YAMI NO MATSUEI – DESCENDANTS OF DARKNESS
THE BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP…OR NOT?
Chapter Seven: Mondays with Konoe
There were only a few instances in Tatsumi's existence as a shinigami wherein he felt disjointed, most if not all of those instances having to do with someone close to his heart.
Everyone was wondering where the real Tatsumi Seiichiro had gone and who was the absentminded look-alike sitting behind the desk.
And why…?
Two weeks' worth of coherent train of thought about the Shokan Division, JuOhCho, and EnmaCho's respective budgets for the next fiscal year was now lost to Tatsumi. Since he came in this morning at his usual time, he fumbled through the work with a splitting headache now pounding so mercilessly by ten in the morning.
Before noon, the Gushoshin Twins' complaints about Tsuzuki whining for them to lift their self-imposed ban against him from their library fell in Tatsumi's deaf ears. The librarians were miffed as they flew out of his office muttering curses and threatening to quit, their tempers flaring up substantially as the secretary was just so "out of it" to even make any effort to appease them as he normally did.
Hisoka came in Tatsumi's office to review the reports reflecting the expenses that Tsuzuki and he had incurred over the past two month. The emerald-eyed shinigami ended up leaving the office four minutes later with reports in tow and no review process, closing the door behind him and wondering what in the world was wrong with his normally-astute superior. To make matters worse, he picked up the spiritual traces from the latter's cluttered brain and muddled mood…so now he also had a headache and was in a snippier mood than usual.
Around one in the afternoon, Terazuma and Wakaba walked in Tatsumi's office regarding their ongoing case and walked out of there more confused than they were before they came to seek guidance.
As to Tsuzuki, he sat across from Watari mostly all day – the two working together on a clue that he and Hisoka had gathered Friday last week. He was happy to sit with the blonde scientist so that he could give Hisoka and the latter's foul mood time to settle.
What made Tsuzuki happier was that Watari seemed to be in an uber-chipper mood as the latter had gone about his tasks with a giddy day-dreamy spring in his steps and ways. Sure, Watari seemed distracted to him but his friend exuded an aura of contentment and joy. He wondered what the reason for Watari's good mood was but for now, he would just settle basking in the lighthearted aura that his friend had been unknowingly sharing with him since he arrived in the laboratory.
Konoe had been observing the flow of people coming in and out of Tatsumi's office. He picked up the strange vibes from the bewildered staff. He heard Watari whistling a happy tune and talking animatedly to Tsuzuki at the laboratory.
Something was just off, and there was a moment wherein Konoe wondered whether Watari had spiked the water cooler and had been waiting for the results of his experiment. He looked at the paper cup in his hand which was now half-filled with water. He took a long, hard swallow about the fact that he already had his fill of water from the dispenser.
Even if Konoe pushed paranoia aside, Tatsumi was spaced out – or to be more accurate, too spaced out. He cringed upon the thought that Watari acted as if he was up to something impish. Then he was about to slap his forehead as he saw Hisoka continue work with a scowl on his face, with him knowing that the young shinigami was having a headache from picking up this aura of weirdness within the office. His head shook more as he saw the others' respectively baffled looks as they continued work.
Konoe had to get to the bottom of this anomaly.
"One mystery at a time," thought Konoe as he looked and smelled the remaining water in his up.
Konoe then figured that any efforts to analyze or understand anything going on today was completely moot.
After letting out a sigh and before downing the contents of his cup, Konoe said to himself, "Screw it. If I turn into a woman, I'll just suspend him for a week – but not until after he drinks all the water from the cooler."
Nothing happened and Konoe was relieved. His stare rested on Tatsumi's office.
Wanting to sate his curiosity, Konoe walked towards Tatsumi's office, knocked on the door, and came inside. He knew his secretary's temperament and could anticipate how the other would react about certain matters – most especially when it came to money and the budget.
Tatsumi stirred, looking up and nodding at Konoe along with the usual gestures which prompted the chief that he had his secretary's full attention.
Once Konoe saw Tatsumi place his red pencil down, he closed the door as he usually did whenever conferring with his secretary.
And so Konoe tested the waters and told Tatsumi in a casual fashion, "Do me a favor, Tatsumi-san. Draft a proposal for a budgetary addition. Please put a line item on this year's budget to increase my discretionary funds by an additional 200,000 yen…then increase the same line item by 300,000 yen for next fiscal year."
