"You're welcome. Writing reviews, especially for your stories, has become one of my favorites." Aww, thank you! So glad to hear it. Interacting with readers is probably one of my favorite aspects of writing fics. Yeah, as far as I've seen Voltron has done a pretty good job at creating something fresh that doesn't lose sight of what it was born from. You'll have to let me know if you ever manage to find the new Voltron anywhere. I found the original on YouTube lol.
"And yes, things are getting more complicated for Acxa. I think she would have also metioned her doubts about possible survivers, if she hadn't have her transformation, but it seems to me her insecurity about her own new limits had also affected her a bit." Indeed, she hasn't found her footing yet. "All she knows for sure now, that human bodies are weaker and maybe less resistable than Galra bodies." Exactly, she doesn't think that they are as adapt, or at least isn't sure and doesn't quite want to test that theory on herself. "I'm speculating a bit now, but she seems to me a very logical person if it comes to judging situations in missions (maybe also in general?)." This is somewhat how I've interpreted her character. I see her as logic driven and somewhat standoffish on the surface. But beneath that she's kind of just a socially awkward dork with a bad past. "So the others shouldn't have react this way," The others are still trying to feel her out due in part to her past history with them. They don't trust each other yet.
"And Keith has his own problems. It seems to me, that he's blaming himself for the bad results of the last mission and so he has snaped on Acxa, instead of handling the situation more relaxed." That's the basic gist of it. He was also angry with himself and he was desperate to have a worth while success. "Talking about his problems with Acxa might be helpful for him, cause if got her character right, she will definitly understand his point of view." Yeah lol, a boy needs to learn to communicate. xP "but for now it seems to me that he has hurt her more than he knows" He has, yes. "Best chapter so far, in my opinion." Thanks, I think chapter 1 is still my favorite lol. But this new one comes pretty close.
Acxa still hasn't emerged from her room, save for a few trips to dinner which she carried out of the cafeteria and into her room. A solid three days have passed and he is growing concerned. He didn't think that he had snapped on her that harshly. But then, the Galra could harbor a pretty wicked grudge.
He makes his way towards her door. They have another mission, a similar rescue, but this time the laboratory is still in operation. He is beginning to wonder how many of those things she actually has. He hopes that at least one of them still has her conversion research notes. He knocks at Acxa's door. "Come on, open up!" Truth be told he is growing agitated. He'd rather her just yell at him for a few minutes and be done with it. Instead she chooses to cold shoulder him and drag things out. "Fine, don't answer me, but don't expect me to come back again." He'll let her come to him and he'll be the one to ignore the knocking. He clenches his fists and turns away. He gets perhaps a few feet down the hall when he hears the door open.
He spares a glance back and sees her in the doorway.
He keeps walking.
He looks back again, she has come to stand in the hall, but she goes no further. Apparently, she is better at taking hints because she turns to retreat again. He groans to himself, he doesn't know why he's playing stupid games—especially with someone who can't exactly pickup on human cues. He power walks back to her doorway, creating enough ruckus to stop her from shutting the door. "Can we talk?"
She opens the door wholly, and motions him inside. Her eyes are bleak and tired, he wonders if she has been having her nightmares still. If she has, she has been dealing with them alone. She climbs back on to her bed and leans against the wall with her knees drawn up to her chest. He thinks that she might have been crying. It would account for her taking so long to open the door.
Keith sighs, he isn't good with apologies. "I was hoping you could join me for lunch?"
"Your friends don't share your hopes." Acxa answered. "I should stay here. If you want to eat lunch with me, you can bring it here."
"What are you talking about?" He asks.
"Your friends do not like me. They do not trust me."
He wishes that she was just trying to guilt him, that would be a lot easier to deal with. "They're still trying to get used to you is all. You're not exactly easy to talk to." Her face falls even more and he knows that it has come out wrong. "It's not…they just don't understand your line of thinking."
"You don't either." She states dryly.
"No. No, that's not true either. I was just…" he trails off. "I've been making so many wrong calls lately. Voltron is supposed to save the universe, but lately we've just been a little too late. I just wanted to make the right call for once."
"And you have." Acxa replies stiffly, "congratulations, Keith."
