Disclaimer: I don't own the Thor movies, Avengers movies, or anything in the Marvel franchise. The only thing that's mine is my OCs and the plot twists and turns I put in.

Say What?!

My mouth was dry and felt gross. My eyes felt crusty. My wrists throbbed a bit, a dull kind of pain.

Memories, varying in clarity, played across my closed eyelids like a drive in movie theater screen. Arriving at Asgard, the partying, the ceremony stuff, the sex and the ranting/almost fight that came immediately afterward. The emotions were still present, possibly even amplified.

I was married to two alien Gods, one of them I didn't know diddly about. Said marriage was unbreakable, definitely more binding than mortal marriage, truly til death do us part. No hiring a bunch of lawyers to draw up a divorce, moving halfway across the country to escape them entirely and forget any of this shit even happened. I could go back to Earth and try my hand at the last two, but the tattoos were a problem. I doubted I could have them removed, I could cover them up all the time, but they would always be there in the back of my mind.

I heard movement on both sides of the massive bed, the equally monstrous yawns, felt hard bodies brush briefly against me as they stretched long muscly limbs.

"Where is the bathroom?" I asked quietly, just in case Gods aren't immune to hangovers. I only now noticed how badly I had to pee since I wasn't so stuck inside my head. Shit, I'm pulling a Jane. That's a weird thought.

"The side doorway to the left." Thor answered just as quietly. Either he wasn't immune, or he had the same thought as me and was trying to be considerate.

I don't know if I believe the second one, given recent events.

I ducked into the huge, familiar and very similar color schemed bathroom. The bathtub was gigantic, reminiscent of a super sized jacuzzi or hot tub rather than a bathtub. Though given Thor's size, age, and popularity it had to be to hold him plus whatever company he brought in with him.

The thought did bother me a bit.

I returned to the bedroom to find two fully dressed Gods in the same, or in Thor's case seemingly the same, clothes as before. Heimdall had even retrieved his armor and helmet, though he hadn't put the helmet on.

"I took the liberty of having a bath drawn, if you would like." Thor said softly upon seeing me. "How did you rest?"

I noticed neither he or the guardian approached me, which was good.

"I slept just fine, thank you. A bath would be very welcome at the moment." I tried to be cool and sort of dignified, but it was difficult to accomplish when the evidence of our night together was dry and sticking to my inner thighs.

I slipped back into the bathroom, this time noticing the hot tub like bathtub full of water and purple flower petals. I stripped and lowered myself in, hissing as the deliciously hot water kissed my skin. It was the perfect temperature. I grabbed on the super soft cloths on the side and scrubbed at the mess on my thighs, feeling much better once it was gone.

For the rest of me, I took my time, reveling in the spacious tub. I had decided not to wash my hair, as I found only soap like body products on the side of the tub and I didn't see the point in it because I'd washed it yesterday.

My mother told me when I was entering into junior high school to not wash my hair everyday, it was actually bad for it. I believed her, took her advice, and it hasn't steered me wrong. My hair is silky smooth, soft to the touch and looks shiny. I suppose her homemade shampoo recipe with all natural ingredients is also a major contributing factor.

The towels were just as soft as the washing cloths, I found. I really wanted to steal a few for the journey home and bug someone in the washing department for the secret. I almost didn't put my clothes back on, preferring the soft material of the towel, but I didn't want to send mixed messages.

We were talking today. Now.

Thor and Heimdall were right where I'd left them, though they were sitting on the freshly made up bed eating from plates of fruit and cheese.

"A light snack while we discuss how you wish to proceed. There is another plate beside me with oranges and the mild cheddar you prefer." Heimdall reached behind him and procured said plate, holding it out to me. Of course he knew what fruit and cheese I preferred, he could see everything in the universe from what he and Thor told me.

Wait. . . .

"Did you check in on me in the bath so you would know when to order breakfast?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. If he could see me, it would mean he could achieve a new level of stalking.

"I didn't look, if the thought has you worried. I won't, unless you want me to, I give you my word." Heimdall answered calmly, his eyes never leaving mine.

I bit my lip, considering that.

"To be honest, Heimdall, I'm not sure if I know you well enough to take you at your word. Also, considering the events of last night, I have a lot to think about regarding how that went down and if we can move on from that. I want to believe we can, continue being civil and maybe eventually we will forget we fought over this marriage to begin with." I shrugged, attempting to keep my face neutral.

"I wish to discuss the events of last night." Thor murmured softly, his face more serious than when we woke.

"The alliance with Earth-why did you choose me? Why both of you?" This question had been bouncing around my brain since the memories began replaying in my head. "Is there a book of rules somewhere that made it necessary, or. . .?"

