Chapter Chapter LXV

Phantom circled around Dash's house, searching diligently for the ghostly offender. Which is to say his mind was focused on Paulina's proposition of a double date.

His train of thought was distracted as a wave of colors rushed at him. Unable to react quickly enough, Phantom winced as the attack slammed into his tangible body. He was carried through the sky before being violently slammed into the ground. It was then Phantom realized he had been attacked by a colored assortment of plastic balls one would find in a recreational establishment like-

"The kid has balls, I'll give him that!"

-Chuck E. Cheese's. Phantom pushed himself up off the ground and glared at his nasally-voiced adversary. The grey rat, dressed in a purple tee shirt and hat with green pants and elbow pads, grinned maliciously back at him.

"You have got to be kidding me," Phantom mumbled. "You're real?"

"Real enough to kick your ass!"

"Gee, you'd think a children-oriented character would have a cleaner vocabulary."

"I don't see any kids around. But that's because we're on your playing field. Let's say we even the odds a bit?"

Chuck lunged forward and Phantom braced for the attack. The ghost boy prepared to grab the rodent's outstretched hands and toss him aside, but as the furry limbs connected with his body Phantom felt his body decreasing in mass. He continued to shrink until the rat's arms clapped together. Phantom had disappeared.

Sam sat against the wall in Paulina's room, silently brooding over what had just occurred. The other girls kept their distance from her after she had initially lashed out at them. Jazz, however, would not be deterred so easily.

"Sam, look-"

"You know what the worst part about it is?"

Jazz sat down next to the girl. "What?"

"Not that he didn't get all choked up, not that he only seemed to notice that I was wearing his shirt, not that he didn't notice my hair, but that he didn't notice any of that . . . as my friend."

Jazz looked at Sam sympathetically. "You know how clueless he is, Sam, its almost inhuman."

Sam chuckled. "I know he's your brother and I'm sorry, but nobody can be that stupid on accident."

"So you think he's purposely not noticing your outward appearance to spite you for whatever reason he would have for doing so?"

". . . Yes."

"Well you know that I know you're wrong, which means you must be. And I know why you'd say something like that."

Sam looked at the floor dejectedly.

"Just give him time. You're only fourteen for crying out loud! By the time you're my age you might find that you don't even like him anymore and you'll be lusting after guys like Dash or Kwan."

"Uh, ew?"

"You say that now. Just wait three or four years and you might think differently."

"And what if I still like him then?"

"If Danny hasn't made a move by the time he's eighteen at the latest, then he's a lost cause. Take this time to get to know him better. I mean, you probably know him better than I do, but if you two keep getting closer as friends, won't that make things easier for you later?"

"If he's still available by then," Sam muttered.

"What?"

Sam gestured at Paulina and then to Valerie, who was staring death and hatred at Paulina.

"Those two?"

"Yes, those two."

"Valerie broke up with him!"

"Well she still likes him. She told- no, wait, told is too gentle a word. I should say threatened me with that information. And Paulina pretty much came out and said she was interested. How am I supposed to compete with them? To Danny I'm just the little sister he never had."

"Sam, don't worry. As long as I can still influence his mind underneath that adamantium skull of his, I'll do everything possible to make him see you for who you really are, which is a sweet, loveable young woman."

"Thanks Jazz, I- wait, adamantium? How do you know what that is?"

Jazz stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles in her jeans. "Danny still hasn't learned to clean up after himself. He leaves his comic books everywhere and I usually get stuck putting them away. They're actually pretty interesting reads, to be honest."

"Really?" Sam said with a sarcastic smirk.

"But if you tell anyone I said that I will deny it up and down." The older girl winked at Sam before heading over to a group of girls her own age.

Sam stayed in her spot, thinking about what Jazz said. She hoped that her crush's sister was right and silently prayed that Danny wouldn't end up being a lost cause.

"You're a lost cause!" Chuck E. Cheese exclaimed as he laughed snobbishly.

Phantom's eyes slowly opened, revealing some sort of kiddy wonderland. Arcade games lined almost every wall. A massive playground area dominated the center of the building and was surrounded by other game machines and entertainment devices. Phantom tried to float forward, but found he was held in place by strings. Upon further inspection, the strings proved to be tickets of some sort. Phantom continued to struggle against them, but something about the normally flimsy paper strands was keeping him tethered to the wall. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that they were glowing.

