The Consequences

They took it easy the next morning with a simple breakfast which gradually got heated enough to move to the couch. To Hermione it felt as if they were trying to make up for lost time, but she was a very eager participant, mapping his skin with hands and lips just as he did to her. Everything still felt fragile, their newfound connection might be easily shattered with sharp words or a thoughtless action, but then again it had only been just over a day since they reconnected. There was also something else lingering in the back of her head related to his actions that spring, but she shut down that line of thought whenever it popped up, she wasn't ready to confront it.

Iris had flown in during the night and was found sharing Muninn's perch when she went to offer him some fruit. Hermione had already made plans to meet up with her parents, and Severus headed back to the lab. She sent her bird off to Harry, saying she'd come over the next day to talk. As that was a Saturday she expected both of them to be in, unless Harry had a special Auror assignment.

Much later, an exhausted Hermione returned to the cottage which had already started to feel like home. She toed off her winter boots in the foyer and flopped ungracefully down on the couch. Winky materialised beside her with a mug of hot cocoa which Hermione gratefully accepted, scooting up into a half seated position with her back against the armrest. After a while Severus showed up, finally done for the day in the lab. He lifted her feet off the couch, sat down and replaced them in his lap.

"Rough day?" His dark eyes sought hers.

Hermione groaned. "I had completely forgotten how much I've always dreaded going shopping with my mother, and now she's somehow even more energetic than she used to be. Must be all that Australian sun, can't be good for you."

He smirked and started rubbing her feet. It felt divine.

She had met up with her parents in central London, and they had gone for lunch after spending some time strolling through a few stores. Her parents had spent the day before going through their house and getting it back into livable conditions, and were planning to move back in the next few days. After lunch Hermione took them to her flat. Crookshanks had not been pleased with being left alone but as soon as the half-Kneazle spotted her parents she thought she might be forgiven. Crooks and Henry had always shared a special bond, and Hermione would often find the cat perched on her father's lap while he read the paper aloud when they were home for the summers. With a loud meow the orange cat almost bowled her father over in greeting. Before long the two of them were seated on the couch, deep in discussion. Hermione had set about packing some more things for the cottage, meanwhile, and checked the letters she had received. Several congratulations, some offers of a job but none that sounded interesting, a few proposals and a note from Harry simply stating 'We need to talk'. Well, that was to be expected.

"Are you moving in with Severus? Already?" her mother had asked, obviously concerned.

"Yes… I think so. I know it seems rash but it isn't really. We have a long history."

Catherine had looked at her without speaking, before finally nodding. "Well, you're certainly old enough to know your own mind, dear. Just remember that it takes effort to merge your life with someone else's, and a great deal of communication."

It had taken some cajoling and a catnip toy bribe but she got Crooks to accept taking a trip through the Floo to Oakwood Cottage. She called for Winky when she arrived, asking the elf to set Crooks up in a good spot and show him around the house, and to deposit his food and things somewhere sensible. She then returned to her parents in the flat, who stared disbelievingly when she arrived through the green flames in an unmistakable display of everyday magic.

After leaving her flat they had dropped Henry off at the hotel and the two Granger women had continued through what felt like every store in London, on Catherine's insistence, to look for Christmas gifts, things for the house and for Australia. Hours later Hermione Apparated back to the cottage when her parents were going out to eat and her feet felt as if they were about to fall off. They had invited her along but she preferred to go back to Severus.

"How is your project going?" She took another sip of cocoa.

"Nearly complete, I think. We have several other ideas that I could start after I get this sent off with Lucius to be registered. Have you thought about what you want to do after this?"

She shook her head. "I haven't had the time, honestly. I don't know. Desmond asked me to go see him Monday so we'll see what he says."

He nodded slowly, still looking at her intently. "Take your time, Hermione. If you want to help out with the calculations for my projects that would be highly useful but I think it would be best if you find something to do that is out of the house, be it at St Mungo's or the Ministry or elsewhere. You need to meet people, not stay holed up here. But there's no rush to decide."

Hermione frowned and at first she wanted to protest, to say that she wanted to stay with him, no matter what. But after thinking about it a little longer she thought he might be right. She needed some sort of interaction with people outside of Severus' lab, or they'd drive each other mad.

After a lazy evening where she explored the books he kept in the sitting room, and a light supper of some soup and sandwiches, they made their way upstairs again. Hermione insisted on a shower, saying she needed to wash her hair, and Severus then insisted on joining her, making everything take twice as long but become much more interesting.

~o~o~o~o~o~

It was with jitters in her stomach that she Apparated to Grimmauld Place again the following afternoon and rang the doorbell. Ginny let her in with a smirk that promised lots of uncomfortable questions. She could hear several voices from the drawing room but couldn't quite work out who was there, and Ginny didn't say. She had asked Severus if he wanted to come along but as she had half expected he had refused, saying he'd rather clean out Hagrid's hut than visit that place voluntarily. You'll have to, some day, she had told him and he had reluctantly agreed, but still said it was better if she went alone this time.