He doesn't know how to respond to that.
"It must be nice." She pauses. "To be able to make a series of 'wrong calls', and still be trusted to make the right one eventually."
Keith can't tell if she is hurt or resentful, her level tone reveals no hints. He rubs his forehead in frustration. He doesn't know if it is he who is bad at communication, or her. Or both of them. So maybe he should stop trying to talk.
He takes her hand and gives it a squeeze. She still doesn't look at him so he pulls her into a hug instead and kisses the crook of her neck.
"I do trust you." He says, eventually. "That's why I'm asking you to join us on another mission."
.oOo.
The offer is in good nature, but she isn't sure that she is ready for another mission. She has worn herself out, sleep has been scarce. She also doesn't particularly want more scrutiny from the other Paladins, she has made a fool of herself.
"Come with us." He offers gently.
"When are you leaving?"
"Hopefully soon. So if you're coming, you better get dressed for it." His hand caresses her cheek. "I'd really like you to come with us, you know more about her labs than we do."
With a sigh, Acxa stands. Going back to one of Haggar's laboratories sounds just about as enticing as subjecting herself to more criticism from the Paladins. But she is almost certain that this is Keith's way of letting her know he feels bad for their last mission. She doesn't want to reject his apology.
.oOo.
This time they stick together and this time they leave the MFE pilots on call aboard the Atlas. The less people they had for this one, the better. They needed to be just as quick as the last time, but more subtle. He doesn't know if Haggar is in her laboratory and he doesn't want a run in with her, not quite yet.
There is a tension within the group and he knows that the feeling radiates from Acxa. The woman keeps to herself as they discuss plans. He can't imagine her actually offering an opinion after how her last one had been received. He wishes that she would talk though, at least enough to vocalize what kind of layout they can expect.
"So how many prisoners are we looking for?" Shiro asks.
"I'd guess no more than ten, I can't imagine that Haggar would run too many experiments at once." It is a bluff, honestly he wouldn't be surprised to hear that she's converting people and Galra by the hundreds now that she knows she can. This is where Acxa's experience would come in handy. He shoots her a glance, but the hint is lost on her.
They do their best to keep out of sight, only talking if need be. Mostly anyhow, "why did we even bring her along anyways." Lance mutters.
"Because she knows what she's doing, just give her a chance."
"We have and we know that she likes to call it quits when the odds look bad."
"I'm sure that, that's not it." Keith grumbles. He still needs to inquire about the logic behind wanting to retreat so early on. "She's still trying to figure out her own limits." He guesses.
.oOo.
Acxa is thrice as uneasy as she was on their last mission. It is not the same as her prison was, but it is similar enough. The Paladins are noisy and it makes things difficult. Her senses are already diluted without their chatter. But she listens, she listens for that horrid electrical hum. If she can find it, then she could find this laboratory's UV room. And if she can find that, then she can find the holding cells. Lance and Keith continue to fuss and it draws Pidge into their debate. Acxa can't focus. She wishes to vocalize this but she knows that she is just barely welcomed, so she keeps it to herself.
She pads along listening to them grow heated over her presence and she regrets having come at all. She thinks that they are well aware that she can hear them. The only one, save for Keith, who doesn't seem to have it out for her is Hunk who continuously points out that they had given Lotor an easier time than they are giving her.
Something draws her attention away from the conversation. In the center of the room is a pulsating egg-shaped monolith of sorts. Standing nearly to the ceiling, it radiates magenta with quintessence. From the top of the structure is a generous waterfall of thick wires and tubes, they web out over the floor like veins from a heart. She scopes out the thickest cluster of tubes. The Paladins are heading in the opposite direction. "We have to go this way."
"Why that way?" Lance asks.
She points at the tubes. "Most of the quintessence is flowing that way." Flowing that way and into the seeping into the UV bulbs.
"Is the exit flowing that way too?" Lance asks.
