The Reluctance

August snuck up on them without her really noticing. Ron had been rather distant since their trip to Shell Cottage. They'd met up once at Grimmauld once Harry and Ginny were back from their trip. She'd followed him upstairs out of a sense of duty but declined the offer to spend the night, claiming to want an early start at work the next day.

She started making regular trips to Hogwarts again, to work with Severus on the potions. Millicent finished her final parts of the Apprenticeship in the beginning of August, giving her a week off before she needed to return to start lesson planning. They'd gained approval to start with Severus' new books for years 1-3, and the Ministry was actually overseeing the contents of OWL and NEWT exams.

"I'm proud of you, Severus," Hermione had told him over breakfast when the owl came bearing the news. Outwardly he remained impassive but she had started to learn his tells, and could see he was actually rather excited about it.

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Hrm, that remains to be seen. Perhaps this new curriculum will be a disaster leading to innumerable broken cauldrons, brats, and classrooms."

"Perhaps," she had agreed, before padding around the table to hug him from behind and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He relaxed against her, one of his hands clasping hers.

They had reviewed his scar healing salve notes, and a half misremembered comment by someone in Hermione's research group about an article led to a bit of a breakthrough. After more experimentation, the addition of mongoose saliva to the potion led to a final neutralisation of the lingering venom from Nagini and the inflammation could finally heal. The salve then make short work of the remaining welts and bumps, leaving him with some silvery marks.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Two weeks before term was about to start at Hogwarts, Harry and Ginny invited her over again to Grimmauld. Apparently Ron was busy with the twins, since he had decided to leave the Aurors and start working for his brothers at WWW. Hermione had been surprised when she heard it since he hadn't discussed it with her before going ahead with it, but then again, she hadn't seen him much. Ginny greeted her in the hallway and started chatting about all the things she'd bought for the household during their travels while they went to join the others in the drawing room. Kreacher had made pizza, and Harry and Neville were already seated. Hermione hugged both of them and settled on the couch next to Neville with a slice of pizza and a beer.

Neville had been busy all summer, travelling to various odd places to look for magical plants with Professor Sprout as part of his Apprenticeship. Hermione had secretly been relieved when she noticed his absence, as her numerous Hogwarts trips would have been more difficult to explain away to someone she knew well.

A while later, after more beer and pizza with more or less innovative toppings, Neville was fidgeting with his drink.

He took a deep breath. "I'm … there's someone I'm really interested in. I… just… don't laugh, okay? I'm not sure I can tell you or even if I should give it a try or not."

Harry pulled Ginny down in his lap. Hermione had to suppress a pang of jealousy over the simple action. Would she ever be able to do that?

"We promise not to laugh, why would we laugh at you for falling for someone?" Harry said, frowning. Ginny nodded in agreement.

Suddenly Neville seemed to grow in stature, becoming more like the one he'd been when he lopped off Nagini's head than the scared boy in Potions class. He looked directly at Harry. "Because I know what you think of people like her, and because she's not what you would call a catch."

Hermione began to feel as if she might know who it was. She couldn't quite hide her smile.

"Not a catch? Neville, as long as she's good for you I wouldn't care and it's not my business anyway," Harry protested.

"It's Millicent," Neville half whispered. "I'm just… I'm just afraid she'll turn me down." He looked down on the floor, shrinking in on himself again.

"Millicent? As in, Bulstrode? That Millicent? The Slytherin?" Harry asked, confused. He was obviously trying to control his reaction but luckily Neville didn't seem to notice. "Oh… alright, how come you've met?"

Neville looked up again. "She's at Hogwarts, didn't you know? I thought Hermione had told you, Millie said you'd met there."

Hermione nodded. She'd rather come to like her former yearmate after spending time in the labs together so often. Millicent didn't chatter unnecessarily, worked hard and seemed to enjoy teaching.

"When were you at Hogwarts?" Harry immediately wanted to know, turning towards Hermione.

"I've asked Professor Snape for some Potions advice related to my project, if you must know. Yes, I ran into her there. She seems to be doing alright? She started teaching now, didn't she?"

