Ryce's laughter had turned to soft chuckles before I poked him in his rib cage and shushed him.
'Look,' I mouthed as I pointed over the rock behind our backs, in the direction of the orcs. His face changed expression within a moment and he pushed me further down behind the rock, even though I knew I was not visible on the other side. He ducked down, too, and I saw him figuring out the odds of two against at least twenty orcs. I knew what he would decide before he even confirmed it, as it was folly to think him and I would be able to defeat them. We would run. He looked at me as he made a fist, index finger pointed up as he made circles from his wrist. That was code for get to your horse but do not mount, leave behind what is not strapped to your saddle, and stay hidden best as you can. Despite the situation I was proud I was able to remember all that and was thankful we had taken the time to teach me these codes. I nodded, thanked myself for not having taken anything from my saddle, and then thanked Bema for the fact that the horses were in a small gap in the hill that could not be seen because of the trees, rocks, and bushes in front of it. This was actually a very good place for an ambush, I thought, if only we were not alone.
I knew we had to hurry as the band of orcs was coming closer, but they were still a little bit away. Hopefully they were confused the sounds that had attracted them had stopped, but that could have also made them suspicious. Ryce had let me go first and very faintly I could hear their heavy footsteps coming closer. As we made our way into the dent in the hill, I took Hefric's reigns and tugged them softly so he would follow, which he did, thank Bema. I told myself I would thank his previous master for having done an excellent job in training Hefric.
I wondered when it would be safe enough for us to start riding, because I had not seen any horses with the orcs, but they might have arrows to shoot and my heart sank. As we left the gap in the hill, I looked back at Ryce and he held his hand flat up, meaning I had to wait. He looked back at the hill, and I do not know what he saw, but he motioned me to continue faster. Just as I was picking up my pace, he made a fist twice, meaning I had to get on Hefric and ride hard. I put my food in the strap, kicked Hefric twice so he would speed up, and swung my other leg over. I grabbed the reins close to Hefric's neck and made myself as small as I possibly could while still being able to stay balanced on my horse. From the corner of my eye I saw Ryce had done the same, and we were off.
It did not take long before I heard the displeased grunts and shouts behind me, but I felt no relief yet, still anticipating the possible arrows they could send our way. Their short legs could not possibly catch up to the speed of our Rohirric horses, so I was positive they would not chase us. Then I heard the first swoosh of an arrow, but I told myself not to look where it went, I told myself to keep looking ahead, as Ryce had told me to do if I was ever in this kind of situation. Once again I chastised myself for thinking I could have managed on my own. Three or four more arrows were being released at us, but soon we were too far away. Their bows were short and the strings too knotted, not made for a true long distance shot.
Our horses were going fast in their sprint, unnecessarily fast in my opinion as we had put quite the distance between them and us, but Ryce did nothing to imply we could slow down. I allowed myself to straighten up a bit and peeked behind me. No one was chasing us. They were just little black blips in the distance.
'Ryce, we can go slower now,' I said. He did not respond.
'Ryce?' I looked over and saw he was still looking ahead, hunched over Tordag, with a strange look on his face, one I could not quite place. Immediately I went stone cold. Had he been hit by an arrow?
'Ryce!' I shouted. He jerked up, as if he were roughly awakened and he looked over at me. His expression was blank for about two seconds, and then the same determined look returned he had had when he had been giving me orders only minutes ago.
'Are you hurt?' I asked, steering Hefric closer to Tordag, because I could not see anything from where I was.
'What?'
'Are you hurt?' I asked again. He slowed Tordag down so I did the same; he went to sit up right and I bend forward so I could see his front. I saw nothing, so I leaned backwards to look at his back and saw nothing. There was nothing sticking out of his legs, either.
'No, are you?' I was getting annoyed.
'No! Why on Arda did you seem so… so… out of it?' I felt that did not describe his state of moments before correctly, but I did not know how else to describe it.
'I… I-uh,' he cast his eyes down, 'I had not seen them. I was reckless. It could have gone very wrong,' Really.
'But I saw them. On time. We made it out fine. Nothing happened, we still have all our possessions, our horses, we are both unhurt. Do not be so hard on yourself, Ry,' he seemed to think about this.
'Yes. You have handled well. However, this was a harsh reminder we should always be vigilant,' he was right about that, of course. I felt a rush of happiness as he complimented me that I had handled well.
'I thank you,' he said softly. I looked over at him, surprised. No one had ever said that to me before. Then again, I had never saved someone's life before. Up until that moment I had not realized I had actually saved our lives.