Taking a deep breath, she entered the room. The conversation immediately stopped. She saw Harry and smiled at him, trying to project more confidence than she felt, but then she saw that Neville and Millicent was there too. And Ron. That would make things complicated. Ginny came in from a side door and handed her a beer.

Neville was the first to speak. "Err, hi Hermione. Congratulations? It's not very common to get more than one Mastery."

"Thanks, Neville. How are your parents now?"

He smiled a bit brighter at that. "They're… Dad is almost fine now. He's back with Gran and making plans to go back as an Auror soon. Mum is… well, she's finally starting to understand that I'm not Dad, at least."

She nodded and took a sip of her beer to let the subject lapse. She still felt guilty about the trial, but she couldn't deny that Neville now had a father, at the very least. It was also a relief to know she no longer needed to work on that particular problem, if she was to be honest with herself.

"What are you planning to do now?" Millicent asked.

"Well, I'm not sure yet. I haven't really had the time to think about it. How do you like teaching?"

"Blimey, are all of you nuts?" Ron suddenly exploded. "Are you all just going to chat about — about normal things now? She kissed Snape in front of everyone!"

"Ron, don't do this. We talked about this, remember?" Hermione pleaded despite knowing it wouldn't work. It never did, against Ron's temper.

Harry had risen too but everyone seemed frozen in place by Ron's ire.

"I thought I was okay with it! But then it turns out it was him! You were cheating on me with bloody Snape!" Ron shouted. He had risen from his chair. "How could you do that to me, 'Mione?"

"It wasn't about you, Ron. Please, don't be like this."

"You were such an icicle in bed anyway, he can have you," Ron spat.

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Look, Ron. We were wrong for each other, no matter what your mum said. I'm not going to answer that, I don't want to hurt you further. You're with Lavender now anyway."

"Shut up, Ron," his sister snapped. "You know girls talk? Yeah, that includes me, Hermione and Lavender. Ever heard of foreplay?"

Ron flushed a deep scarlet but at least he shut his mouth. After a long moment he turned and stalked out of the room. Soon they heard the front door slam shut.

"Thanks, Ginny," Hermione muttered.

"Anytime. Look, I'm still a bit mad at you but we need to talk separately from all these lunatics. Can I come over later?"

Hermione nodded reluctantly. There would be no way to escape the Ginny inquisition, so she didn't even try. "Maybe tomorrow? Just let me know when, I've been staying with him so I might not be home."

Neville and Millicent rose to leave, sensing that the mood at Grimmauld had shifted dramatically, and they wanted to return to Hogwarts for the evening meal anyway. Millicent seemed happy for her, at least. She hugged Hermione and congratulated her on both the Mastery and on reconnecting with their former Professor. Neville was more wary, still, probably unable to merge the image of the fearsome Potions Professor or the stern Headmaster with someone Hermione chose to date.

Once the pair had left Harry sighed and turned to her. "I don't get it, Hermione. I thought I knew you. How did you end up with him of all people?"

Hermione shrugged. "I told you earlier. We connected. He gets me, Harry, in a way none of you do. I don't see him as our old mean Professor, he's not the same person with me as he was at Hogwarts. Besides, he's even left teaching altogether."

"It's going to be alright, Hermione," Harry said finally. He had taken off his glasses and was rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "It's just a bit confusing right now. I mean, Snape? Really? I mean, he's … he's Snape!"

"You don't have to sleep with him," Hermione finally snapped. "Look, I hear you, but this topic is closed. You can moan to someone else about how evil he was towards you at school. I love him and I've chosen him. I hope you don't let that come between us, you know I love you as a brother but if you force me to choose between him and you, I'll go to him."

Harry looked slightly embarrassed. "I'll try, Hermione. Promise. I don't think I'll ever be friends with him but I do respect him… all those sacrifices he did, for my mum's sake, keeping us safe because of her. I just never thought he'd let go of his love for her."

Hermione frowned. She had heard Harry mention Severus and Lily Potter occasionally but had never pushed for details. Before she could ask, Ginny interrupted.

"Is that a ring, Hermione? Did he propose to you? Already?"

"Yes, Ginny, that is indeed a ring."

"Oh missy, don't get all snarky with me! Let me see it!"

She held out her hand for Ginny to inspect the ring and soon the discussion turned to other topics including marriage, Quidditch and Christmas.

~o~o~o~o~o~

A few hectic weeks later, Christmas was upon them. Hermione had helped out in the labs a bit with Arithmancy calculations and with some of the more basic potions Severus was working on, but otherwise her time had mainly been spent sorting out her flat which she was leaving after the new year, and helping her parents with the house. She had gone to see Desmond at St Mungo's the week after her presentation, and he had talked her into assisting him with some Arithmancy calculations on a contractual basis for various research projects. After talking it through with Severus she accepted. It seemed like a good match to her. There weren't many others that were good at Arithmancy, and that way she wouldn't be directly responsible for whatever state the patients ended up in, although of course her calculations were important to the outcomes.