Phantom looked ahead and saw the large rat creature surrounded by dozens of enthusiastic children.

"Where am I?" Phantom demanded.

"As if you have to ask? You're at . . ." the rodent held his hands out to his sides.

"CHUCK E. CHEESE'S!" the mob of youngsters roared in unison, completing their idol's sentence.

"And I brought you here to expose you for the criminal you are! Take a good look, kids," Chuck pointed at Phantom, "at what a bad guy looks like!"

"But my mommy and daddy said Phantom was a good guy!" said a little boy.

"Mommy and daddy must not know about Phantom too well then, Tommy, because Phantom kills puppies!" The group of kids gasped in horror. "And he kills kittens!" Another gasp.

"He's lying! I'd never kill a puppy o-or a kitten! Ever!"

"Who are you going to believe? Me or that . . . bad guy over there?" Chuck E. Cheese said, glaring at Phantom.

"This is unbelievable," Phantom mumbled, continuing to struggle against his restraints.

"What's unbelievable is that you kill bunnies too!" some of the children began to cry. "But fear not, little ones! For Chuck E. Cheese will put an end to Phantom's evil, once and for all!"

"Hold on just one second," Phantom shouted, still trying to free himself. "Kids, do you know that Chuck E. Cheese is an actual rat? A big, hairy, monster mutant rat?"

Every single pair of eyes widened simultaneously and slowly turned to look at the creature that was, supposedly, their savior. The rat looked at them with a nervous smile. "Well, you know, I'm not a monster or a mutant, but-"

"RAT!" one of the little girls shrieked. "IT'S A RAT!"

"My mommy said rats have RABIES!"

"RUN AWAY!"

The kids began screaming and running in all directions. Phantom suddenly noticed the absence of a particular aspect of the fun-zone.

"Where are all these kids' parents?"

Chuck looked away from the fleeting children and grinned. He snapped his fingers and Phantom watched as the multi-colored spheroids in the ball pit came to life and rolled out of their containment. Every adult that had been in the building was lying underneath, bound by the same ghostly tickets that Phantom was. Looks of terror, helplessness and confusion were etched onto their faces.

"Couldn't have them spoiling my fun, could I?"

"You're one crazy pest, you know that?"

"You could say that. But who would believe you? When the police find you here with the blood of these families on your white gloves, how will they react to tales of Chuck E. Cheese committing the murders? You'll be killed without a second thought."

"I take it back. You're insane!"

"Be that as it may, you can't escape. I call the shots here, and I say that you need to be out of the picture."

"Why? So you can take over the world using your chain of restaurants as your headquarters?"

The rat cackled at Phantom's assumption. "You are probably the stupidest ghost I've ever seen. What use would I have in taking over the world? I'm only here to clear this area of obstacles for my master, the Turpetrator."

"So he picked a children's icon to do his dirty work? Let me guess, The Turpetrator is a giant yellow bird that lives in a suburban neighborhood? Or is he a big purple dinosaur that hangs out at schools?"

Chuck rolled his eyes and suddenly began to dissolve. The process did not complete itself, however, and the rodent soon became an oozing pile of green ectoplasm. Solid red and angry eyes stared at him and the grin that had been filled with two buck teeth now displayed rows of razor sharp fangs.

"And now I'm guessing he's at least five times as ugly as you, mister-"

"Bertrand, you insolent vermin. My name is Bertrand."

Phantom looked at his adversary for only a moment before bursting out in hysterical laughter. "Oh God, dude, you can't be serious!" Phantom was nearly convulsing against his restraints from the laughter. "How do you expect anyone to take you seriously with a name like that?"

Bertrand growled at Phantom and flew over to him, grabbing the ghost boy by the neck. "Not many live long enough to have to take me seriously."

"Why's that?" Phantom said while catching his breath. "They laugh themselves to death after the introductions are out of the way?"

The green mass grinned and hovered backwards. "Not exactly." The ghost quickly manipulated its body, expanding and contracting in all the necessary places until he stared at his adolescent opponent through the eyes of Barney the dinosaur.

"You could seriously open up a business and do kids parties. You'd be a worldwide sensation. Oh, hey! Can you do one of those telletubbies?"