'I see you,' I said, following our Rohirric tradition of showing understanding of what had just passed: it meant we showed each other gratitude and respect, that it was no small thing to be saved from death nor to save someone from death. It was one of my favourite customs. I had been saved before, and as we rode on the last plains of the Wold until we reached the Anduin, I thought back at one of the times Eomer had saved mine.
/ / /
Memory
'I do not want to do that!' I said fiercely.
'My dear, if I had not done the things I did not want to do, I would not have been able to give you all my wise advice over the years,' Olfete responded, quite happy with herself. I sighed, what was that supposed to mean?
'I am not planning on giving my daughter unwelcome advice. I will not do it and that is my final answer,' I was looking at myself in the looking glass and almost felt repulsed at my own reflection staring back at me.
'That is because you are still without children. And you are not of age yet, so I dare say I have the final answer. You will wear that to the Yule festivities. You can change into whatever you like for the evening meal,' I let out a harsh grunt and closed my eyes and clenched my jaw before I looked at myself again. I was wearing a dress. To the Yule festivities. The hunt that takes place before the evening meal, and whatever was hunted and taken back to Meduseld would be the evening dinner. Olfete ordering me to wear a dress was her not so subtle way of telling me I was not going to participate in the hunt. And because I was not yet of age, I had to listen. I grunted again.
'I would wager Eowyn gets to participate,' I said.
'That is not up to me. Now allow me to braid your hair, so sit down,' I sighed in my defeat. I sat down in front of the fireplace, which was burning up its last bits of wood as it was early in the morning. Too early in the morning, I thought, and now I actually got up for nothing. Not participating in the hunt meant that I had to go on the water to fish. I would smell like fish for the entire day.
As Olfete was braiding my hair, I was calming down a bit. The intricate pattern of braids she was making felt very calming and I knew it would look beautiful once it was done. I looked down at my dress and saw for the first time how beautiful it was. I was not yet of age, but I would be next year, so this would be my last year as a girl. I should have known Olfete would have wanted to pull out every trick she knew to make it memorable. Little did I know exactly how memorable it would be.
My dress was a deep red and it fell wide around my hips as Olfete had made sure to put enough padding beneath it. The bodice was the same colour, except for the lace pattern of dark green flowers, almost making it look like a flower bed of roses. The sleeves were of the same lace material in the same floral pattern.
In Rohan, a girl coming of age was not one big celebration day, but the year leading up to it was. That was the time people would start paying attention to the girl, to see how she grew up to be. When I was younger I used to mock the ways of Gondor, because how much could a girl show in one day in comparison to a whole year? But I had felt the pressure at every opportunity Olfete had taken to pride me. Now I felt a strange sense of confidence. Probably because Yule was one of the very few occasions for us to really dress up. Nobody seemed to think about the impracticality of fishing in a beautiful gown, but at least I would look graceful when I pulled a fish out of the water.
Slowly everyone was arriving at the Small lake. In my opinion it was not that small, but it was not big enough to be included on our maps and so everyone called it the Small lake. It was frozen all over, except for several patches that had been broken open during the night, where the fishing would take place. There was a rock formation at one side of the lake that bowed over the lake, and so we liked to call it the Bowing rock. When I was a little girl, Háma used to tell me and all the other young children about how the lake and the rock had been falling in love over the years as the Gods created the Mark. The rock was courting the lake, but the mountains were jealous of their love and so froze the rock to stop it from growing closer to the lake, making the rock forever bow to the lake. It had always been my favourite story and many of our songs included this magical tale.
I hugged my wolf fur tighter around me as a cool breeze swept through the air as I was very much focussed on looking for Eomer. I wanted to wish him luck on the hunt and I wanted to see his reaction on my gown. I had a feeling he would start courting me as soon as I came of age, and while I was still getting used to that idea and all the implications that came with it, my heart could not help but flutter at the idea.
'Well, well, well, look who cleans up very nicely if she puts her mind to it!' came from behind me. I turned around and smiled broadly at Aldin, he had been away to deliver horses to the training fields and I was worried he might not make it back in time.
'Aldin, you made it!' I said. Then I wanted to run to him to give him a hug, but I had not quite figured out how one runs in a tent, so I must have looked rather silly as I made my way to him, sort of running, sort of tumbling.
'There are no excuses to miss Yule. And now I am even more grateful that I made it, because I will thoroughly enjoy watching you handling fish while maintaining your grace in that dress. I must find Ryce, I have a wager in mind,' he said and he left.
I almost felt hurt as he hurriedly took his leave, but then realized that even though he had missed me, he must have missed Ryce more. As I watched him leave, I felt someone had come to stand close behind me.