Neville lit up in a smile. "Yes, she's taking over teaching this year with some assistance from Professor Snape but she did really well when teaching some classes last year, all the kids like her and even Snape has commented that she hasn't sent too many kids yet to the hospital wing."

Even Harry smiled at that. "That must be Snape speak for she's pretty good. Not too many accidents in the classroom? Look, Nev, if she's the one who makes you happy then of course I'm happy for you. It was just a bit of a surprise."

Neville smiled then, obviously relieved. "Thanks, Harry. I haven't asked her out yet but was planning to for next weekend."

"Go for it!" Ginny commented, smiling. "Keep us updated!"

~o~o~o~o~o~

Luna came by unexpectedly a Sunday afternoon in September. They settled at the kitchen table with two large cups of tea and a pile of scones that she had brought along with some clotted cream and her homemade blackberry jam.

"Look, Hermione. You know what you have to do. You have to choose, and your heart has already chosen. If you don't act, if you continue like this, you will get hurt, and you will hurt both of them badly. Is that really what you want? I know it isn't."

"But… he still doesn't want a relationship," Hermione protested.

Luna sighed. "That doesn't matter. It's your choice to make, Hermione. You have to be brave and do it. The rest will follow, if it was meant to be."

"I'm afraid of losing everyone." She spoke quietly, looking down at her plate.

Luna was silent, watching her. Finally she spoke. "Being brave is doing something you are afraid of, because you know it is the right thing to do. If you're not afraid, it's not bravery. And if you choose to hide instead, you lose something of yourself."

Hermione had no reply to that. Yes, she knew what she had to do, it had been clear right from the start. But how could she? Hiding from the decision was easier, pretending that everything was fine even when she knew that wasn't true.

~o~o~o~o~o~

September came and went without much to show for it, and soon October was upon them with cooler temperatures, shorter days and the vibrant colours of autumn leaves. She had spent a few evenings at Grimmauld, but Ron was also a bit distracted although he did ask her to come to his bed when she was there.

Hermione was certain she was missing something obvious in her work project, but not even Severus had been able to figure out how to get it to work. She had landed on an improved potions formula which should work for some cases of memory loss, but not for the one she was designing it for. Frowning she knocked on Healer Trout's door.

"I've reviewed my latest calculations, but there must be an error somewhere that I haven't found? Look here, the emotion delta matrix doesn't resolve in the octagonal Riemann space with these imaginary Bessel parameters and this is the best potion I've managed to make."

He looked up from what appeared to be budget calculations and quickly shoved them aside so that she could put her notes down instead. "I see," he muttered. "I have to check a couple of the personality vectors, would you give me an hour or so?"

She nodded and left him to it, and returned to the lab to continue brewing her latest potions trial.

Healer Trout returned just before lunch, with her notes. He was frowning. "I'm sorry, Hermione. It simply doesn't seem possible, what you set out to do. On the other hand, your ideas hold promise for other patients on the Janus Thickey ward. I would like to arrange for a trial with at least one of them, to see if we can bring about any improvement. Maybe Gilderoy Lockhart would be a good candidate. I will check with Miriam and inform the research board so that they can review the details."

"Yes, Healer Trout," she said hollowly.

"How many times must I tell you, it's Desmond, dear? I understand you're disappointed, but this way we'll get the trials done so that you can get the papers in print before summer and defend your thesis on time. Take the rest of the day off, you need a change of scenery from this dull lab."