At first Severus had wanted to refuse celebrating Christmas in the cottage, claiming he was too busy with work, but Hermione had insisted that they invite her parents at the very least, and he had relented after extracting a promise from her to go to the Malfoys' New Years ball. Winky at least had been happy to hear they would have guests over Christmas. Hermione had also invited her friends for Christmas Eve since she wouldn't see Harry and the Weasleys otherwise, and Severus had accepted even that. He had said that since Hermione was to live in the cottage too she was of course allowed to invite her friends, as long as he wasn't forced to socialise all the time.

One by one her friends trickled in through the Floo. Hermione had distributed notes written by Severus with the address since the cottage was Secret-Kept. Bill and Fleur were the first to arrive with Victoire, already three and a half years old and surprisingly well behaved. Hermione suspected it was the French genes as it for sure couldn't be Weasley influence, which Bill confirmed with a laugh when she asked. The Weasley twins were next to arrive, and then Lucy with Marcel. Hermione had already made them promise not to prank anyone in or around the cottage, which had elicited lots of protests until she said they'd lose out on a business opportunity to get assistance with their products if they made Severus or Hermione mad. Harry and Ginny arrived next, with Luna and Kingsley soon behind.

Soon they were all drinking mulled cider or Firewhisky in the sitting room. Severus was talking to Bill and Kingsley, she was happy to note, while Marcel and Luna struck up a discussion with the twins.

"Mum said we weren't welcome to the Burrow if we went to see you," Ginny told her while they were arranging some appetisers on a couple of trays.

Hermione winced. Would Molly Weasley ever give up? "Why on Earth is that any of her business? You're going there tomorrow anyway, aren't you?"

"Yes. Harry actually was a bit concerned to come here but I insisted. It's none of her business. If she starts up trouble we're leaving, Bill and Fleur too and the twins. By the way, did I tell you I met up with Lavender the other day?"

"No? I can't believe they're having a baby, I bet your mother is pleased with that."

They'd moved back into the sitting room and deposited the trays on a nearby horizontal surface. Hermione kissed Severus on the cheek in passing.

Ginny nodded. "Yeah, she's big as a house already and Mum is knitting all the things. I'm sorry, that must be hard on you. But that wasn't what I meant, her scar is nearly healed already. The one on her cheek? She said you'd helped her with a tip. Oh, and she also told me to congratulate you on snaring Snape, actually. You know there was plenty of speculation in the dorms about him given the size of his… nose." Ginny grinned unabashedly.

"Ginny!" Hermione protested, but inwardly she was relieved. If Lavender said that, then Ron's opposition would be short-lived. She went back over to Severus' side, his arm snaking around her waist, giving her strength. She stole a kiss while listening to their discussion. Harry was looking anywhere but at them but she didn't really care about his discomfort.

The evening passed quickly. Bill and Fleur left early. Lucy and Marcel left soon thereafter, saying they needed an early start the next morning.

Harry came up to her. "I'm sorry, Hermione. Seeing you and him together makes it easier to accept, actually. You seem to fit, somehow. I still don't get it but I'm happy that you're happy. You are happy, right?"

"Yes, Harry." She smiled and hugged him. "Thanks. Have you talked to him yet?"

He shook his head and pulled a hand through his messy hair. "Not yet. I… wanted to start with you."

"Go on then." She gave him a small push towards the stern Potions master, her fiance, who was eyeing them intensely over the rim of his glass.

Harry groaned but actually nodded and went over to Severus. Hermione watched them but didn't go any closer, it was on Harry to take the first step.

"Professor, thank you for extending an invitation to Ginny and myself."

Severus inclined his head slightly. "Luckily for all, I am neither your Professor anymore nor anyone else's, actually. It's Severus, Potter."

Harry nodded and grinned suddenly. "Thank you, umm, Severus. I would hope you could call me Harry. I'm not my father. Honest."

He held out his hand to the older man who raised an eyebrow and then took it. "Indeed. Harry. I suspect I will have to suffer your presence here occasionally now, and Miss Weasley's too."

"It's Ginny, as you well know," Ginny interjected with a smile. "You bet we'll show up to check that Hermione isn't buried under a stack of books all the time."

~o~o~o~o~o~

Christmas Day was more subdued. She had managed to get a special permit for her parents to have their house hooked up to the Floo network. It still wouldn't work for them unless they were accompanied by someone magical, and so Hermione tumbled out of their fireplace and brought them along one by one. Her father said it felt like a roller coaster ride but her mother was almost as green as the Floo flames when she arrived. Luckily Winky showed up with a stool for her to sit on to regain her balance, and soon they were gathered in the sitting room with a glass of champagne. Hermione had briefed her parents on house elves, and it only took them a few moments to get over their surprise when they first saw Winky in her fancy uniform. They greeted the elf and gave her a set of knitted pot holders in bright colours. Winky's eyes got as large as saucers when she realised the guests had actually brought her a gift.

