A/N:I couldn't think of a better Dogberry than Jar Jar.
The parade must have been a sight to behold, but Anakin was having trouble focusing on it. The council would probably scold him and say that he was allowing his mind to become clouded, but in his defense, what person in their right mind would rather watch some Gungans riding kaadu, than Padmé Amidala. She was standing with her back to him and his arms around her. She was short enough that he could have rested his cheek on the top of her head, but her hairstyle was so elaborate that he was a little afraid to do so. For all he knew there could be something sharp and metal hidden in there.
"Look at the acrobats, Ani. Aren't they wonderful?" she said, happily.
"Oh, uh, yes," he said, glancing up as six aleena flipped around and walked on their hands.
Padmé turned around in his arms and gave him a lot that quite plainly told him that he wasn't fooling her at all. He forced his eyes on the parade and pretended to be interested for awhile. After the acrobats came a procession of Gungans, most wearing masked costumes and some operating large puppets. The Gungan boss followed behind them on a fambaa, which ambled along calmly and slowly for so large a creature. Queen Neeyutnee had offered all of her guests a seat on her balcony overlooking the square, but many of the Jedi and senators had preferred to view the parade from street level. It was more fun to be down amongst the throngs of the excited populace.
Though the sun had set, the parade route was well lit by hanging strings of light and many flickering lanterns. Some of the children of Theed were playing with fire poppers and sparkler sticks running to and fro and setting off the small bangs of light and sound. One badly behaved little child threw a popper right at Ahsoka's feet, causing her to nearly jump out of her lekku in surprise. She soon recovered enough to shout, "Why you little!" at the kid and moved as if to chase him, until Barriss Offee grabbed onto the hood of her robe to stop her.
Obi-Wan and Satine were standing next to each other, Anakin happily noted. They certainly weren't as open in their displays of affection as Anakin and Padmé - in fact they weren't even holding hands - but they seemed quite content merely to stand side by side and occasionally brush shoulders. For all his outward serenity, Anakin had known Obi-Wan long enough to be able to tell when his old master had something on his mind. Anakin suspected that Obi-Wan was paying almost as little attention to the parade as he was.
Soon enough, though, the last of the marchers passed through the street and the parade had ended. Some of the Theed citizens dispersed, heading for home, while others wanted to keep the celebrations going on the street. Anakin and Padmé walked together, his arm now draped over her shoulder, and laughed as they passed the elated and sometimes drunken revelers. Street musicians were playing, there were impromptu dances beginning, and the older kids began setting off larger and more impressive fireworks. As they got back to the main square, they ran into a group of clones from the 501st Legion. Mixer and Redeye were singing some silly song, but stopped and saluted formally when they saw Anakin, before collapsing back into laughter.
"How's it going, men?" Anakin asked, clapping Hardcase on the shoulder.
"These Nabooians really know how to party," said Hardcase. "The brothers and I are going to have a drink at a cantina some of the locals were telling us about. Why don't you two join us?"
"That could be fun," said Anakin, looking at Padme.
"You know, I think I am just too tired. But you should go, Ani," Padmé said. Anakin was about to start pouting when she stood up on her toes and whispered to him, "Come by my room when you're done."
"Alright, Hardcase, one drink it is," said Anakin with a wide grin.
Mixer and Redeye resumed their song as they led the way through the streets of Theed. It made little sense to Anakin and sounded like an antiquated form of Galactic Standard language, but after hearing it a few times he was singing along with them.
One foot in sea and one on shore
To one thing constant never
Then sigh not so, but let them go
And be you blithe and bonny
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey, nonny, nonny!
Anakin sang out with the clones in the cantina. They were even joined by one of Palpatine's guard, Rade Con, Anakin thought his name was.
"Won't the Chancellor be missing you?" Anakin asked once they finished their song for the umpteenth time.
"No, he's sound asleep in the palace. Besides, he's got five other guards to keep him safe, not mention all of Naboo's security. I should probably be getting back soon enough, though."
"Me, too. I've got a date," said Anakin.
"Ah, really? We had better be getting you back then, sir," said Rade.
They were both stumbling a little on the stone tile of the Theed streets. Anakin sang out a few more lines of the song, mostly out of order.
"Sing no more ditties, sing no more...But be you blithe and bonny...The fraud of men was da da da… And hey, nonny nonny!"
"Let's cut through the garden, sir, and avoid all the crowds," said Rade as they came around the back side of the palace.
Anakin jumped the wall easily, soon followed by Rade. He may not be a Jedi, but the personal guard of the Chancellor could hardly be a slouch. They were talking about some nonsense when they started to hear sounds in the garden. It took a moment, but then there was no mistaking what was causing those particular sort of sounds.