She would not cry at work. Disappointment was a bitter taste in her mouth, but she would not cry at work. Not trusting her voice, she nodded at Healer Trout and started cleaning up her work area. Luckily Lucy was out, so no one saw her when she fled her office, and Crookshanks was up for some cuddling when she finally made it back to her flat.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Harry sent a memo a few days later asking if she was free to meet up for lunch. He took her to a small restaurant just a short distance from the Leaky Cauldron, on the Muggle side. Apparently he had found it by accident and liked the fact that no one would recognise him there, leaving him to eat in peace. Still, he cast a discreet Muffliato when the waitress had delivered their food. They talked a bit about the Aurors and Harry's new promotion to a role with a bit more responsibility, and about the trip he had taken with Ginny that summer. Apparently he had really enjoyed Crete, but found Paris too hot during summer. Ginny had dragged him to all the shops, however, so he had spent most of the time sitting on a bench inside some fancy store or other while she was busy trying everything on. Granada had been more to his taste with the historical presence of the old fortress Alhambra and the vibrant night club scene where they'd apparently danced well into the morning.

Finally he looked at her properly, frowning. "You're so distant nowadays, Hermione. How are you, really?"

She tried to smile but it didn't work. "I won't make it, Harry."

"Make what? Your Apprenticeship? Don't worry about that, of course you'll pass."

She shook her head. "No, I won't find a way to cure my parents, it's not working! I won't ever get them back! It's as if everyone is conveniently forgetting why I'm doing this?"

He cast a Notice-me-not charm and pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I hope you can get them back. If anyone can, it will be you. Look, I don't know a thing about what you're actually doing, but you know I'm with you, right? If you need someone to, I don't know, hit something with a hammer or hold your hand while you do something difficult or just anything, I'll help. Alright? You'll always be my sister."

"Thanks, Harry," she whispered, letting the tears fall.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Hermione was not in a good mood despite it being Friday evening. Crookshanks had chased Iris around half the flat for some reason, toppling candles, books and overturning his food bowl. The bird seated herself on top of her kitchen lamp, causing it to sway precariously, and hooted at Hermione reproachfully. Her back and lower stomach hurt too which made her even grumpier as her period had come early. She was busy cleaning up spilled cat kibble when her fireplace flared to life with green flames, startling her. Was she expecting someone?

"What?" she snapped.

Severus Snape unfolded himself on her area rug and cleaned off the soot wandlessly. He stepped closer and frowned. "Should I leave? You did invite me."

Oh. She had, actually. They hadn't met for a few weeks but the upcoming weekend was free for both of them. How could she have forgotten?

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Severus. I'm just… nothing is working and I miss my parents and I won't get them back and my period came early and now you're here and I'm stressed out and everything hurts and now the weekend is ruined because of my stupid period and I don't know what to do."

"Witch, slow down," he said. He came closer still and wrapped his arms around her. Slowly she relaxed against his wiry frame, feeling the warmth of his embrace seep in through her cardigan. She could sense his heartbeat, strong and steady, and snuggled up closer, resting her cheek on his pectoral muscle and wrapping her own arms around his waist. Sanctuary. For once she felt as if she didn't have to solve all the world's problems herself, that there might be someone else on her team.

"First things first," he said after an indeterminate amount of time. His baritone voice rumbled against her cheek. "I presume you haven't eaten properly all day. What do you want for dinner?"

She pulled back slightly to look up at him. He always seemed so tall up close. "I don't know, do you mind Indian?"

His eyebrow rose slightly. "Indian? That would be acceptable. Is there a place nearby?"

She nodded and disentangled herself in order to walk over to the fridge where her favourite restaurant's menu was pinned with a magnet. Without hesitation he took the phone and the menu, and placed an order after asking what she preferred. It astonished her to see a wizard managing something as Muggle as a phone, but then she remembered he was actually a half-blood. The Half-Blood Prince… she'd almost forgotten about that.

"Where do you keep your household potions?" he asked after he'd finished the call.

"Bathroom cupboard, why?"

He disappeared into her bathroom. Disgruntled grumbling could be heard but she couldn't make out the words.

"Into the shower with you," he ordered briskly. "I'll pick up the food in about twenty minutes and before then I want you showered and dressed in something comfortable. I'll need to fetch a few things from Hogwarts and will return shortly."

She glared at his already retreating back — who was he to order her around? — but since that didn't have any effect it was easier to just go along with what he had told her to do. Before long there was a knock on her bathroom door, and he entered to deposit several vials of various potions in her cupboard.