The purple and green dinosaur's face contorted into recognizable anger before twisting into something completely different. His entire body began to shudder and bubble. Bertrand soon became a swirling mass of green ectoplasm that grew large with each passing second. Suddenly, a rather large reptilian foot stepped out of the vortex and connected with the ground. Then another. A rather large tail emerged from the hind end and curved around to point its rather large spiked tip at the youthful specter. A rather large ridged snout became visible as the spinning tornado of energy began to cease. Finally, the full body of the saurian attained visibility.

Phantom gaped at the creature before him. It wasn't rather large at all. It was massive.

"I love you!" Bertrand sang the familiar tune as he ripped Phantom from his binding and tossed him into a wall. "You love me!" The deadly spikes at the end of the ghost's tail slashed at Phantom's abdomen, drawing ectoplasmic blood. "We're best friends like friends should be!" Bertrand grabbed Phantom by the arm and swung him through the air, smashing him into various machines and lighting fixtures. "With a great big hug," Bertrand brought Phantom close to him and squeezed him against his scaly chest. The dinosaur grinned as he heard Phantom's back snap. "And a – you know what? Let's skip that part," Bertrand mumbled as he tossed the battered, beaten and possibly dead ghost into his maw. "Won't you say you love me t-"

Green smoke began to pour from Bertrand's adopted nostrils. He looked around in puzzlement as to why he would be expelling the smoke from his snout before the realization that his mouth was on fire hit him.

Of course, it didn't hit him nearly as hard as the explosion that blew open the uppermost part of Bertrand's snout. Blood and hunks of morphed flesh flew in all directions, painting the Chuck E. Cheese's' interior a sickly green color.

"You know something?" Phantom said as his hands glowed an ethereal green. "My parents always thought Barney was a ghost and never let me watch the show growing up. I guess I should thank them."

Bertrand was in the process of reassembling his snout when a powerful beam of energy, crackling with electricity, hit him squarely between the eyes. The reptile bellowed in agony as the blast tore into his skull and sent him careening into, and out through, a wall. The large purple beast smacked into the road outside, causing all traffic to screech to a halt. Pedestrians only took a moment to assess the situation before running off in panic.

Phantom flew out of the building, pausing only a moment as he allowed his spine to fully heal. The ghost then spotted Bertrand, only instead of on the ground, he was in the air. And instead of a giant, evil Barney-esque monstrosity, a lethal looking bird was flying around in circles. The strangely familiar coloration of Bertrand's newest manifestation didn't settle right with Phantom for the simple reason that he could not conjure up where he had seen the big bird's color scheme before.

Wait. Big . . . Bird? Big Bird! Phantom slapped his head.

The bird that now plummeted from the air bore only a faint semblance to the PBS character. The ends of the feet sported sharp talons, and the beak was lined with biologically inaccurate teeth. Sadly, that didn't make it any less threatening.

Phantom pumped both his fists forward and let out a stream of energy. To his delight, the green rays looked more like electricity than standard ectoplasm. The force of the continuous assault propelled Phantom to the ground and he steadied himself with his feet. Bertrand was traveling too fast to dodge was quickly engulfed in a sea of pain.

"You're a master of kids stuff, Bertrand; you should know that flying type poke'mon are weak against electricity!"

The massive, ghostly incarnation of Big Bird fell from the sky and impacted the street for a second time, creating a cloud of dust in his wake. Before Phantom could move in for the kill, a massive, armored appendage shot out from the dust and stabbed into Phantom's left shoulder with its stinger. He cried out in pain as Bertrand emerged from the crater he made as a hulking scorpion. The ghost's pincers snapped menacingly as the ghost was drawn in closer.

"Game over, you little brat!"

"I don't think so,"

Phantom closed his eyes tightly and built up as much energy as possible within his body. Leaving it with no place else to go, Phantom's eyelids opened and released the torrent of energy from his pupils. The twin beams lanced through Bertrand's arachnid head and the concussive force of the attack sent him sprawling back into a nearby building.

Seeing that the shape shifting specter had been adequately exhausted, Phantom smiled in relief as he reached for his thermos – only to find that it wasn't there.

"Dang it! Of all times to not have a thermos! I wish I hadn't forgotten it for the umpteenth time this-"

"Your hearts desire is my command," chimed the unnervingly familiar, mysterious, echoing voice.