She doesn't share his humor. "Come with me or don't." Frankly she hopes that he doesn't. Leaving no room for debate, she follows the bundle of tubes up a flight of stairs; a faint humming accompanies her. It puts knots in her belly and doubts in her head. Maybe she shouldn't have wandered off on her own. The hallway is so jarringly similar to her former prison, it brings things to the front of her mind that are best left buried. She can almost feel the nippy fingers of air on her bare skin as they drag her to the UV room. Can feel their claws digging into the skin of her arms. Skin that grew more and more delicate witch each visit, with each flash of the bulbs.
She feels dizzy, the hum seems to grow louder. Louder and louder until it is all she can hear. She tries to remind herself that she is safe now…but is she really?
Now that she has put herself back into a laboratory and strayed from the group.
She feels naked all over again, vividly she recalls the feeling of straps curling and tightening around her wrists. The feeling of the fight leaving her body. She keeps walking, all she has to do is find the prisoners, then she can leave. She can leave and they won't begrudge her anymore.
Still the buzzing screams into her ears. She knows that it truly is getting louder as she draws closer, but the sound is amplified. She can't do this anymore. She can't but she does, because they have to be close. She can feel herself straying from the present. She grows distant until she is in another time entirely.
Her own breathing reverberates in her ears.
Suddenly she is back in the UV room.
Suddenly an intense heat is scorching the blue out of her skin.
She finds herself a spot nestled between two large fuse boxes and burrows herself in the shadows, shaking all over. She buries her face in her knees and clutches her head. She has to get a grip, but she can feel it. She can feel the quintessence burning through her skin and reaching her very core. Her mind. She can feel it tear and mutilate her DNA code.
.oOo.
He ought to stick with the rest of the group, but he can't just let Acxa wander about alone. That aside, he trusts her judgement; if she says that the prisoners were held in the west side of the laboratory, then they probably are. He is beginning to understand why she has been hesitant to come along.
Keith follows the length of the tubes she had pointed to. He only has a soft electrical hum to accompany him. It is the only sound he hears until he reaches almost halfway down the long hallway. Now, the sound of erratic breathing intermingles with the hum.
"Acxa?" He calls softly. He is reluctant to touch her, she is trembling so violently and silent tears trickle down her cheeks. His stomach lurches—God forbid one of Haggar's guard personal should come by. He calls her name again, this time he makes the mistake of placing a hand on her shoulder. She flinches and lashes out.
What she now lacks in size, she makes up for in raw power and instinct. Her sudden pounce he had expected, the force she exerts catches him off guard. The punch she delivers to the side of his head rattles him. And the low growl of her voice when she tells him to stay away from her, shakes him more.
"Acxa, it's me, Keith…" He lifts his hands. He doesn't know quite where she is, but he knows that she isn't with him. "I'm not going to hurt you." He kicks himself mentally for talking to her as though she is some animal he has cornered.
"We're on a rescue mission, remember?" He tries, it gives him an idea, he just has to keep going with this. "And we aren't rescuing you." He doesn't know if she can even hear him. "You're doing the rescuing, remember? And you can't do that if you're…" he winces as she throws him against the wall. "If you're fighting me." Everything in him is screaming at him to throw her off of him and strike back. "You're in control, see." Her grip seems to loosen so he repeats and reiterates. "You're in control." It is a mantra he repeats until he can see it in her eyes that she is making her way back. She unleashes her hold and he lets out a deep sigh.
And he sees it in her eyes, the absolute horror. She isn't completely lucid, but she is aware enough to know that her judgment had lapsed. She is still shaky and he counts both he and her blessed that none of the other Paladins had followed him. He takes her in his arms and runs his hands through her hair, until her trembling slows. "I take it, we're close to the UV room?"
As soundless as ever, she makes her way to a door and gives it a push. It doesn't budge so she takes her gun out and shoots the lock. There is a mechanical hiss and she pushes again. The view is as sinister and uninviting as she implied. Long and large light bulbs line the ceiling in bars. They decorate the walls as well, but with more space between them. He can see that the tubes he has been following are, indeed, pumping quintessence into the bulbs. The room is like a sauna or, perhaps, an overlarge tanning bed. It is uncomfortably and dangerously humid. The only thing in the room is something akin to a hospital gurney with bloodied straps. A few syringes litter the floor. The UV lights are dim and he hears Acxa mutter something about how it had just been used. He can't get her to look into the room, much less enter it.