After blinking for a split second, Tatsumi replied, "Yes, Kacho… I'll do the proposal as soon as I finish going through these fiscal budget revisions from EnmaCho. What time do you have in mind to review the proposal?"
Konoe fell silent.
Konoe's eyes have been glued on Tatsumi since he came inside the office. Although he saw that the secretary was his usual self on the surface – busy at work, deep in thought, skipping lunch to finish work, mountains of neatly-piled paper around him, and multiple deadlines to meet – he knew that there was a distraction.
"Did you hear what I just said, Tatsumi-san?"
Tatsumi replied, blinking a bit more and wondering if he was missing something from Konoe's instructions, "Yes. You said…"
A long moment of silence passed between boss and secretary.
Minutes after Tatsumi's frown creased his forehead from wracking his brain to recollect everything that had been said to him, he admitted to Konoe in quiet and humble embarrassment, "I'm sorry, Kacho. It slipped from my mind."
"A kink in Tatsumi Seiichiro's polished and meticulous armor," said Konoe in an understanding tone. "I'm surprised that you didn't blow a gasket. I just told you to do a draft budget proposal to increase my discretionary funds by 200,000 yen this year and another 300,000 yen for next fiscal year. And you – so unlike you – immediately said 'yes' and asked me when we can sit down today to review your draft."
Tatsumi fell silent, more embarrassed than ever before. His headache throbbed more mercilessly, closing his eyes to ease the tension from the headache and to regain even a small sliver of composure before Konoe.
"Listen, Tatsumi-san. You've been at your desk since this morning. You haven't had lunch. Your presence of mind's not here." Konoe then paused for a minute, smiled, and then continued, "Why don't you just step away from your desk, go outside, and get some fresh air? You can even go home if you wish."
"But Kacho, there's –"
Raising an index finger as if to warn Tatsumi that this was a discussion that the secretary would not win, Konoe told him, "The work can wait. You're way ahead that even the most punctual one in terms of paperwork can't keep up with you. Clear your head and take a break. Take the rest of the day off, if you'd like."
"But –"
Konoe let out a subtle sigh, eyes focused on Tatsumi. "Three choices – afternoon tea outside whether it be alone or someone of your choosing until it's time to go home, take the rest of the day off now and come back refreshed tomorrow, or talk to me about what's bothering you now until you go home. Your choice."
Tatsumi sighed as well, taking off his glasses and pressing the bridge of his nose to ease the pressure of his headache. He replied without looking at Konoe, continuing the action in hopes of getting some relief no matter how temporary, "Talk a little, and then I'll go outside for tea alone. If this headache doesn't go away after the 20-or-so-minute tea break then I'll go home. I'm sorry, Kacho. It won't happen again."
Smiling genially and sitting down quietly across from where Tatsumi sat, Konoe asked, "I know that you have a headache, but are you all right? You've never been this distracted before."
"Just too many things to sort out in my life, Konoe-san…" said Tatsumi as he looked at Konoe after cleaning and putting his glasses back on, his fingers interlaced while he rested his chin on his now-clasped hands. He knew that for this conversation, his superior was taking the role of a father and mentor. "Too many surprises…things that make me realize that I don't know me as well as I thought I did."
While listening to Tatsumi, Konoe had his suspicions but chose to stay in generalities. He asked Tatsumi, "I don't think anyone knows himself well enough. Surprises aren't bad, either. Spontaneity allows you to explore those things that you don't know about you. There's the growth that comes with it, and there are also the risks involved. Question is…are you ready to face what you have before you?"
Tatsumi gave his superior and older friend a tightlipped smile. "I want to be ready. I'll do anything to be ready. I just don't know how."
"So you're happy about this…change…"
Tatsumi's tightlipped smile warmed up as he remembered Watari and what the two of them have shared thus far. "Yes, I'm very happy. I just don't want to make the same mistake that I did before. It happened before and I handled it poorly. I don't want to fall in the same pattern. I don't want to hurt someone in the process."
Konoe's empathetic gaze continued to rest on Tatsumi, with him thinking, "I see. So I guess my hunch is right. Who would've thought...?"