"You know better than to use that swill you buy at the apothecaries, Granger," he grumbled while he pulled out old vials, discarding most of them. "Although obviously the ones from Septimius Solutions are of acceptable quality, you know you don't have to go buy them at the stores. Here." He handed her a vial and she swallowed it all down when she saw it was one of his anti-inflammatory painkillers.

Shortly thereafter they walked down together to the Indian restaurant since he hadn't been there before. She felt a lot better already after a hot shower and his painkiller potion, and being able to walk by his side, her hand tucked securely into the crook of his arm. Despite his longer legs they automatically fell into step with each other as they walked.

He didn't let her pay, again surprising her by pulling out a Muggle bank card to pay for their meal. After some nagging she was permitted to carry the rice and naan, and soon they were back in her flat. They settled on her couch to eat in front of the TV where Time Team was on again, and so they spent their meal squabbling over Roman artefacts and the state of someone's back garden which the archaeologists had demolished. It felt oddly domestic, in a completely unexpected way.

"Thank you, Severus." She kissed him. "Will you stay tonight?"

"If you so wish," he murmured against her hair.

Hermione nodded in confirmation and went to get ready for the night, while he cleaned up the living room and kitchen.

She fell asleep in his arms, one of his large hands splayed over her lower abdomen. She hadn't felt as safe in a long time. Cherished, even. That evening hadn't been about lust and sex at all, only caring and comfort, and apparently that was just what she'd been missing.

The next morning she quickly padded off to the bathroom but decided to return to bed afterwards, snuggling into his warmth. He murmured something indistinctly and pulled her close, one arm under her neck and the other slung over her waist. She drifted off back to sleep again, content.

His erection poked her arse when she next woke up. She couldn't help rubbing against it, enjoying the feel of its hard insistence against her.

"Witch, desist your wiggling unless you have plans to take it further," came a sleepy grumble from behind her.

"Severus…" She tried to reach for his face but the angle was tricky. "What if I might? But I'm still on my period."

His hand crept up to cup her breast, causing heat to pool in her lower stomach. How could his slightest touch turn her on that quickly? Her musings were cut short when he started tweaking her nipple.

"I don't mind," he said, his voice husky.

"What, are you sure?" she said disbelievingly.

He raised an eyebrow. "It only matters what you think, if you actually want to. Come now, do you actually think a little blood would concern me? Between my profession and… my other experiences?"

"Oh. Of course." That did make sense. She twisted around to kiss him which coincidentally gave him much better access to her breasts and neck. "In that case, I do want you, Severus."

He hooked her leg over his thigh for better access. His free hand snaked around her waist down to her folds, wiggling a finger inside her before he sought her clit. He entered her slowly, causing both of them to groan. The slow pace felt liberating, somewhere between relaxing and exciting, but soon the steady rhythm and his fingers on her clit sent her soaring higher. She brought her hand up to his cheek which apparently caused her breast to come closer to his mouth. Somehow he managed to shift so that he could suck her nipple into his mouth.

"Oh!"

It didn't take her long to come. It wasn't as strong as she sometimes managed with him but still left her in a state of boneless bliss. She pulled his head over for a kiss, needing the connection. He nudged her over to lie on her stomach, still with his dick in her, and started chasing his own orgasm. She lifted her hips to meet him, the angle almost painful with his deep thrusts but she welcomed it. Shortly thereafter he groaned and collapsed on top of her.

A Tergeo sorted out the mess, and after a shower and another dose of the pain potion she felt better than in a long time. Feeling more energised, she pulled him out of bed and ordered him to shower as well while she got dressed and fed her animals.

"Witch, you are way too cheerful," he grumbled as she ordered him to get dressed.

"It's all your fault, Severus Snape. Now you'll just have to suffer through. Come on, I know just the place."