"This is a lovely cottage," Catherine said to Severus after they'd been given a brief tour. "You bought it alone, didn't you?" They were walking slightly ahead of Hermione and Henry, having just checked out the annexes.

Severus nodded. "Yes, but I had some hope that we would reconnect so I took that into account when I looked for a suitable place."

Hermione smiled when she heard it. He hadn't mentioned that earlier. She enjoyed seeing Severus with her parents. They were more comfortable around each other than she'd expected, but then again, him having spent a full week with them in Australia must have broken down a few barriers. It was a relief to see them approving of him and of their relationship.

They shared a lovely meal in the cottage, of roast beef, roast potatoes and all the side dishes. Hermione and Winky had decided on the menu together, skipping the turkey since there were only the four of them. Severus was apparently happy as long as he got a proper Yorkshire pudding, but he too had helped with food preparations.

Hermione was happy, slightly tipsy and very full when they settled on the couch after the meal. Severus had Transfigured the armchair into another couch to better accommodate the guests, and served Firewhisky to Henry and a small cognac to Catherine. Hermione leaned into him, breathing in his scent, listening to Severus and her father discussing Australian plants.

She was asleep on his lap when he asked Winky to Apparate her to bed and help her out of her clothes, and barely noticed when he settled in bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her again.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Hermione had been as reluctant to visit the Malfoys as Severus had been over hosting people for Christmas, but when the latter went off without a hitch she thought she should just take a deep breath and get over herself. She'd begged Lucy for some input on a suitable dress and they'd spent a day in the stores before she ended up with a navy blue gown layered with sheer gold brocade. Severus had told her to buy what she wanted on his tab but she didn't want to impose on him, and anyway she still had savings.

They Apparated to just inside the Manor's gates which was apparently the standard Apparition spot for invited or trusted guests, the rest of the estate being under strong wards. Severus wore midnight blue robes with smoky silver fumes twirling along the hems and split hanging sleeves that left his forearms free. Underneath he had a dark blue frock coat with silver buttons, and a cream-coloured cravat. His hair was tied back with a ribbon, accentuating his sharp cheekbones although Hermione guessed he didn't really plan it that way. Still, she thought he looked dashing, and told him as much. He snorted in response and kissed her cheek.

The gravel path was wide enough for four horse carriages in width. Three gilded driverless carriages, drawn by Abraxans, were waiting by the Apparition point to take them to the Manor. He helped her up in one and settled beside her. Without warning the carriage started moving, and they rode in silence to the Manor. Hermione looked out over the garden which was now still and quiet with a light dusting of snow barely covering the grass, waiting for spring. She felt on edge, not at all comfortable with the situation, but she'd tried to hide it from Severus.

A short while later she found herself standing beside Severus, a glass of excellent champagne in hand, looking out over the ballroom. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy had come by to greet them as they arrived. Hermione wasn't sure what to say to them. I see you did away with the chandelier, sorry it crashed when I was tortured on your floor didn't quite cut it. The Malfoys were perfect hosts, of course, but Hermione thought she'd seen a bit of tension in Narcissa's smile even when the blonde witch asked to be called by her first name. She just wasn't sure if the tension was due to her blood status or if they too were thinking of that time during the war. Lucius hadn't shown up again at the cottage but she was glad to at least be better dressed this time than when they had last met.

A string quartet was playing from the scene of the ballroom and countless smaller floating lights and chandeliers lit up the room, making it glitter. They danced a slow waltz together. Severus led her expertly across the floor, his large hand splayed over her lower back, holding her close.

To her surprise she saw Claudette Millefeuille looking at them, glaring daggers at her from across the room. She'd never expected to see the witch again, and her stomach plummeted. Severus didn't pay the other witch any mind, but Hermione could almost feel the glares and stares not just from that one witch.

They danced the next one too, a foxtrot. She'd always liked the foxtrot but the weight of those stares made her stumble a few times. Severus quirked an eyebrow at her but didn't comment. When the dance finished they walked off to the side just as Draco came by and nodded at them.

"Severus, Lucius asked to see if you could go with him to check on something. The Billingsley figures, he said."

Severus growled. "I suppose I must. Hermione, will you be alright for a short while?"

She smiled faintly at him and nodded, looking after him as he stalked out of the ballroom in search of Lucius. Draco led her off to a standing table and handed her a glass of champagne.

"So, err, congratulations," Draco said somewhat awkwardly.

"Thanks?"

The blond wizard nodded. "Well, I heard about your thesis work. Bringing both Lockhart and the Longbottoms back, that's seriously impressive."

Hermione grimaced. "I just… I wish I could have done more for them. Alice Longbottom is still in a bad way. They had to Obliviate her to stop her from screaming."