Feeling a pang of guilt and a tinge of stupidity for talking cryptically to the one patient enough to hear him fumble through his troubled thoughts, Tatsumi was temporarily shocked and eventually relieved when Konoe raised his hand to stop Tatsumi from opening his mouth and telling the younger man, "Why don't you let things be and enjoy that journey? Anything outside matters where you should let things be, settle them and get your peace of mind back."
"Kacho…." Tatsumi then fell silent once more, his eyes meeting the older man's gaze. His chest constricted one second and relaxed a few seconds later as the eyes that gazed back at time revealed that their owner had already figured out the source of his malady...or at least who specifically was in his mind since he came in for work.
Smiling more lightheartedly, Konoe interjected, "You think too much about everything, Tatsumi-kun. If it was the budget or accounting then yes, it's appropriate to think about it. In the same token, approach this opportunity of yours with the same passionate decisiveness as you do with your numbers."
Konoe then chuckled and then said, "You should pass by the laboratory. Just pass by and eavesdrop. Hear him talk a mile a minute to Tsuzuki while he's prancing about humming this song over and over again. It scares me that he's this happy. The last time that he was this happy, he managed to make staff swap bodies with each other. He's a devious imp hiding behind this giddy demeanor, but his heart's in the right place. Would it hurt you if you're that happy for a change?"
Tatsumi's eyes glistened with held-back tears as he chuckled. How could he forget My Fair Lady and how much Watari loved the movie?
"One day at a time, Tatsumi-kun. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to him…or anything for that matter."
Looking at the watch and noticing that it was nearly three in the afternoon, Konoe tapped the table gently as if he was reassuringly patting Tatsumi's back. "Why don't you get some fresh air? Let the work wait for tomorrow as a change of pace."
Rising from his seat and smiling at the older man, Tatsumi said, "Thank you, Kacho. Again, I'm sorry for being distracted today."
"You have nothing to apologize for. Now go on and take a break."
Once Konoe left to return to his office, Tatsumi went to the kitchen and prepared tea, pastries, utensils, and a linen napkin to place in the serving tray and bring outside.
Just then, Tatsumi heard that familiar humming…his burdened heart substantially lightening up and a warm smile escaping from his lips. He glanced sideways, seeing Watari and asking the other, "Join me for tea outside?"
Watari joined Tatsumi and stood beside him, momentarily resting his hand on the secretary's back…the gesture so subtle to their peers in case somebody saw them but spoke volumes for the two of them. "I have some analysis to finish for Tsuzuki-san and Bon. I can join you tomorrow, but I don't think that I could do it today."
Tatsumi nodded, his eyes meeting his lover's gaze. He smiled, his heart sensing the happiness that the other was feeling…those feelings vividly reflected in the other's honey-brown eyes. "I just need some air. Nothing's entering my brain since we came in this morning."
"Daydreaming?" asked Watari with a wry smirk.
"Yes…among other things," replied Tatsumi as he chuckled inwardly. "I also have a headache."
As his eyes expressed his concern, Watari said, "If you want, I'll just drop by tomorrow night…let you rest tonight…."
"No. My mind's focused and looking forward to tonight…and being with you." Tatsumi then touched the other's arm. "Don't worry about me, Yutaka. I'm fine…really… I just need to step away from my desk and get some fresh air."
"All right…. I'm sorry that I can't join you today for break. I'll make up for it tonight. I promise."
Tatsumi affectionately tapped Watari's arm. He then carried the tray and gave the other a meaningful gaze, deep down wishing that he could steal a kiss from the other right now but knowing better not to do so in the office. "I'm looking forward to it. I'll see you after work We'll walk home together...take the longer route just as we did last time."
Watari smiled and nodded. He let out a subtle yet deep sigh as he watched the secretary walk away towards the exit doors leading to the patio area outside where the breeze was refreshing, the sakura trees were in constant bloom, and the ambiance was relaxing.
Once outside, a still-preoccupied Tatsumi placed the tray down on one of the tables. He sat down and took in a deep cleansing breath, only to be startled when someone said to him from behind, "Glad that you managed to peel away from your desk for afternoon break…."
"Tsu-Tsuzuki-san…?"
Sitting up, his trench coat serving as his blanket, Tsuzuki asked, "Would you like some company?"