The early November air was damp and chilly. Luckily the cafe she had in mind wasn't far, and soon they were settled with a large pot of tea and breakfast in a corner, discussing the latest news from the Muggle world and the latest research articles they'd read. After their late breakfast Severus Apparated them to Canterbury of all places, where they spent the rest of the day strolling through the streets, looking at the old Roman remains and, on Hermione's insistence, checking out the local shops. They had dinner at a small restaurant there before Apparating back to Hermione's flat, where he again stayed with her overnight.

All in all, it turned out to be a rather decent weekend, until she brought up something that had been weighing on her mind lately when they were having breakfast the next day.

"Severus?"

"Hmm?"

He was reading the Daily Prophet while Hermione had just finished toasting a few slices of bread.

"What are you planning for Christmas?

Hermione had very carefully avoided discussing anything like the future, what they should call their relationship, Weasleys, Harry Potter or anything else that came close. Still, being in that sort of limbo was starting to chafe a bit. She suspected the ball was in her court, to make a choice one way or the other, but she was afraid to lose what she had with Severus and also with her friends.

He grunted and looked at her over the top of the newspaper. "Same as every year, I suspect. Nothing much, in other words."

She cleared her throat. "I'm invited to the Burrow again."

"I see."

She could almost see him withdrawing from her, shutting her off along with his emotions.

"Severus…"

"What?"

"I'd much rather be with you…"

He shook his head. "Let's not continue that line of discussion for now. You know my stance and yours is evident."

She bowed her head to hide her confusion. It was true, she would much rather stay with him. But then what would she tell her friends? She was expected to visit the Burrow, with Harry and Ginny… and Ron. Severus had been clear that he wasn't seeking a relationship, and she was still not ready to give up all the Weasleys.

After a rather tense morning, he took his leave early. At the door he turned towards her, reaching a hand for her face. His thumb stroked her cheek.

"Witch, you are always on my mind," he murmured and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She flung her arms around his waist and reached for a kiss, wanting to show him what he meant to her even if she couldn't say it, could hardly admit it even to herself.

~o~o~o~o~o~

The rest of November and December were mainly lost in a haze of article writing, much like the year prior. At least Severus was there to keep her sane. They'd managed to meet up regularly during autumn. Hermione didn't go to Hogwarts when term was in session but since Millicent had taken over most of the teaching already, Severus had more time over the weekends to come see her. He had a designated toothbrush in the bathroom cupboard and a towel on a hanger.

The Lockhart trial had been, in some ways, a complete success. He had regained his memory and would be able to leave the ward after another few months' worth of rehabilitation. Hermione still felt slightly guilty over it, though. As an amnesiac, Gilderoy Lockhart had seemed completely happy with his life. He signed scraps of papers that the staff brought him, thought everything was excellent and could have the same conversation with the same person for as long as it took for the other participant to excuse themselves and run away to hide.

And now, after the potion had been administered according to the treatment protocol Hermione had calculated, he had not only gained his memories back but also, somehow, a conscience. He knew what he'd done to further his career, and the sheer weight of his newfound conscience made him quite depressed. Healer Miriam Strout who was responsible for his care wasn't concerned, however, and dismissed Hermione's concerns.

"Hermione, his previous actions are not on you," she'd said firmly. "He needs to come to terms with this, and then hopefully do something good with the knowledge. Who knows, maybe he'll actually apologise? Launch a new career? It's his life, not yours."

"But still… It's my fault that he's unhappy now. It's not as if he could consent to the treatment."

Healer Strout crossed her arms. "You're not thinking straight. This way, he can live out the next hundred years of his life atoning for his choices, or launching something new. Without you, he had nothing, he was nothing. Besides, he should feel bad about what he did in that earlier life. No, dear, stop worrying right now. You did very well."

Hermione smiled and managed to almost mean it. "If you say so."

~o~o~o~o~o~

Christmas arrived in a flurry of last-minute activities, as usual. Hermione Apparated to the Burrow and trudged up to the door from the gate. It seemed most of the others had already arrived. Fred and George caught her in their usual dual greeting as soon as she entered.

"Do you remember the charms we discussed last spring?" George asked.

She had to think for a moment, last spring? Yes… oh that's right, their rather innovative pleasure line and the privacy charms.