'How come I always hear them wager something that includes you? It is never about whether or not it is going to storm, or if a filly will be good enough for breeding at the proper age' Eomer. I did not turn around, not yet.
'Don't be silly. They would never wager about horses,' I said.
'Indeed, at least they possess some sense regarding horses. What are you wearing?' He sounded confused.
'Never seen a dress before?' I said and as I turned towards him, I made sure that my fur fell a bit from my shoulders, while keeping it in place with my arms. I looked up at him and saw him staring back.
'I- have. Of course I have,' twice he looked me up and down fast, and then he grabbed my fur. Wha-
'You'll get a cold if you wear your fur like that,' he said briskly as he pulled it over my shoulders again. I felt a blush creeping up in my embarrassment as I had thought and hoped this conversation would have gone in another direction, so I quickly looked away.
'Yes, of course,' it was silent for a moment, so I added, 'are you ready for the hunt?'
'I am. Hopefully we will find a boar. Those are always fun to hunt,' he said. I wanted to agree, they were quite challenging to catch or so I had been told, but what did I know about it, really? I decided I would catch a boar next year.
'I hear you are to tend to the fishing. I trust there will be plenty caught,' he said.
'Oh, yes. Fishing. There is nothing quite like it,' I said and I realized I sounded bitter. He laughed out loud, so I turned to look at him again. The sun was shining from behind me and it lit up his eyes in an almost magical way. I forgot what I had been thinking about.
'What is it?' he asked, those eyes staring into mine.
'Your eyes, they are-'
'Sorrun, you need to get to the boats. They are about to leave,' Olfete said. Where had she come from? The magic was broken, I felt myself getting red and I had never before been more thankful for Olfete to appear than I was at that moment.
'Do good,' I said, the traditional way of wishing someone luck before a hunt. I did not wait for his response as I quickly turned around and made my way to the lake. Was I really about to admit that his eyes looked like molten gold in a sea of blue? One of these days I-
'Sorrun!' Eomer shouted after me. Oh no. I stopped, but did not turn around.
'Allow me to walk you,' he said, folding my arm in his, 'you were saying something about my eyes,' the sheer audacity…
'Was I? I do not remember,' I was hoping I had lost the redness in my face.
'No? Pity. However, it reminded me I have yet to say something about your dress,' he said.
'You do? I thought you already did,' I responded.
'Did I? What did I say?' He asked.
'That you have seen dresses before,' I said and he laughed and it sounded genuinely happy.
'I did say that. What I should have said was that you look mesmerizing,' my breath got caught in my throat and I think I made a small miss step, as he had suddenly placed his hand over mine to steady me.
'Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself,' and he did, because the hunters wore different armour than usual. This was the armour worn at special occasions. Only then did I notice the fabric in his was also dark red, and his armour pieces black. His hair also had braids and was half-up in a bun. He looked more than handsome, but that was not appropriate for me to say out loud. We had arrived at the lake and I saw all the boats were already dragged to the open patches. I was supposed to help with that, but as I thought about it, how would I have managed that in my dress? Really, coming of age was not a practical matter. Eomer stopped walking and so did I.
'Good luck,' he said, 'maybe we could share a fish tonight,' he said and he walked away. I was frozen where I stood. Surely he did not know that sharing a fish is a custom in Gondor, saved only for betrothed? I shook my head and slowly stepped on the ice, trying to find a boat that was unoccupied. I could not bring myself to socialize after what had just passed.
/ / /
Unaware how much time had passed exactly, I was growing impatient. I had not caught a single fish. Not one. The water beneath my boat did not even stir. It was smooth and dark. Never in my life had I been so bored. From afar I had heard the shouts from the hunters, but now it was getting quiet and I could see people returning. I felt myself losing interest in trying to catch anything as it was not working out anyway. Luckily I was okay with losing and I had told myself it would be a source of joy and laughter for my friends when they learned that at my last fishing festivity, I had caught nothing. So I let my mind wander and I imagined myself to be amongst the hunters. I looked over the lake and thought about catching a wild boar.
All of a sudden, the horn that signalled the end was blown and I startled. I looked around me and saw my boat had drifted far away from the edge of the ice and I cursed myself for not paying more attention. I took the oars and made my way to the ice. I was cold through and through, despite my warm wolf fur. As I was parallel to the ice with my boat, I set foot on it and heard it crack much louder than was usual.