"Let's see who it is," whispered Rade, snickering at the moaning.
"No, let's leave them-" Anakin began, but Rade was already sneaking off. "Rade, Rade!" Anakin hissed. Then with a sigh, he followed the man, planning to grab him and drag him away from his spying.
The amorous couple in question had found what they had surely thought was a dark and secluded spot in the orchard. The woman's back was to him, but her head was thrown back, so that her long and curly brown hair cascaded across her bare skin.
"Oh, Padmé, Padmé," the man moaned with lascivious feeling.
Anakin did not wait to hear more. Both his metal and his flesh and bone hand were clenched so tightly as he stormed back to the wall, leaving Rade and the couple behind. Before he left the garden, he took out his lightsaber and violently cut down a fruit tree.
How could she do this to him?
"Listen up, palos. Wesa have a berry important mission tonight. Wesa in charge of keeping order in the streets."
Several of the Theed watchmen rolled their eyes, which mostly went unnoticed by the Gungan. They had done this job many times before and done it well. They patrolled the streets of the West Solleu neighborhood, a rather rough area in Theed. They kept the rowdy drunkards in line, they prevented people from accidentally setting real fires with the fireworks, and they spent more time than they would like arresting people for public urination. It was a festival, after all. Several of them had friends who worked as palace guards for Neeyutnee, and the rumor was that Representative Binks had broken so many plates of fine china and crystal glasses that the queen just needed him out of the palace for awhile. And so the Theed Watch had ended up with a temporary new commander.
"All-n yousa maken sure that no bad things happening right before the bombad celebration tomorrow. Stay wide-eye and stopen all crimes and bad doings. Dalee could be thieves or worse running around. So maken sure you catch all of them-sa. We don't want nobody losing their-sa mula tonight."
Colé See and Otec Ake could feel their minds beginning to numb from the endless chatter of this Gungan.
"And una more thing. Maken sure none of this bad behavior makes issa way to the palace!"
It took a moment for the watchers to snap out of their stupor, but then on queue they all said, "Yes, sir."
Jar-Jar looked pleased and left for whatever business he had. Captain Verges then stepped forward and simply said, "You know what to do, now go do it. You know your posts."
Colé and Otec were posted together over near the river. It was actually fairly quiet, as most of the activity was focused closer to the center of the city. There were a few pubs and cantinas open and a few lovers stealing a private moment together. They found one drunk man vomiting into a bush, but he was a pleasant enough fellow, so they let him off with a warning.
"Let's have a seat for a minute. My feet are killing me," said Otec.
They didn't want to be seen sitting and slacking on the job, so the two watchers climbed off the path and down toward the river bank. They sat with their backs against the stone flood barrier where they would be unseen from the path. Colé pulled out a flask from her coat and offered it Otec, who took a healthy swig. They could hear a couple arguing above them, but the sound soon faded.
"There you are, Rade!" cried a new and decidedly drunken sounding voice from the path.
"Bora, where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you," said the second voice, much more quietly than the first.
"I have been celebrating our victory with a drink. Or five."
"Hush, keep your voice down," hissed Rade.
"How did it go on your end?" asked Bora.
"It went perfectly. We destroyed that Jedi!"
Colé widened her eyes at Otec, pressing a finger to her lips and listening intently.
"I led young Skywalker through the garden, when we heard a most peculiar sound."
"Yeah, me getting it on with the lovely, Sabé," laughed Bora.
"Shh! Yes, indeed, though. And as soon as Skywalker heard you calling her the name of his love -"
"Oh, Padmé, Padmé!" Bora said as a demonstration.
"-Away he went, enraged!"
"And he really believed that Sabé was Padmé?"
"Believe it? We had him ready to strangle the dear senator. Now the Chancellor will pay us handsomely for this. We're going to be rich men, Bora."
From behind the flood wall, Otec mouthed to Colé, "is this a crime?"
Colé shrugged. "Drunk and disorderly, at least," she mouthed back. She drew her blaster and held up a fist. She raise one finger, then two, and on the third finger, they both leapt over the wall to the path where to men stood.
"Stop, in the name of Queen Neeyutnee," said Colé.
One of the men wore the dress of the Senatorial guards, but the other was in Theedian clothing and swaying tremendously in his intoxication. The human one watched them with beady eyes, but seeing that he had two blasters aimed at him, he raised his hands in surrender. Colé and Otec each handcuffed a man and led them away toward the local jail, often referred to as the Drunkard's Hotel.