"They were excellent, our profits are through the roof," Fred said.

"Thanks to you!"

Hermione tried to protest, but as usual there was no point with the twins.

Fred continued. "We've patented the combination with you as a contributor, and someone who actually reads that horribly boring patent notification paper invited us to speak at that conference next year. The one you were at? SNORT?"

She sighed and mock glared at both of them. "It's HICCUP, Fred."

"Sorry to hear that, Hermione. You need a glass of water?" George pulled a glass out of his ear with a flourish, like the old-school Muggle magicians, and filled it with water using Aguamenti.

The Christmas dinner was nice, as usual. The food was excellent, the Weasleys kept the spirits high, Harry was happy, and she managed to avoid Mrs Weasley by choosing to sit near Bill and Fleur. They relocated to the living room to hand out presents and soon chaos and wrapping paper held everyone's attention. Harry and Ginny had bought presents for everyone during their summer trip and so Hermione got a Greek brooch against Dark Magic and a book from Spain on old Moorish spells. Bill and Fleur got her a book, and Ron gave her a surprisingly decent necklace.

As expected, she did get a few passive aggressive gifts from Mrs Weasley, a charmed laundry hamper which told you in great detail how dirty your clothes were and precisely how long it had been since you last did laundry, and a book titled The Essential House-witch with household charms and loads of helpful advice for how to run a household and satisfy a husband.

The twins gave her a black box, and their twin smirks made her suspect what it contained. Still, it appeared as if they'd managed to take their privacy charms a step further as the others appeared to see only a pile of books and quickly lost interest. A quick peek later confirmed that they'd sent her a Daydream Charm and a vibrating egg-shaped device that had her blush deeply once she figured it out.

After gifts were sorted everyone settled down, drinking mulled cider, Firewhisky or something else, eating pralines and comparing presents. Hermione was sitting with Ron on the couch, his arm slung over her shoulders. After a while she excused herself, claiming to need the bathroom but then also fetching her coat to go out the kitchen door again. She sat on the stairs, trying to breathe. The air was chilly, the sky overcast so no stars could be seen.

Fleur joined her outside some time later, bundled up in a beautiful lavender fur coat.

"Too much noise?" the older witch asked sympathetically. "I think so too sometimes, compared to the 'olidays I was used to in France."

"Yes, how is your family?"

Fleur smiled, a bit sadly if Hermione was any judge. "Gabrielle is in Paris now. She wants to do an Apprenticeship in Charms, I think. Maman and Papa are busy tending to my Grand-Mère on Papa's side."

"I miss my family," Hermione confessed. "My holidays growing up were much more like yours, I was an only child and my parents didn't have many relatives either. The Weasleys… don't get me wrong, they're lovely but there are just so many of them."

Fleur laughed but then Victoire called for her from inside. "I know what you mean. I 'ave to go back in, but remember, 'Ermione, you 'ave to choose what the 'eart tells you to. Otherwise everyone will be un'appy in the end."

That sounded a bit too much like what Luna was telling her.

She stayed out a while longer. Her breath misted in the chilly air but at least it was quiet.

An owl came soaring in on silent wings. A rather large on, which as it came closer she recognised as Muninn. She quickly rose to meet him a bit further from the kitchen entrance, in the shadow of an old apple tree. The bird lit down on a fencepost and held out a leg with a small parcel tied to it.

"Thank you," she whispered to the bird. "I've already sent Iris to him, I hope she arrived properly. I'm sorry I don't have any treats for you, I didn't expect you here."

Muninn hooted as if in reassurance. She watched him fly back North before she opened the small parcel. It contained a set of golden earrings, with diamonds and emeralds set in a teardrop style. They weren't too ostentatious, and she could easily see herself wearing them with the green robes she'd had at the Prague conference dinner. She could feel the whisper of an enchantment on them even as she held them in her hand, some kind of protection probably.