He decides not to push, he doesn't want to coax her into another episode of sorts. Instead he says, "we need to get out of here and find those prisoners. She has never taken him up on an offer faster.
.oOo.
Walking the rest of the way down the hall, it is clear to her that she has messed up again. She should have stayed behind where she belonged. Heroics weren't for her. No, she belonged on the villainous side of the battle, she had been of more help to them. Walking is becoming a task, her feet feel so heavy, she is practically dragging them along. The panic attack has drained her already depleted energy reserve. She doesn't mean to snub Keith and his attempts at conversation, but she doesn't have the will to uphold it.
She doesn't have the will to do anything more than wonder how it is that they haven't run into any guards. Something was terribly wrong. Something…
Something. But her tired mind is having trouble piecing it together. She just knows that she doesn't trust nor like it.
After a few more right turns, she comes to what she is looking for; a long strip of doors numbered in her mother tongue. They are prison numbers. "Your friend, the one who pilots the green lion, can she hack into the system and get these doors open?"
Keith nods, "she can."
"Have her do it."
Keith speaks into his communication device, "Pidge, we found the prisoners but we're going to need your help to get them out."
There is a long moment of drawn out silence and a faint, staticky, crackle. "Which one of your friends do you think would like to join the Galra Empire?"
"No." Keith whispers.
She wishes that they would have just followed her.
"The Altean, perhaps." The mocking crackle comes again. It is the rasp that gusts through her nightmares. The voice that reaped her of her comfort, her security. That reaped her of herself.
.oOo.
"Acxa, wait!"
She is fast, perhaps not as fast as she used to be, but she is still leagues ahead of him and he is almost certain that she is pushing herself far beyond her limits. She comes to an abrupt stop. As he pants, his eyes fall upon the cause of her sudden halt. Below them is a whole hoard of Galra. They cluster around Haggar and the egg of quintessence like worshipers to a God.
"How many beams, you got left in that gun?"
Acxa peers at it. "It needs charging. It probably has enough power left for one stun."
He curses to himself. A single stun, not even a killing shot. He fishes around for a gun of his own, but he only has his blades.
"I have an idea." And before he can ask what it is, she is scaling the beams and rafters on the ceiling, making her way towards the witch. He can't call for her to come back nor retreat without drawing unwanted attention so he looks on in horror as she carefully climbs to a safe jumping height. He wished that she would have gone at least a little lower, the fall was going to do a number on her ankles. She makes the leap regardless, throwing both she and Haggar to the floor. She is stunned just as well as the woman she had pounced on, but she recovers quicker. A room full of guns land on her but hers is fixed on Haggar.
"The Paladins and the prisoners or the witch dies."
Keith groans, so she was going to bullshit her way through this one.
The mass of Galra look to Haggar. Acxa holds her in a steely grip, her face startlingly blank. He can see the old Galra her very clearly, and not the one he had come to love. No, he was looking at the woman shot men down in Lotor's name. This mission was terribly unhealthy for her.
"You fools." Haggar spits. "Release the Paladins."
"And the prisoners."
.oOo.
She hopes that they will hurry, the fatigue is kicking in and she doesn't know how long she can hold herself up, moreover, hold Haggar steady. The gun grows heavy in her hand. It takes so long for them to assemble the prisoners but Keith confirms that he sees them emerging from the hallway. She wills them to speed it up.
"They are free." Says one of the guards.
"And the Paladins."
A few more sets of guards come to the front and push them forward. "Our leader?"
"Not. Yet." Acxa scoffs. "Keith get down here!" It is not a request and she speaks it openly and loudly. He comes to join them "Lead them back to our ship."
He nods and motions for his friends and the former captives to follow.
To Haggar, her command is much simpler. "Walk."
And the witch obliges. The Galra part for them. Her grip is growing weaker as she moves Haggar through the crowd and she hopes with everything she has, that Haggar hasn't made note of it. They are nearly at their ship and her stamina is nearly at its end.
Still, she is the last to board. And when she does, she has her back to the loading ramp. She doesn't shove Haggar away until she is in the ship. They abandon the ramp and close the hatch.
And Acxa topples.