"Can't win them all." Draco shrugged. "My deranged aunt was very good at that. And then you managed to snare Snape as well, that's quite the feat. I suppose you make sense together, once you get past that initial squeamishness."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I've never been squeamish about him."

Draco snorted. "Right. No, seriously, congratulations. You're both scarily brilliant, you know."

"Thanks, I guess. How are you?"

Draco told her a bit about his work at the Ministry where he apparently was starting to find a place for himself, finally. He'd earned a sideways promotion to a different team and was finally able to move away a bit from the shadow of his father and the Death Eaters.

"So… who is everyone here? I don't recognise most of them."

Draco nodded and started telling her about their guests, and soon Hermione was giggling behind her glass when he described their petty secrets, saying that embarrassing moments were the currency of Pureblood interaction and that she shouldn't be caught unawares. He even asked her to dance, and she accepted albeit somewhat reluctantly. He was a good dancer, though. After a while Narcissa called for him, but Severus was still not back. The other witches were still staring at her, including Claudette.

She asked for directions to the ladies', mainly for having an excuse to be elsewhere.

On her way back she was cornered by three of the witches that had been staring at her all evening. She didn't know any of them but recognised Miss Blishwick and Madam Avery from Draco's commentary, and thought the third one might be a Macmillan.

"So you think you've snared him, do you? Oh well, plenty of witches made the same mistake already, and they weren't… you." Miss Blishwick smirked at her, looking her up and down.

Miss Macmillan giggled and nodded. "Yes, sometimes he had more than one, right? And they never knew about each other."

"Oh well, she'll know soon enough, when she finds him in bed with someone," Madam Avery sighed with false sympathy. "Claudette was certain she'd snare him tonight. After all, he was basically hers already."

"So-long, little one," Miss Blishwick said when the trio left, giggling.

She didn't believe them, not for one second. Severus wouldn't. Surely. She knew him better than that.

And yet when she rounded a corner in the large hallway she saw Severus walking away further down the corridor, headed for a side door, apparently not noticing her. He was… was that? There was a witch on his arm, and when Hermione gasped the witch turned her head. It was Claudette Millefeuille. The witch shot her a triumphant smirk just before they disappeared through the door.

Now she really didn't know what to think. Would he… was he… no that couldn't be it. And yet he had undoubtedly left her alone in the Malfoy Mansion, the place that still haunted her nights, only to be seen with his old fling.

Stunned, she had stopped in the middle of the hallway. Another group of witches walked past, talking loud enough to be overheard about her and Severus, claiming she shouldn't try to get ideas above her station and that he'd surely get tired of her within a month.

She turned on her heels and ran out of the building. Someone called her name but she didn't stop until she made it back to the Apparition spot, disappearing to the first place that came into her mind that wasn't the cottage.

~o~o~o~o~o~

She didn't know how long she'd sat with her back to the pillar that held up the gates to Hogwarts, hugging her knees to her chest, trying to make sense of it all. She'd cast a warming charm which wasn't quite sufficient against the Scottish winter night. A light dusting of fresh snow covered everything and the moon was out, occasionally hidden behind passing clouds. Gradually despair gave way to anger, bubbling up inside her like magma. She realised that she was actually rather furious with him, for treating her like that. How could he? The whole situation was so messy and convoluted, she barely understood her own feelings. It wasn't just that evening either but rather everything. Why was it all on her, all this guilt and responsibility? Why had he kept shutting her down last year when she'd tried to talk to him about the future or anything serious? How dared he leave her, refusing all communication when she tried to explain? And being seen with Claudette during the Ministry ball, not even two weeks after him running out of her life, most definitely aimed to hurt her? Why was he with her now, at the Malfoys? Was it another attempt at humiliating her?

Suddenly the crack of an Apparition made her jump to her feet, her wand out.

Severus approached her, cautiously. "Hermione. Why on Earth are you here?"

Something broke inside her. Or maybe it was already broken. "You drag me there, to a place I still have nightmares about and leave me completely alone? And then I see you in the arms of that witch who's been glaring daggers at me all evening? And everyone keeps telling me about your multiple affairs, laughing at the pathetic little Mudblood who thinks she's snared the great Severus Snape and I just don't know who you are anymore! I thought I could trust you!"

He stepped closer, his hands raised in a pacifying gesture. "Hermione, calm down. We were just discussing business —"

She did not calm down. His words ignited her anger further, making her hair worm free from its bindings, crackling and hissing with magical discharge. "Maybe you thought you were but she definitely thought she had won you back! You should have seen the looks she threw at me when you left with her wrapped around you like a bloody cuttlefish! And why did you think it would be acceptable to do anything with her after that awful stunt you pulled last spring! Hadn't you heard about Ron and I breaking up? Someone must have mentioned it, Millicent, the Headmistress, anyone! The way you looked at me at that horrible Ministry ball — as if I didn't exist, you broke my heart completely! And again when I showed up at your doorstep — why on Earth would I seek you out if the baby had been Ron's? How can I know you won't do something like that again? Run away as soon as something gets difficult, shut me out without explanation?"