"I was content to let my prince make the claim in the name of Asgard, but I noticed a man from Tyria begin to voice a claim. I knew of this man. He would keep you with him in his palace and never let you visit your home world as you wished. You would not be happy that way. You are fire, you cannot be contained and put away on a shelf like a trinket of gold. You would burn all that try in your blaze, until they are but ash." Heimdall answered, standing tall and strong before me. "You are not a flower to be picked and put into a case to wilt, Darcy Lewis. You are made for greater things."

I struggled to breathe normally, the words and their delivery taking my breath for a moment or two.

"I did not see the man of who Heimdall speaks, but another man from another world wished to lay claim to you. I have other motives as well. From the night I met you, Darcy Lewis, you were fierce and interesting. You were loyal, strong, honest and loud. It was a pity you had the suitor from your previous school, Kyle, or I believe we would have connected then." Thor took up the ball, so to speak, to make me go silly and weak kneed.

"What are you talking about? You and Jane were joined at the hip back then." I needed clarification. I didn't want to assume that he meant what I think he meant.

"I have always been drawn to you, Darcy, like a moth to a flame. I honor courtships, or I would have stolen you from him without remorse." He continued, stepping closer to me and caging me in against the bed. "I would have taken you that night, if you had been free, and all the nights after, if you'd have me."

I blinked, my head spinning. I hadn't expected that or suspected it back in the day.

"I believe we have rendered our lovely etelam speechless, my prince." The guardian stated, with an amused smile.

The blonde chuckled, grinning that happy, dopey grin.

"I'm glad I can amuse you so."

"Always, etelam."

"What does that mean?"

"Wife."

"What words would I use to call you husband?"

"Eltarin."

"My eltarin." I copied with a bit of butchery, smiling at him triumphantly. "I like it."

"So do we, etelam." Thor beamed at me proudly, before his face fell slightly. "There is something else we have to do today, Darcy, but I fear you won't enjoy this next meeting. My father, Odin, had declared his wish to meet you when we rise for the day. We cannot delay any more."

Say what?

I stared at him, waiting for the click in my brain for comprehension or for either of them to start laughing.

Neither happened.

Instead, I follow my new husbands out of our bubble and down passageways, twists and turns beyond counting. Finally, we stood in front of ginormous doors that would possibly rival those from the Aesir Merinium, only made of gold.

The doors opened and my jaw unhinged, then promptly relocated to meet my feet. The entire throne room was made of gold, from the floor just ahead of us to the throne the Allfather sat upon, every column and even the AllFather's scepter was made of solid gold.

Whew, son, someone was rolling in it and not afraid to show it.

The only thing I found that wasn't made of gold was the huge mural on the ceiling that looked like it was made of cobblestones or something similar.

Thor nudged me gently, then stepped forward.

I cleared my head of my musings and followed the two toward the man sitting on the throne with the pretty, pointy weapon. This man just happened to be Thor's father and Jane mentioned his dislike for her. No reason to panic, no sir. We cool. Breathe normally.

One eyed Jim glared at us regally the entire time we approached, silent as a grave. Creepy, really.

I stopped a foot or so in front of the throne, since Heimdall and Thor did, then glanced between the three for a moment. Wasn't something supposed to happen now?

"So, my son, this is the woman you would have us call our Princess?" The Allfather said, his mask not breaking in the slightest. "You would have me give my blessing and crown her before all of Asgard?"

I noticed the change in Thor immediately, his body language changed, he was an spat perfect copy of the person I met the night I tased him.

"Yes, father. We have been bound and the bond consummated, as custom demands for the marriage to be recognized." He answered equally as regally, his shoulders stiff and his back straight.

"What of this Jane woman you brought here before this one? You sought our healers to save her, against my wishes and commands you left with her to proceed your mission, nearly costing you your life. Now she is insignificant?" The older man demanded, voice harsh and hand tightening on the scepter.

My entire body stiffened, anger flowing through me, as well as something else. Was he right? It didn't matter, no one talked about Jane like that.

"You may be an all-powerful god, Allfather, but you can't talk about my friend that way. She may be taxing, child like in many ways, oblivious to much and sometimes seemingly talking down to you but she is more than that. She's funny, awed completely by space and the stars, she would help me with anything I asked regardless of what it cost her, she's honest and sincere. You won't find too much of that where I'm from, so she's definitely special. She's a good person, and an even better friend." I finished my rant, panting heavily as the anger worked it's way out of my system.

"You think you can talk to me like that? You, a mortal?!" The Allfather roared, throwing himself from his throne to stand before us.

Ah, fuck. I stepped in it this time.

I really need to learn to control my mouth. I might actually have went too far this time, stepping on a Gods toes. A God who was as old than dirt and powerful as hell. Maybe even more so.