Phantom looked around for the source of the voice, but suddenly stopped as he felt a weight unexpectedly tug at his belt. Phantom reached around and gasped as he felt the familiar metal that composed one of his father's most useful inventions. The ghost boy unclipped the Fenton Thermos and aimed it at Bertrand's still recovering body. The beam of light shot out of the opening in the thermos, hungrily advancing towards its target. The silver light slammed into Bertrand and began to break down his molecular structure in order to fit him inside the device. The ghost was too weak to even threaten his own return as the silver energy pulled him inside the container.

"Well, that was weird. Looks like I have a guardian genie . . . ghost . . . thing watching my back. Now to check on those adults."

Phantom flew over to the nearly-destroyed Chuck E. Cheese's building. He grinned as the parents rushed over to their terrified children who had sought refuge behind the ticket booth during the confrontation. He was about to leave when the unmistakable sound of the Fenton Family Assault Vehicle rumbling down the road greeted his ears. He turned around in time to witness the RV bustle its way through the abandoned vehicles, destroying as few of them as possible. Jack and Maddie then expertly leapt from the modified moon roof on the top of the RV and landed with equal skill on the ground. Both of them looked around, scanning the area for the ghostly offender that had alerted their sensors.

"Uh, hey there," Phantom said apprehensively.

Even in the days following his return, Danny's parents had taken a decidedly hostile stance towards Phantom. And since he was Phantom at the moment, he wasn't sure just how hostile they had become.

"You!" Jack said aghast. "What are you doing here?"

Maddie looked around at the carnage that surrounded the area. "Did you do all of this?" Her rifle never left from its aimed position on Phantom's head.

"Uh, n-no! No, I didn't do this! But I caught the ghost that did," Phantom tossed Jack the thermos containing the defeated Bertrand. "Be careful with that one, he's a shape-shifter."

"Don't tell us how to do our job, spook," Jack said through gritted teeth.

Phantom sighed. "Look, I know you two are probably mad at me for being remotely involved in what happened to Danny, but you can rest assured now that I no longer permit him or the other two to accompany me on patrols."

"Well that's awfully sweet of you, but so long as you continue to associate with our boy you put him and everyone he knows in danger," Maddie said in a relatively neutral voice. "We understand that you are a vital point in keeping this town safe from other ghosts, but if you get Danny hurt again, we won't hesitate to reduce you to a puddle of green slime."

"That goes double for me," Jack growled.

Phantom rolled his eyes and flew away. He was convinced, now more than ever, that his parents would never accept him for what he really was. He would have to work even harder to gain their trust as Phantom before he could reveal to them that he was actually their son.

To Be Continued

A/N

Not really a cliffhanger, unless you consider everything I left unanswered . . . purposely, mind you. And don't worry, Bertrand's got som 'splainin to do, and do it he shall.

Now, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THIS CONSPIRACY? It continues to conspire against me and, when they think I've gone into withdrawal and I come back, they don't even update. Only when I update do the swarms come in. Am I being self-centered, egotistical, and a bit megalomaniacial? You bet I am. But not without probable cause.

Only 18 more reviews until the contestant winner of the contest I created wins the contest uncontested! The announcement won't be made until the update that comes after the 700th review (for example, if the 700th review is for this chapter, I'll address it in the next one) and the winner will be notified via PM one I figure out who it is. You know if everyone reviewed this chapter en masse then the wait will be over! But I know you all. This chapter will get 12 the one after will get 7, and then nobody will review it ever again. Which is why I've decided to remove this story from Fanfiction altogether.

Thanks all of you for sticking with me through all this. Keep your eyes peeled for my next Danny Phantom story, where I magically get sucked into Danny's world, get ghost powers, fall in love with Sam, get adopted by Vlad, steal Tucker's friendship and Jack, Jazz and Maddie's family love, save the world, defeat my evil future self and Danny's evil future self, beat the Ghost King again, hire the Fright Knight as my man servant, shoot rainbow beams from my face and eventually take over Danny's life altogether, JUST LIEK IT SHUD BE MMMKAYZORZ????

lol, just kidding

Thanks to everyone who reviewed so far, especially MissMeliss4251, darkbunny92, Skye-chan, slyfoxx, Last Samurai Ryu-san, Warrior of winds, TDG3RD, Thunderstorm101, Fulcon, Writin' Dude and artbug.

YOUR TONGUES CAN'T REPEL FLAVOR OF THAT MAGNITUDE!