Later, the house quieted down. Bill and Fleur left rather early with Victoire, to Mrs Weasley's mutterings about keeping her grandchild away from her. Percy and Audrey chose to leave at the same time, and Harry and Ginny left late in the evening, preferring their own bed to Ginny's old twin bed. The Twins stayed overnight, however, saying they didn't want to bother with cooking the next day, and Hermione was secretly grateful for having them as a buffer between her and the other Weasleys.

She gave in to Ron that night, after heavily Warding his room, but chose to sleep in Ginny's old bedroom.

~o~o~o~o~o~

To her chagrin she realised there was no way she could avoid celebrating New Years at Grimmauld Place. Ginny and Harry had invited almost everyone they knew, and the house was full to bursting with people. Loud music was playing on almost every floor, Harry had stocked up on beer, wine, cider, Firewhisky, Muggle liquor and some things she didn't recognise, and Ginny and Kreacher had prepared lots of finger food on trays scattered around the house.

She felt out of place. Not in the mood to party with the others, too sober, too alone even in a crowd. Ron was in the kitchen last she saw him, laughing with Lavender, the twins and Parvati. Harry and Ginny were making out in a corner. She wandered the house like a ghost, evading friends and acquaintances when they tried to get her to join them.

Suddenly she just couldn't stand it any longer. Panic set in at the sight of people everywhere. It was just fifteen minutes to midnight, and she couldn't bear the thought to be at Grimmauld to celebrate the new year when she wanted to be somewhere else, with someone else. She quickly grabbed her coat and slipped out into the chilly night.

As soon as she made it out of the house she sent off a Patronus, only afterwards realising that she should have checked for Muggles. Luckily no one was nearby, and so she quickly Apparated away.

She waited by the gates to Hogwarts, feeling slightly foolish. A Tempus showed that it was ten to midnight, and the Scottish night was frosty and unusually clear. What if he didn't come?

A sharp crack broke the stillness. He appeared only a little distance from her. She had thought he was at Hogwarts, but here he was clad in fine dress robes, a champagne flute still in hand.

"Hermione." He raised an eyebrow at her. "You called me in such a hurry, I thought something had happened."

She bit her lip, suddenly terribly unsure. "Severus… I'm sorry, I just… I missed you."

Finally his stance softened. He took the remaining few steps to her and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Witch, I'd always come to you if you but ask."

Relief surged through her and she pulled his head down for a kiss, claiming his mouth as if she could devour him. He tasted of champagne and fancy food, and there was a faint whiff of women's perfume around him. Was he…?

"Where were you, Severus? I thought you were at Hogwarts?"

His eyebrow again. "No, witch. I was at Malfoy Manor for their annual New Year's Ball. A rather tedious event but at least the champagne is good." He raised the flute to her. "Here, try some."

She took a sip from his glass. It was truly excellent, much better than what Harry had bought for the Grimmauld party. Still, he tasted even better. She took another sip and pulled him down again for a kiss, sharing some of the champagne with him, the fizzy bubbles bursting on her tongue as she wound it around his.

A loud cheer emanated from Hogwarts, and fireworks could be seen over Hogsmeade. "Happy new year, Severus."

"And to you, Hermione. Happy new year." He rested his forehead against hers and pulled her even closer, tucking her under his robes.

She just stood there, close, breathing him in. Slowly her tension ebbed away, replaced by contentment. This, this was where she wanted to be. Well, perhaps not literally, out in the cold woods outside the gates to Hogwarts, but with him, anywhere he chose to go.

He heaved a sigh. "I must leave, Hermione, or they'll start wondering. I'd rather not they send out the hounds."

She kissed him again, lightly. "What about this weekend?"

A bit of light had returned to his eyes. "That works. What do you think of Chinese?"

"Perfect." She smiled at him, and he inclined his head towards her before spinning away in an Apparition.

Returning to the boisterous party was slightly easier, her heart lighter than before.

"Hermione! Where were you? Happy new year!" Ginny squealed and pressed another beer in her hand.

"Oh… I found a book and lost track of time," she improvised.

Ginny merely laughed and hugged her.