He stopped then, finally. A frown appeared, the crease between his eyebrows deepening. "Please, Hermione. You're right, I did that to deliberately hurt you back then. I'm so sorry. I cannot make it undone, any of this. Those other witches? They're jealous, although the reason eludes me."

She was not at all ready to listen, to give up on her anger. "Did you fuck them too? Is that it?"

Somehow he had managed to move closer, placing a hand cautiously on her upper arm. He sighed and looked away. "I… After the end of the war I had a hard time figuring out who I was supposed to be. I was angry and half suicidal and confused with the sudden death of the two madmen I served under. For some reason several witches sought me out as a war hero. I … I'll admit I took advantage of the fact that witches finally noticed me but not until you did I find someone I could actually connect with, not just for a night. I told you I want to bond with you properly, I'll gladly make a fidelity vow to you, it won't make the tiniest difference for me, I only ever want you. No other woman but you."

"I'm sure that's what you said to Claudette too!" she spat, wrenching herself out of his grasp.

He flinched and she immediately felt guilty, she'd said that to hurt him, not because she particularly believed it although she was still mad at him. "No, Hermione. Never. I've never ever told anyone that I love them either. Only you. I love you."

She burst into tears. "Severus, that's why it hurt so much, I love you, I do."

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Hermione, please, forgive me for my inattention today. Lucius wanted to build some business connections. For some reason it slipped my mind that you might be less than comfortable in the Manor."

"Is he in on it too?" she asked in a small voice. "With… Claudette?"

He shook his head, looking pained, frowning. "No. Not at all. I had no idea she was coming and I don't think Lucius expected her either. Apparently she wasn't invited but tagged along with her new fiance whom Lucius wanted us to do business with. Please believe me, Hermione. I haven't seen her since July. I'm so sorry. Lucius asked about you earlier and if you would accept visiting the Manor, or if you would rather decline due to the war experiences. Tell me what you want from me, if I can gain your trust back. Please?"

Hermione looked up at him for the first time. That was not a word she'd heard him say, ever. Slowly she moved closer to him, allowing him to wrap her in his arms. "I'm not sure, Severus. I want to trust you. I do. You've always kept your word, for as long as I've known you. But in this? I have no idea how to move forward. We never talked properly about all this."

He nodded against her hair and she could feel his strained breathing, as if he was trying to control his emotions. Slowly she unfolded her arms and wrapped them around his chest, holding him close. They stayed like that for a long time. Her cheeks were wet with tears and when she shifted to look up at him she saw tears glittering on his cheeks too. She wiped them away with her thumb and settled back against his chest, feeling him press a kiss to her forehead. He was warm, solid.

"How did you find me?" She pulled back slightly to look at him again.

"Draco came to find me, saying you were upset and had run off. I Floo'd to the cottage first but didn't find you, obviously. Winky somehow knew, though. I'm not sure if it's because she has some connections here but she told me to not be an idiot and to go here and say I was sorry or she'd make me sorry."

Hermione snorted. "House-elves know more than we think."

She could feel him nodding. "Evidently." He drew a deeper breath. "You are right, we do need to talk about this properly, but could we not do that in the snow outside the Hogwarts gates at nearly midnight? But now that we're here… Do you want to visit her? I never showed you what I did with…"

"Oh…" After a moment she nodded and moved out of his embrace. He put his winter cloak around her shoulders and offered her his arm instead, and cast new warming charms while she Transfigured her highly impractical golden high heels to a pair of sensible boots.

The gates opened to Severus' wand despite him not being a teacher there anymore, and he led her across the snow-covered lawn to the greenhouses. The stars were out, and the waxing moon lit their path. The Castle was quiet and dark except for flickering light in a few windows, including those of the Great Hall. Hagrid's hut was dark and the Whomping Willow rustled its branches at them as they passed. There was an old oak by one of the greenhouses, the one closest to the Forbidden Forest. Under its canopy there was an oblong granite stone about a foot in diameter, looking slightly out of place in the Scottish soil but at the same time fitting in well with the surroundings. He whispered an incantation, and a golden inscription shimmered into view. Hermione stepped closer to read it. Omnia Mutantur, Nihil Interit. Aimee Granger Snape, you left us before we knew you. Severus had stopped a little further back, allowing her time to take it in. She knelt by the stone and brushed away some of the debris around it.

"I took some liberties with the name."

She nodded slowly. "It's good, Severus. A good name. The Latin, it's Everything Changes, Nothing Perishes?" Looking back over her shoulder she saw him nodding. "Thank you," she murmured. "I hadn't started thinking about names, it was still too early."