For a split second I thought about getting on the ice at another part, but it was too late: the ice broke beneath me and as my full weight was on that foot, I fell forward and fell with my face on the ice. Nice. I felt blood running down my nose. Very nice. Then I heard the ice beneath me protest against this sudden weight and I stayed very still. I could very well be in a lot of trouble. My feet suddenly felt very cold and I realized a part of me must already be in the water. I was in trouble. I firmly told myself not to panic.
I tried to see where the others were with their boats, but I faced the wrong direction: everyone was behind me. Another crack came and this one was louder than the others. As I realized this, I knew I had to slowly push myself forward, even if it meant going further away from the shore. Ever so slowly I pulled myself forward with my arms, not using my legs, and the ice made its protests beneath me. I felt the ice under my legs become more solid, but I kept pushing myself forward. I had to be certain the ice would be strong enough before I stood up. I pushed a few more feet and started softly kicking the ice with my feet, it felt solid. I tasted blood in my mouth and my teeth would not stop clattering.
'Sorrun!' I heard Eowyn shout behind me.
'Yes!' I shouted back. My voice did not sound as my own, it sounded lower and hoarser.
'Are you alright?' she asked.
'Peachy! Can you help?'
'Do not move!' that was not Eowyn. That was Eomer. Immediately I froze and suddenly the cold was overwhelming. I could not feel my feet any longer. I could not stay here. So I inched forward and the ice did not protest anymore. I saw this as a sign of solidness, so slowly I stood up.
'I said not to move, Sorrun!' He shouted. I was standing now, and nothing happened. So I slowly turned around to face him.
'It's too cold to stay down there. The ice is fine now,' I said, although I was not sure they heard me. They were also on the ice and not too far away, but my voice did not carry far.
'Move slowly, inch by inch,' Eomer instructed me.
'I know how to walk on thin ice, thank you very mu-' a loud crack, and then I felt my body go cold from my feet up to my head and everything around me was dark. I looked up and saw where I had fallen through, but I felt so heavy and I felt myself going down. Do not panic, I told myself again.
I was trying to swim up towards the light, but my fur was too heavy so I unclasped it. The loss of the weight was helping, but it was still almost impossible for me to swim up. The light above me started to blur and I thought I was sinking further. It was so silent here. The coldness around me felt like thorns pricking my skin and my lungs started to burn. Hold your breath. I needed to lose more weight, so I tried to take my dress off, but my fingers would not move the way I wanted them to and I could not untie the laces at my front. It was so cold, so silent. My lungs burned. I could not feel my body. I was sinking. I tried to look up and saw the light had gone.
Cold. Burning. Silence. Darkness.
I could not think of anything to do that would help me go up.
I closed my eyes and breathed in, coughed, breathed in more water.
I lost my thoughts, only felt burning, silence, darkness.
It was not that cold anymore.
Somewhere I felt a warmth on my arm, and then the light above me returned. I felt more warmth on my arms and I started hearing noises. The light was getting so bright now it almost hurt. Then my face felt colder, and the noises became sounds I recognized as voices, and I felt air instead of water and so I started coughing immediately. I could not stop and my lungs were protesting but also taking in big gulps of air. The voices around me were overwhelming after being in that deafening silence. Someone was tugging at my clothes.
'Get a horse ready,' someone shouted.
'Is there another fur?' I could not place the voices, not yet.
'She needs to get out of those clothes first,'
'We need to get off the ice first,' I thought I heard at least two different people talking.
'Eomer, get the horse,'
'But-'
'She needs to get out off those clothes! Hurry,' was it Eowyn? More tugging at my clothes, but I felt myself drifting off.
'Stay awake, darling,' Olfete? I did not want to stay awake. I suddenly felt the relief of losing an immense weight, but then it was replaced by another.
'Sorrun, say something,'Eowyn? I could not say anything. Everything that was happening was a blur. I did not know if I was laying down, or standing, or sitting. I did not know where I was. I felt tired. Somehow it felt like everything around me was moving.
'Almost there, stay awake,'
'I lost fur,' I mumbled.
'What?' someone responded. Who was that? It sounded close to my ear.
'Fur. My mother's. Lost,'
'Do not worry about that now,' Who was that? I felt so sleepy. More noises came and I felt myself being hoisted up.
'I'll take her,'
'No, you will not. I will,'
'Eowyn, please,'
'There is no time, Eomer! You know as well as I do it will not do. Ride with me, Aldin brought Firefoot too,' Someone tugged at the furs around me and I started to feel cold again, there was wind in my face. It felt like I was waking up, so to say.