Yep, I done fucked up.

I refrained myself from grabbing Thor or Heimdall as a life raft, like a child. I did this, I'm gonna face up to it like a big girl.

"Father." Thor stepped up, now toe to toe with his father. "Lady Jane was never insignificant. I do not love her, but I care for her enough I couldn't allow her to die for something that was partially our fault. You banished the Aether to the realm with no measures to protect against the instance of a convergence, if she had not found it someone would have regardless, a child even."

"You blame me for the mortals idiocy?! She wandered where she was not meant to, touched something she should not and paid the consequences! Will you blame me for the wars raging throughout the planet as well?" The Allfather thundered, enraged.

"That is not the same thing, Father! Blame is not meant here, only an observation that was overlooked at the time. We cannot learn from mistakes if we do not acknowledge they exist. Jane Foster is not an idiot in any sense of the word, she is curious and thirsts for knowledge. The human race is young, they still must learn much, but they are competent and worthy of respect."

Odin scoffed.

"Mother loved Jane, I choose to believe she would be pleased to know Darcy as well. I think they would have gotten along very well, given the chance."

I sucked in a breath. Whoa. Awkward and humbling, man.

Odin's face changed, becoming softer, distant and sad.

"I never got the chance to say it, but I am very sorry for your loss." I murmured softly, my head bowed briefly in respect.

"Your ties to Lady Jane are severed? I will not have any more scandal in my court regarding mortals."

"They are. Had I truly a choice between Darcy and Jane I would have chosen differently the first time."

I am entirely sure my eyebrows had disappeared into my hair in shock. Saying he desired me and didn't whisk me away from someone else because he respected courtships is one thing. Finding out he would have chosen me over Jane if I was available, is another thing.

There was a huge chunk of my brain that just blew away and splattered against Heimdall's buff, armored shoulder.

I tuned back into reality in time to realize the room was eerily quiet.

The Allfather was silent, staring me down.

I gulped, hoping it wasn't as audible to them as it was to me.

"Standing up to those more powerful than you is stupid and dangerous." The Allfather said finally, his eye piercing straight through me. "It is also brave. We cannot stand by a princess that will not stand in defense for her people, even if it means getting into situations that can be dangerous. She will make a fine princess, even for a mortal, once she has learned what she needs to know of her station and duties."

He had practically sneered the word mortal. Other than that, he seemed almost. . . supportive?

I blinked. Um, ooookay. Does that mean he approves? I'm legit confused.

"Controlling when and whom to speak in that candid way, is one of the first steps." He continued, seating himself on his throne like the episode had never happened. Was reversing time a thing he could do? Would it be obvious, like in Prisoner of Azkaban?

Boom! There went the rest of my brain.

"I enjoy her brutal honesty. I can trust that she will always tell me if I am wrong regardless of my feelings, opinions or station." Thor stated calmly, smiling broadly like he'd just won a tremendous victory. I suppose we had. "We will begin her lessons today, neither of us needs to return to Earth immediately. It would benefit her learning if she could take approved scrolls or other learning materials with her to study on Earth when we are required to return."

Ah, fuck. Studies and books. Not how I wanted to spend my day.

"You will be in charge of her lessons, Heimdall has duties to fulfill that does not include secluding himself in the library teaching a mortal our history. You are dismissed." The AllFather decreed, snapping his scepter on the floor with conviction.

I followed Thor out in a bit of a daze. Did that seriously just happen? I thought I would be sent to the dungeon or fed to a Bilgesnipe thing I heard Thor talk about a few times back home. Instead I get off with a warning, a possible semi-approval and lessons on how to properly behave in my station? Okay, officially unexpected and a way better ending than I anticipated, if we're being totally honest.

Does that mean I will spend most of my time with Thor learning about history and stuff to do with Asgard, instead of getting to know each other better? Not in the naked way, at least not for now. We had years for that.

"Etelam, I regret that I cannot stay. I will see you tonight, if it is your wish to spend the night together again." Heimdalls' voice cut through my musings, bringing my attention to the fact we'd stopped in the middle of the passageway and had changed our positions around. He was now standing in front of me, giving me his undivided attention.

I nodded enthusiastically. "How's dinner? We can stay in the same chamber, clothes mostly on, no funny business."

He smiled, amused. "As you wish."

I leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Have fun at work."

"Enjoy your lessons." He replied, caressing my cheek in a parting gesture.

I sighed, my cheek warm where he'd touched me.

"We should perhaps begin with a trip to the Hall of Knowledge and a history of past princesses." Thor supplied, taking my hand and leading me in the opposite direction, then past the doors that led to the throne room.