Sinking down on her knees in front of the small stone, she was thrown back to those weeks when she'd come to terms with the pregnancy, and the awful end. She'd probably always wonder what their child would have been like, if she had been allowed to grow up. However, she thought, life had changed for her and put her on a different path, where new joys and sorrows awaited, and she realised she wasn't sad over it. It would be alright, in the end. Different, but alright.

After a while her thoughts started to circle back to the man standing quietly behind her. What had he thought about it all? They hadn't talked about that either. He had most certainly not expected to walk in on that when he discovered her in the bathroom.

"Goodbye," she whispered and touched the stone before rising, taking the few steps back to him.

He looked at her, warily, but made no move to touch her. "What would you want to do, Hermione? If you want we could go back and show them all they're wrong. I won't leave your side for a minute."

She shook her head. "No. I'm not going back there now. I'll head back to the cottage for now."

"Very well. We can insult Purebloods some other time."

"You say the sweetest things." She looped her arm through his and let him Apparate them back to the cottage.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Once they were back she changed into jeans and an oversized jumper, and settled in his armchair in front of the fire. Winky popped in and handed her a mug of hot cocoa. Soon Severus came to join her, taking a seat on the couch on the other side of the fireplace with a glass of cognac. He was still clad in his impeccable dress robes but had shed the outer layer and changed to his woollen house slippers instead of the dragon-hide boots. She didn't really look at him, her eyes following the flames without really looking at them.

"Hermione. You're right. We need to talk about all of this."

She nodded.

He cleared his throat and swirled the amber drink. "I should start somewhere else, I think. At the beginning of it all. What has Potter told you about Lily?"

That threw her for a moment. What did she have to do with anything? But Harry had mentioned something earlier that she'd filed away as something to investigate later. "Lily… Potter? Nothing related to you, why? Or wait, he did say something recently about you being in love with her, that you did everything for her? I don't know why though, is it true?"

"I thought he had shown you my memories?"

Hermione pulled her feet up in the armchair. "No. He respected your privacy. I think he showed Kingsley for the trial but that's it as far as I know."

"How astonishing, a Potter with a conscience. I had thought he'd shared that, and the things he discovered against my wishes during those blasted Occlumency sessions."

She glared at him. "Stop it. I'm not in the mood and you're on thin ice as it is. Harry's never been a bully. He hasn't told me anything related to you."

Severus grimaced. "My apologies."

He took a sip of cognac and began telling her of his childhood. His parents, with an abusive and alcoholic Muggle father and a withdrawn and detached witch mother. Finding magic, Lily. Going to Hogwarts, the bullying from the Marauders that neither the teachers nor the Headmaster saw fit to stop. Almost being killed by Lupin. Losing his friend due to a rash word. Hermione soon found herself lost in his tale, in the story he wove in his rich deep voice.

Something didn't quite add up. "Do you really think she broke up with you only because of a word?"

He frowned but eyed her steadily. "Well, we weren't a couple. She didn't like my other friends, or acquaintances rather. Most of them went on to be Death Eaters."

"Well, I would never have abandoned a friend just because of a word. That's ridiculous. I'd never have made it as Harry's and Ron's friend all these years that way."

"You are a rather extraordinary witch."

He fell silent for a minute but soon continued to tell her of his Death Eater years. Finding companionship with the others and justifying his actions with his hatred of his father, but trying to stay away from the worst atrocities. His Apprenticeship years, funded by Malfoy and the Dark Lord's influence. And then the fateful day when he overheard the prophecy in the Hog's Head, leading to him joining Albus Dumbledore to try to save Lily's life despite the fact that she didn't want anything to do with him.

"I killed her, the one bright spot in my world."

"No, Severus, you didn't kill her. It wasn't your wand that struck her down, it wasn't you who refused to be Secret-Keeper for the Potters and instead had them choose Pettigrew, it wasn't your choice to go after them."

Somehow she'd moved from the armchair to the couch, nestling up close to him. He didn't look at her but an arm wrapped around her shoulders.

He shook his head. "Albus never let me forget my duties, my guilt. It became my lodestar during the next fifteen years. I was stuck at Hogwarts as a teacher with a mask to uphold, and that was it. He made especially sure to force me to participate during the Halloween horrors he inflicted on the Castle, claiming he did it for my own good to drag me out of the dungeons but I always suspected he enjoyed needling me when I was at my lowest."

"You never had any, you know, relationships then? With a witch? Or wizard, I guess."

"No. Albus frowned upon teachers having a life, I was depressed and obsessing over Lily who was dead and anyway had never loved me, and I pushed everyone away that tried to get close, not that there were many who tried. There were a few women, during the summers or the occasional weekend night in a pub, but nothing lasting. Sometimes I went to Muggle bars as they were guaranteed to not know my history. I told myself I didn't need a woman in my life, that I was too grumpy and miserable to attract one and I couldn't stand most of them for long anyway."

She nodded and fell silent, sipping her cocoa. It did make sense, in a rather sad way. Right at the beginning when they met in Prague he had said he didn't do relationships. He had kept pushing back when she tried to ask about a future.

