore is response which makes me even harder.
My entire body tenses and I flinch at the sudden yet remarkable feel of something touching me between the legs. WOAH! Sensing my discomfort, Victoria takes her tongue out of my mouth thus forcing my eyes open. I look down to find her hand groping my erection through my sweats with the grace of a sex craved lunatic that I've only ever seen in porn.
Now ain't the time to be fridgit!
"Prude," she says teasingly, and she continues to stroke my cock. "Gotta say, you're a lot bigger that I thought you'd be." Her words almost knock the wind out of me. Am I? I've never had anything to compare it to, so what the hell do I know?
"Shut up slut and get back to work," my response is a little harsher than I intended but it doesn't stop her hands from working their magic. She bites her lower lip in delight and as much as I wanna kiss her again, I hold myself back. The feel of her hands and the carnal look that possesses her eyes is more than my mind can bare.
Fuck, I'm gonna come.
I take my hands off her ass and reach for her tits instead, but the sensation is suddenly stopped and Victoria's eyes widen in panic as she looks over my shoulder. The moment between us is shattered as I realise that we are no longer alone.
Fuck!
"Fuck," she whispers very loudly, matching my thoughts. In the blink of an eye she's running towards the entrance to the dorms and leaving me breathless along with a severe case of blue balls.
I turn around to face what caused Victoria's sudden anxiety and spot a slow moving light that's coming from the main campus grounds and is getting closer by the millisecond.
Blackwell security! Shit! RUN!
Moving faster than I ever have in my life, I bolt towards the door and shut it behind me once inside. Whoever that was must have heard the running, but I doubt he was able to identify us. I just hope it wasn't Madsen. If it was Skip, he'll be happy that we are back in our dorms and simply leave it at that. That dude ain't a fan of paper work.
I hear rapid footsteps coming from the floor above me. It must be Victoria getting back to her dorm and I know I should be doing the same. This ain't the time to reflect.
Sitting on my bed and feeling relieved that I'm safely back in my room, I try to slow my breathing but more importantly, I'm trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Did that seriously just happen? Did I make out with Victoria Chase? Did she just give me an improvised tug job? Would we have fucked if we weren't interrupted?
All these questions I'm asking myself are giving me a headache, or maybe it's the fact that most of my blood remains below the equator. I've still got a god like erection and the damn thing won't go down!
I take a few aspirin and sit at my laptop figuring I should check Facebook, not that there would be anything new on there but a distraction is a distraction. My news feed is full of all the same shit from yesterday as I expected.
Political memes.
Star Wars memes.
Dana & Trevor are in love.
Logan is tired from football practise.
Blah blah blah.
Something on my screen catches my eye that didn't appeal to me yesterday. It's a few photos that Victoria recently took of the campus grounds. It's not the photos that I care for as art isn't my thing, it's more the link to her page that might give me a clue as to why she did what she did. Its always been an unwritten rule that all Blackwell students are friends on Facebook. Real life friends is a different story though.
Facebook stalking is something I'm familiar with, but it's always been aimed at Max Caulfield. It's kind of a refreshing change of pace that I'm obsessing over someone else for a once. At least this time around I have a reason to be obsessed. That's progress Warren.
Victoria's page doesn't give much indication about any recent life changes that would explain her crying or wanting to bang me. Scrolling down I continue to find nothing but photos, friendly banter and the occasional joke. Something from last week suddenly catches my attention like never before. Wow! It's a photo of her and Taylor at the beach. There are others like it in the album that feature Courtney as well so I assume she took it. Both Victoria and Taylor are wearing denim short shorts and bikini tops but my eyes remain solely on Victoria.
Damn she has an amazing body. Figures a girl with a body like that would wanna flaunt it 24/7, but I've never seen her wear anything so revealing. Not that I ever noticed before now. She always seems to dress classy, but not slutty.
I sigh knowing that there's only one thing left to do.
Well it's after 3am.
Everyone is asleep whilst I cannot.
I have an unwavering erection.
And I'm staring at a picture of a girl I nearly fucked.
I get up and double check that my door is locked, a habit I've had for many years now after one awkward moment when I was fourteen. Satisfied that privacy is assured, I take off my sweats and take matters into my own hands.