With a genial smile, Tatsumi replied, "Sure. I only have service for one, but there are enough pastries here for two. We could share this one teacup – that is if you don't mind sharing."
"I don't. You know that," was Tsuzuki's reply. He then rose from where he sat, taking his coat and dusting it off. He then wore his coat and joined Tatsumi at the table, thanking Tatsumi as he took a cookie from a small bowl that Tatsumi held out to him.
After a little while when the two ex-partners were able to enjoy the relaxing ambiance and each other's company, Tsuzuki asked the other, "Are you all right?"
"A headache… Just need fresh air and some food. Don't worry."
"I'm not."
Startled from the answer, Tatsumi blinked and blushed when Tsuzuki added, "Your eyes…. I could tell from them that you're more than fine."
Tatsumi then took the cup and drank from it, trying to hide the reddening of his cheek behind the teacup…or letting the tea be his excuse as to why his cheeks had a tinge of pink. He felt refreshed from the hot green tea. The rumbling of his stomach subsided a bit from the fresh pastry and the warm drink.
The secretary then offered the same cup to Tsuzuki, the latter taking the cup and drinking from it. The scene between the two was reminiscent of the days when the two were still partners and lovers, spending their time together as much as they could at work and at home.
Yes, Tsuzuki was dear to Tatsumi. In fact, the amethyst-eyed shinigami was still dear to his former partner even though Tatsumi ended their partnership in an awkward note and made their friendship uncomfortable for many years.
It was wrong to say that the mistake that Tatsumi was referring to was sitting across from him and sharing tea with him.
To the secretary, Tsuzuki was not the mistake. It was him and how cowardly he had been. How could he claim to have loved Tsuzuki and yet could not bear to be around when the other needed him most?
Tatsumi recalled Konoe's advice – when it came to Watari, let things be…and when it came to everything else, settle loose ends and regain that lost peace of mind.
And now here was Tsuzuki before him yet Tatsumi could not think of what to say in terms of what he had been wanting to tell the other since he broke off from their partnership and relationship.
Deeming that he was not yet ready to have that long-overdue talk with Tsuzuki about how he left things between them a long time ago, Tatsumi chose to let things be between Tsuzuki and him…the two drinking tea in comfortable silence.
From time to time, Tatsumi's gaze rested on Tsuzuki. In spite of the uncomfortable history between them, the two enjoyed a sense of intimate comfort with each other's company.
In between their chat about how their respective days have been progressing, Tatsumi thought, "When the time comes, I will tell you about Yutaka. I was too stupid to honestly appreciate you…us…in that light when it was our time. I do hope that I don't make the same mistake on Yutaka. I also hope that you could forgive me for not being able to give you what I could give him."
Knowing that the cup they shared was now empty, Tatsumi took the teapot and filled the cup before Tsuzuki once the cup was placed down on its saucer.
Another gesture that Tatsumi did so instinctively was that he reached in his suit pocket, took his handkerchief, and patted away the crumbs that he spotted around Tsuzuki's lips.
Tsuzuki gave Tatsumi a grateful and sheepish smile, a blush lightly veiling his cheeks as the two gazed at each other and exchanged grins.
Yes, there was affection between Tsuzuki and Tatsumi. The secretary knew that from the time Watari and he first kissed, the blonde scientist held a place in his heart that he would never know how to extend towards Tsuzuki.
Yes, Tatsumi was very clear about how much he cared about Watari and how special the other was to him. There was something between them that made him feel alive – no matter what they were doing.
Unfortunately, Watari saw the entire scene through a different perspective – from the time that he saw Tatsumi pouring tea in a shared cup and wiping Tsuzuki's face with a handkerchief. He was speechless and unable to approach the table.
Tatsumi and Tsuzuki continued talking, the two so much at ease with each other as teatime continued...the two of them not noticing from the corner of their eyes that someone was watching them.
Watari went back inside the Division as quietly as he had gone out, this time his mind repeatedly reminding him that Tsuzuki and Tatsumi had been partners in many ways before he arrived in Meifu. His mind's eye kept playing those scenes during afternoon tea, giving him doubts as to what was his place in Tatsumi's life if matters were still unresolved between his lover and his best friend.
End of Chapter Seven
Normal Disclaimer
I do not own Yami no Matsuei and its lovable characters. However, I do own this fic and Chief Satori and other original characters.