"You were afraid, weren't you? Of actually defining whatever we had as a proper relationship." She'd ended up leaning against him, her head resting against his shoulder. She was tired but talking was more important.

"Yes." He cleared his throat again. "As I mentioned, after the war it took me quite a few years to redefine who I might be without the two Masters pulling the strings, and that included what I might want when it came to female company. The recognition and fame caused all kinds of witches to seek me out, mostly for the wrong reasons as I'm sure you can imagine. Most either feared me or thought me a half-blood opportunist who should shut up in the company of proper pure-bloods and be grateful for being given the chance to be seen with them."

She snorted. Yes. Harry, Ron and herself had also seen their fair share of publicity. While Harry had always shied from it and she herself was mostly portrayed in a negative light, Ron had enjoyed the attention.

He sipped his cognac. "That more or less brings us to Prague. I found you quite irresistible, you had finally grown into your intellect and started thinking for yourself, you looked stunning in those robes, and you knew my history and yet you didn't fear me. I knew of Weasley of course, I told you as much. Still, even then, I was quite keen on seducing you. It worked for a while even when we returned to Britain but some time that summer things got real."

"I tried to talk to you, Severus."

He sighed. "I know. I just… Every single thing I've wanted has always been taken from me, Hermione, ever since I was a boy. I think that's why I didn't dare… I couldn't think of any situation that would end up with you being mine for real. That's why I shut you down, and that's why I left when you tried to tell me of Weasley's proposal, I was certain I had lost you. The rest of it was not exactly planned. I had been invited to tea the next day at the Manor, Narcissa had invited Claudette and I accepted her proposition. She'd been married to Rookwood who as you might recall was captured in the Battle of Hogwarts and so she sought to clear her name by joining with me instead after the Ministry granted her a divorce."

"You hurt me horribly." She sat up straighter, for some reason needing more distance, pulling her feet up and scooting back to the other corner of the couch.

"I know. I'm so sorry, Hermione. And we should have discussed this earlier."

"Yes." She yawned. It was late, midnight had passed without either of them noticing. She didn't exactly feel like celebrating anyway.

"Let us go to bed, you're tired."

"No. So, we're roughly at that horrible ball. Go on."

He took another sip of his drink and cleared his throat again. "I don't know what to tell you about it, Hermione. As you surmised I went to the Ministry Ball with her since I expected you to show up in the arms of Weasley. When you later showed up on my doorstep I was shocked to see you. I didn't want to give anything away to Claudette so I dismissed you, fully well knowing it would hurt you. I'm so sorry, Hermione. I had planned to send Muninn to you later."

It wasn't enough but it was honest, at least. Some of his actions still didn't make sense to her but with his background and personality perhaps that was to be expected.

"And then Luna sent you to me," she whispered.

"And then Luna sent me to you." His voice was hoarse by now. "I thought you had merely locked yourself in and refused to talk to anyone, but that scene in your bathroom… It hit me harder than any of the atrocities I'd seen or performed during the Dark Lord's reign. When you said it was… she was our daughter…"

"Yes."

"I tried to help you but I feared it wasn't enough. Seeing you in that much pain, learning about our daughter and then losing her at the same moment, I didn't know what to do to take over some of your pain. You were bleeding badly. Had I not come…"

She nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks. "But you did. You were there, you anchored me."

He took a deep breath. "The rest you know. I too needed time to think about all this, to work out my own part in all of it and to allow you some space. Hagrid and Firenze helped me bury her remains at Hogwarts. I was busy researching how to cure your parents, finalising the books and buying this cottage."

They fell silent. Hermione was thinking about what he had told her. Could they move on from there? Forge a new path? He'd already said he would not hurt her on purpose again, could she hold him to that? Another thought struck her.

"Do you want children, Severus?"

His breath hitched. "If you do, Hermione, I would, with you. But preferably not too soon if given the choice. I think we need to grow into this together first."

She nodded slowly and moved closer to him again, resting against his side. He put both arms around her. "You won't ever do something like that again? You will tell Claudette she can stuff it?"

Severus snorted. "I would stay by your side for an eternity and beyond, Hermione, and if that means making enemies of some Pureblood witches… well, what else is new?"

She reached up to kiss his cheek. "Alright. I'll forgive you for your stupidity today. It was good to talk about this. Thank you, Severus. Happy New Year."

"I think we missed the strike of midnight." He raised an eyebrow at her again.

"Well, we just have to find a different time zone. I'm sure it's still last year somewhere." She kissed him.

They made it to bed, Hermione asking Winky for help her with the makeup and hair pins. She scooted up against him, her back against his chest.

"We'll be alright, Severus," she murmured before a yawn overtook her.

"Thank you for listening." His voice vibrated against her back.

She nodded, almost asleep already, and twined her fingers with his. "Love you."

"I love you, witch."