'Eowyn,' I said. I was finally able to use my eyes again and saw I was on Windfola in front of Eowyn. I was covered in at least two furs and saw I was wearing a shirt and leggins underneath, they were way too big. Not mine.
'You are going to be fine,' she said. I looked over and saw Eomer riding beside us.
'Did you catch a boar?' I asked. My voice sounded so strange.
'Theodred did. I caught several birds and a wolf,' his voice was soothing.
'Tell me about the hunt,' I wanted to hear his voice more. And so he did, he was an amazing story teller. The tiredness faded slowly and I was getting warmer.
By the time we reached Edoras I had stopped clattering my teeth and I could move my fingers again. I was rushed to the houses of healing, Eomer and Eowyn were ushered away and Olfete had stayed by my side. She told me Theoden King was the one who had carried me back to land and I had to process that for a while. It explained the voice I had not recognized. The Healer told me I would be fine if I took my rest and slept on my side tonight, in case of any water that might still be in my lungs. I was not to be left alone. I had to take my dinner here, but if I felt better later on I was allowed to join the festivities after the meal in Meduseld. I did not want to go there and I did not think they would make me. I did not want to face anyone. I closed my eyes for a bit, trying not to think about what my friends would say.
I had dozed off and was waking up because I heard voices.
'You should go back to the hall, you are expected there,' Olfete said.
'I will go after I made sure she is okay,'
'She is. I told you. She needs rest,'
'Eomer,' I said. I did not want Olfete to send him away. Apparently there was someone I wanted to see, after all. He looked at me and was visibly relieved. He walked over and stopped by the side of the bed. I was under a pile of furs and was pretty sure only my face was visible. I wondered if he was fighting the urge to laugh. I could not read his expression.
'I will be back in a bit,' Olfete said, there were Healers around, which is why I thought Olfete was okay with leaving us "alone". I was waiting for Eomer to say something, but he did not.
'Are you alright?' I asked. He sat down on the chair next to my bed. Somehow he still towered over me.
'I thought I told you not to move,' he said. I swallowed.
'You did,'
'So tell me, why did you?' he sounded angry. I swallowed again.
'I was cold and I thought the ice was steady where I stood up,' it still made sense to me.
'Clearly it was not. You should have listened to me and waited -' he started, but I interrupted him.
'Until you reached me so we both could have fallen through the ice? Then Theoden King would have had to pull us both out!' I felt my anger flare up as I sat upright.
'Theoden King pulled you out now, did he? That is strange. I thought I was the one who jumped into the water to pull you up and out. I must have been mistaken,' oh. I realised my mouth had fallen open and I quickly shut it. My anger had gone. His had not.
'I thank you,' I quickly said. He did not respond for a long moment and I started to fear he would reject me.
'I see you,' he finally said, but in a tone I could not quite place. Was it regret?
'Why did you not fight?' he asked.
'What do you mean?' I asked, confused.
'You had sunken deep into the water and you were not moving,' Well, this was not the conversation I had hoped to have with him right now.
'I did fight. I had taken the fur off and was trying to undo my dress as it was terribly heavy,'
'Why did you not use a knife to cut your dress?' Eomer asked.
'I did not have a knife on me -' I said, but he did not let me finish.
'Why not?'
'I was not going to participate in the hunt, so why would I have?' I was getting angry again.
'I have told you many times before, carry a knife with you! You never know if you are going to need it!' he said, his voice slightly raised.
'How was I supposed to know I was going to need it!'
'You are making my point!' he said harshly.
'I shall also always bring a plate as I never know when I might eat something, or a candle if I am suddenly in the dark! And while I am at it, packing my bag with things I might ever need, I should also include a box to stand on when I am ever in need to reach something up high!' I said.
'Stop acting like a child, those things are not comparable to a knife,'
'I am a child!' we were both breathing heavily and up until then I was not aware that we had moved closer to each other. His face was so close to mine I could see that his eyes were red.
'Yes, you are. Moments like these are an easy reminder at exactly how young you are,' he said and it hurt more than I wanted to admit. I felt my eyes sting and I backed away into the bed again. I felt his eyes on me but I did not dare look at him.
'I am sorry. I did not come here to fight,' still I could not bring myself to look at him.
'Why did you come then? You seemed perfectly happy shouting at me,' it took him a bit to answer.
'I needed to see if you were alright. When you fell through the ice - I - it was - and then you were so deep in the water it -,' he sighed, 'give me your hand,' this surprised me and I looked over at him, but he was looking at the bundle of furs that I was buried under. I moved my arm from underneath it all and placed my hand in his as he held it out for me.
'Still cold,' he said, before he placed his other hand on top.